My dad never wrote me an excuse more like this

My dad never wrote me an excuse more like this


mask exemptions in pennsylvania are for **medical reasons,** not bcuz the kid 'doesn't want to.' the pennsylvania education dept [asserted that “any school entity simply permitting a parent’s sign-off without evidence that the student has a medical or mental health condition ... is not in compliance with the order.” It said districts should determine eligibility in accordance with federal disability laws, and request medical documentation as they normally would.](https://apnews.com/article/health-education-pennsylvania-coronavirus-pandemic-1051de52f95c419de054b115fa91360e) this idiot spent 11 lines making groundless threats, **but didn't bother to list an actual medical reason.** he got his letter **notarized**, but couldn't bother to google what a mask exemption *actually requires.* par for the anti-vaxxer course. fuck shit up for others, cause mayhem, and then threaten the people trying to clean up yr mess


Our pa district is requiring an iep or 520. This badly spelled bs would be laughed at


Badly spelled, poor grammar, and horrible formatting. The trifecta of the anti-vax manifesto.


Don’t forget all the inconsistencies in capitalization.


Random capitalization Makes things look More Official than they actually are,,, Because I think he wants this To Look Like some sort of Official Filing,,, and not Some Bullshit that he Typed up Really Quickly because he watches Faux news and is Just being an Obstructionist ButtHat for Reasons Unknown. ,,,


Signed genetically related biological Paternal XX homosapein DNA Donor visa via natural vaginal heterosexual Missionary Intercourse with another homosapien on the beach procreating the human student above.


Um... XX is the mother; father would be XY. Or was that deliberate?




Lmao someone has actually said this to me. I could not tell if they were being serious or not.


That's a story you have to tell now.


I would really be interested in stepping into someones head who writes a paragraph like that, looks at it, and thinks "perfect,,,Send it!"


I wondered if the Notary laughed to themselves when they read it.


Even better - having his signature notarized isn't free. It's not expensive, but he dropped coin thinking that made it official, when it actually had zero to do with the content of the letter. "Yup, that's your signature. 10 bucks, please and thanks. OK, buhbye!"


You'd be surprised. This is probably their most sane version.


listen, Seragation is a real problem


listen,,, Seragation is a real problem


I also would not want my child to be serrated.


sharpest kid in class


I came to this comment for the random capitalization, stayed for the “butthat”. Nicely done.


Bro didn't even capitalize the name of the school his kid goes to, how are you that consistently lazy on your own forgeries?


And the excessive use of "above" 🤣


My favorite was when he referenced "to above said institution" and then added the school name anyway.


The school name in entirely lowercase letters, with the exception of the word Senior.


Yeah? And who the hell do you plp think you are?


We are the abovenamed plps, as above.


He needed to follow MTG's example and include an actual meme if he wanted to be taken seriously.


You mean 504.


That’s exactly what I meant. Not even sure why I put 520. 420 maybe but not 520


You can consume edibles with a mask on except during putting it into your mouth. So you probably didn't mean 420.


Based on the content of the letter, the dad could have used an IEP...


Or his mom could've used an IUD.


Don't you notarize something to prove that it was you that signed it? So all this parent did was legally prove he is a moron


Exactly, the notary has to watch you sign before they sign/stamp the letter. I bet they were eye-rolling pretty hard at this.


Easy money I guess


Most don’t charge, or it’s a couple bucks if it’s something unrelated to doing business with them. Usually banks will do it if you have an account, real estate and law folks have some of their people commissioned as notaries so they have one on site, etc.


In CA it’s $15 a signature. You can get it free at some banks, but other than that you usually have to pay. Edit: Adding that banks can only notarize certain documents legally as well.


Yes, all it means is they checked your ID and watched you sign it. I worked at a state-funded program providing various services to people with disabilities, with really strict eligibility guidelines where only a few factors were left up to clinician judgment. We often couldn’t make kids eligible even when we agreed they were concerning. Periodically we would have a parent bring in a notarized letter either using IEP/504/ADA language or just their own brand of entitled nutjob speak stating they demanded their kid get services. And of course these weren’t ever really concerning kids or families in awful situations; they were always parents who made a shitload of money at heavily unionized trade jobs who could easily go to a private pay clinic for their kid’s mild issues. They truly thought notarization meant the person had legitimized the contents of the letter, and would insist that “the notary read it.” Same folks who’d pull out stuff like “my great aunt is a nurse and says if a kid isn’t waking by 12 months they have Down syndrome.”


In my state, at least, there are two types of notarizations. Briefly: An **acknowledgment** is basically just for verification that the signature belongs to the person named on the document. A **jurat**, by comparison, involves the signer swearing or affirming the truth of the contents of the documents.


Sovereign Citizens believe that notarizing something imbues it with magical legal powers. It's possible this dad dabbles in or is fully into sovereign citizen nonsense.


Why isn’t he sending his kid to a private school that doesn’t mandate masks? I really don’t understand what grounds these people think they’re fighting over.


Can't afford tuition. And in PA, the private schools are probably requiring masks too. Private PA schools are religious (catholic, Jewish, quaker, not too many protestant that I know of) academically advanced, or charter. He'd have to find some shitty expensive charter school that's generally corrupt and under investigation for many other reasons.


Seems like he should pull himself up by his bootstraps.


Wait are charter schools in PA not free public schools like they are in other states?


Charter schools nationwide can do whatever they want. Some get federal funding and some don't. Some are expensive and some have financial aid and some are free.


I saw an article about CO at least also [requiring private schools to mask](https://www.reporterherald.com/2021/09/16/resurrection-christian-school-changes-course-on-masks-to-avoid-closure/), so yeah, not an exemption.


But MY TAXES pay YOUR WAGES so you HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY. Or something like that. Nevermind that schools have always had dress codes, codes of conduct, required immunization records, etc. I remember in high school, we even got a TB test during homeroom because there was a scare. I don't even remember if they send home waivers for that or not. They might have. It was just so 'not a goddamn issue' that it barely merits remembering. I remember the test because it was just a completely different test than taking a swab and sending it in.


Not to mention it looks like it isn’t even a valid document any administrator worth their salt would accept. Just because you wrote some words on a paper doesn’t make it valid. There are so many mechanical and capitalization mistakes it’s almost a joke.


Also, that margin looks like it’s shaved a bit too thin. Just a ”little bit”.


No, no, he wrote "warm regards" so it's obviously official


If you genuinely have a medical condition...aren't you more at risk and should therefore WANT to take precautions? Should someone , for example, who has breathing problems put themselves at risk of getting a respiratory disease?


Just as an example, my son is disabled and has severe developmental delays, including asd, where he physically can't wear a mask. He just doesn't understand and will constantly remove it. Hence he is homeschooled for the foreseeable future.


Oh, I was under the impression that he was asking for a mask exemption, b/c he was afraid that the lack of oxygen to his son's brain would somehow make him as illiterate as his father.


>this idiot spent 11 lines making groundless threats, > >but didn't bother to list an actual medical reason. Or to proofread.


Even if someone has a legitimate medical reason for not wearing a mask, and a written note from their physician, does that mean others, including school districts, public and private transit, is required to allow them to mingle with others? Or are they allowed to make accommodation for medical exemptions, such as online learning?


But but but... it's notarized and everything!


The Notary Public thing is meaningless. It doesn’t give any legal force…just means you got is signed by an NP. This is someone who is desperate to appear like an authority, however his infantile spelling and attempt at legal sounding language suggest…otherwise.


I'm a Notary. All my seal really does is allow a given jurisdiction to punish you if you lie. I am neither liable nor a surety. Sort of like what this guy did.


I wonder how many stories you could tell about the insane stuff you notarized over the years. If you are bored and have writing talent maybe you could give us a taste? \*grabs popcorn\*




I’m furious this doesn’t exist.


r/talesfromthenotary? Edit: damn. Doesn’t exist either


r/notaryfacepalms Not that one either.


So it’s just a way of expressing that there is truth to your statement because you’re prepared to face the consequences of it being a lie? That’s it?


Notarizing is a measure to prevent someone from forging a signature or backdating something. The notary stamping it just means they confirmed you are who you say you are and that you confirmed what's on the paper is what you wrote. I have no idea what value the father thinks he's getting out of notarizing his ridiculous note.


Makes it look more “official.” Bad grammar and horrendous formatting.. but hey It’s notarized!


For us it allows people to be punished under the Evidence Act. It's literally the same legal concept as swearing in a witness or an affidavit just with a different script.


Notary here too. There are two things we do - acknowledgments and oaths. An acknowledgment is just to certify that the person who signed the document is the person named, and where and when they signed it. For an oath, you administer an oath to the person signing where they swear that they have read the contents of the document and believe or know them to be true. OP's letter contains notarial text for an oath, although usually you use that on an affidavit, a sworn statement, that has other language -- just the "sworn to before me" isn't enough. I personally wouldn't notarize an oath unless it had the appropriate language and format.


Nor would I. And in Canada this would only require a Commissioner of Oaths, assuming it isn't leaving the jurisdiction.


AND it's improperly notarized. We don't notary documents themselves. A certificate with the state, county, name of person whose signature you are notarizing along with something that identifies the certificate as an acknowledgement or jurat are all missing and the date notarized are all missing.


Lol, so he's just got a friend with a stamp?


Who needs his commission revoked, LOL!


It means he wasted $5 and a bunch of time


Only $5? It's $30 to get a notary stamp where I am.


I've always been able to get it free from either the church secretary when I still did church, or from the school secretary. Maybe you should ask around next time you need something notarized. . .


That's always how it goes with sovereign citizens. a delusional use of law, then everyone else says "ok so anyway, that's not real and you're going to jail and will be held to the same legal and moral consequences as everyone else."


Exactly so. He might just as well have written I AM ZOOT EMPEROR OF THE PLANET JOINDER - just because an NO stamped it doesn’t make it so.


And what's the Sherrif gonna do? lol. Dude doesn't want to put a lawyer on retainer but a $5 notary? That's the same thing right? haha


Well to be fair, your dad could probably spell segregated.


That's the least of the mispellings and poor grammar. Why is he using several commas? Im not Godzilla but I still had a stroke trying to read this shit.


commas as ellipses,,,,,,,, extra ( spaces) where not needed. Needless Capitalization of certain words or Entire WORDS This man needs to switch places with his kid and retake some classes.


They don’t know where the apostrophe/quotation mark key is on their keyboard so they just throw in commas all over the place. Seriously, there are none of either in the entire letter. I’m thinking it has to be a troll job. It’s just too perfect in how stupid it makes anti-maskers look to be real.


Don't accuse me of an apostrophe! I'm healthy as a yak, and no one in my family has ever had an apostrophe.


My dad would spell it, give me the country of origin and a history of how it’s been used since the 1940s. He’s a dork.


~~He’s a dork.~~ He's Awesome. FTFY


Lol. I mean it as a term of endearment.


“Legal *and biological* father” Nobody asked


Its the sov cit movement. Hes not only the kid's legal father (with all caps) but he the kid's natural father too. There's a whole thing with strawmen that are the Legal you bit not really you because the legal you is in ALL CAPS and the real you isn't. V weird stuff Happy cake day!


I too noticed the sovereign citizen language used in that letter.


Calling the sheriff is a dead giveaway


And the fact that he had it notarized.


Notaries must be making bank on all these sovcit docs


In many cases, they are asked not to notarize for SovCits. [Avoid Notarizing for Sovereign Citizens](https://blog.notary.org/2020/04/avoid-notarizing-for-sovereign-citizens/) [Notaries Can Say No To Sovereign Citizens](https://www.nationalnotary.org/notary-bulletin/blog/2011/01/notaries-say-no-sovereign-citizens)


> sovereign citizen language Does “natural born son of Rose Bolton” count?


Great point! To say I used to work in the courts, I should be much better at spotting Sov Cit nonsense when I see it.


Next thing they will complain about the fringe on the flag being about the admiralty or some BS.






I see it as a divorce where she’s moved on and he’s pissed about it


Yeah, I get those vibes. And I bet the moms boyfriend is vaccinated and wears his mask when he's required to.


> is vaccinated and wears his mask when he's required to. What a chad!


The dentist? The husbands brother?




Hes saying he owns this child. I'm sure the kid is embarrassed


“And yeah, in case you were wondering, I fucked”


It’s Ephrata so it makes sense if you are from around the area (source I live a town over)


I’m in Berks so I know EXACTLY what you’re saying.


Glad I wasn’t the only one who felt that was unnecessary.


He was definitely trying to pull out all his big words.


"of the above name student." Just the last in a line of grammatical errors


Having something stamped by a commissioner of oaths does not make the document legally binding/enforceable dumbass. It just asserts that it was your stupid ass who signed it.


Commissioner of oaths? That is a very fancy sounding title!


I’m Canadian😂. That would be ‘notary public’ for my neighbours (not neighbors) down south. 😉


Gotta be honest, after learning the title exists, I now prefer Commissioner of Oaths over notary public.


Its just an objectively cooler title. Move over Khaleesi, commissioner of oaths has arrived.


It would make a lot more sense in the US also. In fact Notaries are not allowed to advertise their services in Spanish with the direct translation notario público because that implies in Mexico that you can practice law, not sure about other spanish-speaking countries. If you advertise in Spanish you have to put in English and in Spanish "I am not an attorney licensed to practice law in Texas and may not give legal advice or accept fees for legal advice" there are a lot of shady people running around with a notary stamp that are presenting themselves as immigration specialists


I stopped reading after he wrote “,,”. This man is trying to seem so educated and fancy, but he probably never even finished high school. I feel sorry for his kid who never really had a chance in life.


Are you telling me the triple comma after "to whom it may concern" did not break you?


I missed that. Now I’m broken :(


Mission accomplished.


It looks like he used all the punctuation in the first few lines and almost ran out for the rest of his rant.


,, like .. or - - is a pause or paragraph break. It’s an old-school way of writing it (from postcards and letters). Linguist Gretchen McCulloch wrote about it in her book *Before Internet*. (That way of writing a pause is not in itself ignorant but instead a cultural thing, generally a sign of being older when somebody started using the internet.) Plenty of other ignorant claims here to skewer.


I don't know the McCulloch book, but I am old AF (old enough to have taken a typing class on manual typewriters in school) and never heard that it was grammatically correct to use commas for ellipses . . . or for a paragraph break. He also doesn't need a substitute for a paragraph break because he has enough room to actually double space.


It's not correct. Other languages swap comma and period sometimes but he's writing in English and clearly American so he can't use that excuse. Also he doesn't have the right spaces. It's "space dot space dot space dot space" or let your document software auto-format your ellipse.


Bingo, and only time I’ve seen comma and periods swapped is in number (I.e. €1,00 instead of €1.00) curious if it applies to writing as well. But the commas seem to be the smallest problem, the extremely large paragraph, narrow margins, lack of an indent, selective use of spaces, and entertaining capitalization habits are all more concerning. I’m just wondering how the notary didn’t crack up reading this.


TIL! But this guy isn’t using the commas where a paragraph break should be though. Seems like he’s using them instead of regular commas. But this explains why I only ever see boomers using commas like that (whether correctly or incorrectly!)


Oh lol had no idea! Thank you! He still sounds stupid af tho! :D


You're right that you can use a double dash to break a sentence, but he is not doing it right. Ykno who's a master of dashes and pauses in sentences? Stephen King. He's got an English teacher's grasp of punctuation and he's poetic in his use of it. I learned a lot from him as a young writer.


I wonder what actually happens with these? Do these people actually send them, and if so, what does the school do? I’m thinking the vast majority don’t get sent, but makes the person look tough online, but I maybe wrong.


It gets passed around the staff room to be laughed at.


Am teacher. Can confirm.


I mean, why is the city in lower case? Anyone share with these kind folk the going cost of burial services yet? Signed-a fed up RN ✌🏻


I notice this isn’t notarized and also didn’t indicate that you are indeed a legal and biological RN. I’m afraid I’m going to have to call the county sheriff and ask him to hand out repurcussions




Also an RN btw, sending solidarity and some positivity your way. Hope you feel valued, appreciated, and that you have supports and a safe place to debrief during these times.


> why is the city in lower case It's written four times, and each phrase is different: * "Ephrata senior high school" * "ephrata Pennsylvania" * "ephrata Senior high school" * "a EPHRATA school district"


🤷🏻‍♀️❤️ someone failed English at “ephrata”…


It’s some kind of sovereign citizen bullshit. They fuck around with different capitalization “strategies” and think it has some meaning or legal loophole.


Correct. Whatever the flavor of the month sovcit is saying depends on what is surrounded by commas or capitalized.


Police departments won't get involved with this at all. That's like calling the cops because the school requires your kid to tuck in their shirt. These people are idiots. I do completely believe this could and would happen, but this picture looks edited. Possibly just low quality??


In PA, the Sheriffs are court officers, with limit powers.


Every state has some law officer at the county level who can act as a process server for court papers. Are the ones in PA doing something else? They only thing I could think he meant was a threat of suing the school district. > **Sheriff, marshal, or constable.** All states allow personal service to be made by law officers, although not all officers will serve civil subpoenas. Using this method is often valuable for its sobering effect. The fee can be added to your judgment if you win. [Source](https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/small-claims-book/chapter11-4.html)


I could be wrong, but I think he was confusing Sheriff with County Police. He would need a judgment for te Sheriff to enforce. County Police would be called for arrest or complaint. Both are County offices, Sheriff elected, County PD Chief is appointed.


Capital letters Are soooo conFusing!


Came here to say the same.


"Has my permission and with his wishes" so what? Also correct capitalisation 🤦‍♂️. He doesn't *want* to wear them? Well, others don't want to catch Covid. The high school name keeps changing from upper to lower case and punctuation needs editing. Did the parent go to school?


Probably why the principal thought it was forged. It screams “hello fellow grown ups who are adults like me”


It could be the parent, age doesn't always equal maturity. It's irrelevant either way.


They are vastly overestimating the smarty smarts of the average parent. That being said, it isn't the worst thing I have gotten from a parent. But we will eagerly pass this around for a good laugh.


what,, do,, you,, mean!!!!!!?


😂 Seriously why is it common to use excessive commas? Like, it's basic punctuation easily fixed. Maybe in a text or message sure more likely to have errors but otherwise.


>did the parent go to school? Probably not, most award winners I see are totally illiterate. This is pretty good by their standards


Well this just screams sovereign citizen. Weird language, syntax, capitalization, and punctuation. I do enjoy how they try to use the very government/power structures they fundamentally reject to attempt to get their way.


You do not want to follow the rules? Get fucked.


This guy sounds like a paranoid maniac.


“Sovereign Citizen”


I scrolled so far in the comments to find someone mentioning sovereign citizens lol this letter literally screams sovereign buzzwords like it's the only vocabulary he ever learned


I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a form letter he downloaded from a sovereign website and just entered in the details like a mad lib.


I see at least five typos in the first two lines... And these mugs got the nerve to react to this post with angry and sad faces?


So that signature reads “bitter divorce, I haven’t moved on but she has” right?


Two people at the company are used to work for just blatantly disregarded the mask rule the whole time. One was fucking around on her husband and the other was the least liked manager in the company (because he was just such, such a douchey narcissist). It’s not like I studied it but when they said the anti-maskers and people noncompliant with rules had the dark personality triad it immediately checked out with my personal experience


This kid definitely needs to go to school so that his spelling and grammar doesn’t end up like his “Legal and biological” dad’s lol. Reminds me of that Illinois woman who spelled Moderna wrong on her fake vaccine card. [‘Maderna’ Fake Vaccine Card](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.khon2.com/coronavirus/illinois-woman-with-maderna-vaccine-card-wanted-for-missing-court-hearing/amp/) Also, as a notary public myself, I just love how he got this notarized. That garbled paragraph isn’t a mortgage, affidavit, deed, power of attorney, etc. Notarization is to prevent fraud, making paper tiger threats to your son’s school threatening to call the county sheriff doesn’t need the stamp to make you look dumb. We could gather that from reading the “letter”.


unnecessary notarization means you have to comply


Why the fuck are people so against using the fricking autocorrect.


That’s how bad they hate being told what to do.. *No paper clip is gonna tell me how to spell seragated!*


Autocorrect is for sheep. /s


He took the time to get it notarized but didn’t run spellcheck or do any editing at all first? What a dumbass


Dear Fuckers, Fuck you and your rules! I will sue everyone! Best wishes and warm regards.


The school was probably wondering why a sophomore had a third grader forge a note.


As a court services worker ... I ***LOVE*** these people. People who do things like this are shining beacons of fun in an otherwise tame afternoon.


I love the concept of trying to hand someone a repercussion. It would be like trying to hand someone a result, or an effect.


Yeah but the worst part is that kids still have to get up sleep deprived at an unreasonable and inhumane hour after a night of doing endless, useless makework and commute to a school to sit in a room full of other people to do a useless array of makework and things they’ll forget the next week when they could just as easily do all this so called “education” virtually from home. I don’t know why people are insisting on going back to an office cubicle anymore than going back to a classroom. It’s 2021. This is an intrusion on the lives of both children and working parents. The problem here isn’t masks, it’s a toxic, abusive system of wage slave training and social dysfunction.


From Pennsylvania and doesn’t mean shit lol! The Governor has a mask mandate. Fucking stupid anti-masker. Likely will find them on the Herman Cain Award forum in the near future.


So many of them are damn near illiterate. How the fuck do they manage to communicate any of their dumbass ideas to each other?


I absolutely love that he said “above said institution” then went ahead and listed the name anyway. Also “seragated” is an instant classic.


$10 says a Facebook group told him this would work.


If you read this letter with a redneck accent in your head, it all makes sense...


Ephrata isn’t redneck, it’s just stuck in the 1950s.


I'm from the area and most of the Ephratans I know are a few fries short of a cold Happy Meal.


Fucking guy had it notarized too? Lmao


At this point, my view is that the pandemic isn't fatal enough. I've just hit the wall with compassion fatigue. Republicans are doing everything in their power to prolong this, while doubling down on white supremacy and voting manipulation. So if some plague comes through and just guts these neofascist barbarians, it would almost be enough for me to believe in God. Anti-vaxers. They're not dying fast enough.




Comma’s, people, they really help in reading a long text.


Commas, line spacing, indents, paragraphs, really could have made this read a lot more official. A font that’s not Arial or whatever basic font that is.


Comic sans. That would made this letter Quite formal And elegant. None Of this Nonsense.


Fun fact, comic sans is most often the font younger education teachers use because it helps kids read the difference between hand written and printed font easier.


Hate to say it but . . . \*could’ve 🤓


Don't worry sir, we have not seragated your son. We have however segregated, isolated, and quarantined him.


Gotta love central PA 🙃


Should child services be called instead to get this kid away from this guy?


What's with the random capitalizations and incorrect use of lower cases?


It's gotta suck to have parents dumber than a fucking brick


What irritates me is he demands the kid be put with other kids. These people would have demanded a kid with AIDS be exiled if they were parents in the 80s


Maybe he was Seragated from his English class as a youth?


They should mark this up, grade it, and send it back home.


With this many flaws in spelling, punctuation, capitalisation, etc, it's hard to tell whether this is sovcit lunacy or just a really poor grasp of the language. I suspect in this case that it's both.


I grew up near there and this doesn't surprise me even a little, honestly...


Typed the school name 3 different ways. lol


I like how he’s claiming “harassment” because he’s being told his kid needs to wear a mask. It’s like what happened with me calling that company regarding their employee not wearing one at my place of work. These people are SO fucking fragile


Seragation is the scourge of our society.


You can tell it’s fake from just how it looks lol > As a rule, the top margin should be two inches and the bottom margin should be one inch. Most legal documents use 1.5 or double-spacing.