T O P

I eat cereals with lemon juice

I eat cereals with lemon juice

Vader327

A doorknob


Drift-Z

Reason: "I love getting touched by people"


HEROtanium

All fun and games until they dont use their hands


luweegy

They use their toes


Ihateu387

Or fat coc- *muffled screaming and gunshot*


WingedAce-InSpace

*Kicks body into the river* There we go, all patched up


ChiliCapDing

Sir what did you throw down that river


StarkOdinson216

Joe mama obviously


Aonodensetsu

understandable, have a nice day


WingedAce-InSpace

Nothing officer, just some trash that needed to be disposed of, good day sir


ChiliCapDing

Ok then....I'm just going to give you a warning this time,don't do it again sir and good day to you too


yahhss

They use their head


luweegy

They *do* head


RedPand_69

We do head


RedPand_69

I mean "OUR" head


vinceTheFISHDead

r/SuddenlyCommunism


IOfferBlowjobs

Pardon?


TheCrazyCrab2106

you give them head


PetitChatNoir151

J’adore être touché🥰🥰


stipedhead

I hate the fact that even with my minimal knowledge I can understand what you are saying perfectly


PetitChatNoir151

Yeah French and English are very similar in vocabulary.


GarTheFish2

Be a single pringles chip


EggDog69

I support this reality


Egg_Spoon

I support the single pringle union


ShadowJimbo

I believe in single pringle ship supremacy.


johnnyJ2021

All hail the single pringle supremacy


BigJonesTheTerrorist

Let's go my single Pringle boys


123456789-09876543

Single Pringle, ready to mingle


BleachTheFox

It wouldn’t be a single Pringle tho


BSOUTH84

Pringle gang!


imatalkingcow

I’m here for the single pringle mingle.


Egg_Spoon

If you turn into a pringle, your body parts will tingle.


clippfity

Not unless you hear a slight jingle


dollan326

And find the rarest golden shingle


fabwizard3

But don’t be tempted, for you might mingle


OCULUSst

With your neighbors dog named Bingle.


OG_Floorgangster

Who sadly has shingles


_YTanonymous_

Yo my evil twin brother!


Solotaire

While I agree, I also would love to see empty pringles can, or even lid of empty pringles can.


FibelleTheDreamer

I read this comment and typed this up for fun. Hope you enjoy. Edit: Sorry for formatting. It's being a b-hole. Edit 2: Thank you so much for the awards! The world is dark, but it’s not scary. I am with my friends and family. Our living space is a little squashed, but I’m not uncomfortable, we fit perfectly together. We laugh. We sing. Sometimes, when there is a little bit of light from above, we hear voices outside. We don’t know who they are or where exactly they’re coming from, and their conversations are often garbled. It was always an exciting time when we heard the voices. Not lately though. This morning, when we heard the voices and we all stopped talking so we could try and hear what they were saying when all of the sudden, our whole world started moving and then stopped with a thud. Then just as we recovered from the jolt, we started swaying back and forth with a soft rumbling all around us. It was terrifying, but not as terrifying as what came next. There were so many vibrations. My thoughts were all over the place. What could possibly be happening? This had happened only once before, a long time ago, when we could still hear other people who talked like us nearby. We couldn’t see them, and we couldn’t feel them, but we could yell and they would yell back, but slowly over time, they left. Is that where we are going now? Will we hear our long-lost friends again? Beeping. Is that the right word? Oh, no. We’re moving quickly. We all slam into one wall and then another as it gets slightly darker from the top. Is everyone okay? No. Jim chipped his shoulder. Martha cracked her toe. Oh, I hope this ends soon. I hope our old friends made it wherever we are going safely. Then a sudden upward motion pulls us down and then another loud slam before the rumbling vibrations are back, but louder. Oh. My. God. Make this stop! When I talk my voice is jumpy, bumpy, and it makes me GRUMPY and motion sick. The shaking stops and we are on the move again. It feels almost as if we are being lifted as a whole. Thud. Is everyone okay? No additional injuries to report. That’s good. Martha thinks her toe crack may have spread, but before we can assess that, there is a horrible series of slams, almost like bombs exploding near us and then a little further away. As those subside, a new kind of rumbling begins. It is much different from the last two, but it doesn’t seem quite as loud. There are less voices for sure; less light too. We’re almost to our old friends now, I think. I have faith that they made it and are waiting there for us. We took this chance to talk with one another. It seems that Martha’s toe crack has spread into her chest and might end up splitting her completely in half if it doesn’t stop. Jim’s shoulder is completely chipped off and laying on Alma’s face now. This is such a horrifying day. Bill, all the way at the bottom, has never seen the light. He says he is scared and feels like he could crack at any second. What are we going to do? I have seen the light, more than anyone, here at the top. I hear the voices the best and tell everyone all the exciting things I learn from them. I wish the voices would tell me what is going on, but they have been really far away since the bombs went off. And I think they’re talking to themselves because now that I think about it, I only hear one voice. It seems like ages before we stop trembling. Our whole world and then us inside of it. We have stopped and are being hoisted to another realm it seems. There is… ruffing? A small ruff and a deeper ruff too. I have never heard sounds like that before. Did an alien steal our entire world? An alien who speaks a different language? Are they going to eat us? No. Why would they eat us? No reason to fear them. They’re just loud. Martha chimes in with how she’s almost cracked in half, maybe we should fear the Ruffians, as we’ve started calling them. Most everyone agrees. Sigh. I hear… a giggle. We are slammed up and down and left and right so quickly then everything goes dark. More giggling and a sshh. We know how to giggle and how to shush. Please, tell us what you want from us! We are scared and we are hurting. Suddenly, there is a popping sound and everything changes. Different air hits me in the face. It smells different and feels different. It is much louder now. They heard me! They heard us! They are going to say hello and take us to our old friends! I feel so happy! Something is gripping me as my as elation turns into sheer terror. I hear Phillip, Mr. Numero Dos, exclaim that he was grabbed as well. What is going on? I don’t have much time to think as I am suddenly being crunched into by very sharp and very hard objects. If they don’t stop they’re going to rip my legs off! OW. FUCK. I hope my old friends aren’t here. This place is hell. My arm is gone now too. Be safe world mates. Another giggle, this time a whisper too, “I love Pringles.” It has been days since the giggles stopped. A small crumb of me fell to the floor in here. It has been days since the giggles stopped. My friends are all gone aside from James’ hand and Lewis’ toe that lay beside me on this cold hard place. It has been days since the giggles stopped... Days... If anyone can hear me, please fair well. Do not trust the voices. Don’t go into the light. They are going to eat you and everyone you love.


BizoIsMe0708

Ahh dark Just like my future But expected from the promp I guess Cool writing.


Kingboi8

*clap* *clap* *clap*


Dhonnan

Nice


Lmctheman

A Pringle that’s stuck at the bottom because someone’s hand is too small to get it inside a Pringle can


theycallmesassenach

pringles! listen to the people! i am sure 90% of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans, just, make em wider.


Ivory_0103

I’m eating Pringles right now, stop looking through my camera lense


Skelibutt

A rock lobster


Forzuh

Iraq Lobster*


Skelibutt

That would be too scary


AnikinsLeftArm

Iraq hermit crab


j_sheeran13

Dunda dun dunda dun dundundundun Dunda dun dunda dun dundundundun Iraq lobstah


SixpennyPants

Death to america


Manette85

And butter sauce


poorlyexcused

Dont boil me


rabbitsforthebettter

I'm still alive


poorlyexcused

Iraq lobster!


_The_Messiah_

IrAq LoBsTeR


Sjimenez1315

Haha family guy reference


laurenssebo

YES


Ill-Rub1353

This, is a bucket


Foofifi

Dear god.


TheOrangeTurtle02

There's more


Foofifi

No


Entity_333

It contains the dying wish of every man here


TombRaider_2000

Scout, you did collect everyone’s dying wish?


SlavicaJegnuts

You bet!


ThatBluePhoenix_

Exellant...


Gopnik_Gabe

Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches


Entity_333

We only have 70 hours to live, for most men no time at all. But we are not most men. We are mercenaries. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count! The clock is ticking gentlemen. Lets begin.


_Max782_

Can I have the bucket?


ostangestar

no


_Max782_

Then I will see you all in hell


stipedhead

But you don’t understand, you ARE the bucket


_Max782_

I would love to be a bucket. No schoolwork, not getting shit on for saying stupid stuff on the internet instead of working, no politics, no worries. The perfect life.


dontdobuttstuff

if you aspire to be a bucket so you don’t get shit on, i got news for you


stipedhead

Saaammeeeee


Just_y_not

dear god


Anarchist_Peanut

r/unexpectedtf2


iOwnAPonyslut

write your french assignment about cheese I hope no one gets this reference


UndeadPiston531

can only think of james may everytime I see the word "cheese"


MadEngie

*slams cheese on a table* ###***"CHEESE"***


Affectionate_Cry_760

You didn't want to give him a chance huh you just threw him right on that bread AND BURNED HIM ALIVE


UndeadPiston531

"Cheese". versus. "CHEESE."


_QualityGarbage_

*"Everybody knows the Moon's made of Cheese"* -Not James May


Cyka-Blast

omelette du fromage?


iOwnAPonyslut

#oh god oh fuck


the-1-tru-waffle

#oh fuck oh god


preztelbreak

#oh fuck what?


MrWeeb08

#Instructions unclear fucked God? 69 nice


preztelbreak

#probably porn of that somewhere


MrWeeb08

#yeah I recorded it


preztelbreak

#relatable


Sociopathic_Nerd

#Why are we yelling?


Bobby_Rotkop

That's all you can sa-ay


Cyka-Blast

yay means i got it?


YouGottaGoHomeboy

I cannot believe your username , mind posting a pic on your profile?


iOwnAPonyslut

I do mind and as such wont


YouGottaGoHomeboy

no....I wanted to see a nice pony :(


LukasNew26

Fellow Stalker, nice too meet you here, what brings you out of the zone?


leapedtomb6

Oh annon


Sir_Jahshaka

I think I know this reference and I'm not proud about it


Essanamy

What about the baguette?


Unable-Win-760

Say you're a ping pong ball, and then just write that you go ping pong for 500 times


Crops-inperit

I can’t believe I actually laughed


IllustriousTooth1620

I'm still laughing


I_hate_me_lol

LMAO WHY DID I LUAGH AT THIS


-lightningspider

something wholesome and that has a reason behind it, a lightbulb so you could light up somebody's day.


Crops-inperit

That is really wholesome


pineapple_calzone

Or a black light so you could light up someone's cum.


oismac

Wholecum


TheCitizen4

I would give you my free award if I would still have it.


Longname07

The screen protector of a phone


MLGcobble

The screen under the protector.


Aypleck

Broken inside


StrangePrinciple

And yearning to be touched.


Crops-inperit

I’m concerned by the amount of people that commented dildo and/or women


MegaEmerl

Si je devais choisir un objet à incarner, ce serait sûrement un stylo. Bien que ce choix puisse paraître simpliste au premier abord, un stylo présente en fait beaucoup plus que ce que l'humain lambda imagine. Le stylo offre une myriade de possibilités quant à la façon de changer le monde. Il suffit d'une feuille de papier pour commencer à façonner un monde nouveau. Que ce soit un rapide croquis d'un somptueux paysage, une idée d'histoire à développer, ou bien même l'expression d'une équation mathématique, le stylo permet de manifester des idées et véhiculer des messages inexprimables autrement. Le stylo est communément perçu comme un objet jetable et facilement remplaçable. Pourtant, force est de constater que le stylo laisse une trace éternelle sur le support sur lequel il se pose, et qu'à la manière du battement d'aile de papillon passé engendrant la bourrasque présente, la trace du stylo antique continue encore aujourd'hui d'influencer la société contemporaine. Guaranteed 100%


Sushi-Fox

I like your funny words magic man


MobyHugeFun

If I had to choose an object to embody, it would surely be a pen. Although this choice may seem simplistic at first glance, a pen actually presents much more than what the average human imagines. The pen offers a myriad of possibilities for how to change the world. It only takes a sheet of paper to start shaping a new world. Whether it is a quick sketch of a sumptuous landscape, a story idea to develop, or even the expression of a mathematical equation, the pen allows you to express ideas and convey otherwise inexpressible messages. The pen is commonly seen as a disposable and easily replaceable object. However, it is clear that the pen leaves an eternal mark on the support on which it rests, and that, like the beating of the wing of a past butterfly causing the present squall, the trace of the antique pen still continues today, to influence contemporary society. (For those that don't speak french I thinkkkkk?)


Aedre_Altais

My hero


Pat_thailandball

Yay translation


Crops-inperit

J’ai tout lu et c’était très profond


leaf_lord

Thanks to an year of french 1 online and about 45 minutes of french 2, I understood half of the sentence.


ScreamDiscard

Thats a lot of french for a thursday evening


_Thing2_

I was sitting here reading this when I was like what a coincidence I’m reading it on a Thursday evening as well, then realized this isn’t the YouTube comment section of a 2 year old video, and all of these comments are from today


OGmeliboeus

Okay okay we accept your surrender bro


MrFr0stbite

Condom


OmegaODYSSEY052006

Why so you can break when someone needs you most


Storm-Tempest

...


MLGcobble

Same


Nice_Swordfish_69420

What


Jobesbbqnfootmassage

👽


Rin----chan

Im french if you want some help haha


peintureverte

baguette


annahoi

oui oui


nintendethan

Ouais ouais


SpeedyWithS

"I'm gonna oui oui baguette the fuck out of you"


Prilleuhm

French tooo here don't hesitate to talk to us (we can also do your homework its easy for us ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯)


iwannajumpdownahole

seven eleven


thebiggestnerdofall

Dildo


The_DP_Zone

Yes


Ballizong

No essay needed for this.


ostangestar

We all know the reason why


uwu_01101000

Fun fact : in French, gode means dildo :)


No-Hotel2966

Its gode, not gods lmao


uwu_01101000

Oh shit, sorry, lemme fix that


Numerous_Garage592

Beat me to it


DaveWasAlsoThere

A shitpost


My_name_is_Mountain

They're like a hoe, everyone taps on it, but no one really wants it


The_DragonDuck

I want it


Aedre_Altais

You’re a good human


No_Description5222

Black hole


My_name_is_Mountain

They can suck anything and everything


Adorable-Prior-508

A spoon


ElegantEye247

An underwear


Aedre_Altais

Not a pair of underwear, but a single underwear 🩲


test_gang

A ryzen 3 3600


nymaniCS

Yeah so he could always be the hottest thing in the room


Nicholasfuric

A spork


Thedarkmoon123

A woman


Crops-inperit

Damn


Educational-Fix2598

Nice pfp


GuyN1425

Nice yourself


i_eat_rats_formemes

how are you looking the other way


GuyN1425

I tilted my head.


KruelFortune

Impressive


JoJodge

i have the better fursuit ​ (im not a furry lol)


Cadrotastisch

Thats what a furry would say


Maleficent_Front5027

Zuz


Other-Masterpiece-50

I'm am a furry lol Wait what


Crops-inperit

Thx


Kyba_5

Objects are useful tho. ^(for several reasons this is a joke)


DEADPOOL-2007

Beat me to it


Waluigi0007

Damnit, I wanted to make the joke so bad but when I scroll all the way down you stole it. 😡 Whatever, take my upvote


Overt_violence

Be the essay


peintureverte

une chausette qui est séparée de la deuxième ​ ​ (a sock separated from the second)


Sphectre

A jar


I_Like_Legos8374

Cereal with lemon juice in it


coilovercat

A miniature


My_name_is_Mountain

A miniature human, or a roach- pls be specific


TheGamerone05

a sock because you will be alone forever


Malicious__Lemon

ok but socks come in pairs


GrandpapiPablito

And people cum in socks.


JohnGisMe

A Rubik's cube


LegitimateSecret508

Be a bra


Crops-inperit

Genius


Square-Blueberry-410

Dog


Crops-inperit

Ah yes dogs my favorite objects


bitter_personw

Dead dog


coolboy29876

A Toilet


Endr3as

(im learning english so or could contain errors) I would like to be rock, rocks cool, they Can be smooth underwater, or may be sharp and also hard sometimes. Rocks Can be thrown to each other as a weapon but also be a tower as a symbole of place. People Can pick them, draw on them, cut them to keep it as a memory. In fact being a rock allow you to become so many other thing that have a bigger meaning that i Can Say anything else but rocks are cool. ( I don't know if it will be usefull but for me it was really fun to write, good Luck for your work)


someone2097

Burning house


LordRiddhu

A smartphone so you can be of help to someone by showing them lewd shit and other stuff also but mainly that and when you are tired (battery low) you'll get penetrated by a charger which shoots it stuff into you until you are energized


sithlordc3po

A sperm cell


Malicious__Lemon

why would you arrest a whale?


GreatSuprise69

snail so you can get eaten out by your french teacher


UndeadPiston531

Brick


MelonKing69

A rug


ilovemybabykix

Pants


TheAceCard2242

Teddy bear, like that one book (if someone knows the name of the book tell me) It’s about a teddy bear who has a brain and can process things but not do anything and the tails he went through. I read it in like 3rd grade it was a really good book