T O P

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Miss_Maggot

Choked when I read organism. But def agree


RedSonGamble

I like when she’s getting ducked real hard


AnalWartCheese

I like when she plays with her click


Gen-Z-Grandfather

Ducked until she has an organism


WHHHAAARRRGRARBL

You did it right lmfao


emanualinoverdrive

ducked…. by a duck?


mrzar97

My buddy at school told me once that his girlfriend can get organisms just from enol stipulations and playing in Naples **Edit:** I reached out to him. Had to leave a voicemail, hopefully it's not too personal, but I had a to ask... > "Exactly *how* does restricting or I guess more broadly just stipulating the availability/applications of reactive biochemical intermediary molecules arouse her?" Followed with > "I hope she's talking about Naples Italy. Like I can sorta understand that... but Naples Florida? I feel like there, my organisms would be repossessed under some archaic adultery law! *I'm genuinely curious to understand their fetishes more, we're definitely on that level as friends.* **Edit again:** Guys I'm **so** embarrassed... he called me back. Apparently, what he actually said was her organisms arrive following "anal stimulation" and "playing with her nipples" I just feel like I've made such a fool of myself /s ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


snacpac4I0

Seriously. Everybody knows it's "an organism".


Miss_Maggot

Bypassed that entirely. Organism by itself threw me off. Thank you, this entire thread has been a delight.


96933287275978

Went straight to the comments after I got stuck on organism.


[deleted]

Choked on an organism eh


Cold-Departure687

They don’t deserve the real word 😂


Teh_Weiner

> Choked when I read organism. Had a friend in high school who made every science class fun by getting *so* paranoid she would accidentally say "orgasm" whenever she read "organism", that she did. Almost every time.


melvinfosho

Did you at least make an exaggerated choking noise?


Miss_Maggot

Yep. Had a full blown organism.


Rx_Diva

Multiple organisms were had.


Hollz23

And that's how I got shigella


sexxxeducation

“You can bring a horse to organism usin yer finger! Can you believe that shit?!”


Miss_Maggot

Username checks out.


preztelbreak

Your username checks out


KarmaKaelyn

When I was in 5th grade we were learning about organisms. When I was telling my mom what we were learning I said orgasms. That was an embarrassing (for me) blunder on my part that she greatly enjoyed telling my teacher (who thought it was hilarious) about!


vercertorix

You think that’s funny. Try it when it goes the other way around and a girl in 6th grade biology keeps pronouncing organism as orgasm when reading aloud for the class, a word I’d heard before from older brothers and knew what it meant. I don’t know if I was the only one trying not to burst out laughing because if I’d had the attention to see someone else doing the same thing, I would have lost it.


McFeely_Smackup

My favorite is when the guy evacuates all over her face


tturuttatae

i hate when they put music in porn. im trying to bust a nut, not bust a move.


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lordatlas

Put video on mute, go to YouTube and play literally anything you want, return to video, have an organism.


[deleted]

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Rheabae

Why don't you come in for an interview at my bureau? We have a nice comfy black chair for you. It's just a one on one chat, I might have to have a video camera for some legal stuff but no biggie man. Let me know if you're interested


Lordborgman

Bustin makes me feel goood.


qualitycatwhisperer

Cum fly with me✈️💦


tturuttatae

that makes me imagine… imagine busting one to wonderland by ateez. you would have a seizure. 😭 (you should take a listen to it to get what i mean. but if kpop isnt your beat, thats valid. its 130 bpm and a major hype song.)


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neecho235

Oh. Is that what he meant by, "I did it my way?"


ThanosAsAPrincess

You can just run Spotify in another tab


icedragon71

More dedicated then i. Would bring up too many bad images and would find it hard to finish if someone started crooning "Start spreading the news......"


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exitonleft

When the music is better than the porn and you just want to listen to that instead.


Jay2612

Bust a move!


peachygatorade

ORGANISM


Cold-Departure687

𝙊𝙧𝙜𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢


Plastic-Acanthaceae9

organism


clever_-name

ORGANism


extrafinenoir

ORGASMism


gayXlord69

>!organism!<


NoxBrutalis

Or gun Is am?


homesicker

Organ is m?


Rollo0547

Or you can watch amateur. No music,exaggerated moans and no high quality videos.cant get anymore real than that


Cold-Departure687

So someone figured out my favorite category lmao


PubJeezy

hilarious because "amateur" isn't actually amateur. marketers destroyed that search term just like the kochs destroyed the tea party. they just produced content that looked like last generations rapes (casting couch) and that passed for "amateur". then came the "homemade" era. That search term worked for a while. And still sorta works. Except now the "home" might be a home paid for by production money and they're pros. So they've probably been taught to exaggerate their sounds and reactions...so its crap again lol. Basically if you wanna see porn that isn't 100% commercially produced and being jammed down your throat (especially when thats what you enjoy) you have to start organizing your search results by "most recent". I will not ever use a "best match" search result on any database. It allows the database owner to put whoever is paying them the most in front of you, when you organize by time, they can't lie. Time is the one variable that everyone on the internet has to agree is real. Good luck out there and happy jackin'.


Small_Orang

You gotta find something recorded in an iPhone 7 in 160p


addocd

No worries, you won't have to look very hard.


McleodV

Can't tell if that's a pixel or a nipple...


VikingBeardBro

Either way I'm rock hard


mulchroom

iphone 7 records in 1080p wtf?


IncreasingForehead

I was gonna say. Since when is the iPhone 7 considered a relic of the past? I had an iPhone 7 until last year man😭


Still_Day

I still have one! Are they THAT ancient??


AllModsAreHomo

>I will not ever use a "best match" search result on any database. It allows the database owner to put whoever is paying them the most in front of you Remember the shitshow when someone asked why the hell incest porn is pushed so heavily by PornHub when seemingly no one likes it?


Brushermans

i fucking hate incest porn so goddamn much


TK_Lax16

Same here. I don’t know anyone, or even remotely thought of, the possibility of having sex with “step siblings” or “step parents”. To me that’s fucked up and is a huge turn off to me


CEHRIH

No ones going to tell you if they like incest porn 🤣


Longjumping-Dog-2667

it’s all I watch.


TK_Lax16

Well it seems like lots of people do given how much “step bro, step sis, step mom, step dad, and others” porn is out there (specifically on the Hub).


chilldotexe

What shitshow?


raymond8505

You can usually tell from the production quality in The preview / thumbnail. Perfect lighting and over done makeup = fake amateur. Also the video title will tend to be more provocative for a fake one "college couple in dorm" vs "coed cream pied after class"


3-orange-whips

From what I remember reading from PH taking down all the non-verified stuff, a SIGNIFICANT amount of the "amateur" stuff was, in fact, revenge porn. So the low-quality content being described overall was mostly uploaded without someone's consent.


Castun

Well shit, way to fap-shame us I guess...


jasonology09

You're correct except for the no music part. There's always some shitty rap music going on in the background. Does every part of your life have to be a rap video?!


Remarkable-Ganache49

The loud television show in the background is so much worse because you can’t help but get distracted by trying to place the audio


Nox_Aeons

One of the first times I ever watched porn online it was a lady going down on her gentleman friend next to one of those really big old school TV's with Bill Nye the Science Guy on really loud. I just will never forget that because it was Bill doing the thing where he heats up a trashcan till its red hot then throws it in a cold swimming pool and it scrunches together in a little ball. It was awesome. I stopped watching the porn and looked up the full episode on Youtube instead


Remarkable-Ganache49

That’s definitely a win. BILL BILL BILL


VikingBeardBro

Science is sexy


RogueWanderingShadow

One of my favorite videos is a girl giving the guy with the camera a lap dance while listening to salsa and bachata. It's pretty good.


SuffererOfLove

I'd like to think there are *some* our there with decent music 🤷


Plastic-Acanthaceae9

*me who watches porn on silent so nobody else in the house hears it*: Yeah


Buffy_Geek

Headphones dude


OmgChimps

But then you can't hear when people are approaching, specifically roommates n such. Once had my friend open my door while trying to bust a nut because he left a bottle of whiskey on my desk and he wanted to get lit after his shift.


Buffy_Geek

One earphone in & one earphone out has served me well when walking near cars & also when listening to porn. Also when doing something sexual I always lock the door or block it the best I can to prevent suddenly unannounced entry.


williwas420

You jack off next to random cars?


kL2hGHMyqMsmcx9u

**Auto**erotic asphyxiation


CuddleMittens

I hate you take my upvote


ThanosAsAPrincess

Claymore mine


jondonbovi

Finally gets headphones.....goes back to putting it on silent.


Popular_Prescription

Accidentally connects blue tooth to living room sound bar instead of headphones* 👀


Plastic-Acanthaceae9

My main reason for that


watergod183

Never heard of jacking off with headphones before, but I could give it a shot. I'm open to anything. Last week, I did it with a stapler


Buffy_Geek

Just make sure they're clean.


Impossible-Sir-103

Not all porn. Some girls do ot well, while others just put to muchointo it. Then add the guys talking loud saying dumbshit, that ruins it for me


irmuhaj

> put to muchinto it I thought this was some spanish idiom or something


LudwigVanBaehoeven

That made me laugh really hard


Impossible-Sir-103

I should add and an O now just for that reason lmao


Cold-Departure687

I agree ! The guy usually talks way to much to the point it’s cringe . Some girls as well.


WasteApplication9

Yeah the worst are the ones where they reference the actual "plot" of whatever the video is during the actual sex. Like I can jack off to a stepsibling video, I just want to be able to fast forward through the exposition and get to the sexposition where I can ignore that fetish crap


CentralAdmin

>while others just put to muchointo it. For some women, you can never put to muchinto it.


Trashcan19079

See, as a woman I find it incredibly sexy to hear a guy moan during sex. So I literally listen to porn instead of watching it 😂😂


druidofnecro

Ah so you watch porn in podcast form


reddorical

Radio ploughed the video star


Indi328

that's why i love me some audio porn


gigglepickle

Yessir r/gonewildaudio is where it's at


stryka00

But then i’m not entirely sure if i’m just listening to ASMR of someone furiously stirring their mac n cheese…


MonocleOwensKey

Completely forgot about that sub. I think I stopped visiting when one of the popular creators got doxxed unfortunately


addocd

I'm right there with you. But the line between hot & cheesy/creepy/disturbing is very thin. I've heard some real ladyboner killers.


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isum21

Hopefully me They don't seem to think so tho lol


Fickle-Initiative-81

Ooh a self burn


KJE69

This is the way.


rhysdog1

post this opinion and see which one is more popular


Scaryassmanbear

I was watching a porn the other day and the chick said “thank you for fucking me”. And I was like yeah, I wish that just once someone would say thank you.


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Ratatoski

Well sex is teamwork so a high five after a good session isn't out of order.


HumCrab

I fucked once....had an organism. Raise it as my own.


irmuhaj

imagine a big ass sperm swimming around "papa?"


GingerSavage

I've had this image in my head for 40 goddamn minutes


MainSeparate2964

I haven't watched porn with sound, I don't think ever unless its accidentally. 100% prefer the silent


-SoulArtist-

Isn’t it all fake?


RaiderGage

Everything is fake, this is a simulation


CptMisery

Nothing is real and it's everywhere


PubJeezy

the meta-flanders has been awakened.


FBI_Agent_82

Stop telling people or we'll reset you again and put you in the worst place possible, Florida or Oklahoma's panhandle.


platysma_balls

Currently in Florida rn for a month for work. Minus the humidity and my AirBnB person catfishing the hell out of me, this state really isn't that bad. Solid hospital system.


bigt1238

If you go for Texas he’ll for sure be born.


copperstate123

Underrated comment.


Fitz-BrawlStars

LA without a house o_o


vociferousdragon

Hungry, for apples!


Chris_El_Deafo

Me, who’s deaf: I am 4 parallel universes ahead of you


UnusualTypeOfBoy

Man: looks at Woman Woman: ohhhhh yeah baby aaaaaaa


[deleted]

lmao her last name is woman


FilteringSubreddits

I don't watch as much porn as I used to, but the thing that kinda turned me off of porn, figuratively and literally, was the dirty talk. Like imagine watching two people make mashed potatoes and one of them is like "Yeah fuck yeah mash those potatoes you better mash those potatoes real good and get them all mashy." and the other person is like "yeah I'm mashing these potatoes I'm gonna mash the shit out of them, gonna mash them so hard they're gonna be mashed in the morning yeah you like when I mash these potatoes, don't you, you mashed potato slut" I'm aware I'm taking it to the logical extreme in terms of the worst dirty talk ever, but I don't need the sex narrated. A line here or there is fine but sometimes I just want to eat the fucking mashed potatoes.


Soupstheultimatefood

Porn moans are too high pitched from the little porn I’ve seen


bunkojones

I gave a girl an organism once. She flushed it down the toilet!


ArtCognoscente

She abort it?


Educational_Ad134

Ah yes, the standard “pornstar moan”, provided to almost all females when first getting into the industry


mafternoonshyamalan

A *"sargasm"*


Middleofthemaul

Also alerts your wife what is taking so long in the bathroom


FartHeadTony

> she’s moaning as if she already had a organism. I'm guessing you were that one kid in biological class


chickadee425

“Already had an orgasm” please, she’s probably not going to actually orgasm at all. Also organism lol


NoxBrutalis

This thread: yeah fake girl moan, eww. Male porn actor cumming: HHHHNNGGGOrrrqwlwljwehsefjbfsujhf fsjfhs arrrrghhhhttttfgggghhhh! ffuuuuucck grrrrrrr! lmao


SokratisJ

No doubt. I do not want to risk busting a nut to some guy moaning


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lukesamus99

You mean all these years of hiding in fear have been for nothing??


afterIife101

Bisexuals: this is where the fun begins


Bad_RabbitS

I hate when the dude starts talking. I don’t want to hear a sweaty bald dude groan about his love of ass, shut up guy


Arctelis

There’s a Letterkenny skit about fake porn sounds, and it’s hilarious.


AKVigilante

Aww fuck


Arctelis

Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes yeeeeeaaaassssss. There’s a little pepper on the end of it, ya gotta out a little pepper on the end of it.


Cold-Departure687

This I need to see


yellowjacket98

[I gotcha bud ](https://youtu.be/Srobmy7ceTY)


Cold-Departure687

Thank you !!!


IGuessThisIsFine91

Organism


Boatfixer2

Totally agree. Just not the organism thing...


Human_Ad5518

Let me take a wild guess.. You started watching porn on silent not to get caught


TheCreativeRaven

Any porn where the guy speaks at all is trash. Like stfu bro I ain’t beating my meat to you


Aced_By_Chasey

IM NOT GAY BEGONE MALE IN PORN


Suzesaur

No, but some of us trying to flick our beans to that


Htimsxnhoj

Especially guy POV ones, where it's clearly targeted at male viewers who don't want to see the guy's face. What makes them think having another dude in the video makes the video better? As an almost exclusively POV viewer, I always hate it when the thumbnail is perfect, but when I play the video the guy is talking non stop.


burnthesandwich

Oh and my favorite, "Hsssss... aaahhh... hsssss... aaahhh... hsssss... aaahhh... hsssss... aaahhh... hsssss... aaahhh..." louder than you can hear the woman


[deleted]

I'm having PTSD flashbacks practically lmao I hate that so much.


FMAB-EarthBender

It's a woman that posted this, and some women are looking for the guy part lmao. I personally am bi but I hate straight porn. It's usually a turn off. I like wlw ones much better. Not usually violent rape happening or mixed in with the main ones when you search.


3mthreat

Smh I hate the organism parts too


bruhfin_

I also have an organism when someone touches my shoulder


TheMongerOfFishes

Not going to lie, I think I've just realized I've been doing it wrong this whole time because once in my life I've never had an organism.


CertainPanda469

I seriously agree! Loll I've alwaysss left the video on silent when I watch em.. I've ALWAYS found it sooo cringy.


Adeum1

You’re watching the wrong porn


mummy__napkin

disagree. i like hearing the girls moan and scream (even if they are faking it, don't care), i like hearing the dirty talk, and i like hearing the sex sounds. but to each their own.


applebott

Bad porn is better on silent.


[deleted]

Music? What decade is this? I agree though. The fake noises are just too much and if the guy makes any noise at all, I instantly feel gross. I don't want a noisy guy. He's a stand in for me. Breaks immersion.


imseriouslykyle

I actually prefer to listen to porn rather than watch it. And if you’re worried about it sounding bad just watch some home made videos. None of that production team stuff.


the_green_grundle

Very unpopular opinion: Porn is weird


Chafrador

I watch porn for the plot. I really wanna know how the girl got stuck in that dryer.


DeJuanBallard

Stop watching professionally made porn, it's always sucked.


[deleted]

Yeah, just masturbate in a closet while watching real people have sex. Like porn simulates. Porn is gross. All of it is nasty. It's addictive but trash. When you really think about what it is.. yikes. Heeby Jeebees.


Nail_Biterr

On mute, nobody in a porno is related to one another (.... or they all are, if you're into that)


Archive_Intern

Yeah Nowadays i just watch Amateur porn Less fake And you could tell they enjoy it The downside is you get sad after nutting because it made you realize how lonely you are.


BhutanDoesNotExist

Amateur porn, OF, n shit is better than professional porn tbh not with those cringe moans. Plus if u like silence I recommend using RedGifs most of the vids on there are silent.


rigzman187

this actually smart af


ceebo625

Nah. You've only conditioned yourself to thinking that because you keep losing your headphones.


plumberbabu666

I hate the enunciation of every step while fucking. "I m going to rip you apart" never once did i see that happen smh.


Shrektical666

Yep agree..


departedgardens

That’s what I do.


jhnadm

I disagree have you seen porno back in the days the acting is on point and people talk probably the porno silent was needed because when we're about to cum we don't need the guys voice.


drillerboy

Yes


Heartfroggix

Depends what genre tbh or if its homemade or not, homemade generally is better to me


S1ayer

I havent seen porn with music since cable in in the 90's


westcoastcharkbites

F yeah I pretty much only watch porn on silent


dynamic424

Somebody who agrees.


Limulemur

I mute it 99% of the time. I have a hard time imagining how the cringey moans can be a turn on, except for Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.


mixedmale

Music on the background? You still watch porn from the early 2000's?


killabyle

I don’t like fake moaning or fake boobs, so I stick to amateur.


KidCaker

If there’s music in the background you’re watching the wrong porn


Miliaa

Omg I always thought it was just me


TheGreatNate3000

Are you...watching porn from the 80's? What present day porn has background music?


jfkolbe

Your watching the wrong porn, bro.


Dogecoin_olympiad767

Agree but when there is good audio, that shit is all I need. Don’t even need the fucking video. Too bad it’s so rare


-bonesofthewild-

You're just watching mainstream porn.


dark_harness

you have poor taste in porn, my friend.


AnanananasBanananas

How often do they even have music in porn nowadays?


VolkorPussCrusher69

Just watch better porn lol


ArmStoragePlus

You can try going for JAV produced by Caribbeancom, 1Pondo, Heyzo and 10Musume, while those require a monthly subscription, they usually have no background music interrupting the scenes. Alternatively, for indie studios and amateur actors, there is FC2 for independent publishers, and those often have no background music as well, although quality varies.


Th3_Accountant

I do admit that a bad choice of music or exaggerated fake moaning will ruin a porno for me. But if it's a good, authentic porno the soft moaning or calm music can actually be a nice enhancement of the experience.


SauveDav

Is bad enough to watch the terrible acting, even worse when you hear it.