By - MrBonelessPizza24
I never realized how large moose really are. Holy moly.
That's not even a big one. Most people think of Moose as big deer, but in reality they're more like small elephants.
Yeah, imagine hitting one of those fuckers going 50mph
Damn mooses are fast
Is the legit term? I’ve periodically been curious about this but not enough to do simple research on it
moose is singular and plural. meese is the unofficial term for multiple moose
It's the moose interesting thing i've learned today
Hooves you learned anything else today though really?
I've learned that they're a very secretive species. They prefer to remain as anonymoose as possible.
I also heard that they tend to be party animals and love playing games - their favorite game? Truth or Deer.
I'll see myself out.
The moose you know!
I felt I might add- we only ever hear the term "lice" when it comes to the bugs that live in our hair. A singular one is called a "louse". I always found that funny lol
They call it delousing not deliceing which is also weird since you want to get rid of more than one
Yep. Also the adjective "Lousy." Like, "that's a lousy deal for Greg," this is where the term comes from. The deal is full of lice.
I like moose is such a good word. A herd of moosen is even better
In the woodsen!!!
I saw a flock of MOOSEN... there are many of them, many much moosen, out in the woods, in the wood-es, in the woodsen!
You’re an idiot Brian
Moose meese. Checks out
Drop a deuce. Drop some deece.
[if it's able to move through snow this fast, imagine how fast they can run on dry land](https://youtu.be/6GEhM2Byk7w)
This video comes to mind whenever I think of moose. An absolute unit.
They are like an apex-herbivore or something. They biggest, meanest plant eater around with no predators able to really fuck with them. (till they get old or wounded)
They also just always seem to be vibing on their solo trek through the beautiful snowy landscape.
The biggest enemy of moose right now is ticks! They’re decimating moose populations in the northern US, basically draining them dry causing them to waste away. It’s due to warmer winters causing more ticks to survive through to spring. There’s a video somewhere if you want me to find it!
That's crazy to hear. Lets hope they adapt. I literally saw a video on reddit today of a bird hopping around on a deer's head eating ticks and the deer was just chilling. So maybe possible nature solutions!
I believe they are some of the last of N.A's "megafauna" which mostly disappeared a couple of tens of thousands years ago. So yeah, they are definitely aptly called apex-herbivores lol
I believe their only bad matchup is Orca.
They're so Quebecer lol I love it. "Je capote man"
The one that bit my sister was going at least 50mph
Mind you moose bites can be pretty nasty
Wi not trei a holiday in Sweden this yër?
Used to work in car rental. We would have a couple renters die each year hitting a moose at speed. Those things weigh 1200-1500 pounds easily and as you can see a car is going right under it so the body hits the windshield ..
I have friends outside of Anchorage. They regularly get moose that were hit by cars or struck by trains. There is a list that the government has of people who wants the moose and they call around until someone answers the phone. These animals have an incredible amount of meat on them. They also use the bones for broth, chicken feed, food for the dogs. Everything.
It's a testament to how big they are that there's a salvageable amount of meat left after getting hit by a train.
A Canadian friend always told me, never wish to see a Moose. If you do, you’re likely driving and it is charging to cross the road, and you’re about to die. That has stuck with me ever since.
He was exaggerating.
I've seen dozens. They're majestic.
I've also seen two people hit them at highway speeds... that, he was telling the truth about.
There are many roads in Canada where you are more likely to see a moose than another human.
I saw the aftermath of a small car hitting an elk at 80, the car looked like a giant claw had scraped the top half off. Elk are half the size of moose.
[I hit a comparatively small deer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqyMjmNPXrk) at highway speeds a few months ago. It fucking *sucked*. I'd imagine hitting a moose or elk would be a death sentence.
Yikes. I've hit seven or eight and the damage they do is amazing, I had one turn straight on and I accordioned it, it was bad. Turkey might be the worst, it's like hitting a thirty pound feathered bowling ball. They go straight through the grill and destroy the hot engine.
>Turkey might be the worst, it's like hitting a thirty pound feathered bowling ball. They go straight through the grill and destroy the hot engine.
Oh that's a fun new fear.
I drive big vehicles with very solid frames. Deer and elk and bears don't scare me. Moose do.
my buddy lost his dad after he hit a moose
Been in car that hit a moose going about 70km per hour. The fucker flew right over the car since it was so tall so we mostly just hit it's legs. Saved our lives but totalled the car. Like just the bottom of his body hit the top of the car as it flew over and shattered the windshield and crumpled the top of the car almost completely on top of us. We managed to worm our way out and call someone since it was butt fuck no were in Canada. So very very close to death that day
big enough to unintentionally derail trains occasionally
[Don't have to.](https://ibb.co/XkVRHgm)
Luckily it was a small moose and didn't take out the cab.
Truth. A "big deer" is an elk. Moose are the spiritual successors to whoolly mammoths.
Even elk are enormous though. Seeing them in person when you have something to gauge their height against is surreal.
Everytime I've ever seen a moose on Reddit someone says "that's not even a big one." I need to see a big one
Fully grown meeses can be 7 ft (2.1m) tall at the shoulder. They're ice age mammals that managed to survive
Or perhaps more accurately, they're mammals the ice age failed to survive.
What? No. The ice age ended because natural processes decided it was time for it to end, and it drastically changed the environment. Cold temperatures put an environmental pressure on mammals to get big. Then the ice age ended, and the warming temperatures killed off the larger mammals, because warmer temperatures favor smaller mammals. Moose managed to survive the warming and continue to thrive.
Edit: I've had some beers and didn't realize they were joking. But I'm leaving this up because bad ass moose facts
I may not have been entirely serious. :)
This ones shoulders are only a little taller than the trucks hood. On the larger side they would be over the roof.
Yo what the fuck for real?
Okay thats fucking ridiculous
You can find some pics & videos online. A truly big one is almost 2.5m(~8ft) from the ground to it's shoulder, so including head, neck, and antlers it's a little under 3m (12ft) tall.
Oh, and easily over 1,500lbs (around 0.7 tons).
[Here you go!](https://images.wideopenspaces.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/bigmoose1-1-630x344.jpg)
The legendary photo
Sometimes in the shop I work at we'll get a semi that has a moose guard. The guard goes above the edge of the hood. Bars are the size of a woman's arm in diameter. A big moose at full height will still be taller than the guard and if you hit it going fast enough, it didn't matter how strong the guard is. Its still going through and destroying the engine bay.
Yup, it’s much safer to swerve around a moose if you can because if not it would be like crashing into a brick wall.
More like running into some toothpicks, which then drop a 2,000 lb boulder directly on your windshield.
Modern cars could do a decent job of protecting you in a head-on collision with something as heavy as a moose. It's their tendency to go straight through the windshield that makes moose collisions so dangerous.
A brick wall that then falls on tops of your car, unless you're in a lifted truck or semi
Their only natural predator are killer whales.
That’s not true wolves will take a moose so will a big bear
That’s probably a 6 foot moose at its front shoulders judging by the trash cans. It’s pretty big dude.
While it's true, he's not a record sized one, the clowns in here acting like that one is tiny are annoying.
That's a pretty damn good sized bull. Well over 7ft tall with his head up.
I was walking my dog down at the river and this moose moved its head outta the bushes right by the trail couple feet from me and i swear to god i thought it was a dinosaur, like that scene from JP with the raptors at the end. "Clever Girl" scared the shit outta me
A møøse once bit my sister...
I’ve been told “møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti”.
I had a similar encounter with an excavator, fucking thing lifted its bucket from behind a tree line and for a split second I had an instinctual urge to freeze so it didn't see me. Felt stupid as fuck afterwards.
On the upside, maybe I would survive a Skynet style post Judgement Day world.
That's a baby compaired to this one
That video blows my mind every time I watch it. What an absolute beast.
You seent the video of the moose running through snow?? Goin through chest deep snow like it's packing peanuts.
Only surviving species of North American Mega-Fauna
Of all nature's forest creatures, this is the one that will go super out of it's way to fuck you up.
Meeting moose in the woods was almost a biweekly occurrence when I grew up. There's an old moose-track going right through my parents house, and they are too stupid too realize they have to make a new one so every other day there's a moose in the dog fence roaming about a couple of minutes before they go off. Dog doesn't mind. Moose doesn't mind.
Moose are not aggressive animals. They can attack if stressed or in rut, but they will not go out of their way to hurt you and are plenty happy with having you chased away. Unless there's a very big difference between the American and European population I call bullshit on this.
That isn't to say you shouldn't be careful.
The first time I saw a moose in person, I couldn’t believe the size of it. Fucking majestic
Thinking the same thing. They are beautiful creatures.
Living in Alaska is quite the experience when it comes to moose.
You just simply do not bother them, both because it's illegal to hunt them without a permit, and because, well, look at it.
'Moose in driveway' is a perfectly valid excuse for being late to work.
Can confirm. Have legitimately had to use this excuse and I live in the city where moose are less common.
They're still pretty common, but they're *less common*
>They're still pretty common, but they're less common
Wait hold up. Are you telling me that I could be strolling down the CBD to get an overpriced matcha latte from Starbucks... AND I COULD GET ATTACKED BY AN ANGRY AND POSSIBLY HORNY BEHEMOTH
Had 3 moose walk down a main street where coffee shacks, outdoor bars, and drive thrus were very common along it.
People just went around the moose.
>Had 3 moose walk down a main street where coffee shacks, outdoor bars, and drive thrus were very common along it.
>People just went around the moose.
It bothers and fascinates me that you're describing all of this matter-of-factly.
I'd probably do the same thing... whilst needing new pants right afterwards.
It's just part of the unspoken laws of the road. Ex, small sedan typically yields to the larger trucks, everybody yields to 18 wheelers...
Well, everybody, including the 18 wheelers, yield to the moose.
Don't take my lightheartedness for granted though. It definitely takes some getting used to. My first few times coming up on moose on hiking trails, it was very difficult to not just yell "oh FUCK, there's a MOOOOSE!"
I stopped caring when I told an alaskan native there was a moose ON the trail ahead, they shrugged their shoulders, and kept running. Towards the moose. I just fucking got away lmao
Posted about it before but going to school in Alaska is getting more than one lesson about how to survive your bus stop.
A lot of rural Alaska is just woods. I've seen meese, bears, and some pretty angry geese just trying to get to school. This woulda been the 90s but I can't imagine that much has changed around Eagle River.
I have a friend who just left Eagle River last year.
Her teenager was late to work and hopped in a stranger’s house a couple of times due to bears and moose. “I need to get her more bear spray,” sounded like she was putting eggs and milk on the shopping list.
I first read your comment as the geese were angrily travelling to school and thought "Can't blame them really".
Well you almost interrupted his hunt. I hope he got it.
In the telling of a survival story in a book called Hatchet. The guy retells a moose coming out of nowhere and stomping him into a river, nearly drowning him and repeatedly coming down on him until he pretended to be dead. Then a tornado came not long after. His thoughts after the tornado?
"I hope that fucker moose is dead"
I read that book as a kid over and over. I need to reread it.
Thank you for bringing this book back up in my memories. I read it in school but it was one of those books I was so fascinated by that I actually read the whole book before the rest of the class.
Definitely giving it a read again soon. Since you reminded me/suggested me a book, I'll throw out my own suggestion to anyone reading this. My all time favorite book is called Alas, Babylon, by Pat Frank. Have read it multiple times.
I think I have a different understanding of "CBD" and I am confused.
Central business district
I visited Alaska and was freaking out being within 20 feet of a bald eagle, can't imagine being this close to a huge fuck off moose
The moose, for the most part, will leave you alone if you leave them alone. A lot of hiking trails here in Alaska will have moose just 10 or 15 feet off the trail, just standing in bushes or in streams of water. As long as you leave them alone, they won't bother you.
But if you see moose with their calf, do NOT continue past them. They're the exception lol
I thought the males get way aggressive during mating season as well?
"Way" aggressive might be an overstatement. They're definitely more irritable during that 2ish month period, but it's just a matter of instead of walking past the moose that are 15 feet off the trail, you instead turn around or find a way to put more distance between the two of you.
They're not so overly aggressive to the point that they'll attack on sight or anything. That would only happen if you're not paying attention and turn a blind corner to be faced with a bull, cow, and their calf. They'll definitely attack on sight in that situation.
But yeah, it's just paying more attention to the moose during rutting season instead of just ignoring them and walking past.
I was able to bring a moose within 75 yards by racking a willow bush with a paddle and grunting, to say moose are aggressive during the rut is an understatement. They are ready to fight rival bulls (male moose) to the death for the right to breed with sexually mature cows (female moose). Even mimicking the sound of a cow in heat will bring moose from over a km away, they have incredible hearing thanks to their racks.
[moose fighting in alaska suburb](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M26ug8MGYlY)
thing i like, about 1:14 in, you see the cars backed up at the stop sign. no one is honking, they are just all settled that they are going to have to wait til the moose are done.
Those things legitimately make a car look small
Yeah they have some crazy ground clearance. No wonder they can move so quickly through deep snow.
Alaska is fucking sweet. I remember seeing so many bald eagles in Homer it was like seeing pigeons in NYC.
Don't even have to go that far North. Here in NW Washington they're more numerous than common hawks. There's a pair in my backyard right now. I've ran over one going around a highway offramp in the dark.
> I've ran over one going around a highway offramp in the dark.
*sad America noises*
We have a good number in MN and WI. They really brought back the numbers at the rapter centers.
This one time my wife and I were driving past a field and in it lay a dead deer. There had to have been about a dozen bald eagles at the carcass, scaring off about another dozen or more of turkey vultures. And then the uncountable number of ravens flying in waiting for whatever scraps the bald eagles and turkey vultures would leave behind. I've never seen anything like it.
Edit: spelling is hard
Lived in Anchorage between age 12 and 25, it was funny how basically no matter how often it was used, "Moose is blocking >road/sidewalk/path to work/school" was never really questioned.
I wasn't warned of this, and walking to school one day, half awake, almost literally walked into one when I came around a corner with a huge bush on it. I got lucky it wasn't a mama with babies nearby. This one just kinda lazily stopped eating, looked at me a sec, then went back to eating. Lol I almost shit
Moose took a disliking to my car. Telecommuting for a while.
"So... what kinda mileage you getting on that thing?"
What’s the conversion from horsepower to moosepower?
You lose some speed but gain a fuck ton of power
Wow, apparently they hold similar stats. It doesn't look like a Moose can simply outclass a Horse.
Hmm. I doubt the scource. Might be from an anti moose, pro horse lobby.
Its been a nasty war between those two.
5 MPG - that's moose per gallon
“Do you have a moment to talk about your car warranty?”
Never should’ve given him that muffin
Darn, beat me to it
Or a pig a pancake
Or a cat a cupcake
Or dog a doughnut
The antlers look sooooo velvety
Right now they are. In a couple months the velvet will be hanging off in bloody rags, and the bulls will be...irritable.
Antlers are so fuckin weird
My partner didn’t know deer and moose shed their velvet and antlers (she lived on a farm in Texas and was only around goats) and she FREAKED out when I showed her what happens when they shed 😂😂
I think most people don't realize how often they shed their horns.
Horns don’t shed, antlers do.
Horn is made of ceratin, same as finger nails and hooves. Antlers are bone, and are shed.
Seems like it should be the other way around.
When natural selection pulls the ol switcheroo
Wait how is a bone being shed ? Doesn't that mean a bone is falling off and then regrowing ?
I guess teeth kind of do that?
No, you’re born with both sets of teeth. If you want nightmare fuel, look up toddler skull.
Yeah, the battle of the five armies would have looked a bit different if it took place when the Thranduil's mount was between antlers.
If you check the time of year it happened, it *should* have been between antlers.
This guy Tolkiens.
The Atlantic had an article the other day about how weird they are
I’d be afraid to open the door and stare at him- aren’t they fairly easy to anger? They kind of have a rep for being silly-looking, but up close like that, it’s actually a beautiful animal
It depends on the mating season, Moose tend to become much more aggressive to the point where they’ll attack on sight sometimes. Otherwise they’re typically docile unless threatened
You gonna give us all that, but not when mating season is?
It's always mating season if you're brave enough
The rut is in the fall
They kill more people each year than bears. They kick too, better to not stand behind them like this.
Don't they also tend to get prions and go absolutely fucking ballistic?
That slow turn to look at the camera and then what looked like a bit of a huff was 'Ok human, I acknowledge your existence but you ain't gonna do shit about it so leave me alone.'
That part made me scared and I stopped watching it. I held my breath and checked the sub I was in before I replayed it... But I was still nervous. I'm glad it was just cussing at them.
Moose bitch, get out the way!
Stop moosin around!
They are seriously huge, and aren't afraid of people (or cars, unfortunately, which is a problem)
I grew up in a part of Canada with lots of moose so I’m used to them but, if you’ve never seen a moose, and this one isn’t even a big moose, it’s kind of hard to imagine their size. If you compare them to a deer or cow, a moose is much larger. I think comparing them to a shorter giraffe(without the long neck) or small elephant is probably more accurate.
They are my most feared animal to come across if driving. If you’re in a car and hit a moose their legs are so long your hood takes them out at the knees and the moose lands on the roof of the car, squishing you inside. If you’re in a truck they’ll come straight through your windshield. If you hit one you’re fucked no matter what you’re driving.
Is it true what they said that if you’re about to hit a moose and have time to swerve then absolutely do it, but I’d it’s a deer then your odds (and car damage) are better to hit the deer than to swerve?
On average a white tail weighs about 150-200lbs, a moose weighs between 700-1500lbs, a deer will do SIGNIFICANTLY less damage, however thats not what you asked, if i had to choose between hitting a moose at highway speeds, or putting my car off the road and into a ditch id choose the ditch, if i was going into the trees or something id probably try and swerve around it while staying on the road as much as possible but thats easier said than done
I wonder if anyone has ever tried to saddle one?
I can think of less painful ways to commit suicide.
Fun fact: there’s a lumberjack in BC who raised a moose, which comes back every year and helps pull logs for him
This is such a Canadian sentence.
My grandpa lives outside of Soldotna. He raised a moose whose mother was hit by a car. It doesn't haul logs or anything, but it is fun to feed, and acts very much like a dog.
Still very dangerous of course so we were only allowed to pet him from a porch that is taller than him. But my grandpa walks around with him and talks to him all day. He'll even sort of play fetch. Although he gets bored of it very quickly.
I am jealous of your grandpa.
Probably not twice
Not only did they try to sale one but also 1,500 moose cavalrymen were trained for service in the Winter War of 1939 and 1940. Machine guns were supposedly mounted to the antlers of the moose.
This sounds made up and I'm too lazy to Google it.
So April fool's joke, got it.
I was too lazy to even read that link, thanks for the tl;dr friend
In high school we used to play this stupid game called “touch the moose.” It was Alaska.
He's tempting fate not keeping a large amount of distance since that thing could run through both sides of his house without flinching
Not all houses are built to Texas standards
Some even have power that doesn't go tits up all the time.
As the Canadians would say, "A moose is loose in the hoose, eh"
You be shoosh
New pet moose!
More like you’re that moose’s new pet human
This one is actually quite small for moose
Judging by how tall it is relative to the car, and how the camera is level with the ass, this moose is far from being an absolute unit.
It’s the mooses garage now.
A møøse bit my sister
It took way to long to find this comment
*We apologize for the fault in these comments. The people responsible have been sacked.*
Slapp his ass
Yeah that’s a carport, not a garage, but sure.
Also: funniest “oh look it’s a moose moment?” Working the front desk at the Holiday Inn Express near the Anchorage airport, early morning, only a couple people down in the lobby for free breakfast. Hear a clopping sound after the telltale blast of cold air and think it’s someone with a busted piece of luggage or something. Nope, it’s a moose, making a slow beeline for the continental breakfast.
That was a fun morning.
Need the rest of the details....what happened? How did you get it out or did it just leave by itself? Did it try to ride in the elevator? Hit the pool for a quick dip??
Many much moosen in the woodsen
Aren’t they aggressive?
Depends on the season. They might just stare at you or they might just run you down. I would consider moose more dangerous than black bears.