T O P
busybody_nightowl

Schools run out of printer paper before the end of the year, but some nut jobs think these are a good idea? What the absolute fuck?


gust0w

It’s crazy how true this is, before I became a teacher I had no idea that printer paper would be like rations in war… God forbid I need to print out extra coloring pages for 5 year olds…


pondrthis

I went to war for science department scantron sheets for the spring finals this year, gotta remember to disarm the landmines I left around over the summer.


barspoonbill

Well you’re on a watchlist now.


Double_Gap_1181

UK teacher here, why is this? Our schools have overstock of paper all the time, I always unlock a room with pallets of printing paper whenever it's needed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Maximum_Employer5580

have you ever seen what some of these superintendents are paid? There was one here where I live that was being paid not only a $150k salary, but he also had a clothing allowance for both him AND his wife, and a $3000 car allowance PER MONTH, plus god knows how many other useless perks. I think there was a housing allowance thrown in for good measure also. I mean the taxpayer was basically footing every single bill in this guys house, and for his wife who didn't even work for the school district. He ended up leaving awhile later for a different school district, but I'm sure he fleeced that one as well.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ArtemisGlides

SKINNER!


rmo420

SuperNintendo Chalmers


dandelionfirebird

Makes me wonder what they cost and who got paid for them


UnlikelyKaiju

>who got paid for them I'd wager some contractor who specializes in building prisons. A lotta schools are already designed by prison architects.


strangersIknow

That explains the barbed wire on top of the fences surrounding my high school...


smorkoid

Shoving kids in a steel box so they don't get shot is surely the purest distillation of freedom imaginable


GruntBlender

Until that one kid starts farting inside, and everybody has to breathe it.


blizter

Or just when they piss their pants out of fear...


Zealousideal_Bus_528

Or when Trevor has a temper tantrum and locks himself inside because he doesn’t want to give his presentation in front of the class.... I’m assuming u can’t open from the outside? Now, There’s definitely no room in the budget for teacher RAISES!


deezx1010

Teacher raises will be in the form of guns and ammo. I can already see the NRA lobbying for it


Meborg

Like some fucked up metro 2033 currency. "you did well bob, heres 23 rounds of 5.56, and 4 rounds of armor piercing!"


Solanthas

The fact that this almost isn't satire hurts my soul


Arryu

And the have to sit in it for hours while the cops stand outside staring at their phone and tackling parents.


magnevicently

But at least their hands were sanitized


loliforlaifu3

Give them some slack, they were probably preparing by doing some practice shots at some cans before heading in...


[deleted]

One time there was a shooting near my school so we all went into a lockdown. One kid wouldn't stop farting so the teacher asked him if farting was worth dying for.


GruntBlender

That's horrifying.


Azalzaal

The kid should say id rather die than give up my god given right to fart


buckleberry_fairy

Speaking of: what’s the air supply on this thing? Isn’t that a point of failure? Attacking air supply is just the next series of school massacres.


GruntBlender

Exactly. That's why this isn't a solution. The right solution is obviously motion sensing automated defence turrets in every hallway.


WackHeisenBauer

The shooter could simply set fire to the room. The kids would be slowly broiled. And since the police won’t engage for at least an hour that’s a whole class of dead kids with zero survivors.


[deleted]

Look at the size of it. There’s no way you’d fit a full class worth of people in there. Some poor fuck is getting left out to die just because he was at the back of the line


[deleted]

That’s because it’s the basic model. If you want everybody to fit in there you need the deluxe version.


soulsteela

Oh you want the one with a locking door, yes that’s $300 a month a pod.


appl135auc3

The teacher is getting left out.


Guilty_Evidence7176

Probably would if there wasn’t room. How many teachers have sacrificed themselves to protect children during school shootings now? So, Bubba can have as many guns as he wants as fast as he wants?


Snowyjoe

And a wonderful way to give kids PTSD of cramped spaces at a young age. "Oh elevators remind you of school shootings? Too bad snowflake! Take the stairs!"


TheRareClaire

It’s sad that that’s exactly what some right winger would say. Spot on.


We-Want-The-Umph

My old man just would have said something like "We're skipping to advanced therapy today" and shoved me into the elevator.


Pb_ft

Mine would've just shoved me in and threatened a beating for possibly embarassing him in public. Double for my mom.


gozba

What if not all kids fit? “Kenny, you are poor and have low grades, you can stay outside…”


reddragon105

Oh my God, you killed Kenny!


gozba

I’m a bastard


jejcicodjntbyifid3

"we will keep an eye on you Kenny!...from inside the safety box"


decuyonombre

I sometimes will have up to 33 students per class


gozba

I know I make a joke, but this is beyond all normalities


4ny3ody

Even if they do fit... During an actual shooting there's panic going on. Small room, many people who are panicked? Sounds like a recipe for breathing issues, and potential violence within the boxes that are meant to provide safety.


spndl1

I'm sure there will be no ventilation or temperature issues cramming kids in that thing like sardines for an indeterminate amount of time.


ElvenJustice

Plus the cops will just wait out in the hallway while the killer gets a torch from shop class and cits it open.


calamity_unbound

Look at this guy, going to a school that still has *shop class*.


Yeeemz

The first 3 or 4 kids to make it inside will panic and lock their classmates out. Imagine having to live with that for the rest of your life


Automatic_Ad_1499

Or, they will never even be able to get the door shut from the stampede of kids all trying to fit in


catiedont

You're joking but disabled kids will absolutely get left outside.


ArcadiaFey

Imagine if one of the students needs a wheelchair. Are some of the other kids picking them up and carrying them in? The door might be wide enough, but is it realistically maneuverable in there? Will it take too much space?


Okayest_Employee

First come, first served? I guess track team will fill up real fast this semester. Or maybe a study motivator. Highest GPA gets seats closest to the box. (seriously, I just want to rage quit this fucking world)


throwaway55221100

Kenny you are poor and have low grades. You are destined for a career in the military anyway. This will be good experience


WatchingUShlick

Teachers all around the country are spending their own money from their infuriatingly tiny salaries to buy their classroom's school supplies, but apparently we can we can afford to put bullet proof child coffins in every classroom. America. Fuck yeah.


DrProv

Better yet, the class is designed for, let’s say, 28 kids, and the shelter, let’s say, is the same, and the class has 34.


Chadmartigan

Teachers don't have enough responsibilities, so let's give them a Sophie's Choice to worry about.


BelgiansAreWeirdAF

6 lowest grades have to wait outside the container


rubmustardonmydick

This kind of looks like the school portables lol


ButtonholePhotophile

Looks like encouragement for shooters to also be arsonists.


Telephalsion

Oh God, someone's will be tossing a bucket of homemade napalm over one and Dutch ovening people won't they?


When-happen

Oh dear oh god


Virtual-Librarian-32

Or they can jimmy those vents open and kill everyone inside 😢


SmaggMuhNutz

cool now children can chill inside a metal coffin just like the ODST’s


TaintedSqurl

Prepare to drop


Pb_ft

Out of class.


Awokein

been there, done that.


marshall_bates

Standby for Titanfall


__Precursor__

Protocol 3: Protect the Student


JBNYINK

My man’s


RapidArsenal

Feet first into hell


totalmoonbrain

I swear to god, Halo fans can cram a reference into ANYTHING


EpicFishFingers

You know our motto: we deliver!


fez229

If For Any Reason, You’re Not Satisfied, I Hate You


jrdnmdhl

Unless, of course, war were declared…


NebraskaGeek

What's that alarm mean?!


OnlyVans98

War were declared.


NebraskaGeek

Do I still get my military discount on gum?


ShylokVakarian

The fuck is this?


[deleted]

It's a bullet proof box for school kids to run into before they get slaughtered in a school shooting. Truly horrible


[deleted]

Can it at least double as an emergency weather shelter???


[deleted]

It could double as a cloak room lmao but we all know what it really is


Walmart_Warrior_420

It doubles as a sign of American freedom ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


NeverBeenOnMaury

Yeah put an American flag flapping in the wind with a eagle tearing ass across the sky on that bad boy so they know the box they go in to to not die at school is about freedom.


Jealous_Answer_5091

Ah, yeah, land of freedom, where you're not free to have refreshing bottle of beer on your way walking back home.


[deleted]

Lol I was always stunned by this. Land of the free where you can't drink a beer in public without being arrested like you're in Saudi Arabia or something.


Knight-Creep

Well, you’re free to drink it, but it has to be in a brown bag. Which makes it even more obvious you’re drinking beer.


Frankferts_Fiddies

That’s not true. That used to be the law federally, but currently, in most states, that’s still an open container misdemeanor.


Knight-Creep

TIL


virkl

As a kid watching American movies, I was always so confused why people were shoving their alcohol in brown bags and drinking it exclusively that way when outside. I figured it was because they were just embarrassed lol


purplepeopleprobe

It was today when I learned that embarrassment was not the reason


Wrong-Paramedic7489

Small town here where I’m at in Florida allows you to take drinks to go! Free to shop and bar hop with a cold one. But I agree with the sentiment in this conversation. We are far from “free”.


Knight-Creep

Just look at everything the Supreme Court is trying to push through. Give us a few years, we’ll be known as the land of oppression.


leshagboi

Also land of the free that has a law against "loitering". Amazes me who believes in that crap. You are more free here in Brazil than the US that has BS laws for these things


zorbacles

And nothing exemplifies freedom like being locked in a metal box


No_Airport_5158

*and the laaaand of the freeee* •metal door slams shut •lever screeches •darkness


Heavydumper69

*gunshots echo* and the home of the braaaaaveeeee


arejay007

Paint a big ass flag on it and call it a freedom box. It will sell itself.


mmitchell57

It’s an oubliette!!!


BadCamo

Waitin to get a kid on my class list named Oubliette some day.


TRUCKBOB

Well what is it really?


nobollocks22

An NRA sponsored box.


Axolotis

I believe they call it a “Freedom Pod”


cheekybandit0

2nd amendment expansion DLC


Stiffa_Basirio

Kissing booth


TRUCKBOB

LMAO it could become a kissing booth of sorts couldn't it. More like some type of weird sex dungeon right on the wall of an elementary school classroom. Never thought shit would get so weird in my lifetime


Dull_blade

Yep. They sell these all over in Oklahoma as tornado shelters for anyone that doesn’t want an underground one in their garage


geishabird

Well, cops gotta lean against something while they scroll thru their phones


Fragrant_Aide_887

And put hand sanitizer on


ScroochDown

Lean against? No, no, they'd have to be inside to lean against one of these.


MistahBoweh

The cops go far enough to shoo out the children so our boys in blue can hide in the safety box.


ScroochDown

Maybe they should put it on wheels and cut holes in the bottom, so they can scoot out Flintstones style if things get too hairy.


MistahBoweh

Starting to sound more like a Scooby-Doo bit.


Neat-Band-4358

Just imagine how much PTSD children get after being in one of these school shootings


BadkyDrawnBear

It's a safe room for cops to hide in while kids get shot up in their classrooms


gahidus

Couldn't they just put reinforced doors on the rooms themselves? Not that it solves the root of the problem, obviously, but couldn't they just put reinforced doors on classrooms if they're going to go to this much trouble?


Adam_J89

Many schools haven't even sprung for doors that you can lock from the inside, reinforced is obviously too expensive. Unless it's a grand show like these student cages where they can point at the obvious thing in the halls and say "we did something".


WhileNotLurking

Exactly. It’s like the TSA. For show only. Some school will install this. There will be a shooting. Two kids will go in and lock the door out of fear. The rest will die clawing at the door. Or the next shooter will also have the ability to make fire. And the kids will be rotisserie and we will talk about the need for better fire suppression systems that work during school shootings.


OneMagicBadger

Why fix a problem when you can sell a product that's the American way


reddragon105

Half the class still got slaughtered? Should have bought the Safety Pod+ with double capacity! Also available - Safety Pod Deluxe with armchairs, projector, popcorn and a selection of 77 minute action movies! Ride out your school shooting in style, with the gunfire outside creating an immersive movie-going experience.


Killa_Bit_DXV

Makes me think that they will add micro transactions to this. "Oh dear Timmy, your parents didn't pay their monthly subscription. You're not allowed to enter."


dragonclaw518

They already refuse to feed kids lunch if the parents can't pay. Same concept.


AmazingAnimeGirl

When I was a kid they deadass made my parents pay off "school lunch debt" or I couldn't graduate to high school like :/


dragonflygirl1961

Just like BMW! No fee, no seat.


Emergency-Demand-474

Can't wait to see a streaming service partner with them. Safety Pod+ with one month free of Netflix when you purchase before the end of summer.


Dichotomous_Druid

It’s not even funny how fucking real this is lol


ChinchillaMicroFarts

The desensitization is insane


[deleted]

Desensitization and the fact many people don’t care until it directly effects them. I watched [this timeline of the Parkland shooting](https://youtu.be/LMCc-lsvYDE) (MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING INCLUDES GUNSHOTS AND IMAGES OF BLOOD AND DEATH) and it fucked me up. But until a domestic terrorist directly effects most Americans and lawmakers, these monsters are going to run around senselessly killing groups of people


Pb_ft

Desensitization doesn't cover it. It's literally the American way to exacerbate a problem and profit off of the snake oil solution to it.


anonym0usee

Holy shit. What this guy said. That just blew my mind. No problem will ever be fixed if there is more money to be made not fixing said problem.


positivewatermorel

if anything these people will want the problem to worsen so they can make more money


gelvis_1

This is why the pharmaceutical industry are good at treating symptoms but terrible at finding causes or cures


the_hunter_087

And if someone does find a cure, pharma companies will pay for exclusive access then silently sweep them under the rug


andrude01

Give it time and soon they’ll be cutting corners to cut expenses during manufacturing. Increases profit margins, great for investors. Then it’s used in a shooting but the shooter is able to break into the safety pod and kill everyone. The school tries to sue the company but part of the purchase agreement includes mandatory forced arbitration where they settle for like $500


SummerNothingness

fucking hell. i'm literally speechless. but thank you for providing words but honestly what the fuck


vaughanbromfield

I assume they are for the Police to shelter in, so they should be blue.


Sumner1910

I imagine a group of TF 2 Soldiers stored inside


[deleted]

TF2 Soldier would kick their ass for being cowards.


Argoniek

IF FIGHTING IS SURE TO RESULT IN VICTORY, THEN YOU MUST FIGHT!


Sara5A

SUN TZU SAID THAT!


TheEasySqueezy

AND I BET HE KNOWS A LITTLE MORE ABOUT FIGHTING THAN YOU DO PAL!


Acrobatic_Page6799

BECAUSE HE INVENTED IT!


TheCLNR

And then he perfected it so no living man can best him in the ring of honor!


nachochips140807

Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth


CaptainOw765

And then he beat the **** out of every single one of them


Aether217

SCREAMING EAGLES


MylesTheFox99

Soldier would beat the shit out of the cops for being cowards.


viking78

Yes, but they have to take the children out first.


WrapVisible999

How about a cowardly yellow instead.


Psychological-Log595

Big question here is a lot of schools have problem with classrooms having too many students do they think 20 students and a teacher are going to fit in that shit? This is an accident waiting to happen.


Dylan_The_Developer

If everyone lays onto of each other than maybe you could fit 20 thin kids in there


Psychological-Log595

Human Sardines


[deleted]

You know that one idiot kid would open the door and everyone would be slaughtered like pigs in a slaughter shoot


mega_lonyx

I was that kid. I once unlocked and opened the front door to politely tell the police to go away during a gigantic house party. They did not go away. Had kids stuffing hate mail about me in my family mailbox for like 2 years cuz everyone got underage drinking tickets (except me of course because i was sober).


[deleted]

The future of America is absolutely terrifying


Whereisthefrontpage

TBF the present of America is absolutely terrifying, too


geniusboy91

As was the past. Nothing if not consistent.


Ajdee6

I felt like I had to talk to my kids about what they should do if a shooting happens. Hopefully they never have to experience it. I don't want them to react with their fears, but use their head and think, look for a way out, a place to hide, etc. Dont always listen to the teacher either. The teacher might tell you to get under the desk, but that wont be good if the shooter walks in, get out the window as soon as you hear a shot.


Apprehensive-Donkey7

Oh, so now it’s “how can we make make money through government contracts with taxpayer funds while our kids get shot at” FUCK YOU. I don’t care whether you’re on the left or right, this is bullshit and politicians suck


BlazingShadow007

TIMMY TO THE CHAMBER


Ainine9

Timeouts are now solitary confinement.


BlazingShadow007

Didn't do your work ?? STEVE GET THE GAS


Adventurous_Bad3190

lol


bradfly72

Stupid idea. Shooters would have knowledge of this and be able to gas them out in an enclosed space using the vents


UniqueReputation4863

That's what I was thinking too. Bring a lighter, burn few book near a vent and it's enough for the kids to die.


viking78

American schools don't have enough money for books.


DominoNo-

I'm sure there are more school supplies shooters can use to smoke out kids. Maybe the government could ban school supplies.


viking78

If school supplies can be used as weapons, good luck trying to ban them in the US.


rndmTyp

Whats this? Advanced Gaschamber? Greetings from Germany btw


TheOriX-LoL

Germany moment


Bozza1973

Message to America: it doesn’t have to be this way.


Commercial_Bend9203

So would they put these in every classroom or make a central hub for students to run to? Besides rehearsed protocol for an active shooter itd probably help to, say, have working doors that lock on school grounds as a first line of defense. 🙄 Seriously, the only schools that would install these are the much wealthier schools while the poor kids still have to use their lead lines book bags to hopefully deflect a bullet. What a sick, cruel joke.


Daveinbelfast

“Tired of cleaning up body parts, now have them pack themselves in these easy clean boxes, thats right no more looking for that other foot, no more scooping up entrails over your expensive desks and chairs, simply install one of these and everything is contained in this one simple easy clean box” Children sold separately


4Rive

Is this some American joke Im to European to understand ?


SilverVixen23

Apparently not. I just Googled it and they're real. They're ultra-durable safety pods that can withstand EF5 tornadoes (the strongest level) and are bulletproof against the most common weapons, specifically mentioning they can protect against AR-15s and AK-47s. The fun caveat is that so many American schools can barely afford to provide students/teachers/classrooms with basic supplies like pencils and tissues, so I'd love to know who's gonna pay to have 30+ of these solid metal boxes installed into every school.


4Rive

So it is mostly an American thing.


Life-Meal6635

Yes. Mass murder of children is our specialty now. It’s horrifying,


GruntBlender

Only thing that can stop a bad child with a gun is a good child with a gun. Arm all the kids.


JEbbes

Kinderguardians


FunkDaviau

I’d be concerned about logistics in active shooter incidents. How do you prevent this from being a gas chamber? If the people inside are immobilized how do you get in? If you can get in how do you prevent an active shooter from getting in? Can it withstand a home made bomb? Is it standing room only for a full classroom? Do you make it big enough for the typical class size? What happens when there are too many people to fit, how do you decide? Claustrophobics are f’d. How can you tell it’s safe to come out? that window’s viewing angle looks small. I hope there’s a light in there. Do they have to stop serving chili in the cafeteria? You know, in case the incident happens after lunch.


Wise-Application-144

In a horrible way, I wonder if it just becomes a challenge or even a trap? The problem with conflict is the other person will always work to adapt to your defences. They won't simply note your new defences and use an old strategy that clearly won't work. For example, if they see you're wearing a bulletproof vest they'll aim for your head. So if a school has these pods and the shooter knows it, I doubt the shooter will embark on a shooting spree they know won't work. They'll adapt and come up with an alternative plan. ​ Also as an aside, as a non-American I can say this is a uniquely twisted definition of "freedom", where people's freedom from being maimed and murdered is taken away, and the freedoms of murderers are prioritised and everyone else is forced to adapt. And there's a lopsided argument where there are major objections to gun owners being "controlled" by the government, yet it's fine to control schoolkids and members of the public with all these Orwellian security measures. ​ Gun control = anti-freedom Contolling people through armed checkpoints, metal detectors, shooter drills and locking them in tiny armoured prisons = freedom


VarenDerpsAround

What if they are just some creep you just don't want to be trapped in a metal box with?


FunkDaviau

“I’d rather be caught dead, than be stuck in a box with you” would hit very differently.


Green0996

Imagine if that one kid that never takes anything serious decided to dutch oven the safety pod in the middle of a shooting


malsemoritotfeixista

Oh, nice now the frustrated incel who wants shoot people and can't will just start a fire and all inside that trap will die. Perfect. 👏


Citadelvania

Yeah, it's really quite a death trap in a fire.


anonym0usee

Was thinking the same fucking thing..


catchinginsomnia

Yep, or the first time a shooter manages to open one and just mows down everyone inside... Basically fish a barrel.


Ashtreyyz

Well maybe the idea is that the kids stand a chance if the fire department has to be called instead of the police


Regis-bloodlust

I lived about 10 years in America, but it seems that I will never understand this country. But then again, tbf my home country has its own issues that I can never understand. So I guess we are all just fucked.


teedeeguantru

I was born in America, and I understand it less every day.


Black_RL

Brought to you by the freedom country!


meatsweet

Most schools can’t even afford updated text books, you think every classroom is gonna have one of these? Lol


Timely-Bug-8445

It's for the rich kids and the kids of police officers


fairy_babyy

yeah how many kids are gonna fit in there… when there’s 35-40 students are they just gonna get some of them in…and the rest get shot? Or do they push the brown kids out Most schools can’t even replace textbooks or buy pencils and paper.. I guess teacher is gonna have to lay off the avocado toast and budget until she can afford one of these babies with her skeletal salary


Any-Amphibian-1783

Kids? what are you on about? these shelters are for the brave US police.


Bingobangobongobilly

Metal coffins > lunch assistance programs


89LeBaron

I know there are thousands of high school kids reading this right now. Guys. This is UP TO YOU. These next two election cycles are going to be absolutely critical for the future of this country. When you’re 18, vote. And not just for the presidential election. Your local elections are actually the most important. Please and thanks, a dad of young kids