T O P
Games_sans_frontiers

Is your wife Zorro?


kitsumodels

Shazam maybe


Exsces95

**El** Zorro.


otacon1988

La Zorra? :D


[deleted]

lol, that's not nice!


DannyAye

This was a Masked Burn! Well done


ByahTyler

Thought you meant Roronoa and was confused


wafflesandpancakess

She definitely doesn't have your back


nachiketajoshi

Especially when he lost his shirt.


Evil_This

Right? This is how you 'help' someone you dislike.


thegreatJLP

Least she could've done is shave it


Brass_Ensemble

The "happy trail" is on the wrong side. Does that make it a happy tail? I'll show myself out


LordAwesomest

The hair on his back is in the same place a tramp stamp would be on a girl. What would that be called? Stud Fuzz?


EstebanWeird

Lawyer up and divorce her


Prying-Open-My-3rd-I

Thought I was in r/relationships for a minute


MrDude_1

We did it Reddit.


entourageffect

Your wife put sunscreen on your back like you're in the friend zone with her.


Spenundrum

Your wife can absolutely still friendzone you.


StrikeRealistic5459

That patch of hair tho.


Pilgarlik

We need to make up a word for lower back pubes


_antrix_

plumber's beard


foodiefuk

This one wins


Material-Explorer519

Dude looks like he's about to grow a tail


Mitchismellon

I mean he is "Saucy_Lemur"


beatenmeat

Any moment now he will reawaken his saiyan powers!


Tolookah

I was going to say something silly like Australian landing strip, but plumbers beard beats anything I could come up with


lowonbits

tramp stache


TyberiusJoaquin

I'm here for plumbers beard


SurlyDave

In Australia, it's a called a welcome mat.


Saucy_Lemur

Lol, I love it. I'm using this. I can see my wife rolling her eyes and turning away to hide a smile already.


BoneHugsHominy

My ex-girlfriend called mine a Chimp Stamp. We were Chimp and Tramp.


[deleted]

Think this is the one


gogo-fo-sho

The Goatse Goatee


amberkaelin

That’s a crack patch


oracl358

crack patch!


wetsauce

bubes... no wait


JuyZuy

your tactics confuse and frighten me sir


SharkTonic9

Show bubes and vagene?


JuyZuy

i feel threatened


Amberatlast

Backbush?


CK067

Assfro


Spock_Rocket

Trail of tears. The happy trail is on the front.


Princes_Slayer

Welcome Mat


nitzschia

I have heard women refer to it as “the gorilla patch”


android24601

I'm pretty sure she was distracted by the soul patch on your lower back😜


Inexorably_lost

You mean his Lumbardore?


savethewombats

lumbeard?


Fender6187

Back bush. The front porch to back pussy.


SunnyAlwaysDaze

https://www.thegayuk.com/bussy-meaning-offensive-gay-community/ A lot of the gay dude bottom types are calling it "bussy" nowadays!


Wrath7heFurious

Yea I was just here for the comments about that. Like did he have a tail at some point. Are you a Saiyan?


MrPajamaSam

Maybe that's why she did what she did.


[deleted]

his crappy trail


[deleted]

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yourlocal90skid

The remnants of a vestigial tail maybe?


metamorphine

She can even enemyzone you.


droveby

Uh, guys, you need to leave your wives


simsimulation

Instructions unclear. I’ve now lost my wife and can’t remember where I left her


Self_Reddicating

Are you an Ent, by any chance?


WorseDark

"Hey, hun? Are we friends?" "Yes, why?" "Oh nothing. I'm gonna head to the store for some smokes, you need anything?"


Fritzy

The most stressful and best decision of my life.


I_ATE_TODAY

My ex wife divorcing me was the best decision she ever made to improve my life.


[deleted]

At least she was looking out for you at some point.


ReggaePanda7

Not even that, friends actually protect each other


ThatTraumatisedBoy69

Yeah but angsty ones don't


blong44

My wife always says "so did you like marry me as a friend or...."


triplefastaction

He was in the friendzone before the sunscreen. If his wife loved him that absurd patch of hair would have been shaved.


cra2reddit

Was hoping someone would note that he has a happy trail aiming at his butt crack.


iroll20s

His bussy.


Enjoying_A_Meal

The back pubes?


onepinksheep

Oh, thank god. I didn't want to be the one to say it.


it-never-ends-ever

Jazz cup tan very 90s.


Epic_Elite

My thoughts!


it-never-ends-ever

I used get annoyed when that happened to me like “sob stole my line!” Now I love it when stranger thinks like I do it’s comforting.


psychpostie

At least she didn't draw a cock and balls


born_again_tim

Sack hair already there


Bahunter22

Huge missed opportunity.


prsply3n

My man’s growing a tail


MonstaGraphics

Sack hair? This guy is rocking vagina bush on his back.


arielanything

After seeing this picture, she might in the future lmao.


boozie92

I did this to my brother back when we were both in High School. I just sprayed his back not paying attention while we were clearing the yard over the weekend. Fast forward a day or so to Football practice, he takes his shirt off in the heat. Coach called him over and told him he had a Sunburn that looked like a dick on his back. I had the hardest time trying to sincerely admit it was an accident because I was laughing too hard.


joshypoo

This happened to me recently (not my wife, she's in oncology and lays it on my Irish ass like spackle). But I was burned so bad I seriously considered putting a mini paint roller in my beach bag so I can just do it myself in the future.


slicklady

I've seen a photo of a woman at the beach doing just that. The roller looked like it would work quite well.


earthdweller11

At home If no one’s around to do it I use the back of a huge cooking spoon (that I only use for that) to put sunscreen (or just lotion) on my back. Works surprisingly well once you get used to it!


rawwrrob

Most people just rub a little sunblock on and call it good for the day. You actually need to reapply it every 1-2 hours normally and immediately after swimming to get full protection. Last time I was Disney World, I made sure to reapply sunblock regularly and never burned after spending 10-12 hours a day in summer sunlight for a week. And I'm pale AF too.


MotherFuckingCupcake

As another pale AF person whose mom’s entire generation of our family has gotten skin cancer(5 people), I apply it EXTREMELY liberally any time I’ll be in sunlight for more than 10 minutes.


the_sky_is_on_fire

Wise words! This is truth. I went to the beach a few years ago and didn't swim and thought one application was enough. That got me the worst burn I've had in my life, the crying while applying lotion/unable to wear clothes kind. Will never forget.


ToBadImNotClever

I had one like this is a kid. Back boiled up. The burns went deep. My sister playfully jumped on my back without thinking and ripped tons of skin off. I passed out from the pain. Couldn’t go to school for two weeks because I couldn’t wear a shirt. The first week back was miserable.


JetpackYoshi

As a guy who also has that lower back hair and never thought anything of it, reading these comments has made me go "Well cool, that's a new thing for me to be insecure about". Edit: Haha y'all are very sweet and supportive. I already trim this area (and well... everything for that matter. I've been blessed with all the *wrong* hair genes) but I had no idea that it wasn't a normal thing.


rjcarr

I have hair coverage over like 95% of my body, but for some reason my lower back hair is just "normal" and not thick. It's like the only thing I *don't* feel insecure about. :)


Matt_Sterbate710

Thanks for the smiley face at the end. It really helps out. :(


Saucy_Lemur

Right. I used to be insecure about it until I met my wife. She told me she thought it was cute. Probably a white lie to stop me from being insecure about it, but it worked.


ForRolls

Despite the fact that her sunscreen applications skills are wanting, sounds like you have a good wife.


SmuttyBookLover

Try not to worry too much. Many of us don't care in the slightest. My man has it and it's no big deal. If you want you could have someone shave it but it's really not necessary.


violent_crayon

"have someone shave it" Just not this dudes wife.


Zharick_

Gives you something to hang onto while you're pegging him, it's a win-win.


EskimowGamer

Yeah, I was born with Spina bifida (causes the same hair growth as OP and is probably what he has) and this thread has been a wonderful throwback to being bullied in school. People are assholes.


woah_man22

I was also born with it brotha, I had surgery to close the hole and I have a massive scar that kids thought was my ass crack for my entire childhood. People are indeed assholes but fuck em. At least we can both walk


cozyboijoao

*paraplegics* “well I guess fuck me then”


lokishhhake

Are we going to ignore the upcoming tail?


No_big_whoop

Faun tail is an abnormal lumbar hypertrichosis (excessive hair growth) represented by tufts of coarse terminal hair, several inches long usually manifesting as a lozenge or triangular patch in the lumbosacral area and may overlie an occult spinal abnormality


Caishen_IC3

Can we just call it backside landing strip? Edit: damn I wish there was a way to vote on this


MachReverb

Back pussy


itsyourmomcalling

A bussy, you might say.


toinoudubois

Bussy is already taken


HouseOfAplesaus

Maybe bussy is a multitasker.


toinoudubois

We all have a back pussy


merelycheerful

Its pronounced "De bussy"


spiritualized

Hair de lune


TheManRedeemed

My vote goes to "Crerkin", which is what my wife calls mine. It's short for "Crack Merkin" and and best of all it rhymes with "twerkin" *and* kinda sound like "Kraken" so you can go a couple of different ways with it depending on how you feeling when the old Gluteous Clapsimus has been let out Buttanamo Bay


H3ALTHinSPECTOR

Back Muff Buff


LastSaneSoul

Ass-stache *


Throwawayunknown55

Tramp toupee?


CaptainBlandname

Dude has a bikini area on his back.


Key_Swordfish_4662

Tradesmen’s welcome mat


No_big_whoop

It's the Crappy Trail


cinderubella

> occult spinal abnormality What, like your lower back burns awful scented candles, draws pentagrams and summons succubi whilst you're asleep?


Epic_Elite

Those are all normal occult spinal occurances. His is a case if abnormalities


BillW87

The word "occult" in a medical context means "hidden", usually as in it isn't manifesting any clinical symptoms.


frustratedpolarbear

Weird because anyone dabbling in the occult is usually absolutely doing their best to manifest something.


BillW87

Yeah, I'm not a linguist but my best guess would be that they're both starting from the common thread of something being "unseen" or "mysterious" and then taking it in different directions (supernatural vs hidden)


willisbar

Is that bad? I thought it was a little weird, but just kinda let it happen so they didn’t get mad and hurt me again.


choatec

Ya can be a sign of spina bifida occulta. Also might just be a hairy dude.


HouseOfAplesaus

Are ya’ll fucking kidding me right now. Is this like how that reporter lady had her thyroid cancer spotted by a viewer that was a Dr.?


PolkadotPiranha

No. This is just lowe back hair. It doesn't look anything like faun tail.


Devi1_May_Cry

"Faun tail"? If they wanted people to take it seriously, they shouldn't call one of the symptoms something the denizens of Narnia would bitch about, like "Centaur hoof."


pcapdata

Pretty sure Centaur Hoof is when the foreskin grows keratin


[deleted]

#NO.


lalala253

Em I'm sorry w h a t If this is an actual condition (that I'm not gonna look up), you'd need to periodically trim the keratine. Nice nice.


Saucy_Lemur

wow, interesting!


Nivius

comes to reddit for yesman about wifes poor sunblock help. get proper medical help that is good to know for future reference


[deleted]

[удалено]


ballrus_walsack

Came for the snark. Left with some backside medical knowledge.


[deleted]

my neck, my back, lick my pussy and my occult spina bifida.


funktheduck

I click on a random reddit post and I find out I might have spinda bifida


Atta_gal

Hey I have this and looked it up.. I do also have the birthmark spot there. If I've never had any problems do I still need to look into it?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Atta_gal

Ahh I see thanks for the insight! Appreciate it


bostonchef72296

So now I’m super self conscious about my hairy lower back because I have all of the symptoms you mention and am trying to get my orthopedist to do a spine MRI because they didn’t see anything terribly worrying on the X-ray… am I gonna be ok


RambisRevenge

Well fuck. I've had my fur patch since I was a teenager and now I'm horrified that I have this shit. Thanks for making me paranoid! Also...I have back problems... Looks like I'm going back to the doctor... Fuck...


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Occult? A witch gave him back bush?


[deleted]

[удалено]


kaleisnotokale

you and me both lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


BolognaTime

If they thought "weird hair growing in random spots on my body" was just a puberty thing, they're about to be sorely mistaken. It's a terminal condition, and the spots just keep getting *weirder*.


RustyBoon

Its a lumbar goatee


[deleted]

It’s a back soul patch


MarkWalburg

The unhappy trail, if you will.


Acey_pilot

That lower back hair indicates you were nearly a "spina bifida" baby, meaning that you could have been born with your lower spine protruding. During late term pregnancy, the fetus can correct by moving scalp skin cells down to cover it. Bodies are pretty cool! My ex-wife had it too.


Orodia

He could still have spina bifida. Its called spina bifida occulta where there is only a gap in the vertebrae not an opening in the skin or exposed spinal column. Its an easy to miss diagnosis.


whycats

My boyfriend was born with this. No one knew he had Spina Bifida until he was like 6 and could walk around in the snow without boots and not feel the cold. He spent most of first grade in the hospital after multiple spinal surgeries.


No-Anybody774

Would a doctor catch this during a routine physical while their checking for moles etc?


telcoman

Unlikely. the Oculta does not cause any troubles and will be found if an x Ray is done for another reason. Then the doctor will just shrug and ignore it.


One_Eyed_Sneasel

Pretty much what a chiropractor told me. Although he said it may cause me to be more vulnerable to something like a pinched nerve in my back.


mystyz

Pausing to consider whether my Dr has ever checked me for moles...


robdiqulous

You just ask a dermatologist for a full body check


Bob_Sconce

What's the disease where your entire pelvis could have been protruding? Because I think I almost had that.


Samson-Nite

Dead 😂


QueerWorf

That's interesting. I learned something new


Team-CCP

I have that! I’ve always called it my gay treasure trail. I’m not gay but it’s nice to know they have a welcum mat if they need it. My normal treasure trail I refer to as the trail of tears since it usually leads to sadness and disappointment vs treasure. Spina bifida. Crazy.


uhmerikin

> welcum mat Well, that caught me off guard.


WarchitectNL

That whole comment did.


goldenlover

That was good. So good in fact I might have to add it to my repertoire of silly names. Edit: damn you guys are creative.


czar_el

>called it my gay treasure trail In my family it's called "weird beard", from a comment my dad got from a friend in his 20's.


ZerynAcay

I feel like this is a normal conversation with yourself in your head. I dig it.


TheZildo

That’s your mangina pubic hair.


CodgerConsulting

Back beaver.


extisis

Gay treasure trail. 3 words I never knew would be combined one day.


AnubisKhan

Congratulations, internet goer. Today I read something on the internet I have never read before. A rare day!


DB6

That lower back hair is backup for when he needs a hair transplantation.


Chiperoni

Lower back hair is not an indication for neural tube defects unless its a localized tuft overlying the midline lower back.


Sean_man_87

Thank you for posting this. The hair in the picture is normal and not an indication of anything. 5 seconds of Google images confirmed this.


tayman12

I'm an expert on lower back hair and I'm pretty sure that hair is from demons


CatBedParadise

Finally, someone’s making some sense around here.


mejelic

Do you have any source on this for adults? This is true for infants, but nothing that I can find says it is true for adults.


Chiperoni

It’s not. Unless its a focal area right over the spine. Usually the hair looks unlike other body hair too.


Acey_pilot

My ex had the condition, her mother is a doctor and she explained it in this way. The hair was long and silky and same color as on her head.


BaaGoesTheSheep

So he is a……butt head?


WingedSalim

And here I thought he put on his pubic hair backwards.


Schwarzebombe1903

Well this certainly explains why there is mostly hair on my lower back. Thanks factman!


howdoyouspace

Looking like a skin cancer pop tart


dina_NP2020

Toaster strudel


Son-Tzu

Spraying alone does not protect, For true protection one must rub and absorb into skin


Rulmeq

Honestly, that's half the fun of applying it! How could she not want to?


schplat

So you're saying it rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again?


_dauntless

Yeah OP and his wife can't follow instructions


JuniorBRM

Everybody shitting on your reverse happy trail but I just wanna say nice lats bro, u lookin wide af


rjcarr

Also, zero love handles, I'm super jealous.


SquatnastyMcPoot

I like that soul patch tramp stamp 👍


j_u_s_t_d

His pubes are on backwards


selfish_king

Dude, your pubes are on backwards


[deleted]

fantastic


snoryder8019

is that low back or high butt hair?


Majestic_Salad_I1

Alllways wipe in spray sunscreen. Never just spray and be done with it. Also, never use spray sunscreen.


bridbrad

My boyfriend left a handprint with long fingers on my back 😡


Devi1_May_Cry

Are you dating Slender Man?


cnordholm

Post this on /r/roastme... oh wait too late


Zeke1415

My man, do me a favor and get an x-ray of that low back. In a lot of cases, hair at that location is a sign indicative of spina bifida and other more intrusive diagnosis like knife clasp and hemi-vertebras. None of these are terribly serious but you would want to know that so you can treat your back accordingly. Source: I like bones a lot


Saucy_Lemur

This was the last of the spray bottle and didn't spray as much or as wide.


BritCearley

Sweet tramp stamp.