T O P

[Yates] Richard Sherman when asked what's he's seen so far from Jimmy Garoppolo and the offense in camp: "Well first off, he's handsome." No lies told.

[Yates] Richard Sherman when asked what's he's seen so far from Jimmy Garoppolo and the offense in camp: "Well first off, he's handsome." No lies told.

MasterTeacher123

Hes one of the few QBs that if he worked at Dunkin’ Donuts would still swim in girls because of how handsome he is


scaredshtlessintx

He’d be slinging eclairs left and right all day


__JeRM

And girls named Claire


WhoWantsPizzza

From the internet.


[deleted]

If I saw that man at Dunkin.... we’d be slamming in his tinted out Jetta and I’d get a free latte


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FourthBanEvasion

Ever seen a Dunkin' Donuts parking lot? Jettas as far as the eye can see.


GameTime2325

Hot chicks drive Jettas, it's from The League.


bababuoy94

"Watch the league you fucking Andre"


FrostByte122

If you're that handsome and you're working at Dunkin you made a left somewhere you shouldn't have.


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ZellNorth

Nah. It’s more intense then coke. He’d still be successful on blow. He’s on meth if he’s at dunkin


ItypeRandomWords

Tru should be in a Starbucks at minimum


gwaydms

Jimmy G may well be the most handsome man in the NFL. Ever. But looks don't win games. Jimmy is a good QB with room to improve.


PFManningsForehead

Brady to Edelman might’ve be the most handsome duo in nfl, we need a top 100 of this


PM_ME_YOUR_YAK

Jimmy to Sanders has gotta be up there


zincinzincout

Jimmy G is handsome but he doesn’t come close to [Corey Clement](https://www.nbcsports.com/philadelphia/sites/csnphilly/files/styles/article_hero_image/public/2017/07/24/072417_clement_1on1.jpg?itok=J3FUb-YF). If Corey banged my girlfriend I’d be jealous of her Corey is absolutely jacked, too, whereas Jimmy has that QB body [edit: video interview for all my fellow straight male friends that need more evidence](https://youtu.be/vPL_lMyCr8A)


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PCsNBaseball

Where can I find this Super Bowel?


thedude37

I usually find it after a lot of Taco Bell


zincinzincout

Fucked in the super bowel? Freudian slip or intentional joke? lol


CactusBathtub

I remember when my husband and I first saw Jimmy G in the press conference when he was getting traded to us and we both said simply "woooow" at about that same time. I wish we would have made it to a game with this new crew, he would be so excited


libraryacc

I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. You can dream about fucking whoever you want.


Trump_larva_4life

Idk jimmy is pretty jacked at times.


A_Bitter_Homer

>that QB body 6'2"?


ncastleJC

Tom Brady is the definition of a QB body. You see him not suited up he’s one of the most unassuming people. If not for football he could pass for an average Joe. Source: worked security at Gillette and got to see the whole team walk by. Brady lagged behind and looked small after all the others passed.


wafino1

??? Brady is still ridiculously handsome and he's 6'4". Dude ain't an average Joe in any sense of the word.


ncastleJC

By my own personal experience, he didn’t look 6’4” to me. That’s what I mean. His linemen are legit cattle and tower over people. I even saw Tim Tebow standing with them and he’s a pretty big guy. But on a regular walk to practice without being suited up, Brady can get lost among those guys. It was my own impression really but it stuck with me.


RealScaryBears

Who are the others? Where does bearded Big Ben stand?


Kenster362

He's posted up outside the men's room


ARCHA1C

Nice


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flashpile

Is there a technical distinction between fainting and swooning?


Charod48

Consent


dolaction

Rapelisberger


JTGreenan73

Never gets old


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Ruthlessraper


Shorzey

Ben's definition of consent is: >if they can't say no, that's a yes


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Ben Ruthlessraper


IceLantern

> Where does bearded Big Ben stand? He stands in bathrooms waiting for college girls to prey on.


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Iron-Fist

Toradol is not drowsy at all, it's just like a pumped up version of ibuprofen Source: am pharmacist


MasterTeacher123

Brady Newton(I think he could be a movie star) Rodgers


AllLinesAreStraight

Cam has an incredible smile


JavaOrlando

Out of the league but Freeman would probably do alright (though I'm sure he'd get fired from Dunkin.)


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schlemz

That one Tuesday night game against the eagles though


darkbro66

Sigh.... That game was just...


schlemz

One of the weirdest damn games to watch in NFL history? Yeah I agree.


THRILLHO6996

If Brady worked at Duncan he wouldn’t have those fantastic hair plugs and I don’t think his skinny fat college body would have aged so well


-full-control-

More RW3 disrespect smh


MegaAltarianite

He'd get fired for eating the product.


slyfox1908

Kirk Cousins disrespect even in this thread


carsausage

We all know that Kirk only loves Julie, no matter his profession. That's what makes Kirk elite.


RatedR2O

Yes, but whether or not its consensual is up for debate.


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joydivision1234

Nick Foles but not because he's handsome.


thegalkel

I am just here to say that Joe Flacco is elite in more ways than one


CosbySweaters1992

Players that Richard Sherman wasn’t lying about when he said were handsome: 1. Jimmy Garoppolo


seventeen89

It’s always best to finish the one player list with a crisp “That’s it”


chiefpattyp

That’s the list


IceFreezer304

Literally us, the Falcons


Joaaayknows

I disagree I like it the way it is because it leaves you wondering “where is 2??” But then you realize there is no 2. That’s it.


Happy_Huntington

Jimmy G must have cleaned up in college oh my


bertsaipe

Went to EIU same time as Jimmy can confirm he cleaned up. He constantly had a swarm of 10-20 ladies around him at all times at the bar.


Bill_Ender_Belichick

Wonder what his body count is


VindictiveRakk

so does he


PCsNBaseball

And after; didn't he date a pornstar?


[deleted]

Not gonna lie she was not that hot but I'm sure she was good in bed. Gronkowski's pornstar was way finer


Marijuanomist

First Trent swallowing Bosa, now this? What is going on in SF??


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joshtreee

Well done ✔


coolchewlew

I had honestly never heard that about KC.


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TheUltimate721

I live in Kansas City and I've never heard that said about Kansas City


GrGrG

Kansas City is so weird. It couldn't even be a part of of Kansas? What's up with that? Weird. It might be where the cool Kansas kids can hang out without the rest of Kansas cramping their style, but I'm not sure.


coolchewlew

Yeah, I guess Missouri wears the pants in the relationship.


thedude37

Lifetime Missouri resident here. We're more hillbilly than Kansas but a lot less boring.


Sdog1981

Kansas City is mostly in Missouri. Kansas City Kansas has outlet malls, train tracks, and some hotels. Also, the BMW dealership is just over the KC-K KC-Mo line so they are pretty stoked about that.


Meatpuppy

Earlier in the broadcast he was talking about the three World Series played in the bay area. In 88,89,&90. In 88 it was the A's and Dodgers, 89 was A's and Giants and 90 was the A's and Reds. In there he was talking about various things about those 3 series. That's where "*** capital of the world" came in.


250gpfan

Same I thought it was Atlanta.


dan_144

It is very gay here.


Boomstick101

Sf used to be the gay capital of the world. It still is, but used to too.


Wanderingmind144

Idk, go to P-Town in Massachusetts


JubeltheBear

P Town in the summer? Gay capital for sure (not to be confused with Fire Island in the summer, which is the "most special gay place on Earth"). But SF maintains a higher, yearly gay average than P Town


papaotter

Jesus save it for the roast thread


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latortillablanca

We're not here to kink shame.


[deleted]

I am! That's my kink!


latortillablanca

You should be ashamed


chuckstuffup

Same thing that's always been going on in SF 😏🥳


tarallelegram

things are getting *cozy* if you catch my drift


commentcommenced

Can’t wait for the fan fiction.


Tenglishbee

I can hear Sherman’s goofy ass laugh after saying that lol


kamekaze1024

Love Sherman but his laughs sounds like an exotic bird


Legend017

That is...the most accurate description ever.


NothingUnknown

"The cornerback makes a peculiar sound that to some may sound like laughter. But he's not laughing. He's there, to mate." -Planet NFL, narrated by David Attenborough.


DuckDrunkLove

Remember last season when Jimmy threw 5 INTs in practice and everyone thought the 49ers were doomed, and then he went and had an amazing season and led his team to the Super Bowl


repostusername

Yeah it was pretty great minus one quarter


Show-Me-Your-TDs

I know the feeling X's 2


okcup

That happens when you get hit on the head


nineteennaughty3

He makes that pass to Sanders late in the 4th, everyone forgets about that quarter and considers him elite


DrChadHanzAugustinMD

I still don’t know why Shanny abandoned the run. The 9ers had what, 2 timeouts and the 2 minute warning on that last drive? Give it to Mostert and Deebo and dare the Chiefs to stop your edge rushing and score with zero clock left. Even if Jimmy hits Sanders, there’s a decent chance Mahomes marches down to tie or to win against their gassed D that late in the game.


True2TheGame

That was the frustrating part. Deebo was doing so well in the first half with the jet sweeps and we just abandoned it


DrChadHanzAugustinMD

Yeah I remember all the talking heads before the game were like “the Chiefs need to force Jimmy to throw late in the game.” I don’t think the Chiefs ever really did, Shanny just volunteered him for some reason. I’m aware the Chiefs got some stops on 1st down, but man Deebo was such a beast and if you’re going to eliminate Kittle as a receiver and have him block (another mistake by Shanny on that last drive imo) at least make sure Deebo is getting touches. I can’t stand your team, but it broke me a bit to see Deebo crying on the sideline. The man earned his tears. I hate Bosa’s politics, but he earned his too. He had the most dominant performance in that game and it wasn’t even close.


Jericcho

Maybe if he had threw 6 interceptions during camp, his team would have won.


kj9219

According to some nephews, calling him a top 15 QB is overrating him, still.


EthanSpears

Just for fun I am making this list. They are in no order. 1. Wilson 2. Rodgers 3. Brees 4. Ryan 5. Mahomes 6. Lamar 7. Dak 8. Wentz 9. Cousins 10. Watson 11. Stafford 12. Big Ben if healthy 13. Brady 14. Tannehill 15. Jimmy G Last spot is him, Tannehill, or Cam Newton


TakenakaHanbei

>They are in no order. *looks at flair* >7.. Dak >8.. Wentz You sure about that, son? 🤨


Cudizonedefense

On paper, Dak was definitely better than Wentz last year


YouStupidDick

And Dak can stay on the field. I like Wentz. But, injuries have to be a deciding factor, also.


Cudizonedefense

The only argument in favor of Wentz is that he put up somewhat worse numbers but didn’t have the offense around him that Dak had right? I see no other argument


tonyprent22

Correct. Our fan base is obviously biased towards Dak. But honestly Wentz had the ghost of Alshon Jeffries for 11 games. Nelson “Drops” Agolhor(sp) for 11 games. And a mix of guys you never heard of subbing in. “Oh but he still had Ertz!!” Yeah. I know. And so did every defense they played. How did we do when the entire conglomerate of NFL defenses knew Zeke was the only threat to start 2018. Cowboy fans like to forget how bad we looked without Amari or any true X on the team, yet crush Carson for same thing. I’ll take Dak over Wentz any day, for durability and leadership. But if it’s 3rd and goal from the 10, gimme Wentz. Better QB just not better leader nor can he play a full season


Cudizonedefense

What an insightful and mature response. Thank you


SkewErrand

In fairness look up some of the receivers wentz was throwing to. Dragging that offense to the playoffs is impressive


Marijuanomist

I LOL'd at "Big Ben if healthy." Does that mean that injuries wouldn't knock any of the others off the list?


Dreyeris

I think he means more “Big Ben if he recovers properly from his last injury”, not just Big Ben coming off any random injury


searing7

right.. he suffered an injury that isn't common for football and usually has a longer recovery timeline.


EthanSpears

I mean if his surgery went well. Dude tore like 3 ligaments in his elbow or something


reddittowl87

Wentz>Dak


IceLantern

It was 5 straight picks. It was a bit of foreshadowing. He ended up being more turnover prone that we would have liked and our pass defense was a lot better than anybody would have expected.


snypesalot

90% of Jimmy Gs picks were off receivers hands Im not gonna fault him got Pettis and Bourne were butterfingers


IceLantern

90%? Yeah ok. As if Jimmy is the only QB that got victimized by tipped/dropped passes. But I guess we'll take those into account but not the passes dropped by opposing defenders or the passes in which the receivers fought hard just to prevent a pick.


mynewaltaccount1

Exactly, it goes both ways. Pretty sure in the first hawks vs 49ers game last season, seattle dropped 2 or 3 interceptions in the last quarter alone, plus had one take away by a flag in the 1st half. Jimmy G's interceptions aren't that different from any other qb.


csdspartans7

Do people say it’s because he throws too hard like they did with Cam?


Dump_Bucket_Supreme

no its because our receiving core was garbage until we got sanders. jimmy g doesn’t have a noodle arm but hes not exactly known for his fastballs


stephenjr311

I'd argue it's more learning shanny's offense. It's a lot of timing and Matt Ryan didn't even do well with it his first year. It's not an easy offense to learn, even if it does get people open. You still need to know when and where those people are going to be open.


csdspartans7

“Led”


MudkipOfDespair098

Oi. Watch your tone there bud.


abowmanlex

If I saw Jimmy plowing my wife I’d see myself out and get mad that my wife gets to plow Jimmy G.


Mozicon

Or you could just be next. I'm sure Jimmy wouldn't mind a round 2.


okcup

Male pornstars often have to do gay scenes to make it a profitable profession, even if they’re straight. PornstarJimmy confirmed.


commentcommenced

Why not stay and watch... watch jimmy as long as you can.


[deleted]

Maybe Jimmy will go over the tape with you after. Help you improve your arm strength.


BaconWise

"No, you!" Jimmy said with a giggle. His rugged, chiseled face flushed a light shade of crimson as he looked away from Richard. He shyly looked up again and gave Richard a small smile only to look away again when he made eye contact.


ZootTX

Go on....


BaconWise

Yates could feel a sensation in the air between Jimmy and Richard - a palpable electricity. He got the feeling the only people existing in the world to those two were each other. "Good for you," he said to no one in particular and slowly put away his microphone. He gestured to his camera guy to cut the feed then looked one more time at two stars, now locked into an intense, piercing gaze. "Good for you," he whispered again and slowly walked toward the exit tunnel.


MajorDarf

Fuck, now I'm hard. Anybody have that Jimmy G as a women picture?


[deleted]

Jokes aside, you have a talent with words my friend.


[deleted]

Publishers are gonna be knocking on your door any minute.


BaconWise

Probably with a cease and desist letter...


Chadbrochill17_

Shit, that is far better than the vast majority of the self-published, niche "books," you see on Amazon nowadays (I'm looking at you "Taken by the T-Rex"). edit: added the word I had omitted


TheUnknownDouble-O

It's sad I already knew that book existed


Chadbrochill17_

Always glad to meet another person of culture =)


IAmTheNightSoil

Whoa! I was sure what would be a Chuck Tingle book but I just looked it up and it said Christie Simms? That means there's more than one dinosaur erotica author out there?! Holy crap


But__Why_Tho

B-baka...


avboden

stupid sexy Garoppolo


shawnbie

He might be a top 5-15 QB, but he is far and away #1 most handsome nfl player. Or so I hear from my gf every GD time we play him.


Invasivetoast

My GF suddenly started cheering for the 49ers when they showed the qbs in the superbowl


yungchoppa23

Not even close to top 5


user_bits

Top 32 for sure.


Henfrid

Maybe even top 30


mrsparkyboi69

Or even top 25


IceLantern

Gets downvoted for telling the truth.


Kirk-Joestar

Right? Like Mahomes, Lamar, Wilson, Brees, Garoppolo? Does that sound right to anyone?


[deleted]

Well, yes, he would definitely come after the first four!


varnell_hill

Definitely not top five. You got a strong argument for top ten though.


Mr__Snek

ITT: people not realizing that 5-15 means the numbers between 5 and 15, not that he might be top 5.


WalksWithKemba

Yes we know, but is he ready to mingle?


[deleted]

Not with the likes of us


humphreygrungus

Can't pull off shorts like Allen tho


JVance95

I’m sure Jimmy is pulling off plenty of shorts 😏


commentcommenced

Nice 😏


RKRagan

You mean like Minshew tho https://i.imgur.com/kjGntuq.jpg


JustASexyKurt

Well, Adam, in case you hadn't noticed... Jimmy is incredibly handsome. Ridiculously handsome. "If Brando and Valentino Eiffel Towered a baby into Henry Cavill and that baby was born nine months later with a full, luscious head of perfectly coiffed hair and a perfect six pack, James Richard Garoppolo is what that baby would look like" Handsome. "Lost his virginity before he lost his first tooth" handsome. Hell, he's "I spent the first hour and twenty minutes of The Layover irrationally furious that William H. Macy didn't try to cast Jimmy Garoppolo as the male lead, because then I actually could have bought that here was a guy who could score with Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario in the same night, and then I spent the last eight minutes rationally furious that I'd just spent an hour and a half watching The Layover." handsome. Do you think the city of Cleveland would appreciate that jawline, that looks like it was painstakingly chiselled by the hands of God himself? Do you think the reporters out there would get lost in his eyes during press conferences, daydreaming about having a picnic with him on a rowboat on a pristine blue lake in the middle of the summer? They wouldn't. They couldn't. If Cleveland appreciated the beauty of all God's creation, it wouldn't look like Cleveland. Now San Francisco? I knew that fanbase would appreciate Jimmy for the everything he brings to the table: His football IQ, his immense masculine beauty, his natural sandalwood musk... I miss him already. Damn it, someone call Tom in here. Tell him I need a hug. • ⁠Probably Bill Belichick's full, unedited statement on the Jimmy G Trade Absolutely not my own work, [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/7jvm0a/schefter_with_browns_begging_for_jimmy_garoppolo/dr9o1go/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is the original piece of genius for you to admire.


dan_144

I'm not gay but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Jimmy G. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Jimmy. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then he'll go inside, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.


popmurtha

I'm sure it's awesome being so good looking that it's one of the first things people think about when your name comes up... BUT.. I also could imagine that would get, idk, old? annoying? when you've spent your life trying to be good at this one job (QB) and it's seemingly never the thing people mention first. Even his Top-100 player segment did this!


AyaseKST

Most people like being praised for what they do, yeah. He looks better than he throws. There are better players with worse things associated with them though. Or imagine being so ugly it precedes any discussion.


Pseudorealizm

It sucks but you get used to it.


han-s0lo

Geez like 50% of the Twitter comments are homophobic.


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Titsmcgeethethree

one of the main reasons I stopped using twitter. 9/10 people on that site are just garbage human beings that post nothing but the most disgusting, toxic shit


jtmackay

Imagine all the complaining that would happen if jimmy g was a girl and guys brought up how pretty she is. Jimmy G is more than a pretty face... god damn it!


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weamz

That's the real reason why Brady wanted Jimmy gone.


sktchld

Shocked Pikachu face.


no11fan

Says a lot that he didn’t say something like “he’s doing really well in practice” or “he has improved a lot.” He went straight for the only positive that he could muster. Edit : adding /s before the downvotes come in from people who couldn’t tell that this was an obvious joke


DuckDrunkLove

lol I think you're reading too much into this obvious joke


no11fan

Likewise


Dukakis2020

Would be the first time he wasn’t lying about something


[deleted]

Ok he's gay.


DuckDrunkLove

Found Thom Brennaman's account


MirusMe

Everyone’s gay when it comes to Jimmy.


joe_broke

There are no lies in this comment


I-am-ShitBoy

That’s right: Garoppolo Activates Yearning ^...wait...


Lil_Dirty

They say it's better to have loved and lost.. but I still love.


gomugomunorocket42

Jimmy GQ


NickBosaSacksYou

Has there ever been a more handsome player than him in NFL history? Genuinely asking


Soren_Camus1905

Confirmed: Handsome


FreeGums

hey funboys... get a room


Tie_me_off

It’s distracting as an opponent...or fan...or any living creature


ADHDDDDDDDD

Started reading the comments and a couple minutes later I'm like wtf sub am i in?


digitalamish

It’s not gay if he’s your QB.