By - _Eisenstein007
Introvert here. I, in fact, cannot read minds
Ngl. I'm an introvert and I have shitty social skills. I don't know what this guy is talking about.
Well that's because there's a link between social anxiety/generally bad social skills and introversion. It's just that *technically* they don't have to both be true for a single person. They often are though, I think for a large chunk of introverted people, maybe even a majority. I mean it makes sense. Whatever part of the brain makes someone chill out and feel more at home with themselves, also probably dictates how well that person does under social pressure, which is of course always felt when socializing, even if we don't notice. Another reason for the link might be that an introvert that spends more time with themselves, might genuinely just lack social skills because of that. I know that's the case for me.
The thing is some people are actually extroverts but have terrible social anxiety so even if they wanted to they can’t, introversion is more about preferring being alone rather then surround by a group of people
Oh yeah absolutely. The stupid confusion between social anxiety and introversion has long been discussed many times, and I am aware of the differences. I just kinda wanted to say that I think it makes sense people confuse the two, because they do seem to go hand in hand, a lot of the times.
Yeah that’s definitely true. I’m terrible at starting conversations with new people but I’m absolutely an extrovert who’s much happier when around others. It’s a pretty frustrating juxtaposition
Fr, I'm extraverted but awkward. I like socialising with others but that doesn't mean I'm actually good at it lol
I think its less about being alone, thats wanting solutude, I am introverted but get lonely, I need a consistent partner I can spend time with, my partner doesnt drain me at all, but social events do a lot. So its more to do with having a controlled and comfortable enviroment aka we like the usual and casual more than a random club or festival we never been in. I feel at home going to my usual hang out spot but uneasy at new places full of hecticness, if that makes sense.
I definitely agree with you. I’m introverted but I still have a few friends where we just click and I’m more outgoing and goofy with them lol
Introvert here, I have social skills as a means to an end. I'm an observe and then speak type.
Lmao first thing I thought. "They can read you like a book" okay grandpa, time for your pills.
Grandpa knew you’d say that. He’s psychic too.
I'm pretty good at reading body language, tone, phrasing and other things like that though. But I'm not sure it has to do with being an introvert. Maybe more with stuff that happened in the past.
I mean that's just called being a human
Exactly... This is an arrogant way to explain social anxiety by comparing it to having super powers, as if extroverts can't read people
If you need the right vibe and the right person to have a simple conversation then you lack social skills... And I'm saying that as an anxious person that lacks social skills
It's an arrogant way of putting it, but for some of us our social need is low enough we don't feel any desire to just talk to people. That's where the "right vibe and the right people" part comes in. I'm not going to just randomly talk to people for any old reason.
I second this
Same lol- they had me in the first sentence and then they pulled that weird shit out of nowhere 😂
Yeah I don't understand why that Twitter user is fetishizing us. I'm a pretty serious introvert who needs space and has a hard time opening up and am mildly oblivious. I work with others who are way worse than me. We're not freaking gurus, we just don't express outwardly, that's all
That sounds like something someone, who can read minds, would say!
I can actually read yours. You’re thinking, “how do commas work again?”
Edit: I’m sorry. That was mean
Lol. I did consider reworking that. xD Ended up just saying screw it and left it in. Here’s a few more for you though.
, , , ,
And one more for the road, no period though
In all seriousness, I definitely should read a legitimate “Commas for dummies” style book or guide eventually.
That’s… exactly what I was thinking!
Introvert here who has a career in sales. I can turn it on whenever I want but it's fucking exhausting.
that is the most accurate description of introversion vs extroversion.
My man if I need to I can be the most charming guy in the room and make everyone think man thats a cool guy.
If i don't need to, I can happily sit in the corner with my hand on my head sipping my drink for 3 hours.
This. But being the charming guy for the evening takes away about a week of social energy and its exhausting. Nah I'm gonna just watch you sharply from my cosy corner
If I have company come to visit and have to entertain I need a solid 2 or 3 days to recharge.
How many times you have been the most charming guy in room tho...
It's in your head isn't it...
Nah, speak softly, stare at their forehead ask them questions about themselves(people love to talk about themselves), act really interested and impressed when they talk. "WHOA, YOURE THE BRILLIANT PERSON THAT HANDLES ALL THE BOOK KEEPING FOR ALL US CRAZY SALESMAN?! MAN LET ME TELL YOU, YOURE THE GLUE THAT HOLDS THIS PLACE TOGETHER"
Then wait for the perfect time when theres a break in the action to tell a joke. Jokes are all about timing and delivery.
If you want to be well liked make people feel good about themselves based on your interaction. Basically the total opposite of your comment.
This is the introvert handbook. You’re right, people love to talk about themselves and introverts don’t like to so much so people will believe you’re a great person and accidentally open up to you easily and all you have to do is rephrase something they said as a question and they’ll just keep expounding more and more lol
>all you have to do is rephrase something they said as a question and they’ll just keep expounding more and more lol
Holy shit this. I've met ***so*** many people that are somehow amazed by the most basic assessments or advice on something they're going through. Had no idea why. I had no idea it was such a common thing.
Meeee toooo. Like I think about things like that all day, but I guess it never occurred to them? 🤷♀️
The rephrasing what they said into an open ended question is essentially how I get thru my longer social interactions hahaha
You should write a book mate
You're the glue thats holding this thread together
Nicest thing said to me all week. Thank you.
You’re doing it again, aren’t you 😏
Man you're really perceptive. Can't get nothing by you ! Sharp as a tack.
Stay away from politics.
It's called how to win friends and influence people... it's a really old book
And yet, effective.
In the same way, I learned small talk, listening attentively, remembering what was said (very important skill) and asking intelligent questions. It worked for hours, and the person I was talking to apparently had a good time too. At some point I was the one who told more than others in one evening. But I still like conversations in pairs best.
Oh man I'm at my best in a small group of 4 or 5.
Do you ever feel like you're basically forcing learned behaviour? As if you're more of a machine going through the motions than a human genuinely interacting with people?
I can be charismatic if I want to, but I feel kind of like a dick that I'm consciously saying and doing what I know works, while the other person is probably being genuine.
I think being good at anything is born through repetition.
And being nice to people and making them feel good is totally the opposite of being a dick.
Nobody is just Santa Clause naturally. You have to put the work in to be good at it like anything else.
I guess that makes sense, thanks!
People don’t remember what you say but they remember how you make them feel.
Man that's some true wisdom. I hope people save this comment and drill it into their brains.
>stare at their forehead
how to end a conversation in less than 15 seconds
That guy probably thinks people don't notice LOL
Nah I've seen introverts like that. It's powerful. I'm jealous ;__;
Lesson 1 for speaking to extroverts: Hyperbole
This is far more accurate than what was posted. As an introvert myself I 100% agree with this
However, while I do think I read people well, I’d also notice I ignore my take on people. It’s stupid. I can often tell, “this guy doesn’t have my best interests in mind”. And then I’ll decide to trust him anyway to avoid conflict. I always regret it.
Yeah did it for 3 years but now I'm in logistics work 50% of my time alone and love it. Less exhausted when uk home even if I do way me heavy work.
But when I turn myself on for a crowd that I entertain it gives me energy and makes me excited. When I control the vibe of the room I'm fine if the room is in chaos it gets tiresome
Same. Been in sales most of the last 20 years. I have to make a conscious effort to turn it on. It doesn’t come naturally.
I did my time in retail and yeah, you learn to turn on the fake extrovert but it absolutely wipes you out after a while. It is exhausting fighting your every natural urge. Almost like having two personalities.
I’m impressed you could forge a career in sales.
Anyone can do anything to an extent. Just need to put the reps in.
First time I ever cold called anyone I had rocks in my mouth and a stutter. Whatever you want to do in life just keep showing up.
'90% of life is showing up.' Woody Allen.
Exactly. I can joke and talk to anyone at a party, but it feels like a job. I feel like I keep having to look for things to talk about to keep up my end.
I’m personally happy not talking to anyone for days at a time. If the family goes on vacation without me, people keep asking if I’m okay and if I want to come over and it’s a hard pass for me. I love finally getting some alone time. I’m glad to see them when they get back, but I’m perfectly content in my own head. I think about stuff watch the birds, or hang out with the horses.
We had a vacation planned for a week that Covid cancelled a couple of years ago. I decided to keep my vacation and told my family to pretend I wasn’t at home. Don’t ask me to do anything or help with anything. It was probably one of the best vacations I ever had.
Ugh that’s why I tried my best to get out of customer related work. I’m a massage therapist which can be emotionally draining, but I just have to do the amicable social thing for 5 min and then it’s silence for the session. Honestly a game changer.
Customer services drains you like sales does without all the perks of the money.
I can sell matches to a bonfire, i can trade an icecube to an Eskimo, but I don't want to "small talk" with you.
This is me too. Everyone thinks I'm amazing at social situations and a born salesperson, they have no idea how much effort goes into that illusion and it is utterly exhausting. What's actually happening is I'm freaking out in my head over every little detail and replaying conversations in my head to figure out if I did it right. My husband knows if go to a company party with him, I will not be leaving the house for at least two days after, and I'll sleep a lot.
That’s exactly right! I feel the same. I can turn it on when needed and am natural in certain settings. However, when I have to turn it on consciously, it drains the hell out of me.
This is it right here.
I’m an introvert but this shit is so cringe. Being introverted doesn’t make you better than anybody at all. 2 sides of the same coin. And it’s a SKILL to be able to communicate effectively with anyone not just your group of 3 friends and your mom
Yeah this sounded real 'I studied the blade' cringe tbh
yeah this some \*tips fedora\* type shit right here
Lmao the dude in the pic (Confucius?) is wearing a fucking fedora
People on Reddit really think doing something less makes them special and inquisitive
you guys have friends?
You guys go places?
You guys have moms?
No, they're trolling us
And like all skills, you get better at it by practicing.
Someone who avoids social interaction as much as they can just isn't likely to be as good at socialising than someone who does it regularly.
And not even mentioning the fact that the guy in the OP just pretended all the introvert people who DO have serious issues with interpersonal relationships and wish it wasn't that way (Social anxiety, abusive childhoods, trauma) don't exist.
Such a dumb post
Speak for yourself. I do lack social skills
Being an Introverts doesnt mean lacks social skills. It's just "do you gain or lose energy from being in social environments?" Gain? You're an extrovert. Lose? You're an introvert
There's more to it ig, but literally nothing in this post is "introversion"
I know tons of "quiet" or socially awkward extroverts
Finally someone whose knows the true definition of introvert and extroverts.
Yea sure, but nobody always gains or loses energy in this black or white way. There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or introvert. Everyone needs down time and everyone also craves social interaction.
Exactly. I’m great in many social situations. They just tire me out. There’s room for all sorts. I like bringing one of my sales guys to meetings because he’ll talk all fucking day and I can handle the other stuff.
These things always lose me when they start dropping the subtle condescension in. "They can tell you more about you than yourself"? No. That's annoyingly presumptuous and a very quiet version of I'm-different-and-so-I'm-smarter/better/wiser/superior
If he stopped after the first three sentences, it would be accurate.
Even the first three sentences are inaccurate. Introverts can totally be interested in other people. They just find being around others for long periods of time draining. And they can also talk with everyone. It’s just not something they want to do all the time and they need to recharge their batteries afterwards.
Not being interested in other people *is* a missing social skill.
Am introvert, can confirm I lack social skills. We get less practice
Amen, when I used to be forced to be social (ex-wives/girlfriends) I could, as I've gotten older and with a big help from the pandemic/working from home, my ability and desire to be convivial with other people is just blown. And I know it comes off as "that dude's weird", which I suppose is how it was always going to end up regardless.
Having a dog helps. I can get along with other dog owners for the 10 or so minutes we're forced to interact.
I should probably seek therapy.
I feel the last section is accurate for me. As a manager, I’m often in meetings with extroverted folk who just seem to take over and talk for the sake of hearing this own voice. This discourages me from participating in any dialogue.
I don't think it's cause they're extroverts.
Fun part, they talk so much because nobody else does. Thats typical how the interaction with very extrovert and very introvert (relative of eachother) goes if none of the 2 partys adresses that.
The second somebody brings it to attention and enforces it one meeting it will drasticly change the whole meetings.
That's not what 'extrovert' means, mate. Look it up.
There are plenty of talkative introverts in the real world.
absolutely. Everything else is just his way of trying to brag.
Remind if those articles that "new study show you're actually a genius if you wake up at 12 and do nothing with your life!"
Hey that's me.
Yeah this is just cringe shit to justify miserable behaviour.
I'm an introvert, I actually lack social skills and no, I don't read anyone like a book or anything. This is just the person I am. No grown-up has ever attacked me because of it, nor did I try to carve a "special" personality about who I am.
We all have different traits and struggles. Whenever an introvert talks about how it makes them special I immediately assume they are stupid tbh.
My brother is an introvert. I am an extrovert. I always invite him, but don't push if he can't make it. When we are together, he chips in where he has something to contribute and if he feels like it. Sometimes, he will sit and enjoy the conversation.
He is nearly universally liked by everyone who knows him. He is extremely good at socialization, but he sometimes needs to recharge and be alone. He doesn't hate getting together with people. He just can't do it all the time.
At his work, he is extremely valued. He speaks up and interacts with others easily. He was promoted to a management level and leads high visibility projects. He is great at working with a project team, but loves most the days he can just sit at his computer and code all day.
Introverts can have the same strengths and weaknesses as anyone else. Extroverts aren't a bunch of loud, braggarts. People think these terms are caricatures, when they barely are even indicative of generalized behaviors.
Thank you for sharing your comment. People should realize the truth in your message.
These posts are for made to flatter "introverts" and boost their ego and circle jerk themselves so that they will spread the content for views. Anyone who falls for this shit cannot read *anything* and are being finessed.
Hell yea friend, be who you are and be comfortable with it! Every one has a different skill set and socialization is a skill too, Nothing to feel bad over
Yeah, I really do wonder why so many people choose to let others watch them suck their own dick.
yeah it makes this entire post just read like a massive cope
Finally somebody put it into words.
Yeah the first part is spot on, the second part is ridiculous. Both extroverts and introverts can do that, it’s a separate personality trait.
It’s just pseudo-philosophy painting in broad strokes so the vast majority of people can relate as though the post was made specifically for them. “I’m so deep and unique and insightful, you guys! This rando on the internet made a post saying so.”
Thank you, I thought exactly the same. It’s clear that the person is introvert and needs to measure his intelligence.
Yeah I’m a big introvert and I was with this until that line, then I was over it lol. I consider myself to be able to read people well, but that doesn’t mean I know anything about them.
This guy sounds fucking unbearable. You can’t call it introversion when it’s just a case of nobody wanting to be around your insufferable narcissism
Oooo I know everything about you, even more than you know about yourself. I’ve been watching you
>introverts don’t lack social skills, **they’re just not interested**
Sounds like someone got rejected to me
Oooh maybe! Haha
Yeah, whoever wrote this probably has fake anxiety too which he dudes as an excuse to be an asshole.
Being an Introvert I can't tell shit about others as imma just casually sit silent and do the judging in my head and then say hii (in my head)
Introvert doesn’t mean „shy“ or „socially inept“. It literally means interaction with (many) others is exhausting, and you recharge your batteries by being alone.
Extroverts loathe being alone and recharge by being around others.
Little known fact, extroverts can also be terrible at social interaction.
Source: Am extroverted with shit social skills, it gets very weird.
Yeah has nothing to do with social skills anxiety. You can be the most socially apt person and be pretty introverted or be the most awkward person when with others but are extroverted.
I need my alone time too, I don't loathe it. I am dependant on socializing to recharge though.
🙄 introverts don't have magical powers. Just say you don't like being around ppl and go. Like gd.
This is so cringe
Why does reddit always act like being an introvert is some kind of super power.
"Know you better than you know yourself" lmao fuck off. How condescending
Because this site is chock full of people with poor social skills that read a post about introverts vs extroverts before and made it their whole personality
I’ve seen posts of people talking about how cool and skilled it is to be introverted and that extroverts need to learn to ‘shut up and read a book’. It’s pure cope
Textbook case of sour grapes.
This is just as dumb and annoying as the "introverts can't talk" side of things imo. We're just people who derive our energy from our alone time. But we're still just people.
Introvert doesn't mean shy, extrovert doesn't mean outgoing. It simply means you recharge by being alone and by socializing, respectively. I for one am an extremely shy extrovert, that shit is a challenge.
Yeah, same. Most people who know me would tell you I’m an introvert. I’m not, I’m just extremely anxious. I think they look the same from the outside, but they really aren’t. I’m happier to have them think that than realize I’m constantly terrified though. I kinda accepted the label myself for a long while, but eventually realized that while most socializing took a lot out of me, *successful* socializing (even small moments) really did energize me and raise my mood.
On the rare occasions when I’m around people who don’t make me anxious, I’m completely different. They can’t shut me up. I can take a hint that it’s time to leave, but they *have to* start dropping hints because I’ll always want to hang out a little longer. It’s a such a relief to feel able to act the way that would otherwise be natural for me, I get a little overexcited.
Oof. Sorry dude, that's definitely the short end of the stick.
It's easy to think you know everything about everyone when you are your only source.
Categorically false. You're describing narcissism.
I'm an introvert and I am definitely bad at reading people. Generalizing people is shitty, doing that by ascribing positive traits to them doesn't make it any less wrong than when it's done with negative traits.
uh huh. sure.
This inaccurate AF
Introvert: gets energized from alone time.
Extrovert: gets energized from people around them.
I hope I'm not the "right person", I don't want to hear about myself.
As an introvert I can read this person's soul and it is telling me that... hm, maybe they may not be serious. I also feel they do not want to be the right person to hear about themselves. I also feel that they are capable of hoping and were possibly on reddit about 35 minutes ago.
You don't have to be an introvert to read ppl, and no, we won't tell You more about Yourself than You can. Most of us keep what we think to ourselves. Yes, we can talk to everyone and we do have social skills, it's just most of us prefer our privacy
Who cares about getting introverts to talk? Talk, don’t talk… who cares?
Pretty pretentious to say “they can read you like a book.” Lol
Anything as an excuse why you suck at life
this sub has become unbearably cringe
Bruh I'm just reserved, not this all knowing, deliberately conscious of other people, weirdo sitting in the corner.
Why is it so condescending lmfao
So introverted his brain was lost in his asshole
I started as an extrovert and lost interest.
Or -just maybe- they’re just really, really fucking dull.
Nah. I am notoriously Not Dull. I just need a night off after tearing the place up. This guy is not talking about introverts, but socially inept people.
I'm an introvert, but this just made me cringe. Pretentious as hell.
Cringe AF, someone’s a conceited asshat. Probably not even an introvert, just so annoying they are left alone
How does this have 109K likes on twitter with everyone being like “so true”. This is such a condescending thing. “Can tell you more about you than yourself” how pretentious.
Introvert here. I speak in front of crowds as part of my job. I can chatter on for hours and people seem to think I'm engaging. I'm stressed to the gills before I start talking, perfectly fine when I'm talking and absolutely exhausted when I'm done.
All my life I thought I was an introvert. Turns out I'm autistic.. Took me 40 years to realise..
30 years for me!
Who is upvoting this stupid shit?
Introvert here, I cannot read you like a book, and its not that im not interested, its that, unless its the right environment or flow conversation, I just dont have the social skills. They dissipate from me
This is one of the stupidest most narcissistic things I’ve seen in a long time.
No I’m just awkward
Yah no. My social skills are horrible and get really bad anxiety. Thats why I don’t like talking to people.
Introvert are neither social anxious or social mastermind by default. Some can be one or the other, almost all are just regular person. The only difference between an introvert, an ambivert and an extrovert is how much of their time they want to use for individual vs social activities.
Stop applying false depth to my crippling social anxiety and awkwardness
I agree with your point, but I don't think social anxiety and introversion are the same thing. Introversion just means socializing takes energy.
Introverts suck themselves off more than anybody on the planet.
It's fucking annoying
I do lack some social skills though
Introverts live in their own head and they *think* they can read people like books. In reality they never talk to people enough to understand them. Impossible to prove yourself wrong
I’m an introvert and I definitely lack social skills. Anyway this guy sounds pretentious asf
He is.No question about that.
In the meantime i'm making somwhat meh progress on my social skills so far.
Quiet kid behaviour
> then, they talk
Making me far more dramatic than I am
Yea, could be. Or they could just not be interested and the other six sentences are nonsense
Lol if they need “the right person” then it just sounds like they can only read a small subset of people
This person is actually describing narcissists. When you see it like that, it actually makes a lot of sense. They know themselves so well that when they see someone that's more like them than most people, the "right" person, they just reflect their own qualities onto them. Like I am doing right now.
Lol, what a stupid thing to say "They can read you like a book".
We get it, your shy.
"They can tell you more about you than yourself."
This is a terrible person lol
This is so fucking cringe
You have social anxiety you’re not fucking Sherlock Holmes
I've never liked antisocial folks. They are horribly full of themselves and condescending.
Your post just seems like a cover-up for their ego and anxiety issues.
That’s just a more complicated way of saying they lack social skills
Nah I just have ass English skills
i enjoy being alone for the most part, but sometimes i enjoy being with other people. just not doing normal people things (taking a walk in the park, etc) i still find it hard to make new friends however.
“They can read you like a book”. I may be an introvert but I also have adhd.
There's definitely introverts out there who lack social skills. One thing I find aggravating about these 'introverts do this' or 'introverts do that' memes is that they try to take a wide, diverse group and reduce them down to a particular set of behaviors that the meme creator relates to excluding introverts who aren't like them. Yes, some introverts do have great social skills, they're just selective with who they talk to. There's also introverts with undeveloped social skills and social anxiety. It just depends.
The thing about introverts is just that they have a different type of social battery.
While extrovert gain energy by interacting with others extroverts lose energy just by having a conversation, not real energy but social energy, the anxiety and expectations buildup too much and they tend to lose get tired of the conversation.
That doesn't mean we are intelligent, special today, this might have been true when the only thing introverts could do was reading book but today with th Internet, video games, and such, being an introvert just mean you must have one good skill that isn't social.
And although extroverts and introverts are different being an introvert doesn't make someone special they feel different because they cant find others like them so they must be unique, special or have a problem the truth is it is just hard to find people that don't like to go out.
Introvert that is a salesman here, I go from “fuck yourself” to “minister of the cool guy club” to “fuck yourself” again in a spam of a second like its a switch.
I can, I know how to talk with strangers and be charming and cool, I just despise all this fake shit and pretend to care about someone I just met, my social batteries ran out very fast in these situations. Only reason I haven’t swapped careers is because its hard to swap careers at my age
Add social anxiety to your introvert and all of this is [wrong](https://tenor.com/view/luke-sky-walker-wrong-everything-every-word-was-wrong-gif-11966746)
This is wrong. I’m an introvert and introverts are just people. This makes them sound like they have superpowers and the fact is not being able to communicate socially is not always a choice and not always an advantage
Jesus this is cringey
It really depends on the introvert. Some are actually like this, others really are not capable of doing it properly. There are many types of introversion.
This is dumb as hell
I know some real stupid idiot introverts. Don’t mystify this nonsense lol.