T O P
AnyKaleidoscope6837

You should split the poll based on gender


WhiteBlackGoose

and it's already been done. Here's a summary: most men think it's a compliment to her natural beauty most women think that it's offensive because it disregards all efforts for makeup and I kinda see the women's point here, so this time I chose insult. But it obviously depends


AnyKaleidoscope6837

As a girl, I already know what the expected results are and the reasoning behind each genders decisions, as this is a poll concerns how a girl would take it, I thought it would be good to split it to highlight to other guys that most girls will take this as an insult


agpass

yeah, the last time this happened, there were a ton of guys that just ignored the feedback and said women should learn to take it as a compliment. seems odd to me to force a compliment on someone that you know they think is an insult but I guess this *is* reddit


MollyPW

>women should learn to take it as a compliment Also said about catcalling...


agpass

right? let’s maybe let women decide what women think of as a “compliment”


Odd_Conversation1295

I'll admit, I've said this before and I meant it as a compliment. The woman I said it to understood I meant it as a compliment but she kindly explained it to me from her perspective, which I understood and apologized. It's important to be understanding. I'm sure some people say this meaning to insult others but I believe most of the time it's meant as a compliment. It's important to understand what the person saying it means and it's important to understand how it is taken by the woman. It's important to be forgiving and to explain it to each other. We should all be more understanding, more forgiving, and strive to learn and be better people. A compliment is only a compliment if it's taken as a compliment. >seems odd to me to force a compliment on someone that you know they think is an insult but I guess this is reddit Any man who does that isn't worth your time.


agpass

I agree that there needs to be understanding but that definitely goes both ways. giving unsolicited advice is usually not a great idea regardless of it’s intent. I can understand that you meant it as a compliment but you have to also understand that it might not be taken that way and, even if it is, the person wasn’t asking (unless they were, that’s a totally different story). it might be take. negatively simply because it was unsolicited.


Spook404

Probably the silent majority taking it in stride though, not like people who agree have much reason to chip in


WhiteBlackGoose

That true


WolfmansGotNards2

I say that you're already beautiful, and when you get done up, it just enhances what's already there. Somehow, you went from a 10 to an 11.


7ypical_o6scu2ity

As I man, I've learned the PROPER thing to say is: "I think you're beautiful either way."


iriedashur

Yeah I 100% view this as negging, because the whole *point* of makeup is to make a person look better. If someone looks better "without makeup," it's probably bad makeup.


Here_For_Therapy

If a women is wearing makeup and you say she looks better without it, that's an insult. If a woman is not wearing makeup and you say *she looks nice*, that's a compliment. You don't compliment the shoes someone chose not to wear.


A1sauc3d

This is the correct answer


_o0Oo_

Exactly! Imagine a guy with a long thick and cared-for beard once he’s oiled it and trimmed it to look especially good, and he’s leaving the house in his suit dressed up especially for his wife. She takes one look at him and says ‘you look better without that beard, your face looks more handsome without it and in general I don’t think you need it. Why do you have a beard? Is it because you’re insecure about your jawline, because you shouldn’t be. I prefer it when you don’t have a beard.’ The guy would be like what?? That’s what you chose to say to me, really? I care for this beard, I think it is handsome af and I got ready especially to look great today for you. I was feeling myself and feeling great, and you decided that that was the best thing you could say to me?? Why couldn’t you have just said I was handsome, wow I didn’t know you hated my beard so much. Compliments do not involve putting down how someone currently looks for a version of them that you find more preferable. That’s at best a recommendation, and at worst it’s downright rude.


DaddyMelkers

I'd give you a trophy, but I'm out. So here: 🏆🎖🏅🥇


Jupi00

If I spend 20 minutes to put on make up for my boyfriend to tell me I look better without it I’d be pissed. It’s situational: If he says it when I’m not wearing make up I’m like “yay” But if the situation above occurs I get upset. (Yes this has happened before, almost sure it’s happened to every woman at this point)


still_gonna_send_it

That makes no sense to me (first mentioned scenario). Gf has make up on is “I love your makeup gf” gf without makeup on is “you’re so beautiful without makeup” it’s not hard to know how to phrase things like this and when to say them. Like when someone (not even a partner) is wearing a cool piece of clothing I say “that looks great on you” instead of “you look great in that” because I want them to feel like they rock the clothes instead of the clothes making them look good, implying that they wouldn’t look good with different clothes. After typing this I believe I overthink things Edit: to guys that don’t do that or can’t tell the difference I don’t mean to come off as rude


JoseDonkeyShow

Most men are complimented so infrequently that that don’t have a frame of reference for the nuance between those two statements


DaddyMelkers

I disagree. I get complimented a lot, but unlike other guys, I don't immediately assume they wanna fuck me. And there's this prevalent issue amongst men that think a girls smile means she wants his dick, and then get all weird if another guy compliments him. It's not so bad amongst the younger of us, and those used to a progressive upbringing, but those whom are older or with a more conservative upbringing and environment just don't know how to act with compliments from either sex (&/or gender, and other sexualities too. Some guys freak out when I complimentthem, cause I'm gay. Like, they think all us gays wanna fuck every man ever. We don't. We have standards).


Efficiency_79

I truly can not tell the difference tbh


iostefini

"that looks great on you" = you are making that clothing look good because you are so attractive "you look great in that" = you look better than you usually do (possibly implying that you usually look bad) because you're wearing attractive clothing To be honest though, most people won't care. There is nuance and a sensitive partner **would** care, but most will get that you're trying to compliment them and say they look good and just take it as you meant it.


Sahqon

It's not just an insult to her decorating abilities, it also lines up with stuff like "you should smile more", "you should be more pleasant, it's unladylike to do xy" and is seen as an attempt at control.


dark_blue_7

It's not just insulting because of her efforts at makeup. What it's *really* saying is "your face looks bad right now and you should fix it" – assuming it's said while she's wearing makeup. It's different if she's *not* wearing makeup and he says "oh wow you look even better" – *that's* a compliment! I really hope people can see the difference. It's never a compliment to tell someone how they should *change their current appearance*. It is a compliment to tell them when you like it.


borderline_cat

I’ve had other women say this to me. And it seriously feels like an insult and a half. At my last job they needed a selfie of me for something. So I pulled up a few. One I had done my makeup and thought I honestly looked hot instead of like a hobo. The second I wasn’t looking at the camera and had my cat on me. And the last one I was holding a turtle, had no makeup done, hair a mess, etc, and the lady was like ooo this one! “You’re prettier without makeup!” Like uhhh I looked like shit but thanks??? Another woman I knew had never really seen me do my makeup. But I had loads of time on my hands and decided to do it. Nothing over the top, the most over the top aspect was that I had a sparkly eyeshadow on in the corners of my eyes, but it was like a peachy pale pink color so not in your face. She came up to me and said “you don’t need all that! You’re prettier without it” again, like what?? I don’t understand how someone can see it as a compliment. Doing my makeup is no easy feat, especially since I rarely do it anymore. A full face of makeup can easily take me a half hour of my time, if not more. So it comes off like you’re saying “you just wasted your time and look like shit. Don’t you know your dark eye circles, acne, and blotchiness looks better?!?”


Iwrstheking007

I think it sounds like an insult, but saying you also look good without makeup sounds like a compliment to me


COZYCARD

"you look better without makeup" = bad "you look better with makeup" = bad There's no winning


emotionally_tipsy

I voted insult as a guy cuz of the wording. Imo if you say “you look good without makeup” instead, it implies the same message, that you look better without makeup without making it sound like you look bad with makeup


myychair

Often times women are wearing makeup that helps them achieve a natural look too so this is still playing with fire. Someone might have a face full of make up and you’d barely be able to notice


iswintercomingornot_

Avoid any sentence that starts with "you look better with/without ______". The whole approach is just awkward and kind of rude. When you use the word better you are automatically implying that the opposite makes them look worse. "you look worse without makeup" = bad "you look worse with makeup" = bad


aether22

How about... Your makeup makes you look fake.


whatever_person

Because no one ever asked you to evaluate their looks. Except for rare cases when someone explicitly did ask.


muffy2008

Yeah, never say “you look better x, y, or z”. It’s always an insult.


DesoleBitches

Exactly!!! People need to understand this! Hell is filled with "good intentions"


WhiteBlackGoose

In both cases you're saying "you did a bad job", so no wonder you're not winning. Consider saying "you look great!" instead


Han77Shot1st

This person has conversed.


BlooPancakes

They probably have conversed. But two things we should think of. 1. Telling someone you’re saying X after the told you A isn’t good.personally I wouldn’t address a woman with that compliment for fear it would be taken negatively because I 100% think of it as a compliment and would always be my intent. 2. I strongly agree with not making someone feel like you are insulting them especially when you genuinely want to compliment them.


Han77Shot1st

It’s a backhanded compliment, may not be the intention but compliments are for others to feel well, not for ourselves.


Wefee11

If you like her without makeup, tell her you like how she looks, when she doesn't wear it. If you like her with makeup do the same when she wears it, or say something along the lines of "I love your make up style".


1dentif1

Just say you look nice today, don't try and give her advice


fromWoopWoop

Which is why you don’t say shit


Munrowo

maybe just dont comment on it either way? "you look great!" works just fine


hexagonal_Bumblebee

"I like the way you look today." "This makeup suits you well" "You look beautiful" "You have beautiful features" And many more are ways you can compliment someone without insinuating that they should look a certain way because of your preferences. You are right, this isn't about whether you like makeup or not, this is about complimenting without demanding.


PGM01

"you look outstanding" - win-win


PoopsInSoups

“You look pretty”


aluminatialma

You look good


HippyGremlin88

The winning is when you understand that your opinion on whether a woman looks better with or without makeup is unwanted unless it's been asked for. Learn that you don't have to comment on a woman's physical appearance.


Joe_The_Eskimo1337

A compliment would be "you look nice with or without makeup." Saying one is better implies one is noticeably worse.


whorgans

Just say “you look good” whether she’s got makeup on or not.


katieleehaw

Men also have proven difficulty telling if someone is actually wearing makeup or not.


jambo_1983

The use of the word “better” is the key here. If you say she looks good without make up - that is a compliment If you say she looks better without make up, that suggests she looks worse with it


supergeek921

YES!


slinkywheel

Yep. Basically, you're saying she's shitty at using makeup lol. Definitely not a compliment.


Rachelsyrusch

You got it exactly right. Same goes for any kind of sentence like that Imagine you go to the hairdresser and get your hair cut and you go home and your wife just says" I liked it better longer" It's not a perfect comparison but that isn't a compliment either. It's just complaining, you're basically just complaining about someones looks in front of them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


taylor__spliff

This. She didn’t choose her face, but she did choose her makeup and apply it herself.


HorseyPlz

No the point is that the original isn’t even complimenting her face, just insulting her makeup skills


Oiggamed

My wife asked me if she wore too much makeup. I said not especially. But I personally feel it’s not necessary.


SpecialSauce92

Agreed. Something for everyone to consider here is make up is pretty close to an art form. Some people are better at applying it than others. So when someone says that another person looks better without making, it could be taken as an insult that the person wearing make up does a bad job of applying it


ShadowTryHard

It’s basically like “You don’t need makeup, cuz you look beautiful natural” rather than “You look better without makeup”


eulynn34

The way it's phrased is a backhanded compliment. I have generally learned that women don't appreciate unsolicited beauty tips from random men or co-workers. Generally don't say shit unless asked for your opinion, but keep it simple if you feel the need to compliment. Love that . looks great on you.


LuciusMaximal

I just wouldn’t say it.


Lussekatt1

If she didn’t ask me, or aren’t venting about some type insecurity they have about their face while not wearing make-up. If no one asked, why would I just tell a person what my preference for what they should do with their face and appearance?


BruceTheSpruceMoose

Right? I dunno if it’s an insult, but I’m smart enough to know not to say it. Why is “you look nice” so hard? Why you gotta qualify it?


alex891011

Most self aware redditor


badFishTu

Scrolled to far for this.


MJ_Duke

I just tip my fedora as I walk by. So much sexier.


YoungMoen97

That particular phrasing is an unsult


[deleted]

Yeah, it’s saying her makeup is bad basically. Maybe say she looks nice without makeup but it still looks really good


PGM01

It means that all the effort she took to put on makeup was for nought. She knows you meant she's always pretty and you find her attractive/gorgeous/good-looking without makeup too, but it's like you make an effort to look nice (dunno what'd you do, drees some tuxedos, cologne and whatnot) and she says to you that you look better in a tracksuit.


moonbeamsylph

That's a great way to put it! Lol


agpass

it would have to be “you look better in a track suit”


PGM01

True, thanks :)


PunkSpaceAutist

>it's like you make an effort to look nice (dunno what'd you do, drees some tuxedos, cologne and whatnot) and she says to you that you look better in a tracksuit. r/SuddenlySlavic


jdPetacho

I'm a dude, it's insulting. I also used to say that, as a compliment, until life gave me some perspective. Wether they do it for themselves or others, women put on makeup to feel good about the way they look, not to hide who they are. Now imagine that you just lost a bunch of weight, or you got a new haircut, or grew out a beard, or changed anything about the way you look and you're feeling great about yourself, and then someone says "I think you looked better before", how would you feel? You'd be like "fuck you dude, I was feeling great and now you kinda ruined it". I assume that's what it feels like for them, they like the way they look with makeup, and it's not your place to tell them what they should do with their appearance. But I encourage women in the comments to correct me if I'm wrong


wowguineapigs

Yeah you pretty much got it, it just bursts our bubble


naxanas

Absolutely, I'd say this is pretty accurate. As well as the fact that putting on makeup is a skill. Some people might genuinely look worse with makeup because their skills aren't that great yet. It's a unique insult because it feels both like you're saying "your FACE looks bad right now" mixed with "your makeup skills are lacking and need practice". Not fun


Multi-tunes

Absolutely this. Also the quality of the make up matters a lot too. People can spend a long time on their makeup only for it to run or look awful later in the evening just because the product itself isn't that great. I found a spectacular foundation that doesn't look like absolute shit after a couple hours (like bunching up in all your facial creases) and it goes on so nicely with a brush, and f*ck it's quite expensive, but I only put on makeup for special occations to cover all my scars and blemishes and I legit will never cheap out on rhat particular product ever again. And I am awful at eye makeup, so I just avoid it all together. Makeup is really hard to do well, honestly.


one-fish_two-fish

This is very accurate


FeetySam

Depends how she understands it. But pay attention on how to say it : - don’t say « you look better without makeup » - better say « you are naturaly beautiful » One made the girlfriends i had want to kill me, the other one made them get that heartmelting beautiful smile. Choose wisely


whorgans

“You’re naturally beautiful” is much better. “You look better without makeup” seems backhanded to me, and I’m not a particularly sensitive woman either


TheFunkyJudge

Yep. Translates to 'you wear too much makeup' or 'your makeup is awful' rather than the intended compliment.


typicalzemmiphobic

Not how she understands it. But rather how you say it!


BioTools

It kinda seems like a weird attempt to flirt, I'd prefer to say something like: You're already beautiful without


moonbeamsylph

I like that one, but even more when it's paired with "your makeup is pretty/looks cool too" because it acknowledges a) her makeup skills, and b) that she looks pretty with and without makeup.


Hohuin

"Your makeup perfectly enunciates your natural beauty." How was that?


vanishingtact

I wouldn't use enunciate. That's something totally different. "Enhance" would work.


NicCagesAccentConAir

>enunciates Idk, “accentuates” might be more what you’re going for


Hohuin

Could be the word my brain was looking for


updootsforkittehs

But that’s the whole point, like why does your opinion on how she looks matter at all? Women put makeup on for themselves, not just for the male gaze. That’s why it’s an insult when guys say this.


bricefriha

We're not only talking about flirting


BioTools

Neither am I, but it comes over as one of does 'Nice guys' comments.


bricefriha

Oh I get you!


Poppintags6969

Don't say this please.


Piranh4Plant

It essentially says “you don’t look good right now” and disregards the effort they put into their makeup


WorkingClassSheep

The woman may have put a lot of effort into her makeup. This is an achievment. Natural beauty is also worth a comment, but is not the result of effort.


Professional-Teabag

If you like how a girl looks, just tell her that. If she's wearing make-up, appreciate the effort she put in to look good next to you. if she's not wearing any, then you can mention the natural beauty. If you as a guy bought a nice, well-tailored suit, you match shoes, tie and what not, you don't really care for a "you look better in sweatpants"


eagleathlete40

As a guy, people fail to realize that makeup’s just another way to express yourself, __just__ like clothes. Source: Every woman I’ve ever talked to, ever.


whatsamawhatsit

Generally it is better to compliment someone on the things they have control over. You are beautiful Vs I love your style. You make impossible combinations work.


aosjcbhdhathrowaway

Sounds like a Backhanded compliment. It's shitty, you're not only telling her that she looks ugly in that moment, but you're insulting her skill, saying how all the effort, time and money spent was for nothing, and destroying her confidence. (And most of the time this is said unprompted. ) And even then, there's far better ways to word this ("you look pretty regardless", "you're already beautiful" etc..) if you wanna compliment someone. if someone told me this I'd think they mean: "you're ugly and it's stupid of you to have wasted your time on this, but i don't wanna risk you calling me out on my insult(s) so I'll add a compliment" And if it's someone that asked you for your opinion there's still more tactful ways to say it.


Versal-Hyphae

My sister was a makeup artist for a while so my view on it is skewed by it being her literal job, but once I asked her about this sort of thing and she said it was like walking up to an artist showing their work and saying “the canvas looked better before you painted it”. I didn’t get how it could be an insult until she explained it that way, but now I kinda understand. It’s a skill they put time and effort and money into and saying “actually it makes you look worse” is not going to go over well lol


stupidgnomes

It’s 100% an insult. When a man chooses to say this to a woman, unless prompted, they’re assuming a couple things: 1. That women wear makeup for men in an attempt to look more beautiful for men, and 2. That they are unattractive with makeup on. My suggestion is this, if someone doesn’t directly ask for your opinion on something especially when it concerns their appearance, stay in your lane and keep your opinion to yourself.


svenson_26

It's an insult for a few reasons: 1. Makeup is something you put effort into to try to look good. You're "compliment" is implying that either you think her makeup skills are shit, or you don't understand makeup. 2. It's not always about looking good for *you*. If she likes how she looks in makeup, then she doesn't need your opinion. Especially if you don't know the first thing about makeup. 3. There's no makeup and there's "no makeup". She might be wearing a little bit of subtle makeup when you say she looks better with no makeup. A better thing would be to just say "You look beautiful". Don't even comment on her makeup or lack thereof. If she says "Ya right. I'm not even wearing makeup." then you say "Wow really? Damn, I like your natural look. You have great features." Or something along those lines. Don't say she looks better. Don't compare it to her makeup look. Just say she looks good.


moonbeamsylph

Saying that to a woman comes across as negging. Some women wouldn't mind it, but I find it annoying because no one asked.


theBlowJobKing

Also half the time when guys say this they’re talking about a time when they saw her with minimal makeup. My guess is that the average male redditor has 0 understanding of how makeup works.


MystiqueMisha

As someone who doesn't even wear makeup, let's just say it's an unsolicited comment. Wearing or not wearing makeup is a choice. If someone told me I looked better with makeup, even if they were trying to be helpful and recommend some beginners makeup products, I'd consider them overstepping their boundaries and poking their nose into what is not their business. (Assuming I'm not a model where my employer's job is to police my makeup). Similarly if someone enjoys wearing makeup, it's no one's business to tell her that she looks better without it. Suppose you love wearing red, and someone tells you you look better in blue, presumable a colour you dislike a lot more than red. You'd think it was none of that person's business.


leonidganzha

"Damn girl your makeup skills are kinda lacking"


OhioMegi

Don’t make comments about appearances, and it won’t be a question. Unless this is your girlfriend or something, don’t say anything.


let_me_know_22

Oh no, especially if she is your girlfriend, don't say that! Avoid: you would look better if... Compliments and your relationship and life will be much easier


youridv1

Prefacing this with: I am a guy, but I have made this same mistake when I was very young and I would for others to learn from my experiences It’s pretty much universally rude. You’re either saying she did a bad job applying her makeup or you’re disregarding the value of the effort it took to apply it. If it’s an insult I’m not really sure, but it’s certainly not a compliment or nice. In 99% of the cases where you are not in a relationship with this woman, you have never seen this woman without makeup and you just think you did because one day she looked like she wasn’t wearing anything because that’s the look she was going for. Most woman also do not ask for a man’s opinion on her make up. So it’s usually also a case of nobody asked. But men like to feel like all the beauty and hygiene stuff women do is for men, which couldn’t be further from the truth in most cases. Women are just more inclined to be interested in that kind of stuff. They care about it for themselves, not for your opinion. Also, it doesn’t fucking matter what the general consensus is. Either on reddit or in general. If the woman you said it to doesn’t think it’s a compliment, then that’s not a good thing for you as the guy in this conversation. Safest bet is just to never say that sentence ever, as it’s a backhanded compliment *at best*


Specialist-Arm-4869

Depends on if she wanted your opinion in the first place.


karinasuperkul

That’s the thing, it’s neither a compliment or an insult. It’s an opinion. Did she ask for your opinion? No? Then keep that shit to yourself.


[deleted]

Even if she asked “Do you like my makeup?” and you said “You look better without makeup” that’s just saying your makeup is trash. Instead of you actually want to help don’t say the makeup is bad or whatever actually try and give constructive criticism while also complimenting it as well


Helea_Grace

Depends how and when you say it. When she’s tired & sick of having to put makeup on for her job that requires ‘professional makeup’? Then I’d see it as a complement - she’s forced to wear makeup here & is sick of it To a random woman on a bus applying makeup in public? Then it’s seen as you assuming she’s wearing it for the men around her, rather than because she likes it. In general saying this to women you’re not familiar with will be more likely to be taken as an insult for this reason


sherbsnut

tell me youre a man without telling me ur a man: edit: actually you did tell me im an idiot LMAOO


M3tal_Shadowhunter

It's not a compliment. "You look better if x" implies you expect her to alter her actions based on what you think about her appearance. Unless she asks, don't say it.


SenatorFatStacks

For all the young men out there, do not say this expecting any appreciation. Instead, say "You look most beautiful when you wear and present yourself in the way that you feel most comfortable and confident." Some woman love makeup, and they work really hard on it. So telling them they look better without it is like telling a guy with a really well manicured and trimmed beard that he looks better clean shaven (which I have heard, as well as the inverse). Don't give people conditional compliments, don't say they are more or less beautiful *if* a factor is a play. Tell people what you always like about them, and keep the rest to yourself.


Gawlf85

Meh. I would have worded it differently, anyway. For starters, I have an issue with opinions stated as facts. And secondly, it sounds pretty dismissive towards her attempts to improve her looks. I don't think it's an insult, but it's bad as a compliment...


DefinitelynotDanger

People mistake makeup as something people use to hide behind when in reality it's an accessory. Telling someone they look better without an accessory is just unnecessary. Maybe they like wearing make up. My wife does some amazing make up looks. Does she look beautiful without makeup? Yes, absolutely. Does she look beautiful with make up? Also Yes, 100%. It's not the nice guy complement you think it is.


Han77Shot1st

It’s a backhanded compliment.. so both.


TennisOnWii

i just think its unnecessary


___HeyGFY___

If you’re gonna say something like that, it’s much better to say it while she’s *not* wearing makeup


Quiznog

Just tell her she's beautiful. Sidestep the need for interpretation. If you really must bring the makeup into it, say that she doesn't need makeup to be beautiful. But you're better off just complimenting her without a qualifier. EDIT: if she has makeup on at that moment, DEFINITELY don't tell her she'd look better without it. You'd be talking down something that she chose to do and put time and effort into.


Mjaartuhn

So basically you say: "Your time and effort to express femininity and beauty is to no avail. It is utterly useless by your sheer natural beauty" Its a quantum insult and compliment. It is both, and it is neither


LordOfSpamAlot

Even if you don't mean it that way, it definitely comes across as a backhanded compliment. I'm glad a lot of people in this comments section get that though. It's actually kind of uplifting. Just saying "you look amazing" has none of the backhandedness and is a win-win.


QuirkyFlounder4777

i wouldn’t say it’s an insult but it’s def not a compliment. it’s just… a weird thing to say. it’s like saying “i think you’re pretty now but if you put on makeup i’ll think you’re ugly”. like why can’t you just say someone beautiful without making a comment on their choices? just say “i think you look very pretty”


hmidontknowww

I thought everyone agreed ages ago that this was a shit thing to say?? Pretty sure it's been well established by women that you just shouldn't say that, whether they think it's a compliment or not, it's unnecessary.


tidder_ih

Most of the time it’d come off as an insult. I think there are times it could come off as a compliment with your SO, if they ask and you’re being genuine.


Linaii_Saye

This feels like something that happened to you irl and you're trying to use Internet points to win an argument, so let me give you some free advice: You don't always have to give your advice to someone. Like in this situation, you didn't ask for it and I'm giving it anyways. This can be pretty annoying, especially to women. You may have considered your statement to be a compliment, but the other person may have interpreted it as unasked for advice, or even straight up criticism. On top of that, a compliment doesn't work this way. Let's say you wanted to compliment someone on looking better without make up. You could do this by saying "you look really good!" at a time when they're not wearing make up. With your statement you drew attention to the distinction, which makes it easy to interpret it as a criticism and you telling her how to fix it (unasked for advice), which isn't going to go down well with a lot of modern women since they've emancipated and it's now socially acceptable for women to think on their own without your input. I think that's a good thing, but it also means we have to change the way we treat women. So yeah, I'd consider this an insult, at best advice and never a compliment, if it's said in the way you wrote it down here. Have a nice day and I really hope you didn't turn your irl situation into a bigger fight by leveraging the poll results.


MsSeraphim

the bigger question should be why anyone would feel it necessary to comment another person's looks....


DeeBeeKay27

Female here: As a general rule, don't start sentences with "You look better with/without \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_." That kind of thing can get into a woman's head, and do we really need yet another voice in there?


unknownanon54

It's annoying as a woman.


pickaverse

It sounds like why do you have the need to comment on what others do?


Lil_Lil_Lee

I voted insult because I think if it would even occur to someone to pay a woman this “compliment” it’s probably because she’s dog shit at doing her make up lol.


Shinynales

As a woman, I wouldn’t call it an insult or compliment- more like an unwelcome comment


eimikoo

wouldn't say it's an insult, but just annoying. it's not 1930s, people should know that most of the people don't do make up to be prettier. i, and everyone i know, we do make up because we like make up.


[deleted]

Both. You are complementing her looks while insulting her make-up skills


Catseyes77

It depends on if she asked for your opinion or you just thought it would be grand to go up to a women and explain to her how her appearance does not suit your preferences and gets in the way of you objectifying and sexualising her like she is an object that just exists for your male gaze.


JoonieWasTaken

I think it depends on context really, my boyfriend saying it to me as we wake up together is a compliment but if my boss said it to me at work I’d probably feel alittle insulted?


whatever_person

It is putting down her makeup skills and believing that your opinion on the subject matters. It is not insult. It is annoying af and makes impression of you worse.


lavalungz

you are telling her that she looks better when she doesnt do the thing she could consider to be her artistic talent


Drawde_O64

It depends on the context and who you’re talking to imo. A stranger/colleague/friend would be insulting no matter what. With a partner it could be a compliment depending on context and time and place.


SunnyKofaxx

Insult because it’s not your place to tell me if I look better with or without it in the first place. It also makes me feel like you think my makeup is garbage and I wasted my time doing it. Besides we don’t do makeup for other people! We do makeup because we like to do our makeup and it makes us happy lol


Coneyislbebe

Why are you commenting on her appearance at all?


fizzycartman

well, you gotta consider the fact that women spend a lot of time putting on makeup, so, this can be intended as an insult and as a compliment. you can mean telling her that she’s naturally beautiful, but it can also mean you’re saying that she’s bad at doing makeup. y’all do you, i wouldn’t advise saying this


LaceAndLavatera

It's an insult, especially if she's wearing makeup at the time. It's a (not so) sneaky way of saying you don't like the way she's done her makeup. I was a goth teen, and I remember a bit saying this to me when he saw me outside school. I pointed out that he saw me every day without makeup and had never complimented me for how I looked then, but the second he saw me in makeup that wasn't to his liking suddenly he felt the need to tell me I was normally pretty?! He didn't think I was pretty, he just didn't like the OTT look, and that's fine, I wasn't doing it for his benefit. Unsurprisingly most of the time I've heard men say that line it's when women have more stylised makeup.


GatorTickler

“Hey you don’t have do all that work to look uglier”


Valentcat2

As a woman, it isn’t an insult, but it’s irrelevant. “You look better without makeup.” Okay, so you’d rather I not wear it, but I enjoy wearing it and think it’s fun/personally feel that I look better with it. I’d maybe try a compliment that actually says something positive. “You have such naturally long eyelashes/beautiful eyes/clear skin/full lips.” Vs. “you look better without X.”


CluelessMochi

Adding onto everyone else saying it’s an insult, many men would be surprised to learn that those “no makeup” looks actually include some filled in brows, mascara, or concealer as well. So even if someone genuinely thinks someone looks better “all natural,” that might not even be a “natural” look they’re referring to.


flojo2012

I think having another choice to say, “it’s none of my fucking business” is the right answer.


BibblesUwU

As a girl I think it’s an insult because of all the effort she puts into wearing makeup For me(who doesn’t wear makeup) I would have think it’s a compliment So unsure 🫤


katieleehaw

I would suggest not commenting on this at all.


EmbarrassedGarage613

If you feel she looks better without make up, might be wiser to just say, "I like your natural beauty" ( I am a woman)


humanlearning

It's not exactly a compliment nor an insult. A comment about someone that implies another version of her is not that great, won't ever be fully taken as a compliment. For instance, I now have short hair. If someone tells me "You look better with short hair", I'm going to feel self-conscious about having longer hair now. If you like them both (even if you prefer one over the other), just tell the girl looks good on both. And if you say "I prefer X", it can imply you have some right over deciding what she should do with her looks. That's how our mind works lol


jmanfire2105

It’s a backhanded compliment. Yeah, she might look better without makeup, but that also means you’re kinda saying they did a shitty job with their makeup.


Snosnorter

I'm a dude and how dim do you have to be to not see that as an insult.


heartzfromisla

i hope men aren’t commenting on thjs


ViC_tOr42

The word better sounds weird and creepy, instead say she looks beautiful naturally


[deleted]

My bf always says this with good intentions. But I always feel a little insulted LOL. Ik he don’t mean to but if you say it while im putting on makeup im gonna be slightly offended. XD


Calliefur

Insult, you’re diminishing the hard work they put into putting their makeup on. It doesn’t matter how YOU think they look, they thought they’d look good with makeup and you shot them down


ClaudeIsBestHusbando

If someone asks you about it? Sure whatever But don't say that to a women at random, some of us spend a lot of time to look good and have nice make-up so the comment kinda disregards our efforts


Zachisawinner

Did she ask?


wow-creamy

As a woman, it gives the notion of the same thing a woman might say to a man, "You look better without your beard" If you've grown that beard for a long time and are attached to it, this may be an insult to you, not only that you don't look good as the now, but also the time you spent on your beard is irrelevant since they prefer you the otherway


TheCheck77

I’d rather be complimented for my taste and skill in makeup than the face I have no control over


diabeetus64

Meant to be a compliment, ultimately comes off as an insult.


RainbowGames

i'd say it's neither, it's just an unnecessary comment. If you want to compliment her, just tell she looks great.


GamerPaper470

Yesnt


eicaker

Don’t ask men this question. Ask women.


ickylickysticky

It always annoys me when my boyfriend says this because I love doing makeup and find myself more beautiful with makeup. What he thinks is irrelevant to me.


Moutles

It just sounds like she doesn't know how to makeup


CheesyChapps

It’s insulting because, for one, you’re discrediting all the effort she put into that makeup, as well as giving your opinion that she probably doesn’t want to hear.


FMIMP

It’s just not really a compliment. It’s basically telling her : hey when you make effort for your appearance you look worse. Which can be pretty hurtful if makeup make you fell confident or is a way for you to express yourself


simplywebby

Idk if a women puts the effort in to wear make up for our date, and I told her she’s looks better without kinda Dickish


Tuckertcs

“You look better without makeup” basically translates to “you’ve put too much frosting on the cake”.


lllrk

Woman here. In theory it's a compliment. Most women are annoyed at it though because they don't like other people telling them what makes them look good and not


freshprinceohogwarts

Makeup is an art form. Just because you prefer the canvas to the finished product doesn't mean that you should say "you shouldn't have done that art" that's rude. Either enjoy the art or don't enjoy it, but you shouldn't tell the artist that they shouldn't even try.


source_crowd67

It is clearly intended as a compliment but it’s an insult. Here’s why. A woman probably wears makeup to look better or fancier. When you tell her she doesn’t look better or fancier despite her efforts, it’s insulting. Or maybe you don’t like the style of makeup— but it’s still a style she obviously likes. Just don’t tell anyone “you look better when”, unless you are sure what you are saying. Better yet, say “I love when you “*do thing”*” and don’t mention better or worse. Or say, “you are beautiful even without makeup.” The differences may seem subtle but you should try to think how someone will respond to your words rather than just hoping your intent gets through.


anonmonom

It’s neither. It’s just a weird thing to say that usually only creeps say nowadays. Find a better compliment.


LavishnessFew7882

it's not a compliment or and insult, it's a statement about your preferences that basically no one asked for.


Economist-Informal

Don't give your opinion if you haven't been asked. Don't insinuate that I shouldn't wear makeup when it's none of your business.


Clementinecutie13

Why would you say anything at all?


LazyStateWorker3

It’s just a weird statement. It’s like saying “summer is prettier than winter” instead of “summer Is gorgeous” maybe you think that, maybe you have examples, but comparing a woman to another version of herself will only really go well if she also values the same version as you do. She might like herself more with makeup, who knows. Why draw a line through her life and tell her you prefer one side over the other unnecessarily. When people wear a color that suits them, do you say, you look better in blue than in red, or green or any other color? No, you say, blue highlights or brings out your eyes or whatever you like about it… that way, you don’t shit on their other clothing choices, if they wear red later, it’s not already referenced in a comment as something less-than the blue. Comparative language raises one thing above another, it’s not a compliment or insult but can be obviously be seen as both. It’s kind of thoughtless when the easy solution is just to leave out half of the statement.


JW162000

Insult. Or more like… a generally unwelcome and weird comment


punkonater

Just tell a girl she's beautiful. No need to add qualifiers.


PM_ME_UR_RC_CAR

Ok imagine spending an hour doing your makeup, being really proud of it, and then being told this.


Incredulo_Freeman

You are basically calling a version of her ugly. Its an insult AND a compliment. This poll needs an extra option.


VersatileFaerie

Complete insult and would say it is a backhanded compliment. Even with the best intentions, while you are saying they look good, you are also saying they are too dumb to notice they look worse with makeup and that they are too dumb or unskilled to be able to make themselves look better with makeup. Many people wear makeup to "enhance" their looks, so saying that instead, they look worse, is insulting in many ways. Some people see saying "you look better without makeup" as them saying "you look so good that you don't need makeup" but they are not the same thing.


Number1Barooista

Depends how it's phrased


Plant_in_pants

Makeup is essentially self expression, it's artwork that people put on themselves because they like it and it makes them feel good. People put a lot of effort into it and saying they shouldn't have bothered could be hurtful. Using a different example: imagine you just got a new tattoo, you think it looks great and it's of something that is meaningful to you and that you enjoy, you feel like it really represents you. Then some guy come up to you and without you asking his opinion says "I think your arm looked better without tattoos" I'm sure you would be pretty annoyed or sad about that statement.


imeffingconfused

It’s just rude. Like, I don’t care what you think, I feel good wearing makeup and I wear it for myself not for men to judge.


_satantha_

It would’ve sounded better if you said “You still look beautiful/good without makeup” rather then that she “looks better”.


MerryMortician

Just don’t. It could go either way and it’s a trap.


l0ve11ie

How about don’t comment on womens looks at all


puma721

Like, im a guy, I get why this would sound like a compliment. But this is just something that I don't fuck with. There's 1000 better ways to compliment someone. What's wrong with "you look really cute today" I learned the hard way, even if you mean it as a nice thing, just find a different way to say it.


PettyCrocker_

The real question is, did she ask you?


Retropiaf

Either way, it's an unnecessary comment unless she asked for an opinion on the matter.


arachnosocialism

It's not a compliment, but also not an insult. It's just rude.


Armpitjair

Definitely context driven