Ladies who had trouble orgasming during sex, what finally did it for you?
By - LeekOk8713
It took me a long time to realize I lose a little bit of clitoral sensitivity when I'm penetrated so understanding helped me.be more patient.
But what usually works is positioning myself so my clit rubs against my partner. My husband has learned to position himself a certain way on top to enable this.it takes a little while of steady motion in that position to get there.
The right partner who wanted me to enjoy it as much as possible. And it wasn't even a long term partner, just a guy from tinder. He asked me what he could do to make me cum and then he did it as long at it took. And I wasn't able to cum before in my 4 year long relationship. So I guess you really need the right guy. I have troubles to do it to myself during sex (I am shy and not completely comfortable with that yet) so if you have the same problem, you need someone who is willing to work for it for you, haha.
We started by just doing mutual masturbation, then he started using his hands to help while I used my vibrator, then we did missionary while i would use my vibrator (without the goal of orgasming, just for fun), and slowly worked our way to me being able to orgasm while we were having sex.
i (26f) could easily make myself cum with or without toys like you. i would get close with other partners but i would never actually finish like you (unless i was on top but only *very* rarely - like one or two times).
what “did the trick” for me was my partner (31m) - now my fiancé lol. the only 2 things i can think to attribute it to would be:
1. his effort. i’ve been with about 30 different partners sexually (some women most men). some of them tried to get me off a bit but nothing like what my fiancé does. he’s just VERY attentive in bed. like he watches me and pays close attention to every reaction i make and starts slow to take his time and tries different angels and what not. i’ve never had sex with a guy like that before. he could just read me very well i guess, from the beginning.
2. comfortability. i’ve been married before and obviously i was very comfortable with my exhusband, and i did love him, but i still didn’t feel confident/comfortable enough to REALLY let go in front of him. let him see my “i’m cumming” face and make the noises that just naturally come out of me. being that vulnerable with someone (for me at least) requires lots of comfortability with the person. the more i am able to “let go” the harder, faster and more frequent i can cum. this i also only feel with my fiancé.
so my main answer would be that you have to find the right partner. for me at least that’s what i needed. i know people are going to say it shouldn’t be dependent on someone else but everyone’s different.
EDIT: it might be important to note that i pretty much only cum from penetration (no clit involvement) which i think is not super common.
I have only masturbated on my stomach ever since I was a kid, and so when I finally came while having sex I figured I’d do what I always did alone, but while in cowgirl.
It’s still a bit of work, I’m not always in the mood to orgasm while having sex. Some of the best sex I’ve ever had I didn’t orgasm
I’m also a stomach masturbator. Glad to see I’m not alone.
I’ve tried multiple times on my back and it always sucked so bad! I have to try so hard and the o itself is always so weak 😭
wait, dont get me wrong im curious, i never masturbated laying on my stomach, do u lay on ur arm? how does it work? i wanna try now but i seriously dont know how u mean it like, with the hand over the back? im such a doofus pls explain:)
Learning that most people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and that it's unreasonable to assume penetration alone will do the trick. And then incorporating clit stimulation into PIV.
Not everyone can climax during piv. It doesn't mean you're broken. Far as with a partner in general. You've conditioned yourself to respond in a specific way.
The best way to recondition yourself is to masturbate in front of your partner. Use sensory deprivation if nessary in tje beginning as just them being in the room can be an issue.
Eventually you'll become comfortable achieving orgasm with them present. Next show them what you were doing in detail having them provided the stimulus. Guide them as necessary.
Use sensory deprivation again if necessary. Eventually you will have the ability to climax from their efforts. After that you can explore and find new ways to get there.
This has worked for me and us more than once.
Best of luck.
Depending on position if during piv , use fingers or vibrator. Or oral sex / fingers / vibrator before or after piv.
Also the placement of your clitoris to vaginal opening can make a difference. So different men , angle or movement in certain positions ie missionary or girl on top work for me
So weird but true I read years ago about the benefits of damiana tea for sexual issues as I was in the exact same boat. I used it for a few weeks and noticed an increase in how wet I could get and eventually learned how to orgasm. This could be 100% placebo coupled with my intentions to learn how to regularly reach orgasm; but if your doctor says your good to use damiana tea I don't think it hurts anything.
you might be feeling watched so perhaps try blindfolding your partner! if you can come this way, you'll get used to coming with someone and then you can remove the blindfold eventually
A partner who cares about my pleasure.
Position is everything for me. For some reason I struggle unless I am belly down to the bed touching my clit while he’s behind/on top
Accepting that if I didn't communicate with my partner I'd be doomed to shit sex forever! (We have been together for many years and this was a problem at first however even in the early days I knew he was a keeper.) I started bringing myself to orgasm with him next to me and I stopped all of the hints as he wasn't picking up on them or would take them as a sign I was significantly closer to orgasm than I was. I directly asked for many many different things until we found things that genuinely worked. He has been able to make me cum hard for many years now, no longer needs directions and correctly reads my body language.
My wife (f64) told me she never orgasmed before she met me (m60). Clarification:she never squirted/orgasm before. My question is for those whose SO can do this to you with their fingers. I am make my wife come every time by using two fingers. Is it normal that my fingers,hand,elbow literally give out while doing this. I do this so forcefully that sometimes my arm is sore the next day. Don’t get me wrong. I feel like a champ! But,do other women need this level of force?
On top with him rubbing my clit --> works every time :D