T O P

wanna know them all

wanna know them all

tubsponge

Let the public know about the snake wars! It's our only chance at beating the Goa'uld!


DemiFiendofTime

We beat the Goa'uld and Ori ages ago. I'm more worried about the fact we lost an entire expedition crew in deep space on board a ancient ftl spaceship


WearADamnMask

Nah, nah, nah. Hallowed are the Ori.


genonepointfive

Yeah a US senator and his daughter just straight up dissapeared


Hank_Holt

Well I remember as a kid the advertisements for the Military were wild. [Check this one out from the marines](https://streamable.com/dqerto); dude has to run through some deadly gauntlet, climb a tower, grab the sword, and then fight some lava rock demon.


Kevin-Coomsalot

I feel like they just took a bad movie trailer and made it a marine ad


Hank_Holt

It was the 90's, and everything was "XTREME!!!!" at the time.


iwannagohome49

Where is the part where he gets injured by the lava rock demon and has to live on the streets cause his government got all they could from him and don't care anymore? I do remember that commercial though, was pretty bad ass when your a kid.


IGaveAFuckOnce

"We show up at undisclosed locations to beat up people without your knowledge on your behalf, you're welcome."


iwannagohome49

I came here to mention Stargate and the first comment was yours. Beat me to it by quite awhile.


cagllmecargskin

Nobody asked, but i feel like the ones that earn the worst of my ire are the ones framed as like videogame ads(?) There is one with a whole cyberpunk 2077 vibe, and another introducing real jobs as like game characters? Idk it just feels icky to me.


IzziKitty

They're literally targeting kids with those. Start them early on thinking the military is cool and exciting. Much easier than convincing an adult.


cagllmecargskin

I know right! I struggle to call it predatory even though that is *exactly* what it is, because if i saw those ads maybe 4-5 years ago i would buy it withoyt a second thought


tokeleth

I mean yeah they have an entire ass major video game franchise for that


hermionesmurf

And also like Every fucking movie ever that remotely involves the US military


cagllmecargskin

Yeah, true


MooseMaster3000

You could make a religion out of this.


TheMadJAM

"In a relentless world, trapped by illusions...."


cagllmecargskin

"I am going to throw myself at a fucking hologram like a fool"


Dahak17

Damn American army adds are wack this is what I’m used to, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VBLnz2pT9Tc I mean it may start with divers but the second dude there is a cook


cagllmecargskin

That is more tasteful than most of the stuff i have seen. I've also seen stuff advertising free college tuitions for serving in the navy, i'm not *super* well versed on the concept but it seems murky considering my mother teaches at a college level and her students are 18-20, if someone *can* educate me on it i'd be happy to listen


Dahak17

If you’re curious I can give you a good insider look at the Canadian reserves (part time you can actually do it while at university) and a general overlook at RMC but I don’t know how the Americans run their shit


cagllmecargskin

I'm all ears, might not understand much because.my brain is smaller than a pea


Dahak17

First year private is about 120$ for a half day twice that for a full (half is anything under eight hours but normally it’s like three hours or a short online course that can often be done in under an hour) you’d work a half day a week normally Thursday and one weekend a month (three hours for those days) and the idea is a full weekend (starting at 1900 Friday going through to about 15-1600 Sunday) though that weekend may not be 100% hard rule depending on your unit and you’ve fair both of choice on which weekend as there is often two or three a month. Summer will give you a two to four month contract if you want it (depending on your job you’ll need to take the first one or two as courses however after that it’s optional) and as a university or collage student you can apply for a 2000$ grant each year for four years for your schooling and apparently some units and trades have their own university scholarships and such. The actual hard pay you’ll be making will also go up yearly even if you don’t get promoted and after two years you’ll usually get a promotion as well


Grimpatron619

I mean, I guess I can kinda see the angle they're going for. ''We dont fight for glory or recognition, just putting our lives on the line god knows where to protect you.'' It just really doesnt land very well considering, you know, it's the US military.


Weary_Copy

Ah, the military industrial complex. Unless that is an ad for the coast guard I'm reading it as complete bullshit.


SaffellBot

>''We dont fight for glory or recognition, That isn't how that works at all. It's even easier to call them hero's when no one knows what's going on. That was the governments big take away from Vietnam. Glamorize the troops, don't show the people what the troops do lest those leftists get a whiff.


Thunderbolt1011

More of these troops need to speak up about what’s happening and we need to make the ones that do speak up heard. I know for a while a lot of vets were protesting Afghan and I wish they would’ve gained more traction sooner


[deleted]

[удалено]


SaffellBot

I am "those people". You can take your feeling of disrespect somewhere else and consider how you can use that feeling for something good.


TheLoneTomatoe

They also do a lot of humanitarian services around the world, which is what I assume it means by "wars you don't know about" Which is a stupid fuckin way of framing it...


enderverse87

There's several actual wars we have troops involved that aren't getting in the news much.


TheLoneTomatoe

Like what? We're navy and don't know about shit ever


enderverse87

We've got people on the ground in Syria at the moment, (900ish I think) still have 2000+ in Iraq, we had a bunch in Somalia until literally this year.


TheLoneTomatoe

Shit duh. Don't realize how much media controls the message until you forget about Syria and Iraq while we're still there. I did remember Somalia however, but aren't we just running support there?


HeiBaisWrath

>They really should tell us about the brain snake wars as well though ​ Indeed


SevenSwords7777777

“Brain snake wars” [Stargate SG-1 theme intensifies](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vyMyOLH9Afg)


Gumball_Purple

>They really should tell us about the brain snake wars as well though THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS


spikeyTrike

They did. We had the movie, then like 12 seasons, a spin off series in the ~~Andromeda~~ Galaxy and three movies! What more is there to cover? Brain snakes=Egyptian, Grays=Norse, Satan is real and scarier than you thought Edit: Pegasus


PiLamdOd

Um, actually it was the Pegasus Galaxy.


spikeyTrike

I stand corrected. Thank you.


MountainImportant211

It was called Wormhole X-Treme


Archer007

"As a matter of fact it does say Colonel on my uniform!"


iwannagohome49

I was not expecting that reference at all. No gold but would if I could.


Gumball_Purple

>Satan is real and scarier than you thought H .. Hai . . Hail Satan?


NaglyPins

Hailing the guy didn't work out very well for anyone in the show


Gumball_Purple

The only Stargate I saw was the movie with Kurt Russel and I didn't think too highly of it.


NaglyPins

The show was better IMO, at least once it found its feet


Kevin_M_

Why is Kurt Russell in fucking everything


Gumball_Purple

I don't know how big the gap was between Escape from New York and his part in Guardians of the Galaxy II, but he wasn't in much for a while there. Edit: I looked at his IMDB and I haven't seen anything he was in between 1996 and 2017.


Far_Plantain2650

The phrase hailing Satan makes it sound like he runs a taxi and now I want this show


iwannagohome49

I want a remake of the old show Taxi but with an added Satan. Same scripts and everything just added lines for Satan the taxi driver who hates his job.


DemiFiendofTime

Hallowed are the Ori


Risky-Bit

But, can I have more brain snake wars stories? They left off with some of the coolest but hardest to tell stories untold. I want an SG show about the start of Earth's colonization efforts, dealing with the Lucian alliance and the economic repercussions of everything that has happened. I want to know what happens with the free Jaffa state. I want to know what happens with Atlantis on earth and I want to see earth take its place as both an economic power and the preeminent military power in the Milky-way galaxy because that is where this is heading unless they massively nerfed Earth.


iwannagohome49

Yeah, I really wanted to see how Earth and the Milky Way turned out with Atlantis being on Earth.


Lazar_Milgram

SG1 Satan is hot.


majuhlazuh

HISS HISS HISS HISS HISS


sleepingInTheDeep

There is no war in ba sing se


Gumball_Purple

Let us go vacation at lake Laogai


TheWordThat

I was invited there by the Earth King himself!


Yellow_Boi9

I got one that said "today, wars are waged in nanoseconds" Like, who??? Thinks?? That's a good thing?????????


ButteredNugget

Yeah, theyre really bad at selling themselves and also seeming like good people. I always get this one for the marines where its a shot of a dude being mocked by this ooky spooky ‘internet’ being that looks like him, then he like tackles it and when he falls to the ground it switches to a shot of an army man in the mud shooting shit and all that, like bitch youre doing a horrible job at this I dont wanna fall into the mud


Cheesefinger69

The narrator in that one seems to say "join the battle to the long" and I can't figure out what it's supposed to mean


AcePhoenixGamer

Pretty sure it's "battle to belong." Really weird commercial since the core message is seemingly "screens bad, come kill people."


Cheesefinger69

Ah thanks lol


twerkingslutbee

This commercial is like “stop being a bummy video gamer and join the military you peace of fuck. This is how your useless ass will end up if you don’t commit war crimes with us” and it targets people that feel lost or have no purpose. It’s so seedy


ButteredNugget

Yeah, it seems, I dunno, predatory


dontdrinkonmondays

> Yeah, theyre really bad at selling themselves > youre doing a horrible job at this I dont wanna fall into the mud I mean…you’re definitely not in their target demographic, so of course the ads don’t resonate with you.


ButteredNugget

Im a highschooler, I think just every young impressionable child is their target demographic


StovardBule

For years we were worried that World War III would be decided in minutes and then all that was left was waiting for the missiles to strike. Cutting down the timeframe doesn't sound better.


DemiFiendofTime

Jafa Kree!!!!


Weary_Copy

I really like how some of the Marine's ads are literally like, "you are perpetually isolated and deeply mentally Ill, You should shoot people about that." Yikes.


ResetDharma

The Marines will make you socially well-adjusted by sticking you in tense situations with other young men, screaming at you, totally controlling your life, and then giving you a gun and shipping you off to a village in the Middle East filled with foreign civilians, and telling you any of them might be your enemy.


idkifimevilmeow

Yeahhhh big yikes


Cxilando_Vilandas

Tbf if you look at a history of the role the Marines played in enabling American millitarism, it makes a lot more sense [for reference](https://youtu.be/Lg-nUy2DalM)


Lingerfickin

The space corps is doing their part


Madditudev1

Are the brian snakes truly evil or is it just a communiction error like in the Forever War. We need a think tank on this ASAP.


Kate_Luv_Ya

As a ~~brain snake~~ free thinker, I believe it is our responsibility to sit down with the kind and benevolent brain snakes and offer them ~~our brains~~ friendship. I think we will all find life is better once we are all ~~assimilated~~ working together towards harmony and peace.


LordZana

Unless they are Tok’ra , yes very evil


Kate_Luv_Ya

Do you know where these Tok'ra are? I am human, of course, so my only interest in finding them is to ensure that these are the ones we build an alliance with. If you could send me the gate addresses of all Tok'ra worlds, I will see that you are.... compensated accordingly...


Arch_Enemy_616

[War Is A Racket.](https://ratical.org/ratville/CAH/warisaracket.html)


imblowingkk

They’re not even sharing the snake jazz with us


Dargorod100

It’s very clear they don’t think much outside their bubble


Bromonster01

Guys, the war in Afghanistan lasted for 20 years. Aside from the beginning and the end, almost no one in the general public talked about it. There was the occasional story in the news, there were veterans coming back and going there, it was a thing in the back of our minds. Unless you had a direct connection to the military or someone close, you really never heard Jack nor Shit. You certainly never looked into it for more than an hour online. It existed, we had movies, we had video games, we never truly forgot. But the amount of attention it got when it was just… a thing happening somewhere else? It was abysmal. I say this as one of those many people that just forgot it was a thing most of the time. This ad is targeting people like me. People who grew up learning to ignore horror stories about war and living in apathy towards it. 20 years of it.


cywang86

Propaganda is a powerful tool.


Cxilando_Vilandas

Imperial Guard Propoganda vs Imperial Guard Reality


cagllmecargskin

Orks are smaller than humans, with brittle bones and weak muscles. They are also painfully dumb -Imperial Gaurdsman's Uplifting Primer


Cxilando_Vilandas

Tyranids are dumb and slow, just run at them!


cagllmecargskin

Tau are herbivorous creatures that are little more than animals. They can be frightened away with loud noises!


Oceloctopus

There is no antimemetics corps


Abshalom

That was all Air Force anyway


dabunny21689

The Army is fighting Yeerks now??


Wh33lman

Do yourself a favor and go watch Stargate SG-1. I promise you wont regret it


cybrphoenix1

Star gate for the win


hiddenflames5462

Normalize playing Scat Man in the woods at 1am


MCJon6

But it's not as if they're a secret they just mean nobody talks about them? The government sucks but this isn't a problem.


tokeleth

The US definitely overthrew the democratically elected Brain Snake leader though


Dotura

Yo, Your military got ads?


iwannagohome49

Yup, and recruitment places at malls to snag the uninformed youth.


ChickenTaxi43

Rick and Morty producer be like


DravenPrime

What they mean by that is they confront problems before they become a threat to the American people or something for the media to use to terrify people.


gamerpenguin

No I'm pretty sure they are talking about the brain snake wars


SaffellBot

Confronting problems before they become a threat to the American people and never discussing how those threats are determined, how those threats are eliminated, and what other options are available in not something that can be done in a democracy. It is absolutely vile, and has been and will continue to push our democracy to ruins.


Troby01

Since none of the ads say that, rest easy.


Madditudev1

We'll send our biggest brains right away for peace talks.


Snickerway

I’m pretty sure porkue saw an SCP Foundation recruitment ad


Thorry84

I'm pretty sure that's the airforce fighting the brain snakes, not the army. Common mistake though.


remghoost7

Sounds like a knockoff of the Blood Space Wars.


Bulk2056

I thought for a moment this was trashing on the ads about raising awareness on veterans mental health and their mental battles that they can't fight alone in but then realized it wasn't after getting the exact ad they were talking about, which was for joining the marines


HanaLikeTheFlower

It took me a minute to realize this wasn't about kpop


Arioxel_

Should they tho ?


GLDN5444

"Trapped by illusion, but theres better path to belong." Yeah, in the fucking ground


Archives-H

Hallowed Are the Ori


big-joj

**Where are the wars, Jeremy?**


StupidPointless

If I'm paying for it, I want to know about it!


BellerophonM

Woolsey, Stargate: "I think it is reprehensible that the taxpayers of this country are paying enormous sums of money to wage a war they know *nothing* about!"


Mouseman2354321

This makes me wanna join the army even more tbh


CollieOxenfree

There any specific groups you're eager to kill, or are you just a fan of killing for the sake of killing?


Mouseman2354321

neither i kill with respect for the other side


[deleted]

Wouldn't settling issues diplomatically be more respectful for both sides?


Cas_Cass

But death?


iwannagohome49

I guess you don't know the brain snakes like I do.


Mouseman2354321

yes


[deleted]

So why do you think killing is still respectful? Like, it's a waste of human lives for something which doesn't benefit them at all?


Mouseman2354321

well it depends on every nation