T O P
MakeSureImGoodnReady

Sure! I like em


Dry_Mammoth501

Thanks for replying


crabgal

It depends on the person, but if you’re in the US most people won’t mind if you strike up a conversation with them about something


Dry_Mammoth501

I didn't know that, yes I do live in the US. I've only had people randomly talk to me at airports before, so.i didn't realize you can do this anywhere. Thanks for letting me know, I'll definitely try it out once I get more comfortable talking to people.


f-u-c-k-usernames

Depends on where in the US. I’m from the greater seattle area and there’s something here people call the ‘Seattle freeze’. Seattleites are seen as stand-off-ish/cold to transplants thus making friendships or dating is difficult. Idk if we’re actually really like this, but it’s not totally untrue either. As far as approaching strangers in public, be mindful when interacting with women. Even if your only intention is to have a random conversation, she might feel uncomfortable and concerned for her safety because you’re a male stranger. Too often women are harassed by random men while going about their daily life and she might think you’re going to do the same. If she ignores you or doesn’t engage in conversation beyond a polite hello, then it’s probably best to leave her alone.


Dry_Mammoth501

Ah, I'm from Maryland and I don't really see that happen here, but that could also be because I don't get out of the house often enough. I completely understand that some woemen don't want to be aproched, if she doesn't engage in a conversation with me, I will leave her alone.


f-u-c-k-usernames

Good plan. And not to be confusing, but there are women who do enjoy random conversations. Just depends on the circumstances and the particular woman. I’ve had some great conversations (I’m a woman, btw) with strangers including homeless people. (It was daytime in a busy area and they didn’t seem threatening, just lonely, so I felt comfortable engaging)


[deleted]

When i went to DC area i felt like people didn't have time to chat. The people working were more than happy to make conversation while i was there.


fleet_13277

I can tell you it is not that common in Europe. I Was quite surprised when I was in the US and people randomly started talking to me, it's not a thing here and I felt a little bit uncomfortable with it. So in my opinion it really depends on the culture.


[deleted]

Im from Texas and its definitely normal and apart of southern hospitality. When im in Dallas tho people seem more on their way with no time for chitchat. In Austin were known for being pretty laid back and kind to strangers/tourists. It definitely changes city to city.


TheRealMasonMac

I think it definitely depends on the culture of the place you're going to. In NYC for example, Asian communities are usually more open to that.


redrose4422

Yup that's right, they will never make you feel weird for it even in the elevator they would go with thr flow. Americans are awesome.


Correct-Cherry4126

That depends a lot. There are personal and cultural differences. You are more likely have a conversation with a stranger in Portland and less likely to have a conversation with a stranger in Chicago.


ftgander

Can’t stand it, personally. But I also have social anxiety


lydiakinami

If you see someone hurrying, they are occupied. If not, I would say 75% will hold a communication with you if you initiate, and about 50% will be casually interested in the conversation. Starting with light topics, under optimal circumstances it's based on the situation. Examples: "it's kinda cold out", "damn these trains are taking their time again", "hello are you here for xy as well?", ... You never know if something works unless you try. And keep in mind, if you say and do everything your own way, you are authentic and ppl can sympathize; take that for what you will.


urscndmom

I love talking to strangers. Don't even mind being subtly flirted with, I just like feeling connected to people in real life.


bobthebobcattt

I’m not a very social person either, but I remember there were moments I did enjoy making small talk with random people. These are personal preferences (based on which conversations with complete strangers I found welcome/unwelcome) but might be something you want to consider: On situational appropriateness (idk how to words lol): - Never start a random convo at night, or when there are absolutely no other people around, or if the other person has no way to exit. In general, avoid anything that might be suspicious or would sound off any alarms - No physical contact. Don’t tap anyone on the shoulder to get someone’s attention just to chat. - Don’t engage in conversation if the other person is clearly busy (in a hurry, doing stuff on their phone, looking for stuff in their bag, napping, waiting to get a ride, etc.) On topics: - Don’t start with stuff like “how are you doing” or “do you mind if we talk a bit” since that kind of puts the pressure on the other person to come up with something to talk about even though you are the one starting the convo - Don’t force the convo. Meaning, don’t try to start one just for the sake of starting one. Just observe your surroundings, then if you see anything particularly interesting that you actually want to chat about, then you try to start a convo. - Start with something you’re both able to observe where you are. Like if you’re in a waiting room watching TV, maybe comment on the show/commercial. Don’t start a conversation about a random thought you had that’s completely irrelevant to where you are (e.g. “do you think aliens are real” or “you know one time one the bus…” when you’re at the hospital) - Avoid politics unless you’re absolutely sure you’re on the same side and it’s relevant (like maybe you happen to be there when someone was putting up election posters or something and the other person reacts with disgust and you both hate the candidate) - Avoid anything personal like “do you work/live around here” or ask for their name. I guess it might be different in other places, but personally, I freak tf out whenever a stranger asks my name or tells me theirs (bc there’s some pressure to reciprocate and tell them mine even if they don’t explicitly ask) - I think the most enjoyable small talk I’ve had was when I was waiting in really long lines. It’s pretty boring so I guess a lot of people would be bored enough to not mind a random conversation. It’s also pretty easy because you have multiple obvious starters: complain about the long wait, diss on someone trying to cut, etc. On behavior/conduct: - Learn to take hints. One or two word replies usually mean the person isn’t interested. Pointedly avoiding looking at you most likely means they are not interested. If they take small steps away from you, it’s not an invitation to come closer. If you’ve had to be the one to ask them/say something more than twice to get a response, they’re probably not interested. Be prepared to just let the conversation die no matter how awkward it feels - Never call someone out for not being engaging in a convo (e.g. don’t say stuff like “not gonna say anything to that?” or “you seem quiet”) - If you’re gonna chat with someone on a bus or train, time your responses so that it would be easy for the other person to disengage when they’re about to get off. You can ask where they get off if you’ve been chatting for some time, but it’s pretty alarming and borderline stalker-y to be asked right off the bat Edit to add: **Never take it personally if someone doesn’t want to chat with you or responds rudely. Always remember that YOU are interrupting them and so long as they don’t physically hurt or scream at you, any reaction is reasonable.**


Lefty_93

Some folks get offended or weirded out but that’s on them.


a3rospace

I think Covid changed this quite a bit. You may get more weird responses from people. Atleast that’s been my experience


beingandbecoming

Do sales


Rosa_rodilla

Retail definitely helped my social anxiety!


be_bo_i_am_robot

No, I do not, but I’m very polite, so I’ll hide my discomfort and indulge you anyway.


[deleted]

Studie have shown that people enjoy it much more than they initially think they will. So it may seem uncomfortable at first, but they'll be glad you chatted with them.


yuxngdogmom

I don’t, but I have social anxiety as well so that could be why.


Breaditude

It really depends. If im traveling alone then I feel like sometimes you have no choice especially if youre trying to find your way in a place you've never been. I'm very much an introverted person but i'm not afraid to approach people and speak my mind. I would just rather not interact most of the time. If the vibe is right, it just happens naturally and you just go with it. If I have a certain goal in mind I dont want to hear about anything anyone says because I feel like I will get side tracked so I mind my own in that scenario.


MatrixMorpheos

If the people aren't looking like a religious tryna convert me it's okay doing a random conversation.


IhaveZeroCreativity2

It depends on a lot of factors. Some people just don't like strangers, some might be also socially awkward or anxious and they wouldn't like it. If you're a guy and you approach girls they may think you're hitting on them. Then there might be people who just answer politely but they don't want to actually carry a conversation. Just try to look for sings to tell if someone is comfortable or not.


oohbleck

I've both experienced it and seen it more in the past year (on public transit in a US city) than before covid. I think it usually works, and I've seen it started with a compliment or well regards/helping someone else with something (dropped item?). Helps if it's not rush hour or you visually have something in common that they immediately identify.


liftmyhands

Sometimes yes sometimes no. Make sure you’re in a place where they have an easy exit (i.e. park rather than train or cafe). Start with something friendly and easy, and continue being friendly as long as they seem engaged and are actively contributing.


areyoufuckingwme

Ug I'm super socially anxious and all together not a huge fan of people. BUT my dumb ass got into customer service at 14 (now 24) so I have developed this alter ego customer service personality that is so the literal opposite of who I am and it's so exhausting but I'm super good at it. The thing about talking to strangers is reading them. You wanna start a conversation with some random person? So scan a crowd and look for someone whos body language is more open and comfortable, someone who makes eye contact with you and smiles. Greeting people is a great way to start a conversation because it's easy to read the person by their response. You say 'goodmorning! Nice day isn't it?' and if you get a short 'morning' or a head nod, you know they aren't interested and you walk away. Older people are 80x more likely to want to chat, and old old people even more so because they are lonely. Looking into volunteering at an old folks home migh be an idea for you! Some people do not like to be approached or talked to in public, some people are down to chat with anyone whenever wherever. On my good days, I'll chat with anyone and my body language says that - head up, smiling, eye contact, I say hello or goodmorning to anyone who makes eye contact with me. On my not good days, I might tell you to kick rocks if you say more than three words to me. But my body language is always SUPER clear - head down, no eye contact, little to no acknowledgement of greeting.


Clearwater27

I like practicing this when I’m grocery shopping. That small interaction with the cashier, it’s quick and you know there’s always an exit.


fanime34

Some do. It's a good way to start conversations.


Ikem32

It depends on the approach and what you want from me.


autonomous_anon

People are social animals, and friendliness is a good predictor for success. People like talking to friendly people. Just try it :)


SunDamaged

In my personal experience, I think older folks are very open to chatting and are in less of a hurry. If you’re trying to strike up a conversation, questions are great places to start because people love to talk about themselves. Also, questions that are relevant to what you’re doing or where you’re at. If you know a random/interesting fact about something related to what you’re doing, that can also be a conversation starter. I wouldn’t recommend trying anything beyond exchanging pleasantries with someone who is working or seems like they are on a mission (like charging through a grocery store instead of shopping at a leisurely pace). I’m sure you’re a lovely person but not everyone knows that. That being said, approach women with consideration for their feelings and keep it short and sweet if they don’t seem open to conversation. You’ve got this!


Cotepareja

Also it’s different for men and women, women are usually less trusting and closed off because of passed experiences and fear, and we’re not able to tell your intentions right away so we usually try to get away from strangers unless is a social gathering. This is not because you look a certain way or anything, absolutely nothing to do with looks or the way you approach, it’s just because we can’t tell right away if it’s safe to talk to you, so we shy away from all of these interactions with all men just to be safe. I’m not sure if this happens everywhere, but it happens in my country. I hope that your therapy goes well and that you meet some cool people.


1Girl1Attic

Yes i agree. Women will assume most of the time your hitting on them if you are where I am from. Best to stick with the dudes for now until u find ur step


Virtual-Nose7495

If you have a proper entry point, most people wouldn't mind. Long waits are the best like, the lifts are taking too damn long and both of you are just staring at the numbers drop one at a time. Or you spotted something off with them, like their fly is open or they've got stain on their clothes. Then sure, popping a word or two might get their reactions as well. Afterwards you can proceed with whatever irritates them or vent your urgency. Also, if you do notice a stranger with nice shoes, you can always shout out, "Nice shoes! "Most people would be happy to hear that compliment.


__thelesha__

Personally, I actually do like the idea of random conversations with people I know and or don’t know. The issue is though, I’m an introvert at heart and I get awkward and sort of standoff-ish without meaning to. Therefore, people would think I’m unfriendly but honestly, I’m not. Just can’t help it even though I love the idea of making friends that easily lol. It’s all because I don’t want to mess up or sometimes I can’t think of the right thing to say so I shut down Whoops


Electrical-Plan-2056

I think it’s really a matter of personal preference - I hate when people I don’t know come up to me in the grocery store or something like that. But I also have low level social anxiety and I’m in bed-lock depression half the time so 🤷‍♀️ I will say that there are times when I find it to be appropriate. Work spaces, maybe a place like a library, or a store if you have a question (sometimes I’ll ask ladies in the yarn section to help me because they usually know much better than I do). Places like parties and events of course are good, but I imagine that’s not a space you’re quite ready for and that’s okay! However, a lot of this is just my personal opinion if I was the one being approached. There are tons of people out there that would be happy to strike up a conversation with you and I hope my comments doesn’t dissuade you. The reason I don’t like people talking to me in public places is, like you, social anxiety to an extent. I also just don’t really like people very much… so if you do try, and you get an awkward response or they seem uncomfortable, it’s not you, they’re just a person that (like you) are uncomfortable with strangers! - that being said, some people are just dicks so if they’re responding in a rude way, AGAIN, remember it’s not you. They may be having a bad day, are stressed, etc. It does not make their response acceptable, but you cannot control the actions of others, only your reaction to them :) Best of luck!!!


RFLC1996

I'm English, we don't even talk to our roommates, a stranger saying hello in the street would probably be met with a scowl and a tut.


Hekem_The_Slime

I guess it depends on your approach and where we are. If we are in a que in a shop or fast food place I can probably have a quick chat or small talk, but if it's just out on the street I would get super nervous or even scared so it would then depend on how you approach and speak. I hope this helps and good luck!


cheesypuzzas

I do, as long as I know when it will stop. I don't want to have a conversation for too long. So if it's somewhere I can't just walk away and won't get forced out of a conversation (if the bus arrives for example, then I can just leave easily. Don't sit close to that person, unless they are talking to you a lot) I don't like it. You can also see if a person engages actively or not.


montanalombardy

Some do, some don't. Some simply won't be in the mood and that's ok. I did similar things to help my social anxiety. Sometimes I'd comment on a boom someone is reading, or their tattoos and asks if they have menaing and such. People usually like to talk about such things. Or when you buy something you can ask the cashier how it is to work at a coffee shop or something. Also older people tend to be more open to conversations.


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NoPensForSheila

Find something interesting about a person or an environment that you both share. Make a funny comment. Have a genuine curiosity about something rather neutral, like a logo they wear or something. It sucks long term, but working in retail really helped me level up my social skills.


Level-Somewhere3940

I love it! But I also have very open boundaries when it comes to socializing. Inversely when I notice people who may seem a bit more standoffish in public, I usually open with a compliment or a very general comment on our surroundings. If they probe to continue the conversation from there, then I may ask them about their day, but I would generally think that any light topics are free game.


earlyatnight

In my country (Germany) it’d be super weird since people rarely do it in good faith (only weird salespeople or pick up artists will randomly strike up a conversation with you on the street) so you’d instantly be assumed to have some malicious intent. In the US from what I’ve heard I guess you’d be fine.


[deleted]

Most people do not because they are unprepared to talk about anything that they're ignorant of


cannowerms

i love it. i have social anxiety as well so it’s actually really nice when someone just randomly starts speaking to me. i feel like social media has given a lot of people this weird idea that approaching people is always bad and is always unwelcome all the time. but i think it’s really nice and gives a small sense of community, i guess?


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