Just a perfectly timed photo of a Roman candle going off
By - kimisamazing13
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
I got it in a box of cracker jacks!
I hate it when my Schwartz gets twisted
Holy shit I didn’t know people still remembered that movie
Well your looking at now sir. Everything that happens now is happening now. You should go back to then.
But when will "then" be "now???"
Yea, that’s a dangerous game. Rewatching much loved media from my childhood has been very disappointing for me. A few of the 80s masterpieces that turned out to be terrible upon rewatch for me were : The Greatest American Hero, Knight Rider, A team, Transformers and He-man cartoons to name a few.
The worst was when I gathered my kids together to watch s1e1 of The Greatest American Hero. My wife was also excited b/c she also loved that show as a kid. She even had a whole story about how, when she was a kid, she had to choose between a spanking or having to give up that show as punishment and she took the spanking.
Not even 10 mins into the show and it was unwatchable. The kids looked at us like we must’ve been the stupidest kids in the world to be entertained by this terribly scripted, terribly acted, terribly produced garbage. I died a little that day.
A few shows stood the test of time but most did not. I don’t deliberately seek out old shows anymore but if I come across one, I’ll watch it but I don’t go searching for them anymore.
Now let's see how you *handle* it
I was prepared to be furious if this wasn't the top comment.
May the Schwartz be with ya!
Deserve more upvotes ahah
Lol that's crazy. First thing I thought of and first comment I see.
Looks like an overcompensating Sith.
There’s always a bigger Sith
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!
I came here for this
That’s what yer mum said.
The dark side of Viagra is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural.
Darth Murica always had to have the biggest weapon.
Star Wars, attack of the overcompensating sith
Definitely r/MildlyPenis material.
hate it when I see a post 8 hours late and the top comment is my exact first thought!
To be fair, I would have a lightsaber that long if it meant that I could strike down my enemies without getting into reach of them.
Thecnicly, you could have a ligthsaber long enough to slice the death star, and you could eaven swing it since nearly any additional weight would be added the longer it is
I was going to comment these exact words verbatim
A Sith lord perhaps?
ITS TREASON THEN
“Let’s see obi-wan dodge this”
he will need the highest ground!
Don't try it
Fuck your high ground
This photo is messing with my brain. The shoes and pants are pointing to the left and seemingly so is the arm holding the roman candle. But the head is facing backwards? Is this person's neck snapped? What?! I guess they're actually turned around from the torso up but my brain is having a really hard time understanding the pose.
And are they smoking a giant spliff??
It's his left arm holding the candle and he's looking back over his shoulder towards the camera.
Body is at 45° to the feet,
I'm thinking it's two people because I see both a pair of shorts and a skirt, but I still can't tell them apart. Edit: wait maybe it's a cape that he's holding with his right hand?
Lmfao it’s actually more ‘Murica than people think; it’s a flag being worn as a cape
I thought his head was on backwards at first!!!
Or the galaxy’s largest light saber
Flaming sword of fate or oversized Sith lightsaber? I’ll let you decide.
you are a bold one
Wield it wisely my son.
When light saber owners are overcompensating.
"I See your Schwartz is as big as mine"
I see your schwartz is as big as mine
i see your schwartz is bigger than mine.
i’d sit on it
The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural
"It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
"You underestimate my power!"
"Don't try it"
The power of the schwartz is truly amazing
So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
Everything changed when the fire nation attacked
Darth Vader:Upgrades people, Upgrades
Kylo Ren on steroids
Sith Lord of the lake.
Remember when every other post on reddit used to have a title like this? "Just a picture of this", "just a picture of that"... feel all fuzzy and nostalgic now...
I see your Schwartz is just as long as mine.
Its over Anakin! I have the high ground!
Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
"Now I'm in control
Now I'm in the fall out
Once asleep but now I stand
And I still remember
Your sweet everything
Light a Roman candle
And hold it in your hand"
Come to the dark-side. We have cookies.
looks like a long ass fire sword
Can’t trick me Jedi.
His head is on backwards?
Brother, get the laser sword, the red one, it's the most efficient for heretics
"We will watch your career with great interest"
To hell with you high ground.
The true Azor Ahai LOL.
I see Darth Maul has played Final Fantasy 7
Is this a sith lord from Texas? Or did he just get his saber there?
I cast *Scorching Ray*!
You call that a lightsaber? _this_ is a light saber
Now I'm wondering why lightsabers were limited in their length options.... Why aren't there lightsaber daggers? Why aren't there ones this long and they sort of joust with them? Why can't there be adjustable ones? Will we ever know?!?!?!
I want me a light chainsaw!
Ah I see your Schwartz is as big as mine
Ringed Knight Straight Sword
you always look away for the first shot. I instinctively always do.
KORAAAAA MATA DAAAHHHH
Social distancing for Jedi
I just want one badly
Now *that's* a Lightsaber!
"Parry this" you filthy casual.
[insert Sith joke]
Kylo trying to impress Rey.
That’s a bastard of a lightsaber luke
Ah, so that's why Kylo Ren's lightsaber has the crossguard vents.
No sit its just a miss calibrated light saber.
Yeah okay CoUnT DoOkU
oh look, it's the Soul of Cinder.
Y'all see the face in the pond, right?
I mean, go off I guess
Sith up to 11
The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be...unnatural
Big dick energy
I see the force is strong with you
Big Sith Energy
I misread that as romaine.
You were supposed to be the chosen one!
bruh lightsaber dick,,, will it burn the ass?
Little do you know, that Americans always get a firework boner on July 3, then blow their load the next day.
He has a coat of bacon.
Darth Over Compensatingious
I see your schwarz is almost as big as mine
The force is long with this one.
General grevious breathes heavily in the background
*now that’s a big lightsaber*
I think the Sith Lord is compensating for something.
Luke...I am your father
I wouldn't come near that sith lord with a 10-foot lightsaber
Its Darth Sephiroth
It’s treason then
I'm not looking at the comments before posting this.
There better be a ton of Star Wars comments here.
Star wars 12 teaser
Drunk dude smoking a cigar shooting off fireworks with a drink in his other hand and wearing the flag as a cape. This is the Captain America we deserve.
or Florida Man
The ultimate lightsaber
Is this a Boogaloo member? Hawaiian shirt, Murica flag? I now spot them in my redneck community regularly. I see the palm tree stickers on their vehicles, the Hawaiian shirts, the pro-Trump and NRA stickers.
And they REALLY don't like black or brown people.
Haha definitely not a trumper/racist, just a country boy at heart
Thought another star wars was coming out
Yo is it just me or is his head backwards?
you may have the higher ground **but I have a pike-saber**
Is that... a sith lord?
Only a real Sith can handle a lightsaber that big.
Ultra Long Sabers
I had to zoom in, i tought he was facing left
I see your Schwartz is bigger than mine
Seeing so many Spaceballs references in this sub makes me happy.
Congratulations, you have just created the world's longest lightsaber.
I def thought this was some kind of homemade lightsaber
More like jedi pole vaulting.
IF SHE BREATHES... SHE'S A *THOOOOOT* !
*[Duel of the Fates intensifies]*
Oh, I see Biggus Dickus for himself a laser sword!
Check out the Schwartz on that guy.
A SITH LAWD?
Scottish Light Saber
Biig light saber
Kylo Rens new lightsabre
That's a BIG lightsaber
*Duel of fate plays in the background*
Ah yes, The Ultra Great Lightsaber.
\*Dark Souls boss bar appears\*
The Schwartz is VERY strong in this one
I really thought this was a star wars sub showing an extended Sith Saber
I see you're impressed by the size of my Schwartz
*imperial march intensifies*
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!
If Sephiroth used a lightsaber.
2 there shall be. No more, no less. **One to embody power**, the other to crave it.
That’s one biiig lightsaber
I think that that guy is a sith lord
-a sith lord?
Ultra long lightsabers.
*Darth Vader breathing intensifies*
Alternative title: how to give Luke lightsabre envy.