By - whyamihere189
It’s never too late to make changes that will hopefully benefit YOUR life or situation.The sooner the better, you also need to consider the impact it could have on your lifestyle or dependents. Otherwise get yourself financially set for a few months to learn/train on new skills. And go be that butterfly you seek.
Thanks, I do have savings and no dependents so should be ok.
I changed my life for the better at 33, you'll be fine
I committed to taking action towards the things I wanted and took calculated risks along the way.
Free up time by going part time in your job and living a minimalist life
No dependents? Go back to school my friend and get as much education as you can. You got this!
- Start going to the Gym. Lift weights 4x a week. Get on a wholefoods, high protein diet with lots of vegetables
- Leverage whatever experience you have to try out a new job role, maybe get into a trade (electrician, plumbing etc.) or spend money to go to a Coding Bootcamp and become a web developer/software developer
- Start paying more attention to your presentation. Dress sharper, wear nice colognes, get a nice haircut.
- Search up business/networking events in your city & go to some, meet new people. Who knows what opportunities are out there.
"I am stuck in a low paid job" - OP
"You just need to spend money, spend money, spend money, and spend more money" -ppl in this thread
I signed up for a school training to work program the state Im in was offering for free. It was specifically to get low income rural area residents where it's low opportunity for them to do so.
The program completed by connecting you with companies in that prospective field.
Gotta get creative in a sense OP, and look behind the obvious. Do your research and there's alot of programs of assistance for lower income folks. But they don't promote it and it's on you to put in the some of applying to them. It was their first time offering the program and I just happened to be searching around for jobs that I've always been interested in but stuck at meddling low wage ones.
See how that shit works.. more often than not in this life. It's not about what you think of at some professional jerk off networking convention. But part of socializing and meeting people can change the trajectory of your life by exposing you to opportunity in profound ways. And I leave naysayers where they are.
Yes, why consider what is meaningful in life when you can just go to networking events instead? Live the American dream
They aren’t mutually exclusive.
He was trying to be helpful and supportive. He didn't say networking was the panacea.. he was coming up with suggestions that could help OP expand his network and be exposed to potentially life changing opportunities.
I would suggest that none of those ideas are helpful or supportive. They are far more likely to overwhelm someone struggling with mental health issues. But it's a good opportunity for semi-successful business people to parrot what they read in a some bullshit personal improvement book.
I agree. Baby steps.
You can totally do this! Go crazy, be adventurous! It's not how young you are (yes 30 is young) but how the days are long but the years are short. Think back a year ago, do you wish you started then? You will feel this same way one year from now. Go for it!
Yes you can especially carer wise.
When I was 25 found a girlfriend, we dated for a while, then moved in together. The main problem for me was that I was earning just bare minimum, and she was earning double of that.
Realised that have to do something about it. But what? I don’t have any money. Everything I earn I spent on car and a rent. In fact I don’t have even a time to learn something new because have to work 60h per week.
But sad “fuck it” if I don’t do anything then I will be a looser all my life. So decided to get higher education, did some research. And looks like in my country government gives loans for it. So this will be covered and studies are three years long. But the problem was that I won’t have money to support myself during three years. Also I don’t believe working and studying at the same time, cause the work will interfere with the studies.
So decided not to apply this year but the next one. And during that extra year I will save money. Besides I was 26 already 1 year more didn’t make any difference. I sold my car and started to spend less. In addition, did some research about the course I wanted to do, and started learning it. Bought second handed books and started doing exercises. I remember it used to be funny, when my gf friends would come over and see me literally doing math exercises, and I was not even studying at that time. I swear god no one believed me that I will go to uni, not my gf, not even my parents. Anyhow,
1 year forward, I applied to uni, got accepted, received the loan, and also got some money for living cost. So with that and with my savings I have managed. Obviously during summer holiday had to work. The first 2 years studies were really easy, cause did some work a year before.
Graduated with 1st honour bachelor degree. I was 30 years at that time. Straight away found a job. I remember that job paid exactly as my girlfriend was earning. So was very happy.
4 years forward, and currently I am earning over six figures and this is just entry level management position salary.
Hope my story will give u some hope in self improvement . Good luck.
Out of curiosity what degree did you earn and what job?
This is really great and inspiring, if I can go back to uni I think that would be a good start.
Great one...I am really happy for you.
Personally the part where your girlfriend was by your side all the while touched my heart.
All the very best ahead!!
The first step is deciding you want to change. Sounds like you’re there!
Change takes time, and you have lots of time ahead of you. Be patient with yourself and you can do it.
Give yourself small and specific challenges that get you moving in the right direction but don’t become too overwhelming that you wind up doing nothing. The small wins help give you motivation to do more.
If you keep pushing yourself in manageable ways, you’ll look back after a while and be amazed at how far you’ve come overall. A lot of people try and completely overhaul themselves overnight (i.e. New Years Resolutions) and that doesn’t work.
Good luck - you’ve got this!
Thank you, yes I want to be patient and not get disheartened by thinking ahead too much.
It's all step by step. Read "designing your life", it's a great book about that :) good luck in your journey, it can be hard but so worth it!
Someone said something along the lines: change is hard, but what's harder is to remain that person you don't want to be
It might be too spiritual for some, but I also recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It's helped me immensely with getting out of the past/future anxiety loop of regretting the past and worrying about the future. Connecting more deeply with the present is an incredible freedom I didn't know I had access to.
Is it possible to change your life at 30? Yes!
Is it possible for you? Idk but if you doubt yourself, it most likely will be impossible.
Our society is cursed for glorifying youth so much that some people try to artificially turn back time by regaining their physical youth and reliving their mental youth. But let me tell you something, they chase something that they’re not able to catch. If you are 30 and healthy you will most likely live at least 30 more years, so it’s not to late!
To your other question. You should definitely define goals. Sort them by importance. For example, career over relationships because a healthy relationship could require a stable income for kids, house, car and stuff. I would say write all your goals down and sort them by importance, but only do 2-3 of them, you can’t become a good earning sales man a fulltime gamer and a pro boxer at the same time, because they require micro and Makro steps you maybe don’t have at the moment. Maybe start with: 1.career 2. health (physical and mental) and 3. social life on a platonic level. If you are at a certain level you don’t need to focus so much on these things, you can just run them on autopilot. If you have a strong routine for your meals and workouts you don’t think about that so much.
Here comes the next tip: simplify! Don’t do a 3 hour Arnold workout, start with a 45 min workout that’s easy to do 2-3 times a week. Eat foods that don’t require a Michelin chef. And so on.
This could be the most important tip: emotions! Ask yourself what it would feel like to live a life not fulfilling any of this dreams, what it would feel like to suffer from not knowing how it could have been. (Negative Emotions work better than positives but you can use them too). And journal your goals every week. Write it down in different words so it comes back to life again and again. It becomes clearer to you with more knowledge than before, as you progress.
And my last tip: never surrender, as long as you breath it’s not over.
Good luck and have fun on your journey.
Thanks so much, I will definitely want to start with my career and health, will also start journalling.
Nice man, and what I forgot to mention is that you should definitely work on your sleep. Read into sleeping habits, and get some good rest. So you don’t get distracted by low energy.
This is the best advice on this post !
Of course you can. Obviously it will be harder than changing your life at 16 or even 21, but it will be far easier now than at 40, 50, 60 etc. So you better get started. Wishing you luck
You know 30 years old is still effing young right? You can live until 80... you still got 50 years ahead of you. Considering the fact you can literally change your life around in 1 year, just go for it man.
30’s a great time to step into a new chapter in your life. It’s not a matter of throwing away everything that came before; you’re building on what you’ve already done.
You might have 30-35 years of working life left. That’s enough time to try out lots of different skill sets and career areas.
Best of luck!
What field are you in?
Nice. I am going back to school for something computer science-related myself.
Do it dude, all of my friends with those degrees are making bank.
Man this is like everyone on Reddit’s answer to how they turned their life/career around and it’s really making me question my path.
Reddit just has me thinking IT is like a golden ticket
Lmfao damn I really set that up perfect for you
IT, Data, SWE.. it's a reflection of the times we live in
Yeah, you’re too old. After 30 it’s game over. This will be as good as it gets.
Lol no you’re just getting started. It’s never too late to change your life. Plenty of success stories of people changing their lifes in their forties and fifties
Yup you can. I'm almost 27 and I've gone through a major change in my life the last couple months. It's never too late to change.
In the mid-nineties, when I turned 30 and was wondering what it was all about Alfie, I quit my factory job, took out a student loan, and took the computer stuff at a college for 4 years. Graduated with honors. I worked in corporations for the next 25 years. The money was better and I have good (not great) savings to hopefully last further down the road until I reach the clearing at the end of the path. Warning: While the money was better the social quality of work life was not necessarily a step up. There is more toxicity and fear in a corp office than out on the factory floor. It's a tangible, real thing.
This honesty is so essential to good advice, thank you!
I'm about to turn 33. A little over a year ago I was sleeping on the floor in the basement of a law off I didn't work at. I was terribly unhealthy and addicted to alcohol. I had zero savings to show for my 10+ years of bartending. I had a major cardiac event caused by my life style and had to be cardio inverted (the reverse of defibrillation) in an ambulance. Today I'm 380 days sober, I have my own apartment and I'm working a job where I can make 10-20k a month. You absolutely can change your life and once you start its addictive. I'm actually legitimately excited to see what I can do in my 40s! Never thought I'd be where I am today. You just have want it and be willing to put it the work.
Can I ask what job you are working at now? Well done on making all the positive changes in your life!! It’s not at all easy so congratulations on the self improvement that you’ve worked hard for
I'm selling cars.
Absolutely never too late ! Im almost 30 and feel so so young.
Read the book atomic habits - really helps you kick start healthy daily habits. Try and join a local club to make friends; or join a local club with an interest of yours like book club, video games hiking etc
Dude, I'm discovering how I like to work and what I would like to do for a living for the rest of my life at almost 30 years old. And that makes me feel like a student getting out of college in his early 20s. You're not old or young, your attitude is. Keep that always in mind. Go ahead and start working on whatever you desire. Don't think about time. Things happen in the only way and time they can.
Im 29 and just moved into my car to travel. We are still young!! You will only regret the chances you didn’t take :)
Google Rich Roll. This guy became an ultra athlete on 40. While being on a plant based diet. And an ex-alcoholic. That’s madness and I wouldn’t have believed it if he wasn’t doing a podcast and actually see how he is. If he can do it at 40, you damn as well can do it at 30.
Wow you make solid points. Take my like!
Well I gladly will!
Thanks! Looks very inspiring.
This is great, I think I will aim to go back to studying.
> I am stuck in a low paid job and in a career I don't like, I would like to try something else. I would also like to go out more and try new things, as I've been an introvert and socially anxious most of my life.
This was me at around your age. I decided to finally work on getting my degree. School did a lot to help with the introverted mindset and the social anxiety and the degree helped me have more career options with much better pay. I think 30 a great time to change your life, personally.
I'm back in school at 29 to finally finish my bachelor's. I still have 2 more years but time is gonna go by anyway and I could be 31 with no degree or 31 with a degree. It is definitely not easy working full time and going to school full time, but lots of people do it even with kids. Thankfully I have no kids so I have more flexibility. I think you said you have no kids too. Take advantage of that right now.
This quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald keeps me going when I think I'm "too late" in life:
"For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again."
It takes courage to make a change. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. If you're dissatisfied with your life right now (as I am), do something different. Make a change now. It's not easy but it's possible. And definitely not too late. Best of luck
1 hour working out or jogging. 5x times a week
1 hour of reading per day (preferably self help book but anything your passion about)
NO SKIP OR CHEATING ! Those 2 really helped me.
The thing I heard about changing my life when you feel it’s too late is “It may take years of effort, but in 5 years you’re gonna be 35 either way, would you rather be 35 with years of progress towards your goal, or would you rather be 35 in the same place?”
Oh, hahaha! You think you're old -- wait until you're 40. Hahaha! Lok at me -- I'm 70, and I'm changing my life around AGAIN. My hahaha's are in recognition of the absurdity of our plight. Life = Change. And change hurts. But if we refuse change or try to evade change, are we really living? Live live live. Sometimes, you can choose to hold 'em because you're right in the middle of something bigger. But it sounds like you're looking for your mission, so it's time to learn dynamic change.
Go to your local library and community college. Use their computers to take aptitude tests -- this should partially shield you from for-profit shills -- and just be casual and honest with your answers. You will be amazed by the LONG list of vocations algorithmically selected by you as you honestly, objectively, casually answered.
I guarantee that at least some of the suggestions will resonate, and you can begin investigating the ones that you like best. When I did this, even my dead-end job felt easier to bear. It took some time to put my new world together, and my dead-ender seemed more meaningful because it funded my learning and growing.
I beg of you to think broadly at this point. "Success"? You must admit that you did something important today by writing this and posting it to Reddit -- but do you understand how valuable? You made something from nothing. Good on you. Success. Huge success. Mark it. You DO have a calendar for such things. "Planning"? Some parts of the planning process include ridiculous sidetracks, episodes of crippling fear and self-doubt, but to keep stumbling forward is to be productively planning. All of the things you have to do are planning activities even if you don't immediately get results. Be available to uncertainty. "But I hate people who . . ." Please don't hold yourself back by being narrow-minded about yourself or anyone else. Your path forward may lead you through new or strange people/situations/cultures. Do not be afraid. Be observant, but not judging. Be receptive -- and you do not have to be loud about that. Be kind.
I am amazed and inspired by you, Dear Stranger. I've been procrastinating about some new activities myself, and I am going to succeed and plan again at last. Thanks for the push.
Thank you so much. I think for me it is getting over those doubts and pushing forward. Good luck with whatever new you are planning!
Quite honestly, I needed therapeutic help with doubts. On my own, I could never see beyond the what-ifs, the historic "failures" and other self-limiting beliefs and stories. It's point-of- view, my friend, but you can't see what you can't see. Learning requires failure, so you must look at your history with new eyes. You must look at the future with rosy glasses, not jaded green-eyed monstrous ones. A therapist taught me some questions to ask myself in order to return to reality from anxiety. I learned to use a cathartic writing process and a meditation process, BUT I made a lot of progress even as I carried HUGE loads of doubts and fears by using the tools of rational-emotive psychological therapy.
I think tl/dr = fake it til u make it.
You can definitely do this!
My suggestion would be to find people involved in certain areas of careers that interest you. Conversation at a mechanic shop, talking with someone who works a government job (can be very cushy, pay decent, have amazing benefits, retirement package, and opportunity to move up in ranks quickly once you have your foot in the door).
I would also suggest looking into things that really interest you but require time and effort to get into it. For example, one of my friends got really really really into 3d printing, and now makes things for Etsy. He unleashes his creativity and finds things he can invent/create and sell for a decent profit. He started by learning about it at his local library, then made a bunch of prints of things to sell locally, and funded his own 3d printer. Now, his basement has about 20 high end 3D printers always working and cranking out deck boxes for a collectible card game, and some other silly things as well.
Thank you, I am trying to find something I am interested in and has good job prospects.
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I started writing last year (age 32). I haven't made a profit from it but each day is important, because there is growth. So, I put in 1 to 8 hours a day (while working full-time).
At the bare minimum there will be self-actualization.
You can always turn your life around, and it helps finding something that matters to you.
>Can I change my life around at 30?
>I am stuck in a low paid job and in a career I don't like, I would like to try something else. I would also like to go out more and try new things, as I've been an introvert and socially anxious most of my life.
>Every time I think about this, I get discouraged that I will be too old if I do manage to change things.
The past is gone. Do not think that your past mistakes will determine your future. You haven't wasted that time - you've got a great intro to a TED talk right there. Now go write the second half.
>How can I change my mindset to start working on myself and not spiral into doing nothing most days?
If you wait for the right mindset untill you feel good enough to start working on yourself then you will be waiting forever.
Feelings follow actions.
**You can't think your way into positive actions, you have to act your way into positive thinking**
Action is the antidote.
>How can I change my mindset
By **becoming** better ...a better man.
Untill you become a better YOU, everything else that you want will elude you.
You have to first master yourself before you achieve anything because YOU are in the way...your mood, your bad habits, your lack of desire etc etc.
Everything that is wrong with you is stopping you from being successful.
**Build the best you first**
You can change your life at any age.✨ Age is a concept. If you think life ends at 30, uhhh that is going to severely impact you. It is a totally bogus belief that is frankly impeding our collective energy.
Let me break down some beliefs that are a **jail** locking you in. A confident individual will not seriously entertain such beliefs because they know...they will suck the life out of you.
1. I am stuck.
2. I get discouraged.
3. I can't change life at 30.
4. I'm socially anxious.
Alternative Ideas: Write them down and repeat in the morning/at bed time while imagining them positively. They might seem like foreign concepts at first until they sink in.
1. I'm always free to change directions.
2. I encourage myself to try new things.
3. I am curious.
4. I can change life any time I want.
5. I'm moving in the right direction.
6. Everything is within my reach.
7. I am building my personal power.
8. I enjoy people. I enjoy listening and helping them.
9. I gently let go of limiting beliefs.
I just posted a new lecture to my profile that goes into details of self-concept and self-esteem solutions if you need more ideas.♾️
I'm 51 years old and I am starting my own business this year in a completely different field than what I studied in college. And I have a Master's degree! It's never too late to have the life you want. You just have to look fear in the eye and not flinch. Best of luck to you!
Let me try the opposite side for a sec:
No, you absolutely cannot try ANYTHING different after 30. That's the cutoff. No more changes. You can't start a new company, even if you've got a great idea. You can't change jobs. Nope.
Between now and the next FIFTY years of your life, you are not allowed to change anything. Even though you're barely 35% into the full range of your growth you're done.
Doesn't that sound ridiculous?
It does, I needed to hear this.
Of course you can !
Can you imagine someone saying "no, you can't"? What would you have done then?
Amazing story brother! Congrats!!
Well, are going to get older no matter what, so you can either stay the same and be 35 in a few years or change and be different at 35. I switched careers at 31 after being in my industry for 12 years and pursued a relevant degree at 33. Graduated at 37 and now manage a pediatric clinic while I figure out grad school.
Don't blame yourself for things that aren't within your control. If you want to make a change in your life then start by making small changes, don't aim for a whole transformation in a matter of weeks because that will dishearten you. Be sure to work on yourself physically and mentally and then accept the results.
When else are you going to do it?
Aaaah that’s the same situation I was in. I just started searching people on bumble to get out and look their I’ve got some people in my life. Was introverted af too but I just wanted to change that so hard that I just started. The start ist hard but after that you feel so much better. You don’t have to think on do something or how you can change that and just think about something just stand up get out do stuff you wanna try and go for it! New Hobby you are interested in? Just go for it! Your life and mindset will change automatically! You can do it I believe in you and stay strong <3
Possible at any age as long as you're willing to put in the work. Media, zeitgeist would have you believe otherwise (i.e. somethings are best done at a young age and so on), it's complete BS, certain corner cases aside, the world is your playground, play hard my friend!
I am 30 as well, and in the process of a complete career shift.
The average age of a journeyman electrician is 42 years old. It takes around four years from entry-level to reach journeyman. You've got time. It's still incredibly early.
Don’t worry about what other people think! Go get that bread!
I started at 38
Yes. Emphatically yes. I have reinvented myself career wise 5 times and I am at 50 going for an engineering degree to change it yet again. Start with a class at a local community College doing something different than what you would usually do
I did! You can too!
You’re not too old and you won’t get any younger. Go for it
I’m 32, have a 5 year old and might possibly be pregnant by accident now.. I would be due December 30th if so. I’m enrolled in a 2 year electrical engineering program, starting this coming fall. I will be continuing in school pregnant or not. I have my fiancé & father of my kid(s) to help but it’s not going to be easy. Anything worth while isn’t easy to do though and I will overcome any obstacle that may come my way and succeed. I have a coworker in her 50’s who’s in university now, she was a highschool drop out. It’s only too late if you believe it is.
Thank you, and good luck!
At 28, I left stressful manager job and started to pursue career in the fire service. Took class after class, started as volunteer. Then moved onto part time jobs. After getting experience and education, I got first career Fire Department job at 32. I’m 46 now and still smile in the mirror seeing myself in my uniform. I bet on myself and worked hard to make it happen. Hard to believe but being firefighter is less stressful than selling soda.
Bonus of it all, I’ll retire probably a decade sooner than if I stayed at old job.
Bet on yourself, work at your dream, make it happen, you can do it!
Time to get trained for a better career. Personally I'm a software developer and make six figures from that.
Yes I was thinking about software development because of job prospects and career progression.
Yeah, you can earn six figures in just a few years, working remote, and only 4 hours day. But going into programming requires that you put all your free time into it. No more fun for a couple years. But if you do it, money will no longer be a problem for you again. Marry a high earning woman, and now you two are earning 200K+
Im 22 in a union electrician apprenticeship, on our third week of school. In my class of 15, there’s a 38 year old, a 28 year old, a 30 year old, a 24 year old with two kids, and someone else in his ~40s. Go for it
Would you consider moving to a new town/city? There might be a different set of opportunities in a new place.
I decided to change my life at 30 after a bad break up. On paper I did, in that I transformed my career but it was at the expense of everything else. I realised in lockdown that I don't really have any good relationships with people or hobbies or interests. I cut a ton of toxic people off (including a sibling). It had to be done.. but I am left with this hole. The job pays well but it is not rewarding at all, but if I lose that.. I will have absolutely no "life". So my advice is to take a balanced approach to all the changes you want to make/see.
I'm not sure I would want to change cities, there are more opportunities here than anywhere in the country. And yeah it might be too many changes at once.
Yes. I was almost 40 when I got my Ph.D. and have had a long career as a college professor.
Do you know your skills? If you do, improve them. You don't absolutely need to go back to school. Study hard, practice and put yourself out there. I turned my life around at 38. I was a mother of two, miserable and working for the past 10 years In a contact center. Depressed, suicidal... I had a degree in communication but only worked in the field very briefly. All it took was for a stranger to tell me that with my degree, I could work in marketing. So I started to study it, thanks to Google. I put myself out there, no longer afraid or making excuses. In half a year I got a new job and I love it!
Edit to add: do not make the mistake of taking one step in 5 directions. Take 5 steps in one direction , focus on what you are good at and makes you happy!
If you're still breathing you can still change your life
Last year I turned thirty and I decided I wanted change too. I had been working from home, part time, as a freelance web designer for 8 years, building a family, but I'd lost touch with myself and my own dreams and I had a negative self image. I decided to get a gym membership, and I started doing a lot of yoga at home and at the studio. I found I was really passionate about yoga, so I took a yoga teacher training and now I have 2 jobs teaching yoga and I'm way more fit and flexible than I was a year ago. I really feel like I'm making a difference now whereas before I just felt like a code monkey, never directly interacting with people. I was also able to quit smoking weed which was majorly holding me back and causing me to feel really guilty. Now I have more friends, I make more money, and my anxiety is much more manageable than it was a year ago. It's never too late!! Start taking those baby steps towards a better you.
I studied a BEd at 28 and became a register teacher at 32. Still a shy introvert, but studying at 30 is possible.
Course you can! You just have to start by helping yourself. Do what makes you feel good. Take care of you self; eat cleaner, go for walks, stay on top of chores by doing little things here and there. Take it one step at a time. I recommend you read the book ‘the secret’. Best of luck and positive vibes to you 😎
30s is the perfect time for this change. Your at the right time in your life for it. Look into the trades they pay very well after awhile. Get a hobby, take a class get out of your comfort zone, don't think about it, just do it.
I am at 28 and in the same situation. To complicate matters, my parents are dependent on me. I am not married yet. I want to overhaul my life too. I had an amazing opportunity in a startup. They are a mixture of Fintech, Healthtech and HrTech. But I couldn't take the risk because of dependents.
I'm changing my life around at 43. So, I'm pretty sure you're good.
YES! ITS NEVER TOO LATE
I’m also 29 and understand what you mean. Having said that, we are still young. I remember thinking I was old at 25 and honestly now I could do anything to go back in time. It’s just the mind fooling us into staying where we are. Just go for what you want unabashedly.
I know it's an old thread, but no dependants AND you have savings? Your set m8. You'll be lonely in the beginning but don't look back and count your blessings man.
I sincerely wish you the best... As a 30+ guy changing my life too ;p
Cheers dude, wish you all the best too.
I don't know if you allaborated at all. Just curious too what are you trying to change in your life?
You stuck in a rutt and just want more?
Cause I've never found a safe place to live since I moved out at 17, and have been trying to traverse this fkn maze of society with a bum map and a broken compus.
I'm now 32 and finally found a safe place to live and can think straight, going to apply to a union next month and hope to God I get in and can finally support myself. Kind of been a Rambler my whole life 😅
Yeah pretty much stuck in a rut. That sounds really rough, I'm sort of the opposite in the way that I've always lived in the same place and been fairly overprotected by my parents. I just ended up very introverted and shy. I just want to get a well paid job so I can start living independently and also get out and do new things and meet people. I've never even been on a date lol, although with that one I don't even know where to start...
As scarfac3 saids. Firs you get the Money, then you get the power, then you get the women.haha
Seriously though, I was the same I had major anxiety and paranoia untill I started working on heavy machinery. Then I stoped giving a crap what people said/thought because I had a job to do. It's made me more confident and understanding as a person.
I also did what Tony Robbins says write down the type of life/person you want to be and hyper focus baby steps daily to become that guy.
Want to get in shape then I guess a short walk this week is in order, and next week 1 short walk on Wednesday, then next week 2 short walks.
But to say the least. I put myself purposely in uncomfortable situations (not risky) to grow as a person confidence comes from mastery and control over things I think. I've also taken the advice of don't go looking for a women, become a man women want to be with, I'm actually taking a break to focus on career and purposely avoiding women because there a real drain on resource and distraction if your foundation is fkd... Which mine is right now haha.
You are few years earlier then me, I am in mid 30s...
I am trying hard and I am sure one day I will fix myself - physically , emotionally and financially.
And you can do it few years earlier then me .
Read good self help books, make notes for your self depending on your situation and most important ACT.
I am reading "The 5 Second Rule" it's a nice book which is helping me to reduce overthinking .
I loved "who moved my cheese" , its very inspiring and a catalyst for change.
You can do it I am sure but the key is to ACT .
Thank you for the recommendations and I wish you all the best.
Pop 25 r30s
I'm almost 40 and I'm fucked because of my dependants.
Don’t be afraid to try and disperse your time to your new shift in life and your current life simultaneously. People discourage it because they’re thinking about totally pulling out of one life and entering another without much experience which would be really hard, especially for introverts who are creatures of habit and comfort.
Overtime, after testing the waters you’ll become more acclimated to your new direction and can set yourself up nicely and leave your past.
It’s never to late to do anything, except when you take brownies out of the oven way after they’re done baking! 😂 good luck.
You’ll be the same age in 10 years if you do or don’t. Age isn’t a factor in this. Start small. Pick one goal, like sign up for a course at a community college, or walk a different path every day, or learn to bake a perfect cookie, whatever, just choose it and do it, then add another.
You'll grow older and be 45 and 50 whether you make a change or not.
Read the magic of thinking big PLLEEEEAAASE
Just commenting to say you are not alone
I made a huge life change around 35, married, two kids. Left a family business and started over.
I made an even bigger one at 47 after the kids were grown and gone.
People will tell you to chase your passion, do what you love, make changes, etc.
My experience is it’s hard. Depending on your personality, it’s stressful to very stressful.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t but you should be prepared.
I can also say that I’m making more money than I ever have in my life and I’m a better person from going through the experiences. I wish I’d made more changes sooner.
I’m 50 now. I’d love to be 30 again and have started these changes then.
Life is life. There are no do overs. You should find what you want in life and what makes sense (both) and be willing to work hard to attain it.
Read the book mindset.
It will get you out of the mindset of being too old, and provide you with an action plan for how to achieve what you are after.
Also read atomic habits
You can change your life at literally any point if you have the determination, ambition and the self confidence to do so. You can literally become a boxing champion if you put your mind to it right now. There’s nothing you CAN’T change about your life.
OFCOURSE YOU CAN !!
Check JULIENHIMSELF on YouTube he was even worse than your situation!
Try going to community college and just trying random classes to see what you like. Horticulture is a fun start because it's super chill and low stakes. Then if you like something keep taking classes, maybe finish a degree if you want, maybe get a new job, but either way it could be fun.
Be sure to talk to the financial office and see if you can get all the expenses covered by grants, if not, right now you're able to get the first $2000+ back on your tax return, so it's basically free.
If you're too anxious or unmotivated try watching the sitcom Community first. It's not exactly 100% realistic but it motivated me to go back to community college and I don't regret it.
Just do it! and see how your choices work out. "Action breeds clarity."
i just read the tittle and nothing else but yes, you can do it. Our mind is fucking us so we got to keep it in check, dont let it put you down. you got this
No, its over. All us older than you still trying to improve are just wasting our time. Thanks for the great post.
I changed my life at 29yo.
I had a bad job with a low salary, I sold my car, moved to another country, not a degree and restart from scratch a few years later, I became a Data Analyst.
So my answer would be yes BUT it depends where you are now, how hard you to change and if you are willing to play hard even if you have to sacrifice couple of months for securing your future.
Good luck my friend and do you best and don't give up
30 IS NOT OLD. You have most of your life to live. I felt the same exact way you do right now a few years ago. The thought that got me back into school to pursue what I want in life was “in ten years I will be 40 no matter what, so I can continue being miserable and be a miserable 40 year old or I can DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH MY LIFE”. We don’t get much time in this world so we should spend it trying to do what makes us happy. Too old only means something if we let it.
Fuck yeah you can. Look at it this way - you (presumably) have 30-40 years of working life left. Decades! Go get it - do what you want! If you don't, in five years you'll kick yourself for not. Especially because you have no dependants! Lol can you tell I'd like to live vicariously through you?
Yep. Shit can always get worse. Another way to look at it is that you are working to maintain. If you’re not homeless and starving you’re doing something right
I feel that way at 18. At age 45 you will say for sure too old. Just do now what at 45 you would want your 30 yr old self to have accomplished.
I'm doing it at 29, so it's possible
you’re never too old to make changes in your life!! I went to grad school with a guy who was old enough to be my dad (I was mid twenties at the time) because he wanted a career change. time is an illusion and life is too short to not be enjoying yourself ☺️
You definitely could. Good job on trying to change your circumstances and not staying in a mediocre life. Let me spam an already spammed, cliché quote here:
- "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
- "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
- "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
For ensuring you keep going towards your goal, an easy way is to make a schedule and stick to it. Make a schedule of a day you would like to have. This includes all even up to your time to sleep, fap, game, and meals.
Of course, go easy on the responsibilities at start, then reduce entertainments and add in more tasks over time when you get used to it. Do it slowly but surely.
Sticking to schedule really helps in helping you trust yourself more as you do what you wrote, and reduces anxiety as you already know roughly what is going to happen.
I did it at age 31. Got sober, addressed all of my trauma, because a better person, went to college, got all A’s, Now I’m graduating and going into the credential program to be a teacher. Don’t ever let age and culture stop you from living ur dreams.
30 is young still. contact your local IBEW and become an apprentice electrician. great career choice
Simple things work best bro.
I was in quite a similar situation. I can outline few things that worked for me
1) get a good self help book- could start with Jordan Peterson and atomic habit
2) Plan every morning and every night…
3) make sure you always celebrate your successes
4) if you fail, introspect but remember you failed because you tried in the first place
5) make an effort to chat to people— it’s gets simpler — just listen more than you speak
6) rehearse speaking if you know an important meeting is up
7) go cold turkey on drugs, alcohol, Xbox etc for atleast 6 months
8) workout - morning and evening… just start with a walk… keep it easy and never workout through any injury .. it will hurt uou more
9) use your smallest accomplishments to give yourself confidence to do bigger things
10) review in 6 months and then try to go deeper into concepts as comms, persuasion, leadership
Btw, I went back to university at 29.. finished a degree and now have a job that works for me- making decent money and it is mentally stimulating
I have reverted back to some old habits but some good ones adopted during university have stuck with me. I am married now and in a good mental space.
I am 29 years old and I just did a career switch. You are never too old for a change!
You are definitely NOT too old! I’m fact kid, your life is just about to start!
Its really down to you to accept that things in life aren't always going to be easy to achieve outside ones own comfort zone. Respecting and loving your faults is a good start. Were usually the biggest critics of ourselves and can a lot of the times hinder ourselves from achieving things outside of ourselves. Learn that the world around you is far more interesting than being stuck with yourself. You have to do the initiating by wanting the drive for a better life. The more you take action in setting up your intentions and accomplishing acts that improve your current state of affairs, the more your mind will automatically adapt to those changes. With out the force of trying to manipulate your exact thoughts and mindset which can't be done overnight.
There's no way anyone can give you the advice you want to hear. First, we don't know your history. Second, we don't know what you need to be successful. Third, we don't know what you want in life. Do you want to make more money or have more meaning in life?
You're 30 and I bet you already heard all the cliches such as going to the gym, going to school, etc. What works for someone else may not necessarily work for you. You really need to have a deep convo with someone about your situation. It could be a friend or someone professional.
The only advice I can give you is to pick one thing that you can improve on, then just go from there.
No, if only you had started a year ago you could've done it but now you're in your 30s it's impossible.