It makes sense to me. Best resume’ he could ever hope to have, probably the best he has felt body wise in years, and now he has a pretty laid back job on TV. What would be the point?
After Dan Marino retired without winning any Super Bowls (the year before Tom Brady entered the league), a black magic curse was placed on the Dolphins. The spirit of all future Miami QB's was split into 10 horcruxes and each placed inside of an individual Lombardi trophy. The rebellion fought back though, a hero was anointed to find the 10 horcruxes. He was placed into a super secret government training program (Codename: TB12).
Now that he has unlocked 7 of the horcruxes, you can see some of the spirit has returned to Miami QB's. The missing 3 are still endlessly dragging them down though. So, Tom Brady continues tirelessly on his quest.
"One football LACES OUT, one toenail from an NFL coach infected with gout..." There is a whole backstory as to how Rex Ryan was able to rise as far as he did but I digress. If I go any further, I'll give away the full incantation they used.
Ace Ventura is actually a documentary of the events that took place after the people who originally put out a voodoo curse on the Dolphins found out about Tom Brady's chase for the horcruxes. Their plan at that point was to murder Dan Marino because they saw through visions that specific event would alter the timeline enough to ensure Tom Brady never succeeded.
The reason why Ace Ventura 2 is so seemingly unrelated is because that whole movie actually would be more of a prequel. It is more of a documentary focused on how the bad guys found the witch doctors to put the curse on the Dolphins.
I think if Brady took the physical contact Gronk took he would’ve retired too. Tom Brady’s longevity is due to his incredibly smart play style. There is simply no equivalent of that at the TE position. QB and K/P are the only positions where you could potentially have the type of longevity Brady’s had.
Edit: even if there was some smart equivalent of Brady’s style for the TE it sure as shit wasn’t what Gronk was doing.
Tom Brady is literally built different. Mans gave up everything to get a third HoF worthy career.
I doubt Gronk or anyone else for that matter will go that far.
Listen - I hate Brady as much as everyone else that’s not a Bucks or Patriots fan but don’t compare Ronaldo to Brady as far as legacy goes. This World Cup & failed season at ManU completely exposed how terrible Ronaldo has become whereas Brady can still win games with clutch plays.
Think Ronaldo last season. That is comparable to Brady.. Shit team, but still clutching a few hattricks and carrying the team. Basically Brady this season
His under dog mentality. In his interview with Peyton in Peyton’s place he sort of gives it away. He said he didn’t have a really big shot because he was a sixth round pick compared to a first round qb who gets more chances. He talked about having to prove himself because he knew his job was able to be taken from him how he took Bledsoes. he wanted to comeback in 2008 in season after his acl tear because he saw rivers do the same for the championship game.
I love Brady. Huge fan. Own several TB12 items of clothing.
Even I admit the guy is damaged. He gave up his marriage for like another year with the Bucs.
Okay well combine that with the report that Gisele wasnt getting enough dick from tb12 and its safe to assume her vacations arent for portable juijitsu. At least the pg13 version of juijitsu
He most likely didn't give up his marriage. This is the stupidest narrative that keeps getting repeated I can't believe you guys actually fall for it. Marriages take a very long time to end usually
Bizarrely, today I read a quotation from Nixon of all people that seems to describe a mentality similar to Brady's.
>What starts the process, really, are the laughs and snubs and slights you get when you are a kid. Sometimes, it's because you're poor or Irish or Jewish or Catholic or ugly or simply that you are skinny. But if you are reasonably intelligent and if your anger is deep enough and strong enough, you learn that you can change those attitudes by excellence, personal gut performance, while those who have everything are sitting on their fat butts....
But once you learn that you've got to work harder than everybody else, it becomes a way of life as you move out of the alley and on your way. In your own mind you have nothing to lose, so you take plenty of chances and if you do your homework many of them pay off. It is then that you understand, for the first time, that you have the advantage because your competitors can't risk what they have already.
It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it because it is a part of you and you need it as much as you can do an arm or a leg. So you are lean and mean and resourceful and you continue to walk on the edge of the precipice because over the years you have become fascinated by how close to the edge you can walk without losing your balance.
Was about to say this, that hit broke a couple of his ribs and he was still playing till the end. Don’t blame him for hanging it up for years at a time if he doesn’t want to take that kind of punishment
He had back surgery in college, that's why his draft stock fell.
When he's healthy everyone knew he'd be good, but I guess they didn't realize how much he worked at getting back on the field
My theory is that USAA got so tired of civilian members calling, they had to make commercials in such a way that makes it look like Gronk has early onset dementia.
Has there been a major misunderstanding because of social media and punctuation yet?
It'll happen eventually -
Patrick Mahomes:
'I'm officially resigning.'
sadface chiefsfans, NOOOOOO!
'Ooops, I meant re-signing!'
If you're hearing or seeing his wife or brother then you're actively searching them out just so you can be angry about it. I couldn't even tell you what either sounds like and I couldn't pick his brother out of a crowd.
I like Gronk, but those commercials are awful.
He's a fun personality on pregame shows and stuff, but giving him a script and lines and wanting him to act at all is just awful.
Also, the "joke" of the commercials that he wants USAA but can't have it is kinda dumb and not really funny.
I'd put most the blame on whoever created them really, but either way, just awful.
Can’t party if his back gets anymore fucked up. Im sure he wants to enjoy the rest of his life. Career earnings and all of the money he can make on appearances since everyone loves his personality, the dude is set with steady income for a long time.
He's the goat TE. Best ever. Whats his option? Come to the Bucs who are floundering?
Had they been like 14-1 or 12-3 or such he would likely have. Not now.
Just scroll passed it. It takes way less energy than trying to convince however many people are in this sub not to post w/e. Your life will improve if you do.
It makes sense to me. Best resume’ he could ever hope to have, probably the best he has felt body wise in years, and now he has a pretty laid back job on TV. What would be the point?
Winning that’s why Tom still plays.
I would wager a significant sum that Gronkowski and Brady view life quite differently.
Gronk shotguns wheat beers and Tom shotguns wheat grass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDxU4bGYE-k
Gronk is a golden retriever trapped in human form though so let's not rule out that he might just be motivated to "get the ball"
Brady must be the soul of the Lombardi trophy trapped in human form trying to reunite with its body.
so brady is the broken spirit form of voldemort and the lombardi is a horcrux...
After Dan Marino retired without winning any Super Bowls (the year before Tom Brady entered the league), a black magic curse was placed on the Dolphins. The spirit of all future Miami QB's was split into 10 horcruxes and each placed inside of an individual Lombardi trophy. The rebellion fought back though, a hero was anointed to find the 10 horcruxes. He was placed into a super secret government training program (Codename: TB12). Now that he has unlocked 7 of the horcruxes, you can see some of the spirit has returned to Miami QB's. The missing 3 are still endlessly dragging them down though. So, Tom Brady continues tirelessly on his quest.
Well now you have made me want Tom Brady to win more super bowls, so thanks for that
I like how you had to up the horcrux list to 10 because he already has 7, 8 is not inconceivable, and 7 ate 9.
Hmm can we somehow tie this into the plot from the first Ace Ventura movie?
"One football LACES OUT, one toenail from an NFL coach infected with gout..." There is a whole backstory as to how Rex Ryan was able to rise as far as he did but I digress. If I go any further, I'll give away the full incantation they used. Ace Ventura is actually a documentary of the events that took place after the people who originally put out a voodoo curse on the Dolphins found out about Tom Brady's chase for the horcruxes. Their plan at that point was to murder Dan Marino because they saw through visions that specific event would alter the timeline enough to ensure Tom Brady never succeeded. The reason why Ace Ventura 2 is so seemingly unrelated is because that whole movie actually would be more of a prequel. It is more of a documentary focused on how the bad guys found the witch doctors to put the curse on the Dolphins.
... there is some kind of new sports-based Harry Potter spinoff in there, I can feel it
Or he's a guy that really, really loves playing football, almost as much as he hates to lose.
Brady is a border collie or one of those other crazy working breeds
The accuracy of this comment.
I think if Brady took the physical contact Gronk took he would’ve retired too. Tom Brady’s longevity is due to his incredibly smart play style. There is simply no equivalent of that at the TE position. QB and K/P are the only positions where you could potentially have the type of longevity Brady’s had. Edit: even if there was some smart equivalent of Brady’s style for the TE it sure as shit wasn’t what Gronk was doing.
Jerry rice is the WR equivalent and he played in a pretty brutal era for receivers
Yes but that doesn’t count because Jerry Rice is physically impossible
Tom Brady is literally built different. Mans gave up everything to get a third HoF worthy career. I doubt Gronk or anyone else for that matter will go that far.
bro is ronaldo
Listen - I hate Brady as much as everyone else that’s not a Bucks or Patriots fan but don’t compare Ronaldo to Brady as far as legacy goes. This World Cup & failed season at ManU completely exposed how terrible Ronaldo has become whereas Brady can still win games with clutch plays.
Think Ronaldo last season. That is comparable to Brady.. Shit team, but still clutching a few hattricks and carrying the team. Basically Brady this season
But he’s already won. Why risk your health to win *more*?
His under dog mentality. In his interview with Peyton in Peyton’s place he sort of gives it away. He said he didn’t have a really big shot because he was a sixth round pick compared to a first round qb who gets more chances. He talked about having to prove himself because he knew his job was able to be taken from him how he took Bledsoes. he wanted to comeback in 2008 in season after his acl tear because he saw rivers do the same for the championship game.
I was talking about Gronk. Obviously Brady has major issues he needs to figure out.
I love Brady. Huge fan. Own several TB12 items of clothing. Even I admit the guy is damaged. He gave up his marriage for like another year with the Bucs.
his marriage was already on the rocks if his wife is already vacationing with her personal trainers lol
TBF Brady probably vacations with his personal trainers too. When you make that much money and your body is your job…
Okay well combine that with the report that Gisele wasnt getting enough dick from tb12 and its safe to assume her vacations arent for portable juijitsu. At least the pg13 version of juijitsu
Jiu Dicksu
He most likely didn't give up his marriage. This is the stupidest narrative that keeps getting repeated I can't believe you guys actually fall for it. Marriages take a very long time to end usually
Bizarrely, today I read a quotation from Nixon of all people that seems to describe a mentality similar to Brady's. >What starts the process, really, are the laughs and snubs and slights you get when you are a kid. Sometimes, it's because you're poor or Irish or Jewish or Catholic or ugly or simply that you are skinny. But if you are reasonably intelligent and if your anger is deep enough and strong enough, you learn that you can change those attitudes by excellence, personal gut performance, while those who have everything are sitting on their fat butts.... But once you learn that you've got to work harder than everybody else, it becomes a way of life as you move out of the alley and on your way. In your own mind you have nothing to lose, so you take plenty of chances and if you do your homework many of them pay off. It is then that you understand, for the first time, that you have the advantage because your competitors can't risk what they have already. It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it because it is a part of you and you need it as much as you can do an arm or a leg. So you are lean and mean and resourceful and you continue to walk on the edge of the precipice because over the years you have become fascinated by how close to the edge you can walk without losing your balance.
Wow describes nixon and brady to a T
Which nixon man there’s a million of em
Definitely talking about Trot Nixon 🙄
Checkers
If you're the right personality you can always find something you want to prove.
Tom plays because he's an addict. He doesn't need the money, the fame or the accolades. It cost him his marriage. Sounds like an addict to me.
Tom is no different than the workaholic corporate father. He's quite literally addicted to the grind.
Well Tom is a genetic freak and he's not normal
Tbh so is Gronk, he's just a genetic freak being held together by metal rods.
Play backgammon online. Problem solved
Nah if anything he’ll start to develop a gambling thing like Jordan.
Not every one is like Tom
Not to mention all that sweet sweet USAA money.
They offer him everything he could want - except the thing he yearns for most...
I just wish he'd come back to WWE. He won the title in like his first match.
Wow he must have amazing wrestling skills.
The people want Gronk vs Logan Paul
Wasn't this the situation last time tho?
Tom Brady left on *Read*
He saw the text, but then he also saw the Bucs play
He didn’t write back
seeing that live was legendary, man I love Geno Smith
He replied : just let me know where we are going to win next year. I’ll even help you move!
He left a thumbs up
That hit he took directly to the ribs last year vs the Rams basically sent him into retirement
Was about to say this, that hit broke a couple of his ribs and he was still playing till the end. Don’t blame him for hanging it up for years at a time if he doesn’t want to take that kind of punishment
His upright running / catching style has lead him to take some brutal, brutal hits. He's really got the miles on his tires.
Plus the fact that he was such a tank he wasn't going down unless the defender attempted to murder him.
Aaron Hernandez in shambles
Literally by now
*led not lead
He had back surgery in college, that's why his draft stock fell. When he's healthy everyone knew he'd be good, but I guess they didn't realize how much he worked at getting back on the field
Turns out when it hurts every breath, football is less fun.
He's working on stealing someone's identity so he can get USAA
Busted
Special.
[удалено]
You just applied and got it?
I’d give him my membership if it meant it would stop the commercials
Better off to stay retired and get that commercial money
[удалено]
If he wants it that bad, he can marry me.
Damn so Brady’s pitch failed.
Why do you build me up, buttercup baby just to let me down
Mess Gronk around and then worst of all
Ohhh but you can keep trying though!
Man, I'm hoping he stops his career in commercials, he's *unwatchable*.
He really strikes me as being more of a beer and junk food advertisements kind of guy. It is a more natural fit for his meathead demeanor.
Hey his Subway work is much more believable than the USAA commercials. I can buy into an athlete loving it.
> I can buy into an athlete loving it. Happy Gilmore sure does!
He needs a different brand. Like Corona or Fritos lol Not military banking
My theory is that USAA got so tired of civilian members calling, they had to make commercials in such a way that makes it look like Gronk has early onset dementia.
They could just not advertise every time a football game is played?
[Bring back the Dunkin Donuts ads](https://i.imgur.com/1yJLcBm.jpg)
But he’s special
Didn’t he just ask to join the buccs like 2 months ago because he was bored?
People call their ex and regret it all the time.
Lol I feel like he called Brady and Brady told him to wait until next season when they’d have a real chance on a new team
It was during this last offseason: "No Gronk, just wait for me to slip into Miami"
Nah he’s just trolling on social media. Just at his IG, he looks significantly smaller than his football shape
I don’t think it’ll be that tough for Gronk to get back into football physique. I just don’t think he wants to, which idk why he would want to go back
Right but this whole “I’m bored fuck it I’ll go play next Sunday for the Bucs” is a cope dream
[удалено]
Has there been a major misunderstanding because of social media and punctuation yet? It'll happen eventually - Patrick Mahomes: 'I'm officially resigning.' sadface chiefsfans, NOOOOOO! 'Ooops, I meant re-signing!'
Pretty sure that was 2 days ago lmao
Watching Tom and Buccs the past few months has really changed his mind
so his weed is working…good to know
Likely playing with Tom or on the Pats as his two "coming back" scenarios and saw how they are both performing as was like "yeah I'm good."
Maybe he'll go back when Brady joins the 9ers and he can just block or play opposite of Kittle.
If it would keep him from making any more awful USAA commercials then I'd support his return to the NFL.
[удалено]
If you're hearing or seeing his wife or brother then you're actively searching them out just so you can be angry about it. I couldn't even tell you what either sounds like and I couldn't pick his brother out of a crowd. I like Gronk, but those commercials are awful.
Apparently I'm the only one who enjoys his USAA commercials...
He's a fun personality on pregame shows and stuff, but giving him a script and lines and wanting him to act at all is just awful. Also, the "joke" of the commercials that he wants USAA but can't have it is kinda dumb and not really funny. I'd put most the blame on whoever created them really, but either way, just awful.
I like dumb and awful stuff though
We always hear from Gronk this time of year whether he's playing football or not.
Why would he want to go back? He can just continue making money & honing his craft as a fantastic actor
Brady looking at this like 😐
I doubt he could, looks like he lost too much weight
Lost his football pants. Nice goin mom
Clearly he’s having too much fun making TV commercials.
Can’t party if his back gets anymore fucked up. Im sure he wants to enjoy the rest of his life. Career earnings and all of the money he can make on appearances since everyone loves his personality, the dude is set with steady income for a long time.
Can’t wait to hear what he thinks about this once again next week.
not an itch, more like a mysterious discharge
He's the goat TE. Best ever. Whats his option? Come to the Bucs who are floundering? Had they been like 14-1 or 12-3 or such he would likely have. Not now.
Kelce is better.
Prime Gronk wouldn’t make that Bucs team much better, let alone military insurance commercial Gronk.
Oo me! Pick me!
Am I the only one who wants Gronk to come back as a sideline reporter?
Tre White better watch out if that happens.
can this fucker just go away?
Instead I will just tweet cryptic tweets to keep myself relevant
Can r/nfl please stop caring about the daily musings of Gronk?
Just scroll passed it. It takes way less energy than trying to convince however many people are in this sub not to post w/e. Your life will improve if you do.
"the eagles lost last week so I'm not interested any more" I kid lol but it's possible right?
he didn’t write back..
Did you now there s a Gronk flavored Monster? I saw it in the latest William Osman video. What does Gronk even taste like?
Ask Bibi Jones
He’s too busy trying to cheat military veterans.
??????
Until Stephen Ross throws the bag at him and TB12.
But I do have an itch for people to pay attention to me.
He should come back to play for the good guys for one last playoff push.
69
Meanwhile Tom Brady: “I don’t have an Itch to go back to family, you know?”
No joke about itchy balls? Is this Reddit?
Homeboys already a 1st ballot. One of the greatest TEs ever. Wish he could’ve stayed healthy longer.
Fast forward to 2023, Gronk is back with Tom in New Orleans
pain.
His living his best life as a Nick elf and idiot USAA thirster
Quit giving me blue balls, Gronk.
I wish he didn't have an itch to go back to USAA
Man the T-Mobile commercial with Brady and Gronk was so funny. And now it may be true again