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Long-Introduction883

Cowboys Defense held up really well. Offense couldn’t pull through


BadKneesBadHeart

Rush played better than Dak lmao


R-ZoroKingOFHell

Wow the Cowboys season is over with Dak out for half the season lol


joshwaynebobbit

It looked over with Dak in the game


DatSlattSlimeBooBong

“👋😊Hi, Derek Carr🚙 here. I just learned how to play an 🎹instrument using my 🤪tongue. This whole offseason I decided to take psychedelics with my 👨‍👧Daddy Aaron Rodgers in 🇵🇪Peru, and talk to the 🎭DMT jesters. They told me I should focus on my 🎤🎧SoundCloud beat side hustle, so I can buy out the 🛩New York Jets before 📲💰Gary V! With this 👑ultimate power, comes great 🎖responsibility! And that’s why I came to the conclusion: that I should throw 🏈three interceptions per game so I can appease the 🎭DMT Jesters, focus on my 🎤🎧SoundCloud beat making side hustle, and 😉🍆✊💦jack off Mark Davis’s fine 🦁ginger hair strands. With this in mind, I hope the 💀🏴‍☠️Raiders can me mid season for Terrelle Pryor. Thanks🥰 - Love, Derek Carr”


Socalsamuel

Wtf


SavannahGuthriesLips

Hey, at least Zeke has a cool helmet


Zeediddy2883

Jimmy G to the Cowboys?


fuck-idfk

I thought Jimmy G had a no trade clause in his new contract.


Guiltyjerk

He can waive it for whichever team he wants though


fuck-idfk

But is he really gonna agree to go to Dallas? I don’t see it tbh but who knows


Guiltyjerk

That wasn't what you asked But I'd imagine not because that team is a disaster currently.


AdministrativeCar677

I mean he's gonna be harder to get after that Trey Lance performance today (edit) Not trying to shit on this kid and say he did terribly, just saying he hasn't had a good game yet and regardless of the weather, this game didn't change that. It makes sense to have a mentor and reliable back up in Jimmy G with where Lance is at in his development.


13angrymonkeys

You did see the weather conditions in Chicago today, yes?


pasionfruit96

You know it’s real when Seahawks fans are defending forty niners. Keepin it real


mrbkkt1

Yeah... playing in wet socks.. sucks the most. Some rain is cool. So damn hot in the uniform. That it feels good. Once the field becomes a puddle though, then it sucks. Not sure who does drainage for soldier field, but they need to he fired. Worse is the chiefs kicker slipping at Arizona. I mean seriously. How does that happen?


inoahguy98

He didn’t even do that bad, the fuck?


hokagesarada

he was literally playing in extreme weather goddamn they want trey to lose so bad Cowboys have no excuse


AdministrativeCar677

I don't even hate Trey Lance and our season is kind of a wash this year so hating on him wouldn't even make sense. He just hasn't shown anything yet. Again everyone going crazy but I'm not trying to shit on the kid I just think the niners may want to wait and see him have some good games first?


AdministrativeCar677

Dude he had a 46% completion percentage with a pick and only 164 yards. He was in fact pretty bad. I'm not saying it was a disaster, just bad.


upwurdz

Exactly. Justin Fields played in the same conditions and made the necessary throws when needed


DangerSparky

Did you watch the game? Or just check stats? The weather was absolutely horrible. To be able to even throw a ball in that is amazing.


inoahguy98

Also played in a fucking monsoon


AdministrativeCar677

Ok dude I'm really not trying to argue about Lance being terrible or not, I just think with where he's at right now they might want to hold on to Jimmy G for a bit. We'll see next week. Trey Lance is just pretty raw still.


DolphinMassacre

Jesus, Jerry might do it


Zeediddy2883

Probably should look into it if Dak is out for multiple weeks. He needs surgery. Go get Jimmy G


DolphinMassacre

Better than Rush/Grier/U/Me!


JimmyPellen

Don't discount my gramma. Let me go get a shovel.


PurficPourBY

Dak out multiple weeks w surgery.... Quinn ewers out at least till the OU game. Holy fuck man I waited 7 months for football season to get my heart ripped out in 2 days. God hates me


yellowcats

welcome to the 2008 patriots season. Hopefully you will have the same successes (11-5) without the ludicrous failures (missed the playoffs)


NeverBeen_OnAPlaneB4

At least UT went up in the rankings.


jlt6666

At least you're not a browns fan?


kayne2000

Well God did make you a cowboys fan so....


PurficPourBY

That was my dad I was born 1 month after the last superbowl so I always heard about the good ol days, but my first QB I remember was Quincy carter


TiswitGee

So God warned you and you didn't listen? You got what you deserve.


beforethewind

I want to see Dallas suffer, but not like this. I’m sorry dude.


Mahu6

Y’all were gonna win the division either way shit was mad ugly


Chase_Ramone

Not everyone was fortunate enough to start the season against the Lions. Tampa is a SB ready team.


ducvette

That was a turd…Dallas forgot the season started today for them and with Prescott out looks like it may already be over


ABARK94

May I interest you in one Mason Rudolph in exchange for absolutely any OL player?


PancakeMain10

We will trade y’all Terence Steele for him.


BruceLeeroy22

I don’t think we have any you want for that return.


ABARK94

We have Kendrick Green in our roster, I am sure you do lol


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phildoshaggins

Parsons still looks the part but can't do it himself, Osa is playing well again, Vander Esch can still move but at times looks lost and doesn't seek contact like you want from your MLB. Bohanna had some plays he looked like a big man, and some he looked like a fat kid.


SCClemson

i'll never get over the owner of the team doing a post game presser after a regular season loss like jerry does.


neededtowrite

Are you tuning into his radio shows too??


Guiltyjerk

He literally chased down a camera man and dragged him over to make sure he got a shot of him going arm-in-arm with his players for the anthem back in 2017. He's a remarkable narcissistic even by NFL owner standards


Mediocre_Produce_432

The Dallas +2 did not age well


DolphinMassacre

I never thought the total points would be 22, not to mention under 31


mechanicallysound34

Dak broke his thumb…


Practice_Girls

That’s a 40 million dollar thumb.


HenchBandicoot

The one thing to look for on older QBs is their ass. When that goes missing that’s when you know it’s over. Do your squats, fellas


neededtowrite

Truest thing i've heard in this thread. You could break a thumb off in there


Mahu6

Who y’all talking bout😂


wise_comment

Urban Meyer


PapiGoneGamer

My dad just called me and said, “same shit, new year” in regards to his beloved Cowboys. He’s still salty about Jerruh firing Jimmy.


AdministrativeCar677

Damn he couldn't get you to be a cowboys fan huh?


Chase_Ramone

He prob didn’t grow up with a successful Dallas franchise. It has been awhile. This how the Houston Texans franchise grew. The last 25 years haven’t been fun for Dallas


PapiGoneGamer

Nope.


neededtowrite

Look at this Texas traitor


maveriq

He's a true Texan


ortizm74

Why does Tom Brady look like Captain America BEFORE he got that serum? #WTFTom


cerevant

He’s a Skrull.


neededtowrite

Dude, TB is with Giselle, he can do what he wants Hate that motherfucker


ortizm74

I let the beer get to me. LMAO


neededtowrite

Guilty


echo138

Because hes about to get that serum and play for another 23 years.


ortizm74

LOL


UBI_when

Tom Brady is chapter 1, verse 1 of "How to spot a midlife crisis".


wise_comment

Chapter 1 Verse 1 of Revelations


ionmushroom

classic nfc east. PHI, NY, WAS all win. DAL loses and by end of season cowboy are in the playoffs with a sub 500 record


Mahu6

Not this year, everyone but my cowboys gonna be a lot better


Guiltyjerk

I wonder if Brady wishes he got less sun the past few years... that skin's gotta hold up for him for another 40+ years


Acheron13

He thinks drinking water prevents sunburns.


[deleted]

Are we in a position to call him a fucking liar?


Guiltyjerk

Oh I forgot about that Yikes.


GiveMeSomeIhedigbo

"Lou Rawls, I mean Chris Collinsworth"


racksonthesediamonds

Wow dak broke his thumb or some shit


BigSprinkler

Let mike mcarthy suit up next week, Dude can’t even run a 5 yard dash


dr_kavorka

for some reason 5 yard dash really got me, thanks for that one.


phildoshaggins

THE ONLY DASH MCCARTHY KNOWS IS MRS DASH SOUTHWEST CHIPOTLE SEASONING BLEND.


GiveMeSomeIhedigbo

Also DoorDash


Drs126

Tom Brady was going into his second year in the NFL on 9/11/2001


r2pleasent

He outlasted the Queen


bgva

I had low expectations about this game but shit. I thought they at least get a touchdown. It’s only week 1 but I might have a few free Sundays at this rate.


Jcapen87

I’m convinced Tom Brady is still retired (possibly dead) and this is some sort of freakish clone made in a lab. He was gone so that the geneticists could get what they needed from him. The fight with Giselle was basically her being upset that he would sacrifice his life so that his doppelgänger could play in perpetuity and win 35 rings


schistkicker

You might be on to something. Compare 45 year old Brady vs late 30s YA Tittle or Kenny Stabler.


SCClemson

Kenny stabler looks like he's a chain smoking tradesman in his 50s in those pictures of him in his late 30s with the saints.


adnanistheogfam

Tom Brady with that fit tea and Botox diet


Zodiac4v2

Yo that’s not Tom. Someone made a knock off clone of him.


Satuza69

still got something to prove


JoeyBigBoy

Brady looks skinny


MisterPunchRockgroin

Thinner! Thhhiinnnnerrr!


wafflehauss

Was it just the mic? Brady sounded normal as he was walking away


baba_booey420_

Maybe the sound crew had to adjust some levels to compensate for Cris Collinsworth's super low sick voice and forgot to switch it back?? lol...


wafflehauss

You’re probably right.


One_Suggestion5847

45 years old, easy win opening week "Yeah I gotta get better" lol k


mightytwin21

A dead cat could win with that receiving corp


[deleted]

He looks really skinny


Nach0Man_RandySavage

The only reason im still watching is the remote is missing and im siding in one of those ikea chairs thats hard to get out of.


HenchBandicoot

We’ve all been there.


pinkeye_bingo

Imagine paying money to go see that in person?


sourwitholives

It's insane that some of tom brady's teammates weren't even born yet when he started his 1st season in the nfl


marvelfanhere

Buccaneers defense looks elite ngl


ProbablyAPun

Tom is so skinny now, like what's happening


thorjustice1

I said the same thing watching that interview. First time I really saw him and said, “wow, he actually looks old now.”


chavery17

he got another plastic surgery that week he was out


BigSprinkler

“Everybody ran away with that” Def intentional wording


MisterPunchRockgroin

He's going to get these questions every game lol


f00kinlegend

brady sound like a 12 year old


closevo

Give Brady sandwich sheesh


[deleted]

Chicks asking some good Q


mylesA747

she’s new too


specialvillain

Lmao it's kind of hard to grasp how big of a star Tom Brady is. Players seem genuinely so happy for the opportunity to lose against him.


eyeball-papercut

so weird. He hands them their ass and the Cowboys players are all running up to him after the game, all cheesin' n shit. Giggling, total fanboys.


LifterPuller

Did Tom just call it the "red area" instead of red zone?


Clawsickle

there was a head coach who got fired and he called it the white zone.


Porkenfries

That's why he got fired. The white zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers only. There's no stopping in the red zone.


ESYAJ

the red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. there is no stopping in a white zone.


leecmyd

Hah, what a n00b!


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Mk62013

Ah memories....


peakpointhelmet

I remember the post-game interview with Brett Favre on MNF after he beat the Packers after turning 40 and he seemed so much older than Tom Brady then lol


wafflehauss

Brady sounds a decade older than last season


ZombieePanda

Brady’s beard color showing his age.


racksonthesediamonds

Brady’s voice sounds high?


tripl3troubl3

Dak & Kyler are not the guys and never will be.


Clawsickle

Shush. dont tell anyone. Ive got bets to win.


Shurglife

Either is Geno


tripl3troubl3

We know


Shurglife

Wow this aged poorly but favorably for hawk bros


Shurglife

😬


PapiGoneGamer

There were people that seriously thought Prescott/Murray was going to be as big of a matchup as Brady/Manning


SCClemson

If he was willing to be a backup and his wife was fine with it could brady play till he's 50? I truly belive it.


ProbablyAPun

Dude, look at the talent of some back ups in the league. He could probably be a decent back up, with a severe risk of injury into his mid 50s for sure.


SCClemson

Would there be a better mentor/ QB coach than an old tom brady? Big game and need a spot starter in the post season. Give me a 50 year old brady.


IceHorse69

Backup to Fitzmagic


Victory1871

What a lovely evening


sreuas

Brady looks like a skeleton


Clawsickle

yeah , i was about to say.. Looked like a friend I had last year who died.


sreuas

RIP to your friend brother


BookieBustersPodcast

Brady got that vocal chord surgery 😭😭 that’s what the 11 days were for


MinnesotaMiller

Why his voice sound different?


youhungryicouldeat

New model.


DaddyDog92

I thought it was just me


mylesA747

ikr?


maveriq

That leather dress is hot


adnanistheogfam

Opinion: Dak Prescott’s contract is going to haunt Jerry Jones until he Fucking croaks


kingblade3

cant hurt more than zeke "20lbs heavier each offseason" elliotts contract


adnanistheogfam

This man loves giving massive contracts to average players with little to no post season success


Ops135

Oh thank you lord it's over


youhungryicouldeat

Ask him about Giselle. I dare you Oh shit - she sorta did!


breakourbones

#I have watched 10 and a half hours of football today. FOOTBALL IS BACK, BABY!


phildoshaggins

I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS AND MY COUCH IS ATTACHED TO MY THIGHS, IS THIS A YELLING THREAD? I DON'T KNOW! WOO! FOOTBALL! edit: PLEASE CALL AN AMBULANCE


longjia97

Tom Brady really does sound like a 45 year old dad now


[deleted]

Dismantle the franchise. Every Cowboy should hang their head low and walk out the stadium and accept spitballs and boos coming their way. Hang your head low, do not pass GO, do not collect one fucking penny. I really believe I could have coached that team better today. Abysmal


echo138

To be fair, its week 1, you have no WRs not named Lamb and your O-line is dealing with multiple injuries. Add that to the fact that I think you faced a very good defense and I wouldn't be upset with the L. The score sucked but as long as Dak is okay and you get Gallup back soon enough you're in a division that you can still easily win. I wouldn't blow the team up just yet.


eyeball-papercut

...about Dak being ok, I have news...


echo138

How long is he out? Maybe Jimmy G finds a home in Dallas for this season?


PancakeMain10

Dak has become a liability - A Cowboys fan Edit: spelling


echo138

That's rough. Hopefully it's a quick recovery.


ActNaturally

Reports are that Dak has a torn Labia. Hate to see that, hope he rests up


BigSprinkler

Y’all said the same about Tony. I wish you another ten years of mediocrity


ActNaturally

Mediocrity would be an improvement for you guys!


Jcapen87

Middle class fan bumping into TB in public: holy shit I just met Tom Brady Millionaire professional athlete: holy shit I just met Tom Brady


lovekidneystones

Let's destroy the Saints next week


hdl1234565

Statistically doesn’t happen like that in regular season


Comfortable-State134

I'm a Bucs fan but your response was still funny


lovekidneystones

I know, but if Brady lost next week, Saints is the only team with winning records against Brady. I hope that doesn't happen.


nickfultz

That was awful


Clubtropper

Personally, I loved it


FL3MING

Didn’t you all struggle with the lions today ?


nickfultz

You would have rather watched that as fan of neither team trust me


_writes

That bad?


JMFB123

No you


Modsareass

This was pretty dominant. Tampa is the better team but they reallyyyy showed it.


phildoshaggins

NFL trying to appeal to other markets is almost as cringey as watching McCarthy coach a football team.


GreenLantern28145

Arguably Palpatines biggest mistake was phasing out the clones so goes without saying Jerrys biggest mistake was firing Jimmy Johnson.


adnanistheogfam

Complete ego move. Fuck Jerry Jones, but as a giants fan bless up 🙏🙏🙏


JMFB123

What?


Satuza69

they just wanna meet him lmfaooooo


Agent2027

Being a 30 yo cowboys fan ruined the NFL for me every year same shit sickening.


GrannysPartyMerkin

Haha no sympathy for cowboys fans ever