Long story short, I decided to move in with writing that summer of 2021. My biological writing clock alarm was going off. All I could think about was bringing a brand new story into the world. I decided this was going to be the year that I would start getting my ideas out to writing’s circle of friends.
Since day one, I have been the subject of many catty comments among writing’s friend group. Some I know is valid, and some that is largely a matter of taste (I'm in a super minority by writing YA, first person, and present tense).
One thing for sure has been that I have met more criticism than praise. Some of the people I've shared my writing with have been very harsh even saying some of my scenes "made them cringe". Writing tells me to ignore them because they’re “jealous of your awesome talent”.
Writing has been going away for hours at a time saying stuff about needing to “take walks” and stuff like that. It’s also snaps at me if it thinks I’m abandoning it. I tried making dinner last night and it stumbled into the kitchen to loudly accuse me of being a "two-timing whore". I told them that my relationship with cooking was strictly family related as my parents did cooking too. It said nothing than apologized before walking away.
I’ve received endless texts suggesting how I can fix up my story but in a very passive aggressive way. Like it’s hinting I would be a total failure in life without it. Sometimes there’s no critical feedback, just angry ranting. I’m starting to think it has a drinking problem. Whenever I bring it up it sends back angry texts saying it has no goddamn problem and I should mind my own goddamn business, that I’m the one with the problems, etc, etc.
At this point, my whole relationship to writing has become drenched in fear. "Will i like this?" "Why didn't they like my last piece?" "Was So-and-so's chapter really any better than mine?" "Is writing meeting with So-and-so when I’m not around?”
It's sapping all the fun out of my relationship with writing. I get that not everyone's writing may appeal to everyone but it really is difficult to keep motivation in face of all the harsh feedback. I love writing, and I love my stories. I just don't know how to make other people love them too.
Feedback of any kind would be greatly appreciated. Also happy to share the angry texts it sent me if that provides insight.
By - JadedFlea