By - Christmasinjulythrow
So very sorry for your loss.
Deeply proud of you for putting him first. I too love Christmas and would ask this of my kids.
God damnit i am SO FUCKING GLAD he made it to Christmas. OP, you are amazing. I am absolutely tickled pink that you did that for him. Seriously, your grandpa did a wonderful job raising you. What you gave him… just..‘ugh. I love it.
>God damnit i am SO FUCKING GLAD he made it to Christmas.
Yes!!!! I am EXSTATIC grandpa made it to Christmas! Huzzah!
You are an incredible person and please make sure to take care of yourself. This is going to suck and it’s going to be really hard but you need to take care of you and keep doing what’s best for you. You’ll find happiness and the right people if you keep taking care of yourself the way your grandfather would want you to live.
>I told her about my grandfather and but she hasn't replied yet
Whatever you do, do NOT go chasing after this heartless psychopath. Consider her a bullet dodged. Leave her behind and move on. The rest of your life will be better without her in it.
I am so sorry for your loss.
The only good thing I can say about your ex is at least the trash has the decency to take itself out.
What you did was wonderful. I was raised by my granny too, so I get it. I know is sad to lose a relationship, but your decision helped you weed out someone that wasn’t meant for you. Christmas and 🎅🏻 ARE about magic, fantasy and family, you literally kept the spirit of the holiday alive for someone that you deeply loved and who deserved your love. My husband wouldn’t be my husband if he didn’t understand that. My best wishes go to you.
I’ve never cried from a Reddit post before but this one did it. OP you are a great guy and that girl doesn’t deserve you. Carry on and be happy.
I'm happy to read you were able to make your grandpa's last few days happy and easy. Your ex lost out on someone that sounds overly loving and caring that cherishes their loved ones
Please don't be afraid to reach out to people when you need support or join a local support group. I only say this because it's been 8 years since i lost my grandpa and it's still difficult to quell the urge to drive up to his place for a visit
As a psa, many town and communities have some sort of non- profit that provides free emotional support for grief. Our local hospice gives very cheap grief counseling and another group gives free individual or group support specific to child loss (what we are dealing with). The point is, there are resources out there that many people may not know about.
I am very sorry for your loss. You did the right thing to make him happy, and you are a good person.
Don't be afraid to cry. You never really get over some griefs; you just get used to them. So be gentle with yourself too, as you would have been for your grandfather.
Sending hugs and lots of love to you. You're a good person and a wonderful grandkid. I'm sure you made him proud. Take care, OP 💗
You are the most wonderful person we all love you
Yes! Someday, you will tell this story to a woman and she will realize what an absolutely massive catch you are.
Thank you for putting your story out there. I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad. I hope you get all the love and support you deserve and more very soon.
Grampa also inadvertently gave you the gift of starting the process of the person who deserves that wedding ring, because your last girlfriend was never going to be worthy of your big heart.
So happy you decided to do this for him and yourself.
What happened with the (ex)GF in the days following her packing up and leaving?
She actually sounds very selfish. Even if she didn’t like you nurturing your grandfather and making his last days happy she should, at the very very least say sorry that you lost him. Honestly don’t continue on with her just because you are a caring person who puts others first. I believe you can do so much better.
Btw here in Australia Christmas in July is an extremely popular thing! As our Christmas is usually hot we very regularly have parties and restaurants that participate and have made it a thing so we can experience the cold Christmas too
Not only selfish. What kind of boring, stuck up person would have an issue with a once off Christmas in July anyway?! Sounds like a great time.
Christmas in July RULES! At least in North America. For decades my cousins and I celebrated cold December Christmas, and all of us being in our 30s and 40s now, living in different cities, married and with inlaws and all that, it’s difficult to celebrate all together at any specific time so two years ago we started the Christmas in July Pool Party and it’s just absolutely a blast.
I kind of hate christmas and a lot of how it's celebrated in our culture, but if my partner wanted a tree up year-round even just because it was their jam, it's not the hill I'd die on.
If my partner wanted to have christmas in july for \*\*this specific reason,\*\* I'd get the fuck behind it. It's not about the holiday, it's about empathy.
Honestly, my first reaction to this line:
> She kept saying it was a waste of time and that it's weird to want to act like it's Christmas when it's not.
was that she's incredibly immature, so was wondering if they're like 19 years old or something. Then I realised that's disrespectful to all of the mature 19 year olds out there.
I'd like to think it's something she can grow from.
True, your energy is wasted on someone who doesn’t deserve or need it. OP will find someone who will appreciate his kind nature
OP please take a moment and look at how your girlfriend is behaving. You must be feeling alone but that does not mean you should accept such a selfish person as your girlfriend in your life because she's not going to provide you company. She seems very selfish. Please . If she's not replying then good riddance. You're better off without her.
Yes please do not get back with her. She’s shown an alarming level of selfishness and coldness in a time where you were vulnerable and needed support.
What you did was lovely and I hope you will cherish this bittersweet memory for ever.
Do yourself a favour, and find a woman who has the same kind spirit and good heart that you have. She clearly has no empathy and no compassion. Your grandfather gave you his ring; marry someone worthy of that.
I am so sorry, your (ex?) girlfriend lacks emphatie and commen decency.
Losing her was worth getting to spend some wonderful days with your grandfather.
Don't wait for a reply. I know you feel alone with the fresh loss, but she ran for a reason.
She was happy to take your hospitality and support, and to live with you rent free. In reality, she anticipated that youd would need that support in return and started pulling away because shes the kind of person who takes and doesn't know (or doesnt like) how to give.
Lean of friends, cousins, mentors. Dont lean on her because when the going got tough, she chose to scram. She will do that at every tough juncture you both would have crossed.
She’s terrible dude. You on the other hand, you tell that story to any other normal, emotionally intelligent woman, she’s gonna see you as the amazing guy you are.
She sucks. You sound so kind and thoughtful you deserve to be with someone who appreciates your compassion. Your grandfather loved it and that’s what really matter.
She doesn't deserve to be in your life, she treated you horribly. Block her and move on. Find someone who understands Christmas in July.
Hopefully she's your ex gifriend now.
Anyone who could be that horrifically rude and self centered about you just trying to make your grandpa happy is *not* someone you should be spending your life with.
She is not worthy of the kindness you have in your heart.
The fact she is only harping on what she thinks is weird and not understanding what it was really about speaks volumes. Please please do not chase after her
You're girlfriend acts like a child. I'd fully support and go all in if I was her. She had the nerve to call you crazy, but she is acting like a jerk. Instead of trying to be there she acted selfish. Forget her and find someone with a heart.
I’m sorry for your loss. I want to say: your grandfather left you two invaluable gifts before his passing. The first was a gentle prompt allowing you enough time to share a treasured tradition before he had to go, and the second was to reveal your ex as a person unworthy of the grace and kindness of your grandfather’s good spirit which lives on in you. It will be lonely for a while, but please take comfort knowing you gave your grandfather the best send off possible. You have everything you need in yourself right now, and will honor your grandfather by living life as best you can. May your memories give you comfort and strength.
I’m sorry for your loss. I really hope you don’t get back together with her, I know you’re looking for comfort and familiarity in your pain. However the fact that she was unable to show a little bit of mercy and grace for a dying man, * even when it didn't even cost her anything or affect her at all*, says a lot about who she is as a person. And that person is not someone you should be spending your life with.
I read your last post, and can I say on behalf on people like your Ex girlfriend I am so sorry. 😭😭😭 My cousin had terminal cancer and had an inoperable brain tumour. She woke up out of her coma one day and was like "is it Christmas??" Why, yes babygirl yes it is. She went out and bought everyone presents and we all did the same on a whim and we had Christmas in October. She then slipped back into a coma a few weeks later and passed away. If anyone ever had anything to say about it they can eat shit. It's not stupid, it's not dumb. It's something a loving family member does.
Thank you so much for providing us with that update. I am so happy you got to share that last Christmas memory with your grandpa! My grandpa is turning 95 in October and I can only imagine what I would feel if someone tried to prevent me from sharing moments like that with him. You did good.
You made that old man so happy in his last days. You're a good person OP, I'm sorry your ex couldn't show a little empathy for a dying man.
You did the right thing. You made his last days happier and gave him the Christmas he otherwise wouldn't have had.
As for your GF, she has her own problems: that's the way I see it. The emotional reasoning behind your plan was extremely sound and extremely loving. That it caused her to leave means that she has some growing to do, and I hope that she accomplishes it someday.
I just read this and I feel the need to comment. The fact you made a day just like Christmas is not only something you’ll always remember, but something he would never forget as well. As for your now ex, that was very wrong of her. Sometimes you have to put in the effort to make people around you happy. You did a great job!
Much love brother. you're a good man. You did the right thing and got to say goodbye in a wonderful fashion. You made another good man happy at the end of his life. You couldn't have done better.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your original post was too wholesome and seeing grandpa loved it made me happy. Take care of yourself and remember all the good times with grandpa. It’s okay to cry. We love you and we’re here for you
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss! But I have to say , you are the best grandkid ever! You did the right thing! You’re amazing!
So so so very sorry for your loss - so happy you got to experience a final Christmas with him tho - even if it’s “hot” one.
Perhaps a Santa on the beach ornament to add for your tree to remember the warmest Christmas ever is in order.
Cry as much as you need to but remember how incredible and happy you helped him feel. He was so lucky to have a grandchild like you. 💕💕
I knew when I read your post about putting up the Christmas tree (against what your gf wanted) that it was the right thing to do. I'm sorry for your loss of your grandpa. You were both very lucky to have each other.
May his memory be a blessing.
I don’t know the story, but she’s an asshole for doing that.
I’m glad you were able to make him happy. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s ok to cry.
I'm so glad that you got to have that last Christmas with Grandpa and made even more beautiful memories. Grandpas sounds like a wonderful man. It's easy to see how you got to be such a great guy, but difficult to understand how someone so selfless, was saddled with such a selfish cow as your former GF. Grampa gave you two gifts this year, his ring and the knowledge that your ex is a horrible person. I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandfather, but very happy that when you do eventually marry it can be to someone who deserves you.
You are an amazing grandson.
i just heard your story on the Two Hot Takes podcast and it broke my heart. i’m so sorry for your loss, and i hope life goes up from here. <3
Hey, I read your original post and this one. Please keep faith. When your gf said your grandfather is not a child and it's silly to have Christmas when it's not, you can see her level of empathy shine through for people, the elderly, YOUR FAMILY. What you did is the most beautiful thing for your grandfather, and I'm sure there are many many wonderful people out there who would be so excited and love to make this day a special one for your grandfather, she's just not the one.
Maybe there's more to the story we're not seeing, but for someone who can't stand doing something this simple for a dying family member, imagine what she would do if you guys got kids. Not much probably.
you’re the sweetest soul in the world for doing that for your grandfather. i could never understand why anyone would ever be upset about that. <3
I'm really sorry for your loss ..
But keep in mind that because of you, he had a beautiful christmas and seeing him happy with you is a beautiful memory you'll keep with you forever !
Sorry for your loss.
That's unbelievably petty of her. It's good you found that red flag sooner rather than later.
I am sorry for your loss. The memories that you made with your grandfather will never go away. Don't bottle up your feelings. Let them out in a way that is best for you.
OP, Im so glad for you that you followed your heart and not that woman’s grinch attitude. You are going to make a wonderful husband and father some day and you deserve someone that appreciates the magic you bring. Many hugs for you. Im sorry about your grandfather’s passing.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. We're all proud of you. Now take your time to grief and reflect on your beautiful memories with grandpa.
You gave him such a great gift. You both are lucky to have had each other on your lives.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. But I'm so happy you both were able to experience that joy before he passed.
This was all so precious to read, I'm sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m so glad that you were able to make him happy in the last bits of time you had with him. These are memories that will definitely be with you forever.
I'm glad you could make him happy like that before he passed away, that was really sweet. I think you would have really regretted it forever had you not gone through with it. I'm really sorry for your immense loss, he sounds like a great person, just like you.
Im so happy you decided to do that for him. You not only created core memories, but you also made him extremely happy! Im also happy that the toxic girl hopefully isnt in your life anymore, but im sorry for your loss. Just know that you made him so happy with those decorations and hanging out with him!! He loves you and will always be with you. Thanks for the update!
Was there when you first posted, my condolences to you OP. I’m glad you get to cherish the moment with him, I hope you feels no regret as you did an absolute great thing. You put up the Christmas tree middle of the year to make him happy, as if you waited til end of the year he would’ve never get to spend that memorable moment one last time with you. U have the best granddad and u was raised right to be the best grandson he could ever ask for.
This is one of the sweetest things I’ve read in awhile. You’re an amazing and selfless person. I’m so sorry for your loss.
It is a wonderful gift that you gave your Granddad Christmas when he needed it. There are so many people who regret not grabbing an opportunity like that with someone they love before they lose them. Cherish the memories that you have, every Christmas from now on will be special to you because of this. If you feel it's right you can create a new tradition of Christmas in July for you and those you love.
Lots of us in the Southern hemisphere have a midwinter Christmas so you can join in with a midsummer one. Btw, I think your ex is using the Christmas tree as an excuse, she's not the one for you.
I hope you find your midsummer Christmas partner soon.
> I felt a bit insane for insisting on having a Christmas in the middle of the year just to make my grandfather happy.
Never feel bad about doing a special thing for someone you love. I am so proud of you! Thank you for doing this for your grandfather! You'll always have a wonderful memory of this; you'll remember that last Christmas in July forever.
Your ex didn't understand why you would want to do something special for your grandfather. That shows a huge lack of empathy, which is a huge character flaw. You deserve a much better partner.
I'm so sorry for your loss, sending hugs, strength, and much love your way. <3
What you did for your grandfather was so very loving and sweet. A normal partner would be proud of you for doing this. She might even look to the future and think this is the love and compassion this man will show me and possibly our future children. Don't let your girlfriend treat you like you're wrong for showing your grandfather how much you loved him in his final days. Her reaction is completely out of line. 🚩
I know its a difficult time rn. But just wanted to be another stranger to wish you luck, send you support and commend you on doing what you felt was right for your grandfather. What goes on in that relationship is unique and personal, no one has to understand it but you two. So I am glad you had Christmas in July. If you didn't, he would not have seen Christmas before be passed. So now you confirmed you did the right thing. Your grandfather did the best for you and you did the best for him. Its a beautiful relationship and I'm happy you experienced it. Be well
You did a wonderful thing, very warm, responsible and emotional. You got a wonderful gift in return sweet memories and got rid of trash. These are the moments that puts a relationship to test and you found out the girl was not the one. I wish you get all the happiness in life and make your grandpa happy and proud.
My deepest condolences for your loss.
You did the most beautiful thing for your grandfather. What a gift for him that he could experience his favorite time of the year one last time with you. What a gift for you as well to get to spend this wonderful time with your grandfather one last time. You will hold these beautiful memories forever in your heart.
Reading your story the love you share with your grandfather was shining through so much. It deeply touched my heart. Not everyone is so lucky to experience that kind of bond. You two were there for each other from the start until the very end when the roles were reversed. Your ex is a cold hearted person who probably did not love you genuinely. To not be on board with what you did is something beyond my understanding. She is not right for you. I hope she will remain your ex and that you will find someone deserving of your love.
I wish you the very best for your future and wish you well for your hard time of grief. Just remember how lucky you were to get this experience. I'm truly happy on your behalf that you got the time and memories.
So glad you got that so very special memory with him before you lost him and didn't get talked out of it. It will be something you will never regret ever! I'm sorry for your loss but so very happy you have that memory to keep with you. I think I can best sum it up with a quote from Terry Pratchett - No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence.
I'm sorry for your loss. It will hurt for a long time, probably for the rest of your life, but it does get easier and less painful as time goes on. You get to where you can think of them without being overwhelmed with sadness, you get to where it's mostly just the good and happy memories and the warmth of love, without the cloud of grief. That will take some time, but you'll get there.
Don't do anything hasty. If your girlfriend tries to get back with you, don't do it. Wait until the first crush of grief has passed (maybe six months?). Don't let her sweet talk you and don't go to her or take her back just to try to fix your grief and lonely feelings. It's not worth it.
And, frankly, she's demonstrated the kind of person she is. You really do deserve better. You're a kind, loving, thoughtful man. You deserve a kind, loving, thoughtful woman, not a woman who will bail on you for trying to give a dying family member a loving sendoff. She's shallow and lacks empathy. Even if she thought it was dumb, she basically abandoned you, and you're better off without her.
I actually remember the original post!
Very sad to hear that.
But you know what?
You actually did it. You created a great memory and an amazing time for you and your grandpa. What a finale.
You're a wonderful person and I'm sorry for your loss, but at the same time it made my heart swell to hear about your Christmas weekend with your grandfather. Never doubt that you absolutely did the right thing for him.
As for the ex, I'm sorry for you that she wasn't able to put aside her hurt feelings and share your grandpa's last holiday or help you through this. Hopefully you have other people in your life that are there for you and helping you now.
I am so sorry for your loss. Having Christmas in July isn’t stupid, seeing your grandfather happy is not stupid, making the moment count is not stupid. I’m sure that your grandfather is so proud of the man that he’s moulded, and that his memory now lives through you. Much love!
I didn't stumble across your post and update until now. I'm still crying like a waterfall after reading them. The amazingly warm love between you and your grandfather is very precious. It's very clear that you were one of the best things in his life. He must have been so happy to have such a great, gentle and loving grandson and for sure he has contributed a lot into that. I'm so, very sorry for your loss. Your pain is still very raw and new and it must be hard right now. Please consider the advice that many has given about reaching out if you need help.
That beatiful last christmas with your grandfather will definitely stay as a very special memory for you and it must have been a perfect day for him as well. I wish you all the best and hopefully the pain of losing your grandfather will became manigable. It's one of life's most hurtful ironies that in order to love and be loved, we also need to accept the inevitable loss. It's still worth it, always.
Im sorry your girlfriend is an idiot, and I'm sorry for your loss.
Down the road where my parents there was a 4 or 5 year old child that was terminally ill and wouldn't make it to their next christmas.
The entire road put up christmas decorations, made sure it was as Christmassy as possible even though it was like March everyone saying merry christmas, everyone clubbed together to get fake snow for thier house and garden so they could build their first snowman.
It cost people basically nothing and made that kids last few weeks better.
Firstly Op God bless you for making your grandfather's last day so wonderful. Secondly you dodged a bullet anyone that small and mean that can't give a dying man one last day of happiness honestly disgusts me. Move on and know you will find a better partner.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. I’m glad you had Christmas in July with grandfather. Your ex is horrible, I’d do Christmas in July just because, for a reason like this, it feels like a must, and she’s there being hateful.
It was worth it and I’m glad you spent that time with him
As someone who was devastated and inconsolable when she lost her grandparents, I am so so so glad for you that you were able to have a magical time with your grandpa before he left this world. You did absolutely the right thing and he left feeling happy and loved.
As for your girlfriend, the trash took itself out and I hope you don’t let it back in.
When you look back on this years from now, while you will have regrets in life, holding Christmas in July for your grandfather won't be one of them. You two had one more special Christmas together. It meant a lot to you but I don't think words can describe how much it meant to him.
I am sorry for your loss. Your grandfather may not have had much money, but he was rich beyond words in qualities that he passed on to you. Cherish those memories.
As for your girlfriend, yeah, it hurts but I think it's best that it's over. You two have different outlooks on life. You have a massive heart and love for those you are close to. She doesn't. You two are fundamentally incompatible for a long term committed relationship. It hurts, but is for the best.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm also so very glad that you got to share Christmas with your grandfather one last time before he went. Sometimes, they just know when their time is approaching. He telegraphed that to you, and you picked up on it. It's beautiful that you have that kind of relationship with him, and you will ALWAYS have that memory of last Christmas.
I was close with my Grampa. I wanted him to give me away at my wedding. A month or so before the wedding, he called me and said he's absolutely planning to be there, but he was afraid he wouldn't make it. So just in case, he wanted to let me know now how much he loves me and how proud of me he was. He passed soon after that conversation, something heart related. It's been a decade since then, but I recall that conversation every once in a while when I'm feeling down.
A crisis is where you learn who your true friends are. A crisis is where younlearn the true heart of a spouse.
This wasn't even a crisis. This was a party in July.
You messaged the info to her. That is all you needed her to know. This would be a good time to block her.
I was also raised by one grandparent. Who passed away a few years ago. I still have moments of intense sadness because they are missing things.
Going forward, you need to ensure you find people of good character and caring. Watch how people treat the elderly and animals. You will find them.
You will also find people who don't have the depth. She didn't have the depth to appreciate your grandfather. He was probably just an 'old man' to her.
She actually gave you a gift by leaving ao your last time with him could be entirely focused on him.
That doesn't mean she should EVER return to your life. (She might find you more appealing and pretend to be sympathetic due to you having a house and all its space. )
Yes cry. But also spend time reliving the good memories. Also, reach out to extended family members and friends of his for photos.
A couple of years ago I connected online with a kid (now adult) that I spendt a summer or two with due to them also being the grandkid of one of my grandparents friends. I was able to send her pics of her grandmother from 20 years ago when they were younger.
The gift of memories.
The true gift
OP, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. You are an absolute gem.
As I'm writing this, I know you've texted your (hopefully ex) girlfriend about the passing of your grandfather. I just want to say that you dodged and *incredibly* ***cruel*** *and* ***insensitive*** *bullet*. My MIL is in the memory care unit of nursing care. If my husband wanted to do something like this I'd step up and go all out for her. I literally do not get what the harm in doing what you did was for your (again, hopefully ex) girlfriend. What a ...
Be well, OP.
I'm an Atheist who celebrates Christmas as a time of family, reflecting, and being halfway out of the dark of winter. A time to have cozy drinks and food food and time together and time to celebrate one another. It sounds like your July celebration was ALL of those things. You got your grandfather out of the dark of his decline. You did good.
I do t know you but I’m sorry for your loss. You’re a great fucking grandchild for what you did for him and don’t let anyone make you feel like you aren’t.
I am a Christmas lover, and when the time comes for me - should I have the means of knowing - I hope I have a grandson or granddaughter just like you. You did well!
I am so sorry for your loss. Pleas take what ever comfort may come from knowing how special you made your grandfather’s last days, and how special you are to him.
Last but not least: she doesn’t deserve you. The right girl, whenever she may come, will see just how amazing you are when you tell this story.
A few years ago I saw turkeys on sale at the grocery store. It got me wanting a Thanksgiving dinner, so what if it was April? I got the biggest one, so big I had to have my daughter put it in her refrigerator, because mine didn't have room. Realizing how much turkey was there, it evolved into a huge get together with my daughters, their SOs and kids. Even my 22 year old son came, which was a rare treat as his job had him on the road a lot. All the traditional Thanksgiving foods were there, it was delicious! After dinner, everyone went outside, adults and kids horsed around had a blast. One month later my son was killed in a car accident. I am so grateful we had that last "Thanksgiving" together. Just like your Christmas with your Grandfather, it's about celebrating each other and the memories you make, and they don't have to be ruled by a calendar.
I'm sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I remember your original post, and it's wonderful that you got to have that special experience with him. I pray you find peace in that, and in knowing that you did all you could to bring your grandfather happiness in his final days. ❤
I just seriously can't understand your GF not seeing this from your perspective.......but I am completely sorry you lost Grandfather so suddenly.....I hope you find peace, comfort and strength!
I remember your post. It stuck with me the amount of love you have inside of you for those in our lives that deserve it the most. You have made the best decisions and that’s what matters. Lifting you up today.
I encourage you to be proud of making the most of the time that you two had available with each other . And screw your ex girlfriend
i'm SO sorry for your loss. Hugs
i'm very sorry for your loss, friend. i read the original post a while back, on an alternate account, and was hoping the best for you. sending prayers/hugs, i'm glad you got another christmas together and that it provided some meaningful memories for you. it's so much more about that, than the month that you celebrate it in <3
You are a good grandson and I am sorry for your loss. Living with my grandma now and she has similar issues. Sending you big love. I lost my fiance suddenly last year and I just wanna say to be patient with yourself and cultivate your relationships as much as you can, but on your own time line. Grief isn't a linear thing and I feel with and for you.
Oh my god I was thinking about you and grandpa.
I'm glad you two had a beautiful Christmas together. I'm so happy for you guys.
But, I am so so sorry for your loss. May your grandfather rest in peace, and may you, OP find peace as well. Sending you my love. 🧡
I remember your original post. Sorry to hear about your grandfather. I'm sure he appreciated you doing that for him.
I remember your og post. Im sorry fir your loss. It seems that putting the tree up was right thing to do even if she left. Im glad to hear you had his last moments be great, for both you and your grandpa. I’m sure those moments were some of the last he thought of.
This is a beautiful story. You are a good person and I hope you do not settle for someone that was too cold to see the love you have to offer. You deserve someone that is ready to bust out an elf costume when the time calls for it. 😊
You did an amazingly selfless thing, and embraced the pain and love involved in seeing to the last wishes of your grandfather. There is a lot of pain involved in that process, but with it comes a kind of grieving peace and calm because you honored him. It’s been 13 years since I lost my grandmother, and ALL of us miss her and grieve her even now. But we also share happy memories, and when we are together for the holidays we make sure to gift one another with one gift she would have given if she were still here. For me, she is never truly gone. When I wear her birthstone earrings- she is with me. Or when a distant family member stumbles on a collection of candid photos- I get parts of her back. It means a lot to walk with them, and it’s something my grandmother appreciated. We would have frank discussions about what she wanted for her funeral, and how she felt about dying. And her gratitude that I would listen, and ask questions to make sure I understood- it meant a lot. It doesn’t make the pain any easier until a whole lot later. Just be kind to yourself, and figure out ways you can honor your grandfather every day and during family get togethers. It’ll help to grieve with your family. I promise. It has helped immensely with me and mine.
I'm so sorry for your loss. At least, you were able to make him happy one last time.
I am glad you made this decision and did it. You are a good man. I wish you strenght.
Your coldhearted ex never deserved you.
You did the kindnest for your grandpa, you made him happy, now you feel alone that he's not physically here anymore, but he never left, everything he taught you, every moment that you share will be with you. Also someday hopefully you'll find that partner worthy of you and your christmass in july.
Sorry about your grandfather OP you absolutely did the right thing and it's your ex's loss.
> And to my surprise he smiled mischievously, took off his wedding band and gifted it to me as a Christmas present.
That is really awesome. Thanks for the update.
worth it, may you seek redemption brother.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting the update I had been thinking about you since you posted your OP. Bless your grandfather. May he rest in peace.
Oh, and op, having lost both of my parents when I was much younger, crying is a natural - and much needed - part of the grieving process. I hope you're not being hard on yourself! What you did for him was a beautiful act.
You did a wonderful meaningful thing at just the right time. Absolutely your ex girlfriend's loss for not seeing that.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandad but I'm so glad you persisted and gave him the Christmas he deserved. Much love to you kind stranger xx
I am so, so sorry for your loss. What you did was absolutely wonderful- a beautiful sign of your love and gratitude for someone who was clearly an amazing man.
Sorry for your loss. I think you got some nice Christmas gifts from that special ‘Christmas’! The precious memory of the moments you got to spend with your grandpa and the Ex took herself out of your life.
Reading your post made me very emotional.
My grandfather passed away last November the night before Thanksgiving. He never told anyone how sick he truly was and my grandmother, his wife, kept telling him to go to the hospital.
If he had had issues with memory or been around I would have spent all my time with him, made memories like you did, and overall, just enjoy his company.
He had been planning to visit me last summer but couldn't, and now i suspect it was his health issues that kept him from coming.
I would give, everything I have to be able to bring him the happiness like you did your grandfather. You made memories to last your entire life, moments to always reflect on, and brought happiness to someone you love.
Please, never stop being such a kind, considerate and caring person, the world needs more people like you.
Note:i realize this is kind of rambling and I apologize.
I remember your original post. What a beautiful thing you did for your grandfather though I’m so sorry for your loss.
In his last days, he was able to show you the real self of your GF.. Sorry for your loss brother
Sorry for you loss.
You my friend have a heart of gold never change that for anyone!
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am so glad you had each other and a had such a lovely time near the end,
I’m so sorry for your loss, you are a good person and made him very happy
I'm so sorry for your loss OP.
What a beautiful gesture and memory you have.
I’m so very sorry for your loss 💞 Give yourself time to grieve, the pain feels like it will never end and although it never goes away, it becomes much easier to live with over time.
You made an old man very happy. I love it when people take care of old people, I think people forget we all end up old one day. I hope when I’m older that I have grandchildren who care about me like you did your grandfather.
Take care of yourself OP 💞 Please don’t get back with your ex-girlfriend by the way, she wasn’t there for you when you needed her and has already shown her true colours. You deserve better.
Hang in there bro. It sucks. You lost a lot...
But I'm gonna be blunt and say that i think you should let your ex stay lost. If you listened to her selfish ideals you wouldn't have had that last happy memory and I don't need to ask I know for a fact you wont regret losing her like you would have regret not having this time with your grandpa. It would have haunted you till you left her yourself.
I know you want to need someone when times are tough... but the way she disrespected your grandfather makes my blood churn with magma.
So sorry for your loss. You gave him a great last memory. Your the best
I'm really sorry for your loss. This hit close to home, I was pretty much raised by my grandparents and my grandad did a better job at being my dad than his own son. Due to covid (i come from Portugal but live in the UK) i didn't get to do all goodbyes...
You did the right thing and this memory is 100% worth it. He must have known the end was near when he gave you the ring. Hold that love and revisit it whenever you need some.
Takes time to heal, and eventually you'll also find a woman who unlike this one appreciates your true self (i know i did).
Your grandfather raised you to be a kind, gentle, giving and loving man like himself. His example lead you to be the person you are today and I am positive he is SO incredibly proud of you.
Next time you fall in love, please make sure you have someone with the same heart as yours. Take it slow and pay attention to the little things in their actions and behavior.
Because people like you, make this ugly world so much better.
You are a ⭐ star 💕
I remember your post. You did good.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Heartfelt condolences to you. Did you get matching PJs? If yes, where are the photos.
Take care OP. Sending virtual hugs your way. My cats are also sending you good vibes.
I’m so sorry for your lost. But these moments when we do our best for those who are not here anymore, those are moments that stay with you. Hold on to it. You are a very loving person and if your ex didn’t understand it, and even worse, didn’t respect it, she was not the one for you.
i am so very sorry for your loss. you can however rejoice in knowing you gave him a good last few days. it's beautiful how much you clearly loved each other.
regarding your gf i do believe you're better off without her. she was terribly inconsiderate and unempathetic.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so happy that you have those beautiful memories that you created. You will
Always have that with you.
I’m sorry your ex was so strange about it and didn’t understand your feelings about it. Christmas in July is a common thing where I’m from. In the end it’s her loss. You sound like an amazing person who has their priorities right.
Crying is healthy. It’s not cracking, it’s healing.
I’m glad you got the time with him you did and have those memories to cherish.
I’m sorry for your loss, he was lucky to have such a good grandchild and you should be proud!
So sorry for your loss OP. You absolutely did the right thing by your grandfather. Your hopefully ex gf had shown herself to be a terribly selfish human being severely lacking in empathy…I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but it looks like you dodged a bullet with her. If she doesn’t even have enough empathy to even send a text responding to your grandfather’s death then it says a lot about her lack of character
I am so sorry for your loss.
The memories you made together will always be with you. You can take comfort in the knowledge that you enabled him to go out on a high. You are an amazing grandson!
Consoling internet hugs if you want them.
Im so sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing and may you know no more sorrow
You did the right thing. The only thing
Your ex showed her true personality and she is not worthy of you. Very hurtful but rather now thsn later. You will find someone deserving of the good soul that you are
Ah man, you did the right thing.
If we cannot provide some comfort and some happiness to others... Why exactly are we here?
So very sorry for your loss. I am so glad you went with your heart ❤️ and had Christmas for him! Your girlfriend was clearly not the one for you. I am so glad you choose your grandfather over her!
You are the best kind of human.
Maybe grandpa was saving you from a bullet. Sounds like a terrible girlfriend.
The pain from grief will transform into something you can handle more easily, but it will take time.
When I go through the loss of a loved one, I always remind myself of how resilient humans are. We have gone through so much and still somehow come out of it evolved and stronger.
However it is you grieve is the right way, so please, try to honor your grandfather by honoring yourself in this time. You are doing your best, and you deserve to be kind to yourself
May your grandfather’s memory be a blessing.
I remember your original post OP. I'm sorry for your loss. Hang those twinkling lights up and pour some out for your Grandfather.
I was raised by my single mother. She was my best friend, role model, and hero. When I was 20 her cancer had taken a downturn and she knew she was dieing. She called me to her bedside in our living room to talk with me. She told me she was proud of me and the likes. There was a lot that I wanted to say in that moment but my sister in law was there and I didn't want to say it in front of her, and I was too nice to ask her to leave. I also thought I could get it off my chest another time, but I never did. To this day I regret not having one last good emotional conversation with my mom and giving her the good bye she deserved. I'm jealous of the day you spent with your grandfather and I know you will cherish it for the rest of your life. Your grandfather was one of a kind, your ex was one of a million, don't feel bad for your choices.
You are a wonderful person, to bring your grandfather that kind of joy is a gift itself. I’m so sorry about his passing, but your last days together were everything.
Your ex however……well I don’t have anything nice to say so I won’t say it.
I remember your post and how I perceived you as a very strong person. You still are!
Be gentle with yourself during this time. I'm sure that your grandpa loved you immensely and knew that he was loved by you.
Grandson of the decade. You are an absolute legend and he'd have been so proud of you.
Sorry for your loss, remember the good times.
What a beautiful thing you did for your grandfather and what a nice gift you gave yourself in the end. You’ll cherish that memory forever.
Cut your losses on the girlfriend. You’re too kind hearted for her . Some day you’ll meet a girl that meets your heart.
Christmas in july is celebrated here in Australia so i dont see why not to do it in anothr country :)
I love you Buddy. I’m so happy you did Christmas for your grandpa. You knew it was the right thing and what a good idea it was!
Sending you lots of love. Your Grandpa is with you. Always & forever - Merry Christmas in Heaven
Her loss, glad your did this for your grandfather and this may have also saved you a lot of sadness later as she doesn’t seem to be on the same emotional kindness level as you.
Im sorry for your loss man 🥺
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad you and your grandpa got to have one last special moment together. I would honestly think long and hard about your relationship. Your gf showed her true colors is that really someone you want to be with?
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was very close to my grandfather and it hurts too much but it gets better. Stay strong ❤️
Please don't get back with the Grinch. You deserve so much better.
She will suck the life and magic out of you.
Dude you seem like an amazing guy. Your ex was heartless and selfish. It’s not that hard to be compassionate when your SO is going through a loss. You can do much better.
I remember your original post, it made me tear up and your update has made me tear up again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You clearly had a very close relationship with your grandfather, and I'm sure he knew you loved him very much. That must have been a great comfort to him, all the way to the end.
You did an an amazing thing for him before he passed, I hope you can treasure that day for the rest of your life. I'm sorry for your loss.
You sound like a wonderful person Does your girlfriend know how precious you are?
You made this man happy, right before he left for his last trip. When you think of him, you will remember all the good things you had with him. And at the same time you will feel his absence and be sad. Such is life.
With time, the pain will go away. The memories will remain.
I remember reading your original post. I am so sorry for your loss.
I know you didn’t address the girlfriend in this post, which is fine. I know you are grieving. I hope that all the comments you received as well as the recent passing of your grandfather validated the fact that you did the right thing. Moving forward, continue do right by yourself and don’t let negative people or negative energy stand in your way. A lot of people waste their youth on terrible people that don’t positively influence their lives. Your time and energy is better spent on those who can love and appreciate it.
You absolutely did the right thing . You have those happy memories, keep them close. Remember that its ok to cry, be aware people say it gets easier. It doesn't. You just get more used to it. You will have good days and bad days. You looked after him so well, and gave him so much, you will have no regrets. I am sure that he is so proud to have raised such a profoundly good person. My thoughts are with you, also remember that there are groups out there and most likely in your area that can give support and help. It is alot easier to talk with someone who has been in the same place (my own thoughts). Please look out for yourself.
I'm truly sorry for your loss, but PLEASE do not get back with the cruel woman!
What she basically said was 'I don't care about you or your grandfather'
She isn't worth your time or energy!
I went back and read the first story as I missed it.
Yeah, you likely dodged a bullet with that girlfriend, mate. It's gonna suck for a while, it always does. Let yourself feel those feelings for a while. Then know that is she got so upset over you doing something special for a grandfather that meant so much to you and wouldn't be around much longer, she wasn't gonna be a good girlfriend to you anyways.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone... I know it's too near but she's not the girl for you. There are better girls out there 100% who would have truly supported you and your grandfather through this. I know I would have.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you're better off without her. I don't understand how someone can be that cold hearted.
Thank you for providing a day of joy to your grandfather. You knew his health condition wasn't great. You went above and beyond to have Christmas in July. Turns out you did the absolute right thing; if you had listened to your girlfriend, you would have been full of regret right now. Sadly your girlfriend does not understand or did not have empathy for your situation. You should seriously reconsider your relationship with her. I just want you to know that you are a wonderful person for what you provided for your grandfather.
Friend, Grandpa *knew*. I believe he could feel that he wouldn’t live to see your next Christmas, and that’s why he was wistfully thinking of it. You were listening with all your heart. Your mind didn’t comprehend what was happening. Your heart did. You gave him that last Christmas and was a wonderful gift. Even if your selfish girlfriend comes back into your life, you will never regret your Christmas in July. You would have regretted NOT doing it.
I’d say she isn’t the right mate for you, but only you can decide that. I’m sorry for your loss, but so glad you had such a wonder Granddad to raise you.
You seem like a wonderful soul. I’m so sorry for your loss and so grateful that you had such a beloved grandparent in your life. Sometimes the universe guides us toward the right thing… your Christmas in July was exactly what you and grandpa both needed. Your ex-gf sounds incredibly immature and/or incredibly triggered (past trauma?) - either way, her leaving may also have been exactly what you need.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You are a wonderful person and you will find happiness again, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Meanwhile I’m imagining your ex-gf out on her next date.
“So why did you break up with your last boyfriend?”
“He made a fake Christmas in July just to make his dying grandfather happy. I thought it was dumb so I moved out.”
“Uhhh waiter, check please!”
I’m so happy to hear you stood your ground and made Christmas happen.
OP, I hope you know- you gave the BEST present to your grandfather. You fulfilled his wish. It is NOT crazy, it is NOT weird and he definitely had the best time. He left you with great memories as well. Honestly, if I had more time with my grandparents, I’d do everything to make them happy, whether it is Christmas in July, or New year in August.
Also, please don’t go back to your ex. You deserve someone who is compassionate and understanding to situations.
I am so very very sorry for your loss. Your grandpa sounds like a lovely, special person! I'm extremely happy you were able to bring him such joy! I would have done the same thing in a heartbeat if it meant it would make my grandpa happy! You created special memories with your special person. I can only hope you can find someone with as much love, empathy and care as you have. Sweetie, you are not alone; so many of us have had our worlds crash like this, so we share your pain. Hugs from an internet stranger if you want them!
I’m sorry for your loss. Your grandfather, not the girlfriend.
You did the right thing. I hope knowing this and the joy you have your grandfather before he passed will help you to heal.
Everyone grieves differently. Take your time and process your grieve in whatever way feels best. In whatever time line feels best. When you are ready, if you have access, a therapist can also really help.
Sending hugs. 💜
You are a wonderful human and your grandfather was so lucky to have you.
You absolutely did the right thing by making him happy, no matter how silly it seemed.
But I would take a long hard look at the prospect of spending your life with a woman who thinks that making someone you love happy is stupid.
You deserve someone with a heart as good as yours.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to give us all an update, we were all very invested in your story. I shared it with just about everyone I knew.
I know it's very, very hard but remember that is OK to grieve. It's healthy to grieve. I am so happy that you were able to facilitate such a beautiful thing. Christmas has always been magical in my family, your efforts were magical. Just think about how much joy you brought your grandfather. You gave him exactly what he needed most.
Be strong my friend.
You gave him the best gift you could’ve given him before he passed. Such a sweet story you have with him.
This post made me cry.
i’m so glad you ignored your girlfriend and did a christmas celebration anyway. you got to create one last absolutely beautiful memory and you’ll have that forever. girlfriends and boyfriends and partners come and go, but this is a memory that’ll be with you forever and that is the truest form of honoring a person you love.
Just imagine how shitty you would feel if you did what your GF wanted and he died without a christmas.
Im guessing resentment for your GF would have ended that relationship anyway.
I remember your first post, I am sorry to hear of your grandfathers passing, but so glad you gave him that day to be happy!😊 Give yourself time for your feelings to process, it’s a lot to contend with and it takes time. He’ll be happy and proud of you forever!
My grandpa died 13 years ago and I still think about him almost every day and miss him often.