"Sir, we cornered the Ouroboros Killer, but we don't have any evidence."
"Take them into custody anyway."
"... Well, we would, but he swallowed himself and disappeared."
I mean, thermite is super easy to make, requires common things that do not look suspicious, and turns hardened steel into random slag.
It can render a gun into a fun unrecognizable abstract sculpture in about 6 seconds (listen, I actually grew up in the "closest city is 3 hours away" rural environment, before the internet, we had to make our own fun).
Until they find dna on that grinder. Dump the grinder in the river. Clean it first, tough. Or skip the knife and use an icicle. Then the evidence melts. No fingerprints. No sign of any weapon anywhere.
I’ve said too much!
Wipe the knife in rubbing alcohol first. Then soak it in bleach. Then flame sterilize it. Then sand it into dust. Then replace the sanding wheel. Thoroughly clean any shavings and dust with disinfectant and also the sander itself before replacing the sanding wheel. Don't dispose of the sander because that will raise eyebrows. In fact, sand some wood so it looks used as well.
Here is your gif!
https://imgur.com/D2MI9s0.gifv
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Morty: “Oh god, Rick, the things, they kept coming and coming, and the sander kept sanding them. And then after the things ran out, the people holding them, they, *sniff* they sanded the people Rick! The people were sanded! *sobs hysterically*
Rick: Well Morty, if there’s *buuuurp* if there’s one thing I can tell you, it’s that you should be glad it wasn’t a wood chipper. Poor little original Morty…
Morty: Um, what?
Rick: Don’t you have some shenanigans to get up to? You know, you kids love your shenanigans. Here, here’s some money for a sander.
Edit: a letter
Another interesting detail is that the colour of the metal changes from a yellowish to straight silver when heated.
Edit: if I were to guess, that'd be an oxidised layer being burnt away. Could be wrong though.
I think they’re usually just pins. The pins are inserted to hold the handle in place against the tang and then it’s glued together. I guess some mass produced knives might use rivets or screws.
The difference is a rivet head is deformed to be wider than the pin in order to hold the thing it connects in place. But trying to rivet to something soft like wood would run the risk of splitting the wood or having the wood shrink or deform over time and the handle would then not be tightly fastened.
Corby bolts are the other thing they use besides pins. They are pins, but with a male and female end screw that meets in the middle. The heads get ground off so it looks just like a pin, but with the strength of a screw.
About a week ago r/mildlyinfuriating had an overflow of posts about family members borrowing someone's Japanese knife and it getting damaged in some way
Gotta say, I am surprised at how many people on Reddit are unfamiliar with handling chef's knives of any quality, let alone people who seem to think Japanese knives are just weeb bait.
A local guy rented a wood chipper and ground up his ex-wife into a river during a rainstorm. He was caught returning the wood chipper to the rental store. Bits of hair and stuff still on the machine.
I’d imagine it’s more a matter of somehow cleaning a wood-chipper so well that a investigative team couldn’t find a single trace. Probably lots of little nooks and crannies where evidence could end up
Better hope;
1) it’s not someone that can be tied to you
2) there’s literally zero evidence because renting and “accidentally” destroying a wood chipper around the same time someone you know mysteriously disappears might raise some eyebrows.
What do you do with the wood chipper that's now covered in evidence?
Do you rent a wood chipper or do you already own one? Renting a wood chipper shortly before your nemesis disappears forever is kinda suspicious
A body would 100% mess up a chipper in some way or at least leave fragments of hair, blood, bone which would definitely be noticed upon the maintenance any good company would perform when getting the chipper back
> which would definitely be noticed upon the maintenance any good company would perform when getting the chipper back
so you just rent from Home Depot, then?
that bad luck when you rent a wood chipper thats been used to dispose a body, they didnt notice it when the murderer returned it, but notice it when you return it.
just buy one and throw it in a hole, qnd cover the hole up. Chances it gets found are super low. Expensive, but you could buy a small woodchipper and throw the body in parts
There was a case where the teeth didn't get chopped up. They found some teeth down river and identified them.
So pull the teeth and bury them in a third spot somewhere.
And don't Google shit like, "What part of the forest do people not go?", or, "Where is the deepest forest near me?"
Please, please.. steel mill.. evidence in the liquid metal furnace.. literally no evidence left.. but I guess not everyone has access to a steel mill lol
Going to leave dna fragments all over the kitchen, and could you imagine how long it'll take to freeze a body??
I'm partial to developing a need for brick oven pizza and then telling the neighbors you're trying out some new ingredients.
Ps: I'm not saying feed your neighbors people Jesus you guys are sadistic
and that's why you would be caught, sinks are notorious for leaving trace material, better to just fill up some plastic paint cans drive it to a remote location and then dispose of it, bonus points if you use red paint cans
Pigs… just chop up the body and feed it to pigs… they eat anything and leave nothing behind… source: episode of criminal minds where the killer had killed atleast 100 victims and the only evidence that remained of them where the shoes in a box by the pig pen
Possibly, but you'd still have blood droplets that would escape as the sanding happened. So you'd need to make sure you had plastic around the sanding area to keep clean up to a minimum
Reminds me of the Alfred Hitchcock show where the wife bludgeoned her husband to death with a frozen leg of lamb, put it in the oven and served it to the detectives after they searched in vain for the murder weapon.
Is that like negative grit? Maybe a little anti-matter thrown in for good measure? Jesus. No sanding wheel I’ve ever worked with could do that. Sheeeeeit.
A big, nice sanding wheel, like 40-45cms (One feets, then half of another, use the same foot for accurate measurements), is going to have a wheel that weighs 20-30kgs (the weight of a really really big raccoon). If you're working on one that's well maintained, when you turn it off, it will keep spinning for an hour, maybe more. There's a lot of momentum in that disc once it gets going. Once it gets up to speed, you don't even need to leave it on. They're really quite scary!
Hey man I'm not the country who doesn't use the metric system. You gotta convert it somehow. I dunno how much 25-30kgs is in pounds off the top of my head, but I do know that a really really big raccoon can weight that much.
Yeah dude raccoons can be huge. They're really smart and are one step below wolverines in terms of how vicious they can be.
They're charming and endearing when they're keeping their distance and think you might feed them, but when they figure out how to bust down the screen and get into your cupboards at night, they ain't cute no more!
Also yeah a big sanding disc is a great thing to own. The sandpaper on them is intense, I imagine it's because it's one big piece you can just thunk on there, and it doesn't need to bend or go around any edges. You can put a ton of rough material on there and let it wear away over time.
I was fortunate that when I was living in the boonies a factory was going out of business, and they were selling a really big industrial sanding disc for not a lot of money, so I bought it. Great thing to own, and you find so many uses for it. So many times I'd be like "dang I just need to quickly dull this", "I need to round this", "my foot bone is too long". Flip it on, let it get up to speed, which takes about a minute, turn it off, and it will go until you leave the shop.
Terribly unwieldy, I don't remember how many hundreds of pounds it weighed, I wanna say around 300? If you have the space and means to move one around, absolutely get one. If not, my god. They're huge and almost burdensome to own!
This is really distressing for me. It upsets me when something perfectly functional gets destroyed for no reason. I know in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter but I'm damaged like that
I’m more concerned about where the particles are going. Metal doesn’t just disappear into thin air, unless that’s literally what’s happening in which case that air is probably not too safe to breathe
>What should we sand next? A hydraulic press. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
Winner of that match faces off against the blender from Will It Blend.
Vintage
Aaaaaamd here we go!
Comments you can hear.
Shouldn't do that, it'll dull the knife
Null the knife*
Cull the knife
Lull the knife?…. to sleep
Perma-sleep
That sleep of death, whet stones may come.
Mr. Sandman, grind to the tang...
Have my freebie. This made me laugh. 😂
"Oh ya hear that lads? He says we'll blunt the kniiiives."
Blunt the knives, bend the forks Smash the bottles and burn the corks...
Chip the glasses and crack the plaaaates, THAT'S WHAT BILBO BAGGINS HATES!
Alright I’ll remember for next time
What knife?
*Black Bolt (attempts to) scream[s]*
Good way to dispose of evidence… what knife??
This video has just saved me a lot of time and elaborate planning.
Make sure you have the equipment well in advance so your purchase history doesn’t look to sus.
Use the grinder on your purchase history.. DUH!
This guy disposes of evidence
Dispose the body with the grinder
And then dispose of that grinder with another grinder.
It's grinders all the way down
Finally, turn the grinder on itself.
"Sir, we cornered the Ouroboros Killer, but we don't have any evidence." "Take them into custody anyway." "... Well, we would, but he swallowed himself and disappeared."
Used Grindr. Not disappointed
This guy person of interests
If it looks suspicious you just bought a grinder to dispose of evidence you can always use another, larger grinder to dispose of the original grinder.
It’s grinders all the way down
Grindception
I mean, thermite is super easy to make, requires common things that do not look suspicious, and turns hardened steel into random slag. It can render a gun into a fun unrecognizable abstract sculpture in about 6 seconds (listen, I actually grew up in the "closest city is 3 hours away" rural environment, before the internet, we had to make our own fun).
Harder knives are tougher to grind. Buy a really cheap knife with alot of bend.
Nah they have really good grinders now. Just check out Grindr.com
Instructions unclear, dick stuck in Jeff.
When you're done make sure you get a second sander to get rid of the evidence left on the sander you used to get rid of the evidence.
r/illegallifeprotips
Then you invite other questions like "why is your sander bloody?".
Yeah but then you just use a second sander to dispose of your first sander. Easy peasy.
“Why is your second sander bloody?”
I can't believe I have to explain this, since it's extremely obvious, but you'll need a *third* sander.
…holy shit you’re right
Seems wasteful, when you can just use the first sander again on the second sander.
What first sander?
Its sanders all the way down.
[удалено]
But then why is your third sander bloody?
It's sanders all the way down
[удалено]
I dunno, you’d want it to be *very* clean beforehand or you’re just spreading dna evidence all over the workshop.
Until they find dna on that grinder. Dump the grinder in the river. Clean it first, tough. Or skip the knife and use an icicle. Then the evidence melts. No fingerprints. No sign of any weapon anywhere. I’ve said too much!
Wipe the knife in rubbing alcohol first. Then soak it in bleach. Then flame sterilize it. Then sand it into dust. Then replace the sanding wheel. Thoroughly clean any shavings and dust with disinfectant and also the sander itself before replacing the sanding wheel. Don't dispose of the sander because that will raise eyebrows. In fact, sand some wood so it looks used as well.
Murder weapon? What murder weapon? r/noevidencenocrime
[удалено]
He should sand the wrench he's using to hold the knife next.
And then the hand holding the wrench?
No, there’s a vice offscreen holding the wrench
Sand that, then
And then whatever's holding the vice
Another sander is holding the vice
Sand everything on Earth in order, starting with whats holding the object that got sanded
Return everything to dust. Its the only way.
Then sand the dust
Sandception
Ok thanos chill
Sand the dust again
Then sand the Earth itself.
Its sanding all the way down
It's wrenches all the way down
Vise. Yeah, I’m the kinda guy who corrects posts. It’s my vice.
Er... yes? for...uh...science?
[Like this?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/iza3rz/nani/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x)
I’d rather see this video in reverse!
u/gifreversingbot
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Good freaking bot.
Can we sand the bot?
I didn't take part in this inhumane act. Just saying when the robots take over they'll remember my innocence.
Well that was even MORE satisfying than I hoped it would be!
Reverse entropy go brrr
Ludwig Boltzmann in shambles. Edit: shout out to the fellow thermo survivors upvoting this
Was thinking the same thing.
Me too
me too, an endless loop of stuff holding other stuff about to be sanded.
I hope he stops before hand
Nope, just changes the subreddit. After hand it’s just an endless line of people feeding people into it.
This belongs in Rick and Morty
Morty: “Oh god, Rick, the things, they kept coming and coming, and the sander kept sanding them. And then after the things ran out, the people holding them, they, *sniff* they sanded the people Rick! The people were sanded! *sobs hysterically* Rick: Well Morty, if there’s *buuuurp* if there’s one thing I can tell you, it’s that you should be glad it wasn’t a wood chipper. Poor little original Morty… Morty: Um, what? Rick: Don’t you have some shenanigans to get up to? You know, you kids love your shenanigans. Here, here’s some money for a sander. Edit: a letter
Exceedingly good
yeah that was actualy really good.
r/meatcrayon - probably nsfw
You think he would but the hand turns out to be a fake silicone hand
Phew
VICE-GRIPS
Real Vise-Grips are ridiculously strong. Much more so than a 1990s k-mart steak knife
Was gonna say, the grind wheel will get worn before much of that vice grip is gone
My thoughts exactly! "Keep going you cowards!"
That's a vicegrip not a wrench
Your mind went:"please keep going" as well didn't it
Vise Grips. Yes, sand ‘em.
It's interesting how the nails(?) get hot and burn the wood quick before being sanded away.
Another interesting detail is that the colour of the metal changes from a yellowish to straight silver when heated. Edit: if I were to guess, that'd be an oxidised layer being burnt away. Could be wrong though.
Likely, they are bronze or brass, and that silver is actually a heat scale oxide layer.
Since you (?)ed, those are called rivets! Edit: or pins, depending on how the knife is made.
I think they’re usually just pins. The pins are inserted to hold the handle in place against the tang and then it’s glued together. I guess some mass produced knives might use rivets or screws. The difference is a rivet head is deformed to be wider than the pin in order to hold the thing it connects in place. But trying to rivet to something soft like wood would run the risk of splitting the wood or having the wood shrink or deform over time and the handle would then not be tightly fastened.
Corby bolts are the other thing they use besides pins. They are pins, but with a male and female end screw that meets in the middle. The heads get ground off so it looks just like a pin, but with the strength of a screw.
Thank you!
I had no idea sanders were so easy to stab through!
He even stabbed the handle through. Cheap ass sander.
You keep away from Bernie.
I am once again asking for you... to stop doing that.
MY EXPENSIVE JAPANESE KNIFE!
Oh god not this again
Oh no, it was just a poop knife.
A knife to help you poop?
No you use it to cut the poop off.
I thought you cut the huge turd in the bowl. Whose weak ass turd cutter can’t pinch off a loaf?
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/
Context?
About a week ago r/mildlyinfuriating had an overflow of posts about family members borrowing someone's Japanese knife and it getting damaged in some way
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/vglz51/my\_father\_borrowed\_my\_expensive\_japanese\_knife/
Gotta say, I am surprised at how many people on Reddit are unfamiliar with handling chef's knives of any quality, let alone people who seem to think Japanese knives are just weeb bait.
I guarantee it was one of those Kamikoto knives that uses the shittiest steel possible but still costs $300.
Sand...a sander!
Came to say this! An entire sanding machine that is also on sanding. Battle of the sanders
It would be all fun and games until they caught on fire. Then you’d had have to deal with burny sanders.
Just sand the fire
No more *Mr Knife Guy*
I always thought the best way to get rid of a dead body would be to freeze it solid and "sand" it down over a sink with the water running.
This kinda info would have really been useful to me 16 hours ago
There's still time to go out and buy a deep freezer.
Not without raising suspicion.
r/holup
please...wood chipper. middle of dense forest, evidence gone forever. animals/decomposers will get rid of all waste within 2 weeks.. completely
A local guy rented a wood chipper and ground up his ex-wife into a river during a rainstorm. He was caught returning the wood chipper to the rental store. Bits of hair and stuff still on the machine.
This is why you don’t cheap out. Dude deserves to be caught, who tf RENTS their murder weapon
The ex husband is definitely going to be a suspect anyway, that new woodchipper would be investigated. Who doesn't clean their murder weapon though...
I’d imagine it’s more a matter of somehow cleaning a wood-chipper so well that a investigative team couldn’t find a single trace. Probably lots of little nooks and crannies where evidence could end up
that's why you throw that wood chipper into another bigger wood chipper
Ahh, the wood chipper chipper
How much wood chipper could a wood chipper chipper chip if a wood chipper chipper could chip wood chippers?
It is really really hard to clean those crannies. Not worth it.
Move it to a new location, use it to chip wood, and oh no it “accidentally” caught on fire and burnt to the ground.
“A few raccoons fell in there when I wasn’t looking. Probably a suicide pact.”
"Oh hidy-ho officer! We've had a doozy of a day."
Here we are, minding our own business... when all these raccoons start killing themselves all over our property!
Better hope; 1) it’s not someone that can be tied to you 2) there’s literally zero evidence because renting and “accidentally” destroying a wood chipper around the same time someone you know mysteriously disappears might raise some eyebrows.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Ooops!
Did ya lose that arm to the wood chipper?
What do you do with the wood chipper that's now covered in evidence? Do you rent a wood chipper or do you already own one? Renting a wood chipper shortly before your nemesis disappears forever is kinda suspicious
Buy it now then! Wait for a nemesis, then bury the thing with a back hoe and it’ll never be seen again.
Mr. Smith, please tell the court why you rented a backhoe the day after your nemesis disappeared.
i mean you'll never get that woodchipper fuller clean again but as long as it was borrowed/a rental
A body would 100% mess up a chipper in some way or at least leave fragments of hair, blood, bone which would definitely be noticed upon the maintenance any good company would perform when getting the chipper back
> which would definitely be noticed upon the maintenance any good company would perform when getting the chipper back so you just rent from Home Depot, then?
that bad luck when you rent a wood chipper thats been used to dispose a body, they didnt notice it when the murderer returned it, but notice it when you return it.
Just sand the wood chipper away, ez
just buy one and throw it in a hole, qnd cover the hole up. Chances it gets found are super low. Expensive, but you could buy a small woodchipper and throw the body in parts
There was a case where the teeth didn't get chopped up. They found some teeth down river and identified them. So pull the teeth and bury them in a third spot somewhere. And don't Google shit like, "What part of the forest do people not go?", or, "Where is the deepest forest near me?"
Please, please.. steel mill.. evidence in the liquid metal furnace.. literally no evidence left.. but I guess not everyone has access to a steel mill lol
“Haven’t seen Todd in a while. He was always a little rough around the edges.” “Not anymore”
Going to leave dna fragments all over the kitchen, and could you imagine how long it'll take to freeze a body?? I'm partial to developing a need for brick oven pizza and then telling the neighbors you're trying out some new ingredients. Ps: I'm not saying feed your neighbors people Jesus you guys are sadistic
try sanding ice, then get back to me
and that's why you would be caught, sinks are notorious for leaving trace material, better to just fill up some plastic paint cans drive it to a remote location and then dispose of it, bonus points if you use red paint cans
Pigs… just chop up the body and feed it to pigs… they eat anything and leave nothing behind… source: episode of criminal minds where the killer had killed atleast 100 victims and the only evidence that remained of them where the shoes in a box by the pig pen
Also this scene from Snatch is good https://youtu.be/u3qy4Zv4snI
So the pigs don't eat the shoes? Amateurs
Possibly, but you'd still have blood droplets that would escape as the sanding happened. So you'd need to make sure you had plastic around the sanding area to keep clean up to a minimum
Ok Dexter.
Abrasion generates a lot of heat, you wouldn't get far before it wasn't frozen any longer.
Reminds me of the Alfred Hitchcock show where the wife bludgeoned her husband to death with a frozen leg of lamb, put it in the oven and served it to the detectives after they searched in vain for the murder weapon.
Is that like negative grit? Maybe a little anti-matter thrown in for good measure? Jesus. No sanding wheel I’ve ever worked with could do that. Sheeeeeit.
A big, nice sanding wheel, like 40-45cms (One feets, then half of another, use the same foot for accurate measurements), is going to have a wheel that weighs 20-30kgs (the weight of a really really big raccoon). If you're working on one that's well maintained, when you turn it off, it will keep spinning for an hour, maybe more. There's a lot of momentum in that disc once it gets going. Once it gets up to speed, you don't even need to leave it on. They're really quite scary!
i can't tell if you're serious as you measured it's weight in raccoons. kinda cool though.
Hey man I'm not the country who doesn't use the metric system. You gotta convert it somehow. I dunno how much 25-30kgs is in pounds off the top of my head, but I do know that a really really big raccoon can weight that much.
also love that you still haven't answered whether you're serious or not lol
Yeah dude raccoons can be huge. They're really smart and are one step below wolverines in terms of how vicious they can be. They're charming and endearing when they're keeping their distance and think you might feed them, but when they figure out how to bust down the screen and get into your cupboards at night, they ain't cute no more! Also yeah a big sanding disc is a great thing to own. The sandpaper on them is intense, I imagine it's because it's one big piece you can just thunk on there, and it doesn't need to bend or go around any edges. You can put a ton of rough material on there and let it wear away over time. I was fortunate that when I was living in the boonies a factory was going out of business, and they were selling a really big industrial sanding disc for not a lot of money, so I bought it. Great thing to own, and you find so many uses for it. So many times I'd be like "dang I just need to quickly dull this", "I need to round this", "my foot bone is too long". Flip it on, let it get up to speed, which takes about a minute, turn it off, and it will go until you leave the shop. Terribly unwieldy, I don't remember how many hundreds of pounds it weighed, I wanna say around 300? If you have the space and means to move one around, absolutely get one. If not, my god. They're huge and almost burdensome to own!
Is it sharp yet?
I like how the bolts get so hot that they turn itself and the wood around them black.
Put sound on the next video. Eeeeeeerrrrreerrrrrrrcccccchhhhhccchhhhjjjnnneeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr
Sander vs finger
Sander vs penis
r/dontputyourdickinthat
A bowling ball
Is that a sander or a wormhole to another dimension?
They should sand a blendtec blender.
This is really distressing for me. It upsets me when something perfectly functional gets destroyed for no reason. I know in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter but I'm damaged like that
I’m more concerned about where the particles are going. Metal doesn’t just disappear into thin air, unless that’s literally what’s happening in which case that air is probably not too safe to breathe
You’re not alone! It bothers me too.
Plot twist, the sander is actually cake
Scource?
What in the holy hell is a scourse?
I would say that pair of vice grips should be next
You should sand another sander
Well that murder weapon will never be found.
Doesn’t this dull the knife?