I think the point is not to have a "heated" discussion. Once emotion gets involved then it stops being a productive conversation (assuming it was one before).
I also get emotional when talking about things that I feel...well emotional about. While this book didn't help with that, it gave a lot of insight in how to frame things:
[How to have Impossible Conversations](https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0738285323/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)
*This is the book I had laying around, there are others better written in this theme.*
I agree the point shouldn't be to have a heated discussion. I think training myself to reframe how to have a conversation over topics I feel passionately about will help. Looks like this book recommendation is perfect! Thank you.
If you have a [Toastmasters](https://www.toastmasters.org/) club in your city it could be worth browsing their online resources (I think they have a monthly magazine, but not sure about books).
I did their program for a work thing and it improved my ability to hold heated public discussions without freezing and/or wanting to cry. Sorry it's not a book reco specifically !
I vaguely remember the toastmasters club in university, and I'm pretty certain I thought they were ppl who played D&D and made baked goods. Both sound amazing and I have no idea why I never approached them.
Looks like there's a chapter in my town, so I'll check them out! Thank you.
[**Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26156469-never-split-the-difference)
^(By: Chris Voss, Tahl Raz | 274 pages | Published: 2016 | Popular Shelves: business, non-fiction, psychology, self-help, nonfiction)
>A former FBI hostage negotiator offers a new, field-tested approach to negotiating – effective in any situation.
>
>After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a kidnapping negotiator brought him face-to-face with bank robbers, gang leaders and terrorists. Never Split the Difference takes you inside his world of high-stakes negotiations, revealing the nine key principles that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed when it mattered the most – when people’s lives were at stake.
>
>Rooted in the real-life experiences of an intelligence professional at the top of his game, Never Split the Difference will give you the competitive edge in any discussion.
^(This book has been suggested 7 times)
***
^(36898 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
As someone who's been talked over and ignored in the past, I could relate to your post.
{How to Argue and Win Every Time} by Gerry Spence, a top trial lawyer.
{Start with No: The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know} by Jim Camp
{Buy-In: Saving Your Good Idea from Getting Shot Down} by John P. Kotter and Lorne A. Whitehead
{In the Line of Fire: How to Handle Tough Questions -- When It Counts} by Jerry Weissman
{Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself} by Aziz Gazipura
Hope this helps you become a debate master.
[**How to Argue and Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Every Day**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/895390.How_to_Argue_and_Win_Every_Time)
^(By: Gerry Spence | 307 pages | Published: 1995 | Popular Shelves: non-fiction, self-help, law, business, psychology)
^(This book has been suggested 2 times)
[**Start with No: The Negotiating Tools That the Pros Don't Want You to Know**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/689417.Start_with_No)
^(By: Jim Camp | 288 pages | Published: 2002 | Popular Shelves: business, negotiation, non-fiction, psychology, communication)
^(This book has been suggested 3 times)
[**Buy-In: Saving Your Good Idea from Getting Shot Down**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8559737-buy-in)
^(By: John P. Kotter | 208 pages | Published: 2010 | Popular Shelves: business, non-fiction, leadership, communication, change)
^(This book has been suggested 5 times)
[**In the Line of Fire: How to Handle Tough Questions When It Counts**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/233728.In_the_Line_of_Fire)
^(By: Jerry Weissman | 185 pages | Published: 2005 | Popular Shelves: kindle, business, non-fiction, nonfiction, self-help)
^(This book has been suggested 3 times)
[**Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36505071-not-nice)
^(By: Aziz Gazipura | ? pages | Published: 2017 | Popular Shelves: self-help, non-fiction, self-improvement, psychology, nonfiction)
^(This book has been suggested 3 times)
***
^(37069 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
Maybe "The last Days of Socrates" by Plato.
Socrates pretty much just asks "why" until his opponent gets mad and leaves. He acknowledges that he doesn't know shit, and neither does anyone else.
I think the point is not to have a "heated" discussion. Once emotion gets involved then it stops being a productive conversation (assuming it was one before). I also get emotional when talking about things that I feel...well emotional about. While this book didn't help with that, it gave a lot of insight in how to frame things: [How to have Impossible Conversations](https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0738285323/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1) *This is the book I had laying around, there are others better written in this theme.*
I agree the point shouldn't be to have a heated discussion. I think training myself to reframe how to have a conversation over topics I feel passionately about will help. Looks like this book recommendation is perfect! Thank you.
If you have a [Toastmasters](https://www.toastmasters.org/) club in your city it could be worth browsing their online resources (I think they have a monthly magazine, but not sure about books). I did their program for a work thing and it improved my ability to hold heated public discussions without freezing and/or wanting to cry. Sorry it's not a book reco specifically !
I vaguely remember the toastmasters club in university, and I'm pretty certain I thought they were ppl who played D&D and made baked goods. Both sound amazing and I have no idea why I never approached them. Looks like there's a chapter in my town, so I'll check them out! Thank you.
hahahah SAME. A dorm mate asked if I wanted to join in uni and I was like, "toast? what? no thank you".
{{Never split the difference}}
[**Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26156469-never-split-the-difference) ^(By: Chris Voss, Tahl Raz | 274 pages | Published: 2016 | Popular Shelves: business, non-fiction, psychology, self-help, nonfiction) >A former FBI hostage negotiator offers a new, field-tested approach to negotiating – effective in any situation. > >After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a kidnapping negotiator brought him face-to-face with bank robbers, gang leaders and terrorists. Never Split the Difference takes you inside his world of high-stakes negotiations, revealing the nine key principles that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed when it mattered the most – when people’s lives were at stake. > >Rooted in the real-life experiences of an intelligence professional at the top of his game, Never Split the Difference will give you the competitive edge in any discussion. ^(This book has been suggested 7 times) *** ^(36898 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
As a St. Louisian, allow me to just interject some laughter here for a moment at “the rough streets of Kansas City”
Came here to post this as well. OP this is the one you want.
As someone who's been talked over and ignored in the past, I could relate to your post. {How to Argue and Win Every Time} by Gerry Spence, a top trial lawyer. {Start with No: The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know} by Jim Camp {Buy-In: Saving Your Good Idea from Getting Shot Down} by John P. Kotter and Lorne A. Whitehead {In the Line of Fire: How to Handle Tough Questions -- When It Counts} by Jerry Weissman {Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself} by Aziz Gazipura Hope this helps you become a debate master.
Wow, these look like interesting and nice suggestions!
[**How to Argue and Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Every Day**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/895390.How_to_Argue_and_Win_Every_Time) ^(By: Gerry Spence | 307 pages | Published: 1995 | Popular Shelves: non-fiction, self-help, law, business, psychology) ^(This book has been suggested 2 times) [**Start with No: The Negotiating Tools That the Pros Don't Want You to Know**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/689417.Start_with_No) ^(By: Jim Camp | 288 pages | Published: 2002 | Popular Shelves: business, negotiation, non-fiction, psychology, communication) ^(This book has been suggested 3 times) [**Buy-In: Saving Your Good Idea from Getting Shot Down**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8559737-buy-in) ^(By: John P. Kotter | 208 pages | Published: 2010 | Popular Shelves: business, non-fiction, leadership, communication, change) ^(This book has been suggested 5 times) [**In the Line of Fire: How to Handle Tough Questions When It Counts**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/233728.In_the_Line_of_Fire) ^(By: Jerry Weissman | 185 pages | Published: 2005 | Popular Shelves: kindle, business, non-fiction, nonfiction, self-help) ^(This book has been suggested 3 times) [**Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36505071-not-nice) ^(By: Aziz Gazipura | ? pages | Published: 2017 | Popular Shelves: self-help, non-fiction, self-improvement, psychology, nonfiction) ^(This book has been suggested 3 times) *** ^(37069 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
Thank you for arguing by Jay Heinrix (sp? ).
Maybe "The last Days of Socrates" by Plato. Socrates pretty much just asks "why" until his opponent gets mad and leaves. He acknowledges that he doesn't know shit, and neither does anyone else.
>He acknowledges that he doesn't know shit, and neither does anyone else. Lol, love this philosophy. Will check out your rec, thank you!