T O P

Sad

Sad

Cautiously-happy

That was actually....quite sad


MyAnswerIsMaybe

I feel like this is a symptom of why online dating won't work for like 95% of its users You are completely just judging people by their looks and if they can write a decent bio. The real world isn't like that, you meet people and you get to know them without thinking "do I want to date this person" I feel like everybody needs to be friends first before going on a date to have a healthy relationship


CapablePerformance

OkCupid used to be a great online dating platform. You answered a ton of questions and it recommended highly matched people and you could search for similiar interests. Now it's just a tinder clone of "swipe left/right" but you're limited to like 5 likes a day. It's horrible. I connect well with creative and nerdy girls but almost every dating app just shows me girls that love to go hiking and want to travel the globe. It's now just completely down to "You think they're hot?".


Kitchoua

I feel like "hiking and traveling the globe" describe about 90% of dating apps people. And frankly, it's about as bland and unimaginative as it gets if you ask me. Who doesn't like hiking and traveling? And do you hike enough that it defines you? I mean, on a good month, I'm not convinced someone who's into it can go more than 5-6 time hiking, because of work and weather, and I'm generous. And traveling? Let's say the person does it twice a year. What is she the rest of the time? Is that person just sitting, waiting to go hike or travel? It's coming to a point where I wonder if nerdy girls just decided to stop using the app, for a reason or another, because I have a hard time believing they are that rare. That turned into a rant, thank you for hearing me blow off some steam :P


CapablePerformance

Right there with ya! They always have pictures of them in the forest or in another country and I'm just left thinking "Cool but...what're you doing for the other 99% of your life? Do you live in a sitcom that's full of wacky adventures on the town? Don't you ever just...watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine and eat hamburger helper?" I'd say that there are definitely nerdy girls but only on the apps for a week or two before they find someone. Hell, I've had more luck meeting nerdy partners on twitter and facebook (mutuals/friends of mutuals) than on dating apps.


DemiGod9

See also: "I like good food". Nooooo. *Reeaaally?* Wow


Kitchoua

You do too? We have so much in common. Do you by any stroke of luck also like to go out for a drink with friends??


pazimpanet

That’s crazy. I met my now wife on OKCupid just over 8 years ago. If the app was as you describe it I don’t know if we would have met.


willempage

I dunno. You'd be surprised on how similar it is in the real world. If you aren't good looking, people don't really give you the time of day anymore than you get online. You have a better chance of showing off your personality for sure, but everyone pretty quickly gets put in a box of dateable and not dateable relatively quickly based on looks. If you aren't attractive enough for the other person, you probably won't ever have a chance. If you do meet some threshold, you'll at least not be written off completely.


theonecarguy

Look I'm a fawkin fugly dude. I mean face like a Mack truck. I mke bulldogs look good. I'm balding in my mid twenties, I'm overweight, and I got just about zero charm or charisma to make up for any of it. I'm not smart, or great in any way. But the one thing I do well is care. That was enough for both of my exes who were WAY better looking and had WAY more going for them. There are some people who are shallow, and only care about looks. But you wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyways. The majority of people just want to know beyond doubt that you care about them. Also, not everyone is a match. Honestly out of all the times I was rejected, I've got a feeling more of them were because I felt ugly rather than because they thought I was ugly. I learned that if you can't see beyond the surface, most others won't either. Food for thought.


superledge

Unrequested advice (sorry): if you’re “balding” - shave your head! If you’re not sure if you need to shave it yet - YOU DO! Most guys wait too late and there’s that point where it really has to be accepted but they aren’t and the first thing you think when you see them is a kind of pity because you know it’s probably something they are struggling with. Alternatively, you shave your head. At first glance it’s like yep shaved head what else. You will also most likely have more confidence because you aren’t wondering if people are thinking about it.


theonecarguy

I quit doing things based on what I thought others would like a long time ago. I keep it short for convenience and because it's what I prefer, but I don't shave and I wouldn't do it for someone else. Also, not every guy looks better with a shaved head, and it's kind of uncomfortable. A better recommendation is a nice tight trim, nothing under 1/4 inch. Highly recommend palm trimmers, they'll do the job in five minutes and a guy can do it alone in the mirror, minor touch ups with the beard trimmer. Doing this pretty much negates any skin problems that many guys get from close shaves. And it keeps things clean and hygienic which for me, is all that matters.


superledge

Fair enough! Do what works for you :)


VegasDragon91

Or plugs. There's a rough spot early on after the procedure, but they've actually gotten really good at hair restoration.


[deleted]

[удалено]


theonecarguy

It wasn't shitty. Gals know balding guys think about it. This person was just trying to say that guys can overcome that.


superledge

I wasn’t trying to be rude but @theonecarguy I absolutely apologise if what I said was rude or offensive to you. My partner went bald and I saw how he took a hit to his confidence, started making jokes about it to people so they wouldn’t think he wasn’t in on the e - shit like that. When he bit the bullet and shaved it off he realised he should have done it ages ago. And yes, I feel pity for any guy who loses his hair and is self conscious about it: because I don’t want anyone to feel self conscious about something especially since they have absolutely no control over it


larzanthony

Don’t be so Pissed-Off about it


Ecstatic-Currency-66

You sound like a great guy. Don't put yourself down. Most women I know would love a guy like you.


theonecarguy

Maybe some day I'll meet someone who does :) I've made my peace with a death alone though so its alright if I dont.


Jugad

Wtf did you say about Mack trucks? They are gorgeous!! The jawline is commanding.


willempage

I agree. There are plenty of people who aren't shallow. If there wasnt, I'd never have had any relafionships either. I just think people have these fuzzy thresholds where if you have a certain look, you get written off completely. Not the end of the world, people have preferences, but those preferences are present in both Tinder and the real world. But once you clear that threshold, they might give you a chance. I've definitely matched and had good tinder dates where I wonder why someone that good looking would swipe right on me. People generally have an inkling of what they want. So whether it's online or in person you'll reach a revealed preference.


MyAnswerIsMaybe

I just don't think people go around completely swiping right on people for looks Imagine if I went up to you and you just said "no next", that's fucking cruel but that's what online dating allows people to do. It allows them to be assholes like that lady


yaboyskinnydick_

Uh what? No one is actually going to vocalise to someone's face that they've swiped left on them, they're going to look at them, deem them unattractive and that's the end of it. They're not even being assholes. Too much time spent inside friend.


AsleepQuestion

Except people can become more attractive as you get to know them in the real world. If you join a group of people (say a board game group), you can still get to know someone despite them not being attractive to you initially. This can help the person to become more attractive to you (or not). It's always looks or nothing with online dating.


LittleWhiteGirl

A lot of people (I’ve mostly noticed this with men but maybe that’s because I was looking for men) use unflattering pictures on their profiles and either write nothing or nothing of substance. If you’re going out for a night at the bar you’ll wear a decent shirt and do your hair, you’ll strike up a chat with a funny anecdote or otherwise put effort into conversation. That same effort isn’t used on dating profiles for some reason, as if wearing a wife beater and having greasy hair with a bio that just lists their height and what they dislike about partners would get them someone in real life any more than it would online.


Bombkirby

That’s very anecdotal. There’s plenty of profiles where people are posing like models, going on crazy adventurers, and give off the idea that they’re important and exciting people.


LittleWhiteGirl

Sure, which is why I said “many people” instead of “everyone”.


willempage

People are a little bit more shallow online and first online dates can be awkward, but like half my fired group met their spouse on tinder/bumble and those relationships don't seem any stronger or weaker than the others. Sure, people have much more capability for being cruel online, but like, the interaction above happens in the "real world" all the time. And swiping left/right is anonymous basically anyway. At least as anonomyzed as it is in the real world. I can assure you that my relative low match rate on Tinder is strongly correlated with the relatively low amount of single people I meet in real life who show any interest in me whatsoever. It's not like I'm being actively written off to my face, but you can tell if someone is mildly interested in talking to you or not pretty quickly


FishinBikin

You obviously weren't around before online dating. Rejection, face to face, fear-sweat, embarrassment, awkward, "oh fuck me this isn't going well please let a comet strike the earth and end it, fuck fuck fuck": that's the real shit.


VegasDragon91

Oh I've seen people do pretty much the same thing at bars and clubs. I was at a cocktail hour once where a woman came up to me and the guy I was chatting with and flat out said "Just pretend to talk to me, I don't want anything to do with you guys, I'm just trying to get (nods towards a guy deep in conversation next to us) him to notice me." I guess it really is all about location!


depressed-salmon

Lmao I'd be tempted to either tell her to fuck off possible with a middle finger, or tap the guy on the shoulder and interrupt him to tell him that this woman is being a creep on me to get to you or something. That's so fucking rude of her.


VegasDragon91

It was pretty rude. It was an association type gathering where people tended to be "known" and it was known that he was extremely well off, so she was pretty clearly a gold-digger. Meh.


TrueMrSkeltal

Lol the level of entitlement is astounding, the only appropriate response it to tell her to go fuck herself


wasabitamale

For women, sure. But most women aren’t super big on looks when it comes to men. Personality, confidence, style, status, all these things come before looks for men. Edit: life isn’t a dating app you cucks. Go outside and talk to some women with confidence and convey your personality and you might see that I’m right.


StrangeSoundZ

Why the downvotes? I agree women do tend to focus on the contents of a character and forgiving on physical looks.


wasabitamale

Because it’s a bunch of nice guys who can only blame their looks for why they are terrible with women 🤣


StrangeSoundZ

God forbid they look at themselves. Like actually put in self-work. What a novel concept LOOL


my-other-throwaway90

>I feel like everybody needs to be friends first before going on a date to have a healthy relationship To me, this is why our current dating culture is completely backwards. You're hunting for a complete stranger looking for "a spark", whatever that even means, to enter an intimate relationship with them. Doesn't it make more sense to have a friendship, or at least kind of know the person outside the context of romance, before making a decision that big? I know several people who have romantic partners that, I strongly suspect, they would never even hang out platonically with in other contexts. Then they wonder why the relationship turns sour when the honeymoon period wears off. A long term relationship isn't all sex and hot dates. It's having a room mate, doing dishes, eating pizza and watching TV. I feel like my dating life completely turned around when I swore off the apps, made an effort to establish a baseline pleasant acquaintanceship with people IRL, and THEN decided who to ask out from there.


Enticing_Venom

I feel the precise opposite. I meet someone and I think that they want to be friends. Awesome! I have a new friend and it's fun to be sociable. Suddenly, they either start acting weirdly suggestive out of nowhere or they confess that they like me. Well that's awkward. I explain (or re-iterate) that I have a boyfriend. Now they drop off the face of the earth. If I am lucky they just stop talking to me abruptly. If I'm unlucky there's some abuse hurled in. And now I'm sad because I thought that I had made a friend but it turns out if I'm not sleeping with them they don't care to be around me at all. I basically had to blanket ban being friends with straight guys because this issue became so pervasive and it's sad because I used to have lots of platonic guy friends before adulthood. Then I still can't escape it because my dog trainer confessed a crush on me. I wish it were still possible to just enjoy conversations with platonic male friends but it seems there is no such thing anymore. If a man and I get along even in a professional setting it turns into a romantic attempt. And when kindly turned down I get cut off and discarded like a piece of unwanted trash. Very annoying and hurtful. I even lead discussions now so often now with little mentions and discussions about my boyfriend. Accomplishes nothing. I wish people who want to date would just lead with that instead of pretending to want to be friends and then surprising me later with different intentions. I do think that friendship is an important basis of a relationship. But it isn't necessarily best accomplished by befriending people (especially taken people!) And then trying to cajole something more out of it.


rilakkumkum

This is exactly what I’m going through now. And it’s almost impossible for me to make female friends because all my hobbies are male dominated, so I’m destined to only be friends with my boyfriend :/


pondcheera

Straight male here, sorry for other straight males being jackasses, I hope you make some friends who just enjoy your comany


diablofreak

"Ok Boomer." I'm kidding I'm old i think if I'm single now i wouldn't be able to meet anyone. I'm the same i need to know the person first.


HorizontalBob

Back in my day, we had to go places to judge people on their looks.


DeeSnarl

I got married just over a week ago to a woman I met on OLD so…. Come to think of it, so did my dad and several of my friends. Of course, it doesn’t USUALLY work, but neither does IRL dating.


kirsion

Online is similar to irl, but cuts to chase faster. If you slightly less good looking, you may have a a little better chance irl if you flex your skills, like niceness or something. But it is still like 95% your looks. A girl would never consider dating you unless she thinks you were a minimum attractive to her.


KettleLogic

Outside of highschool I know absolutely no one who meet someone, was just friends, then started dating. There's was sexual attraction from the get go in nearly every situation. I feel the "we became friends before dating" is a post-hoc narrative applied in 90% of situations.


yassir560

Eh. For guys you see an attractive girl and give it a shot, so you go by looks. And alot of people do go about dating with the intention of, you know, dating. Either way you can achieve both, online and irl. You can date someone online from merting them from another avenue outside of dating apps. The actual problem is alot more complicated than just that.


DickVanGlorious

This is why I deleted Tinder. I couldn’t shake the feeling that any connection I would have made on there would be “fake”.


DrunkenlySober

Just to play devil’s advocate, what if she really liked his friend? The only possible way she’d ever be able to meet him would be swiping on OP and asking. Yeah, it kind of sucks for OP but it’s not like she was mean about it. She even said sorry. Is it sad for OP because this one girl thought this friend was cute? No, I don’t think so personally.


theonecarguy

Picture two gals at a bar. Guy walks up, buys one a drink and says "Hey, who's your friend? Is she single? Sorry I'm just interested in her, not you." I'm not gonna be the moral judge, but I would feel crushed if it was done to me and I certainly wouldn't do that to someone else.


nik4nik

This happens literally all the time. It’s called being a wingman. Don’t really thinks it’s comparable either because the girl in the OP would have no possible way of talking to the friend where as in real like they could approach them


theonecarguy

A wingman is someone who helps their friend willingly, not someone who gets approached by a rando. My point is that you're basically talking at the person for no benefit of their own and entirely selfish reasons. Maybe they'd take it well and hook a friend up, but maybe not. I just know I wouldn't appreciate it, and I wouldn't do it to someone else.


thegreatinsulto

"I can make it happen, but you need to set me up with some of your friends. Deal?" And that's how you secure a VERY audacious wingwoman.


TerroristSeagull

Wingwomen are the best it’s like they read your mind and set you up in 5 minutes


Ok-Act-4191

That's an excellent response. Hopefully, OP used that.


stemcapnocap

This is why you DO NOT POST GROUP PICTURES ON DATING WEBSITES


RedditManForTheWin

If only I had group photos to post


stemcapnocap

Honestly man, same, but, I would rather go talk to people in real life🤢than risk having someone say some shit like that to me


mothmonstermann

Having the person you are interested in ask you about your cute friend sucks just as bad in person though :(


CraziedHair

A lot easier to say that online then in person.


gotmeduckedup

You’d still be shocked. There’s a reason why when I was single I stopped going out with my significantly more attractive friends, people are shitty whether it be online or in person


realnjgga

Abandoning your friends because of that seems much more shitty in my opinion


gotmeduckedup

I’d still hang out with them, I just wouldn’t go to bars and clubs with them because I don’t like feeling like shit about myself whenever I go out


isitagsdpuppy

Lol. I love how you’re under the impression that the same thing doesn’t happen in real life.


Borbely_R

Is pixelating their faces like they're in witness protection acceptable?


BurberryYogurt

I like to do the black eye bar like they're in a porno


Starved-Nutritionist

I do this, too, but then the girls say, “Who’s your well-endowed friend?”


Jamesbond907

Really cause all I ever hear is that you need group photos cause 9 pics of yourself is weird and makes it seem like you don’t have friends.


my-other-throwaway90

You cant win either way. There will always be people who try to read crazy things into a single dating profile. I really think the "no group pics" rule makes sense. When I was on Tinder it was not uncommon to stumble on profile pics that were a group of four girls. Who the heck am I even swiping on? I wonder if some people who are less than conventionally attractive use group pics in hopes that someone will swipe thinking that they are a cuter friend. But like posting old pics of when you were skinnier, it doesn't make sense-- you know we're going to meet in person at some point, right?


DPPculfascination

It depends how fast they can get skinnier.


stemcapnocap

At least block out their faces or something, I’ve seen people make posts about the same kind of thing and just me personally, no way I’m letting myself get done dirty like that😂


Jamesbond907

Yeah I mean step one is self awareness. You have to know which one of your friends is too hot to be in your pics. Really though doing this is so weird. Friend didn’t swipe on you so why would you think it matters they’re single? Does this person DM random good looking people on IG? Why on tinder at all? Lmao


ScubaSteve1219

> At least block out their faces or something this immediately makes me think the person is some weird narcissist, like the *only* picture they like has some friends so they have to block out their face instead of…..find another one.


larsdragl

I dont understand how thats related to narcissism


sboxtf

I always either put clown or poop emojis to cover their faces lmao😂💀💀 Yo why the downvotes


Bombkirby

Different people like different types of profile. When you seek advice, everyone is just listing the qualities that make a profile interesting in THEIR opinion. And when you change your profile to fit their specific opinions, you just end up upsetting the people who are on the opposite side of the spectrum. It becomes a game of back and forth. Just design a profile that attracts the sort of person you want to attract. Don't worry about anything else.


Rhysetheraven96

That's why you add photos of your pets and random shit. Like i had a picture of my graphic novels to show my interests and my cat with like 2 pictures of me. Maybe a good wholesome meme that everyone can enjoy to round it all out.


my-other-throwaway90

I'm not sure if I'd want to date a girl who scrutinizes every pic in an attempt to psychoanalyze me. Sounds like an overly anxious person who would be difficult to date. I just include a decent selfie. Maybe a pic of me engaging in my hobby or something.


Jamesbond907

I can’t tell if you’re serious


Rhysetheraven96

Nah i am it works. I dont take it too seriously and i usually find good company.


sordidennui

literally same I've been preaching this for years


sxrxhmanning

what if I literally dont have any group photos that arent from like 2016


theonecarguy

\*filters intensify\*


RazorBladeInMyMouth

Any group photos I always swipe left. I ain't putting the time to figure out who the fuck you are.


LegendaryPringle

that's why theres more photos of just you aswell, context is key. if theres just group photos then theres no context to figure it out. maybe the person could be kind enough to say so in their bio


Gimibranko

When I used to use these apps too many people would do this. Worst is when theres like 15 ppl in the photo who were all about a pixel big each


RazorBladeInMyMouth

Ah yes I meant people with just group photos. I've seen a few that actually just do that and it's very frustrating. The profiles that just have one or two and doesn't use them as their profile pic are just fine.


LegendaryPringle

ah yeah, i can see how thatd be annoying. like bro im not here to date all 4 of you


rmorrin

I'll take up that challenge for you!


my-other-throwaway90

If your main profile pic is a group pic, I'm still swiping left. Makes me think that the person is insecure and trying to include their cute friends to get swipes.


naroLsraLteiN_isback

Im debating myself on whether its a good thing i cant do that or a bad thing


thelizardkin

A few doesn't hurt, as long as they aren't the only pictures.


Vihtic

Nah, you need a couple group pictures. Just not *all* group pictures. It's kind of a red flag for me when the person only has selfies. With filters and photoshop being so prevalent and easy to use, the group pictures shed light on what the person really looks like. It also shows that they have actual friends which is important, too.


federico_45

Exactly my thought. But regardless, gray is just rude AF.


used2011vwjetta

Yeah


gargoyle30

It's a pretty well-known rule imo that you shouldn't have pictures with anyone better looking than you


Anon8888899

Stop using group photos in ur dating apps


IndianaHoosierFan

But what if I'm average looking with ugly friends?


NumerousSuccotash141

I always assume if it’s a group photo, you’re the ugly one.


ThatsBuddyToYouPal

Fuck. This is true. ...fuck.


OGWanKenoby

That’s why you use more than 1 photo


Vihtic

You need a mix of selfies *and* group photos on dating apps for the most success. Sometimes people look amazing in selfies (filters), and then completely different in the group photo. If someone only has selfies, I just take it as a red flag in that I'm probably not seeing what they truly look like.


seveneleveneight

you are aware that theres also the option of pictures taken of you by other people but not with other people in it, right?! you absolutely do not need group pictures on a dating app.


Vihtic

You don't *need* them, but I think it's still good to have a group photo or two. Showing that you have a social life and friends is definitely a plus.


creep_with_mustache

Stop using ~~group photos in ur~~ dating apps FTFY


poopalotbutnotalways

Nah


theje1

My rule of thumb is: if their profile picture is a group photo, assume is the least attractive person to you.


iskarjarak27

That's 100% true


chudsworth

That pickup line... oof


_C_A_G_

Yeah he kinda asked for it


looiwh123

at least he tried..


Difficult_Day7570

A post-modern love story.


-SagaQ-

Should've been a [post-modern sleaze](https://youtu.be/swX-2GT9q44)


AxP3

The cheesy line certainly did not help.


evilspycandy

it’s tinder what’d you expect 💀


AmericanCobra

OP should maybe focus on picking up conversation on their bio or something in their pics, anything to make it seem like OP is actually interested in the person and not bagging a date


DivingForBirds

That’s why you have photos of you. Duh.


Barustai

Serves him right for posting pics of other people on his profile.


_Diabetes

*Image Transcription: Text Messages* --- >**Blue**: I'm researching important dates in history, do you want to be mine? **Grey**: Who's that cute blonde guy in ur pics? >**Blue**: Name's [*Censored*] **Grey**: He's very cute **Grey**: Is he single **Grey**: ? >**Blue**: so you swiped on my just for my friend eh **Grey**: Pretty much **Grey**: Im sorry --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


riottasu


Assassin06000

Good human


[deleted]

Weird question but why is this done? Thanks for doing it but why?


_Diabetes

It’s mainly for accessibility! Generally it’s for: - blind users - d/Deaf users (partial/fully) - users with slow internet (I.e. post won’t load, but comments will) - those with ADHD, dyslexia etc. or those who find it easier to read certain fonts or colours Or a multitude of other reasons. The link in my footer goes to a info page on our subreddit, if you’d like a more detailed explanation :)


[deleted]

Ok, thanks! And thanks again for doing it.


ChrisEHood

good human. blessed to have y’all on this app


Kaboooz

The robotic forced redditor pick-up line is honestly the most cringe on tht image.


PrinceEzrik

what the fuck was that opener. I have the social wherewithal of a bag of chips and even I'd probably ask if your friend is single if you hit me with that


RytheGuy97

It’s tinder, pretty much every pick up line is terrible. This isn’t out of order at all on r/tinder.


PrinceEzrik

with the frequency that I see this shit it makes me think it works on some people and honestly I'd rather not face the reality that people either A) are turned on by this or B) just have a low enough bar that this passes


15infantryparatroop

Let's not beat around the bush, we live in a very superficial world, if you're ugly, people treat you differently than an attractive person. Source: I've been both.


STerrier666

One of the reasons why you should never use group photos on your Profile on a Dating Site.


thelizardkin

Nothing wrong with group photos, just as long as you don't only have group photos.


Vihtic

You are completely correct. In fact, it's kind of a red flag for me when people *don't* have at least one group picture. With the amount of filters people use nowadays, you need that group photo to tell what the person really looks like. It also shows that they have friends which is a plus.


thewonderingwizard

Should have offered to send her the blonde guys number, but actually send the number for Pizza Hut.


kokiyas96

Oof. This happened to me twice


NegativeAnte

“The worst she can say is no.” Even the people in the comment section here are giving him shit. Lol


0xKIPARIS

What a cruel / antisocial woman. She knows how much this will hurt the guy, but shes going for it anyway just because of some miniscule chance he might hook her up with this friend. Why would you just step on people like this without any consideration. I would hate myself if i did that to someone by accident.


Qwerty172xx

I feel like if if we did this to a woman nobody would give a shit


dumbbinch99

Yeah, I’ve matched with several guys who were just like “lol I swiped right on you to ask you if x girl in one of your pics was single” maybe next time it happens I’ll remember to post in on r/sadcringe lmao


Walshy_Boy

What? It’s a brief interaction, there shouldn’t be any expectations of anything anyway. In no way is she stepping on the guy


CraigslistAxeKiller

There should at least be an expectation of a good-faith interaction, not asking about his friend or being mean. How is that so hard for people?


Walshy_Boy

You’re right, she could’ve gone about it in a better way. Definitely coming across as rude when I re read it now. I disagree that the act itself is in bad faith, because it’s a harmless inquiry at the end of the day, but you’re correct that the method was in bad faith


0xKIPARIS

Youre right. Its brief, theres no expectations, but yes she is stepping on him. As far as i understand how tinder works is you have an unlimited amount of people being spoon-fed to you by the app that you can swipe on, so why would she ask about his friend anyway and not just unmatch after the bad line? He isnt even on tinder? That cute friend could be married with kids for all she knows. Oh why the fuck am i pissed about people not being nice to strangers on the internet again.. I feel so naive and stupid for thinking everyones supposed to be as excellent to eachother as you can possibly be because no one seems to share this view.


Walshy_Boy

While I still disagree, I see your point. Thanks for the rebuttal, gives me something to think about.


0xKIPARIS

I see yours too, its so brief and inconsequential you would think no one has even been treated wrong. I would totally agree with you if i didnt have similar experiences. I know this exact pain of feeling undesirable very well, it crushes you if you experienced it too much. My opinion consists of 80% compassion and pity for the dude and 20% resentment towards her for not being able to treat a person with basic decency and consideration. No one is morally wrong or right, its just that she doesnt live up to my personal ideals of the basic kindness any person should be able to offer other people to interact socially without tipping everyones scales to the „depressed, abused“ position


Walshy_Boy

I'd say I've had a lot of similar experiences as well, kind of interesting that we have two differing views on this based on that. Funny how that works lol. I could understand both people in this situation and you're right about it being morally ambiguous in a sense.


ThracianScum

Imagine it with the genders reversed, it seems overtly fucked up then.


Walshy_Boy

I disagree with that a little, but I’m coming from a place of not considering this fucked up in the first place. I say a little because in a gender reversed situation I could see this as being rude. Looks like I have biases I wasn’t previously aware of. Thanks for sharing


bbyimbleeding

at least she apologized…


wastemortal

reason #1 to not put pics with your friends:


Competitive_Cuddling

I was on Tinder for a few months before meeting my bf. The amount of guys who had nothing but group pics, usually with the same 2-3 men in all of them, was astonishing. They were all an instant no swipe even if one/some looked cute. Don't nobody have the time to play guessing games with your profile.


Wet_Hawaiian_Roll

You brought this upon yourself. Don’t post group pics


jawnstein82

Stop taking pics with all your bros bro


sam-mulder

In my experience, whenever a guy posts a photo with a friend he is by far the least attractive one. It is so prevalently done I now assume they do this on purpose to trick people into swiping, so this guy got what he deserved honestly.


sharkbaitoo1a1a

That I’m sorry pisses me off irrationally


fondofnature01

you should hook your friend up. thats what id do.


Mrphiilll

Wouldn't it be weird if they get together knowing the reason they're together is because you were trying to tap that ass


fondofnature01

maybe idk. if nothing happened nothing happened


Quakarot

Nah, I don’t think so. If he’s really your bro you’ve just got to red skull it.


GingerGuy97

Holy shit are you referring to the “guide others to a power I cannot possess” line?


Quakarot

ya


cozy-crow

bruh if he's really your bro, you'll keep desperate chicks like this farrrr away from your group. this is a big ol red flag


Quakarot

Hm. That’s a good point.


StixnStones59

They matched on Tinder, it's not that serious just hook your homie up.


coldbrewboldcrew

I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.


e-wrecked

Exactly, and just be cool about it. Yeah I'll hook you up with my bro, do you have any friends you can hook me up with? You might still come out on top.


Champion-Budget

Jesus christ, didn't even acknowledge the opener. Youre better off


DivingForBirds

Cause it’s shit.


CleanSanchez101

One time when I used to be on tinder I matched with a girl and she told me she only matched with me because of my friend in On of my pics, my friend was also a girl….


Pas_ta_Far_Ian

You realise that if your friend hooks up the likelihood one of their friends is available and willing to socialize is higher right?


_Pretzel

That's fucked but definitely had it coming


Johncamp28

1) this seems like a ripoff of the “I don’t want to affend post from yesterday 2) if you are ever on Facebook or Twitter etc and you are wondering which one the person in the pic is, it’s the not hot one


blackasthesky

That hookup is cringe


PotatoDonki

“Go fuck yourself, cause you sure as hell ain’t fucking my friends.”


Fantastic-Ad5274

This is some weak shit, sure she was rude, there are polite ways to ask about the friend - but it's one shallow chick who sees dick she wants and cuts to the chase. That's not crushing, that's just gross behaviour on her part and you dodged a bullet. Be confident.


coreyd0n

Bullet successfully dodged, move on


Apostasy93

That's low


beziko

Both are cringe. Why people are using group photos on dating app? It's 2021, it's so easy to cut photos wiht random apps or even fucking paint. Even Tinder have option to cut photo.


Volfgang91

"As a matter of fact he is single! And looking! Unfortunately for you, he has standards."


NanaTan4

What a B


Walshy_Boy

Going to go a little against the grain here - This isn’t sad, nothing wrong with asking about someone you’re interested in. Good chance to hook a buddy up. Don’t really get in what world this could be sad


C2074579

Zero respect


Honeyhammn

Sad BUT let’s say she did date you then you introduced her to your friends and it’d be over. Same fate no matter what. Let her have him


Sakred

This doesn't have to be sad or cringe. Operate from a place of abundance. I'd try to work an introduction. Maybe you introduce your buddy to his future wife. Who knows, the universe operates in weird ways, sometimes you gotta just roll with it.


Sometimealonealone

I agree.. I don’t really see how it’s cringe that she’s interested in your friend. This is the only way she’ll ever be able to reach him. You’re not entitled to anything at all with any girl who swipes on you


PriorCaterpillar4395

You should be a good bro and hook your friend up. Don’t be sad over one lady. Your confidence and self-worth should have literally nothing to do with her.


JerseyOnMyWall

Imagine capitulating to someone who made you feel like shit


Sakred

Imagine feeling like shit because some random person on the internet is interested in your friend. ​ Ya'll are fragile as fuck.


PriorCaterpillar4395

Hahahaha thank you. This crowd is a trip


Cakeboy327

If he didn’t specify which was him and which was his friend then this is totally on him


Kenmore1414

More woe is me, pity party, feel bad for me me me posts. It's like 95% of r/tinder, "Look how mean girl was!!!"


th3s0ap

My profile picture was my best friend and I and all of my girlfriend’s friends always ask about him and say how hot he is.