Young Australian single mother starter pack
By - noodlebiitch
THE COOKIE MONSTER PANTS
It's like they are handed out by the government to anyone under 30 and single who has a kid.
They’re distributed at the government hospital when you deliver.
Sad thing is.
Not sure if you're taking the piss or not - it's that close.
Yeah it’s said so matter of factly that I genuine can’t tell
>anyone under 30 and single who has a kid.
~looks down~ Oh. Good thing I went with the unicorns since I’m over 30.
You moved up a tier
Nyep. Now I have “indoor pajamas” and “outdoor pajamas.” Sophisticated. Granted I’ve only worn them outside while pottying the dog.
Standard issue in the U.S too.
My kids call them “Hot Cheeto Girl Pants.”
They're standard issue for young single mothers addicted to opiates where I live.
And the shirts with sayings.
I think they’re cheap and commonly sold at Walmart or other discount places - in the 90s all the American trailer trash we’re wearing tweety bird and taz branded clothes
Shit you mean these aren't actually handed out at the hospital to single mothers?
They are best paired with some cheap, knockoff ugg boots.
UK here. Ive seen single mum types pop to the corner shop wearing these complete with slippers.
In the us this used to be a thing about 10 years ago, at least. I’d go to a bar and see 20 something girls sitting there drinking in their PJs.
These mums facebooks also are atrocious
- 'IF U CANT SAY IT TO MY FACE DONT SAY IT AT ALL'
- 'sick of drama!!!!'
- 'my 2 kids r my whole world love u Jaykub n Pheeby love mum'
- Photo captioned with 'getting drunk 2nite with my best friend', extra points if there are kids in the photo.
It's trashy single mum bingo!
There is some girl I went to high school with who is 24 with 4 kids (each one has a different dad) and legit posts shit identical to this every day
Kids are a ton of work and super expensive. I never understood how someone could accidentally have one so young and then just keep going. I feel like after the first time, I'd be pretty damn adamant about condom usage. One is understandable, mistakes happen, but four? Those can't even be mistakes, right? It seems like you'd have to actively try to make that happen. After 1 and especially 2 you know \*exactly\* what's gonna happen. It's not gonna be surprising when you keep having unprotected sex and keep getting pregnant.
Couldn't be me.
It took me a long time to realize that some people don’t become parents to give their kids a good life. They become parents because they want validation, attention and someone to love them. It’s sad.
Why are these people so fucking fertile haha.
Because idiots have always bred like fucking rabbits. Smart people know to get steady work, education, a decent place to live before even thinking about having kids.
Dumb people act on instinct to breed. They hump every hole they find.
And all of them have deep fried highlights with chunky roots loosely piled into a bun. Bonus points if they're wearing a wife-beater with a black bra.
I can't remember where it was in the UK, but there was a school board that politely requested that parents not drop off/pick up their children while wearing pyjamas.
:edit: Ah, [here we go.](https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/story/2016-01-26/parents-asked-not-to-wear-pyjamas-on-school-run/)
definitely got to be manchester area i get to see some right sights here.
Those are an international standard for trashy people
I actually really like them but noted that I shouldn't get them as I will automatically become a single mother under 30
Hahaha go ahead and get them!! I just think it’s funny how many time’s I’ve seen them. I bet they are super comfy though
they are strangely timeless
don't forget the random face sores that seemingly show up out of nowhere.
I've noticed this too. Seriously what's the deal? Is it actually meth?
Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's methamphetamine.
I would guess drug use and/or bad hygiene.
There is a really bad meth epidemic here in straya :/
More than likely. Many people compulsively pick at their skin while on meth, many also find other compulsive outlets, many do both. Regardless its incredibly common for meth addicts to be covered in sores, scrapes, and bruises causes by their manic drive to pick at their skin.
Cold sores that the kid will also have bc mom kisses them on the mouth
It's an area of a lot of conflicted information, but oral herpes is widely thought to transfer by common shared items, and even possibly by shared surfaces (e.g. guy in front of you going into washroom at McDonalds wipes his nose and then grabs the door handle. You grab it and wipe your nose. The virus degrades quickly so the window of infection is narrow).
Something like 50-80% of people have HSV-1. Given that it's contagious when shedding (e.g. a big visible blister), the notion that it has to be skin to herpes blister contact seems incredibly dubious to hit those sorts of numbers.
That has the same answer as the autism. I have no idea why but crack use while pregnant nearly always makes the child autistic.
Baby brain go woop woop
I feel bad for laughing at this
Autistic functioning adult here and you should probably look for data to support that claim.
But in all seriousness, it's lack of parenting skills and care-time that cause kids to either develop behavioural issues, or not get support for their extra needs.
Parents who don't do a great job at coping might also have special needs themselves that never got diagnosed.
Edit: "behavioural issues" here does not mean actual autism. As u/reekawn mentioned, autism is largely genetic and it's not caused by parenting.
Messy bun of hair.
And it always looks unwashed. It may be bleached but brassy
Or a faded blue or maroon dye job
Or a greasy unnatural black with brown regrowth.
Let's just agree to compromise. It's always an old or bad dye job
Oh yeah. Roots coming out, and it looks like the dye somehow mixed with cigarette smoke
Hey now. That’s the hairstyle of elementary school teachers trying to avoid getting lice from the kids of these moms.
also dating some feral type with a fucked up hairstyle (some sort of half baked mullet), face tats and high viz gear. Maybe that's just WA tho...
Nah, those guys are universal as well. Lack of hygiene and poor nutrition are key, also
With a criminal record
This also applies to America.
I was just thinking "there's a literal ocean between us and it might as well not even be there."
As someone who has traveled and done extended living in other countries I try to explain to people that it’s pretty much the same people no matter where you go.
The worst offender is people who think Canada is vastly different than US ...
As an American who regularly travels to Toronto, my takeaway is that it’s like stepping into a bizzaro America where we never gained independence from Britain. Almost the same in every way, but British rowhouse architecture and streets like Duke of Sommerset Rd.
Australia is very similar, except the differences get into scifi-realm. The animals are different (possums - not oppossums - instead of squirrels, kangaroos instead of whitetail deer [seriously, you have to watch for them on the road and every once in a ehile someone will offer you kangaroo jerky]), everything is flipped (the North is Dixie, the South is the North, people drive on the other side of the road and the car, people walk on the other side of the sidewalk, and escalators are similarly flipped - I walked onto several escalators that were going in the 'wrong' way). Melbourne is Seattle. BK is Hungry Jack. Instead of Latinoamerican restaurants, there are all kinds of Asian ones, reflecting the immigrant cross-section. And the Constellations are different. And the Moon is upside-down.
And, most of all, 'cunt' is a *term of endearment* and mostly directed *at men.*
Walky Rocky Streets on the Side
Sorry, the moon is *what*
I don't know which hemisphere you're in, but here's a diagram. [How the Moon looks from the Northern and Southern hemispheres](https://external-preview.redd.it/CEsDWM5n-B4K3jCwmRsXZ5Ve4eBTk_gOfMwFV7ANEpo.jpg?width=639&auto=webp&s=036090ddb2f0b19505fa23202190589068a94433)
I live in the Northern Hemisphere and I was surprised when I watched the LOTR movies (filmed in NZ) - there are a few shots of the Moon, and it appears flipped from how I'm used to seeing it. I didn't think very hard about it, and I assumed that it was part of the worldbuilding - the filmmakers flipped the image to change things up and make the world appear different. When I went to Australia and saw the Moon myself, it clicked.
I knew everything else that was posted but this blew my mind. It makes sense I just never thought about it
I was probably 7 or 8 the first time I was in Canada and my primary memory of the trip was seeing “85” on a speed limit sign and thinking “Wow Canada let’s you drive REALLY fast!”
Some of our highways are 120 now
Did you notice everyone was going 130
Eh, that’s because you’re comparing to NY. Compare most places in Canada to the US *midwest* (especially Minnesota), and there really isn’t much difference at all.
I’d be curious to know what a Minnesotan sees as being different about Canadians. It’s probably little distinct British-isms that don’t make it across the border — like proper queuing, or owning electric kettles.
Allegedly, there was also a story there about a ginger fucking an ostrich...
Wait do Americans not own electric kettles? That is WILD.
They aren't super common since coffee has been more popular than tea here since forever, but I'd say they're growing in popularity among younger people. They still aren't what you'd consider "standard" in an average American house, though.
You mean since the Boston incident.
Not needed. We traditionally steep our tea in the harbor.
From MN originally. Manitoba and Western Ontario are very similar. Lakes, forests, etc... Differences could be bagged milk or metric system, bilingual signs everywhere. Hockey is very popular there. In MN hockey is big, but other sports are just as relevant. Cuisine isn’t much different...burgers, steak, walleye, lots of cheese. Toronto feels like a slightly smaller Chicago with a little bit of Brooklyn and London.
Oh yeah I hear that. Ya know based on the internet stereotype you’d think Canada was the nicest country in earth, and maybe it is in other parts of the country. But in Ontario my impression is that most people are polite, but not friendly. You ask people for help but you feel like you’re getting it out of a sense of obligation rather than a desire to be helpful. It’s a really hard thing to put into words but it’s the impression I get whenever I’m over there
It's a city thing mostly. People aim to be polite, but it can be hard to friendly with everyone you meet because you meet so many people. You'll find plenty of friendly people if you are around for a bit, but just running into someone and asking for directions you'll get politeness not friendliness.
I still don't understand what Grand Theft Auto has to do with this
GTA also stands for Greater Toronto Area, which encompasses not just Toronto but other adjacedent suburbs and cities like Mississauga that make up the area. Its all one large urban sprawl but only part of it is actually Toronto.
I went to Toronto one time and I expected something to change visually when I got there, so many people are like “oh it’s so much cleaner and nicer than American cities” and quite frankly that’s not really true
It’s the same thing that happens whenever you put several hundred thousand people together in one spot. I still saw trash, months old gum stains, and cigarette butts all over the side walk, I still saw homeless people sleeping on heat vents for warmth, it wasn’t some mystical paradise it was another city, I enjoyed my time there but people are so misguided on what it’s actually like
If you're american and you want to see real drastic differences in behavior and landscape, architecture, go to asian countries where its clean as fuck. Somewhere like singapore, korea, japan Idk who told you canada would be cleaner, it doesnt make sense we're no different, really
Do Canadians sometimes find an American nickle in their change?
Good to hear. I'm in the Wisconsin and Canadian change spends the same. No one cares that its not technically legal tender.
Also in Wisconsin and it’s funny how no one around here questions Canadian money but one time when I was a kid I tried to use a peso as part of payment for something and was declined.
I'm from New York, and basically any handful of change is going to have some Canadian. I was in South Carolina, buying gas and Slim Jim's, and I paid with exact change. The cashier held up a Canadian quarter I had given her and goes "What the hell is this?" I respond, "A quarter?". She yells at me, " No the hell it ain't." In 40 years of life, I have never made a worker madder at me than she was that morning.
One day a lady dumped a bunch of Canadian change in my tip jar. She even said "you can have fun taking it to get it exchanged!" yeah okay lady I'm really going to waste time on your three loonies, *thaanks*
I bet she also dumps her dirty, damaged laundry in donation boxes and feels good about it too.
Yaeh I’m from SC and have only ever once found a canadian coin in my change and it was a penny. It’s not common here.
I live in the UK and I've found American, Euro, Swiss, Polish, Norwegian and Bulgarian coins in my change. I keep a little collection.
Do Americans accept Canadian Tire money?
Then you have the nightmare that is a Canadian with an inferiority complex and a self-loathing American who meet and perform the fusion dance.
Bogans are just rednecks without the guns. Or rednecks are just bogans without the healthcare. Or is Rockingham just Gainesville with less humidity?
\*added the less. Gainesville is in a swamp.
Rocky is weird. I really enjoyed my time there, but it swaps from nice seaside suburb to lock your doors real fucking quick.
you’d have to swap the foot tattoo with one that says Carpe Diem or Just Breath, likely spelled incorrectly.
And add an OnlyFans account.
My baby angles
and the UK...
Just need to swap out the Hyundai for an early 2000s Corsa, Leon or Fiesta.
I heard from a European friend who visited America, and lived in Australia for 6 months, that the two countries have many similarities.
Any thoughts or experiences related to this?
I’m from the US and lived in Australia for 7 months. I’d agree that there were some differences but over all I found it more similar to home than any European country I’ve been to. I don’t know what it was exactly- maybe the people I was with-that made it feel like home.
Both are former British colonies, both genocided their indigenous population, both love beer, sports, and swearing, both are on fire during their summer.
Pretty sure it's just a product of instability due to a lifetime of getting kicked around by life, and poor choices. Universal. We're all kin. No matter how you believe we got here, we almost all agree we started from one. 🌐
"package deal" always makes me want to swap for the other briefcase
You can always, always have *my* package.
*looks at user name* ____*UHHH*____
If the kid isnt autistic its the entitlest brat ever
Likely the kid isn’t autistic at all and is just an uneducated, badly behaved little shit, so mum decided to self-diagnose the child as generic “autism” to justify the kid being a twat.
I work in a UK children's charity, I can confirm some parents want to diagnose their kids because they don't know what healthy development or parenting looks like. We're trying to teach them better ways to parent.
Edit: we also provide these mums with housing and resources. Poverty and lack of education/parenting skills aren't a personal failing, but a societal one. (Just to keep the record clear).
Just feels like another way to get away with neglecting a child :/ "oh no he sits on his ipad 8 hours a day because he's autistic and it makes him calm" no bitch it's probably because when he puts it down to talk to you, you ignore him.
Kinda, yeah. Then again most mums who don't know how to parent aren't coming from emotionally available and intellectually stimulating homes in the first place. They need support and education, it takes work to heal.
Early childhood neglect (including as a baby- yeah you're trying your best, but if you keep ignoring your crying baby your kids gonna be an adult who's too scared to ask for help and doesn't know why) looks very similar to autism. But hey, if your kid has autism it's not your fault, so let's just go with that. It's like all brain stuff which is "diagnosed" by psych docs- it's just guessing based on how the client acts. There's no proof, and nobody is interested in finding any way to actually prove it because the status quo is good enough and we don't want to actually help people because then we won't be able to exploit them.
Do they refuse, call you names and ask for your manager when you do that?
I know people who receive extra money from the government because they have an "autistic" child and are poor.
And if that money was enough to help the kid and parent, it would be well spent in my opinion. If it's not paired with real support services, only some parents will manage to help their kids with it.
"Autistic? Type 1 2 or 3"
Single mother: "um, 4?"
Wait, there are types of autism? My brother was diagnosed when he was three, and I didn't know there were types
Not the Hyundai Excel! Most single mothers in Aus I've encountered have had either falcons or commodore's.
Said cars must be at least 10 years old with a missing fuel cap, custom rims and gaudy seat covers.
"Baby on board" suction cup signs on the windows too, but that won't stop them thrashing it down the local main Street.
* Burns child's hand on the stovetop for putting their hand in the cookie jar without asking
* Tells child that they sacrificed their youth and looks for you
* Goes clubbing and leaves child locked in the bedroom with a portable DVD player, with the 3rd season of M\*A\*S\*H
* Constantly quotes M\*A\*S\*H, specifically the character Margaret Houlihan
* Talks about moving to Florida, and just leaving it all behind
* Makes a killer grilled cheese. The secret is a slab of Miracle Whip
* Goes to rehab and makes you stay with your Grandma, who showers you with affection that you're not used to
* Comes out of rehab with a new outlook
* She gets a job as a receptionist at a dental office
* She marries a passive engineer named Erick, that says you can call him 'dad'
* Erick's a solid guy, but you still resent him on some level
* Establishes a relatively 'normal' family life. You try your hardest to forgive her, but you'll be forever scarred (literally and figuratively)
* You go to therapy and work through your issues.
* You decide to wait until you feel 100% ready for children. You vow to be a better parent, and to never make your kids watch M\*A\*S\*H
* FUCK M\*A\*S\*H
Haha nothing to see here.
The extra K on Erick was the oddliest specific I reckons.
I hope you at least appreciate that M\*A\*S\*H eschewed a laugh track during its operating theater scenes.
I will say the show did a good job of \*mashing\* sitcom-humor with real fucking drama. Way ahead of its time in that regard.
"I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. That's entertainment." -Margaret Houlihan
Don’t you ever talk about putting salad dressing on a grilled cheese. 🤮
Miracle Whip Salad Dressing adds a bit of attitude to everything it touches. Its desirable, tangy zip accentuates on-trend ingredients and turns up the flavor on classic dishes like Mama's Famous Grilled Cheese. I make with the Easy **grilling**, easy cleanup. No-hassle, dishwasher-safe **grill** plate, and drip tray \*\*George Foreman Grill\*\*! I don't use stovetops after the incident...
M\*A\*S\*H is fuckin amazing though!
Anything wonderful can be ruined by a bad parent.
oh god i know someone exactly like this- like down to the tattoo
I saw sooooo many military wives like this when I was in the Air Force.
Also applies to the UK, not sure what centrelink is though
It's the same as JSA.
What's JSA and centrelink for that matter?
Job seekers allowance. Its an unemployment benefit
Sounds more like unemployment than social security.
“For some reason”
That reason is obviously vaccines, which are purposely made so that the receiver will get autism so that everyone in the world will become autistic so that were all dumb enough to believe that the world is round
I hope you never have to recite your username from memory
Username backwards, username, username backwards but there was a character limit
Every profile on MeetMe
"My kids are my whole world." It's almost like a single mom hive mind.
Dumps them on Mom and Dad when she has a hot date......
Bio is “Jackson’s mom 👼🏽” or “Tanner’s mom ❤️❤️”
In my hometown, I swear this is the average woman on OKCupid. '24 year old full time mum with 2 kids, looking to settle down'.
Read: Looking for a provider to leech off.
“22 and a mom to my 3 kids, not here for a hookup”
Too fucking accurate. Used to live near a houso, it was always riddled with these people. I went to school in a poorer area, about quarter my classmates came from single parent households, mind you, this suburb is in a major and prosperous city. What happened to the children later in their lives was sad though, a lot of them fell to crime, dropping out and other things. But some things good happened, I know one of them went to the top uni in the country for physics.
But due to higher rent, a lot of lower economic demographic has been driven out. So they aren’t that common anymore.
This reminds me of that old Chris Rock comedy routine where he talks about people bragging about taking care of their kids... CR’s words... “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO MOTHERFUCKER”.
"My kids are my whole world."
I would hope so since they're your kids. Is there an option for them not to be your world that every single, single mother posts this everywhere?
I think OP is trying to draw attention to the fact that they always say this but the kids often look unkempt, have a very poor diet, and the mom is too busy with whatever she wants to do (often partying) to actually pay attention to them.
Pretty much spot on. I know a few women who post this “my kids are my world” nonsense are neglectful and invest nothing in their appearance or education. The parents out there doing the heavy lifting daily and investing in their care aren’t shouting their kids are their world on social media.
The kids are all really nice but always evolve into little teenage gobshites
- swears at child when they misbehave in public
- posts the 'only god can judge me' thing on facebook
That would work for r/westvirginia too. Or r/Hagerstown or r/yorkpa
From the comments it sounds like this works for r/thewholeworld
Substitute Australia with: Any western country
Studied at : School of hard knocks.
Every. Freaking. Time.
am i the only one feeling a depressed vibe to this?
This is unbearably sad upsetting for some reason.
How did Cookie Monster pants become the international pant of trash?
3 shillings at Walmart
So, for "kid always seems to be autistic for some reason", divorce rates are double or triple among parents of special needs kids, and are higher the more severe the needs are. Its a really stressful life. Theres a decent chance that she's a single mom (indirectly) because of her autistic kid.
Ha, this pretty much exists as just white trash single mom in America.
Just change the joint to a Menthol.
Too true, maybe a camel crush?
Right down to the cookie monster PJs. Just saw one at 7/11.
Australia really is our closest ally.
And if you do get involved and try to steer them back to some kind of normality, you’re an asshole with a superiority complex. So nasty when confronted.
Nathan, Jayden and Nevaeh.
This applies to small American towns too. Or all of west Michigan. I’ve met at least 5 moms like this and also my aunt was one.
West Michigan here, can confirm. Needs more Tinkerbell, fake Ugg boots, and Marilyn Monroe fetishizing.
Don’t disrespect west Michigan like that lol (but you are 100% right)
TIL my sister is Australian
Make this up side down then we’ll talk
Where are all the irresponsible fathers?
As an Australian, I can confirm