What’s the dumbest question a customer asked you?

“Do you work here?” while I’m wearing the same uniform as the rest of the staff.

Nah dude. I just felt like wearing this.


I worked at an Applebees in the 90s.One friday, bout 5 in the afternoon, place caught on fire.Roof was engulfed.Me, the other employees, management, various cops and other such things, standing in the median of a now blocked busy road.Flames shooting out of the roof. 5/6 Fire trucks, cops, all sorts of shit everywhere.Probably 15 people pulled up on the other side of the median. And asked, are they open?When told the place is, obviously the fuck on fire,Theyd go "Will they be open back up in an hour or so."One of the cops finally turned around to one of them and went "There is no way you can be that stupid, keep going, its illegal to stop in a roadway like that.".


That’s what happens when people order steaks well done. The equipment revolts.


I really don't know if I could handle back of house at a commercial chain like Applebees...I can tolerate Karen and her horrible children but I will not ruin a good steak for them


If they order a steak well done, give them a hamburger. It’s basically the same.


I still serve it medium - medium well. That cow died for your lunch, you do not disrespect it by burning the meat!


This happened recently at one of our older Home Depots. The fire started in the lumber dept. and then the sprinkler system failed, so the whole warehouse was just going up flames, with a column of thick black smoke, that could be seen across the city. Everybody got out, but staff still had to man the doors and tell customers that they were closed, because the building was on fire. There was video of it on the news, where people are still trying to get through the door, when you can see the wall of fire on the other side. smh


There was a lumberyard in my hometown that caught fire in the '70s, and it was epic. They were the largest lumberyard in the eastern United States, and they had the largest roofed lumber shed in the world. The whole place went up, with flames a hundred feet high. People could feel the heat on their faces from over a block away. Firefighters saw no hope of putting it out, so they focused their efforts on keeping neighboring homes and businesses from catching fire and waited for it to burn through all the lumber. The funny part is how the fire started. Two teenage boys had hidden what they called "sex magazines" in the lumberyard, and were searching for them using lit matches.


I'd be looking for a red stapler


Wow!! Similar thing happened to me while working at a vet clinic. Our kitchen stove caught on fire. Long story short we evacuated all our patients and all staff members were standing outside the clinic. This lady waltzes into reception with a purpose, before anyone could tell her to eff on out of there, she walks back to where we were all staring and yells “ I want to buy a working tablet, is anyone going to help me”


Our pub was once flooded. Electrics blew, no lighting, all fridges and cooler gone. Actual indoors flooded. Half the town was flooded too. Had to hang around for a bit before the big boss man came. Anyway multiple people still kept pushing on the door and shouting at me to ask if we were open. Dude you just walked through a river to get here and I have no lights at all 🤦🏻‍♀️


Why don't you have heating in here, this part of the store is too cold! Folks, this was the chilled department. And this was a disturbingly frequent question. I used say to them 'ok, I'm going to give you a moment to retract that, and pretend it never happened.' You could *literally* see the gears turning, before they'd give an embarrassed laugh.


Or if the A/C is broken and management thinks it’s a great idea to just stay open and force us to work in miserable conditions: I can’t tell you how many people will get to the register and say, “Do you have any idea how hot it is in here?” Me (drenched in sweat): “No ma’am! I had no idea that it was hot in here! I’m completely comfortable.”


My store, this was over a decade ago, back when I was just a customer, did this massive refurb. They closed the actual building, and then set up a giant metal hothouse in the centre of the carpark as a temporary store. Absolute evil, to do that in the middle of summer, and not bother with a.c.


We’re in South Carolina and had A/C failure in the summer as well. When it’s already 100°F during the day. They ultimately closed the store until it was fixed, but only after a CUSTOMER called the 1-800 number to complain. It was perfectly OK for employees to be stuck there all day with no A/C, but god forbid a customer has to endure it for 15 minutes!! 🙄


Ffs :( is it any wonder customers don't realise we're people too, when corporate doesn't either?


Oh a sauna! How fun!!! /s.


Our AC broke when I managed a dollar store. They tried to force me to stay open and just deal with it being over 90 inside. Told the DM that I would FORCE myself to have a heat stroke and the first thing I would do upon regaining consciousness would be to call my attorney. They had portable AC units installed the next day. Something they weren't even offering before that comment. We probably didn't make enough to cover the AC rental in that time and lost all the chocolate lol.


The AC went out at my work a couple of years ago on a busy Friday and we could not convince the facilities guys to come fix it for whatever dumb reason. An absolute saint of a customer, tagged us on Facebook and was like, "Why is there no ac at this location?" Facilities came within 30 minutes to fix it. Thank God for that customer, I thought I was gonna die that day.


When the a. c. isn't enough, sometimes I jump at the chance to price check a customers item in that section, just to cool off for a moment. Sorry customers in line but this is the fastest you will get served and bonus I get a moment to be cool. same with check the back...into the freezer I go...well that is if its slow enough I feel justified, since there really isn't much back there anymore...maybe some beer/soda that is vendor product (they stock it themselves).


I hear ya. Oooh, frozen go back? On it, boss!


"It says remove card?" As the machine dings at them


“If I want to tip 15% do I hit the 15% button?”


No honey actually you hit this button to the right of it *gestures to the 30% button*


Our toilets overflowed. We put red tape crisscrossing over the entrance to the whole bathroom area. Big signs that said the bathrooms were out of order. MULTIPLE people: “are you bathrooms not working?.”


I had a lady duck under the caution tape at the bathroom door. Got mad at ME because the toilet overflowed and ruined her shoes. Told her to take it up with corporate. As far as I know she didn’t report it but the nerve. Her excuse was she’s blind and didn’t see the sign. Sure, Jan.


I misread that as a lady 🦆 and thought WTF you had a duck in the toilet? 🤦‍♀️


"Can I get your number" 😏😉. I give the store number now lol 🤣.


I used to have a phone number that would lead to a Rick Roll. Last time I checked (a few years back) it had been disconnected. X3


Lol 😂 nice


I doubt this will ever happen to me but i wanna remember the stores number just for this💀


Unfortunately it will and you will be annoyed. I got this trick from The Office when he forces them all to set him up with someone and Kevin writes "hot juicy red head... Wendy" and gives him the number to a Wendy's restaurant lol 🤣...I'm like hey I'm going to start giving these creeps the store number lol.


Im not quite sure bec im very clearly a lesbian and not conventionally attractive imo. I mean its still likely some men are crazy


thats hilarous 😭


Aww, it *can* work out good. We have our 17th Anniversary Saturday


Got asked if our loaded fries come with fries today


We may have a winner...


Were you asked today or did they ask it as if it was today's special? I potty the poor sod who was brought a sad, cold bowl of loaded.


Not really retail but I got this gem years ago when I worked in a library: "Y'all got any books?" Not asking for a particular subject or author or anything specific. Just books. My guy, you walked halfway through the library to get to my desk and were facing rows upon rows of books before you uttered that nonsense.


That's akin to when people walk into my bar and ask if we sell beer or liquor. It's happened more than a few times.


That is kind of like when I've been a waiter, and some asshole sits down in a chain restaurant and orders some weird ass microbrew with limited distribution that is made in fucking Wyoming or something, and I am like, "No . no one sells that around here. Would you like a Miller light or a Bud Light, idiot." Then as they get their check, they lecture you on beer selection. i am like I dont control that, you putz.


"Putz" I've actually seen so many Yiddish insults/words on Reddit today! I'm delighted


I specialize in them. My go to is Schmuck. As in you fuckin' schmuck. I like to throw out putz here and there to attrack the other connoisseur's of fine name calling and elegant methods of profanity out there.


I have a feeling you end up running into a few schmucks in your travels. Here are a couple of links to help insult them. [This has a bunch of Yiddish words including quite a few insults](https://cominsitu.wordpress.com/2016/07/02/a-guide-to-swearing-in-yiddish/) and [this has some amazing phrases](https://yiddishradioproject.org/exhibits/stutchkoff/curses.php3)


Boy do I !! Here a schmuck, there a schmuck, every where a schmuck-schmuck !!!! I live in fucking georgia, they grow on trees here.


> i am like I dont control that, you putz. Sounds like me when people complain about the prices. I don't set the prices. I just sell things. This is not a cut rate liquor store. And the county has higher taxes than the city.


Yeah that shit too. OMG 30 BUCKS FOR THIS STEAK. "do you want it or not" "Not for 30 dollars" "Are you ready to order or should I give you a few more minutes.". THERES NO LIQUOR IN THIS. That's because you drank it. Would you like another one?


> THERES NO LIQUOR IN THIS. How about people who say anything to try to get extra liquor for free?


But like, if someone walks into a bar, wouldn't they say "Ouch!" instead?


Nah. If they're liquored up enough, they won't feel a thing.


Say " nope just juice"


In a totally different shop in my work uniform while on lunch. “ do you work here?” Our uniform is black & blue with the company name emblazoned on it. The shop I was in has burgundy & red, with their name on it. The fuck have him that idea?!


Lol I was in a Target once in a fucking Food Lion uniform once. Customer "Do you work here?" Me-"no" Customer-"You have a uniform on" Me-"Its a Food Lion uniform,this is Target" Customer-"No need to be rude" Me-"You asked."


"You have a uniform on." "Then why'd you ask in the first place?"


People are stupid, lazy and very un-observant. Emphasis on the stupid.


Facts = rudeness 😂😂😭well done to you


I know ! I was thinking are you fucking serious right now, you wooden headed imbecile? Target employees wear obvious red shirts. Have for years. I was wearing a blue food lion shirt, with a big ass Food Lion logo on it. And black pants. Looking nothing remotely like someone who works at target. Not to mention the fact I was clearly fucking shopping for myself.


The other thing was I had my lanyard round my neck: it’s bright blue with PRIMARK on it . Two items with the company name. Maybe we two just have really helpful looking faces ? Or the care worn expression of a retail worker who’s sick of everyone’s shit lol.


Facts dont care about your feelings


Wooden headed imbecile, just made me scream out laughing. Well done.


When I worked in Healthcare I was in Walmart and a customer asked me where something was, I was wearing purple scrubs.


Is… is this dumb fuck color blind or…?


Yes! We have red aprons with bears on, ran to the local dollar store on my break. Had a guy ask me where something was and I informed him I don’t work here. He said “oh, I saw the apron” yeah guy, I WORK, just not here.


I was in my work uniform which was just a white button up shirt and khaki pants, on my way into work. I stopped at a subway. I’m standing in line to get a sandwich this guy asks me to get him more coffee. I just looked at him. He asks again. I say nothing again. He starts cussing me out saying how bad the help is. Finally the subway employee, who was cashing out the other customer come back and says “dude she doesn’t work here!” He got mad and stormed out. I found out later he called to complain to the manager the next day.


Friend of mine used to work in Friendly's. He was in uniform while at a McDonald's. A customer asked if he worked there.


It isn’t just a British thing then, there are fuckwits EVERYWHERE!


I'm from the east coast of the US. There are a lot of fuckwits here.


Aussie here we have heaps. Lots of ours are imported though. Makes them a bit different. So they think


We have certain demographics who display certain characteristics too hmmmm


I went into a hardware store wearing a high vis coat as it was hunting season. Another customer asked me where something was and I was like "I think it's over there" he asked don't you work here? "Nope just a customer" we both awkwardly laughed


At the train station, I get asked a lot of route and schedule questions because I wear Hi--Vis when I'm biking.


When I worked at a haunted attraction in myrtle beach I was inundated with stupidity on the daily. My favorite was the lady with a golf putter asking if it was safe to walk on the beach with it. It was during a storm.. During that same storm the power went out in our arcade. It was obvious the games were off due to ya know, no power. This lady and her kid come up mad wanting to know why they put quarters into the machine and it didn't work. 2 things 1. The power is out 2. It takes tokens. I could write a book about my years on the Blvd. Now I work for an insurance company working the chat queues. The amount of stupid is appalling.


I had a girlfriend who worked tech support for one of the cable companies, back in 04 when that real bad hurricane streak of 5 in about 5 weeks hit Florida, I think Charlie was the worst?But the day after, I think it was the Miami Broward area that got absolutely fucked in it, but she was like people who wont have power for probably a week were calling asking when the cable was going to get back on. She said she was thinking "Do you even have a house, with a tv in it, to watch right now?" !!! When i think back on that, I realize now why Florida had such a bad time with the pandemic.


Florida. The state of stupid


I am currently on the phone with a customer who is asking for our phone number.


I got "Do you work here?" yesterday, while wearing a company t-shirt and a radio on my belt.


I've gotten that question while standing behind the counter at money center wearing my vest and name badge. I think sometimes they just don't know how to start a conversation!


They walk in "Is the slurpee machine broken?" As they point the one with the big gaint Out of of Order sign on it.


No that just means that when you pull the cherry you get grape… it’s all out of order. Dipshit.


I save that kind of snark for the customers I like they always get a kick out of it.


Those are my favorite. There’s this one old lady that comes into my store (we order and purposefully don’t stock a brand of beer specifically for her), but she’s one of those people who have a big heart in the center, then just layers of thick skin around it. The very first time I met her (I live in Connecticut, but I’m from Louisiana), I knew exactly the kind of person she was and immediately sassed her back. She said, “Oh, you’re a character.” I said, “No ma’am. I’m from the south. I’m a smartass.” We’ve been buddies ever since. Every once in a while we’ll pass each other in the isle, lean in to each other, and whisper, “fuck off.” It really is a beautiful friendship.


"No public restrooms" sign on the entrance doors "Do you have restrooms in here?"


"Can you open more tills?" All tills were open and we even had people at customer service and appereal.


I worked at a bank. Answered the phone and it’s an old lady: “Hello dear. Can you tell me if the post office is open?” Thinking she misdialed I said “No ma’am I can’t. This is ABC Bank. You need to call the post office to ask that [obv pre-Google].” She tells me “I did call but they weren’t answering.”


This is the funniest thing I've ever seen on reddit! I'm dying, lmao My and my dad's job involves dropping off our shipments at the post office almost every day, I can't wait to ask him if he called first when he's at the door! Today is actually a holiday, and so the post office is closed, but yesterday I forgot and almost prepared my shipments. If it was me alone, I probably would have gone there too 😂


It says remove card. Should I take it out?


It says "insert card"....? \*swipes card*


A guest wanted a plate set endorsed by a celebrity that was on sale for $118 for $11 because it was in a wrong spot on a shelf in a completely different area in the store. She demanded to speak to a manager and the ETL came up to help. She said she should get it for $11 since it was in the wrong place! ETL said no a guest probably discarded it and placed it there. Then the guest said the law is that you have to give it to me at that price. Now I hated this particular ETL but what I loved is that she did not suffer fools at all. She said ma'am do you want it or not? The woman kept on with its the law that I get it for $11. The ETL said last chance. You want it or not? Guest asked will I get it for $11? ETL said no. Guest harped on: but the law says... ETL told nearest team member, here put this in strays. Handed them the plate set and she walked away. Lol!!!


At my store, that trick only works on food items up to $20. Also, if the text on the label doesn't match the item's name or brand, then their "but the law says" bullshit doesn't apply. If someone (read: lazy customer) put a $5 food item with a sign that says "LIGHT BULB 2PK" for $3.50, then the cheap customer will be paying $5, *not* $3.50. I do not understand the stupidity of people.


What about when they say crap they think is funny but it’s…just not. *sees a customer two days in a row* Hey, do ya live here? Edit bc v true about asking if I work somewhere because it often confuses me. Am I not rocking this horrible illfitting shirt hard enough? Does my shelving totes of merchandise not give it away?


I was off for a week once to take a trip, and when I got back, I should note here, I am very fucking obviously American, born in this country , a woman asked me where I'd been. I was like I took a trip to Detroit to visit someone. She looked at me like I was from mars, and said "Oh I thought they brought you people from other countries, and you lived in dorms and just worked everday.". She was serious too.


The idiocy and lack of tact people have never ceases to amaze me


I heard a woman ask a black female co-worker of mine once if she still got foodstamps if she since a job. The co-worker was cool about it and just brushed it off. But just wow man.


I remember freshman year of college (MSU) a girl from rural Michigan said it was the first time she’d seen a black person irl


"What's the difference between the olives with the pits and the olives without the pits?" Miss, think about what you just said and infer the answer by yourself.


Had an older gentleman fall down and bust open his head. Blood running every where’s in between 2 aisles. Before I could get there, there were customers stepping over him and acting like they were totally in inconvenienced. I stopped them and let them know there was an emergency and to go down another aisle. Of them says “why do they let people fall down and cause a disturbance?”


"I'd like to speak to the manager. That corpse in aisle 9 is extremely inconvenient."


I was on the phone with a customer and they asked me to text them a picture of a product


“can i combine last months and this month reward points?” a whole line of people asked me that after i just explained to the person in front of them that you can’t A WHOLE FUCKING LINE. “can you take the jalapeños out of the jalapeños poppers?” and “can you switch the mozzarella cheese for the cheese in the jalapeño poppers?” it’s fast food, all of our products are frozen and come as is no i can’t, then the lady proceeded to yell at me “you either can or can’t” and i said “i literally just said i can’t” then she yelled the same “you either can or can’t” shit again.


"Is this dog food organic?" "No ma'am, but it is free-range. Why, only last week, it was running round a paddock."


"Do you take US Dollar?" I live in Sweden. Yes the customer was USian.


USian. That’s amazing. We prefer UasseS


When I said "okay have a good day I need to make an announcement" (when I was done with his order btw) "oh so..😩😍 that's your voice I'm going to hear over the speakers in the store🥰" ?? I was all uhhhhh.. yeah🤨


A lady came up to me with a "Microwave Dish Cover" (clearly written on the sleeve of the cover) in her hand and dead seriously asked me if it was microwave safe. We had a second customer buy a digital oven thermometer and called us up to tell us it was broken. "Its saying it 25°c and I haven't even put it in the oven yet!" She thought the thermometer knew when it was in the oven and wouldn't work otherwise :)


"Is this chicken vegetarian?" It was a fully cooked BBQ smoked chicken. Cooked from raw. To this day I have no idea what she meant.


I had a customer ask if salmon was a vegan dish… it was a grown ass man to top it off


I had a customer when I was a waiter at Applebees ask me if we had the Salmon flown in from Alaska every morning. This was in GA.


“Yes. We pay for them to fly first class.”


You’d be surprised on how many times I’ve been given chicken and fish because people think its vegan. They get so happy like “look i made you a vegan meal” or this guy working at burger king argued with me saying chicken is their vegan burger, not the impossible one. Its wild


Maybe she meant was the chicken fed a vegetarian diet? Lol. Who knows.


“Well, the chicken was a vegetarian when it was alive.”


Narrator: "That chicken had previously eaten many rodents"


I'm vegetarian, and some people just don't understand/know what the terms vegetarian or vegan mean.


How much is the free stuff?


Do I have to get 2 with the buy one get one free? I just want one.


Had a customer ask me where the eggs were, I told her aisle 15. She came back to me 5 minutes later apparently she can’t find them. I offered to show her so she follows me like a sheep. I carry on walking to the eggs and she stops, right under the sign that says eggs/milk/jam that hanging above the long life milks. She thought the sign for eggs should be right where the long life milk is. “No eggs see” she points. And so it is in every aisle a sign hanging above that tells you the number and what’s in it. So coffee and tea is aisle 9 but I’m not going to tell you where Nescafé gold blend is 🤦🏼‍♀️


"These microwaves here; are they microwaves?"


I got one! I was asked if we have anymore hamburger buns. “Probably, but they’ll be frozen” “Well how does that work?”


We don't take fucking apple pay


“Do you work here?” No, I’m just wearing this lanyard because it has my name on it. I worked at Urban Planet for 2 months last year… which didn’t have any form of identifying employees from the customers - besides use folding clothes. So, I can (somewhat) understand confusion.


"Where are the magazines?" *standing in front of a big ass display of magazines* 🤪


The amount of times people have asked me where something is while we're in the aisle of where said thing is astronomical.


Working in a pet supply store. We sometimes get customers who buy dry dog food or dental hygiene treats for dogs asking us what it tastes like. Like I get it. The package sometimes says “palatable for dogs” but does not say what “flavour”. But c’mon… No, I have not tried it actually. Would you like me to give it a go? This is not retail but I also have had “do you work here?” working as nursing staff. I guess it’s very common? But I walked into a patient room with a BED PAN and got asked this…Yeah no, I just like offering bed pans randomly to random people?


"do you work here" I'm wearing a green shirt and a dollar tree name tag "Is this $1.25?" No it's clearly marked as $5


Got asked a lot, usually by quite overweight people, "can you take a napkin and blot the grease off my burger? I can't have all of that grease." Maybe fast food burgers are not for you, then?


Or they order a bunch of fattening food, then go give me a diet coke.


They always did that. 400lb people ordering a double western bacon cheeseburger (blot the grease off), large fries and a 32oz dt coke, like it was going to cancel out the 1500 calories they just consumed.


Not necessarily questions but, dumb interactions. While working at Target one very understaffed night, I had a lady call Walmart to complain about us. On another occasion I had man flip out on me because I told him we didn't carry a product. He insisted someone at Best Buy said we did. Would not accept the fact that Best Buy has nothing to do with Target.


I so love when people come in all "do you have X product?" no "but \[store across the street that has no connection to you besides being in the same area\] said you did!" like damn I guess they know better than me who actually work here. Also the "why does \[store across the street that's a completely different kind of store\] close earlier than your store?"


Many, many conversations with grown adults explaining that oxygen in a balloon will not float. "It won't. No, I know it goes up in the air if you kick it, that doesn't mean it will float. Yes, I'm sure. Okay let me demonstrate!" These people were allowed to drive cars and have children!


This one wins tbh


Me, working in a record store. Customer: do you have some place I can change my pants?


Now THAT is a story… do go on.


I told the guy no, and he proceeded to argue with me. I told him to go to the Dairy Queen across the street. And laughed at his dumb ass.


Hey do you have that song by that one group, that was out a few years ago? You know, they sang that other song too.


Is it the one that goes nuh-nuh na-nuh-naaa joom joom waaaaa?


Oh yeah!! That guy!! He asks for requests at my gigs! And his girlfriend always asks for that song that just came out 3 years ago...you know...the good one!..


“Are you open?” when they call on a holiday. No, no I’m just here answering the phone when we’re closed for funsies.


Last year, in the middle of a busy ass wide open sunday afternoon in the grocery store I was working at, I was kind off back around the meat department, assload of customers all around me, it was fucking packed. This woman walked up to me out of the crowd and goes "Are you open right now?", I looked at her for a second, and went, yes. I wanted to go "No, we are just practing today. We'll be open for real tomorrow.". This lady walked across a parking lot full of cars, with other people, into the doors, which were open, saw the check out lanes with lines, passed that, saw people on all the aisles, and was still not sure we were open. Let that sink in.


.-. I work at a discount retailer & the number of ppl that will approach me with a single shoe in their hand and go “do you know where the other one of these is?” Like ???? No???? Should I ??????


Unrelated but in our shoe department we occasionally have single shoes that come up missing. We always wonder if someone is stealing a single shoe or if they hid it somewhere. I mean what kind of person steals ONE shoe? Someone with only one leg maybe? Lol


I work at Goodwill. When we get a single shoe, it's a lost sole


Customers will literally take one single shoe all over the mfn store I stg 😭 we have sooo many single shoes bc ppl just do not put them back where they got them. And they’re always like “???” when I start to physically look for the other shoe they want on the sales floor LOL like I should just have a magic bag w the missing shoe in it


I work returns in a hardware store Had somebody ask if they can return an empty can of paint and different person asked if they can return the four pieces of pipe coupling left out of a 10 pack.


“How do I get there from here?” Me: where’s “here”? “My house.” How the hell am I supposed to know where you live dumbass?


"I don't want this whole can of beans. Can you cut it in half for me?" Cut it... A can of beans. I wanted to cry. What the actual fuck?!!


Me. " you'r card was declined" Customer: " run it as credit" Me: we only have one button for credit/debit and gift cards, I don't have any other way to run it" Customer: swipe it, don't use the chip" Me: here let me take the thing down and let you handle it" ( so I take it down and stick it out the window) Customer: (swipes card) "Why is it saying insert chip."


I work in pharmacy, have done for about six years now. This guy comes in and asks me for drug tests, those little cartridges that test for the presence of THC or prescription/street drugs. No prob, I show him where they are. Then, he asks me for "thrush sachets." We don't stock a thrush treatment that comes in a sachet. All we have are tablets, creams or pessaries. I tell him it doesn't come in a sachet. He shakes his head and "patiently" explains to me that yes, it does. "We have uti medicine in a sachet, is that maybe what you're thinking of?" He's starting to get annoyed now. "No, it's not a uti! I know it's for thrush!" "Do you know what colour the packet was? Maybe I can find someone who stocks the one you're looking for." "It comes in a small green box and it's lemon or cranberry flavoured." Then it clicks. "I think you're talking about Ural. For urinary tract infections?" "No, I know it's for thrush." He repeats. I show him where the Ural is, and he excitedly tells me this is it, this is what he's looking for. Yep, he's confirmed my suspicions, I immediately understand what he's trying to do. "Hey man no judgement but... are you trying to use both of these at the same time? The test and the sachets?" He falters for a second. "What do you mean?" "It's an old wives tale, it doesn't actually work." He paused for a second, went "yes it does, my mate said so" and left with the test and the Ural. Sorry dude, I tried to warn you. TL;DR: a dude comes into my pharmacy for drug tests and uti medication, thinking it would give him a negative result on his drug test. He didn't believe me when I told him it didn't work like that.


My first IT job was help desk for a chain of hospitals in Pittsburgh. I was asked entirely too frequently "What's google?" "What's firefox?" "What's a browser?" You are a medical professional. I know that expertise in one field doesn't necessarily translate to other areas but *how do you not know what Google is???*


On the complete other end, I love it when people ask if I work there. I’m a sales rep and I’m always behind the counter because that’s where all of my product is. I wear a dark blue polo most days, same color as clerks at Walgreens, RaceTrac, and other chains. I look like I’m wearing the same thing but I do not work there. Unless I can immediately see an obvious store logo on someone’s shirt, then I usually ask if they work there. Because I love it when people don’t assume I work there and start asking me to print of their gas receipt for them.


I get asked where our ice is at at least once a week, when the ice is in a big cooler at the front of the store that is clearly labeled at could not be more obvious.


“So I can just sit anywhere?” Me being the hostess at a light up booth under the giant light up sign that says eat at (restaurants name) “No, I’m just decoration”🙃


Do I have to take the plastic off it before I eat it?


I've been asked to help by customers in places I don't work in and a few have gotten mad at me for not being an employee


Someone asked my them 8 year old if she worked there bc she had her little cub vest on


Known asshole comes to the service desk with a bottle of fresh juice in each hand. 'Can you explain to me WHY this bottle of juice (shows me bottle in right hand) has the pulp on the top, and THIS BOTTLE (shows me bottle in left hand) has the pulp on the bottom? Hmmm?' I just stood there staring at him with a blank look on my face, not knowing what to say. I was thinking, because, science? Like you want me to explain physics to you? For all I know, he shook one bottle and not the other. He made me call the manager for an explanation on that. They got into an argument about his attitude, and she almost banned him. I wish she had.


Worked at a sports clothing store and was asked if we sold guns. I flexed and said only these guns and not for sale. We literally sold shoes and clothes


When I worked at Toys R Us, one dude asked me if we sold cat food. That has yet to be beaten for THE stupidest question I've ever been asked as a worker.


Work at a Off Airport Carpark. Firstly, because we are on top of google, we get about 6-7 calls a shift asking if we are the other very different named carparks. They even book with us, then turn up to other car parks, pay for it there, despite us being prepaid, then when they get back, they click on our text link for pick up, then get on the other parks bus. When we call, they say, Oh sorry, we are on the other bus. Then they ring for a refund, as they didn't use us. A couple have parked on level three, then ring, and ask when the bus is coming, despite driving past bus on level one, that is too tall to go up into the facility. Standing in front of the LIFT sign, where our lift is, saying I am waiting for a Lift to the airport. Just yesterday, a customer parked over a hat that blocked a carpark as reserved. It is still stuck under their car. I'm not getting dirty getting it out. Since Covid, people have become stupider for some unknown reason. There are many more.


"Why is my sushi cold? It was warm the last time I came in." ".... ma'am?" -------- And at a Texas Roadhouse, I set a bag of peanuts on the table and this woman told me her toddler was severely allergic to peanuts. The floor was. Covered. Covered in peanuts. They had walked through a cloud of peanut dust to get to the table. I was not permitted to call CPS. Kid was fine so I guess she was just stupid but.


“Can you price match :store exclusive item: with :competitor exclusive item:?” In what fucking universe do you expect me to price match a totally different brand exclusive to the competitor? If you want that price, go there. Price matching imho is stupid to begin with.


People frequently come to my register in the middle of the dress department to ask where the dresses are. Like, use your eyes!!


"Do you have 2x6x8s in 10 feet?"


I think the dumbest question by far was the one kid that called asking for a specific type of pistol ammo. I'm like dude this is dollar general not Cabela's 😂


I had a guy walk up to me, put his hand on the lighter display and ask if we had any lighters. I'm like, "you mean, like the ones under your hands? " "Oh shit! Yea! I need like 5". I just stared at him until he got that I was not picking out his lighters for him.


I had a woman ask me what the heck is that ringing sound. Is it the security tag on the clothes? I said no, it’s your phone. I swear I couldn’t make that up. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️


"Why aren't you married?"


(at my restaurant) "when do all the shops in this area close?" no idea but I know when this place closes because I work *here*


“Are you guys open?” She asks my boss and i with another customer just a few feet away as well. How would you be able to come into the store if we werent open?!


I HAVE A PERFECT ONE! Couple yrs back i worked in a store that was very popular for our bags of milk (just canadian things) and we were getting our fridge section redone. the weeks leading up to this, we posted signs fair warning people we would be out of milk for x amount of time while we got the new fridges installed. queue the numerous amounts of people asking “you guys don’t have milk?” during the renovation despite signs being up for weeks before and during, the fridge isle being half blocked off, no fridges in actual sight. was a horrendous time i wish upon no one. common sense ain’t so common


A coworker who was doing samples asked me if I was off work as I was pushing a shopping cart full of grocery’s holding my wallet and drinking a cup of soda! I said no I was tired of working and said fuck it I’m gonna shop on the clock and go home….


"Is this your best price?" ***No, MY best price is double what I just quoted you, are you happy to continue at MY best price?*** That usually stops them asking for a fucking discount. *Note, I'm self employed, have been for 35 years*


"do you work here?" sir I'm literally behind the register


“I need a glue” “Okay, what are you using it for?” “Doesn’t matter, just need a good one” Proceed to show him my personal preference and he tells me he already tried those. So I have to ask again, what do you need it for when he’s already tried at least 6 different ones and none seem to work? “I need it for my cracked rim, I’m trying to fix it before I sell my car”


Me: We do not have it in stock Customer: What do you mean you do not have it in stock?! I mean exactly what I said, what could you possibly not understand about that sentence...


I worked in a clothing store and I hear a someone trying to wrangle up their unruly kid. That’s my cue to move away as quickly as possible. I feel sharp talon finger nails rapidly tapping my shoulder. I snip “please don’t touch me, use your words if you can”. She asks “Can you watch my kid? Just need to try this on.” Me (deadpan): this isn’t a babysitting service. You knew this when you left the house this morning. I’m not the help, F off. My mic was on, management and my team heard the exchange. Didn’t get in trouble for the F off comment.


During covid capacity restrictions, we had to limit to cars in our parking lot due to plenty of areas to park elsewhere and customers attempt to walk in. Had a sign near lot entrance saying "Do Not Park Off-site." Guy comes walking up sidewalk from elsewhere and looks at sign, then asks "What does do not park off-site mean? Literally could not come up with a response other than, "Do not park off-site."


Oh dear, my time to shine! 😹 (I have a book of stupid questions that I used roget from customers all the time. It's one of my favourite things to look over if ever I i feel a bit stupid! 😹) "Do I have to take these (studded leather bracelets) off when I shower?" "Are you just opening?". No, I'm a vampire, I'm losing in the morning before the sun melts me. "Huh?" "Do you sell baking trays?". Sir, this is a clothing store. I have so many! 😹😹


Back in April our office caught fire, everything in the store is covered in plastic, black soot, cleaners busting their asses to clean everything. Store smells like burnt plastic and chemicals. Every, single, customer. OMG it stinks in here, did y'all have a fire??!! Me... *Blank stares, covered in black ash* nope we're cooking meth.


“Will this kill my roses?” Proceeds to put a weed and plant killer on my counter that literally had a picture of a rose bush on it. Yes, yes it will indeed send your roses to hell. She then got mad that it would, got further mad when we pointed out the stuff that was exactly what she was looking for and storming out without anything. Not the first time she pulled that crap but definitely the dumbest. Hopefully the drought killed her stupid rose bush so no one has to suffer that exchange again. (Normally my customers weren’t that bad at all since it was a feed store but the ones that were were really bad and really stupid)


A lady asked where our plant section was. We're in a shopping centre, on the middle floor. You think we have room, and exposure to the elements for a green house?? I asked for clarification, because we do sell seeds and gardening equipment. But no... She wanted to look at grown plants. 🥴


"Is this a Mobil or an Ampol?" I looked around at the signage, advertising, and other dead giveaways, then slowly (because I was stunned) said, "It's a Mobil." 🤦🏻‍♀️


We had a internet service outage at work today, and had a sign up mentioning our internet service outage. I’m sure everyone here isn’t surprised that we still had people come in asking, “Is the internet out?”


Short stint in retail, I worked at an ear plug store. They are one of the WORST rated ones. Got called out for charity scams, but besides the point. Someone called and asked if we sold ear plugs. The name of the store has EAR PLUGS, as most of the name says.


I work in a grocery store, and someone walked up to me and asked, "Is this lane open?" No, the light is on, and I am standing here for no reason.


Not a question but a command. I need you to stand outside the bathroom door while I use it. She couldn't figure out how to lock the bathroom door (she was high).


"Where can I find the second and third hobbit books?" This customer was convinced that because there were three movies there had to be three books and refused to believe otherwise. She eventually stormed out, mad


"Can I have chocolate white milk?" Then looked at me like I was dumb when I was confused.


“Do you have this in other sizes?” It was a thrift store… [edit] Remembered another one: Phone rings at the weed shop I worked at… “Hi! Do you ship to Texas?” The fuck..?! Absolutely not, my dude! 🤣


"You mean to tell me I need an address to send this?"


"Can I return these waffles? My cat doesn't like the new label."


If I work there. While standing in front of the register with my bright orange vest, hat with the store name on it. If they could pay “here” just because I wasn’t directly in front of the register. Where are the “begonias?” Me: which ones? Them: You know, the ones I always plant in my yard 🤦🏽‍♂️ If we sell dirt. Dirt is the shit you have on you when you’re dirty, it’s called soil. The list goes on!


C-“Is Molly short for anything?” “Yeah it’s short for Molly”


My name is Trey. You won't believe how many people look at my name tag and call me Todd, Tony, Travis, Tracy, Tim, Taylor and so forth. Then they go "Why'd your parents give you such a weird name.". And I want to say back "Why'd your parents let you drop out of 2nd grade?".


“Do you work here” while I’m dressed in business casual and standing behind the fine jewelry counter. Nah I just like to stand here. Geez


Customers asking if I “work here” but ‘here’ is actually the supermarket I’m buying my lunch from while on break with a completely different name, logo, and uniform to the store I work at. It’s worse when they see the retail worker uniform and assume I’ll help them even though we’re not in my store.


Are you in our loyalty program? No. I’m not loyal. Hardy har har. 🙄


I've had a customer come in and ask me if we sell cigarettes...I was standing at the register which is in front of the cigarette display case


at my previous job, we would always run multiple promotions for different items in the store. one time we had a section that was “5 For $10” and another was “5 For $15” - it would never fail, customers would consistently ask if they could do 3 from one section and 2 from another (or whichever variation). like bro, how much would you pay then? $10? $15? the math is quite literally not mathing. they are two separate deals, no you cannot mix and match.


Any time a customer asks if we have sports equipment/apparel. I work at a hunting/fishing store right across the street from a Dick's Sporting Goods