T O P
astrongnaut

R/dontputyourdickinthat seriously


beejee98

r/dontputyourdickinthat got you there man


astrongnaut

Thank you kind sir


Ready-steady

Got to use a lowercase “r/(subredditnamehere)”


Sensitive_Salary_603

Can I put my hand down there?


beejee98

r/dontputyourhandinthere


Sensitive_Salary_603

Thank you kindly dude.


swedhitman

Came here just for this


work2oakzz

Legend


trasnaortfein

Can I put someone else's dick in there?


astrongnaut

This mans asking the real questions


mcavvacm

Only with consent.


trasnaortfein

From the turtle?


mcavvacm

Sure, why not?


Maswope

r/dontputsomeoneelsesdickinthere


thefakegordonramsey

r/foundthemobileuser


astrongnaut

R/foundthefakegordonramsey


what_is_humor

lol


JediMasterOllie

Nailed it.


QwertyOne-Thirty

r/foundthehondacivic


ryuk8888

r/foundthehondacivic


Tripel_Meow

r/putyourdickinthere* you meant?


Echo2407

The forbidden blowjob


Interesting-Law-5880

I came here just to see this comment,now i can leave


dowtimer

No shit! Guess this means blow jobs are out of the question.


ThatOtherOtherMan

Coward


amonaloli12

These "thorns" allow the turtle to consume large amounts of jellyfish, preventing them from slipping back out of the mouth.


doublevaginalboy

Don’t the turtles get zapped by the jellyfish?


Juan_Oje497

No, they're immune to their venom


doublevaginalboy

Cool


zucduc

Too bad Dory isn’t


Swimming_Bend_1133

😂😂🤣🤣


kdeezy006

nice eren pfp


Juan_Oje497

Thanks, I'm a hobo Eren appreciator


Lookatitlikethis

You're thinking of electric eels.


tryganon

No he watched too much nemo


Academic_Nectarine94

Sounds more like the Princess Bride.


GBBanditt

It is also used so they can regurgitate the extra water swallowed without loosing their meal.


crypross

Now imagine what happens when a plastic bag is confused for jellyfish and is stuck in this poor animal


oceanblueberries

Hard or soft?


Academic_Nectarine94

Yeeeaaahhh... I feel like it would prevent EVERYTHING from escaping again.


kenzo19134

Came here looking for this info. Thank you.


heavymetalblades

Forbidden fleshlight


Unfa

What do you mean "forbidden"? In a completely unrelated note, does anyone know how to reattach a penis? Or even know a guy?


OneFuckedWarthog

I don't know. Ask the guy who had his dick cut off with a pair of scissors. For anyone that doesn't know that story: https://www-the--sun-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.the-sun.com/news/2454311/florida-man-cut-off-wifes-lovers-penis-with-scissors/amp/?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#aoh=16410444737831&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s


mma5820

That is terrifying. I assume the inspiration for predator came from this


ThatOtherOtherMan

I was getting more of a sarlacc vibe, personally.


MyLlamaNeedsAHat

Looks like a sarlacc from Star Wars!


GeekynGlorious

Can't have live food swimming back out again!


Browzur

Boba ain’t getting out of that


KYDRAULIC

Geez. Reminds me of my exes vagina.


mxcw

Well then sorry for your cock mate


madMARTYNmarsh

What cock? There is no way anyone is walking away intact if you put your dick in that. Unless it's too small to reach the thorns. In that case, the small penised can fill their boots.


TestedNutsack

Dick or balls, one you must choose and one you shall lose.....


ZoskieTW

LOL


jimmyjfp

We gotta save Cortana


mariayclara

I'm very glad I'm not a prey for sea turtles.


Justalonerstoner

Yet


hcky21cj

It’s a leatherback turtle mouth specifically


NefariousnessDue6201

“Turtles to avoid putting my dick in” Noted.


bedoshe

I'll take "Lists I didn't know I needed to make" for 500


now_is_not_forever

Not gonna lie, thought this was Venom


elbrentos

Sauron sends his regards


Dear-Helicopter6762

Hot


el_hefe_le_pew

I should call her


noodles724

Nope!


William_Wisenheimer

The metal shark monster from James and the Giant Peach.


Apprehensive_Paint90

Unlocked memory


[deleted]

Looks like the sarlac pit from Star Wars.


Mpule16

Sea grinder


fight_to_write

All Predator movie posts below here.


KaleidoscopeFirm9752

Looks cute


madhandlez89

Headcrab.


ShaqOat

Well that would hurt


ASimpleDude868

I thought they had a tongue with a strong mouth not an Iron Maiden for a throat and mouth.


tap_dancing_banana

r/dontputyourdickinthat


same_post_bot

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Zephyrkrieg13

That’s obviously the worm that ate Boba Fett.


NoDemand1519

Except you just said it’s a worm and this isn’t.


Zephyrkrieg13

No shit; I would call you Sherlock but he’s actually smart enough to realize it’s a joke and you’ll just think I’m literally identifying you as Sherlock Holmes and I didn’t want to confuse your little head.


NoDemand1519

Lol, whatever you say dude. I already knew this was a joke. Your joke just didn’t make any sense.


Zephyrkrieg13

I’m sorry you’re too unintelligent to see the sense my joke makes but it doesn’t mean I’m unfunny, it means your stupid.


NoDemand1519

Says the one who actually sounds more stupid than me. Imagine getting upset over a joke. 🤣


Zephyrkrieg13

Lol why would I get upset over a little shit posting troll with no life? You just want me to be upset so your calling me upset. Get therapy and quit embarrassing yourself.


sOvrn

The Gelgamek vagina https://youtu.be/RvGD4Jp3_4I


EmergencyLittle

Wort wort wort!


Senku_San

Charybdis :O


Capable_Collection22

Are these hard or soft ?


azpha9

hard, they're backwards facing teeth to prevent prey from sliding back out


ThatOtherOtherMan

They're actually keratinous spines, so probably closer to fingernails, cat claws, or porcupine quills, giving them a little bit of flexibility. I mean it wouldn't do to have one stab through their own throat.


Brittanysmith62

No thank you


IzzyNorse

Put ur PP in there


Hum8lePride

Shouldn't have a problem with any straws.


Equal-Detective357

With all those teeth they must be really mad, unless they got a toothbrush.


trolemodel

This is why i don’t skinny dip


Friendly_Candy8789

“Let me light up the runway with something from my personal collection”


ard15951

Seems like it would constantly accidentally be biting itself… like constantly chewing vertically positioned Doritos


biggie_smallsBK

Ugly ass


czebul

My master Sauron the great bids thee welcome


Enigmaticeyes13

I'd Fuck it lol


ketchupROCKS

I thought this was a vaginer


Iltempered1

Anything is a vagina, if you're brave enough.


FrontStreetFellas

r/Destiny


louietheloverboi

Excuse me— what the hell...?


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Nickknackk77

r/oddlyterrifying


same_post_bot

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chrisp5000

you gotta see [these guys](https://www.google.com/search?q=inside+of+sea+turtle+mouth+teeth+soft&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS924US924&sxsrf=AOaemvIXcE7Mir7QRr-a71BmLTwsK-Js_Q%3A1641017855826&ei=__HPYYTfMaarqtsP3Lyd4AU&oq=inside+of+sea+turtle+mouth+teeth+so&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAEYAjIFCCEQoAEyBQghEKABMgUIIRCgATIFCCEQoAEyBQghEKsCOgcIABBHELADOgYIABAWEB46CAgAEBYQChAeOgUIABCGAzoICCEQFhAdEB5KBAhBGABKBAhGGABQ-QVY0Cpg9zNoAnACeACAAWGIAaUGkgECMTCYAQCgAQHIAQjAAQE&sclient=gws-wiz#kpvalbx=_D_LPYdOQMsSlqtsP-42gKA40) eat jelly fish


ThatOtherOtherMan

Huh, so since those are keratinous spines and not actual teeth, I'd imagine they're a little bit flexible and probably wouldn't poke the turtle's throat at all. That's super cool.


writemoreletters

Done with the internet for today.


bosshax

Mouth of Sauron


ThatOtherOtherMan

Absolutely not, have a terrible day.


VerucaGotBurned

Thanks you just ruined sea turtles for me


tryganon

Well after seeing that I hope the tiger sharks eat them all. Edit: JK. But for real thought it


CrazyJoe16

TIL to be grateful sea turtles don't eat people


ToniSins

For generations, the Dreaming City housed one of the Awoken's most closely guarded secrets. She is known as Riven — Riven of a Thousand Voices. The last known Ahamkara. She has been Taken. And her death is your calling.


CameraHistorical8303

Forbidden flesh light


darkghul

Pennywise?


Darth--Chungus

ello beastie


PlantBasedFood

Forbidden fleshlight


Special_Bar_8719

Looks like horror


JayMeadows

Okay... why? What is the evolutionary purpose of this?


Kazmoole

I don’t like turtles anymore


Asjemenouu

But will it blend?


Staten_och_Kapitalet

Kinky


hairydogriots

r/vaginas


BasementDwellerDave

Forbidden Fleshlight


DaBi5cu1t

Reminds me of blue waffle


DreamingInAMaze

Seriously? This is not from Alien?


DarkSideDOMM

Cursed Flesh-light


Armidylla

Oh, look. I guess sea turtles were demons all along.


Capital_Ordinary8043

r/dontstickyourdickinit


JigglySquishyFlesh

Fleshlight Engineer: This is the way


Sean22334455

So that's where I left the night terrors that plagued me when I was 9.


newyorksbravest

Those arent teeth tho :) they hold the jellyfish in place while expelling water


H2Joee

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


ThomasNoelComedy

You’re saying that those things wouldn’t fuck up a straw? X to doubt.


SirMonkey687

R/ThanksIHateIt


Ecstatic_Sundae2106

"Thought I'd make you my guest, light up the runway with something from my personal collection"


lamwire

Not a single tooth decay


daunicorn11

Nightmarish


Long-Ebb5882

Wow. The horror.


AjaxIsSoccer

This explains why a sea turtle will have sex for up to 24 straight hours...sure as hell aint going for oral!


The-BeastMasterZ00

And no jellyfish escaped that day, in the cavernous thorny abyss…


wertyvid

new bottom surgery just dropped


Tutle47

We're definitely not supposed to know this


Luxri

My body had a visceral reaction to seeing that


jumpinjehovas

And a plastic bottle takes this thing down


Aversiive

Reminds me of my ex gf


TurokHunterOfDinos

Did not expect that.