The person (29M) I’ve (27F) been dating for a couple of months doesn’t want to kiss but says they are really attracted to me. Is this normal? Do I wait it out?

For some context, I met a great guy and we connect on all levels and he is everything I want in a partner and he feels the same. The only problem we’ve had is that we don’t kiss as he’s uncomfortable kissing so early on. This makes me feel undesired and like I’m just his friend. He says he will eventually get there and that he is really attracted to me. Our dates are fun but we don’t touch each other much at all. How long do you think I should wait? Is he being honest? Does he actually like me that way?


Potential herpes situation?


>How long do you think I should wait? Is he being honest? Does he actually like me that way? How long do YOU want to wait for? It's your time you should be able to decide when you're tired of waiting. No one can tell you that. It's safe to say strangers on the internet have no clue if he's being dishonest. It's perfectly fine to express your frustration, but you can't force him to be physical with you. And he's well within his right not to do anything physical with you if he doesn't want to. However, people generally show physical affection when they're attracted, but there's no golden rule on when or what should be done. The takeaway is that you have autonomy over YOUR life and actions. If you aren't happy with the turn of events, and if it's affecting your self-esteem negatively, then you have the choice to move on.


How long is a couple of months? It took my partner and I about 3 months to get to kissing. We both had a lot of baggage we had to work through. What made the wait tolerable though was that as we worked through our baggage we did it together. We talked about it, about our hangups and hesitations and what we hoped for and where we were in terms of readiness. I would approach him about this and ask for a conversation. Let him know you don't want to pressure him, but you need to know if he actually is working towards a physically intimate relationship and at least general idea of where he is in terms of readiness. I think that's a fair request. If he doesn't agree and can't or won't answer, it's probably best to part ways.


I try not to be pessimistic, but this truly sounds like “sunk cost fallacy” dating. Essentially, he is getting you invested in the relationship until you have committed so much time in the relationship that you are willing to accept things you wouldn’t normally accept, just because you have invested so much of your time in the relationship already. Then when he drops the bombshell, you are possibly willing to overlook what normally would be a deal breaker because there are so many other positives in the relationship. It’s the “look how great we are together, why is the one thing such a deal breaker for you?” In the meantime, he has successfully spent months nibbling away at your self-esteem and feeding your insecurities so you will be even more willing to accept a red flag just so you have the validation he has been withholding


Strange honestly! Past relationship didn’t kiss me by date #3 so I did lol Sexual compatibility is as important as emotional compatibility. Up to you how long do you want to invest to see if you are compatible?




Lol this happened to me once in college, he was Mormon. It didn’t last. And it didn’t feel great at the time. It depends how you’re feeling about it, it doesn’t sound great tbh