I'm 18 and my last year of high school starts next week. I've sorta fallen out with my best friend, my others friends are all doing things and I'm just at home. My only parent doesn't have a car and works a lot; we live in an isolated area where there's no real community. I just feel so stuck. I'm alone most of the time, I exercise, do the dishes, read and do a ton of self help stuff like meditation but I still feel utterly fucked.
I browse reddit and youtube aimlessly as well as use porn as a way to escape my thoughts. Thoughts of wishing I could hangout with my friends, or have a girlfriend to talk to. Fuck, I've tried getting to know girls and I usually just get uninterested after a while. I've even been so desperate to try and look for friends and even partners on reddit but it goes no where. I've stopped my anxiety/depression medication cause my parent can't afford it anymore.
I can't work yet because no transport plus work is hard to find in the country I live in, I can't talk to anyone, I can't find anyone. And then it feels like one big pity party so I try and learn philosophy and live in the moment. Just breathe you know. But it all comes back to this...
This feeling of emptiness and entrapment in a maze from which I can't escape. And you know what? I'm angry, really angry. Because I desperately want people to notice this post. To notice me and just fucking talk to me. But the thing is that doesn't even happen either.
I don't know man, I just feel trapped.
When school starts, I'll have all the opportunities in the world again. And I won't take them.
By - LilWizard32
You need to learn to love yourself before you expect others to love you.. as an introvert, I don’t really fully understand wanting to be around people but I can tell you this much.. My life didn’t even BEGIN to get better until I was 26.. you can’t rush life all you can do is take it day by day man.. most if not all of your high school ’friends’ will start falling off pretty fast after you guys graduate and they start hooking up and having babies.. I’ve been in your shoes with depression before as well but trust me.. it DOES get better brother.. time is all it takes.. breathe and let life happen.. if you’re lonely for a while then so be it.. like I said.. learn to love yourself and appreciate this temporary solitude
Thanks brother, I'm actually an introvert too at least I think I am, I just feel as if I'm one that's been alone for too long. But I'll try and use the advice, appreciate the solitude
Everyone is different socially.. at least you got the internet 🤷♂️ try to get into video games.. they have always been one of my best friends even to this day
these are all things that I have and others have likely experienced before, you aren’t alone. However you’re still young and there will be many good and bad times coming your way but the good ones are gonna be the best! You’ll meet your people that fit you and a partner that’ll be the one! Sounds cliche but It all just takes time and you have to roll with what happens but once you get it it’ll all be worth it! In the meantime take care of yourself as best as you can and trust that everything will be okay because it will be :)
No advice but in the same boat. Hang in there.