T O P

Just a perfectly timed photo of a Roman candle going off

Just a perfectly timed photo of a Roman candle going off

knight_who_says_knee

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine


[deleted]

I got it in a box of cracker jacks!


GeraldBWilsonJr

I hate it when my Schwartz gets twisted


[deleted]

Holy shit I didn’t know people still remembered that movie


[deleted]

[удалено]


brisquet

Well your looking at now sir. Everything that happens now is happening now. You should go back to then.


tokulord

But when will "then" be "now???"


Sharknado4President

Soon.


JK_NC

Yea, that’s a dangerous game. Rewatching much loved media from my childhood has been very disappointing for me. A few of the 80s masterpieces that turned out to be terrible upon rewatch for me were : The Greatest American Hero, Knight Rider, A team, Transformers and He-man cartoons to name a few. The worst was when I gathered my kids together to watch s1e1 of The Greatest American Hero. My wife was also excited b/c she also loved that show as a kid. She even had a whole story about how, when she was a kid, she had to choose between a spanking or having to give up that show as punishment and she took the spanking. Not even 10 mins into the show and it was unwatchable. The kids looked at us like we must’ve been the stupidest kids in the world to be entertained by this terribly scripted, terribly acted, terribly produced garbage. I died a little that day. A few shows stood the test of time but most did not. I don’t deliberately seek out old shows anymore but if I come across one, I’ll watch it but I don’t go searching for them anymore.


big_duo3674

Now let's see how you *handle* it


OliverChest

Dammit


johnny_sweatpants

I was prepared to be furious if this wasn't the top comment.


RelevantTalkingHead

May the Schwartz be with ya!


Crocsx

Deserve more upvotes ahah


camaudio

Lol that's crazy. First thing I thought of and first comment I see.


saktronic

Looks like an overcompensating Sith.


[deleted]

There’s always a bigger Sith


snausagesinablanket

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!


NYCConcrete

I came here for this


dsptpc

That’s what yer mum said.


PoopDickMcGwonks

The dark side of Viagra is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural.


pbjcrazy

Darth Murica always had to have the biggest weapon.


DreamslayerNightwing

Star Wars, attack of the overcompensating sith


CinciPhil

Definitely r/MildlyPenis material.


LeftoversNZ

hate it when I see a post 8 hours late and the top comment is my exact first thought!


SpacemanBatman

Darth Phallus


Paper_Shotgun

To be fair, I would have a lightsaber that long if it meant that I could strike down my enemies without getting into reach of them.


mathymaster

Thecnicly, you could have a ligthsaber long enough to slice the death star, and you could eaven swing it since nearly any additional weight would be added the longer it is


pfudorpfudor

I was going to comment these exact words verbatim


seater_meter

A Sith lord perhaps?


wildherb15

ITS TREASON THEN


Aubdasi

“Let’s see obi-wan dodge this”


Kelseycutieee

he will need the highest ground!


andrewpz10

Don't try it


[deleted]

Fuck your high ground


ZeikJT

This photo is messing with my brain. The shoes and pants are pointing to the left and seemingly so is the arm holding the roman candle. But the head is facing backwards? Is this person's neck snapped? What?! I guess they're actually turned around from the torso up but my brain is having a really hard time understanding the pose.


Confy

And are they smoking a giant spliff??


Ankoku_Teion

It's his left arm holding the candle and he's looking back over his shoulder towards the camera. Body is at 45° to the feet,


Martian_Pudding

I'm thinking it's two people because I see both a pair of shorts and a skirt, but I still can't tell them apart. Edit: wait maybe it's a cape that he's holding with his right hand?


kimisamazing13

Lmfao it’s actually more ‘Murica than people think; it’s a flag being worn as a cape


idbanthat

I thought his head was on backwards at first!!!


PepperBaldwin

Or the galaxy’s largest light saber


shadowlarx

Flaming sword of fate or oversized Sith lightsaber? I’ll let you decide.


Netshakk

Hello there.


CinciPhil

General Kenobi


spooktoberishere

you are a bold one


1inthepink

Wield it wisely my son.


mcpoopy21

Lancesaber


Thatdewd57

When light saber owners are overcompensating.


Shaggywaffle

"I See your Schwartz is as big as mine" -Dark Helmet


mobiuthuselah

I see your schwartz is as big as mine


tchilibop

Sith fishing


cthuluwamp

i see your schwartz is bigger than mine.


Anome69

Darth Compensation


[deleted]

i’d sit on it


andrebocc

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural


_Cyberostrich_

"It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"


J_R_Kelly

"You underestimate my power!"


SwiftM7

"Don't try it"


[deleted]

Pew pew


iconiqcp

The power of the schwartz is truly amazing


ChickumNwaffles

So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.


LazyLawzi

Everything changed when the fire nation attacked


danifanboy

Darth Vader:Upgrades people, Upgrades


yungchoppa23

Kylo Ren on steroids


Kentucky7887

Sith Lord of the lake.


RufusMcdoogan

Rrrrrroxanne...


stepping_stones000

Remember when every other post on reddit used to have a title like this? "Just a picture of this", "just a picture of that"... feel all fuzzy and nostalgic now...


Riot55

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!


Kamleko

I see your Schwartz is just as long as mine.


Silvertower44

Its over Anakin! I have the high ground!


Galaxy-egg

Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy


Bageezax

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.


solarserpent

"Now I'm in control Now I'm in the fall out Once asleep but now I stand And I still remember Your sweet everything Light a Roman candle And hold it in your hand"


0-100

Come to the dark-side. We have cookies.


max_restricted

looks like a long ass fire sword


kidcbm

Can’t trick me Jedi.


aberdevine

His head is on backwards?


lawlietl4

Brother, get the laser sword, the red one, it's the most efficient for heretics


Shadow__987

"We will watch your career with great interest" Anakin :


motnock

To hell with you high ground.


berningice

The true Azor Ahai LOL.


Golden-Owl

I see Darth Maul has played Final Fantasy 7


ChainsawRipTearBust

Is this a sith lord from Texas? Or did he just get his saber there?


I_might_be_weasel

I cast *Scorching Ray*!


mookanana

paige no!


Algo-ryth-mix

You call that a lightsaber? _this_ is a light saber


mywordstickle

Now I'm wondering why lightsabers were limited in their length options.... Why aren't there lightsaber daggers? Why aren't there ones this long and they sort of joust with them? Why can't there be adjustable ones? Will we ever know?!?!?!


tokulord

I want me a light chainsaw!


mywordstickle

Yes!


JaceMalcolm

Ah I see your Schwartz is as big as mine


xSteins

Schlong lightsaber


Lord-Table

Ringed Knight Straight Sword


QuintenBoosje

you always look away for the first shot. I instinctively always do.


Nowhereman50

*OPEN FIRE!*


TheRaveTrain

KORAAAAA MATA DAAAHHHH


limt__

Social distancing for Jedi


GoodboyJohnnyBoy

I just want one badly


Red_Light_RCH3

Now *that's* a Lightsaber!


LordofLongOdds

"Parry this" you filthy casual.


F9Mute

[insert Sith joke]


OliverChest

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.


TheHellcatBandit

Kylo trying to impress Rey.


gmabarrett

That’s a bastard of a lightsaber luke


Durincort

Ah, so that's why Kylo Ren's lightsaber has the crossguard vents.


Ditroit99

No sit its just a miss calibrated light saber.


ethanh333

Yeah okay CoUnT DoOkU


[deleted]

Faaaaanaaaanaaaa!


Adarapxam

oh look, it's the Soul of Cinder.


10000pelicans

Y'all see the face in the pond, right?


kimisamazing13

Oh shit


CeanHuck

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.


CorndogTheGreat

I mean, go off I guess


Major-Wishbone

Sith up to 11


knightfluttershy

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be...unnatural


Fosterpig

Big dick energy


RJGamer1002

I see the force is strong with you


wispydoo

Big Sith Energy


Gammawood210

I misread that as romaine.


GumbaliciousDef

You were supposed to be the chosen one!


i_cant_get_good_nam3

bruh lightsaber dick,,, will it burn the ass?


Beoaodh

Little do you know, that Americans always get a firework boner on July 3, then blow their load the next day.


Andiqmc

He has a coat of bacon.


martinblack89

Darth Over Compensatingious


Llewlits

I see your schwarz is almost as big as mine


Killua_EU

The force is long with this one.


dropkicked_eu

General grevious breathes heavily in the background


ItzProton

*now that’s a big lightsaber*


moonpumper

I think the Sith Lord is compensating for something.


ManiacalZManiac

Sitheroph


[deleted]

Luke...I am your father


shakespeares-gm

I wouldn't come near that sith lord with a 10-foot lightsaber


okin45

Its Darth Sephiroth


jewniglet

It’s treason then


MegaLCRO

I'm not looking at the comments before posting this. There better be a ton of Star Wars comments here. EDIT: Good.


arte_nm

Bwwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmvrr


Adem92foster

Star wars 12 teaser


Dudeist-Monk

Drunk dude smoking a cigar shooting off fireworks with a drink in his other hand and wearing the flag as a cape. This is the Captain America we deserve.


CinciPhil

or Florida Man


the_guitargeek

Cap’n MURICA!


MrNimble

"cigar"


DankMemes4Life5

The ultimate lightsaber


invent_or_die

Is this a Boogaloo member? Hawaiian shirt, Murica flag? I now spot them in my redneck community regularly. I see the palm tree stickers on their vehicles, the Hawaiian shirts, the pro-Trump and NRA stickers. And they REALLY don't like black or brown people.


kimisamazing13

Haha definitely not a trumper/racist, just a country boy at heart


Reiko707

Thought another star wars was coming out


Orgalorg3000

Yo is it just me or is his head backwards?


ManticMass420

Extendo-saber


grifibastion

you may have the higher ground **but I have a pike-saber**


Magyarharcos

BIG SWOD


BLUcrabs

Is that... a sith lord?


TimAA2017

Only a real Sith can handle a lightsaber that big.


thing_rat

Ultra Long Sabers https://youtu.be/VTDjOWPawTA


charlloss123

I had to zoom in, i tought he was facing left


tiggitytony

I see your Schwartz is bigger than mine


tokulord

Seeing so many Spaceballs references in this sub makes me happy.


PerryLegoCity60134

Congratulations, you have just created the world's longest lightsaber.


Capt__Murphy

I def thought this was some kind of homemade lightsaber


drlongtrl

More like jedi pole vaulting.


Leapswastaken

IF SHE BREATHES... SHE'S A *THOOOOOT* !


Ranma_chan

*[Duel of the Fates intensifies]*


Rocktrout331490

Oh, I see Biggus Dickus for himself a laser sword!


Rocktrout331490

Oh, I see Biggus Dickus for himself a laser sword!


cobeetrice

Check out the Schwartz on that guy.


cobeetrice

Check out the Schwartz on that guy.


Killer_Croc_II

A SITH LAWD?


DustyBeetle

odachi lightsaber


kdnrhaodmwlwjdkelf-d

Flandre Sword


[deleted]

Scottish Light Saber


Boban069

Biig light saber


admiraljkb

Darth Sploder!


Noduz

Kylo Rens new lightsabre


Im_Savvage

That's a BIG lightsaber


Aceheroic

*Duel of fate plays in the background*


Glord345

Ah yes, The Ultra Great Lightsaber. \*Dark Souls boss bar appears\*


Alnor

The Schwartz is VERY strong in this one


Cheezzlez

I really thought this was a star wars sub showing an extended Sith Saber


WH1PL4SH180

I see you're impressed by the size of my Schwartz


tspanguluri

*imperial march intensifies*


WH1PL4SH180

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!


nightshde

If Sephiroth used a lightsaber.


cr4bb4tt13

2 there shall be. No more, no less. **One to embody power**, the other to crave it.


marlado6969

Sephiroth!


Norbi_Gamer_YT

That’s one biiig lightsaber


The_Panda_Ruben

I think that that guy is a sith lord -a sith lord?


Dorist16

Ultra long lightsabers.


bigred823

*Darth Vader breathing intensifies*


ckayfish

Alternative title: how to give Luke lightsabre envy.