I kind of see why he's annoyed, to be honest. You won't go out of your way for him at all. "For example, when he moved, he was annoyed that I couldn’t help him unload his stuff when he moved as I would be tired next day for work." That's kind of crap. Unloading some of his stuff shouldn't have made you that tired the next day. Even if it did? So what? There's not a person alive that hasn't gone to work tired on occasion. Did he help you move your things into the apartment? Did he complain about not wanting to exhaust himself? His friend already being busy isn't the same as "I don't want to because I might be tired tomorrow." He took great care of you when you were sick but you didn't return the favor. If my hubs was in an accident, I'm not going to care about being picked up late. I care about if he's hurt and what I can do to help him.

I’m with the other poster here. You “couldn’t help him unload anything” because you would be “tired at work the next day”? Honestly that kind of made my jaw drop a little. Like what? What a nonsense excuse. His friend simply had other obligations that day which is entirely different. If someone who was supposed to love me gave such a BS excuse I would be questioning what sort of spoiled person I’d gotten myself involved with. And yes I’m a woman as well, in fact I’m a 52 year old woman and in fact just recently helped someone I cared about empty out an entire shop for several hours on a night before work. Was I tired at work? No more than usual nope.

Partners should be held to a higher standard - BECAUSE they’re a partner. > I couldn’t help him as I would be tired the next day This is absurd - who thinks like this?? Friends have no problem helping friends because they’re friends. It’s so sad that he can trust his friends to be there more than his partner. You sound like you’re lazy and whiny. He got into accident and you made it all about YOU. You weren’t understanding and you were annoyed. Oh no how DARE HE get into a car accident! Grow the fuck up. You sound childish and like you have 0 fucks to go the extra 12 feet for your boyfriend. > he says partners are different than friends No shit???

You are supposed to be his person to rely on no matter what. Yes, these are all little things- but the little things add up to the big things. He's willing to do all the little things for you to make sure you know he appreciates and loves you, and in these instances you always have an excuse to why you can't do what he's asking. Yes, moving would make you tired, but instead of helping him and dealing with being tired you just left him to do it on his own. He should hold you to a higher standard than his friends because you aren't his friend. You are his girlfriend. You want him to be there for you, but won't return the favor. Please know I'm not trying to be harsh, but all the little things we do for others is what helps show we care and are appreciated. I think he just doesn't feel like you care as much as he does.

I think you are turning this around to be about how he treats his friends or his supposed double standard, when the real issue here is that you don't put any effort into your relationship. Were you seriously annoyed that he was late to pick you up because he got into an accident? You need to work on being less selfish and looking out for his needs a bit more.

You sound like a terrible gf. You don’t deserve such a nice human. You don’t even appreciate him. I’m surprised he hasn’t left your ass already. Show him this post maybe it will help him see clarity

Yes, it is normal for people to have higher expectations of their partners than of their friends. But that doesn’t even apply in this case. He just wants you to do normal things that a partner will do for the other person in their relationship and you’re totally failing to do so.

It’s not that you don’t do things right. It’s that you don’t seem to care about him at all. He’s putting in the effort and you aren’t.

The helping him move. I was on your side and annoyed at him. Then I got to how you failed to help him during Covid. What the fuck? Stop with your excuses. Be an adult. Set an alarm, get your ass out of bed and be a caretaker for your sick partner. Then you complain when he got rear ended? Jesus Christ. You sound spoiled and narcissistic. If he was writing this post, I would advise that he break up immediately and send you back to being spoiled by your parents. A relationship goes both ways. Your partner gets sick, you get rid of excuses and you take care of them. Full stop.

Just….ditto. All the dittos.

I'm so glad you posted here. I intend to write you a thoughtful response, I hope you take the time to read it. >**My (26F) bf (26M) holds me to a higher standard than his friends. Is this normal?** In general yes. You are a potential life partner. I have no idea what your bf wants, but anyone I called my girlfriend, especially if we were dating for more than a couple of months, I was looking at as a potential wife. I am looking to see if you are as committed to me as I intend to be for you. If you were my gf, your well being is a very high concern of mine. I would expect the same from you. No, you can't always do everything and you have a life and conflicts, but fitting me into your schedule is high on your list, just like it is for me to make sure taking care of you is a high priority. By comparison, his friends are less committed to him, and he knows he's asking them a favor and he's lower on their list, where as he should be higher on your list. >he took good care of me when I had Covid > >he got sick with Covid recently and asked me to get some stuff (he asked the previous night) before my work started but I woke up late, so couldn’t Taking care of him should have been a top priority. If you couldn't, then at the very minimum you should be feeling bad that you were unsuccessful and be apologetic to him about it. You don't seem to really think reciprocating is important..... he does (and most people do). >he got into an accident (someone rear ended his vehicle) and that I wasn’t more understanding and got annoyed that I couldn’t be picked up on time. Holy crap, he could have been injured and all you thought about was yourself. He's right to be pissed off. >I really do love him and just because I couldn’t help/comfort him a few times doesn’t mean I’m not a good girlfriend, right? I think you need to hear this, and I don't mean to sound cruel, but you aren't a good girfriend.... not because you failed to take care of him when he was sick, but you genuinely do not seem to care about his well being or that you aren't reciprocating his attention and care to you. When my former gf had an emergency appendectomy (and three week recovery from bad infection) I was there every day, I made sure she had her homework, and did what I had to do to make sure she had what she needed and help her out. That's the kind of attitude you should be displaying if you love someone, and you don't seem to be doing that at all. I really hope you read this several times and change your thinking on relationships. You aren't his friend, your his potential life partner, and 1 partner (you) isn't reciprocating.

Your BF needs to know before your relationship gets more serious that he cannot rely on you & that your expectations are that you aren’t more more important than friends/acquaintances therefore your standards should be the same. Maybe you all should just be FWB? Edit: I read your other post - you don’t prioritize your BF. Please break up w him, he’s probably looking for a woman he can marry & that’s not going to be you.

Based on your post history, you are definitely in a self-centered mindset and not at all in a suitable mental or emotional place to be in a relationship right now. Yes, it’s normal to be held to a higher standard than friends because he’s made you a higher priority than his friends. A person who is ready to be in a relationship doesn’t need to have that explained. Your boyfriend deserves better.