Long story short, I decided to move in with writing that summer of 2021. My biological writing clock alarm was going off. All I could think about was bringing a brand new story into the world. I decided this was going to be the year that I would start getting my ideas out to writing’s circle of friends.
Since day one, I have been the subject of many catty comments among writing’s friend group. Some I know is valid, and some that is largely a matter of taste (I'm in a super minority by writing YA, first person, and present tense).
One thing for sure has been that I have met more criticism than praise. Some of the people I've shared my writing with have been very harsh even saying some of my scenes "made them cringe". Writing tells me to ignore them because they’re “jealous of your awesome talent”.
Writing has been going away for hours at a time saying stuff about needing to “take walks” and stuff like that. It’s also snaps at me if it thinks I’m abandoning it. I tried making dinner last night and it stumbled into the kitchen to loudly accuse me of being a "two-timing whore". I told them that my relationship with cooking was strictly family related as my parents did cooking too. It said nothing than apologized before walking away.
I’ve received endless texts suggesting how I can fix up my story but in a very passive aggressive way. Like it’s hinting I would be a total failure in life without it. Sometimes there’s no critical feedback, just angry ranting. I’m starting to think it has a drinking problem. Whenever I bring it up it sends back angry texts saying it has no goddamn problem and I should mind my own goddamn business, that I’m the one with the problems, etc, etc.
At this point, my whole relationship to writing has become drenched in fear. "Will i like this?" "Why didn't they like my last piece?" "Was So-and-so's chapter really any better than mine?" "Is writing meeting with So-and-so when I’m not around?”
It's sapping all the fun out of my relationship with writing. I get that not everyone's writing may appeal to everyone but it really is difficult to keep motivation in face of all the harsh feedback. I love writing, and I love my stories. I just don't know how to make other people love them too.
Feedback of any kind would be greatly appreciated. Also happy to share the angry texts it sent me if that provides insight.
By - JadedFlea
Original sauce text (thanks to archiving being nuked for the time being): > **Afraid my Relationship to Writing is Becoming Toxic** > Long story short, I decided to pick up writing in summer 2021. Had this story in my head and I just had to get it out. Decided this year to start showing my writing to writers in meetup groups. > Since day one I have been meeting a lot of criticism. Some I know is valid, and some that is largely a matter of taste (I'm in a super minority by writing YA, first person, and present tense). > One thing for sure has been that I have met more criticism than praise. Some of the people I've shared my writing with have been very harsh even saying some of my scenes "made them cringe". > At this point, my whole relationship to writing has become drenched in fear. "Will the group like this?" "Why didn't they like my last piece?" "Was So-and-so's chapter really any better than mine?" > It's sapping all the fun out of writing. I get that not everyone's writing may appeal to everyone but it really is difficult to keep motivation in face of all the harsh feedback. I love writing, and I love my stories. I just don't know how to make other people love them too. > Feedback be appreciated. Also happy to share work if that provides insight.
>(I'm in a super minority by writing YA, first person, and present tense). I can't belief that part was an actual quote
Lmao that’s exactly what I came here to say
>sauce /uj This is just oop saying 'I like my writing and I can't bear to hear bad about it' but it has been coated in so many layers of convoluted modern terminology that oop has framed themself as a victim here. I wonder if this is just a person's mentality to not accept that they need to get better/look elsewhere or if the internet has made them all start to see themselves as victims even if they would normally think otherwise.
Uj/ por que no los dos
/uj the one charitable reading I’d give here is their writing group might be a super literary circlejerk, in which case why tf are they online and not looking for a new group already
/uj Yeah, I took it as the group is either non-genre fiction or nowhere near his writing peers in age/genre/style. Dude definitely needs to find his tribe and ditch this one
> or if the internet has made them all start to see themselves as victims I assure you there are plenty of perpetual victims in the older generations, as anyone who's worked a minimum wage, customer-facing position can confirm.
oh definitely, I meant mostly with the speech they use it feels like people who usually won't be that way have started to act like it, almost as if they're confusing themselves just as much as they confuse the readers.
uj/ The original reads like my diagnosed narcissist mother wrote it before the internet was a part of our lives. Co-opting victimized language is a part of manipulation that's not new. Please note I am not saying OOP is a narcissist here just noting the similarities between their belief in specialness, narrative twisting because surely feedback is wrong, and dramatic need for reassurance from strangers. They would be doing this without the net. With just means we get to see the wonder of thinking they're a minority for writing the most common genre and the most common pov in my area. I do cringe by default at first person though.
/uj Honestly, I also really relate to trying to make sure I get enough feedback without obsessing over it. But damn, this made it so unnecessarily complicated.
Ok, you were going to hear this eventually so I guess I’ll rip off the bandaid: Me and writing have been seeing each other behind your back for seven months.
You’re also going to hear this eventually: I’ve been seeing writing from behind for several years
Lawyer up, hit the gym, delete facebook
Delete the gym, Facebook up and hit the lawyer.
No, no, no you must delete the lawyer, gym up, and hit Facebook!
> writing YA, first person, and present tense Just throwing out a guess, a Heroes Journey story? /uj This just makes me thankful that my editors and fellow writers are more skilled and talented than me.
To answer your question: [Megaman Fanfiction](https://www.reddit.com/r/FanFiction/comments/127fs5q/weekly_fic_showcase_new_rules_in_post_march_31/jf8xpkg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)
Wait you weren't kidding
*\*holy music stops\**
/uj Not sure what's worse, the fanfic or the fact some of the corrections people made were equally wrong/worse. Also, a friend of mine wrote Megaman fanfics when were in middle school. But that was 1998 so it was a different time.
People usually accuse their partners when they have something to feel guilty about. I am sure that writing is cheating on you, dump and move on, maybe sculpting would like you
> So here's the thing I have been very resistant to studying story structure cause I didn't want it to restrain my creativity. I write my stories out like a fever dream. 100 years from now people will appreciate his genius
The YA Megaman Fanfic craze will be literary classic at that point.
Wait, first-person present-tense YA is a minority?
Yeah, where have you been? Men’s Adventure and early 20th Century Europe third person Espionage is currently all the rage.
Well, fiddlesticks. I just finished the outline for my late 19th Century Europe third person Espionage novel. Guess I have to toss it and start all over.
Keep it, it’s niche and may comeback into popularity. Also, you might rewrite as a screenplay or even a graphic novel, maybe reset as Steampunk or Erotica.
They forgot "I tried to get a restraining order against writing but then I missed it and wanted it back, is that toxic of me?"
Our hero saves literature from mediocrity again: > you should really watch Brandon sandersons writing group rules. If you're running a writing group where someone stating how a passage makes them feel can get them banned , you should realize that in itself is kind of cringey
Oh. no. Not this. LOL. I knew it would be here.
We all feel that way all the time. You're just finally a real writer.
Writing was with me last night. That cheating whore! I knew it wasn't telling me the truth when it said I am it's one and only. Does it also tell you that you are going to be the next George RR Martin?
Actually it said Stephen King but it said it in a very slurred voice. Did writing drink as many tequilas with you?
I don't drink and am already the next Stephen King so you just are thinking of the time it was with me before.
OOP comments: So here's the thing I have been very resistant to studying story structure cause I didn't want it to restrain my creativity. I write my stories out like a fever dream. Like I said I'm quite proud of my current home but given the audience reaction I'm might need to give up the ghost and study this stuff formally. A little unsure where to start though. Any books you recommend? I guess I feel overly confident in my ability to intuit these things. I have Stephen king's book it's was slightly discouraging for me. He believes a lot in natural talent and much of the book is personal antidotes. I've yet to finish it.
Hmmm, interesting. And what does your Writing say about all this?