T O P
RedFredTV

> Tom Brady is fine and the team is on board with his reasons for being absent. But it'll be a little bit before he's back.


Daver7692

The way that reads makes it seem like it’s more likely a personal issue than a sporting one.


redditadmindumb87

If I was the HC of Tom Brady Id take whatever excuse he gave me


diablosinmusica

Considering many of the current coaches are former players who Brady has beaten regularly, he can probably just bully them into doing whatever he wants.


junkit33

It's always funny to think about Byron Leftwich trying to tell Tom Brady something he doesn't already know. Byron: "Yeah hey Tom on that last play I think your arm..." Brady: "yeah my fucking arm fired off incorrectly by 2 degrees and I misplaced the ball by 3 inches because of it I'm well fucking aware thank you very much".


diablosinmusica

I could see it as Leftwich asking Brady for advice.


CT9669

“Help me, help you”


SuperVaderMinion

Help me, help you.....help me


Flylikeamagiccarpet

Yea the thought of Byron Leftwich coaching Brady is still weird


Thundergun1864

It's weird because Tom beat him in the playoffs by the score of 28-3, why does that score line + Tom Brady seem so familiar 🤔


arch_angel_samael

Sorry but there's no way a team is coming back from a 28-3 defecit, ESPECIALLY if it's a post season game.


chronicallybefuddled

No team would EVER blow that lead on the biggest stage


Quantum_Ibis

I saw that pity TD late in the third quarter, and they even missed the extra point lmao Turned it off after 28-9, what a joke of a Super Bowl


gallarian-meowth

Leftwich also has a comically long wind up for his throws. “Alright Tom, you’re gonna wanna crank your shoulder super low to get more leverage on your spiral”


Yolectroda

Just some details to fill this in for Bowles: Brady obviously never beat him as a player, but Brady is 8-1 against him as a head coach. An interesting (at least to me) connection, Bowles's first NFL coaching job (secondaries coach on the Jets) was Tom Brady's rookie season (Jets won both games, but Brady was inactive).


Zoollio

Them and most of the league, usually.


whydontyouloveme

Especially first year head coach. “Get your ass back here, Tom!!” “Fuck you, I can just retweet my post from February, motherfucker.”


HylianPikachu

I mean Bowles was the HC of the Jets for 4 years, so I think it's more along the lines of “Get your ass back here, Tom!!” “I'm 7-1 against you in the regular season, motherfucker.”


PoorlyLitKiwi2

If Tom wanted to be particular savage he could add: "But I've gotta hand it to you coach, I never once beat you in the playoffs" haha


Yolectroda

8-1, actually. Bowles was interim coach for 3 games in Miami, and beat the Bills and Jets, but lost to the Pats.


DireSickFish

Lazers in your brain you say? Take all the time you need.


Infected_Pretensile

“Hey coach. It’s Thursday so no dice on practice. See you Monday maybe!”


FansRuinTheSport

He's also Tom Brady and is 45 years old. If he needs a day off every so often, you give him the day off and move on.


whobroughtmehere

He’s just getting his oil changed and his lines flushed


d_locke

Nah, he's recharging at Hertz (or whichever rental car place he does commercials for).


Landlubber77

*Let's go* Those pussies at Hertz should've gone with the full LFG. They'd lose a few customers sure, but they'd more than make up for it.


7tenths

Has anyone seen Jimmy g? Looks like Brady needs a top up


craaazytrain

He shouldn’t be taking advice from Watson


Key-Owl-8142

correction- 45 years young !


Xxfly_guyxX

It might be related to his parents


Birds-aint-real-

Miami sent him another offer he has to check out.


just-the-tip__

Those meetings with father time becoming more frequent these days 👀


cth777

Feel like it might be related to his clothing line or some other product branding thing.


diablosinmusica

Iirc he was working on his clothing line during the playoffs last year?


Cheeze187

It's Tom Brady, it doesn't matter what it is.


JPC-Throwaway

Hate speculating but his mother was quite sick a few years ago right? And he also mentioned almost getting a divorce at one point too right?


privateD4L

I love how everyone on here who says they hate speculating or don’t want to speculate goes on to speculate anyway.


OddGib

No offense, but... (offensive statement)


StrongmanScrubs

I’m not racist but….(Italians are loud and I’ve had enough of it)


finglonger1077

No disrespect but how dare you?


attilayavuzer

"He just went out to get cigarettes"


Repo_co

His mom was very sick with cancer a few years back, really hoping that this isn't a recurrence...


needtocalmdown

He has a dentist appointment and is going to show up to the lunch room later with McDonalds.


SiphenPrax

Used to love going to McDonalds or Burger King after the dentist when I was a kid


Dischucker

Always was a huge flex bringing it into the lunch room


ArcanePudding

Cue 15 kids you barely know “bro come on let me at least get a fry”


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Televisi0n_Man

What school did you go to


RedDragons8

Lets use the power of deduction, where is your mom from?


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[deleted]

Your momma so ugly your dad brings her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.


slice29

Public school.


_tx

I guess I didn't realize how much of a common memory that is. Brings me back to those shitty circle chairs on the big rectangle tables which I'm sure are way smaller in reality than I remember them being from my childhood memories.


FlightB52

I’d always beg my mom to let me take the rest of the day off even though the appointment was done by like 10am lol


NicklAAAAs

Our friend group kinda soured on bringing in McDs because one kid’s mom worked as the recess attendant and would bring it to him 2-3 times a week. Then he’d brag about collecting all of the happy meal toys.


ardrarian

I mean if it makes you feel any better, he probably died of a heart attack at 13


diablosinmusica

Nothing like leaving the dentist to get a milkshake.


Exploding_dude

Ooh look at all the rich kids, going to the dentist.


B0ndzai

Always amazed when I hear kids had morning dentist appts. I always got my parents to schedule that shit at like 1pm so I didn't have to go back to school.


Immynimmy

I literally only schedule life stuff in the afternoon. Easy way to basically get out of work early. Plus I don’t have to wake up earlier than I would have to either.


NoHugsAmCactus

I schedule it at 9am and still take the whole day off. Yes, I'm a slacker.


Immynimmy

Lmao I wish I had the balls to do this. Unfortunately I have like 5-10 calls/day with my clients


NoHugsAmCactus

My work gives us a sperate PTO balance for dedicated sick time, sick time can be used for doctor's appointments and it racks up fast. Being young and healthy I tend to take full advantage when I get an excuse to dip into that sick time balance. My work spoils us in terms of time off.


B0ndzai

Exactly


BellacosePlayer

>I always got my parents to schedule that shit at like 1pm so I didn't have to go back to school. More than a few times when my mom would drop me off at school after an appt, I'd wait for her to drive away and then just walk back home and enjoy the half day off lol. It's a wonder I graduated college given how much bullshit hooky I played in K12.


Warsawawa

> just walk back home and enjoy the half day off lol. Yep. Given my last class was AP Calculus, it made for an easy decision


[deleted]

I got lucky one year and had a free period assigned to late Friday and my only class after was PE. You bet I left early more than a few times


piranhamahalo

My freshman year they let the seniors leave campus for lunch and have free periods - by *my* senior year so many school shootings had happened around the country that they locked us in for the whole day and had gotten rid of free periods. Great times.


[deleted]

Was this recent cause I still had those in 2018


MammothTap

I wish that had been my last class. First period calc AB... at 7:25 am. That was a special kind of hell. And then second period was AP English 3, third period AP US History, fourth period AP Physics. Fifth through seventh period was all my electives. Junior year *sucked*, just jam all the hard classes in the morning after cross country practice at 5am. At least that was my last year of high school (early graduation) because I don't think I could have taken another year of that.


DrDankDankDank

He’s going to see his dentist, whose name is Crentist.


DYC85

Crentist is an apprentice dentist though, what is Tom Brady hiding?


WiredSky

Deflated tanks of laughing gas.


Immynimmy

Bowles to Brady: “want an M&M?”


littlestevebrule

Bowles walks up to Brady with a bag of M&Ms


mgr86

Idk why I read that as show up with McDaniels


PoorlyLitKiwi2

"Tom is currently having all of Kyle Trask's organs and blood transferred to him so he can prolong his life and health by another 200 years. Just your typical offseason cleanup surgery" Edit: To be clear, I hope Tom and everyone in his family is ok. Didn't mean to make light of what could potentially be a serious situation. Hopefully we see him back soon and all is well


headrush46n2

Every friday night, Tom Brady undergoes a series of medical procedures that lets him cheat death another week.


deagle746

Lol I bring you peace.


TheCrookedKnight

It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!


bakerton

BREAK IT'S LEGS!


slapspatula

He has a sweet, heavenly voice; like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night; like Urkel!


merchantsmutual

Ugh Homer why don't you tell us what happened AFTER you left the bar?


EarthTraveler413

Media: "haha what a funny joke" Bowles: "...yeah hahaha it's a joke! i'm joking! heh. heh..."


_tx

Doesn't everyone have a blood boy these days?


SiiLv3Rx

A blood boy and a fall guy. 2 requirements


ianisymfs

Bradys fall guy, Aaron Hernandez.


Pisspot10

Witness him!


bpi89

Everyone needs a blood boy.


BellacosePlayer

**Do not, my friends, become addicted to Superbowl wins. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!**


solocupknupp

Gronk comes back out of retirement again to catch one last TD in the Superbowl from Brady before tearing every ligament in his body: Gronk: "WITNESS ME!"


BellacosePlayer

\*A band of pale scarred boys go riding past in a rusted out musclecar while screaming and huffing paint, not because of any Mad Max reference, but because it is Florida\*


bakerton

When we devolve into the "suck dick and kill for gasoline" stage of humanity Floridians are really going to have a leg up on the rest of us.


BellacosePlayer

They're ahead of the curve man. While you and I bitch about gas hikes, they're out there polishing their gimp suits and lifting their Mustangs and adding spikes to them.


ElYoungMijo

*Tom Brady points to the rookie offensive lineman during an audible* Rookie OL: " He looked at me!" Veteran OL: "He was scanning the coverage!" Rookie OL: "I'm awaited in Valhalla!!!" *Rips off helmet*


Mrred1

Gronk: "WITNESS ME!" Final score: Bills 48, Bucs 7


DYC85

Strap my blood bag to Jensen’s back Todd!


Inforcer41

I want an artist to depict this lol


DYC85

Kyle trask upside down strapped to Jensen with a cage on his face and Tom Brady spraying chrome on his face as he’s about to snap the ball. WIIITNEEEESSSSSSSS


farts_in_the_breeze

WITNESS!


TeddysBigStick

For the trophy shiny and chrome.


davidlovepandles

You got where you are by challenging sensibilities


OddGib

It's the new fall guy.


Suddenly_Something

Tom had to move his vampire painting to a more secure location.


Scoob1978

Unlikely, we know from his cameo in Living with Yourself how he does it.


PoorlyLitKiwi2

Lol that cameo was amazing. He is like the only person in the world who could pull that joke off


abwchris

Tom went and found that "angel" from Midnight Mass.


Key-Owl-8142

he is a vampire lol


DonsDiaperIsFull

yeah but this breed is called "daywalkers"


[deleted]

I always imagine he sucks them up like Cell from DBZ.


TheMightyUnderdog

"Hey Tom, we're going to need a doctor's note or it will be an unexcused absence."


thelukus5

Oh god not Trask! I love that man. First real Florida Gator qb since Leak.. Can’t the vamp kid just bleed out some homeless people or something ? Idk I don’t have a solution but we’ve already made our blood sacrifice to him already


captaincumsock69

Homeless people don’t produce pro athletes


unevenvenue

They certainly do, ESPN makes a point to bring it up anytime they can during Draft Day


willbel24

Hope his family is well


GreatOdinsRaven_

pretty sure now is not the time to question the man's work ethic. If Tom Brady wants a day off, what, are you not gonna give it to him?


BellacosePlayer

Brady's like one of the old timers at any given office job with like 5 months of PTO and half a decade of sick leave saved up


GreatOdinsRaven_

Seriously. "Go HOME Tom, the TPS reports can wait till Monday!"


Nick_Vae

But what about the new cover sheets?


ChucksnTaylor

Seriously, it was a little different in his first and maybe even the second year with the bucs as everybody was figuring out the new system and getting to understand different play styles but at this point there’s very limited downside to Brady missing a few days of preseason.


madcat033

Reminds me of Jimmy Johnson's story from his time with the cowboys. A depth player was sleeping during film session and Jimmy cut him from the team instantly. People said to him, isn't that a little harsh? What would you have done if it was Troy Aikman? "I would have walked up to Troy and whispered in his ear 'hey Troy, wake up'."


thelasthendrix

Original Bucs coach John McKay had a story about giving a speech on how most football games are lost in the trenches when he noticed one of his linemen was asleep. He woke him up and asked him where most football games were lost. The lineman said, “right here in Tampa, Coach.”


TrenchcoatWarfare

Lmao no wonder coach was in favor of our team's execution.


fractionesque

Much like Lawrence Taylor and Bill Parcells/Belichick.


jumbee85

of course it's a double standard. this is the nfl, if you're not a star you're replaceable, and even then stars have a shelf life, unless you're Tom Brady then you have a half life of xenon-124


gotcam189

Put in 23 years of unquestioned dedication and work ethic and NOW you can coast. The longest con.


jack_spankin

It’s not an NBA Kyrie situation.


constantlymat

Let's hope his parents are alright. His father had a severe bout with covid and his mother has been fighting cancer for almost a decade.


didntevenwarmupdho

Damn, that sucks, just had the flash of his super bowl interview when he talks about who his hero is


LordSnoh

Man I don’t have it in me to be crying on a Thursday morning


MankuyRLaffy

I know I've seen all the diet and Trask jokes in the thread, I had no idea his parents were struggling like that.


[deleted]

Hard for anyone to know homie don't blame those bros for the jokes and don't be hard on yourself for enjoying them. Context changes everything.


MankuyRLaffy

I just assumed he was harvesting Kyle Trask, or saw Alex Guerrero for injection. But personal home reasons is more logical to skip practice for.


kataiga

I remember first hearing about his mother with cancer after the Super Bowl in Houston. He had wanted to give her his jersey but it had been stolen from the locker room


PoorlyLitKiwi2

As the maker of one of the Trask jokes at the top of this thread... now I feel horrible


Rosh_Jobinson1912

Don’t feel bad for your joke, feel bad for being a Browns fan /s


Seealpp

Says the lions fan /s Y’all fr look promising, I’m excited to see what y’all can do this year


Rosh_Jobinson1912

Oh yeah??? Well my head coach could beat up your head coach!! But I’m so excited for football to finally start. Idk if it’s just me, but even the HOF game wasn’t miserable this year


[deleted]

Came in here to clown on Brady now I can't. :(


Toto_LZ

Professionals have standards! Wishing his family good health for sure


[deleted]

Damn dude that was really nice. Thank you. I hope everyone's okay too.


TheSublimeLight

*Heckling's a good job, mate! It's challenging work, out of doors, and at the end of the day, somebody's gonna want somebody heckled.*


Pit_of_Death

Once it's determined it's not family-health related we can come back in here and clown to our heart's content.


diablosinmusica

He's at that age when many people's parents are in failing health.


MankuyRLaffy

Wait, that age isn't 20? Is that what you're telling me? I thought that was the age, not 45.


diablosinmusica

Depends on if you're from Florida or just recently moved there.


MankuyRLaffy

I've never been to Florida lol


diablosinmusica

I wouldn't admit it either.


Choco320

I can’t imagine having that much money and being powerless against family member battling cancer


kingpangolin

Powerless isn’t really the correct word. Money makes a massive difference in the fight against cancer. Not only will you have a better chance at surviving, you’ll be more comfortable, have psychological resources at your disposal, and if it isn’t beatable you’ll still probably live longer. Cancer fucking sucks, but the rich will have a significantly better shot at the battle


snugglyfish

This was my first thought


Instagrimm

Plot twist: He's in a yacht meeting with another NFL owner to get them to lose picks. 4d chess.


redd5ive

DNP (Colluding with the Dolphins)


HalogenSunflower

Scuba-diving Trip (Canoodling with Dolphins)


scottthang

Hootie and the Blowfish concert (Crying over the Dolphins)


YardWater

Owl City (Swimming with Dolphins)


DriverDenali

Pentagon visit (Mine seeking dolphins)


cth777

Someone infiltrated his house with a strawberry. He is on lockdown


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Du_Kich_Long_Trang

Or he doesn't want to do joint practice against the Dolphins


HolyGig

Health issues for a family member appears to be the current rumor, but who knows if that's true. I hope everyone is ok, Brady will be just fine missing a few days of practice


AMAathon

If it's true that it was planned way in advance it might just be some time off. Maybe he negotiated it when coming out of retirement.


Schlabzilla

"He old" - Bowles, probably


PeteF3

"DNP (old)"


vitey15

I'm gonna miss Popp


ProfProfessorberg

Nobody knows what it means but it's provocative


DrDankDankDank

It gets the people going!


TreySermonGrin

He only drank 150 oz of water yesterday and is severely dehydrated


just-the-tip__

150oz of water is more than 1 gallon. Beep. Boop. Im not a bot


KotzubueSailingClub

Good non-bot.


alamotero

To make this the craziest NFL off-season in history, we will find out that Brady is somehow tied to the FBI raid of Mar-a-Lago


SlopingGiraffe

Avocado rehab


Justice-Gorsuch

It started just using it at parties to make guacamole…


ProudBlackMatt

Inb4 Brady gets Bowles removed and BoB called up from the minors. In seriousness Bowles seems like the perfect HC for Tom to have if he wants to slowly take over a team Game of Thrones style.


andyandersonbjj

Chaos is a ladder


PoorlyLitKiwi2

LeBrady


tangosworkuser

Getting fitted for his dentures.


Soren_Camus1905

Oh no I hope his parents are okay


Lifesaboxofgardens

Because he's Tom Brady why is this even a question that needs an answer


Abamfafodder95

He’s going to see his son play football. (Inside source)


0ddmanrush

Set the scene. I'm a Jets fan in 2018. Ask me if my head coach who we just fired after 3 straight seasons of 5 wins or less would be the head coach of the team with the HOF quarterback that dominanted my division for the last 20 years.


darkbro66

Tom is reconsidering unretirement after losing 2 centers in 2 weeks lol


JustARandomSocialist

Brady has a blood boy


papachanga

It’s senior day at the place I work today. I bet he’s there


gigglefarting

Afraid to be tampered.


DerSchattenJager

Out for a hip replacement


Party_Objective_9847

What a fucking loser. Who is this Tom Brady guy anyway?


Tyroneshoolaces

Swelling due to accidental ingestion of a strawberry.


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PeanutNSFWandJelly

How many QBs would get this much coverage for having a couple excuses absences? Like 3 posts about this are at the top of this sub. I get that Brady is the goat, but this seems like overkill.


Pernyx98

>Bowles followed up with "Tom recently completed Endwalker, the newest expansion from the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV and needs some time to reflect."


unclehelpful

Someone is planning to steal the spice melange, he is making preparations to defend it.


lilStankfur

If this guy wants to be good in this league he needs to show up to practice.. slacker 😒


CthulhuAlmighty

I bet someone stole the spice melange from Brady.


breadman_69420

So lazy. Maybe he should get an independent study clause written into his next contract.


DowntownJulieBrown1

Idk abt this guy, sounds like he might not have a great work ethic


[deleted]

Brady is talking to Ross in Mexico. Todd is fine with it because the dolphins will just be fined another 1st round draft pick. With Robert Kraft, kind of all things illegal, whines to the nfl.