T O P
attempt-checker-bot

Thank you for your submission to r/therewasanattempt. Unfortunately, your post was removed for violating the following rule: > R8: "No low effort posts, screenshots or links to third-party sites" If you have any questions regarding this removal, please contact the moderators of this subreddit by sending a modmail. [Click this link to send a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=r/therewasanattempt). ^(This is a bot account, direct messages and chat requests go to an unmonitored inbox)


AlexanderDaleJones

Crosby lmao


ChaoticBraindead

It gets better, his first name is Bill. I'm not kidding.


ArrestDeathSantis

*standing ovation gif*


Cultural-Company282

Good ol' Bill "Motorboater" Crosby.


Cfood3

Hmm…


Puzzleheaded-Bee-838

I was joking when I read his name tag, " Goddammit Bill Crosby!" But now I'm laughing even harder


tictaktoee

Thanks to corruption, he was allowed to retire instead of fired.


Ecstatic-Panic-6078

Sidney Cosby is either going to beat Wayne Gretzkys point record or beat Ghangis Kahn’s Sexual assault record.


Zodiac339

Sounds like a total boob.


Salay54

Totally could use some support I bet


goodeyemighty

A couple of em


ouchpuck

That punishment cost him an arm and a boob


Zodiac339

Aw, mods removed the post. Oughta calm their tits.


RedGoldFlamingo

Did he retire with his pension?


USSENTERNCC1701E

Presumably, usually they would just say he was discharged, but if he "retired" that implies he gets the retirement pay. Which is $45k/year if he was exactly 20 years with 3 as O3 and only CONUS. But it's almost certainly more with all those decorations. Edit: turns out he was a Guardsman, so no way of knowing what the pay actually is.


not_actually_a_robot

How are you translating decorations to extra retirement pay?


USSENTERNCC1701E

Was thinking he's probably got more than 20 years. And I thought combat pay factored in to retirement, double checked that, I was wrong.


not_actually_a_robot

Yeah you’d be right on more than 20. I think he was close to 30 years but ideas that article weeks ago. He was Guard I believe.


USSENTERNCC1701E

Went back and edited my original comment, can't calculate Guard retirement 🤷🏽‍♀️


Realistic_Airport_46

A face full of boobs and a pension? My mans is living the dream


WickedRedemption

“He was allowed to retire” so yes, unfortunately they would have had to fire him.


danegermaine99

I feel like we need a bot for this… In most public sector jobs, when you hit a certain amount of time, your pension is locked in. Think of it like the pension already belongs to the person, and they are just adding sprinkles by staying longer. If they get fired after they already are eligible for receiving the pension, they will still get the pension - they have already met the requirement to receive it. The military has more discretion with this due to the nature of serving. I believe they can scrap your retirement if you get a dishonorable discharge, even if you are eligible time-wise


thelonelytraveller09

Bill Crosby


Wish_Bee

Learnt a new word today. Motorboating - The act of placing one's head between a woman's breasts and making the sound of a motorboat with one's lips whilst moving the head from side to side ...


RaleighRedd

It’s very refreshing to hear that you and other have never heard this term. It must have been a niche, short-lived figure of speech when I was in school…. Fascinating, I always thought it was public knowledge!


trea_ceitidh

I had no idea this was even a thing. Sounds quite bizarre a thing to do.


LurkersGoneLurk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=37&v=2Uzc24rVavE&feature=emb_logo


tincanphonehome

I was hoping that’s what the link was.


DM68v2

Did not disappoint. 👍


JPSofCA

I was hoping it was George Castanza's "Christmas Card."


LurkersGoneLurk

I was jealous of him. Seinfeld Elaine was a smoke show.


tincanphonehome

Here’s your Christmas card.


glasstumble16

You only learned that today? I've known about it for years.


obeyno1

Technically we both learnt a new meaning to the word motor boating. Very different meaning to going out in the boat fishing.


Trumpdidwin

Whatever happened to Stills, Nash, and Young?


ColonelSpudz

You motorboating son of a bitch!


Plati23

You old sailor, you.


jsin7747

Military "criminal justice" is such a joke. While I'm surprised that they actually confined him, they dropped the most pressing charge that would have cost him his retirement and had him register as a sex offender. That's not justice and I don't care how much time he served: you do something shitty you forfeit all your work and whatever credibility you had. If he'd been enlisted they wouldn't have had a problem taking his retirement and giving him a BCD.


Odin707

I can't quite read his rank. Was he a captain? Seems old to be that rank.


USSENTERNCC1701E

Looks like Captain to me. Given the subject of the article, I wouldn't be surprised if he's been busted down a time or two, or wound up in a dead end assignment.


jsin7747

He's a CPT in the Ordnance Corps. There's a couple of reasons for him to be so old: he's an officer who was prior enlisted (such as a SFC who went thru OCS), he's Guard or Reserve. Officers in the military don't really get busted down. If they do something that they are actually going to lose rank for the military generally just gives them the boot. Being that they actually gave him confinement he's probably in the Guard or Reserve. Active Duty tends to cover this kind of shit up and just quietly move the offender to another duty station.


Shadeauxmarie

He is wearing an Army good conduct ribbon, ironic right? I don’t think officers can get that so prior enlisted.


jsin7747

LoL AGCM is one of those that you get just for showing up. They actually have to put in paperwork to stop you from getting one. And in 20 years I watched commanders try and deny them but I've never seen an actually successful denial.


Shadeauxmarie

But that’s why he can retire as a Captain. Been in for a while.


jsin7747

Yeah but if they'd left the sexual battery charge on him (which was a slam dunk because they had a room full of witnesses) it would have meant BCD and he would've had to forfeit his retirement. They dropped that one charge so he'd plead guilty to the others. Bad trade in my opinion.


Necromancer1423

Fairly sure he’s an officer since it says so in the title of the article


Odin707

No shit. What rank of officer?


Necromancer1423

Man idk Officer officer? I’m not that good at ranks


Odin707

Haha best response. Cheers.


KimJongUf_

Angry Cops covered this


Rough-Riderr

And it was glorious


Grungle4u

Ol creepy crosby cosby


Emotional-Coffee13

Retired not fired


voitlander

Who's name is redacted?


nametakenfuck

Crosby's


New_Hawaialawan

Im pretty sure OP is confused and the media meant the woman’s name was redacted.


MrPsychoSomatic

Look at the very first line of text in the body of the article. See how it starts with a weird black bar, perhaps where a name would be?


NYVines

This is correct. They are protecting the woman, not him.


Revolutionary-Neat49

Look at the photo


New_Hawaialawan

Yes. I see the name tag. My point and I believe the other person’s point is that the title is unbelievably ambiguous in terms of whom is redacted; the victim or the perpetrator. Not sure why some dimwits feel the need to downvote a question that is relevant, valid, and benign.


not_actually_a_robot

Not sure why they’re “dimwits” but you’re the one who completely missed that this is a screenshot of a post to r/iamatotalpieceofshit in which the OP put [ID redacted] in the title and put a black bar over the guy’s name under the photo. That was the attempt at redaction.


New_Hawaialawan

Valid. This is the first comment that explained the error of my ways here. Thanks for the explanation


Revolutionary-Neat49

I guess they just thought you would figure it out 🤷‍♂️


nightmanedin

The context of the writing indicates strongly that they're speaking about the perpetrator. The post and title are valid.


vtcnc1974

The point is you missed the point.


New_Hawaialawan

Which is what?


vtcnc1974

The point


LewisEFurr

Why do white men caught in scandals all look the fucking same. They never have any lips.


ClearlyJinxed

Seems unnecessarily racist.


AnarchyInThe

As a dude with thick lips, I totally concur.


Typical-Annual-3555

He took that picture before any of this happened. His expression isn’t because he’s in a scandal- it’s because he’s a clown


RaccoonRecluse

No one said that.


nametakenfuck

How 2 hours its 3 months ago


Dart-

Tell me you're kidding?


nametakenfuck

I get that he took the photo before but why post now


Revolutionary-Neat49

Why not? This isn’t r/therewasarecentattempt


Not_LRG

A rather witty and chortlesome response, my good man.


nametakenfuck

Should be /s


obeyno1

Had to look up what motorboating meant in this context I guessed it was some type of sexual assault but didn't know exactly what it referred to. What horrible disgusting thing to do to a women. But not as grievous as I initially imagined. I've seen someone cut up by a motorboat propeller and it wasn't pretty.


Lonnysluv1

That’s one way to get home!


Wonderful_Ideal8222

Lawd. Sir…sir, this is a Wendy’s.


betterthanyours1

Retire shoukd not be an option until termination and rescinding pensions are considered.


Broad_Ad_5931

Video or it didn’t happen


Vast_Ad6372

🫡


OtterTheCoyote

“Angry cops” did an episode on this guy. For those that don’t know, I think he’s was a drill instructor for the Army. He just takes shit apart and this guy was on the list. Go watch it! That dudes funny. Anyhow. All my vets here know, this is not a proper punishment. These dudes should be held to a much higher standard and letting him retire with what I assume to be is full benefits and pension, is exactly one of the things wrong with our military today


ClarePerth

Astounds me that men ( well this idiot ) think this is acceptable behaviour EVER! Naturally the good ol boys made sure he gets his retirement..sheesh


Thesujman

I’d really like to know what made him think this would be appropriate???


DresTheXican

"Go Ordance!"


theSnoopySnoop

Cosby ?


Fancy-Mention-9325

Surprised he didn’t just say he fell but honestly happy there’s SOME recourse


Ok_Possession_2060

Can you really blame him though?


TheRealBradGoodman

I dont get it? Like he gave her a promotion and a motor boat. There some sort of rule against gifts/rewards? If someone gave me a promotion and a boat to boot i would be pretty appreciative.


Temporary-Vanilla-57

Sauce?


Havershad

Is this the navy? I should join the navy