Lovebug App - AMA!
By - thelovebuglife
Quick question! Baby just turned 7 weeks. If they only nap for 40 mins and you can’t keep them in the room because they are crying and you can’t stay to comfort them because of a toddler sibling who can’t be left alone for very long, what do you do? Do you bring them out and put them back down again later, how do you do this and stick to a 3hr feeding schedule?
I am using the app, just confused and haven’t found the answer in the lessons
Hi!! Probably too late to this party but wanted to see, do you think it's possible to sleep train a 18 month old? I admittedly created a monster...
We welcome everyone to the party at all times. 🥳
No! I don’t think it’s too late. I’ve worked with a lot of 18mos. And you know what? You did what was right for your family at the time.
When you are sleep training an older child, it’s going to be harder more because they are stronger themselves and already have set habits. Because of this, I recommend you really change things up on them in a creative way because they will notice everything is a bit different. For example, some babies at this age will have a BAD room association. So, you can change that association by rearranging the furniture and make it feel entirely new to them. You might also want to switch up your routine as well.
After that, it will be really important to be very consistent in whatever approach you use. We work with parents on three approaches, extinction, interval and chair method. On our Instagram, there is actually a live I did that talks about how to choose a sleep training approach for your family. (I included a link) Because your baby is at the age where they are learning to be strategic and are the best kind of scientists, we have to be consistent or they will get more determined. So when you pick a program, really think to yourself what is going to be something you can stick to.
If you have trouble, I’d love to chat through it on our Instagram lives! If you’d prefer something more hands on, we are doing an introduction offer on our app where if you buy an annual plan, you get four phone calls with me included.
Glad you submitted a question! I hope that helps!
[Instagram live chat](https://www.instagram.com/tv/CPrikhZpulw/?utm_medium=copy_link)
Thank you for your kind reply. I am excited to try your app :) signing up today!!
We’d love to have you!
Hi, we have an 8 month old who just will not seem to sleep past 6am anymore no matter what we do with naps or bedtime (she used to sleep 7pm-7am). What do you think could be going on?
First nap 9.30-10.30/11am
Second name 1.30/2pm-3pm
Usually 2.5 hours sleep in the day. Bedtime 7pm.
First thing I would check is how their room is at that time in the morning. Is there the smallest glimmer of light? Does it get a tad warm? And how do you react? If you end up starting the day and expose them to light, warmer temperatures and food, their body could be programmed to wake at that time.
Whether room is fine or not, I do think you should move your bedtime back to 7:30. It fits a bit more with the body clock at that age when you want a 7am wake time with a 9:45 nap and 2pm nap.
Those are likely the main things, we have a whole lesson on early mornings if you’re looking for more info! But I think these will get you 90% there.
UPDATE: IT WORKED! Thank you! I don’t want to count my chickens and hopefully this continues!
Booyah!! I’m so happy to hear that. I love hearing about both the successes and when we should do something different. Here to help any time!!
Thanks so much, I’ll give this a go!!
Good luck! Tell me how it goes!
Hi! I have a 12 week old and we have a solid night routine of feed, bath, feed and song. He's usually asleep by 7/7.30 but cat naps at this time for 30 minutes. He is then awake for 1.5hrs at least. It seems he wants his bed time around 9.30-10.30 as only then will he have his long 3-5 hour sleep. How can I get him to start his night sleeps earlier?
Also he wakes about 8.30am with 2-3 night feeds after the 9.30/10.30pm sleep. I've tried early morning wake time but he just wants to feed and go straight back to sleep making it impossible to keep him up and start the day earlier.
Hi there! Yes, it seems he’s a tad jet lagged. When you are adjusting for jet lag, it’s important to consider the entire 24 hour clock. Since he’s still under 4 months and doesn’t yet have the body clock connection in his brain, we will follow wake windows during the day.
Your idea to focus on the wake time is exactly right! Instead of going directly to an early morning, I would adjust it by 15 minutes per day. You’ll want to trigger the start of the day with lots of sunlight, feeding and warmth to get their body going. Babies bodies can only move 15 minutes at a time.
For their age, you’ll want to offer them 11 hours at night. So if morning wake time is 7 am, their bedtime will be 8 pm. Since that’s around 1.5 hours off of where he is now, it will probably take you 6 days of adjusting 15 minutes at a time. The lovebug app can help with this too, just set your desired wake time and the schedule will be derived for you. It will adjust each day to get you closer to where you want to be, and then update next month when you move to a schedule.
Hope that helps! May the sleep gods be in your favor!
Hi there! I’m about to hit the 4 month mark with my LO in a couple of days and nights have been brutal. Waking every 3ish hours when before it was only 1-2 times a night. How o I know if it’s the dreaded “sleep regression” or if it’s time to drop a nap? we just moved from 5 to 4 naps a couple weeks ago but gets SUPER fussy around 1.5 hours during the day and 2 hours before bed.
It’s probably the four month regression. Normally for a 4 months, 3 naps are the best for their body and bedtime comes more early (like 6:30)
The main signs to drop a nap are that nights get disrupted or your baby starts to refuse a nap. But I think for you it’s more that your baby is getting on to a schedule.
If you want more help on getting to a schedule, we do have a video lesson on it in our app on how to quickly get to a schedule. I think it will help! 🙂
Our 6 month old is generally very good at going to sleep by herself, but will wake up crying once or twice a night. What could the reason be for this, and how do we react? She is still in our room, so the easy way out is to offer her pacifier, but will that harm us in the long run?
If your baby is falling asleep independently, and is generally a good sleeper, it’s likely either that your baby is processing some new skills (which can disrupt sleep temporarily) or they could be having their first nightmares. Is the crying fairly intense and immediate? Six months is around the time for a baby’s first nightmares. If it is nightmares, you’ll want to comfort them for sure.
Regarding the pacifier, It depends what your family wants!
Some people think that pacifiers are a tough sleep association because it requires grownups to step in fairly often. Like right now, you’ll go to replace the pacifier multiple times a night. In a few months, your baby might start taking out the pacifier but can’t put it in themselves. And then they might start throwing it over the side of the crib and you’ll be creeping in like a ninja to put the pacifiers back in the crib. 🙂
So those are the consequences of the pacifier, and in other ways, the pacifier is awesome. It’s a quick fix and babies love it. Also, a lot of times babies will start to use their fingers instead of a pacifier if they don’t have the pacifier. You’ll eventually go to the dentist and it can be an issue if you have a major thumb sucker. So on that side, pacifiers are great cause you can take them away.
So really, the choice is yours and both have good and bad things. You might keep a pacifier now, and then later get rid of it. But either way, I would consider it bad, it’s just choosing your own path.
We have some video lessons in our app on how to wean a pacifier if you do decide to go that path! I hope that helps!
Hola! So we have just sleep trained our wee girl and she's putting herself down for bedtime and naps. This means for the first time ever naps are longer than 45 minutes! We used to be on a great schedule with 4x45 minutes. Now I don't have a clue how to handle her naps!
Also she (pre regression) would sleep 9 hours and now we have a wake as early as 4.5 hours. We have been letting her FIO but it seems as soon as we get that first wake she's up every 2 hours. She can often put herself back down and I will feed on wakes around 12/1 and 3/4 but any tips on either getting her to sleep on her own without tears again or just pushing those wakes back to start around 2?
She's 18 weeks today and VERY wriggly/rolly. Sleeps in a sleep sack in a crib and dark room white noise. Bedtime routine is Bath, boob, sleep sack, book, song and cuddle in the dark, bed. Nap routine is go outside to say goodnight to random things, nappy change, sleep sack and song.
She will fuss for 2-5 minutes at nap time longer if I have messed up the window.
Night is 7-7
Congrats on the longer than 45 minutes! That’s a huge milestone. At 18 weeks, getting to a clock schedule is around the corner. At that point, you’ll do three naps, roughly around 9, 12 and 3.
At night, my biggest question is how long are you waiting to feed? A lot of times families will wait to feed when they are following Fuss it out and so your tiny tot will wake longer because they think that eventually they will get the food. So it’s better to feed within 5 minutes or not at all. Following a feeding schedule at night will help with that.
But really, my guess is you are in the middle of the regression where your baby is moving to having a clock schedule. That’s probably why you are seeing more wakings at night, and it seems to me that you have amazing habits and it’s going to fit together in two more weeks. In a way, it’s more about supporting her as she goes through the transition. You’ll get back to that great schedule soon, and if not, please do come talk to me at one of our ask me anything’s on our Instagram @thelovebuglife every Thursday. We can workshop through it together 🙂
Hi Lovebug app! I have a 3-month-old. Should I be trying to get her on a strict schedule? Or should I be using wake windows? Also - what time is the ideal bedtime for a 3 month old?
Thanks for your help!
Hi there mommabear! Great user name!
Three months can be a really exciting time! Basically you’re moving from following wake windows to getting on the clock schedule when your baby actually turns four months. The wake windows recommended range is REALLY broad at 3 months. 45 minutes to 2 hours. So it’s important to figure out what actually is the right amount of time for your baby’s body. The lovebug app will help you by keeping track of your wake windows, and then also will help to extend them slowly as you get closer to 4 months. Or, start to write down when your baby actually wakes and falls asleep and figure it out on your own! Then, at 4 months you want to move to a clock schedule because your baby has a body clock.
You asked what’s the ideal bedtime, ultimately that’s going to depend on your desired wake time and nap times! Let’s say it’s 7am, then you’ll want a regular bedtime around 7pm. If naps are shorter one day or night sleep is more disruptive, do an early bedtime that day. When you get to 4 months, you’ll want to move to three naps at about 1h 20m each. The start times will be based on your baby’s body and daily modifications (music class, etc)
If you want to figure out your schedule, I recommend trying our 7 day free trial. It will help get those wake windows in check and you can see set times for naps. Our daily schedule does update based on your baby’s sleep each day (short naps, early wakings, etc), so focus on the recommended schedule on the settings tab as your starting point!
Hope that helps. Good luck, it’s a super exciting time and consistent naps are around the corner!
Hi there! Any suggestions for getting a one year old to nap a little longer? Our girl is 18 months and used to nap from 11:30 - 1:30 like a dream but lately her naps will only last 60 or 70 minutes.. Even if we stretch the morning wake window. She usually wakes up around 6 am, sometimes earlier. Her bedtime is between 7:15 and 7:30 depending on how her nap goes. Any advice is welcome! Thanks in advance!
How is her environment during that nap? Sometimes it can be as simple as adding black out shades. But since she was a 3 hour Napper before, it’s probably not that.
How is she sleeping at night?
Overall, It sounds like she has a great schedule! Is it a recent change and is she developmentally talking a lot more or being more active? Naps are when babies have more REM sleep, and that kind of sleep is when our brains process new skills. Sleep is essential for those massive brains we want them to have 😊 So, if she’s going through a big leap, her naps will be shorter and more disrupted because her brain is processing her new skills.
When that happens, our goal is to get her back on her 3 hour amazing nap schedule. So take those times you mentioned and say those are the times we are going to keep her in an environment conducive to sleep every day. Because of how the body clock works, it’s better to offer consistent times rather than change her wake windows. That means that we keep her in a dark, sound machine on space for 3 hours. Hopefully she is calm and happy and just resting her body during that time. If she starts calling for you (crying), you can decide how to approach it for your family. (In the Lovebug app, we teach three strategies for approaching any wakings during that set nap/body rest time- chair method, interval method or extinction method). Address that wake like you would a night waking.
But keeping her in that environment is going to communicate to her body that it’s sleep/rest time. Her naps will start to extend themselves, or she will just start to take quiet time. This will be important also as she grows up and grows out of her nap and into quiet time.
Hope that helps! If you want to chat through it, we have live Ask Me Anything’s on our Instagram every Thursday, and I’d be happy to workshop it with you!
I saw that someone recently posted some thing about moving their toddler to a big kid bed… I thought I would start by answering this question. Moving to a big kid bed can be a really troubling decision as a family because the child has to start putting boundaries on themselves to stay in their room rather than being in the safe confines of a crib. Because of that, my biggest recommendation is to start the transition to a big kid bed on the later side because your baby will be able to set those boundaries for themselves. Start to talk up a bed when they are around with other adults. Then, while coloring or some passive activity, ask them what they think of a big kid bed. If they express a strong desire to move to a big kid bed, the timing is right. If they are indifferent, it’s best to keep them in a crib. So, When they do express that desire, that’s when you start talking with them about the rules of being in a big kid bed. For example “when we are in a big kid bed, we don’t leave our room.” Then you can bring it back up during your bedtime routine, for example “if you want to be in a bed, do you understand the rules? We stay in the bed!” For a lot of kids, having a poster on the door is also helpful because they like the visual representation of the boundary. It can be a fun activity when you color the poster and put pictures of the rules.
This is another of our scheduled monthly AMA. Thanks u/thelovebuglife :-)
Those AMAs are hosted by actual sleep consultants, and we hope this helps the community and resolves your questions.
We are so excited to be here! Thanks for having us!