By - treetyoselfcarol
Can you imagine how cripplingly boring Matt Patricia would've been?
He would have been the villain
Hue Jackson season 2.0
Matt Patricia is driving this bus
Man that was so cringey watching that happen
Yet apt after seeing how readily he was willing to throw people under it.
It’s never him, it’s always hue
Damn. He’s easy to root for. This regime change has actually made NFL football exciting in Detroit even though we’ll still likely suck. I’ve never been this hopeful for the next couple season in my whole life of lions fandom.
They either would have had to make him a villain or not showcase him much. I don't know how they could show him without making it obvious the players hate him.
Probably like that Dolphins season where Joe Philbin got a ton of screen time despite having the personality of loaf of wonderbread
Hey chief, I’m sorry. I know I was supposed to follow coach Philbin around today but apparently I accidentally focused on a bush near the sideline and didn’t realize it wasn’t him. I have 5 hours of the bush. I didn’t realize it wasn’t him until the gardener gave him a trim with hedge clippers.
It would probably take another 20 minutes of wondering why he was getting a haircut at camp before you realized it was a bush
That bush is gonna be a STAR
THE BUSH NEVER GETS THAT MOVIE! IT'LL MAKE HIM A BIG STAR!!!
OMG that was so telling when Jake Long, Karlos Dansby, and Reggie Bush went to Philbin and said the players asked them to be a leadership council to improve communication, and Philbin said he didn’t like the idea that communication wasn’t already good.
All 3 players were gone the following year.
Talk about poor leadership.
They literally showed him picking small pieces of trash off of the ground. It was the most exciting film they had of him.
The dude literally cut Chad Johnson on national television and somehow even made that boring.
I wish he stuck around but the highlight of that season was trading vontae Davis which was such a dumb move
Alright team, today we got a team building exercise. We are tearing down the local orphanage while wearing backwards hat
Wait, one hat for the *entire Team* 🤔
Damn, that'd actually be kind of entertaining
They pass it around, whoever is wearing the hat can speak
But they have to start and end every sentence with "Wematanye"
Is this a king of the hill reference
Wematanye I see Texas Wematanye
Don’t forget the fucking pencil
A fucking pencil
For a laminated playsheet.
I mean even IF the lions wanted to do it like they did this time, it would be significantly more boring. You couldn't really be yourself under Patricia. I feel like what makes this hard knocks so interesting is because we have a lot of interesting characters, lions wanted to be on it, and MCDC is big on people being themselves.
The most exciting thing about the Lions right now is that the organization has (by all appearances at least) finally committed to changing how things operate. From the day WCF bought the team, he hired his friends and didn’t really care about fielding a contender. After he passed away, Martha took over but kept everything running like it always had. To her credit, she finally got the guts to mix things up, but they fell for the Patriots Way crap and we all know how that turned out.
With Sheila taking over and hiring Holmes\Campbell, things have felt different from the top down for the first time that I can remember. Will it work out? Maybe, maybe not (I really hope so), but I’m happy to see a commitment from ownership to trying new approaches when the time comes.
Matt Patricia would just say "I don't care" and walk away to go yell at a safety
He would tell an old story of a Super Bowl that Bill Belichick and Tom Brady won for him, and then refuse to answer any more questions.
"... Then Tom threw the most beautiful pass that won us the Super Bowl!"
"Coach, weren't you the DC?"
"No further questions"
"How did you let Nick Foles catch a touchdown pass on 4th down?" should be every single first question to any Matt Patricia interview.
dont devalue the best QB in your franchise history like that
Can’t forget him throwing some players under the bus too
he wouldn't walk, he would take his golf cart to go 30 yards
Groups of players huddled in terror because Matt Patricia ate one of them alive right there on the field and was still hungry.
Would eating a punter instill fear? Or would it need to be at least like a linebacker?
I’m just imagining him eating the scrawniest guy out there and absolutely no one being impressed.
Have you seen his belly these days? Nothing short of the entire OL would fill it.
I had forgotten that was premiering last night. My GF and I were just browsing around for something to watch.
Dan Campbell is a glorious treasure of Bro Football Word Salad.
Well i lived through it so yeah i can imagine lol.
Dan Campbell is looking for Oblongs relatives
Now that's a show I haven't thought about in loooong time
Onlongs, Home Movies, and Mission Hill were great Adult Swim shows from that era.
Home movies is on hbo max if you're feeling nostalgic. The other two shows might be as well, since hbo max has adult swim.
Are you 30? You sound 30 like me lol
It’s like we’re in a simulation 🤣 do you remember mission hills? I loved that show
Yeah. Good memories staying up late at sleepovers to watch Adult Swim, back in the olden times.
Dude I was just thinking the same thing. Then I realized that show is 20 years old now. Fuck I'm old
> Fuck I'm old
I grew up when cartoons were only on Saturday mornings, lol. :)
Man I feel you lol granted I'm no where near as old as the show but my go to cartoon was Flintstones on VHS lol
[I take it he would let Rigby onto the team then?](https://youtu.be/zxL2zdPVvKM)
Is that one cheek wonder?!
But seriously, those two need to get back to work or else Benson is going to fire them.
That's both checkboxes right there
Side note really love J G Quintel shows. Shame close enough was canceled can’t wait to see what’s next though.
According to Quintel it was HBO's decision to cancel the show, not his.
Had it not been I'd like to imagine it would've lasted \~6-7 seasons.
I hope he doesn't think he can win punchies with cheeks like that
However, if you have one toe and three ass cheeks there’s gonna be a problem.
> "To me, it means we’ll play anywhere," Campbell said. "We’ll play on grass. We’ll play on turf. We’ll go to a f***ing landfill.
Sleepin on this quote as well.
Big deal, lots of people play games at the Meadowlands.
Giants catchin strays!!
And I believe we play there twice this year. I know they say one game at a time but MCDC is clearly looking ahead.
Dan Campbell makes me want to achieve my dreams and never give up
You just gotta drag your dreams out into the deep water and drown them.
Love MCDC, but he’s got a little Yogi Berra in him.
It's like deja vu all over again!
[Don’t give up!](https://youtu.be/KxGRhd_iWuE)
This is why I migrated from the Browns to Lions, instead of the Bills.
I want Dan Campbell to succeed so hard.
Not even a Lions fan, but I want the Lions to win it all. If the Rams can’t that is.
Ngl that was the most entertaining episode of hard knocks I’ve watched in a long time. I hope what Campbell is doing works. He’s really fun to listen to. And it really seems like he knows how to motivate people. And while some people give him flak for being a rah rah guy it’s clear he’s also not dumb. And his staff is fun
I'm a Campbell fan from now until forever. Or until he gets hired by the Browns, Ravens, or Steelers. :)
The day will come soon - we're collecting all the other head coaches. 1 down, only 30 more to go, and Campbell's next!
No. You get Rhule next and you'll like it!
Please no... 🥺
Lions have been my pet team ever since he cried after Justin Tucker took the teams soul last year.
At least he's a rah rah guy who does 40 up downs, played in the NFL, and is still jacked. Nothing like having a rah rah guy like Butch Jones that are just clowns.
I was highly entertained. It was nice to see Duuuuuuce having fun.
I can’t wait for a Duce/Aaron Glenn buddy cop movie.
Definitely better than anything from last season at least. AB riding into Raiders camp in a hot air balloon was pretty special though.
I was born with an imperforated anus, aka one butt cheek, does that mean Dan Campbell is going to come beat me up?
How many toes ya got
"I have the toes I have. Let's just leave it at that."
I have more than 3 toes. Does that keep me safe?
I mean, if you got 10 toes, you got 3 toes. I'd watch your back.
Even if you only got nine toes you still got three toes.
Well. How many on each foot.
[Rex Ryan logs on]
Are they *all* your toes? You didn’t steal any from someone else?
He don’t care if you got more. He counts asscheeks and toes. When he gets to 1 and 3, respectively, the beating starts.
I’d definitely be wearing some sort of knee protection. Just in case.
u/slice29 rolls up his sleeve showing a tattoo of a foot with 3 toes. i'll let you interpret that however you want
A small part of me wants to google "imperforated anus" but the rest of me really doesn't.
It's nothing crazy. Being born premature some things aren't fully developed yet. So basically, I was born with everything a normal baby is born with, but there was no butthole. So they have to rush a baby with an imperforated anus into surgery otherwise they can't poop.
Sometimes the hole will be there, just covered with layers of skin.
Didn’t think I’d learn this on /r/nfl but here we are. Hope your butthole is okay now buddy.
Not necessarily. Just means he won’t not beat you up.
I got a hank hill lookin ass so basically not even one ass cheek and I'm fine cutting off my toes. Throw me in coach!
Dan Campbell is turning me into a Detroit Lions fan. What?
I'll allow it because I'm a Burrows fan
He’s gonna be the best Hard Knocks character since Rex Ryan, right?
Campbell makes it so easy to root for him and his culture change. I now have a favorite nfc team because of MCDC
Dan Campbell's speeches are emotionally driven nonsense and I'm 100% on board with it.
I really liked him as our interim coach. He'll probably never make it far in the playoffs but he's a players coach and certainly passionate.
Idk if there's a city more synonymous with having teams being greater than the sum of their parts though. Likeable coaches that can get players to play hard for them tend to do well in Detroit. It's a great city for sports when there's a fun team to watch whether they're winning or not.
Detroit probably will be mediocre/bad again this year, but after seeing the lions fight like hell week after week last year and the team celebrate like they did after finally getting their first win vs Minnesota, there is definitely something special about what he's building there.
Last year was a talent difference, this year should be an experience difference. The future feels like it should be bright with this regime though!
Someone's gonna get an angry letter. Time to send him back to the recording booth like Beyonce.
It’s ableist not to beat the shit out of disabled people
Hard Knocks has made me a Lions fan lol
For real, I was just in Vegas last weekend and I’m kicking myself that I didn’t bet $100 on the over total wins for them just so I could root for them hard this year.
He says funny things but is he a good coach?
One thing is for sure he has assembled a solid coaching roster
Probably. He inherited what is probably one of the worst rosters of all time, and came close to winning about 6-7 games with it (only ended up winning 3 with 1 tie).
I think it's all about consistent progress with them right now, an uphill climb rather than jumping levels over consecutive years.
Beat the spread on 13 of the games too
The only thing that matters
Hey man I root for the Lions. I have to find something to be happy about.
After that first hard knocks episode i think we’re all Lions fans this year. Hope Dan can put it together and also win me some money
You also have the most thanksgiving wins. I learned that today. That’s something to be proud of.
We can ignore you also have the most losses.
it obviously isn't what the team is looking for, but it is a good indication that they were outperforming their roster and expectations.
Vegas is *very* good at setting their lines so to beat it that consistently gives a good indication that Campbell did very well with the hand he was dealt
I hope you’re right. The last time we were absurd against the spread was 2010, we were an insane I believe 14-2 ATS that year (6-10 overall). The next year was 11-5 overall.
So you’re saying I SHOULD bet the lions make the playoffs
Honestly if the odds are nice I think it’s not a bad bet
Also had 3 games with Tim Boyle at QB. If Goff started those 3, we would have won at least 2 of the 3, Falcons and Browns. Probably still would have lost to the Seahawks.
Anthony Lynn really held us back at OC last year
Anthony Lynn saw Herbert and Tyrod side by side for an entire pre-season and it took a doctor piercing Tyrod’s lung to get him to put Herbert on the field. Dude is shockingly bad at what he does.
Sad because he is an extremely nice guy. But yeah, absolutely fuck awful at running an offense.
We went from a guy who was too scared to go for it on 4th or to play not to lose… I can tell Telesco got fed up with it and went for Staley who is extremely aggressive
Was Herbert lighting it up in practice or did he only make the next step when he was starting?
We have no idea. It was the start of the pandemic. They didn’t really have practice and preseason games were cancelled.
What we do know is they gave him a literal zero practice reps with the 1s.
> What we do know is they gave him a literal zero practice reps with the 1s.
Hue Jackson tier move.
Like literally, Hue also held a rookie QB out of any practice reps with the 1s in favor of Tyrod Taylor.
It's like bad coaches saw Nathan Peterman start over Tyrod once and assumed that will always happen if you start someone over tyrod.
Matt Nagy held Fields out of practice with the ones in favor of Dalton last year.
> Herbert lighting it up in practice
There are some videos of Pep Hamilton(QB coach) talking him up prior to the season as well as Herbert nailing some beautiful throws.
I know people like to completely scapegoat Lynn for all of our problems offensively last year, but he did take over a roster with great turnover. Including at the most important position. Would only make sense that we got better as the season went on as rookies got better and everybody adjusted. Lynn also installed and Campbell continued to use his run game concepts.
Yeah he definitely wasn't the only thing holding us back last year he was just a big part of it. To your point, as much as I love MCDC he was a horrible coach the first game he took over, I think thanksgiving.
If Goff started all of the games after Lynn was fired, Lions would have ended their last 8 games with a record of 5-3-1. While he went 0-8 with Goff.
> If Goff started all of the games after Lynn was fired, Lions would have ended their last 8 games with a record of 5-3-1.
We can't say this with confidence. It's more likely, but it's not a guarantee.
He needs to close out games this year
Another 3 win season and his quotes will stop shining like they do now
Honestly, I think being a motivating factor and building a good culture goes a long way to being successful. Vrabel was acknowledged as pretty awful during his stint with the Texans but has been fantastic for us once he got the HC role.
The thing that keeps me optimistic is that the team truly seems happy with our coaching staff. Even when we were 0-10 last year, the team kept fighting their asses off every game, and they went nuts when they finally won a game and seemed super happy for coach Campbell. I watched Jim Schwartz Lions teams giving half assed apathetic effort in the past despite much better rosters/records/playoff chances. That kind of team chemistry has got to pay off eventually; even if Campbell can never get us to the super bowl threshold just a single playoff win or winning the division will do wonders for this team.
Winning at Lambeau to end the season feels like a statement game, even if it was mostly only meaningful to lions fans.
> Winning at Lambeau to end the season feels like a statement game
That game was at Ford Field.
Wow I have severly misremebered that. I could have sworn it was Lambeau. The fuck are all these fake memories doing... was I remembering 2018?
The season ending game was in Detroit.
Hard to say. He took a team lacking in talent to a bunch of competitive losses, a tie and a couple wins. But thats usually not the part of the job that leads to major success as a coach.
I'd say they are a bit better than their record, not that saying they're really more like a 5-11-1 or 6-10-1 team is much better.
They keep the tie, though. The steelers play to the level of their competition.
You can be a mediocre coach if you're great at changing culture and galvanizing players.
See: Zac Taylor
As of right now you can’t say he is. Yeah he’s got quotes that some people eat up but at the end of the day the team won 3 games last year. Yes I know the roster was a compilation of shit. Beating the spread while losing isn’t a win. He’s gotta show something within the next 2 years to prove he is.
And that’s fine, lions fans aren’t delusional, we’re just uncharacteristically hopeful, and it feels good man.
Idk dude I’ve seen some pretty wild takes from some Lions fans that think they will win 9 games and win the division.
Gonna have the slappys that call SB every year, but based on strength of schedule paired with expected improvement, .500 isn’t unreasonable as a ceiling, but this teams far from ready to compete realistically for any sort of playoff run
He is a great leader of men and I think a good evaluator of talent (players and coaches) but hasn't proven himself yet. He's still very inexperienced at the HC position so there is a lot of room to grow
After he took over play calls on offense the team got better and better every week. Hell Goff was atatistcially one of the best qbs down the stretch
I care if you have one asscheek. I wanna know how you poop.
This season of Hard Knocks is gonna be gold!
Did Dan hold up a spork at any time?
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! \*holds up spork\* my name is dan but u can call me t3h C0aCH oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^… im 46 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my qb (im lion if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! hes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
Seahawks fans aren't old enough for one of the OG pasta dishes.
It's copy pasta from the dawn of time
An old copypasta
Man, this guy loves naming body parts.
You should see what he does with animals.
More quotable: Tomlin or Campbell?
It depends on the situation. If you want to make sense and make your point effectively, Tomlin.
If you want something funny, MCDC hands down
I feel Dan Campbell is to coaching what Terrence Mallick is to directing. You may not fully understand the words he's saying, but you get the emotion and message he is trying to get across.
The best description I've read of MCDC is he's what would happen if The Macho Man and Ted Lasso did the fusion dance.
sprinkle in a little Stone Cold Steve Austin too, but yeah, that's pretty apt.
SHAKA, WHEN THE WALLS FELL.
Dan is great, but it's Tomlin hands down. Dan's quotes are feel good ra-ra salt of the earth stuff. Tomlin's are witty masterpieces.
I feel like Jerry Jones deserves to be in this conversation.
He had a good episode. I loved how he got down to do pushups with the team during warmups. He had a lot of good commentary in this episode too about how he loves his players and looks out for them. "Trust me, guys! I love you all. I'm doing what's best for the team!"
I love how that whole speech started with "I know you might think I'm a lunatic...but I swear to you guys, I'm not a lunatic"
Suspiciously similar to what a lunatic would say.
As long as you can be in the shallow water, and pull people in the deep, and be in the deep - where the non shallow water people are, but you can go to the shallow too..
I cackled out loud.
I feel seen
As someone born with 12 toes this comforts me
How would you shit?!
Finally someone that doesn’t care
Dan Campbell has seen Fresh on Hulu recently, I gather.
Maybe. But it makes running kind of difficult.
What this means? WE DON’T KNOW!
Dan Campbell is the idealized embodiment of a "football guy" and I love it!
Campbell out here giving me tomlin vibes
I sure am glad we censored the two S letters in ASS. I have no idea what word he might've said now and my virgin eyes are still pure
Dan campbell likes katie morgan.
I love Dan Campbell. He's awesome and I wish him nothing but success.
I don’t understand why we can’t watch previous seasons of hardknocks in HBO max?
I don’t know how much success he can have given how the team is usually run and operated, but man I love the culture this man is building
Okay? This guy says some wild shit. Seems like a good dude though, I wish him and the lions well.
Missing 50% of your gluteus maximus and 70% of your toes sounds like a lot of missing potential power and balance. This is football not a band. I need guys with ass and toes. I hereby announce my position as the new assistant coach to the Chicago Bears.
Wish him well but he better hope they win eventually. These same quotes would immediately be turned into signs he was never the guy.
I feel like Campbell's coaching tree will be like a game of telephone as they try to pass on his confused analogies.