after thinking for a while i concluded i had to downvote you because everybody thought about the same joke and i'm just balancing the envy and frustration. it is almost unfair to write this joke.
I can't find the turtle. Is it behind that tortoise?
EDIT: though it could be a box turtle, which does look like a tortoise. despite being members of the Terrapene genus. Hence the big confusion with naming, since they are a tortoise-imitating turtle native to N. America where many redditors habitat. TIL.
1. Turtles is the name for the whole group, including tortoises.
2. That's a box turtle, which is taxonomically closer related to terrapins than they are to tortoises. They just said "screw all the swimming, I'm staying on land"
This is a box turtle, which are omnivores! They aren't picky eaters - meaning if they stumble across free calories like this, they will often indulge. :)
There's a super popular video of a deer eating either a mouse or baby bird.
It was in real time and alive so it was more disturbing than this turtle vid
They look similar because they evolved to survive in similar conditions, but they are actually more closely related to pond turtles! It's a neat phenomenon in nature called convergent evolution :)
I found a box turtle in my yard when I was a kid. He lived in my sandbox for the summer. Definitely fed him everything from hotdogs and hamburger meat to carrots and lettuce. He didn't care he ate everything.
See, not if he were eating a rat, then I could make a ninja turtle joke / reference as to how they ate out splinter.
But nope. Instead bugs bunny jokes are up for grabs.
Yeah... Turtles are vicious.
When I was a kid there was a pond near my house, and my and my brother used to go and feed bread to the ducks and turtles.
We stopped feeding them because we discovered that due to the ducks being faster they got to the bread 95% of the time before the turtles, so the turtles eventually figured out that if they drowned all the ducklings, they wouldn't have to compete for bread eventually...
Once we saw it happening, we discovered dozens of dead drowned ducklings all tangled in the same plant.
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users.
I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!
[Here is link number 1 - Previous text "won"](https://youtu.be/FvdH32h5JfM)
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turtles are slow and surprisingly lazy, but they will eat anything slower than them, surprisingly that's plants and dead stuff
Sorry Mr Turtle, only one carrion on this flight
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I feel like most turtles actually *prefer* flesh. Mine go crazy for the occasional bit of chicken xD And I have such a hard time getting them to eat their veggies
I watched a mouse swim across a stream once and a turtle snatched its leg. Turtle took it under water about 6 inches. The mouse was so close to the surface yet not close enough. The water was so clear I could see it till it’s last breath. Another turtle showed up and the began taking chunks out of it. It became my favorite animal after that.
Guess we know who won the race
Lol beat me to it.
So.... you're the rabbit in this case then?
Yeah turtle was pissed it lost
Guess we know who won the race
Lol beat me to it.
So.... You're the rabbit in this case then?
That’s a gnarly thing to beat your meat to
Same
So did the turtle
Yeah can you beat me to it as well please I’m almost there…
Race? Nah the rabbit was just running from the turtle
Maybe you're right
Plot twist: it was never a race. The Rabbit was fleeing for his dear life! The tortoise: "I told you you'd never outrun me!"
I see the rabbit had their own immortal snail to flee from.
Slow and steady eats the face
With how quick that turtle is moving it must have been a close race though
Aesop was full of it. We see now it was a total cover up.
after thinking for a while i concluded i had to downvote you because everybody thought about the same joke and i'm just balancing the envy and frustration. it is almost unfair to write this joke.
Understood, have a nice day.
i did not expect that. that was noble! i shall come back with a prize (once my supply of free coins shall be renewed and if i don't forget)
Good sir, you are too kind.
thanks for the reward you turtle/rabbit
I can't find the turtle. Is it behind that tortoise? EDIT: though it could be a box turtle, which does look like a tortoise. despite being members of the Terrapene genus. Hence the big confusion with naming, since they are a tortoise-imitating turtle native to N. America where many redditors habitat. TIL.
1. Turtles is the name for the whole group, including tortoises. 2. That's a box turtle, which is taxonomically closer related to terrapins than they are to tortoises. They just said "screw all the swimming, I'm staying on land"
All spoils go to the victor
This is dark. Nice lol
Damn
Oh, how the turtles have tabbed! Or something …
No guts, no glory.
Based.
So that’s how he did it
So that's how he won the race. Sick bastard.
:)
You monster.
This is a box turtle, which are omnivores! They aren't picky eaters - meaning if they stumble across free calories like this, they will often indulge. :)
They really are the garbage disposals of the turtle world.
Always have to scroll down the same joke told 3 times before I can get to the actual info! Thank you!!
Slow and steady wins the race
Most turtles are omnivores.
Most animals are opportunistic omnivores. I know deer, cows and horses would 100% eat a rabbit if it didn’t require effort to catch it
I've seen a gopher eating a roadkill gopher. Real Disney moment there.
There's a super popular video of a deer eating either a mouse or baby bird. It was in real time and alive so it was more disturbing than this turtle vid
You're thinking of [he ate a burd](https://youtu.be/sQOQdBLHrLk) and [this chicken](https://youtu.be/Mwy4X4F3mB4)
Good ol' Aida Burd
There's also a horse that ate some baby chicks. Was fucked up.
There’s one of a horse eating a baby chick also.
I wish box turtles had square shells
Neat! Who knew? (Probably a lot of people)
I've seen hundreds of yellow belly sliders eat a deer carcass that had fallen into a pond.
Mmm…car ass. Love the taste of bumper in the morning.
Aren’t most animals opportunistic eaters? That they will eat „free“ proteins when they can get them.
Used to feed mine frogs and goldfish
Thank you science toast
BRB legally changing my name to science toast
I thought that was tortoise?
They look similar because they evolved to survive in similar conditions, but they are actually more closely related to pond turtles! It's a neat phenomenon in nature called convergent evolution :)
I found a box turtle in my yard when I was a kid. He lived in my sandbox for the summer. Definitely fed him everything from hotdogs and hamburger meat to carrots and lettuce. He didn't care he ate everything.
You are not you when hungry!
Sneeker
Have a snickers pizza, shell dude.
Is an omnivore. Would eat you if you let it..
See, not if he were eating a rat, then I could make a ninja turtle joke / reference as to how they ate out splinter. But nope. Instead bugs bunny jokes are up for grabs.
[This guy could be concerned.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miyamoto_Usagi)
Yeah I did have a Google to see and this guy came up. Don't know anything about him, so can't claim anything. Gonna have to rewatch it all haha
Michelangelo, NO!!
[удалено]
That's open for innuendos
Yep. Came here for a “tortoise and the hare” joke. Already too late.
That's Mitch McConnell
The rabbit is the American dream
You insult turtles the world over with this comparison!
Nope; not rotten enough.
Turtles are vicious predators what will kill and eat anything they can catch.
Which isn't much.
Remember kids, "herbivore" really just means "Omnivore with preferences"
Yeah, and many turtles arent herbivores
Meat is back on the menu boys !
The turtle was fed up with the rabbits shit!🤣😂
so this is the ending of the race.
Tortoise beats the hair - I mean eats the hair - every time.
Tortious vs the Hair 2: This time…it’s for keeps
Used to feed my turtles ground beef balls...was a blast as a kid seeing em go ham.
This is the chapter of the book they leave out for the kids.
The end that nobody knew
Donatello, noooooooo!
I forgot about turtles being omnivores.
Turtles will eat anything that they can catch.
Opportunistic. There was a vid on here recently of a huge snapping turtle chowing on a deer.
That's a tortoise
I lost the race to make the joke about the race between the tortoise and the hare
Yeah... Turtles are vicious. When I was a kid there was a pond near my house, and my and my brother used to go and feed bread to the ducks and turtles. We stopped feeding them because we discovered that due to the ducks being faster they got to the bread 95% of the time before the turtles, so the turtles eventually figured out that if they drowned all the ducklings, they wouldn't have to compete for bread eventually... Once we saw it happening, we discovered dozens of dead drowned ducklings all tangled in the same plant.
Damn... not only vicious, they are really smart to. I didn't know this
box turtles are omnivores.
Tasty spaghetti
This is why rabbits shouldn't eat Trix. Trix are for kids
Nutrients are nutrients. Good turtles aren't picky.
Contrary to popular beliefs, tortoises are real wankers.
Damn slow and steady is gangsta! Won the race and then ate his ass!
Master Oogway after watching Zootopia:
Turtle gonna turt
Name of the game is survival!
Every time
[удалено]
They have pretty hard/sharp beaks for lips
u/savevideo
An eastern box turtle. My favorite!
Pretty fast for a turtle!
Who's winning now bitch.
Turtle: “Who’s faster now, muthafuckah?!?”
Ya gotta take bigger bites than that 'lil guy. You'll never finish it before it gets cold.
turtle - 1. rabbit - 0
are we sure it isnt eating the bugs that land on it? i didnt know turtles eat meat
It looks more like it's eating the flies, with maybe a few mouthfuls of fur.
"Still think you're faster than me huh? Who's laughing now"
That is a twisted ending to the race.
Jesus this horrifying
I guess the hare insulted the turtles after the race
The metal version of aesop's fable
Looks like somebunny was really hungry.....I'll see myself out
A cow would eat you and everyone you care about if it had the chance
HBO's tmnt reboot took it a little too far trying to make it more like the original eastman/laird run
The tortoise has finally [won](https://youtu.be/FvdH32h5JfM)
It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users. I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click! [Here is link number 1 - Previous text "won"](https://youtu.be/FvdH32h5JfM) ---- ^Please ^PM ^[\/u\/eganwall](http://reddit.com/user/eganwall) ^with ^issues ^or ^feedback! ^| ^[Code](https://github.com/eganwall/FatFingerHelperBot) ^| ^[Delete](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=FatFingerHelperBot&subject=delete&message=delete%20ht2g64g)
People forget, not many creatures are absolutely strictly "carnivore/herbavore" most are "eat what's available, which is primarily X"
I can’t believe that a turtle caught up with a rabbit
I guess life is a turtle race
slow and steady
Man, I did not play that version of Super AutoPets.
It's not uncommon for them to scavenge meat, but [have you ever seen a tortoise actively hunting?](https://youtu.be/C0tjq0u2rDU)
Looks like he’s just eating the bugs that are swarming on and around it. I don’t think he’s actually eating the rabbit.
Rabbit: You're so slow! Rabbit while being eaten: GOD WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW?!
That’s what really happened at the finish line in the tortoise and the hare
"A cassowary can unzip a man* Fucking yikes
"A cassowary can unzip a man* Fucking yikes
Bunny nooooo :(
This coney would go good with some taters and stewed, but I'm sure the turtle prefers things raw and wriggling.
And they told me they ate pizza
The turtle hunted that rabbit. SURPRISE!!
Not so fast now are ya?
REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD
Looks like it took weeks!
turtles are slow and surprisingly lazy, but they will eat anything slower than them, surprisingly that's plants and dead stuff Sorry Mr Turtle, only one carrion on this flight
Wait this isn't furry porn :(
Metal
I thought this was a euphemism.
Doesn't give a fuck about the ants
My turtles will eat anything resembling meat. They really like thin sluced cooked ham.
slow and steady wins the race ❤️
Who's the boss now innit
[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles](https://youtu.be/bojx9BDpJks)
It will take 5 day to finish his meal.
Looks like Cecil Turtle decided to kill and desecrate Bugs Bunny after his car accident scam failed. Poor Bugs.
Turtle: Surprise Motha f*cker. (Wonder how a turtle came about this dead rabbit).
Box turtle no less. I fed mine bananas, lettuce, and grapes. Never hossenfeffer.
Play Somebody that I Used to Know sped up and call it "Rabbit Lore"
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That's the part of The Turtle and the Hare they don't want you to know
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That's a fast turtle!
The part of the story they leave out!
We know how that race was won
Дед доел
I thought they only ate lettuce. 😆
That’s what you get for calling me slow you furry motherfucker
ninja kick the damn rabbit
Box turtle? I used to feed one mice as an intern
Thats an oriental box turtle!!!
it was never a race, it was a chace
EverymanHYBRID
I feel like most turtles actually *prefer* flesh. Mine go crazy for the occasional bit of chicken xD And I have such a hard time getting them to eat their veggies
It's he even getting inside, looks like he's getting hair and flies on each bite
r/frugal_jerk
Looks like an eastern box turtle.those are cool.
Was not an express conejo. Poor conejo.
I watched a mouse swim across a stream once and a turtle snatched its leg. Turtle took it under water about 6 inches. The mouse was so close to the surface yet not close enough. The water was so clear I could see it till it’s last breath. Another turtle showed up and the began taking chunks out of it. It became my favorite animal after that.
Slow and steady wins the race Cause all he wanted was a taste Of rabbit blood And rabbit meat And not so lucky rabbits feet.
Turtle eats the hare
Well you know what they say, slow and steady wins the visceral organs of your opponent. EDIT: removed autocorrect apostrophe
Hangry💀
This gives me goosebumps
That's no turtle
I like turtles.
Everything is an omnivore when given the chance.
Anybody notice how he did that slow and steadily
Only if this turtle went ahead with the race, our childhood as such would be very different than what it is today.
… also a dear eats a squirrel in front of a family of humans.
Tortoise and the Hare- alternate ending