T O P

Posting this in this subreddit too bc is my way of venting. Anyways, happy birthday to me ig

Posting this in this subreddit too bc is my way of venting. Anyways, happy birthday to me ig

friedgreencalamari

Why is this totally a thing with Nparents? They would clean out my bank account, and in a different situation, accuse me of being a thief!! OP- do you have a relative you can park your money with in a joint bank account?


Detroit_218

I wished but my mom would definitely find out about it and immediately ground me, call me ungrateful and all that stuff. I've already tried hiding money from her before. However after I turn 18 and start planning on moving out I definitely will look for a relative who can save the money I earn for me, bc I know that if I keep it in this house my mom will do everything to stop me from moving out.


Due-Pressure-9654

You need to leave when you turn 18 or sooner if possible.


friedgreencalamari

Agreed. I empathize , OP. I never went home again after freshman year of college. And when you do escape, watch out for people who act just like your parents. Actions, not words. I came out of school and ran headfirst into another malevolent narc, who took full advantage bc I had no boundaries. Trust your gut when you leave! I hope you’re close to 18 and wish you luck. This doesn’t last forever.


Sourgirl2021

My mom locked me in my room on my birthday when I was 11(?) and wouldn’t let me out because I didn’t clean enough. My neighborhood friends baked me a cake and brought it over and she made them leave, cake and all and I stayed in my room. Of course she never remembered that, or anything else that caused me crippling mental health issues. NC as of last year. Happy Birthday to you 💗


Detroit_218

I get that, they never remember anything they did so they can say it didn't happen, but of course we have to remember for the rest of our lives since it affected us badly. I'm sorry that happened to you and I do hope you are a lot better now, and thanks!


MagnumBane

You were able to have friends?


Sourgirl2021

Of course, the farther away from home I was and the longer I stayed away the better, for everyone.


KEVIN75232

You can't vent, That would make you the imposter!


Detroit_218

HAHA This made me laugh out loud, thanks lmao.


Nub0fAllNubs

**amogus?**


chiccana

Yes made me cry for almost all my birthdays when I was young. Coz she gave birth to me so it’s supposed to be her day. Erk.


Shrimp_Soda

I saved all of my birthday, holiday, and odd job money starting at the age of 8. I would count it every now and then because it was exciting to watch the wad of cash grow. I realized one day that it was less. So, I would move it around my room and count it any time I put more cash in it. It was definitely being taken. I confronted her about it. She acted like it was funny that I would have the nerve to say anything to her. She said since I was her daughter she owned me and anything that was mine was hers. When I was 13 my adult sister took me to a bank and we talked with the bank manager. They let me have a bank account with her as the cosigner so I could keep my money safe. When I was 16 I moved out.


Detroit_218

Im really glad you got to move out sooner, sounds like you could've been stuck in a toxic household. Also shootout to your sister. When I was younger I thought of ways of moving out before 18 but tbh in my situation it wouldn't be possible without running out, and in my country it wouldn't be the safest thing to do. Fortunately in one year I turn 18 so I'm closer than ever. Either way, im sorry you had to go through that and I hope you are doing great.


Shrimp_Soda

I was homeless for 2 months when I moved out. It was very dangerous and I have a lot of horrible memories from it. Definitely weigh the pros and cons and make sure you have a safe plan before leaving.


AthenaWiseGoddess

My mom would always tell me that my birthday money was hers so she could keep a roof over my head. It took me 16 years to realize that was bullshit


Hysterical_flamingo

Reminds me of a couple of my birthdays when I got screamed at for silly things such as watching TV. Happy birthday, OP. Hope you get out soon.


Detroit_218

That sucks too, I'll never understand how they can scream and get so angry about so many simple things, but I guess that's on them. Tysm and I hope so too, at least I'm turning 17 so I only have to wait 1 more year and I'm gone from here.


[deleted]

Happy birthday, You aren't the cause of her problems, and you aren't a terrible daughter.


Detroit_218

Thank you for saying that, rn it's hard to believe because I do feel lame and I know I'm far from the daughter she wanted, but hearing this comforts me a lot, so tysm


[deleted]

The only reason she is calling you awful is because you've become the better person, and she's just jealous


burnt_out45

How cowardly do you have to be that you have kids just to project all of your problems and insecurities onto them? Narcs are disgusting.


FoFoForgot

Looking back to when I was younger I'm surprised how I just gave my parents complete control over me financially


Levi_FtM

My mother shouted at me and threatened to cancel my 15th birthday party (first birthday party with my friends of my life as well) because I accidentally took the wrong bus and needed to ask someone to call my parents to get me from the place I stepped out of the bus after I realized I'm on the wrong one. My teacher took my phone that day (a Friday) and didn't give it back, so I also couldn't answer to any birthday wishes until Monday, which was pretty shitty from the teachers as well.


ArtisFarkus

Happy Birthday!


grimmistired

Hey it was my birthday yesterday! Happy birthday 🎉🎉


Detroit_218

Tysm and also (late) happy birthday to you!


iknowwhatyoudid98

This makes me think of my 13th birthday, I got in trouble for being upset that I had nothing, not even a cake. I got called ungrateful for being upset about it


Detroit_218

At least we are both in the "getting called ungrateful by our parents gang" 👉🏻👉🏻. Okay but jokes aside, im sorry that happened to you and I totally get it, I hope you are doing a lot better now a days.


iknowwhatyoudid98

I'm now 22 and over one year no contact! It still feels like a luxury to be able to get a bath whenever I want, to have clean clothes whenever I want. Happy birthday, sending you virtual hugs one of the hardest things is to break away (if that's what you want) but it will all work out x


Detroit_218

I'm so glad you are better now then! Honestly moving out sounds amazing, I've been planning on it almost since I was 13, and I know it'll be hard but tbh I feel like it'll be a dream come true since at this point I think nothing can be worse than struggling with constant mental health issues because of my mom. So struggling to make the ends meet for a few months by my own in exchange for freedom sounds like an easy deal. Anyway, tysm for your support <3


pervdurabo

Happy birthday!!


[deleted]

Happy birthday.


4mancrew

Ahhhh birthday. Where as a teenager didn't really want it but at the end of the day our parents call us out for what they've done to us when clearly we didn't want it.


Detroit_218

So we're all out here living the same life huh? Sucks that this is a shared experience, but at least we are all here to support each other.


7ustine

I am so sorry OP. I know it's small compared to what you went through, but wanted to wish you a very happy birthday!


Detroit_218

Don't worry, I actually appreciate it a lot and it feels nice to know internet strangers care enough to wish me a happy birthday, so thank you!


muskokapuss

Happy Birthday!


Ok_Astronaut_3711

Happy birthday OP! May it be filled with joy!