T O P
super_cheeky

I never realized how large moose really are. Holy moly.


RaZeR_Moose

That's not even a big one. Most people think of Moose as big deer, but in reality they're more like small elephants.


Paddlesons

Yeah, imagine hitting one of those fuckers going 50mph


toeofcamell

Damn mooses are fast


jose-conseco

Meese


New_Hawaialawan

Is the legit term? I’ve periodically been curious about this but not enough to do simple research on it


Immortal2017

moose is singular and plural. meese is the unofficial term for multiple moose


backpack_of_suits77

It's the moose interesting thing i've learned today


cockapooch

Hooves you learned anything else today though really?


uscdoc2013

I've learned that they're a very secretive species. They prefer to remain as anonymoose as possible. I also heard that they tend to be party animals and love playing games - their favorite game? Truth or Deer. ... I'll see myself out.


Gatsu871113

The moose you know!


Solemn__Visitor

I felt I might add- we only ever hear the term "lice" when it comes to the bugs that live in our hair. A singular one is called a "louse". I always found that funny lol


[deleted]

They call it delousing not deliceing which is also weird since you want to get rid of more than one


Beaesse

Yep. Also the adjective "Lousy." Like, "that's a lousy deal for Greg," this is where the term comes from. The deal is full of lice.


jayteazer

I like moose is such a good word. A herd of moosen is even better


Pipebendingfool

“Moosin!”


crotchcritters

Moosen


Klipschfan1

In the woodsen!!!


Helllcamino

I saw a flock of MOOSEN... there are many of them, many much moosen, out in the woods, in the wood-es, in the woodsen!


Slickwats4

You’re an idiot Brian


yagsicire

MOOSEN!!!


tb23tb23tb23

Many much!


avocadoclock

Goose geese. Moose meese. Checks out


HurtsToSmith

Drop a deuce. Drop some deece. Yup!


PenguinSunday

Moosen


Nigel_11

Boxen


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BumpyGums

Meeses.


[deleted]

[if it's able to move through snow this fast, imagine how fast they can run on dry land](https://youtu.be/6GEhM2Byk7w)


Shhutthefrontdoor

This video comes to mind whenever I think of moose. An absolute unit.


Flincher14

They are like an apex-herbivore or something. They biggest, meanest plant eater around with no predators able to really fuck with them. (till they get old or wounded) They also just always seem to be vibing on their solo trek through the beautiful snowy landscape.


etsprout

The biggest enemy of moose right now is ticks! They’re decimating moose populations in the northern US, basically draining them dry causing them to waste away. It’s due to warmer winters causing more ticks to survive through to spring. There’s a video somewhere if you want me to find it!


Flincher14

That's crazy to hear. Lets hope they adapt. I literally saw a video on reddit today of a bird hopping around on a deer's head eating ticks and the deer was just chilling. So maybe possible nature solutions!


hotpatootie69

I believe they are some of the last of N.A's "megafauna" which mostly disappeared a couple of tens of thousands years ago. So yeah, they are definitely aptly called apex-herbivores lol


gahlo

I believe their only bad matchup is Orca.


scoops22

They're so Quebecer lol I love it. "Je capote man"


ooppoo0

The one that bit my sister was going at least 50mph


-mushroom-cat-

Mind you moose bites can be pretty nasty


yourfaceilikethat

Møøse


TotakekeSlider

Wi not trei a holiday in Sweden this yër?


lovemesomewine

Used to work in car rental. We would have a couple renters die each year hitting a moose at speed. Those things weigh 1200-1500 pounds easily and as you can see a car is going right under it so the body hits the windshield ..


Sarangrave

I have friends outside of Anchorage. They regularly get moose that were hit by cars or struck by trains. There is a list that the government has of people who wants the moose and they call around until someone answers the phone. These animals have an incredible amount of meat on them. They also use the bones for broth, chicken feed, food for the dogs. Everything.


CankerLord

It's a testament to how big they are that there's a salvageable amount of meat left after getting hit by a train.


DarkTrebleZero

A Canadian friend always told me, never wish to see a Moose. If you do, you’re likely driving and it is charging to cross the road, and you’re about to die. That has stuck with me ever since.


ThatisJustNotTrue

He was exaggerating. I've seen dozens. They're majestic. I've also seen two people hit them at highway speeds... that, he was telling the truth about.


FoliageTeamBad

There are many roads in Canada where you are more likely to see a moose than another human.


eristicforfun

I saw the aftermath of a small car hitting an elk at 80, the car looked like a giant claw had scraped the top half off. Elk are half the size of moose.


SgtBanana

[I hit a comparatively small deer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqyMjmNPXrk) at highway speeds a few months ago. It fucking *sucked*. I'd imagine hitting a moose or elk would be a death sentence.


eristicforfun

Yikes. I've hit seven or eight and the damage they do is amazing, I had one turn straight on and I accordioned it, it was bad. Turkey might be the worst, it's like hitting a thirty pound feathered bowling ball. They go straight through the grill and destroy the hot engine.


SgtBanana

>Turkey might be the worst, it's like hitting a thirty pound feathered bowling ball. They go straight through the grill and destroy the hot engine. Oh that's a fun new fear.


sparr

I drive big vehicles with very solid frames. Deer and elk and bears don't scare me. Moose do.


againstMOSTthings

my buddy lost his dad after he hit a moose


dre224

Been in car that hit a moose going about 70km per hour. The fucker flew right over the car since it was so tall so we mostly just hit it's legs. Saved our lives but totalled the car. Like just the bottom of his body hit the top of the car as it flew over and shattered the windshield and crumpled the top of the car almost completely on top of us. We managed to worm our way out and call someone since it was butt fuck no were in Canada. So very very close to death that day


chi1idog

big enough to unintentionally derail trains occasionally


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WolframPrime

[Don't have to.](https://ibb.co/XkVRHgm) Luckily it was a small moose and didn't take out the cab.


Brennan_the_Artist

Truth. A "big deer" is an elk. Moose are the spiritual successors to whoolly mammoths.


kittenmittens4865

Even elk are enormous though. Seeing them in person when you have something to gauge their height against is surreal.


jwdjr2004

Everytime I've ever seen a moose on Reddit someone says "that's not even a big one." I need to see a big one


El_Chairman_Dennis

Fully grown meeses can be 7 ft (2.1m) tall at the shoulder. They're ice age mammals that managed to survive


-jp-

Or perhaps more accurately, they're mammals the ice age failed to survive.


El_Chairman_Dennis

What? No. The ice age ended because natural processes decided it was time for it to end, and it drastically changed the environment. Cold temperatures put an environmental pressure on mammals to get big. Then the ice age ended, and the warming temperatures killed off the larger mammals, because warmer temperatures favor smaller mammals. Moose managed to survive the warming and continue to thrive. Edit: I've had some beers and didn't realize they were joking. But I'm leaving this up because bad ass moose facts


-jp-

I may not have been entirely serious. :)


omnipotent87

This ones shoulders are only a little taller than the trucks hood. On the larger side they would be over the roof.


excelllentquestion

Yo what the fuck for real?


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excelllentquestion

Okay thats fucking ridiculous


RaZeR_Moose

You can find some pics & videos online. A truly big one is almost 2.5m(~8ft) from the ground to it's shoulder, so including head, neck, and antlers it's a little under 3m (12ft) tall. Oh, and easily over 1,500lbs (around 0.7 tons).


Sansho_Panza

[Here you go!](https://images.wideopenspaces.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/bigmoose1-1-630x344.jpg)


SolarSkipper

The legendary photo


ProfMcFarts

Sometimes in the shop I work at we'll get a semi that has a moose guard. The guard goes above the edge of the hood. Bars are the size of a woman's arm in diameter. A big moose at full height will still be taller than the guard and if you hit it going fast enough, it didn't matter how strong the guard is. Its still going through and destroying the engine bay.


A_VeryUniqueUsername

Yup, it’s much safer to swerve around a moose if you can because if not it would be like crashing into a brick wall.


Delta_V09

More like running into some toothpicks, which then drop a 2,000 lb boulder directly on your windshield. Modern cars could do a decent job of protecting you in a head-on collision with something as heavy as a moose. It's their tendency to go straight through the windshield that makes moose collisions so dangerous.


-mushroom-cat-

A brick wall that then falls on tops of your car, unless you're in a lifted truck or semi


Antares987

Their only natural predator are killer whales.


jose-conseco

That’s not true wolves will take a moose so will a big bear


iShoot556

That’s probably a 6 foot moose at its front shoulders judging by the trash cans. It’s pretty big dude.


Interested_Redditor

While it's true, he's not a record sized one, the clowns in here acting like that one is tiny are annoying. That's a pretty damn good sized bull. Well over 7ft tall with his head up.


Drafen

I was walking my dog down at the river and this moose moved its head outta the bushes right by the trail couple feet from me and i swear to god i thought it was a dinosaur, like that scene from JP with the raptors at the end. "Clever Girl" scared the shit outta me


LinearJunebug

A møøse once bit my sister...


ToastFromTexas

I’ve been told “møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti”.


El_Dief

I had a similar encounter with an excavator, fucking thing lifted its bucket from behind a tree line and for a split second I had an instinctual urge to freeze so it didn't see me. Felt stupid as fuck afterwards. On the upside, maybe I would survive a Skynet style post Judgement Day world.


Striking-Ferret8216

That's a baby compaired to this one https://youtu.be/HNfetnUwOUo


AnalBees2

That video blows my mind every time I watch it. What an absolute beast.


Zagjake

You seent the video of the moose running through snow?? Goin through chest deep snow like it's packing peanuts.


Traxathon

Only surviving species of North American Mega-Fauna


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Xx_Gandalf-poop_xX

Lol


Ruggedfancy

Of all nature's forest creatures, this is the one that will go super out of it's way to fuck you up.


Swictor

Meeting moose in the woods was almost a biweekly occurrence when I grew up. There's an old moose-track going right through my parents house, and they are too stupid too realize they have to make a new one so every other day there's a moose in the dog fence roaming about a couple of minutes before they go off. Dog doesn't mind. Moose doesn't mind. Moose are not aggressive animals. They can attack if stressed or in rut, but they will not go out of their way to hurt you and are plenty happy with having you chased away. Unless there's a very big difference between the American and European population I call bullshit on this. That isn't to say you shouldn't be careful.


Easy_Literature_887

The first time I saw a moose in person, I couldn’t believe the size of it. Fucking majestic


clarst16

Thinking the same thing. They are beautiful creatures.


Pojodan

Living in Alaska is quite the experience when it comes to moose. You just simply do not bother them, both because it's illegal to hunt them without a permit, and because, well, look at it. 'Moose in driveway' is a perfectly valid excuse for being late to work.


OneMoreTallDude

Can confirm. Have legitimately had to use this excuse and I live in the city where moose are less common. They're still pretty common, but they're *less common*


Agreeable49

>They're still pretty common, but they're less common Wait hold up. Are you telling me that I could be strolling down the CBD to get an overpriced matcha latte from Starbucks... AND I COULD GET ATTACKED BY AN ANGRY AND POSSIBLY HORNY BEHEMOTH


OneMoreTallDude

Yes. Had 3 moose walk down a main street where coffee shacks, outdoor bars, and drive thrus were very common along it. People just went around the moose.


Agreeable49

>Had 3 moose walk down a main street where coffee shacks, outdoor bars, and drive thrus were very common along it. >People just went around the moose. It bothers and fascinates me that you're describing all of this matter-of-factly. I'd probably do the same thing... whilst needing new pants right afterwards.


OneMoreTallDude

It's just part of the unspoken laws of the road. Ex, small sedan typically yields to the larger trucks, everybody yields to 18 wheelers... Well, everybody, including the 18 wheelers, yield to the moose. Don't take my lightheartedness for granted though. It definitely takes some getting used to. My first few times coming up on moose on hiking trails, it was very difficult to not just yell "oh FUCK, there's a MOOOOSE!" I stopped caring when I told an alaskan native there was a moose ON the trail ahead, they shrugged their shoulders, and kept running. Towards the moose. I just fucking got away lmao


dreadnoght

Posted about it before but going to school in Alaska is getting more than one lesson about how to survive your bus stop. A lot of rural Alaska is just woods. I've seen meese, bears, and some pretty angry geese just trying to get to school. This woulda been the 90s but I can't imagine that much has changed around Eagle River.


minicpst

I have a friend who just left Eagle River last year. Her teenager was late to work and hopped in a stranger’s house a couple of times due to bears and moose. “I need to get her more bear spray,” sounded like she was putting eggs and milk on the shopping list.


macgyver-me-this

I first read your comment as the geese were angrily travelling to school and thought "Can't blame them really".


Significant-Mud2572

Well you almost interrupted his hunt. I hope he got it.


OzNajarin

In the telling of a survival story in a book called Hatchet. The guy retells a moose coming out of nowhere and stomping him into a river, nearly drowning him and repeatedly coming down on him until he pretended to be dead. Then a tornado came not long after. His thoughts after the tornado? "I hope that fucker moose is dead"


Stupid_Triangles

I read that book as a kid over and over. I need to reread it.


OneMoreTallDude

Thank you for bringing this book back up in my memories. I read it in school but it was one of those books I was so fascinated by that I actually read the whole book before the rest of the class. Definitely giving it a read again soon. Since you reminded me/suggested me a book, I'll throw out my own suggestion to anyone reading this. My all time favorite book is called Alas, Babylon, by Pat Frank. Have read it multiple times.


profound_whatever

I think I have a different understanding of "CBD" and I am confused.


bhamjason

Central business district


kai-ol

I visited Alaska and was freaking out being within 20 feet of a bald eagle, can't imagine being this close to a huge fuck off moose


OneMoreTallDude

The moose, for the most part, will leave you alone if you leave them alone. A lot of hiking trails here in Alaska will have moose just 10 or 15 feet off the trail, just standing in bushes or in streams of water. As long as you leave them alone, they won't bother you. But if you see moose with their calf, do NOT continue past them. They're the exception lol


jontss

I thought the males get way aggressive during mating season as well?


OneMoreTallDude

"Way" aggressive might be an overstatement. They're definitely more irritable during that 2ish month period, but it's just a matter of instead of walking past the moose that are 15 feet off the trail, you instead turn around or find a way to put more distance between the two of you. They're not so overly aggressive to the point that they'll attack on sight or anything. That would only happen if you're not paying attention and turn a blind corner to be faced with a bull, cow, and their calf. They'll definitely attack on sight in that situation. But yeah, it's just paying more attention to the moose during rutting season instead of just ignoring them and walking past.


above_thetreeline

I was able to bring a moose within 75 yards by racking a willow bush with a paddle and grunting, to say moose are aggressive during the rut is an understatement. They are ready to fight rival bulls (male moose) to the death for the right to breed with sexually mature cows (female moose). Even mimicking the sound of a cow in heat will bring moose from over a km away, they have incredible hearing thanks to their racks.


powercow

[moose fighting in alaska suburb](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M26ug8MGYlY) thing i like, about 1:14 in, you see the cars backed up at the stop sign. no one is honking, they are just all settled that they are going to have to wait til the moose are done.


Magik95

Those things legitimately make a car look small


kmartburrito

Yeah they have some crazy ground clearance. No wonder they can move so quickly through deep snow.


walkingdead17

Alaska is fucking sweet. I remember seeing so many bald eagles in Homer it was like seeing pigeons in NYC.


BlueFalcon142

Don't even have to go that far North. Here in NW Washington they're more numerous than common hawks. There's a pair in my backyard right now. I've ran over one going around a highway offramp in the dark.


MarcBulldog88

> I've ran over one going around a highway offramp in the dark. *sad America noises*


Badbullet

We have a good number in MN and WI. They really brought back the numbers at the rapter centers. This one time my wife and I were driving past a field and in it lay a dead deer. There had to have been about a dozen bald eagles at the carcass, scaring off about another dozen or more of turkey vultures. And then the uncountable number of ravens flying in waiting for whatever scraps the bald eagles and turkey vultures would leave behind. I've never seen anything like it. Edit: spelling is hard


Dry_Presentation_197

Lived in Anchorage between age 12 and 25, it was funny how basically no matter how often it was used, "Moose is blocking >road/sidewalk/path to work/school" was never really questioned. I wasn't warned of this, and walking to school one day, half awake, almost literally walked into one when I came around a corner with a huge bush on it. I got lucky it wasn't a mama with babies nearby. This one just kinda lazily stopped eating, looked at me a sec, then went back to eating. Lol I almost shit


ChefILove

Moose took a disliking to my car. Telecommuting for a while.


AlienSporez

"So... what kinda mileage you getting on that thing?"


toeofcamell

What’s the conversion from horsepower to moosepower?


courtesyflusher

You lose some speed but gain a fuck ton of power


VoTBaC

Wow, apparently they hold similar stats. It doesn't look like a Moose can simply outclass a Horse. https://www.terrific-horses.com/moose-vs-horse/


superbuttpiss

Hmm. I doubt the scource. Might be from an anti moose, pro horse lobby. Its been a nasty war between those two.


bigjoffer

5 MPG - that's moose per gallon


DkHamz

“Do you have a moment to talk about your car warranty?”


RhodiumPl8ed

Never should’ve given him that muffin


Vencero_JG

Darn, beat me to it


[deleted]

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FrannyBoBanny23

Or a pig a pancake


saul1980

Or a cat a cupcake


SpeedingTourist

Or dog a doughnut


elpuyol

The antlers look sooooo velvety


MRRman89

Right now they are. In a couple months the velvet will be hanging off in bloody rags, and the bulls will be...irritable.


whos_this_chucker

Antlers are so fuckin weird


Thunder_Cody

My partner didn’t know deer and moose shed their velvet and antlers (she lived on a farm in Texas and was only around goats) and she FREAKED out when I showed her what happens when they shed 😂😂


3-P7

I think most people don't realize how often they shed their horns.


Tarkov_Destiny_Love

Horns don’t shed, antlers do. Horn is made of ceratin, same as finger nails and hooves. Antlers are bone, and are shed.


FR0ZENBERG

Seems like it should be the other way around.


downvoteawayretard

When natural selection pulls the ol switcheroo


Dookie_boy

Wait how is a bone being shed ? Doesn't that mean a bone is falling off and then regrowing ?


LeviticusJobs

I guess teeth kind of do that?


Stargazer_199

No, you’re born with both sets of teeth. If you want nightmare fuel, look up toddler skull.


bendover912

Yeah, the battle of the five armies would have looked a bit different if it took place when the Thranduil's mount was between antlers.


non-troll_account

If you check the time of year it happened, it *should* have been between antlers.


yeah_yeah_therabbit

This guy Tolkiens.


IWantAPegasus

The Atlantic had an article the other day about how weird they are https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2022/08/deer-elk-shed-antlers-hunting/671021/


aboutlikecommon

I’d be afraid to open the door and stare at him- aren’t they fairly easy to anger? They kind of have a rep for being silly-looking, but up close like that, it’s actually a beautiful animal


TheDeafGuy8

It depends on the mating season, Moose tend to become much more aggressive to the point where they’ll attack on sight sometimes. Otherwise they’re typically docile unless threatened


Free2Bernie

You gonna give us all that, but not when mating season is?


lucanachname

It's always mating season if you're brave enough


shittmotel

The rut is in the fall


[deleted]

They kill more people each year than bears. They kick too, better to not stand behind them like this.


Rabid_Platypus_II

Don't they also tend to get prions and go absolutely fucking ballistic?


libra00

That slow turn to look at the camera and then what looked like a bit of a huff was 'Ok human, I acknowledge your existence but you ain't gonna do shit about it so leave me alone.'


nmsjtb0308

That part made me scared and I stopped watching it. I held my breath and checked the sub I was in before I replayed it... But I was still nervous. I'm glad it was just cussing at them.


gogopassive

Moose bitch, get out the way! ![gif](giphy|82dAwbJB3juj338r4T|downsized)


Random-Gif-Bot

​ ![gif](giphy|3AUD8dtObtYl4Gi4Vh)


Tinkerer221

Stop moosin around!


Whaffled

They are seriously huge, and aren't afraid of people (or cars, unfortunately, which is a problem)


ErmahgerdYuzername

I grew up in a part of Canada with lots of moose so I’m used to them but, if you’ve never seen a moose, and this one isn’t even a big moose, it’s kind of hard to imagine their size. If you compare them to a deer or cow, a moose is much larger. I think comparing them to a shorter giraffe(without the long neck) or small elephant is probably more accurate. They are my most feared animal to come across if driving. If you’re in a car and hit a moose their legs are so long your hood takes them out at the knees and the moose lands on the roof of the car, squishing you inside. If you’re in a truck they’ll come straight through your windshield. If you hit one you’re fucked no matter what you’re driving.


sweatshirtjones

Is it true what they said that if you’re about to hit a moose and have time to swerve then absolutely do it, but I’d it’s a deer then your odds (and car damage) are better to hit the deer than to swerve?


ChubbsPeddle

On average a white tail weighs about 150-200lbs, a moose weighs between 700-1500lbs, a deer will do SIGNIFICANTLY less damage, however thats not what you asked, if i had to choose between hitting a moose at highway speeds, or putting my car off the road and into a ditch id choose the ditch, if i was going into the trees or something id probably try and swerve around it while staying on the road as much as possible but thats easier said than done


ComprehensiveCake463

I wonder if anyone has ever tried to saddle one?


MRRman89

I can think of less painful ways to commit suicide.


TheDeafGuy8

Fun fact: there’s a lumberjack in BC who raised a moose, which comes back every year and helps pull logs for him


SpeedingTourist

This is such a Canadian sentence.


BoofingCheese

My grandpa lives outside of Soldotna. He raised a moose whose mother was hit by a car. It doesn't haul logs or anything, but it is fun to feed, and acts very much like a dog. Still very dangerous of course so we were only allowed to pet him from a porch that is taller than him. But my grandpa walks around with him and talks to him all day. He'll even sort of play fetch. Although he gets bored of it very quickly.


DigitalGarden

I am jealous of your grandpa.


asobersurvivor

Probably not twice


Hyena_King13

Not only did they try to sale one but also 1,500 moose cavalrymen were trained for service in the Winter War of 1939 and 1940. Machine guns were supposedly mounted to the antlers of the moose.


SupriseSubtext

This sounds made up and I'm too lazy to Google it.


Hyena_King13

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moose_cavalry


Surprise_Cucumber

So April fool's joke, got it.


rageturtle117

I was too lazy to even read that link, thanks for the tl;dr friend


iShoot556

In high school we used to play this stupid game called “touch the moose.” It was Alaska.


mrbossmajor

He's tempting fate not keeping a large amount of distance since that thing could run through both sides of his house without flinching


irregular_caffeine

Not all houses are built to Texas standards


Timah158

Some even have power that doesn't go tits up all the time.


SleepyFarts

As the Canadians would say, "A moose is loose in the hoose, eh"


macofbowen

You be shoosh


rodentfacedisorder

New pet moose!


moosenugget7

More like you’re that moose’s new pet human


Frixsev

r/AbsoluteUnits


generic_username-6

This one is actually quite small for moose


PowerObjective558

Judging by how tall it is relative to the car, and how the camera is level with the ass, this moose is far from being an absolute unit.


Cannacology

It’s the mooses garage now.


TrellSwnsn

A møøse bit my sister


AcceptableMistake7

It took way to long to find this comment


ZorkNemesis

*We apologize for the fault in these comments. The people responsible have been sacked.*


WhiskeyPorno420

Slapp his ass


Cash907

Yeah that’s a carport, not a garage, but sure. Also: funniest “oh look it’s a moose moment?” Working the front desk at the Holiday Inn Express near the Anchorage airport, early morning, only a couple people down in the lobby for free breakfast. Hear a clopping sound after the telltale blast of cold air and think it’s someone with a busted piece of luggage or something. Nope, it’s a moose, making a slow beeline for the continental breakfast. That was a fun morning.


Awesome_KC

Need the rest of the details....what happened? How did you get it out or did it just leave by itself? Did it try to ride in the elevator? Hit the pool for a quick dip??


hello_otz_this_is

Many much moosen in the woodsen


[deleted]

Aren’t they aggressive?


Miles_Adamson

Depends on the season. They might just stare at you or they might just run you down. I would consider moose more dangerous than black bears.