T O P
Jesse-Pinkman_

Smartest TikTok user ever recorded:


otyerim-i_eat_grass

UWUH (the sound when she farts)


AutoModerator

Rawr x3 *nuzzles* how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o *notices you have a bulge* o: someone's happy *nuzzles your necky wecky*\~ murr\~ hehehe *rubbies your bulgy wolgy* you're so big :oooo *rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy* it doesn't stop growing ·///· *kisses you and lickies your necky* daddy likies (; *nuzzles wuzzles* I hope daddy really likes $: *wiggles butt and squirms* I want to see your big daddy meat\~ *wiggles butt* I have a little itch o3o *wags tail* can you please get my itch\~ *puts paws on your chest* nyea\~ its a seven inch itch *rubs your chest* can you help me pwease *squirms* pwetty pwease *sad face* I need to be punished *runs paws down your chest and bites lip* like I need to be punished really good\~ *paws on your bulge as I lick my lips* I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk *unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow* you smell so musky :v *licks shaft* mmmm\~ so musky *drools all over your cock* your daddy meat I like *fondles* Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe *puts snout on balls and inhales deeply* oh god im so hard\~ *licks balls* punish me daddy\~ nyea\~ *squirms more and wiggles butt* I love your musky goodness *bites lip* please punish me *licks lips* nyea\~ *suckles on your tip* so good *licks pre of your cock* salty goodness\~ *eyes role back and goes balls deep* mmmm\~ *moans and suckles* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


UltimateCumDispenser

I’m actually an Empath too! I get dark energy vibes every time I see someone with brown skin.


3AD_EhSeaPee

You're absorbing the energy from their skin. Stop it. They need that energy. Get your own.


UltimateCumDispenser

No. My dark brown energy.


3AD_EhSeaPee

\>:D


UltimateCumDispenser

Only long brown shafts can sustain me


FeIipeNeto

- Trees


UltimateCumDispenser

Twix chocolate bars


Yuri-knows-makarov

your losing a vocabulary word!


UltimateCumDispenser

Oh naw :(


dodo1287

I DON- I don't know.... I can't figure out if is this an insult or technically the truth. /s


UltimateCumDispenser

Neither. It’s a joke.


dodo1287

Fk i forgot to add /s


JonEregor

and u just let them live?


J_Ok3R

I’m an empath as well, I sense dark energy every time I see George W. Bush


EpicIzAwesom

I sense dark energy when I see your mother (Its don't actually sense it, I'm bad at understanding emotions so the dark energy is actually just me being horny for your mom)


AutoModerator

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AggressiveSmoke4054

Wtf is with these bots…


violence_connoisseur

Was about to say, some nimble misdirecting by the CIA, fooled even empaths


Available-Leek-4160

im an empath too i sensed when the mods made the automod annoying. i sensed dark energy


AutoModerator

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


CoconutGator

I’m an empath I can tell when I need to shit or when it’s just a fart


botask

at least in 60% of cases


anepicusername69

i hate tiktok


superuwuforever

I share the feeling and I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with that


dado950

You're obviously an empath!


[deleted]

As an empath, I sense bad things from Russia


AutoModerator

\*East Ukraine *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


the_one_true_boii

This is by far the least funny thing i have ever seen in my entire life


AutoModerator

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Pizza-pen

Well, it was just a prank.


dado950

Being a dumbass is a prank? It could've been satire or a joke, but definitely not a prank


Total_Presentation43

Reddit mfs when TikTok does satire


Sukuru_Aidoru

🐮


Past_Basket_2755

As an empathy I can say I feel strange everytime I get an erection. I get this weird energy.


juice_fella

“I’m an empath” mfs when they discover basic human emotion


Xx_Stealth_xX

Mate what was he going to do to stop it? Use choas control?


ZeroXa2306

Shove the emerald up laden's ass


Xx_Stealth_xX

or that too


SackNaps

Least cringe gen Z conversation


AutoModerator

I’m a Harvard graduate. Ph.D. IQ of 138 (Stanford-Binet). Sex Pundit. Mensa International. Free-thinking alpha male and lone wolf. Likely hotter than you, and definitely smarter. Debate me; I'm ready. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*