T O P
  • By - stivl

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Auctoritate

Bones are their money


Shrmpz

Bones = dollars


Funmachine

They pull your hair up, but not out!


[deleted]

They've never seen as much food as this! Underground there's like half as much food as this!


TheValet86

Cash for bones!


justclay

And sooo are the worrrmmsss


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Carnivorous_Ape_

I haven't laughed that hard in a long ass time!


SlappyPappyOnXbox

It’s 4 am and this is the angriest and funniest upvote I’ve ever given. The presentation as sheer fact has me rolling.


xineirea

LOL at the award


SliverSerfer

Tree pod, that's how I wanna go. Grow me into a big oak tree, cut me down, make a barrel out of me and fill me with bourbon for 15yrs!


Level37Doggo

I like the option where they use your ashes to make coral habitat to help grow reefs, but being a whiskey barrel sounds pretty cool too.


_ENDR_

Unfortunately, a lot of people are misguided on the benefits of spreading ashes. Your ashes are essentially a collection of metal dust. The best nutrients in your body is the carbon, water, and nitrogen. During combustion, your carbon binds to oxygen to create CO2 and your water and nitrogen boil into gas. They are released into the atmosphere so they will still help (excep for the CO2. That's humanity's biggest problem right now.) But they have to return to the soil/water through time-consuming processes. The leftover calcium, iron, magnesium, and whatever other metals isn't going to help the reefs much because they only need small amounts of it just like you (that's why when you burn things the ash pile is so much smaller. Most of what makes up organic material is turned into gas).


burritosavior

Right, wood chipper it is then.


PM_ME_UR_GRUNDLE

*somber squelchy wood-chipper noises*


Molto_Ritardando

The secret is to freeze the body first.


Black_Floyd47

Well if you keep telling people, it won't be a secret.


Juicebeetiling

New serial killer meta incoming


ohtrueyeahnah

So... that's a no to the yogurt in the anus then?


Agrifolia

If they freeze your corpse they can just vibrate it until it shatters and then compost or flush the thawed goo. Read about it in a wired article I think


Snoo63

I remember reading something like "naughty astronauts get put into the corpse wiggler."


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XEQshun

Awhhh, angry upvote.


syro23

but have you ever even tried freezing it after?


mtrayno1

Mmmmm, mommy my Aunt Sarah snow cone tastes like liver.


LilDeafy

*somber clackety wood-chipper noises*


Slane__

I've been telling this to my family for years. Mulch me. If I know a cannibal, they could have a steak. Otherwise, mulch me. I wanna be an Ent.


fuck_you_and_fuck_U2

Or an entrée?


kayisforcookie

Is there any habitat that would benefit from our ashes? I mean, I'm cool with some one just making my ashes into some art or jewelry or whatever. Oooo, could I be made into a multivitamin and given to my great great grandchildren. Maybe I can haunt them easier that way. Mwahahahahaha


11fingersinmydogsbum

Are there any downsides to becoming a bog body?


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11fingersinmydogsbum

You guys, stop, I am getting way too excited to cark it.


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_ENDR_

Some? A lot of the most well preserved ancient bodies have been naturally preserved by bogs. It's not garunteed to be the right conditions for that but if you want to return your nutrients to the Earth in specifically a bog you probably want to go for one with some scavengers to speed along the decay process like frogs, fish, birds, and bugs.


goathill

Nah, I want to be the next tollund man for (hopefully) folks in the year 4500. What a legacy


DependentPipe_1

Haha, get a load of this guy thinking humans won't have killed ourselves off by the year 4500!


_ENDR_

Also important! We have learned loads about historic humans through remains that were preserved. I just don't like that formaldehyde is the norm right now because some cultures are taking more nutrients than giving back. I'm not aboriginal but the Native American's way of life, always give back as much as you take, is what really speaks to me.


11fingersinmydogsbum

Oh hell yeah, will do x


Vegetable_Hamster732

Probably better environmentally to be re-inserted somewhere higher in the food chain, instead of having go to back to ash/mineral waste as fertilizer. Tibetan [Sky_burial](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sky_burial) sounds pretty awesome. When I was little I thought I wanted to be fed to Komodo dragons or similar. Or being turned into pig food would have some poetic karma to make up for all the bacon I ate.


Obi_Sirius

Exactly. Part me out and mulch what's left.


GarbageAndBeer

Sounds like a country song.


SpikySheep

Just to clarify the chemistry a bit. You don't have elemental nitrogen inside you to any great degree. There's a little from your breath but that's it. The nitrogen inside you is bound up in proteins and other complex chemicals. You also don't have pure metals inside you. There are metal atoms but they are mostly at the heart of larger complex molecules. The one metal you have a decent amount of is calcium in your bones but your bones aren't pure calcium. When you are incinerated the metals are left as metal oxides for the most part, effectively they are burnt.


kazaru7

This is why I want to be thrown in a body farm, just decompose the old fashioned way


Geberpte

So soilent green is the way to go then.


Mauripeke25

what he is talking about is a company that mixes your ashes into concrete and then build a reef habitat. here is a video that explains it better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgAYhwluHOs


_ENDR_

Oooooh, that's cool. Thanks for sharing but kinda odd though considering durable concrete needs river sand which [destroys riverbeds](https://e360.yale.edu/features/the-hidden-environmental-toll-of-mining-the-worlds-sand). Why would you destroy one habitat to save another?


SwirlySauce

I want to be shot into the sun by cannon.


Spinningthruspace

Then your frozen space corpse would just orbit the sun for all eternity. Which is also kinda cool but let’s not make a habit outta it


Marvheemeyer85

We'll call it space burial


smallfried

Surprisingly, it costs less energy to shoot you out of the solar system than into the sun.


sackoftrees

If you haven't watched asked a mortician on YouTube she has shown and talked about a lot of different alternatives for your body after death, some not currently legal. I like the composting of bodies or the mixing of ashes with bird seed. Regardless, I think we take up too much space with our deceased bodies and the funeral industry costs way too much.


smallwaistbisexual

I read her book. Does she say what’s the most environmentally friendly way?


d0nu7

I mean, realistically the most environmentally friendly way would be to just dump your body way out in nature and let the scavengers eat you and then the insects and bacteria finish the rest. That’s how every other animal dies and how nature takes care of it.


smallwaistbisexual

Well duh yet that’s illegal.


phurt77

I'm getting made into a diamond and my heirs will be forced to wear me.


my_4_cents

Shrunken head, and the major heir is forced to wear you on a necklace if they want to keep the mansion


Level37Doggo

And your heirs have to solve all the puzzles by daybreak, with only the cryptic clues your haunted head speaks to them.


blankwillow_

Nah, you'll be sold at a Pawn Shop for $100 while they complain about overhead, paying the staff, and how long it will sit there. Mind if I call in an expert?


Carnivorous_Ape_

I was just about to say this! What if my flesh bore fruit? Like mangos orrrr apples! Then my grandchildren can come eat grandpa!


ewpqfj

It would be a nice thought if you phrased it in any other way.


Try_Me_With_Syrup

I spit out my tea


jedimastermomma

If graves are protected and you're a tree, wouldn't that make the tree a grave and thus protected? A tree you can't cut down? I've always loved the thought of a graveyard but it's full of rows of trees with plaques so it's more like an actual garden. 😌


newmexicomurky

This should be a thing.


ResearcherThin6951

We basically have this. I live next to a cemetery this is actually just a woodland and you get buried without a box and a sapling is placed on top. I've heard you can also get your body turned into an artificial foundation for q coral reef which sounds amazing x


Sojournancy

Only thing that sucks is when there’s a storm that rips trees down and then you’ve got skeletons visibly clinging to roots. It happened here once that I know of.


bretstrings

Bad thing? That is badass. I want to be a root skelly when I grow dead


Bufford_T_Justice

Make mine a pecan tree and everyone can eat my nuts


Diaperlover1995

Or just compress the carbon from the ashes to make a diamond


NutellaShapedHeart

My mom always wanted to be buried but over time decided cremation was the way to go. I told her that there are companies that can press her ashes into a diamond and I would absolutely get it set into a piece of jewellery and wear it. She loved the idea. "I love your ring!" "Thanks! It's my mother!" "Don't you mean it was your mother's?" "No :)"


AWildEnglishman

And then as more of your family die you can add more rings and be morbid Thanos.


spongebobs_spatula

I really like where your head is at. That’s brilliant.


Accountantnotbot

Companies do that. They are blue.


BulliesRPeople2

"Hey it's cold out, wanna chop down that tree and burn it?"


nrith

“Hey, walk me over to that tree. I gotta take a leak.”


horny_zombie

Now I really want to be a tree!!


Carnivorous_Ape_

That checks out


leaklikeasiv

*not again*


jasu4321

Honestly this would be cool but I wonder if the tree itself is protected from being cut down so that a neighborhood can be built. I’m sure there’s some protection in the early stages as homes probably won’t be built on top of dead bodies but 10-20 years from then where the body is decomposed might be a gray area


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BeBa420

i would rather just have someone grow weed plants on top of me and have my friends meet up every year on the anniversary of my birth (or death... or just whenevers convenient for all my bros) and have em all smoketh of the weed and remember me. ​ That would be nice


roseyd317

Annual cremation


anonoman925

My luck I end up a few rolls of Charmin


MightHaveMisreadThat

I'll fill you with bourbon right now, big boy


Slntrob

Plant a walnut tree on top of me so people can eat my nuts forever.


Sk-yline1

Same! My parents think I’m nuts, but I want a guaranteed afterlife, and being a tree will give me that


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leicequeen

Yes that’s exactly what we want.


Jumbo_Damn_Pride

Something tells me you’ve been full of bourbon for a long time already


SharpCookie232

I agree with you in theory, but where I am (metro Boston), the old graveyards are some of the most beautiful open spaces we have. I love walking through them. If you re-zoned them, we'd just end up with more condos, CVSes, and Dunkin Donuts.


wayward_citizen

It can be very cathartic to have a physical place that's quiet and well-maintained to process grief and loss of a loved one. There's no other "point" to a graveyard but to go there and remember someone, which is kind of a remarkable thing considering how much of our society revolves around the need for everything to "justify" its existence through profit or tangible, explicit purpose. Graveyards *are* highly inefficient, and that's sort of what makes them so special and human. I do agree though that we could save space by cremating people prior to internment, similar to places in Japan.


chronicly_retarded

But graveyards are "justified" by profit. Funerals are very expensive. Not sure if emptying my wallet would make me feel better after my loved ones die.


Ayle87

I don't wanna be buried but I live next to a cemetery and it rocks, lots of parking and trees and a calm atmosphere. I much prefer my dead neighbors to my living ones, they are quiet and never complain for anything.


FooluvaTook

I’m in a small town in New Jersey. We have a beautiful cemetery in town that’s been around since the time of the Revolution. It’s very peaceful. I’ve always wanted to leave flowers on those ancient old graves. I’d be very sad to see it go. We don’t need another pharmacy lol. The grave yards in Boston must be so historic.


AlcindorTheButcher

There's a neat bar in Boston called the Beantown Pub which is located directly across the street from a small cemetery by the capitol building. Their slogan is that it's the only place in the world where you can drink a cold Sam Adams (beer) while looking out at a cold Sam Adams (buried across the street).


standuptj

That place has the cheapest, but still quality lobster roll I’ve ever found too. Like $12 for a massive, stuffed sandwich. I ate 2 of them in one sitting, lol.


1-800-DO-IT-NICE

It's not the most amazing place in the world but have a Google at St George's Fields in Leeds (UK). It's a graveyard that has been converted to a park and during the summer it's a really nice place to chill.


ChIck3n115

On road trips I'll often pull of at tiny old country cemeteries. It's interesting to walk around them, usually well maintained, and peaceful. I am a birdwatcher, and cemeteries are often quite good birding spots as well.


ThrowRAfuckthisnoise

Ayy they’re usually a good spot to find rare plants too because the soil was likely never turned over for agriculture.


Proper-Gazelle

I notice a lot of the people on the anti-cemetery side in the comments are talking about what they'd want for their own bodies after they die. I used to feel like that... I don't really care what happens to my body after I die... I'm not using it anymore. So it was easier for me to have opinions like cemeteries being a waste of space, not wanting my family to spend the money, etc. Then my son died when he was 3 years old, and I buried him. I'm not religious at all, so I just did what I felt like I needed to do at that time and that was what felt right to me. It's such a personal thing... everyone is different, but it would have been really hard for me to have his body cremated. The cemetery where he's buried is really beautiful and I visit often. I'm grateful to have this place where I can go to be alone and think about him. So my opinion now with respect to my own body is that if there are people who will grieve when I die, they can do whatever they feel like they need to do with my body.


mrjake118

My cousin died young and we just *couldn't* get his mother to leave the cemetery after the funeral. She couldn't leave her boy alone. Today, my father's buried in the same spot and many other family members. For us, it's a nice way to "see" everyone again and reminisce. For the future, it's like a little brief story of past lives. If we've done nothing else on earth worth remembering generations down, theres still one piece of stone chosen by us or our family that says, "I was here, this is who I am."


Robotchickjenn

I had my daughter cremated for this reason. I wanted her inside, with me, where it's warm and safe. She was an infant. There's no right way to deal with that. It's just forever gut wrenching.


mrjake118

I feel that. As a father of two young ones I can't even imagine how you keep going after that. I mean, you do, but there's no easier way.


Robotchickjenn

The only thing I know is consistent: there is no wail like that of a mother that has lost her baby. None.


mrjake118

Man, it's too early in the morning for this kind of misery. Best wishes to you and yours.


Robotchickjenn

It's not misery to me anymore. She is a light. And I have a son and one on the way!


Jorkies

I'm sorry for your loss, but congratulations on your son, along with your new baby on the way! (: You sound like a wonderful mother, and I'm glad you were able to find happiness once more. <3


pinkybinkybonky

"She couldn't leave her boy alone" has me straight up crying right now. I'm a mom of 2 and that's exactly how I would be if one of my children died.


uid_zero

My grandparents are buried in a small cemetery out in the country. When my father passed, he wanted to be cremated, so he was. About a year later, his brothers got together and bought a memorial headstone that was placed near my grandparents plot. I agree with being cremated, because there's no need for my body to sit around wasting space. But having a spot to go and remember him is nice. Damn it, who's cutting onions at this hour?


Mastastretch

This is the best perspective on this topic I have ever read in my life. Thank you. You changed my opinion completely. Let loved ones do what they need.


AuntySocialite

I’m so very sorry. I’m firmly of the belief that funerals are for the living. A dear friend’s partner of 40 years has terminal cancer, and is INSISTING on no ceremony, no funeral, or even a memorial. While I respect his wishes, it takes no account of what his grieving partner may need to heal.


fuggedaboudid

One of my best friends just died of cancer at 30 Years old. He told no one he had cancer. He knew he was going to die for over a year and told no one. His wishes were to remain private about it and no ceremony or memorial. So here we all are, his best friends for 20 years sitting around just wishing we could have said bye or just been there to support him even just once. I get it’s a highly personal decision to tell people and to memorialize and why should anyone care about the Living’s wishes, if he’s the one who’s dead BUT selfishly speaking we all now have to live with his death and grieve it daily knowing we would have loved to say bye and give him one last hug or been there at anytime to hear his pain and be an ear for him, go somewhere to memorialize him. It just feels so empty such a void like did it happen? It feels like it didn’t happen; no one knew about it then he was just gone and no one had a place to gather and visit and talk. Selfish on our part for wanting this. Selfish on his part for not giving us this. No good outcome of any situation.


Mrs_Hhhhh

Man, this really sucks. I think you guys should do something to memorialize him. Plant a tree or something. Pick a spot and go back and visit it on his birthday each year. I respect that he handled things the way he did. But he is gone now and it’s ok for you all to process that and support each other in whatever way brings you peace


lord_geryon

Man died the way he wanted, without fuss. He's not around anymore to complain if you want to memorialize his death every year. Neither side needs the other's permission here. Your buddy did as he would, you do as you would.


Agentsinger

I am so sorry for your loss. No parent should have to burry their child. I watched my dad go through it with my brother and I would not wish that pain on anyone. I hope time softens the jagged edges of your pain.


nitpickingrejection

This is the best answer. Funerals, and burials are all for the living, not the dead. The dead don’t know, and don’t care. If a person had a specific request, then it comforts the living to honor that request. I really like old cemeteries as well. There are beautiful ones all over. New Orleans has several. The area I live in has a few. All of the cemeteries I know of are actually very park like. There was a time in US history when people would meet and socialize in cemeteries. Most people are very uncomfortable about anything to about death, specifically their own. Going to a cemetery makes them confront the fact that some day they will be there too. Also, some people bury their ashes. One thing I have thought about is, when archeologists find peoples remains someday, the will think that the two silicon balls sitting on so many people’s chest have some kind of religious, meaning.


SilverCat70

I'm sorry for your loss. My Dad passed away and we had him cremated. My 8 year old nephew was very close to my Dad and his death hit him hard. Dad's urn came in a beautiful blue velvet like box. I let my nephew see the urn when we brought it home. Explained that his Granddot was now in a different form, but could still hear anything he wanted to say. It did help him in his grieving process. He treated the urn in the blue box exactly like he treated his Granddot. Tell him about his day at school, talk about random things, give the blue box goodnight kisses, etc. Eventually his grief got less and those things gradually faded. However, even today at 18, he still will give a small pat to the blue box ever so often. I think whatever is decided is something that should be the best for all the family members. I lost my grandfather who helped raise me about 3 weeks after my 9th birthday and had a lot of trauma related to his death. My parents were given really bad advice that children were resilient and able to get over a loss of a loved one quickly. So, yeah... I made sure my nephew didn't have the same.


Nursewursey

Cemeteries are actually very relaxing and peaceful places to walk... much more quiet than a park, with beautiful statues and memorials to loved ones...


BiguilitoZambunha

Depending on your country... We don't know what cemeteries in OP's country look like.


W1derfire

Let's be honest, given the free space, they'd all be turned into condos. I do agree that there are better things to do with the space, but that's for a utopian reality we don't live in. *The amount of upvotes this post has gotten has led me to believe this isn't an unpopular opinion to begin with...*


Partypoopin3

Plot twist he's a developer


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Broseph_Stalin357

Completely disagree They're not just a place to put the dead, my local cemetery is an excellent dog park, place to hike or just a peaceful place to get away from the living in very urban area's


Natscobaj

While I agree with you for the most part, and things like cemeteries *would* make great public spaces, I'd wager the vast majority of towns would still make it a commercial area. For example, I'd bet my left nut that my home town would put up another fucking hotel on every cemetery, given the chance. So you've got a great practice, in theory, I just don't think the money hungry world we live in would use that space to improve anything but their wallet size. Not all towns/cities, but I stand by the majority As a side note, being buried is a scam anyway. Most all of those caskets break once buried. And even if they make it past the dirt being tamped down they still disentigrate and are destroyed shortly after. The whole burial thing is about nothing but money, anymore Edit: yes, I understand a select few like hanging out in cemeteries. My partner and I are a few of those people. I'm just saying *in general* most people don't like chillin' in cemeteries


trowzerss

Yep, so many places would have zero green space if not for cemeteries. It's the only thing that's stopping developers chopping down the trees and putting in high density housing :P That said, I do go for a stroll in the local cemetery every now and again. It's a big one, and lots of old graves (for Australia, anyway) and as there are no recent graves in most sections you're not disrupting people. I see quite a few joggers and strollers in there most days.


AiSard

I remember walking through a Chinese cemetery, the kind that looks like rolling hills that takes up way more space per plot, and was kinda weirded out by the joggers and the *outdoors gym*. I guess for people without easy access to parks or greenery, you just make do huh.


trowzerss

The dead people don't mind. It's not like you're going to wake them up! But I'm always mindful if anyone looks like actual mourners to give them their own space.


blue-mooner

San Francisco outlawed cemeteries more than 100 years ago, exhumed all the bodies and [moved them to Colma](https://www.sfweekly.com/news/feature/a-grave-undertaking/). [Colma](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colma,_California) is a necropolis with 1,800 living residents and 1.5 million graves. The official city motto is: “It's great to be alive in Colma”. The old graveyards of San Francisco have become the grounds for city hall (Yerba Buena Cemetery), the University of San Francisco (Masonic Cemetery) and a number of parks including Dolores Park (Jewish Cemetery) and Buena Vista Park. Buena Vista is particularly noteworthy because while the bodies moved to Colma, not all of the tombstones did. You can walk through Buena Vista park today and find [old tombstones lining the gutters](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/buena-vista-park-tombstones).


Ill-Profit-5132

Shout out to Colma, that's hilarious


Rick_the_Rose

So San Fran made it someone else’s problem?


IntMainVoidGang

What else is new


[deleted]

Cemeteries are great public spaces, it's like a park for Goths.


trezenx

Just like great parks, no remarks. In one of my country’s biggest city’s there’s an old Polish graveyard where you can see tombstones and crypts from like 1500, so they ‘closed’ it as a cemetery and turned it into sort of a park. As in, it’s still a cemetery, but it’s so old no one goes there to mourn the dead, and the architecture is so beautiful you can just walk around and look at these cool crypts. And it’s not a flat field with rows after rows of identical tombstones, it’s a hill that almost has a full grown forest now, so there’s these big alleys and streets inside of it. It’s a really great place to have a walk — it’s silent and people tend to show more restrain and respect there — they don’t litter, don’t take their kids and dogs there, don’t drink etc. It’s one of my favourite places in the whole country.


rightsidedown

Cremation is standard in Japan but they still have grave yards there. How you handle the body isn't going to change the demand for graveyards. They are there for the living to have a place to remember the dead.


stack413

I really like how Japan handles its dead. The cemeteries are nice and focused on providing a compact memorial space, and the tradition of having a family alter at home dedicated to passed loved ones is lovely.


Fuzzy_Dunlop24

Cemeteries are really peaceful places for walks and runs and we see deer and other wildlife. There are also moments when I see a headstone that is 80+ years old and does not seem to be cared for any longer, or both spouse’s names are on it and I wonder if there are any of the later generations that are still connected to them…it gives me pause and a sense of my own mortality and our place in the universal timeline. I rarely feel the need to rush home and attend to the awaiting work emails and other trivial priorities we force upon ourselves. I guess they provide me with an opportunity to reflect and keep a perspective on life.


schmon

I'll definitely stroll through a cemetery but no way will I jog there, just imagine a grieving family crossing a sweaty dude


MsstatePSH

not sure the residents care. And I like to think that the families can appreciate the area being utilized in a respectful manner, as if they're keeping the dead company while their families are elsewhere.


Purposeful_traveler

Not something I've thought about before, but you make a good point. About the only counter argument I can think of is that people want to be able to visit the gravesites of their loved ones and pay respects. I wanna be cremated anyway though.


heavy_bender

The way you do it in Hong Kong is a mix in-between. Since there's hardly any space in the city to begin with, traditional graveyards are pretty much out of the question even tho they do exist albeit very very few. You get cremated and the urn is placed on a shelf essentially next to thousands of others. Kinda like a vertical graveyard


Apeswald_Mosley

I mean I just don't see why graveyards in particular seem to bother you, if you compare the land used in graveyard to the sheer volume of underdeveloped or otherwise disused land its a drop in the ocean, plus the climate factor of burning stuff is unattractive. People should be able to have spaces to pay respects to the dead, mostly for their own mental wellbeing, it harms no one. I personally find the societal movement towards this aggressively utilitarian outlook to be cold and unfeeling in a society that desperately needs more kindness. Just let people live and die how they want, do no harm and don't impose on others.


[deleted]

I agree. People tend to focus on the aspect of utility (economic) but forget death (funeral + burial + memorial) also has a cultural and emotional purpose. The focus is not so much on the dead person but for those left behind. Cemeteries bring a form of closure and ritual for remembering our loved ones. Why take that away from those who are grieving? People often see the value of something by its cost and not for what it means to the beholder.


pietroetin

Not to mention that some of the burial rituals are one of the most interesting aspect of a culture like the egyptians mumificating their deceased, the greeks putting two coins on the eye for the chiron or the vikings sending a little ship on the water and setting it on fire with a flaming arrow (altough the last one might be just a myth). You can learn a lot about a culture by how they are saying goodbyes to their dead ones.


calmyourtitspls

Couldn't have said this better myself. Burying bodies may take up a little land, but it's certainly better for the environment than burning bodies.


jeremyjack3333

Fuck that. If you want to buy the property, it's yours. The idea that graveyards would turn into some utopian perfect landscape of parks and public space doesn't make sense. It would probably end up being a McDonald's, Walmart, or parking lot with a shitty mini mall development.


PixelVox247

I literally do not care if I’m placed in a cardboard box and thrown off a cliff. What the fuck am I gonna need my dead body for Edit: for clarification to those who think this is disrespectful to my loved ones or somehow selfish. I’m not saying that I should be disposed of in such a manner, merely that I don’t need anything fancy. I’d happily donate my organs and body for medical purposes or science too. I simply don’t give a shit about what’s done with me cause I won’t be there to see it.


Minimum_Oil_1476

I agree, but if someone offered to build the great pyramid of Gizza part two for me I think I would accept.


BoringUsername_69

*Giza


RooneyBallooney6000

You’re thinking of the one in Egypt. We’re talking Gizza, Wisconsin


BoringUsername_69

Oh my bad


mossybeard

*Pizza


OrchidCareful

When I die just throw me in the trash


BrigadierGeneral96

Agree to disagree, I think if folks want a natural burial let them. Fwi I want one and a tree to be planted with me.


mikenzeejai

I dont think letting people practice a death ritual and have a physical place to represent their loss is necessarily a waste. It may not be practical but it certainly isn't a waste


cannibalrabies

I don't see an issue with burying people who want that but I don't understand why pumping them full of chemicals and putting them in fancy boxes is necessary. Corpses don't need to look pretty, they're dead, who are they supposed to impress down there? No amount of formaldehyde and makeup will stop them from rotting, trying to resist the natural order of things is an exercise in futility.


saraseitor

In my country it is customary to bury our dead pretty much the following day after they died. If you die in the afternoon you're having your funeral at evening and you're buried in the morning. There's no time (or need) to do much more complex stuff than closing their eyes and mouth.


AWildEnglishman

You don't even rummage through their pockets for cash?


Wanderson90

Last one to keep their hand on the coffin wins the pocket contents.


starlitstacey

The embalming is done to preserve the body for a funeral. If they didn't embalm, you'd have to have a funeral within a couple days of death and that's not always possible.


ToTheMoonPickens

3k for a fucking box? Bury me raw and go have a big ass party with that money.


Unusual_Form3267

Cemeteries and funeral services are disgusting. My mom just died and I sat through 3 hours of them going over expenses. It’s an extra $1500 to be buried on weekends. It’s an extra $300 if the family wants to wait until the box is lowered. It’s horrific.


ToTheMoonPickens

It’s fucked up man. My condolences for your loss.


ateafrogonce

My uncle was a good example of why embalming might be useful! He traveled a lot for work, all across the US and into Canada. Many of the people he helped turned into lifelong friends and considered him family. Towards the end stages of cancer he moved 2000 miles to be back home with his close family and for end of life support. We knew that people would need to arrange flights, hotels, car rides/rentals, as well as ask off of work and other stuff. He wanted a viewing so certain people could have closure or for some with religious ties. So upon his death we had him embalmed and the funeral was almost a full week later. It wouldn't be my choice but it's what he wanted and we did our best to comply with his wishes. Sometimes it's not looking pretty for forever, just to slow decay for a few more days.


mtron32

I agree with this, I’ve never liked open casket funerals, the whole practice is bizarre. They never look lifelike, especially after cancer.


I3uLLioN

Graveyards are some of the nicest parks and public spaces...


royalpain2

Here we go with this again. This shows up at least monthly and considering the cremation rate in a lot of states in the US is over 50% it’s certainly not unpopular with the majority. Green burial when done properly releases much less carbon. But sometimes this platform is like ordering a a menu item from Taco Bell. The same 5 ingredients prepared in a slightly different way.


yoursleepydarling

You can go to the cemetery and have a nice picnic. When I go to them for a nice long walk I see others doing their runs and walking their dogs. I think people are too scared to go to them because of all the dead bodies but are perfectly fine swimming at the beach like the water isnt filled with dead or decaying humans and animals.


lilpuzz

I don’t think they’re scared of them so much as respecting the spaces. I wouldn’t want cemeteries to turn into public parks, where people litter and run around and break things. It should be a solemn place


sunpies33

Not filled with dead or decaying humans... LIKE IT SHOULD BE.


Gugooguss

False. They should be turned into compost for my beets


Darthstarkiller12

Eh, some religious practices or personal beliefs constitute a burial though, we wouldn’t have the pyramids in Giza or the terra-cotta warriors without them. Hell, we wouldn’t have half the stories we do today without a body present. And what about the ashes? Some people want to be in a mausoleum as ashes. Graveyards are a necessary thing to help grieving people feel better about where the physical body is, reasonable or not.


[deleted]

Graveyards are parks, spend some time in one just be respectful


shesavillain

Unless your a victim of murder. Given how many times people have been dug up and have new evidence found is interesting.


Hypnomethyon

As a cemetery enthusiast who spends a good bit of her time cataloguing graves, I believe a massive "shut up" is in order here


akashayatet

I don't think cremation is a better option given how toxic and energy intensive the process is. Just bury under a tree and let nature do its thing.


BottledWafer

This is my concern too. Burning takes energy and results to waste. I'm also for simplifying the process, burying under a tree, without casket or anything, but right now most areas may have laws against such thing I believe coz of sanitary concerns (decomposing dead stuff might seep through and contaminate water tables, for example). And if we come to the point where they allow it with certain legislation, then we'd probably end up again with cemeteries and such. Not to mention the fightback funeral homes, crematoriums, and insurance providers will do against under-the-tree burying. That's a billion-dollar lobby right there.


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Andreas4793

Burning every corpse would be a huge waste of energy and resources. Burying someone at least gives something back to nature, ashes do not.


thefirstlunatic

This post is exactly same as saying "why use tap water when we can buy bottled water, we should stop drinking tap water. "


NovelChemist9439

Graveyards are organic; whereas cremation creates air pollution.


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rockstarcrossing

I'm fine with just being buried and a growing tree feeding on my remains


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HarbingerX111

Well good thing it's not up to you.


MetroMaker

Ah JFC. Can't you even let the dead RIP?


SoggyPastaPants

More importantly, a pile of ashes can't rise from the dead and steal my girlfriend again.


Wolvesrfun

I want to be a diamond! At least I can be beautiful after I die, man. Pretty rock.


tabularasa1996

Funeral intern here. I have nothing against any method of disposition- I understand what you’re saying about burial. When you break it down, you’re exactly right- you’re in a box, inside of another box, in the ground, rotting. Not a pleasant thought. Cremation is nice because you’re not decaying, and your family members can keep you close. My only issue with it is that, though- your relatives are responsible for your body forever. If your urn breaks, it’ll be like losing you all over again. Not to mention, it must be difficult to vacuum a loved one out of the carpet. If your urn survives wear and tear for generations, eventually you’ll end up in your great great great grand-something’s attic, maybe to be sold at a yard sale.


starkat0w0

People make beautiful art with ashes. I think this is the best approach. My grandmother was cremated and her ashes were sent to a glass artist who made a beautiful glass paperweight with them. You can be turned into gemstones or jewelry. You can be turned I to a tree! I personally would much rather have a sentimental piece of art or a beautiful tree than a plot of grass with a decaying corps lying in an expensive box underneath.


ripecantaloupe

Fun fact tho, you don’t actually have to be embalmed or put in a vault or have a “real” casket. If there’s a plot of land you’ve got, then you can just straight up be buried there. The “rules” are imposed by cemeteries themselves since it’s their land, so of course they upsell you on their services so you can be buried in their plots… It’s a big scam, like timeshares.


kittenandkettlebells

Cremation isn't a healthy solution for the environment! The circle of life requires the decomposition of bodies as it creates nitrogen! I want to be buried in a shawl, without being embalmed. Let the worms eat me and feed the trees!!!


[deleted]

I saw this cool thing somewhere where apparently your dead body can be stuffed in a sac and become tree food. That way there’s still a tree that you can go visit for a loved one and not a piece of cement sticking out of the ground.


BobBee13

Make it fruit tree so u can eat my ass


Garbeg

If I remember correctly they were designed at some point to be exactly the thing you’re talking about: lush green lawns, shade trees, benches, a nice place to spend time reflecting. In the further reaches of this new approach it was imagined and promoted as a place for the family to spend the day. The magnificent architecture of old tombs and crypts is not like anything else. They’re a part of our culture and vary just as much from one to the next. It might come as a surprise to you that in order to bury an urn in some cemeteries you still have to purchase the vault (the concrete box the coffin lays in. This is a sanitary measure).


tyler-08

You need to get out of the big city and see how much space the country actually has.