T O P
mansmurf

Off-season went 0-100 real quick


LukaDoncicBigPP

That's one way to fuck up a season


ReSpekMyAuthoriitaaa

I mean how do you come back and get back control of your team after an entire year suspension? By that time might as well move on if it's so egregious he can't show up for a year...


LAtotheA

If he’s loved by the players, it won’t be as hard as you guys think. They’re probably upset that he’s getting suspended in the first place


HustlinInTheHall

yeah it's not like NBA players are known for their fidelity.


naughtyobama

Real infidels, those ones


Macjonesdefisntgay

You don’t.


yankee4life

Was the pussy really worth it?


Deuce_GM

Guess that risky office sex really made him feel 25 again


namagofuckyoself

Udoka is a DiCaprio impersonator


cswhite101

Lol, absolutely not, but it ain’t the big head doing the thinking.


Thomas_teh_tank

Mama always said blood only flows through one head at a time


HeraldOrdeal

Medulla oblongata!


SmallBol

You and your mama were close...


p2datrizzle

Too close


lilpumpgroupie

Most of the time, people know exactly what they're doing, and they're in control of themselves. A lot of times cheating and risky sex is the turn on, it's not the sex. Especially for powerful people, when you've kind of gone through life, are struggling to find things that really get you going.


cswhite101

Agreed, it’s a calculated risk. He just got burned.


EverQuest_

It never is. Momentary ignorance getting lost in the sauce. ...a tale as old as time.


tonto515

*First Day of Autumn* TIME FOR NBA DRAMA, MOTHERFUCKERS, THIS AIR BE CRISPY


YoYoMoMa

We at a rock hard 69 bois


VanDenIzzle

Ever lose a championship, your wife, and your job all in one summer?


[deleted]

ESPN 30 for 30: Ime have fucked up big time


jimmy_1time

Comment of the day 😂🙏🏽


Iohet

It's like near the end of Training Day when it all comes crashing down at once > I'm winning anyway, I'm winning... I'm winning any motherfucking way. I can't lose.


whatanidiot70

You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you!!


Kidfreedom50

Got fired on his day off.


mcast86

Life comes at you fast. Damn that was Nia Long too


BigPorch

Wait wait he was married to Nia Long??? Holy shit my man done fucked up


TheSmokedSalmon420

From Finals appearance to suspended an entire season. That is pretty wild. Horny jail basketball team has a head coach!


Traditional_Cycle_49

Doc rivers is an assistant i guess


sleepy416

Someone call up Draymond


GoldenJet01

And Jamal Murray


Traditional_Cycle_49

if it was all time Wilt would be on the team


SlapsLikeFlea13

he'd be the captain of that team


Practical_Use_1654

Magic Johnson begs to differ. Wilt was stat padding, magic had a league wide impact.


Downunderphilosopher

Wilt has all the unbreakable records and legendary accomplishments though. He was pretty good on the court too.


Practical_Use_1654

He was playing with plumbers and firewomen


Acrobatic_Emphasis41

Laying pipe and hosing down


BobBubDaChamp

What did Draymond do?


comebyforpie

Post dong on snap


AlMundialPat

Captain has to be Danuel House, he got kicked out of the bubble cuz he couldnt keep his dick in his pants.


genesis1v9

Mark Jackson put in his resume to become assistant coach of that team.


ReallyColdMonkeys

Unfortunately he was passed over and will be the broadcaster for the 10th year in a row


triosway

Mama, why won't that man go?


AngryRoomba

Soap down, man down


SloGeorge

Who's the starting 5? Harden, Danuel House, who else?


drmeattornado

Tristan Thompson


pintvricchio

Howard at c


shrinkwrappedzebra

Lou Williams has to be on there for his love of wings


SrJeromaeee

Lou will cool as hell for having 2 birds at once surely he can play 2 positions in this lineup.


Mitchellsykeslefteye

Starting PG gotta be Jamal Murray


Mjacking

They even have a gm in Gersson Rosas!


MethodroneMan

Robert Sarver is selling the Suns, just so he can purchase the Horny Jail Basketball franchise


dofun400

First head coach to lose two rings in one season 😭


DragonEevee1

Horny jail for you sir


YoYoMoMa

Celts announce suspension: "Bonk"


xbyo

BOSTON, MA. (September 22, 2022) — The following statement was released today by the Boston Celtics, through their general manager Brad Stevens, in response to questions about their future coaching plans: "I bonk."


DeBallZach-

Doc Rivers just breathed a sigh of relief somewhere


KyrieWetUpCurry_

Craziest rise and fall of a coach, although it’s just a year.


DeBallZach-

Bro speedran


NoseBlind2

He be like "hey everyone im Ime Udoka and im gonna do the Bill Clinton challenge. Don't forget to smash that like button and subscribe!"


Brovenkar

He should probably take a break from smashing for a minute.


Sleeze_

Whoever Like Button is I hope she doesn't work for the team


Dr_Robert_California

He's like the dude in a summoning salt video who show's up 11 years into the history with a new strat no one's heard of that slashes the record.


estuhbawn

“A record that seemed it would never be broken….. until September 22nd, 2022 when a speed runner by the name of ‘Ime_UdokaX’ was able to pull off this run”


VanDenIzzle

Has a coach ever been suspended a year this early into their career? In the NFL Sean Payton was suspended a year but at that point he was still their best option as a coach. But I can't see him being on a long leash after this. This was supposed to be a championship year


tunamelts2

The whole bounty gate was incredibly fucked up. Sean Payton should’ve been banned for allowing shenanigans like that, regardless of how big a role he played in that.


keepp

that's how we know it wasn't super uncommon right?


SmokePenisEveryday

It was basically confirmed that they weren't the only team in the league doing it but the only one caught at the time. Most agree that Payton and Greg Williams weren't fully kicked out for that reason.


SChasBetterPeaches

Same reason Dan Snyder still owns Washington- other owners know if he goes scorched earth, they’re screwed.


Canium

Is that the guy who trafficked the cheerleader to foreign clients?


SkateboardingGiraffe

Yes


2KareDogs

He simmed a season in 2K


iSleepUpsideDown

Post nut gotta hurt


HafWoods

I just hope he held it a few times and got something out of it.


sscfc91

The worst part of this punishment is he now has to stay home with his wife for an entire year who’s mad at him for cheating in her


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SteamCleaner23

Ime’s household, approximately mid November: Ime: “Hey honey, what do you think, should we get the Christmas tree up early?” Wife: “oh you mean like how you were putting up Christmas trees with that BITCH?!”


Orphanpuncher0

When I was told Ime Udoka's D was going to effect the team this isn't what I had in mind.


guess-what-babe

Same amount of time as Robert Sarver is crazy Edit: I get what happened now fuck this guy


ADartfordPark

When you put it like that but we may as well sack him if we’re suspending him for a year


ILikeBeans86

SAS just went on a big rant about this. People love to shit on him but I kind of agreed with him for the most part. Basically if this werent the head coach of the celtics who just went to the NBA finals hed be fired and nobody would have heard about it. Either fire him or don't do anything. This is clearly for optics because the details will probably come out either way so the celtics need to act like they are doing something instead of not doing anything even though he broke org rules.


colossuskidd

Brad stevens is gonna be back on the coaching side for a year


iAmTheRealLange

I wouldn’t hate that


Dr_Robert_California

Yeah, Celtics should have gone with the Red Sox approach. Fire the coach for a year while he's suspended for awful violations, then just re-hire him a year later when he's sorry. It's been working out great. Genius strategy.


International-Elk986

They can't do that approach because 2023 is not an election year so they can't use the election news dump strategy which is what the Red Sox did with Cora.


Dr_Robert_California

lmfao


MidMotoMan

They both involved some sort of cheating so it checks out.


MartinVan_Nostrand

My dumb ass was thinking.. damn I remember the Cora/red Sox cheating thing, but when were the Celtics accused of cheating?!?


initialsori

this is the celtics punishment not the from NBA


MK12594

Yes, and it puts the NBA's punishment in a new perspective.


preddevils6

The NBA is limited in the extent owners can be punished.


lil_extro_vert_

Doc you really gonna let Ime one up you like that?


Bee_lrl

Doc about to go wild on his main 😫


NevermoreSEA

Was it worth it, Ime?


MaLu388

If it was Jaylen or Jayson then fa sho


Sane_Fish

Please let it be a player lmao


AashyLarry

They said female already lol


Sarcastic-Ad-Bot

Has anyone ever asked every player their pronouns?


AashyLarry

Depends which staff member. The sleuths can’t figure out which one it is.


Barbell_Flyes

ADOS twitter and Dr. Umar gon be wildin if it was the white chick


[deleted]

That’s literally all I’m waiting for 😂😂 If it’s a white girl, it’s over


AashyLarry

Dr Umar Burner is gonna go crazy


Engrish_Major

OOTL ? Context?


Mr_Wy

They’ve disabled the ‘front office’ tab on the Celtics website lol.


doleacacacac

daughter of an SVP and former assistant of Brad. Wondering if Ime played a role in her promotion and that’s why this is messy edit: oh shit i guess it was her HUSBAND who is the SVP and he is the one who reported it to the celtics ☠️☠️


AashyLarry

Which one is this?


cocoacowstout

I mean if her dad is a senior VP she doesn’t really need that much help imo, that’s like 99% of the hurdle right there


AdmiralWackbar

I wonder if it was a dancer, cause I’ve been ready to risk it all for Mazie for like 6 years now


sleepy416

My child, you know your teams dancers by name?! You going straight to horny jail


AdmiralWackbar

I met her once at a fundraiser and I fell in love, don’t tell my wife


Yergason

Calm down, Ime


WhoopingPig

It's a twap!


Zavehi

Weirdly (and sadly) enough, she just left the team a few weeks ago.


AdmiralWackbar

The plot thickens


bobdolebobdole

I bet she got a good severance package.


breaditbans

Now I have to go to Celtics.com


Nickleeee

Seriously I’m at work like “None of the blazers dancers have ever had me questioning my relationship.. who is this woman?”


big_old-dog

I was left rather whelmed


tangential_quip

Not even. Definitely under.


NorthernSlyGuy

"Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of places and I tell you people do that all the time."


UnderstandableXO

generational fumble


[deleted]

The energy is about to shift


girlscoutcookies05

Bro


DrunkRyenRussillo

I can already tell This is gonna be a turning point in hip-hop lyrics


BlazeBloom

Shouldn’t they just fire him if it’s this serious then?


lishmh33

Fire him = pay him Pressure him to resign = priceless


newnewyorker03

They can likely fire him for cause without paying him. There’s outs in situations like this. This is a weak half measure. Either fire him or he should quit


bionavs

no more half measures waltuh


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thorhyphenaxe

Nah, he’s the Princess in this scenario


Snoyarc

The truth doesn’t matter. It’s all about perception. Who will Wed him now?


KiritoJones

The Celtics will want a strong union so probably someone from the Bucks


lopea182

At that point, you may as well fire the coach. What’s the likelihood someone tries to poach him while on suspension? Hell, there are teams in the same division (Philly, Brooklyn) that would kill to have him replace their current coaches. Edit: contract reasons. don’t have to pay him if he resigns voluntarily. Guess the Celtics don’t believe the partnership is worth salvaging. Thanks, u/junkit33 and u/bigbadbuck


Jewards

Alex Cora and Sean Payton made it back from year long suspensions. Different sports and situations but it's definitely doable.


dismissivewankmotion

> Alex Cora That's what this reminds me of. He's so well liked people will welcome him back.


Kyler1313

Super close comparison. Both Minority coaches beloved by their team and very respected around their league. Both are fairly young and former players. And Both got caught in controversy early in their career (Astros cheating scandal, affair). I could totally see Ime coming back after a year and after a few months of questioning from media, just get back to being a well respected good coach.


YoYoMoMa

He will still be under contract perhaps? But yes, the real question is, what is so out of bounds that requires a YEAR suspension but does not warrant a firing? And having the team play a full season under and interim is playing with fire.


spitz1674

It’s basically what the Red Sox did with Cora. Most people assumed he’d be back. Totally different issues but it’s a decent parallel considering they’re both Boston. Only problem here is the Celtics have high aspirations. Red Sox weren’t expected to be that good that year (also Covid shortened but they didn’t know that when Cora left).


mylesA747

the fact that the celtics got out in front of it is the only reason why he still has a job next year imo


junkit33

This is basically forcing him to resign without giving him the permanent stink of a firing. Even if he returns in a year he's totally lost face in that organization, so he would probably rather just bow out gracefully and seek a fresh start elsewhere in a year.


AskMeHowIMetYourMom

Don’t shit where you eat people.


thatsinsaneletstryit

practice good hygiene, cannibals


KitchenReno4512

They’re also expected to contend next year. This isn’t a result or throwaway season. Whoever they bring in as coach can’t be seen as temporary by the players.


jackbennyXVI

If this is how Quin Snyder returns to the NBA I will lose it lol


MambaMaleGrindset

If having Shams spray the Internet with IME UDOKA WAS BANGING A SIDEPIECE AT WORK is "bowing out gracefully," I'd hate to see the alternative.


Antenol

Brad Stevens about to be the president and the coach of the Celtics


Spyk124

A lot of people don’t understand if you’re at the top of any organization, business or corporation, there are very very stringent rules regarding dating in the work place. Usually they can not work anywhere near your department, you have to disclose the relationship to HR, and it couldn’t have started while they were working under you. This is to limit exploitation and favoritism. The rules make sense, he’s a dumbass for breaking them.


pintomp3

If you are going to get some on the side, keep it outside.


Character_Reward2734

There are literally thousand of women he could cheat with and have not issues and probably < 20 he could with serious issues. He chose poorly. No sympathy- and he’s lucky he didn’t get fired.


BaeylnBrown777

There's a great Dave Chappelle bit about how Bill Clinton cheated like a busy man cheats - stuck his head out the office door and grabbed the first woman he saw lmao.


HorseMeatKhabib

Nephews saying this punishment is too severe, but punishments like this prevent situations like the Mavericks had for twenty years. The power dynamics of consent are real.


billcosbyinspace

Exactly, you can’t have sex with people when you’re their boss, period. Even if he had an affair with someone in like accounting it would still be a slippery slope because ime has a ton of power and pull in the organization


jdd32

That is a great comparison. These rules exist for a reason. If I had a relationship with one of my employees, you're sure as shit that I'd be fired.


NicClaxtonIsHotAF

Feel like this is going to be a domino to this team collapsing. You might as well fire him


hooskies

What the fuck am I missing here


pdpdpdpdpdpdpdpd

It's a violation of a clause in the Celtics' code of conduct, so they set how severe the punishment is in this case


thesimpsonbrand

this feels to me like getting kicked off the byu football team for having premarital sex


boomedhim1234

Brandon Davies sends his regards


palerthanrice

Confirmed sex haver Brandon Davies


Talldarkandhansolo

I feel bad that Davies became a meme. He was a super nice guy and a hell of a player. I was pushed by another teammate that was bullying me and Davies stepped in between us and shoved him back and told him to fuck with him instead if he wanted to be a big dog. Mad respect to Davies.


NoPantsJake

We would’ve won it all with Davies running the floor with Jimmer


jdd32

It's got nothing to do with him cheating on his wife though. You can't be the boss and go sleeping with people that work for you. It's code of conduct for any respectable company. You can't put subordinates in that position where they might feel pressured to consent for fear of retaliation, or to advance their careers. Likewise, you might create the notion with other employees that they are getting passed over for opportunities because someone else is sleeping with the boss. You just can't have that in a healthy organization.


likwitsnake

Soaking is ok though


PeanutButtaRari

Gotta make sure you got a homie to jump for you


moneybooy

Nia Long is available now


DragonEevee1

It's really really unethical, like fireable offense for a ton of jobs


jpaxlux

Ime fucked a woman who's in a much lesser position than himself which is bad.


Mem-Boi-901

Yeah that type of relationship in the work office is a HUGE no no.


PepperidgeFarmMembas

Everyone wondering why a year…… He literally slept with a female subordinate. Any other industry that’s instant suspension pending termination while HR sorts out the mess. The power dynamic is a mess and the Celtics are doing the right thing here. There’s definitely more to the story too.


WarTrek99

Exactly. Most companies you get termed lol


Vswerve27

Why do people on Reddit/Twitter not understand that you can’t have a relationship with someone that works for you? He should be fired.


DragonEevee1

Because most people on Reddit don't have people under them


completelytrustworth

Don't have people under them in both senses of the word


Littlebelo

Considering how many teenagers are on this sub I’m guessing most of the sub don’t have jobs


doleacacacac

solid double entendre


AngriestBeaver

I married my boss. We've been happily married for years and have 2 kids. I'm really glad she didn't get fired. Granted, Udoka's situation isn't a 1:1 because I think Udoka was cheating on his spouse if I got the story right, but part of the reason people "don't understand" is because a lot of people meet their spouse or longterm partners at work. That's also not to say a boss in a position of power can't be a creep trying to leverage a relationship.


callofthevoid_

because 90% are young guys yet to enter a corporate environment and those who have DEFINITELY don’t have people working under them. he’s lucky they are giving him the dignity of eventually resigning vs. firing him outright.


Cmbotts

As someone who does work in corporate and has people working under them— it’s basically rule #1 that you don’t fuck your employees. Even if it’s consensual it can be extremely problematic.


monekys

Too many nephews


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stoppedcaring0

This is a “we want you out of the job, but we’re not going to fire you for financial/legal reasons, so we’re going to dare you to quit” situation.


Negative-Isopod-8432

They can easily fire him for cause


Puzzled_Wrangler_949

Man fumbled the bag, lost two rings within a year


Thegreatsnook

I'll admit, I'm dying to know who it was.


xbarracuda95

Lol people really pretending that a boss having a sexual relationship with a subordinate is fine if she consents? It's a fireable offense in most companies, a normal executive wouldn't even get off with only a suspension if he's caught having sex with a junior employee.


elibretto123

If the celtics win it all this year does he get a ring still or nah


PizzaGuy94122

yes but not the one that goes on your finger


FutureAnybody

The whole season?? Damn man


Balls_of_Adamanthium

Gotta be more to the story than meets the eye


jpaxlux

He unfortunately did not live up to Los Pollos standards


Obi_Wan_Benobi

Boss, why are you putting on that waterproof, stain-proof gear to cut up some boxes……


monkey-pox

If you have power in a company, you can't fuck employees, it's just a huge liability


jackalope503

Ime was really living my middle-school dream of working in the NBA and being married to Nia Long, and he fucked it all up smh


DragonEevee1

Consent must be a mess in this situation due to power dynamic


The-Implication-0

Yeah I don’t really get how people don’t get this. Sex between a boss and a subordinate is messy. Can lead to issues with power dynamic, the concept of consent, lawsuits down the road, etc. It’s not uncommon to get fired for that, not just suspended. Sex between low level employees on the same level isn’t as big a deal.


Shenanigans80h

Yeah the immaturity of this sub is kinda showing with this one. It’s common as hell in any workplace with a clearly structured hierarchy that relationships between bosses and subordinates will result in termination or a big punishment. I see a lot of people here trying to frame it as whoever he slept with being some big name or having a connection to a big name but it’s far more likely it’s a lower level no name frankly


enjoyeverysangwich

The man had a relationship with an employee. He's the head coach. Power imbalance. And if it wasn't reported? Violation of most workplace codes of conduct. And it was extramarital? Creates negative perception about the man and the event. Not to mention the PR crisis the team will face, how many times will we ever be able to bring up Udoka on social media, ever again, without someone chiming in about this affair, in a crude way most likely? I feel like a year long suspension really shows that the organization takes this seriously, it gives Udoka the time he will need to deal with his certain personal issues that stem from this. It gives the locker room time to move past it and ensure their trust in their coach (though I feel most of the players wouldn't really have cared that much). A year is heavy, but the team is serious about it and he's probably lucky not to have been fired.