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Fucking a box frame was always an interesting time. Now you can combine the fleshlight with the box frame for some real fun
I knew a guy who stabbed a hole right in his bed mattress with a knife, and stuffed a sock in it. He became an engineer.
I used to fuck my mattress and box spring by putting two bologna slices in there. Don't think my teenage self expect to nut that hard.
Brother, I'm in my 40s, happily married and get to have sex whenever I want sometimes.
I am still going to try this.
>>whenever I want sometimes
There it is
Every night of some of the nights once or twice a month of my life.
Make sure you don't have a dog around otherwise shit gets awkward real quick.
Did you at least throw the bologna in the microwave for a few seconds to get some life back in it?
Nah it was late at night so I just went in cold 😂
Found the mortician.
Yes officer, this comment here.
Now imagine putting a Fleshlight between two cushions and pounding that. Fucking great change of pace vs the usual.
The problem with getting a fleshlight is you also have to get a dildo otherwise it gets lonely when you're out of the house
Did you know that in switzerland you are legally required to get a dildo with your fleshlight?
Edit:(or a second flashlight ofc)
And why is it so?
Because fleshlights are social animals and without company, they become depressed and will starve themselves.
But you just force feed it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
It's just a meme based on [this.](https://www-zmescience-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.zmescience.com/ecology/animals-ecology/guinea-pig-switzerland/amp/?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQHKAFQArABIA%3D%3D#aoh=16235146451571&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=Von%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.zmescience.com%2Fecology%2Fanimals-ecology%2Fguinea-pig-switzerland%2F)
We passed a similar law in the Netherlands last week. No more small cages, single bunnies or intensive farms from 1-1-22
Edit: it's the biggest win the Party for Animals has ever achieved. They did a great job
Then you can use both, double the fun
Hell yeah I'm sick of a Pringles can, two sponges and a glove
You need to switch to the yellow rubber cleaning gloves, turn it inside out so the grippy texture part is where you make contact, trust me.
Also, try sour cream and onion Pringle cans, they have the most realistic smell for some reason after a couple hard uses.
Try these tips and Thank me later!
I'm not going to ask how you know this or how many hours if uhhh tests and research you have conducted to find this information but it has been much appreciated and may come in handy at a later date
No more cum in handy with this trick
Prostitutes hate this one trick...
Thanks I hate this
This is one of the those times where you don't question it how someone knows this
Rember to get latex free gloves you never know till its to late
Safe sex is great sex you better wear a latex
Cause you don't want that late text, that "I think I'm late" text.
Carter 3 went hard.
You know what ur right. Im done fucking my hand
Preach brother ❤😄
Sex shop workers are always the most helpful when it comes to finding fun or new toys for girls or boys, inside or out, that's their whole job, dont feel ashamed to go in and talk to them about it because even if they don't have what you're looking for they've probably heard of it and can give you great recommendations. (and don't be fucking creepy with them either, they get enough of that) they're literally the reason I know [the Autoblow 2 exists.](https://autoblow.com/?a_id=5&gclid=CjwKCAjwtpGGBhBJEiwAyRZX2qUd44cKSmzL4UQr_QozUH2bzfFZDRhM-41hvXd5wA_Wbun_jCuM3hoCMnIQAvD_BwE) as well as other male sex toys.
Edit: I don't own this, so I can't tell you about it other than joking about it, I learned about it and a lot of others because I was curious at one point what male sex toys were like.
Today I learned not only that automatic blowjob machine exists but that it uses AI algorithm to deliver new experience every time it's used. God I love humanity.
\>puts it in a blowjob bot
At this point can you really blame Skynet?
“What’s my purpose?”
"oh my god"
Just program it to like it!
Uh.. programed consent?
I think that's called grooming
Yea, it's all marketing BS. I had one, was ABSOLUTELY terrible. Incredibly loud, almost no actual sensation. The only semi decent expensive (but not outrageous ($500+)) is the Lovense Max 2, at least imo.
Max2 owner, don't buy it, not worthwhile.
$219.95 !!! For that price it better give me a blowjob as well.
Have I got news for you!
Hopefully more than one
Holy shit, that's some next level sex toy
That thing looks like an xbox 360. Lmao
When I went to buy my first one I went into the store and felt very awkward, I was just gonna buy one and the lube to use it, and then one of the employees started asking if I had enough of the cleaning supplies and I didn't know what they were talking about, they very kindly showed me the things I needed and made me feel a lot better about the whole situation. Thanks to them I am not one of the disgusting people who doesn't wash their toys properly, I am very grateful to that employee for taking the time to talk to me
Lucky, I learned the hard way with an itchy dick and 100 dollars worth of TPE I had to throw away.
Wash your toys. Steralize them. Let them dry outside of their case. You can bend a coat hanger to wrap around your FL and hang it up overnight.
Protip, you can use an air pump to make the process way quicker. Just stick the tubing inside and let it rip for 20 minutes.
I was expecting a rick roll, to my surprise, I found the next thing imma buy
Expected Rick Roll
Got a blowjob machine instead.
The link still sucked.
MRkillALL777 flexing because he can afford "Retail Price : $299.95" for a robotic artificially intelligent dick-sucking machine. Imma just put some vasoline in the hose on my hoover suck-a-matic and hope I don't pass out after I nut.
People tried using a portable hoover when they first came out. One model had the fan right at the end of the tube, and it was made of strong stamped steel because the stuff you were picking up had to pass through it.
People would stick their dick in it and it was fine, didn't reach the end. But as they got close and with the vacuum effect helping sometimes the tip would just reach the high speed sharp edged metal fan blades...
yeah screw it, let's get one
i mean it's cheaper if a bunch of people go in on one right? i'm in.
Make a library where you can check them out
Can I still do it?
He said he'd rather use a fleshlight.
But he didn't say other people can fuck his hand.
Do you want to fuck someone else's hand?
The policeman said I can't do that while at work... Being a school janitor sucks.
Imagine a group of guys in their mates living room drinking beer and someone is selling them different fleshlights. They all giggle when the black fleshlight is brought out.
i’m uncontrollably laughing. omg it’s too early for this
If you wanna laugh more-
I read "Fleshlight" as "Flashlight" in the title and was confused when OP started talking about Women being encourage to buy flashlights.
Cleared up almost immediately when I read it like five times tho. Too early for me...
Behold, the Maglite, the last flashlight any man will need to buy.
You mean the Vaglite?
With either of those two my father would still yell at me for not holding them right
6 Ds? I don't know how they'd all fit
Elbow grease and a can do attitude
I really wish my flashlight had a switch for the different settings. Working on my car yesterday and it turned on with the strobe setting. I almost gave myself a seizure.
I'd never heard of a fleshlight. I was trying to imagine a device that turned people's flesh different colors.
Oh, but it does...
> read it like five times
You have an odd definition of "almost immediately"...
The one guy that's like, "Oh, I've never had a Fleshlight before."
All the guys gasp and giggle
*slaps sex doll*
Yeeeeeeep fellers, this ol girl has seen some shit but she keeps on keepin' on.
Fleshlight salesman: *slaps fleshlight * "you can fit so many dicks in this badboy"
jesus.. im pleased this isnt a thing .. why? ..because it can ONLY ever get worse.
the next stage is some salesman called jeremy walking in and sitting a lifesize inflatable doll on the sofa next to some drunk dude..
Jeremy: "guys this is carla.. shes a sagittarius.. she looks good in office outfits....and for the right price she can be your new girlfriend.. after a hard day at work..yall can just chill back and watch movies together.. and then its time for lights out"
I fail to see how your scenario is a bad thing.
Carla's silicone ass will stain your hardwood, and there's no way that's covered on her warranty. Jeremy knew, but he sold you one anyway. It only ever gets worse.
Does she have a rust proof coating? Ol' Gil needs to make this sale!
You can see for miles with them new LED flashlights
r/CrazyIdeas flashlight on one end, powered by fleshlight on the other. I dub it the Luminothrust
I can't believe I didn't think of this first, but seeing yours sparked the idea - the flashbanger
I'm all for sex toys, for everyone. I'd much rather people be sexually sated at all times than be desperately, annoyingly horny.
No coincidence that most terrorists are from countries that make online porn illegal.
I'd fund that study.
Thanks for giving me ideas for my thesis. Hopefully school doesn’t mind Funding a trip to Iraq and a 1tb hard drive filled with porn
"Tonight at 6, how one student managed to overthrow the Afghani government and create a perfect Utopia"
Penises and horniness are the root causes of some of the craziest creepiest crimes in history. Sex toys for all.
This reminds me of the weird push for child-like sex dolls used to curb pedophile's lustbl for kids.
It's creepy as shit, and honestly I dont know if that'd make it worse or better...
Maybe they need that post nut clarity to realize how fucked up they are.
My guess is alot of them were abused as kids. Possibly working that shit out with a sex doll and therapy might work. Im all for whatever it takes so kids dont get fucked.
Well that's what im not privy to, what causes pedophilia?
Is it hard-coded into their brains much like kinks/attractions are in others? And if so, would handing them something close to the real deal lower their "lust" for kids, or embolden it?
Or is the proper way to help them deal with it therapy used to mitigate whatever trauma caused it?
Makes me want to become a phsycologist, this kind of stuff is facinating to me
All I know is when you ask someone to repress a part of themselves, regardless of what it is, it usually comes back worse or more intense.
A lot of people seem to think they can scare pedophiles out of pedophilia. And that might work to a degree. Some pedo's surely avoid committing atrocities for fear of concequences. (I mean, this is part of the reason why it's prohibited by law, of course.) But I think in the long term it's unproductive. I don't think we want pedo's to go underground and hide their deviation. They should be seeking help and resources to get better. Hiding their deviation is certainly better than acting on it, but once again, repressing doesn't usually work. I'd be more concerned about a 'undercover' pedo than a registered one.
Just got one a couple weeks back, Immediately told my friends how nice it felt. Turns out the fuckers all had one and were too embarrassed to tell each other how much they recommend it..
funny all of my friends were surprised when I told them , they were like just use your hands and I was like the future is now gents. they're interested in buying one now haha
edit: spelling errors
I hate how flashlights involve way more maintenance than a dildo or vibrator. I tried my best to maintain mine and keep it clean and drying after washing, but after a month it had a micro rip on the inside that scratched my little dude, and now I'm terrified of it and will never buy another one again.
There's a double standard on literally everything ever because there are so any people always spouting off their opinion. Just do what makes you happy if it's not genuinely harmful to yours or others mental or physical health and fuck what people think about it.
Finally, someone who will let me and my dog be happy.
this is not the way
Every day, we stray further from God.
And I am here for the chaos.
God backwards is dog. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Just a man, his dog, and a pallet of Kirkland brand peanut butter
I remember the internet when those videos were available on porn sites.
Man, the world has changed.
Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one and they all stink.
Do you and enjoy life
The saddest part of social media is that anyone takes it seriously.
It's literally the most obnoxious assholes in society all jerking each other off.
This is the 2nd big flesh light thread I’ve seen this week. Are the fleshlight companies on an advertising campaign right now?
This is a good catch. If you look at OPs history they’re either obsessed with fleshlights or on a marketing campaign.
This man is leading the largest flesh light movement
The MLK of our time
I have a wet dream!
That we will not be judged by the color of our penises, but by the content of its...uh, character...yeah, that's the ticket...
Definitely has a thing for fleshlights, looking at those NSFW posts.
Since the whole gme/Reddit thing I think you’ll see corporations start abusing the anonymity of Reddit to create interest about products, tbf probably been going on for years
If OP doesn't comment in the thread, it's a pretty indicator that it's a bot
The last 7 submissions by OP on their 20 day old account have been about, or mentioned, fleshlights.
OP is a fleshlight confirmed
Well fuck them!
His post history is bananas. 2 weeks ago he was all about niche fantasy novels. Then he went through a Courtney Cox heavy celebrity NSFW spree, followed by a few days of shilling for a specific brand of fleshlights leading up to this post.
Over 2 weeks ago, OP was an (18F) looking for advice in several subs at once about how to have her first orgasm (her BF does do oral, but doesn't last very long)
Then posted several pics of SOME lady in amihot and freecompliments looking for some validation for her bikini and butt.
THEN got into big tits and jerking off while being a "normal guy"
It's bullshit all around
Sounds like the account was sold
It doesn’t have to be a bought account, just attain enough karma to not be suspicious and be allowed to post. Then they can pay some service to upvote their post a lot and all of a sudden it’s on rising. Naturally from there it will reach the front page. Reddit is so easily gamed
Probably a bot, but I do know a few guys that just REALLY want to talk about fleshlights all the damn time...
I really want to be mad at this but I genuinely find it really clever... This isn't just your bog standard "post a generic vaguely related picture and use a bot farm to get it to the front page" type of post, it's quite cleverly tailored to be very popular to reddit's demographic and is exactly the kind of post that would make it to the front page in this subreddit anyway. I still hate the game, I'm just quite appreciative of the player right now.
I'm so cautious of new bot accounts, so many threads are filled with bots asking questions or commenting for OP to reply and others to shill. It is the reddit way now unfortunately
Definitely not. Who in their right mind would come to Reddit and try to sell Fleshlights? You know, like the JackHamHer©. The JackHamHer© has a ribbed inner core that rotates to give you the ultimate pleasure and the ergonomic sleeve protects your hands from the silky smooth warming lotion, PussyJuice (patent pending), that's reminds you of the warm fresh baked apple pie just like your momma made ;)
I don’t think they’re weird in theory, it’s the washing out/post nut scene that is a bit weird.
You guys are cleaning your Fleshlight?
I love to fuck with new different cultures, of mold, bacteria, yeasts, that's the cultures I crave on, and they tend to develop well in them.
Honestly it's more of just a pain
Its deppressingly gross. I got a tenga flip so I could open it up packman style and give it a good scrub... But its still soul destroying slinking a load out of something down the drain. Post nut clarity makes it embarrassing. And god forbid you use hot water. Cook your cum into the fuck.
Soapy water of any kind should do the trick on semen. It's filled with a bunch of sugars and proteins, which the soap will bond to and take *right* off. Even if it's hot, plain old soap will fix it.
... Have you ever cleaned seamen out of a toy? If its hot water, you just tripled how long it takes to clean it out no matter how much soap you use.
Just buy the damn thing. hide it in your bottom dresser drawer use is shamefully 3 or 4 times then get rid of it. Regret your decisions then order another one.
Remember to clean it between every use
If you hold it out your car window while driving it will air dry faster
"I think a bird just had one of those pissy shits on the window"
- the guy in the car behind.
Oh my god I laughed way too hard at this.
[Plug directly onto exhaust for instant dessication.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_Y0dLTbISw)
There's a story there.
I have a male friend who buys sex toys, uses them quite a bit then he gets drunk one night, gets ashamed and tosses them out! Hundreds of dollars. Like....just let your freak flag fly bro
I've enjoyed some of my best sex with Fleshlights. The wonder wave years were fantastic!
I never knew there was a stigma around this. I wouldn’t think it’s weird at all if a man had a fleshlight. Better an actual sex toy than whatever else some men come up with and then end up in the emergency room because they though sticking their dick in a vacuum cleaner was a good alternative.
Clearly you haven't found the right setting on a vacuum cleaner like me.
Preach! Right setting and right brush head
Gives new meaning to the term beater bar!
It'll rip your dick off
Watch, this motherfucker's still gon' buy it.
Lmaooo, the legendary coconut :)))))))
Pleasurable and gives it a quick clean! What's not to love?
Getting one isn't weird, it's getting caught with one that that is the issue. lol!
I already had two. At first, I didn’t want to get them because I didn’t want to spoil the feeling on something fake. But then I realized I’m gonna die a virgin, so I got a fleshlight.
I really hate this double standard, when a girl buys a dildo, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, hes called a pervert?
"Evidently, your friend did not realise that here in East Germany we use 110 volt current. He was found in his hotel room impaled on a large electrical device. Our surgeons did what they could but it took them two hours just to get the smile off his face"
Top Secret quote, FTW!
Haha i knew someone was gonna comment this
It’s an oldie but a goodie.
Yes, that it is
"Semen collection tray" is TIFU post waiting to happen.
All people should feel good exploring their selves.
My dyslexic ass read "sleeves".
Task failed successfully, cause that still works
OP what the fuck is your comment/post history? Im starting to think you're getting paid to advertise fleshlights.
Told my 65 year old coworker (a good buddy) that I use one. He was shy, but actually really curious about. I try and normalize this shit with guys his age, you'd be surprised how many of them get a little curious but are too afraid to admit it.
My husband has a couple of them we bought together and Use together. It's a fun way to spice things up
Husband and I were discussing this last night. He’s never had a flesh light, I’ve never had a dildo, we both go “why not just get eachother one?” I’m totally good with men and sex toys, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Sorry a bit off topic but your comment reminded me of a dumb joke: you should always get toys because if sometime you are both in the mood but pressed for time, no worries you can just stick the dildo inside the fleshlight and hey presto, go about your day as normal
That reminds me of this Oglaf comic [NSFW]
Sounds like a pretty solid marketing strategy. OP works for fleshlight
My girlfriend has many toys, but when if I mention getting a flashlight she protest it hard. I don't even want one, I just want her to see the hypocrisy in it.
Yeah lmao kinda weird
> if I mention getting a flashlight she protest it hard.
Well you probably already have a torch on your smartphone....
Maybe she’s against him putting such a harshly shaped object up his butt and would rather he bought something rounded.
I'd just buy one. Why not? "Hey, you have those many types, I just want this one, just one, I'm allowed to have toys too." Then watch her trying to justify her hypocritic stance.
Yeah I mentioned it to my gf and she was excited to use it on me. You don't have to use it by yourself.
Buy one and chase her around the house with it to assert dominance.
Well, use the same argument women use against men: "You're just upset because you feel insecure!"
I'm personally proud of my fuckmaster 69.
got one a few months ago. um. fuck yeh. never looking back lol :D
Totally thought this said flashlight and I was really confused as to why that was weird.
Maybe I'm the odd one out here, but I'm a woman who thinks there's nothing wrong with owning a sex toy, regardless of gender. Maybe it's a bit much in my opinion to spend like $5,000 on a super realistic sex doll, but only because I don't personally see the appeal of such an item for the price, go figure? But if that's what you like, it really doesn't concern anyone but you and maybe your partner. If you want to have a purely sexual object in your life, go out and buy a literal sexual object. It's SO much better than treating real people like that.
Sir. Just order the fleshlight, I know it's in your basket.