T O P

Doggy saves owner from vicious animal attack

Doggy saves owner from vicious animal attack

Slightlyunlucky

That freaking bird is relentless


AmazingSieve

Yea geese suck, they’re just naturally pissed off creatures


artessk

Angry fucking bitchin shittin motherfuckers Yes I was under attack by goose


Bishop120

You can get a little bit of satisfaction by watching that video where the goose goes to attack a horse and the horse just kicks it sending it flying and it just lays there dieing.


Csharp27

Went on a guided goose hunt a few years ago. Blasted those little shits into oblivion then ate them. I still feel like I should’ve done more.


VividLazerEyeGod

what do they taste like? ive never seen anyone mention goose meat


UniquelyIndistinct

It's delicious. It's a lot like roast beef. And it's guilt free, since it cost the world one fewer asshole.


mittensofmadness

Smoked goose is amazing as well. Mmmm now I'm hungry.


SardonicVampire

Are you serious? I've always wanted to eat goose but I was told the meat was gamey and didn't taste good.


mittensofmadness

Absolutely. My wife smokes them for special occasions, along with actually good turkeys (get an older bird, it's so much better than what you get at Kroger) and we do muscovy ducks as well. The post above me has it right: geese eat like beef with wings. It's great.


Ihateyouall86

I never wanted to try it but man you had me at roast beef.


UniquelyIndistinct

My brother-in-law made it for Christmas one year and I was sceptical, but when I tried it, I couldn't believe how similar it was.


Csharp27

It’s a darker meat, sort of like duck, but more like if roast beef and duck had a baby.


PotentPortable

I personally like the video where some person grabs it by the neck and yeets it into a pond


Hypn0T0ad82

Had one go at my 8 year old son at a local park, grabbed him by the neck and launched his ass as he scared my boy half to death. Absolutely love goose hunters as these birds are miserable assholes, and they are tasty! That dog needs a treat for the good work he is doing.


aggrivating_order

I'm shocked the dog didn't shred it, my dog will eat anything that moves


ButterPoptart

Yeah doggo was being super patient. He could have easily just ripped the things head off long before the second wave of attacks.


REmarkABL

labs are a bird dog breed, they have an instinct not to bite too hard, so they can fetch a bird without ruining it, well most of them anyway


Hypn0T0ad82

That’s a good dog


pauldeanbumgarner

Link?


TP_blitz

https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismetal/comments/nffx94/horse_kicks_goose_into_the_afterlife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


kittyjoker

Did you just link to a reddit post which linked to a youtube video


actuarial_venus

It's the thought that counts


Slightlyunlucky

Ouchhh


tepkel

Owwww my bones!


Donkeytown1134

Bone hurting goose


amahlaka

Take the upvote and go!


Slightlyunlucky

Dude check this out https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/5zgb9n/geese_are_the_asshole_teenagers_of_the_animal/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


7orly7

Condensated anger reincarnated


NickDanger3di

Swans. Never fuck with a mommy swan when it's chicks are anywhere nearby. When I was about 10 years old, I had one attack me, only missed getting hurt because I was holding a fishing rod to discourage her. Fuck swans.


AmazingSieve

When I worked at a golf course we despised Canadian geese, not like I didn’t hate them before. Evil angry things that crap everywhere and are territorial wherever they go.


netsloth

If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me. And I suggest you let that one marinate.


No_UI

Love letterkenny


not_sosharp

Anytime the Canadian goose is mentioned


Slightlyunlucky

Lol like me when i wake up. Wish i could do this too then lol


ThisIsOutrageous-

Goose are tame put next to blind war unicorns


rsdols

I reckon they're just angry/embarrassed because of the noise they make.


Fatal_Anal15

Geese*


Proper_Protickall

Canadian geese are worse man. Those fuckers will chase you down while hissing at you


luxeorion

if youse got a problem with Canadian gooses, youse got a problem with me. and I suggest you let that one marinate r/letterkenny


_Mircheeks

Waiting for an unwarranted apology.


DestructoSpin7

Not here, sorry.


jiggaboooojones

Any letterkenny reference gets my upvote


Ruenin

They're not Canadian. Plural is just Canada geese.


Proper_Protickall

Cobra chicken. Excuse me lol


xredgambitt

Canadian Goosen


DianeAsp

We put all our anger and rage into our geese. Sorry.


Shukoor-_-

Peace was never an option


Gasonfires

Doesn't even recognize that it's in a death grip if the dog wants it to be! Used to play golf with my dad at a nice resort. There was goose shit all over the greens and nothing to be done about it. Signs said you could move it if it was in your way but warned that taking a putter to a goose was a crime.


DonkeyK612

It’s a retriever - they only know how to bring back the bird intact lol. Lucky that wasn’t a GSD kill shake.


daveberzack

The goose just shrugs off the jaws of wolf teeth around its neck to continue harassing this guy. That's the real next level shit right there.


Glutenberg_Bible

Lol that dog is giving a very polite warning of "I can kill you right here and now if you don't knock it off" and the goose just does not care at all.


Tzki47

"your first mistake was not killing me when you had the chance" - that goose probably


a-snakey

THE GOOSE IS LOOSE


CanYouPointMeToTacos

It’s a down jacket, it’s out for revenge


sith_biscuit9761

Peace was never an option


Flat_Cockroach520

The dog is so gentle :D


Analbox

My dog would have killed it in one bite. He’d then playfully toss around the carcass for an hour so all the other geese can see what happens when you forget your place in the food chain.


BushyAbsolutely

My dog would probably just stare in confusion for a couple of minutes then try to hump the goose


ChrisLuigiTails

My cat would just sleep without care


German_Irish_chicken

My- wait I don’t have a pet


Mex3235

Oh German_irish_chicken you are my pet. I finally found you.


Arqesu

Ooo, kinky


German_Irish_chicken

Hol up


Officer_Lahey_420

Bad chickin


German_Irish_chicken

Hol up


yumko

Would you hump the goose yourself then?


German_Irish_chicken

Good question


Glutenberg_Bible

I once watched my cat jump out of a tree from like 10 feet off the ground and catch a crow, in flight, that was maybe 80% the size of my cat. I also have watched my cat not even stand up when a mouse ran right in front of him.


Werewolf978

Your cat catches fucking crows mid flight like some kind of spider monkey, you think a mouse is a challenge? Give that mouse some wings and give it knife, bet your cat is interested then...


horvath-lorant

Me too man, me too


BANANADUDEGAMER

Underrated comment


no_longer_sad

you'd hump a goose?


its_meme69

did he stutter?


3leftturn

Yeah my dog would have shredded it. She’s caught a rabbit a couple of times. It wasn’t pretty.


TonyHxC

my dogs like to team up and hunt mice in my yard. The husky will sniff them out in the ground and dig, the shit-zhu catches them as they run out and breaks their neck. I haven't actually seen a mouse in my yard in the last couple of years now tho lol. poor mice, they don't cause me any issues but can't stop dogs from being dogs :/


Analbox

My dogs hunt as a great team too. Beagle sniffs em out. Terrier burrows in quickly dispatches them all.


Scotch_hopkins

My Catahoula took out an entire family of groundhogs in the backyard of my college house. One by one, they all fell and she took out the big mama the week I graduated and we moved out. She was a bad bitch.


CrabHandsTheMan

What do you have? Labs (like the fella above appears to be) tend to have a strong drive to catch birds, but little inclination to hurt them. Especially if they’re trained for retrieval. I’ve got an enormous, year old chocolate lab next to me that will carry waterfowl like fine china, but will turn a raccoon into hamburger given the opportunity...


Analbox

Mine’s a Terrier mix. He’s got a strong drive to murder small animals. He doesn’t discriminate.


CrabHandsTheMan

Love a good terrier, tell him he’s the best boy for me would ya?


mittensofmadness

Yeah, this dog is just like "I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to be moving at this point, but I'll do my best".


ReneG8

I mean their double fur, their subcutaneous fat and their bred-in love for water has a reason. They're bred to be water retrievers (duh). My 13 year old yellow lab will carry around her plush toy all day for walkies if you let her. At the same time in her golden days she would chase down a rat, bite them to death and come to me, carrying the carcass, rat tail hanging out and all.


Awakened_Ra

My exact bloody thoughts there mate, I'd grab that twat and spinning it in front of all the other geese I'd give it another few tosses like me ole buddy there and show em' how it's done now, stupid, useless, unnecessary cunts, what purpose do they even serve?!?!?!?!?


Kittlebeanfluff

Wow, you've got some real goose issues don't ya?


Awakened_Ra

For an entire winter, those FUCKS, attacked me, even when I avoided them (Louisiana gets geese and pelicans at times, I do not know why geese come here) ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET, I wanted peace, NOTHING to do with them, just to let them be, but noooo, I'd run and kick, and I got so sick of it one day, I grabbed what I thought to be the "alpha" by the neck, and flung him into the lake, and THE TWAT KEPT COMING, so I threw him again and again till I was far enough that it had enough, bloody arm was sore from that fat fuck. Only reason I didn't go home soaked in blood was because kids were there and I was not about to traumatize them. FUCK those things, seriously, they are unnecessary, they can go extinct idfc, they aren't even a keystone species!!!! TF we need them around for!! They don't even like anyone or anything!! I hope they all die, fucking useless cunts.


poopy_poo_poopsicle

Did you try to bribe them with a peace offering abd become friends? Then you can unleash your geese allies on your arch enemies


gladl1

Yeah my dog would do that terrifying thing where the violently shake their heads from side to side while holding its neck


TJNel

I have 2 wolfhounds and the one would be like this dog, but the other would tear it to pieces. He has a huge prey drive and if a squirrel, bird, or rabbit is anywhere near he tries to get it. They are brothers but it's crazy how two genetically similar dogs have two different personality traits.


koookoookachoo

Please say you have a Chihuahua


Miguelito-Loveless

Perhaps one bite would do it. Perhaps not. I had two pet geese growing up, and they did get killed by the neighbor's German shepherd. The entire battle lasted nearly 5 minutes. The geese were alive but mortally wounded when we were able to separate the dog from our geese. A family member had to put the geese out of their misery. That battle was not one of my favorite memories from childhood.


Dayofsloths

Labs are bred for soft mouths, so they don't damage a hunter's kill when they retrieve it


acog

My first dog was a Lab. I heard from several friends about how they're famous for their soft mouths. I was unprepared for the fact that Labrador puppies (like all puppies) chew on everyone and everything with their puppy needle teeth. *Now* as an adult he's incredibly careful and gentle. But he was a terror as a puppy, lol.


Dayofsloths

The puppy phase is brutal lol, I just wore the same clothes around my pup because he was putting holes in all my shirts and chewing the cuffs of my pants.


OuterInnerMonologue

That's why is very vital to practice "hands are not toys" with puppies. Not all dogs have soft mouths, and habits as puppies become habbits as older dogs. anyone with a puppy should just practice distracting a teething puppy with a chew toy, when they go for someone's body or property. puppies are toddlers running around with scissors. They'll adorably terrorize everything


markjrey

Underated comment! that dogs great, protect the owner but not hurt the goose, level of balance of aggression a lot of people and police forces could learn a lot from.


lingualistic

Such a good doggo. I'm glad s/he didn't just slaughter the thing, despite it being RUDE AS HELL and waking up to choose VIOLENCE


Mycd

yeah, it could thrash or actualy bite down but instead handles like a annoying puppy. dogs with 'soft' mouths have this association its generally play instinct turned job


NoBullfrog4258

"Please get off my friend, there we go... n- no NO, I said get off please, dammit goose, you're not making this easy!"


farlos75

Labs have a thing called 'soft mouth'. Lots of gun dogs have to ability to grab something firmly and not so much as bruise it.


KingSpernce

That! I loved how it was not having it but wasn’t try to just destroy the bird. So interesting how animals have personalities.


mattemer

Yeah that goose didn't realize how precarious a position it was in because that was a great doggo and wasn't trying to hurt the goose.


gokaydinhasan

Wth is wrong with the goose dude someone on your neck and you still attack the human?


Corathecow

Geese are just so angry all the time. I love watching videos of geese being assholes. I have an app on computer that just lets a random geese come out and fuck up my Home Screen and be a dick to me. I love it Edit to add : no one has asked but [this is the game ](https://samperson.itch.io/desktop-goose) and it makes using my computer harder but really fun lol


Feedback_Loopius

i love the desktop goose haha ima go dig it up and mess around with it again


RoCapBG

Holy shit, I remember something similar in windows xp, this is really nostalgic.


InternetDetective122

BonziBuddy? The internet's most loved hated spyware/adware


_this_wasnt_taken_

You're probably talking about desktop destroyer , where we get a set of tools to destroy our screen lol , you get hammer, flamethrower, termites and shit. It was fun playing with it as a child


bassgoonist

Tl;dr dog may not be biting the bird much harder than it would when playing rough with a human Some dogs, especially retrievers, are known for being inherently calm, and having a "soft mouth" by nature, meaning they won't further maim the dead birds in the lake they're sent to fetch. It definitely varies at the individual level, but if this dog has both those traits it probably isn't too concerned, especially since the person filming probably isn't panicking since only their clothing is being bitten (and they took the time to film this...)


acog

> especially retrievers are known for being inherently calm, and having a "soft mouth" by nature, meaning they won't further maim the dead birds in the lake they're sent to fetch Exactly. If that dog had been a terrier (bred to hunt rats and burrowing animals) that goose would be dead in seconds. When they get ahold of an animal, they shake it HARD.


bassgoonist

Bringer of death http://www.kern-photo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/wpid-yorkie_bird_mouth-2011-04-26-15-47.jpg


Worth-Ad-1350

Retrievers retriev. If they would destroy what they retrieve they would be sucky retrievers.


sorenlew

I feel like it’d be easy to fight back a bird


Dunnyredd

Let us know how that goes!


KebabChef

[\*Bonk Bonk Bonk*](https://youtu.be/qgvNW9TNnv8)


greenintendor

Bahaha bahaha wtf


CptnR4p3

have an imaginary award.


dontmindme001

When i was younger we have geeses and these fuckers are better than dogs without training, but these animals are very much hostile to everything. I remembered a time where my cousin was just with my sister and this one goose decided it was war, so as expected she ran for her life while this goose have its battle sirens on and this wings as an intimidation tactic. I was there laughing my ass off while my sister was trying to help our cousin survive a traumatic experience. TL;DR: I am a horrible brother and cousin in terms of an angry cobra chicken doing its daily run


Medivacs_are_OP

Battle Sirens... hhheheheheheh


SanderVdW

Thank you very much for the laugh


cheempanzee

Lmao, the goose was like "Ayt chill jesus wtf?"


chrysrobyn

I've got a cast iron skillet that I think could do the job with fewer \*bonk\*s.


blackandgoldie

Goose dummy! ;-p


Potential-Hour-47

Just grab it’s neck and swing. Done deal.


NiteTiger

Protected by International Treaty and Federal Law. Deal just starting...


stuntobor

Yeah well so are humans but I’d defend myself. /s I have no idea if people are protected anywhere


De_Wouter

> I have no idea if people are protected anywhere As long as you pay me your protection money, you are protected. If anything happens, that is because your protection money expired. Prices and times fluctuate a lot.


se7enonesixxx

Federal law allows you to kill a goose in self defense if no other defense is available (like running away). International treaties are irrelevant.


Beefy_Bureaucrat

Careful. Last time I commented on a goose law thread I got swarmed by keyboard legal scholars who thought that a treaty that governs hunting and poaching an game animal also meant that hitting a goose with your car meant Federal jail time. You would’ve thought they were bald eagles from how some people were piling on. Except even endangered animals being accidentally struck by moving vehicles is not going to result in charges.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Last-Gas1961

Lol fuck that shit, no face no case. Yeet a goose if they fuck with ya.


CoGLucifer

Take the evidence home and cook it for dinner.


Sorrymisunderstandin

You can in self defense lol


AlfredCornelius

Need that legendary man in the pink suit. https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/bhctb1/goose_attack/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


blackandgoldie

Dude these goose can snap man. It actually hurts. Plus, these mofo’s don’t hold back. Aggressive stance. Always.


pauciradiatus

Still it would probably be easier if they quit recording


blackandgoldie

Indeed. But we redditors enjoys a man who prefers filming in stead of helping.


condscorpio

Well, if he had chosen to not record it, we wouldn't be here talking about it. So..


kyichu

They have an attitude, but I don't think they have the bodies to actually follow through. Big neck a person can easily hold onto, especially because they attack with their beaks, and their bones are quite fragile compared to a person's.


NotStreamerNinja

You’ve clearly never met geese. Those things are evil.


xntrk1

You’d be surprised how mean those cobra chickens can be


Novazon

My neighbors German Shepard got killed by a goose. They're no joke


JonHail

Wut


Novazon

Pecked it to death, they found it's body in field


FinnTheFog

0% chance a German Shepard was killed by a goose.


RazorBikeGoVroom

Yeah seriously, it’s head is in a fixed position, so you have plenty of time to get a firm grip on it’s neck and take it away


zazzy_zucchini

Speaking from experience Its easy to grab the head, sure. But granted, you aren't trying to snap his neck, the rest is the real issue. If you YEET it away from you, it will come right back almost immediately. If you hold onto it, it will beat you to high hell with its wings. And those fuckers pack a punch. During all this time, it's beak is still trying to get at you with its sharp tip, and evil little teeth. When I was a kid we had two domestic geese, and the gander (affectionately named George) had it out for me. I had to carry a broom around because whenever he saw me he would try to attack me. If anyone was wondering, he did that to all small humans, and to certain big ones too (he snuck up and bit my moms 6'4 boss on the butt).


Last-Gas1961

Fuckin wring its neck. No more goose being a dick.


Siriuswot111

Maybe, but those fuckers are persistent as hell. Once the battle starts, those devils will make sure you have battle scars


MuthaPlucka

Hold me back, Earl. Hold me back! I’m about to tear this muthaquacker a new asshole.


NitroThunderBird

mothaquacker


GillyMonster18

*cloaca


bingley777

r/UsernameChecksOut ?


pauciradiatus

Who gets attacked by a goose and says 'oh hey, let me record this'?


throwaway_12358134

Geese are all about intimidation, it's difficult for one to injure you.


SirMaximBelov

Famous last words from the uninitiated


TheOffice_Account

Can they injure you seriously? Or is it all quack and no bite?


brinkzor

Once in college a goose jumped onto my backpack and started pecking my head. They really are feeble attackers. Determined, but feeble. Has a baby ever accidentally punched you while flailing his arms around? Very similar energy. You wouldn't want to take many of those shots in the eye or anything, but there is literally no threat.


TheOffice_Account

Goose as aggressive babies 😂 I love the analogy!


RiW-Kirby

You can injure yourself if you overreact to something that size being aggressive towards you. The amount of damage a goose or swan ban do to you if you don't freak out and trip over yourself is small abrasions.


Textual_Aberration

If you trip and drop your phone in the pond a goose can easily do hundreds of dollars in damage.


Lasdary

As I understand it, geese are a nuisance but swans can break your bones edit: as it turns out they are not strong enough to break your bones but they can hit real hard and [fucking drown you in the right circumstances](https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17736292).


RiW-Kirby

No they cannot. Anything that can fly is not a threat to your bones. You run away from it while focusing on it or something though you're going to fall and hurt yourself.


TheHadMatter15

Dunno mate, pretty sure an eagle lunging at you with hunting speed would break a bone or two


-SENDHELP-

Yeah i personally would not want a falcon to smack into my head at 200mph


RiW-Kirby

Thankfully birds aren't particularly suicidal so that's not a very common occurrence.


dog_in_a_wheelchair

Lol this is way crazier. This dude puts up with a lot of abuse from his Rhea https://youtu.be/CNvkOuuUWoc


Satelliteminded

Oh man, thanks for sharing. This guy is hysterical. I like a YouTuber that is funny, educational, and entertaining, while also doing good deeds lol.


jaeelarr

its a training video...see the sleeve he is wearing?


pauciradiatus

You mean their jacket?


canal_banal

That dog is incredibly well trained. Even thought it could easily break the duck’s neck it is only using enough pressure to pull the duck away ❤️❤️


iineedthis

That's not training it's called a soft mouth. Hunting retriever breeds tend to have soft bites and protection dogs tend to have strong clamp bites.


Coochie_Creme

That dog is not a retriever.


soul_in_a_fishbowl

Sort of looks like a black German shepherd with its ears pinned back.


obiwanliberty

Bushy tail suggests you are correct. Weird seeing a Shepard without the usual coloration.


soul_in_a_fishbowl

I have white, black, and a saddle back (the standard) German shepherds. My black one’s ears never stood up so it looked familiar.


TheBrushCreative

I know what kinda feathers you got in that jacket asshole! That was my son!


Julia_Burnsides

Came here to say that.


yeezusplease

Sorry for your loss :(


gettinfustrated

The dog is like "bro. I'm trying real hard here to let you walk away from this"


Toomake

Peace was never an option.


sam1920374856

Came here to say this


Kribble118

If god doesn't exist then explain why a human hand fits perfectly around a gooses neck, checkmate atheists


P0tat0eater

Millions of years of evolution have led to this. All the strife, all the pain, all the passing along of genes to fulfill both of our destinies as mortal enemies


Nearby_Tailor_2646

Duck: let me at him Dog: Na bro wait he feeds me Duck: shit you better eat me before I’m your last meal. Dog: bro chill out!!!


Dorfuto

But… that’s a geese…


rebel_scummm

The Goose’s name is “Duck Duck”


420totalspd

***--Breakfast--*** **me:** Quaker oats **dog:** quacker throats


CableExtension3099

Its hard to take this seriously when the vicious Animal is a goose.


T1m3Wizard

Goose was like.. ARR YOU WEARING A CANADA GOOSE JACKET??!


NotChoeDaddy

Untitled Goose Game on PS5 looks unreal.


IsMeYuNo

I like how he is somewhat gentle to make sure he doesn't do too much damage ^^


droneybennett

What kind of absolute weirdo stands there and films something like this? They could clearly have got away from this 'vicious animal attack' but no, better to stand there and film the two animals in distress.


kyichu

>They could clearly have got away Do you seriously think you can outrun a goose?!


ZeddieChill

Ikr these fuckers are fast. I'm more curious about how the fuck the dog did not fuck him up.


NorthSuperior

That goose is lucky that dog is careful.


MrJuice420

That dog needa step his game up


commentHero

Hold me quack! Hold me quack!


LenKruse4R

Jeez i should really watch duck dynasty