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droppedmmycroissant

1. I started Ferber only at bed time for two nights, doing 3/5/10/10 both nights. (The purpose of this for me was to 'ease into it' however I don't know if that really made a differnce or just prolonged the process, because you really need to be consistent with Ferber for it to work.) Then on day 3, I did 3/5/10/10 for all sleeps - that's naps, bedtime AND night wakes. Then days 4 same thing but with 5/10/12/12, then day 5 with 10/12/15/15 and so on as per Ferber chart above. It took six days (including the first two) for her to sleep through. 2. I'd stick to the classic 3/5/10/10 etc intervals. That's what worked for me. I haven't heard of a 2006 update. 3. You console him for 1 to 2 minutes maximum. Important note - the purpose of the check-ins are NOT to stop him from crying. The purpose is to let him know that you are still there for him, but it's bedtime now. You can also use this time to make sure he's not too hot, or done a poo etc. Maximum 2 minutes and do NOT pick him up. 4. Refer to answer #1, I think this is what you're asking? 5. Trust your initial instict, if you don't think he's anxious then he probably isn't. You know your bub best. 6. Ferber was successful for me. It took six days to work and then she was able to self settle on her own with no sleep associations, and she was able to link sleep cycles for naps and at night for long periods of time. However, on about the 8th night I went to stay at my sisters with bub in the portacot. Big mistake. The different environment threw her off, she kept waking and I didn't want her to wake everyone in the house by crying so I caved and brought her in bed with me. Huge mistake. When we got home she no longer self self settled and we were back to square one. I had to re-do Ferber all over again from 'Day 1'. It was easier this time and took only 2 days. They say you will have to re-do sleep training multiple times throughout their life due to illness, teething, holidays etc but that each time is easier than the last because they already know what to do so it's just a little refresher for them. Tips/important notes: - Be consistent. Ferber for naps, bedtime and night wakes. - Check-ins are not to stop baby crying, rather to let them know you are still there and you love them but it's bedtime now, and check for poo nappy etc. - Check-ins for a maximum of 2 minutes and don't pick baby up. - Also worth mentioning that Ferber does not work for me after about 4am/4:30am, without a feed that is. There isn't enough sleep pressure after almost a full nights sleep. So I have to feed her and then put her back down into the cot AWAKE, and she will self settle with a full belly. - Decide on a sleep phrase. Mine is, "It's bedtime now darling, I love you, good girl it's bedtime now," then two little pats on the bum and walk out. They eventually associate the phrase with it being bedtime now.


classycoconut520

We did Ferber at about 6 months. It took about 3 days but she usually sleeps through the night now. We did 3/5/10 intervals and only picked up if she was absolutely screaming but not for long. I usually just shushed and patted chest.


weddingthrow27

Number 1. It’s often recommended on this sub to start with nights and do naps later, but the actual Ferber book recommends doing it all at once. I’ve seen success stories both ways. We did it all at once and it helped very quickly. Number 2. You can use any intervals you are comfortable with, as long as they progressively become longer each time. And if you feel one day didn’t go very well, you can repeat those same intervals the next day before increasing. It’s flexible and all up to what you feel comfortable doing. I believe the 3/5/10 is the recommendation for day 1 in the Ferber book. Number 3. Keep it short. Try not to pick them up. They don’t need to be fully calmed down, the point is that they know you’re still there. Number 4. Yes, it’s meant to start right away. Some people will do other things to “prepare” beforehand but it’s not needed. Number 6. We started Ferber around 5-6 months and we were bracing ourselves for the worst. But it was very successful and she was sleeping drastically better after only like 4-5 days. Not perfect, and she still at 20 months is not the best sleeper, but it was a HUGE improvement right away for us. (I’m in mobile and it keeps trying to renumber my answers lol)


WhereIProcrastinate

We did Ferber at 5.5 months. Did bedtime only until she was putting herself to sleep in 5 minutes. Then did night wake ups where mostly she fell back asleep in 5 minutes. Then did the first nap of the day and then the second. She’s at the 3-2 nap transition so just leaving the last nap of the day to a feeding or contact nap. We did: day 1 - 3,5,8; day 2 - 5,8,12; day 3 - 5,10,15. For check ins I picked her up and soothed her until she was calm, then put her back down. She only ever needed 2 check ins max. She never went more than 10 minutes without a check in. She also doesn’t cry the whole time but oscillates between crying, fussing and cooing. Lucky for us she’s very good at self soothing with her hands. She was sucking her fingers before 3 months. You know your baby best. If they don’t really cry too hard or too long when hungry or tired I would go with the gentle approach of checking in every 5 minutes. And a check in should be whatever soothes your baby. Of course a lot of people here have babies that require full extinction, which I think is harder on the parents rather than the baby. Regardless, once they are putting themselves back to sleep in 10 minutes I bet they can’t even remember waking up. Don’t overthink it and just stick to whatever you decide and don’t deviate for the full 2 weeks


joycerie

I documented my ferber experience with my oldest a few years ago which should help answer 1,3,4,6, and 7. https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/comments/7vf77s/four_days_of_ferber_success_in_45_mo_long_wdetails/ Second son needed full extinction at 22 weeks. Zero regrets on sleep training my boys. Oldest is 5.5 and is an amazing sleeper (occasional developmentally appropriate regressions but then back to 11 hours straight). Youngest is 2.5 and is basically godzilla in human form but is an amazing sleeper and napper. Good luck and feel free to ask me any questions. I can only answer based on my experience but will do my best!


wildMoreWild

How to know that it is time for the baby to wake up. Our LO slept for 10 hours straight on the third day but started crying after waking up. We waited 10 minutes but still crying. So do we assume the sleep is complete or wait till 12 hours are complete? For reference for the first two days as well she woke up after 10 hours. First day she soothed herself and slept but again woke up and started crying. So we assumed it is time to pick her up.


joycerie

Anytime after 6am we considered awake for the day even if it wasnt the full 12 hours. 10 hours is a good stretch and that may be where her sleep needs are at this time while she adjusts to the new sleep patterns. I would get her up if she wakes up crying after a long stretch like that. Good luck and congrats on the 10 hour stretches!


wildMoreWild

Thanks for the response, this is reassuring. We were just worried thinking if we should wait 12 hours. Hope the fourth night is better.


DangerQ

I'm on day three of training my 8 month old. Shocked at how quickly it worked, there's no correct answer but I had a hunch that i could practice independant sleeping with his afternoon nap today and I put him down awake in a pitch black room and simply left the room and closed the door. He cried for 10 minutes and I soothed him by shushing through the door and gently talking to him for a couple of minutes. The moment I stopped shushing his crying started to peter out and then he stopped and fell asleep. He has been asleep for 90 mins. This basically never happened before. On night one I started off a bit ferber-y, although I'm just going by intuition rather than a set schedule and seeing how much I can endure. I rubbed his belly and patted him intermittently, and one time he cried so hard I lifted him, but only for a couple of mins. He cried for about 35 mins, then, for the first time in almost 4 months he slept 4 solid hours, had a brief waking which I was able to soothe in one minute, then he was back to sleep for another few hours. Sleep training is a miracle, stick with it, just endure the crying as much as you can, it requires you to get out of you comfort zone a bit.


SnooAvocados6932

Focus on bedtime, keep assisting naps. Nap train later once nights are addressed. A check-in is not to console baby. No patting, touching, holding. Should be 1 minute. Walk in, say “I love you, it’s time for sleep now,” walk out. It’s often said these check-ins are more for the parents than the child. I would recommend reading the book by Dr Weissbluth, Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child, before attempting this method. He is the original creator and it will answer all your questions. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0593158547/ref=dp_ob_neva_mobile


wildMoreWild

How to know that it is time for the baby to wake up. Our LO slept for 10 hours straight on the third day but started crying after waking up. We waited 10 minutes but still crying. So do we assume the sleep is complete or wait till 12 hours are complete? For reference for the first two days as well she woke up after 10 hours. First day she soothed herself and slept but again woke up and started crying. So we assumed it is time to pick her up.


SnooAvocados6932

Depends on baby’s age and rest of schedule. 12 hour nights are unrealistic for most babies.


wildMoreWild

Great! Thanks. She is 6.5 months old. I guess we should be satisfied with 10 hours as this is way better than before where every night she would wake up after 1.5 hours for light 2 minute feed. We were just worried if we should be waiting till 12 hours. Should have read the books, but this forum definitely helps.


SnooAvocados6932

At 6.5mo I’d recommend 3 hours total naps, awake time that equals 10 hours, for an 11 hour expected night.


wildMoreWild

Sure, she currently is around 3 hours nap time, but those are assisted naps. She normally wakes up after a 30 minute nap on the crib. We try to extend that by bringing her onto the bed and co-sleep for another half hour or so. But we will move on to nap training once she is done with the night sleep training.


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SnooAvocados6932

Nice! I would definitely think the consistent time limit is the most important. Generally it’s recommended to get naps however you can whole night sleep is spotty during training, but hard to argue with success in 3 days! What age was that? OPs baby is 10 months which will be longer/harder than a baby in 4-6mo range for sure.