T O P

Grigori Rasputin is one of the scariest looking people i’ve ever seen, if not, THE scariest.

Grigori Rasputin is one of the scariest looking people i’ve ever seen, if not, THE scariest.

mrbrendanblack

No wonder it took so much effort to kill him - he was already dead.


Dunadan37x

Vampirism can do that to a fellow.


poopsaucer24

They had trouble because he had a big old meat masher. It's in a jar in a museum somewhere now...


munchkym

That’s only rumored to be his penis. The person who did the autopsy said his penis was intact. It is thought to be a cow penis.


Nix_Alba

"cow penis" think about that for a sec lol, it's definitely not a bull's penis either


VVVIIIVVVIII

Why was he wanted dead?


plerm

The second picture is of him in a hospital bed after almost dying from a stab wound to the gut. That's why he looks like death in that photo. For some extra creepiness look up pictures of the woman who stabbed him, Khioniya Guseva!


Medieval-Mind

>Khioniya Guseva Was she missing her nose, or is that just the poor quality of the images I found?


plerm

You are correct, sir. This woman had no nose. Rumors were that it rotted off due to syphilis, and that she tried to kill Rasputin because she contracted the disease from him. She claims that was not true and she lost her nose due to an adverse reaction to some medicines she was given as a child. The more likely reason for the murder attempt was that she was a follower of a monk named Iliodor, who was Rasputins biggest rival and who's career was later ended by Rasputin. Fun fact about Iliodor: At one time in Russia, Bishop Hermogenes, Archimandrite Iliodor, and Rasputin, were the most widely known religious figures. Iliodor eventually fled to New York in the 1920's and lived out the rest of his days as a janitor in the Metropolitan Life Insurance Tower in New York City.


Medieval-Mind

Damn. TIL. Also, how far the mighty fall...


plerm

The story of Rasputin, the fall of the Romanovs, pre-WW1 Russian history, and the Russian revolution are all insanely interesting parts of history. I highly recommend checking out some documentaries on these, so fascinating! For example: The Romanovs ruled over Russia for 300 years and even had a woman ruler after her husband was killed for being a shitty Tsar. She later became known as Catherine the Great, and ruled over what is refered to as the "Golden Age of Russia" from 1762-1796, and became the most powerful woman in the world. She totally lived her life like a badass, just openly banging whoever she wanted, winning wars, and starting schools of the arts for women in a time where the Russian people were still seen as property of the nobility. She was centuries ahead of her time.


Anon-and-on

Huzzah!


czaritamotherofguns

Catherine the great also invented the first roller coaster.


[deleted]

Let’s not forget that whole dying from being crushed by a horse she was trying to bang. 😏


Electronic-Ad4753

I'm sorry, what?


plerm

She had quite the rolodex of gentleman callers, many of whom were much younger than her. Of course, this lead to gossip and rumours circulating. One of which, was that she had a special harness made so she could bang her horse. And another, that one day the harness broke and the horse fell on her and that's how she died. Both of which were most likely just rumours and not true, but it's still a fun story to tell!


[deleted]

Right, I think she actually died from a stroke or a series of them or something along those lines. Strokes killed Alexander III, too, if I recall. High blood pressure in the Romanov line? Oh, those Russians…


WhiteWazza

So you’re one of her old callers?


plerm

I wish. That would have been awesome.


BlueOysterCultist

She had no nose? But how did she smell!?!


WhiteWazza

Terrible!


moniac1698

Lmfao good one


czaritamotherofguns

However, Rasputin was said to smell *awful*. Makes sense a chick with no nose could get close enough to stab him.


BlueOysterCultist

[Now that's the sort of joke Hitler would make](https://youtu.be/FBWr1KtnRcI?t=235)!


RadioactiveNutsacks

same way voldemort did


Danzibar9000

Sooo… there’s a chance he banged her without the nose?


plerm

Haha, most likely they never banged.


andinshawn

Honestly, I still don't think she's as creepy as Rasputin. I could only find very few photos of her while ole' Raspy has a a few photo albums worth of creepiness.


9793287233

He looks healthier in the first than in the second


impastanoodle015

Ra-Ra rasputin..


JCole

Lover of the Russian queen


mythicexplore

There was a cat that really was gone


Jaime1417

Ra-Ra Rasputin


GameJutsu_lives_on

Russia's greatest love machine...


the_punisher_ABQ

It was a shame how he carried on


Deadlifts_n_Riffs

*Strings intensify*


spacegeneralx

Cossack dancing intensifies


cdwalrusman

Ohhhhhhhhhhh *those* Russians!


TrueBritishGent

Russia's greatest love machine?? ​ Hmmm! I doubt it LOL


TrickPappy

You derailed the Boney train


neridqe00

Let's get back on that boney train, shall we? https://youtu.be/16y1AkoZkmQ


Medieval-Mind

Give me some [Turisas](https://youtu.be/cdkBs0VCSX0), thanks!


MysteriousDingle

Apparently he was quite the ladies man and had lots of sex.


cheggles

Apparently he had a monstrously large Penis as well.


DrFrankSays

Who doesn't?


dj_narwhal

Woooooahhh there goes Tokyo Ra-Ra Rasputin!


strapping_young_vlad

Oh no, they say he's got to go


TrickPappy

The biggest dong in Europe, show some respect!!


dontreallycareforit

Huge dick, good beer, solid guy.


khayo4u

23 cm of pure plesure


dontreallycareforit

—I am a bot, *beep bop boop*— >23 centimeters is .00114 of an US furlong Have a great day!


cryptkeeper89

Tf is a furlong?


dontreallycareforit

*One furlong is approximately 20116.8 centimeters, which is roughly equal to one-tenth of a Nautical mile*


cryptkeeper89

Still got me lost. How many inches or feet?


Kvetanista

A lot


girthytacos

A quick google search revealed its 9 inches


Ferreur

Good bot


DrFrankSays

I thought that was Hitler.


Ahriman44

He was considered a holy man for many years, however near the end he was heard saying "I am full of many devil's"


dizzyro

A true saint know his devils ...


the_moosey_fate

“Big Dick Mystic, Known to hypnotize!”


Medieval-Mind

Look into my eyes, you perverted witch...


illcueuin

See the soul of the man who made mother russia his bitch


jono9898

You think I give a fuck about my wife?! My own son got locked up in prison and I didn’t save his life!


Super_Vegeta

*I could end you with a whisper to your wife.*


ubdiwala

Fun fact: he has his 11inch weiner in a museum And he has a song describing how furiously he made love


andinshawn

11 inches you say? Any idea what museum this is in? I'd like to check it out for uh, scientific research...


Yelsiap

Sir, this is a museum, not a library.


andinshawn

Actually its madam, but it's a common mistake.


Yelsiap

Ah shit. My bad. Apologies bruh.


blinman94

You need more upvotes.


the_punisher_ABQ

I see what you did there


Electronic-Ad4753

Why did they pickle his pickle?


munchkym

Some believe it has mystical properties and can cure impotence. But it’s believed to be a cow penis.


Thunderthewolf14

UNFORGIVABLE NICHOLAS, YOU *WHORE* I HOPE LENIN SKINS YOU ALIVE IN HELL MY PENIS IS IN A MUSEUM


_kaetee

Pretty sure it’s actually just a sea cucumber.


munchkym

The previous one thought to be his penis was a sea cucumber. This one is thought to be a cow penis.


_kaetee

Ah, gotcha.


puddleOfpebbles

I knew I wasn’t crazy for finding him hot. Like even his face, so attractive, I love the homeless look and I wish I was kidding. Have you been to the museum yourself? Or was that just a fun fact you remembered? :)


ubdiwala

Just a fun fact I remembered. My EX used to like the homeless look(weird coincidence) Got me into some weird stuff that was oddly terrifying


puddleOfpebbles

That is a weird coincidence, wow! You mean she got you into some stuff that was oddly terrifying? Now I’m curious haha, but no worries if you’d rather not share :)


ubdiwala

I'd lovw to share but if its cool with you DM me


puddleOfpebbles

Yeah that’s fine dude!


ksgrl74

First red flag


ramondiazga

This picture is when old This when younger: https://mtndigital.info/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/rasputin-780x450.jpg


Low_Kaleidoscope_369

10/10 russian queens would bang


cweber513

Does anybody see a little Liam Neeson in this pic?


arselkorv

I cant find Liam neeson?? How little is he?


IThinkMyCatIsEvil

Or just a hint of Christian Bale


317LaVieLover

Holy Hells bells he was hot in this one


MartinRages

Im not gay but damnnn


mythicexplore

Now we know why he wouldn’t die. Even death was scared of him.


xahnel

Just remember, that scary man you see was apparently adored by quite a few women. Apparently, there was something about him that appealed to someone. Maybe he's got that Kramer animal magnetism.


Zek177

He is smiling knowing that people will talk about his big dick even after his death


jdel7557

Fun fact: Buddy boy here was a crazed horny redneck that would wonder around bogs just soaking up that stink. Baby boy Raspy would just love being a stinky boy. And historically speaking he had a high-pitched redneck( for Russia) accent.


manseinc

I'm not so much scared of him as much as I think he needs a really good scrubbing with a long handled brush and strong soap. He looks like he has really greasy hair, smells bad and has some kind of fungus. Like you just know he has thick yellow nails. I'm not afraid of the man, I'm afraid of the funk.


NewRedSpyder

It’s not his dirtiness, it’s his eyes. Just look at that second pic, almost triggered my fight or flight.


Magnoire

I've heard he had very poor hygiene yet all the rich women flocked to him.


Disastrous_Maybe7281

He sort of looks he's in a metal band.


spideyfan114

Me: This image doesn't really look that bad. Let's check check the 2nd pict- ***decides to sleep with my parents***


wesg2

We've all slept with your parents. It's not a brag anymore.


spideyfan114

hol up-


ShitForCereal

Dude looked like he stole 5 years old me’s lego brick so I can not complete my set


dizzyro

Looks like someone who saw a thing or two ...


Outrageous-Skill-456

Is this the bad guy from the movie Anastasia?


Medieval-Mind

The real version, yes.


Agitated-Swan132

Please explain further. I was unaware Annastacia had a “real version”


Medieval-Mind

Rasputin, as shown in the cartoon, is very fictionalized and "cartoonified", but he was a real person - just not terribly similar to the version portrayed in that particular film.


Agitated-Swan132

Ahh, so no pet bat?


Laying_PipeNYC

Big ol’ pp on him tho.


FlameHank

He looks like a child kidnapper


franksidebottom1

This guy fucks


ystepieet

Wow, I just found out his dick is displayed in a pickle jar


_bluntman_

At first glance, I actually thought it was Fagan from Oliver twist


Alex153Brb

Isn't that just Harry's uncle?


droggggelbecher

No, its igor Karkaroff


Rate_Zestyclose

God i look like him


Potential_Debt9639

He also always smelled like shit but he had to beat women off with a stick.


squirtingwalrus

Supposedly he had a ghoulish penis as well. Very spooky.


Nightingale_Yvy

Mmm... He doesn't creep me out but the smile of Chikatilo the russian cannibal really gets me.


HardlyHardon

So you mean to tell me that THIS was Russia’s greatest love machine?


yeroldpappy

He is just a big ole teddy bear.


NoirYT2

Mark Bonanno?


poseidonsarmpit

I can't believe I had to scroll so far for this


KailTheDryad

He must’ve really had his demons


TheTaterTotBoy

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago…


YouveGotTheTouch2

He's actually one of the primary villains in Shadowhearts: Covenant. One of the best JRPGs I've ever played.


saltWaterTallTrees

this man needs more sleep


waynea82

I bet his breath stinks


Jakeandbake182

Heard he hung dong


windshadowislanders

It's like if you trapped Ringo Starr in a cave with nothing but cockroaches to eat and then came back to let him out to see the light of day for the first time in 10 years


BallisticMarsupial

Didn't he used to die like every week?


EpsilonOnizuka

But he was such a lovely dear


Yugo_Furst

I don't think he looks scary at all. We have some less fortunate people living on the streets that are quite frightening. Most are actually nice people but others are quite vicious. Don't judge people by thier appearance. (This is not directed at the OP. Rasputin is an historical figure who, while not a politician per say, moved within political circles.)


rasputinriver

Rasputin had 9 lives like a cat it’s actually insane


retro_reaper_nix

ok i was like ok he doesnt look that bad and then i go to the second pic and was like OK I GET IT NOW AHHHH


Indiana-Cook

He looks like a cult leader


JitterySuperCoffee

It’s since been proven to be a myth but his death story was pretty insane. Poisoned, shot, beaten and then and only then drowning in the ice cold river with visible evidence of him struggling with his bindings.


Bubbly_Fisherman_541

He is so fucking scary


IntelligenceCorn

This ugly son of a bitch is fucking super hot chicks and basically, you are fucking stupid.


GodInABag

"How? Just watch this free video..."


IntelligenceCorn

[THIS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16y1AkoZkmQ) free video.


spoonhenge

People downvoting this probably don’t get the reference


ChemPlay

***He will kill you after fucking your daughter.***


SYLOK_THEAROUSED

“BIG DICK MYSTIC!”


flenderblender87

Isn’t this the guy who giant dong is now pickled and on display in Russia?


donny4u

Hey I saw that guy the other day in a antifa crowd!


Schwanz_Hintern64

So you're saying Antifa is scary?


donny4u

No just uuuuugly!


Schwanz_Hintern64

It seems like they're malnutritioned and republican groups are just fat so I guess it evens out


[deleted]

[удалено]


Schwanz_Hintern64

Who says I'm butthurt? I'm havin a good time breh


speedybol

general grievous


heruka108

reminds me Osho


Tankastank69

Alot of people looked like that back then i guess


didi_brz

Indeed. Funny fact, the first time I've learned of him is was in a Neo Geo game called World Heroes. Odd fashion to know about this fellow


PanicAtTheDisco_geek

Bruh what you mean? I live in the deep south and I'm pretty sure I know a guy that looks just like him lol


sparkzsims

Why have I been seeing this guy all over Reddit today?!


Sneesh_lord

This dude fucked...


MookleSpookle

Good evening Clarice


HeroOrHooligan

He and Charles Manson could be bowling chums


Floatinhead

He might be ugly, but he FUCKED. lol


ZebraSyndromeGaming

Ra ra Rasputin lover of the Russian queen


Floatinhead

https://www.lastpodcastontheleft.com/episodes/2018/4/7/episode-310-rasputin-part-i-greg-drunk


meekonesfade

Ra-ra-Rasputin lover of the Russian queen


WysDaWolf

But the women loved him!


VIDireWolfIV

“Rasputin wasn’t influencing the Tsar he isn’t evil” Meanwhile Rasputin: ^^


My_Immortal_Flesh

# I wonder what he looked like as a child…. 🪦


polysnip

It looks like the man never slept


NeoNuwu

did you see a meme about him today ? cuz i went on to search who he was just today because of it haha


Thatfuzzball647

Thats what happens when you use dark magic


rare_meeting1978

This man has the most intense gaze I have ever seen, like staring into my soul.


Glittering-Stretch-6

Charles mansonishh


UdonKnight79

Dude looks high is all


Goosey9000

It's those come to bed eyes in the second pic that get me


skonezilla

Looks like Sirius black from Harry potter..


HotTopicMallRat

You saw that penis post earlier didn’t you?


NewRedSpyder

No i didn’t? A friend talked about him to me him last night so I looked him up.


HotTopicMallRat

Oh. Welp. Now I look fucking dumb


NewRedSpyder

You’re good lol


Procast17

Link to his penis if your curious.... https://www.reddit.com/r/ArtefactPorn/comments/5z3l6m/the_preserved_penis_of_grigori_rasputin_1039x694/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


floating_bells_down

I wonder if he was good in bed.


ChromozomRay

Forsen


elegant_pun

He's got the eyes of someone who is very, very, very unwell. Similar o Charles Manson.


T0MT0MT0MT0MT0M

Yet Rasputin is the most beautiful and powerful thing to have been built during the Golden Age. Whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into a war with the cabal on Mars.


EmperorThan

He looks like a caricature of a Russian.


JackyQ95

I read something once that said he had bugs living in his beard..


ComprehensiveRun7348

Look the closest thing you'll ever see of finding a gollum or Bigfoot eesh he could give kids nightmares


uglyzombie

His daughter is buried in Los Angeles. She became a major socialite here after moving. I believe the cemetery is called Angeles rose, or something close to that. Great visit; gorgeous crypts.


TheWholloper

Could have chose a more creepy photo


AshPoppet

*”I like your funny words, magic man!”*


Manbearjizz

I guess bitchez always been into the psycho serial killer type dudes