A friend of mine was walked down the aisle with both parents at her side. I don't really think of it as the bride being "handed" to the groom these days. To me, it's more like you're getting walked down the aisle by someone (or two people) who support you. I've mentioned it elsewhere, but my sister-in-law was walked down the aisle by her little brother. I don't think anyone thought "little Jason is giving his sister to the groom." But if you really, really don't like the tradition, that's fair too and I hope you get some good suggestions here.


My wife and I are Quaker and our cultural tradition is that the couple walks down the aisle together, so we did that. My dad isn’t Quaker (hers is) but understood that it was important to us.


My FH and I aren't Quaker, but we decided at the start that he and I would walk together. For us it's symbolic - our lives together have already begun and we're here to welcome you to our next phase of togetherness.


Not Quaker, but my husband and I walked together, and it was great! It certainly calmed my nerves.


I've seen two couples walk each other down the aisle and I thought it was absolutely perfect. It was like they were saying "we are coming here together to this place to get married." It was so lovely!


I went to a wedding where I saw the groom's parents walk him down the aisle and the brides parents walked her down the aisle. I thought it was nice! I'll probably do that.


I'm going to have both my parents, one on each arm. I agree about just the father feeling very archaic and like I'm a possession. With both parents it's more like they're guiding me into this next stage of my life.


I walked down with my dad but we stopped at the last row of chairs, I gave him a hug and then walked the rest of the way to my husband. It felt right. There was no "giving away," no handshake, etc.


Why not process down the aisle and recess back out together? It’s not typical or traditional but I’ve seen it done and it’s awesome.


I have also been wrestling with this question for similar reasons. I really dislike the origin of the father walking the bride down the aisle, and it has nothing to do with my relationship with my dad or the fact my parents very recently divorced. But my dad felt like I was punishing him or picking my mom over him when I said I wasn't sure I wanted him to walk me down the aisle. But, I found a solution! I'm Greek Orthodox and the old Greek tradition (which is the same in other eastern European countries) is that the bride is walked by her parents to the church doors, where the groom and his parents wait. Then, the parents and priest process in, and the bride and groom walk down the aisle together. It predates the western tradition of giving away women as property and it symbolizes the bride and groom equally and voluntarily bringing their relationship from the outside world into the church. So, I am going to have my dad (without my mom) drive me and walk me to the church doors, where my mom, FH, and FH's parents will be waiting. There won't be any "who gives this bride" because we don't do that in the Orthodox church, but there will be hugs and a photographed moment of my dad and I, so he gets the ceremonial recognition of having raised his daughter well and being able to rest easy knowing I've found a good man whom I've deemed worthy of marriage. My dad didn't love this because he has dreamed of walking his little girl down the aisle since I was born, but he understands that the symbolism is important to me and he came around to it when I explained why I so dislike the western giving away tradition and that it has nothing to do with him or the divorce. I think he just really wanted some sort of ceremonial recognition that he did a good job as a dad (and he really did), and this accomplishes that. We're going to include a blurb in our programs explaining the ancient tradition and it's symbolism to hopefully make sure no one thinks it's an insult to my dad. Obviously that bit doesn't apply for non-Orthodox folks, but you could find a way to explain it in a program! Anyway, we're going to do a first look and a pre-ceremony shot of ouzo together (it's a Greek thing), he is going to give a toast at the reception, and we're going to do a daddy-daughter dance, so he's still getting the rest of the father-of-the-bride honors, and that seemed to help him come around.


I am thinking about this question too. I'm wondering if we can reclaim the tradition as important people in your life walking you to the next part of your journey. So it's not about your dad passing you off as property but symbolizing he supports this next part of your life. I'm thinking of including some words in our ceremony program that say something like- thank you to my parents for walking with me to this next chapter of my life.


I originally didn’t want to be walked down the aisle AT ALL by anyone. My dad was a little hurt when I told him, and was worried people would think I would hate him (I don’t, everyone knows we have a great relationship). I made the decision to have him walk me part way (barn to aisle start) and then I walk myself the rest of the way


I opted to just walk by myself. Although I’ve seen some weddings where the brides walk by themselves halfway down the aisle where their parent waits for them. Then they walk together towards the end of the aisle where the groom waits for the bride. Though I feel like they just do the walking alone for the photos. Hope the way I described it makes sense! ESL :)


There was a post like this yesterday. I think the whole asking permission to propose and then giving away is dumb and very 1900s. My fiancé told my dad and mom (divorced) he would be proposing, he didn’t ask but gave them a heads up as a courtesy (everyone knew it was coming eventually). My dad will walk me down the aisle then give me a hug, give my fiancé a hug or shake his hand, then sit down. None of the “who gives this girl away, her father” crap


This is entirely between you and your parents. I've been to weddings where the bride walked down the aisle alone, I've been to one where she was walked down the aisle by friends with no family in sight, and I've been to weddings where she is walked down the aisle flanked by different 5 family members and multiple "dads". Don't worry about how it's been done before, worry about what works for you and your family and your relationship with them. This is about what will make you and your family happy and is entirely a discussion between you all, making it work for the structure of the ceremony afterwards is easy.


I'm in a similar situation and I'm planning to have my mom walk me down the aisle, and then do the father-daughter dance with my dad. This way they can both have an important role in the wedding.


It's entirely up to you how you want to do it, but you can also just choose to view it differently. For me, the only part that seems possessive was the "who is giving away this woman" thing. So I will absolutely not be including that in my wedding. But I'm viewing my dad walking me down the aisle as him being there for me, not giving me away. I do want to include my dad in that moment, I know it'll be important for him and I don't want to take that away from him, or miss out on that moment for myself


I feel the same way you do and am absolutely walking myself down the aisle. I'm not an object to be given away. I vote you do your wedding how you want and just nicely explain to your dad that that specific tradition is from when women were considered property and you don't want to participate in it.


You could have your dad walk you halfway or most way down the isle to where your husband is waiting and then you and your husband walk up to the alter together hand in hand, equally.


My fiancé and I are probably going to walk in together. We strongly prefer the symbolism of walking together than of being given away. My dad died about 10 years ago, so my grandmother (his mom) wanted to walk me down. She...does not want to understand why I said no.


I feel exactly the same. We are doing father-daughter and mother-son dances at the reception and I'm hoping that makes him feel less like it's a dig at him. He knows I'm untraditional, so I'm hoping he's not too caught off guard. I don't want the bridesmaids walking down with the groomsmen either, honestly. I see no need to pair people up. He can bring his party down the aisle however he likes and I want my 2 bridesmaids to walk with me, either carrying my train or scattering flower petals


I had this exact thought - I'm (lucky to be) very close to my Dad, so it wasn't anything to do with our relationship, I just didn't want to be "handed over". I had an honest discussion with him, and he was a bit surprised at first, but we solved it two ways: 1. He's going to read a poem before I enter, so he is involved in the ceremony (and nobody reads anything bad into the solo aisle-walking) 2. He hates formal wear, so we downgraded our dress code from "black tie" to "black tie optional/lounge suit" as a concession/bargaining chip!