By - kevinito_
Schools run out of printer paper before the end of the year, but some nut jobs think these are a good idea? What the absolute fuck?
It’s crazy how true this is, before I became a teacher I had no idea that printer paper would be like rations in war… God forbid I need to print out extra coloring pages for 5 year olds…
I went to war for science department scantron sheets for the spring finals this year, gotta remember to disarm the landmines I left around over the summer.
Well you’re on a watchlist now.
UK teacher here, why is this? Our schools have overstock of paper all the time, I always unlock a room with pallets of printing paper whenever it's needed.
have you ever seen what some of these superintendents are paid? There was one here where I live that was being paid not only a $150k salary, but he also had a clothing allowance for both him AND his wife, and a $3000 car allowance PER MONTH, plus god knows how many other useless perks. I think there was a housing allowance thrown in for good measure also. I mean the taxpayer was basically footing every single bill in this guys house, and for his wife who didn't even work for the school district. He ended up leaving awhile later for a different school district, but I'm sure he fleeced that one as well.
Makes me wonder what they cost and who got paid for them
>who got paid for them
I'd wager some contractor who specializes in building prisons. A lotta schools are already designed by prison architects.
That explains the barbed wire on top of the fences surrounding my high school...
Shoving kids in a steel box so they don't get shot is surely the purest distillation of freedom imaginable
Until that one kid starts farting inside, and everybody has to breathe it.
Or just when they piss their pants out of fear...
Or when Trevor has a temper tantrum and locks himself inside because he doesn’t want to give his presentation in front of the class....
I’m assuming u can’t open from the outside?
Now, There’s definitely no room in the budget for teacher RAISES!
Teacher raises will be in the form of guns and ammo. I can already see the NRA lobbying for it
Like some fucked up metro 2033 currency. "you did well bob, heres 23 rounds of 5.56, and 4 rounds of armor piercing!"
The fact that this almost isn't satire hurts my soul
And the have to sit in it for hours while the cops stand outside staring at their phone and tackling parents.
But at least their hands were sanitized
Give them some slack, they were probably preparing by doing some practice shots at some cans before heading in...
One time there was a shooting near my school so we all went into a lockdown. One kid wouldn't stop farting so the teacher asked him if farting was worth dying for.
The kid should say id rather die than give up my god given right to fart
Speaking of: what’s the air supply on this thing?
Isn’t that a point of failure? Attacking air supply is just the next series of school massacres.
Exactly. That's why this isn't a solution. The right solution is obviously motion sensing automated defence turrets in every hallway.
The shooter could simply set fire to the room. The kids would be slowly broiled. And since the police won’t engage for at least an hour that’s a whole class of dead kids with zero survivors.
Look at the size of it. There’s no way you’d fit a full class worth of people in there. Some poor fuck is getting left out to die just because he was at the back of the line
That’s because it’s the basic model. If you want everybody to fit in there you need the deluxe version.
Oh you want the one with a locking door, yes that’s $300 a month a pod.
The teacher is getting left out.
Probably would if there wasn’t room. How many teachers have sacrificed themselves to protect children during school shootings now? So, Bubba can have as many guns as he wants as fast as he wants?
And a wonderful way to give kids PTSD of cramped spaces at a young age.
"Oh elevators remind you of school shootings? Too bad snowflake! Take the stairs!"
It’s sad that that’s exactly what some right winger would say. Spot on.
My old man just would have said something like "We're skipping to advanced therapy today" and shoved me into the elevator.
Mine would've just shoved me in and threatened a beating for possibly embarassing him in public.
Double for my mom.
What if not all kids fit? “Kenny, you are poor and have low grades, you can stay outside…”
Oh my God, you killed Kenny!
I’m a bastard
"we will keep an eye on you Kenny!...from inside the safety box"
I sometimes will have up to 33 students per class
I know I make a joke, but this is beyond all normalities
Even if they do fit... During an actual shooting there's panic going on. Small room, many people who are panicked? Sounds like a recipe for breathing issues, and potential violence within the boxes that are meant to provide safety.
I'm sure there will be no ventilation or temperature issues cramming kids in that thing like sardines for an indeterminate amount of time.
Plus the cops will just wait out in the hallway while the killer gets a torch from shop class and cits it open.
Look at this guy, going to a school that still has *shop class*.
The first 3 or 4 kids to make it inside will panic and lock their classmates out. Imagine having to live with that for the rest of your life
Or, they will never even be able to get the door shut from the stampede of kids all trying to fit in
You're joking but disabled kids will absolutely get left outside.
Imagine if one of the students needs a wheelchair. Are some of the other kids picking them up and carrying them in? The door might be wide enough, but is it realistically maneuverable in there? Will it take too much space?
First come, first served? I guess track team will fill up real fast this semester.
Or maybe a study motivator. Highest GPA gets seats closest to the box.
(seriously, I just want to rage quit this fucking world)
Kenny you are poor and have low grades. You are destined for a career in the military anyway. This will be good experience
Teachers all around the country are spending their own money from their infuriatingly tiny salaries to buy their classroom's school supplies, but apparently we can we can afford to put bullet proof child coffins in every classroom. America. Fuck yeah.
Better yet, the class is designed for, let’s say, 28 kids, and the shelter, let’s say, is the same, and the class has 34.
Teachers don't have enough responsibilities, so let's give them a Sophie's Choice to worry about.
6 lowest grades have to wait outside the container
This kind of looks like the school portables lol
Looks like encouragement for shooters to also be arsonists.
Oh God, someone's will be tossing a bucket of homemade napalm over one and Dutch ovening people won't they?
Oh dear oh god
Or they can jimmy those vents open and kill everyone inside 😢
cool now children can chill inside a metal coffin just like the ODST’s
Prepare to drop
Out of class.
been there, done that.
Standby for Titanfall
Protocol 3: Protect the Student
Feet first into hell
I swear to god, Halo fans can cram a reference into ANYTHING
You know our motto: we deliver!
If For Any Reason, You’re Not Satisfied, I Hate You
Unless, of course, war were declared…
What's that alarm mean?!
War were declared.
Do I still get my military discount on gum?
The fuck is this?
It's a bullet proof box for school kids to run into before they get slaughtered in a school shooting. Truly horrible
Can it at least double as an emergency weather shelter???
It could double as a cloak room lmao but we all know what it really is
It doubles as a sign of American freedom ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yeah put an American flag flapping in the wind with a eagle tearing ass across the sky on that bad boy so they know the box they go in to to not die at school is about freedom.
Ah, yeah, land of freedom, where you're not free to have refreshing bottle of beer on your way walking back home.
Lol I was always stunned by this. Land of the free where you can't drink a beer in public without being arrested like you're in Saudi Arabia or something.
Well, you’re free to drink it, but it has to be in a brown bag. Which makes it even more obvious you’re drinking beer.
That’s not true. That used to be the law federally, but currently, in most states, that’s still an open container misdemeanor.
As a kid watching American movies, I was always so confused why people were shoving their alcohol in brown bags and drinking it exclusively that way when outside. I figured it was because they were just embarrassed lol
It was today when I learned that embarrassment was not the reason
Small town here where I’m at in Florida allows you to take drinks to go! Free to shop and bar hop with a cold one. But I agree with the sentiment in this conversation. We are far from “free”.
Just look at everything the Supreme Court is trying to push through. Give us a few years, we’ll be known as the land of oppression.
Also land of the free that has a law against "loitering". Amazes me who believes in that crap.
You are more free here in Brazil than the US that has BS laws for these things
And nothing exemplifies freedom like being locked in a metal box
*and the laaaand of the freeee*
•metal door slams shut
*gunshots echo* and the home of the braaaaaveeeee
Paint a big ass flag on it and call it a freedom box. It will sell itself.
It’s an oubliette!!!
Waitin to get a kid on my class list named Oubliette some day.
Well what is it really?
An NRA sponsored box.
I believe they call it a “Freedom Pod”
2nd amendment expansion DLC
LMAO it could become a kissing booth of sorts couldn't it. More like some type of weird sex dungeon right on the wall of an elementary school classroom. Never thought shit would get so weird in my lifetime
Yep. They sell these all over in Oklahoma as tornado shelters for anyone that doesn’t want an underground one in their garage
Well, cops gotta lean against something while they scroll thru their phones
And put hand sanitizer on
Lean against? No, no, they'd have to be inside to lean against one of these.
The cops go far enough to shoo out the children so our boys in blue can hide in the safety box.
Maybe they should put it on wheels and cut holes in the bottom, so they can scoot out Flintstones style if things get too hairy.
Starting to sound more like a Scooby-Doo bit.
Just imagine how much PTSD children get after being in one of these school shootings
It's a safe room for cops to hide in while kids get shot up in their classrooms
Couldn't they just put reinforced doors on the rooms themselves?
Not that it solves the root of the problem, obviously, but couldn't they just put reinforced doors on classrooms if they're going to go to this much trouble?
Many schools haven't even sprung for doors that you can lock from the inside, reinforced is obviously too expensive.
Unless it's a grand show like these student cages where they can point at the obvious thing in the halls and say "we did something".
Exactly. It’s like the TSA. For show only.
Some school will install this. There will be a shooting. Two kids will go in and lock the door out of fear. The rest will die clawing at the door.
Or the next shooter will also have the ability to make fire. And the kids will be rotisserie and we will talk about the need for better fire suppression systems that work during school shootings.
Why fix a problem when you can sell a product that's the American way
Half the class still got slaughtered? Should have bought the Safety Pod+ with double capacity!
Also available - Safety Pod Deluxe with armchairs, projector, popcorn and a selection of 77 minute action movies! Ride out your school shooting in style, with the gunfire outside creating an immersive movie-going experience.
Makes me think that they will add micro transactions to this. "Oh dear Timmy, your parents didn't pay their monthly subscription. You're not allowed to enter."
They already refuse to feed kids lunch if the parents can't pay. Same concept.
When I was a kid they deadass made my parents pay off "school lunch debt" or I couldn't graduate to high school like :/
Just like BMW! No fee, no seat.
Can't wait to see a streaming service partner with them.
Safety Pod+ with one month free of Netflix when you purchase before the end of summer.
It’s not even funny how fucking real this is lol
The desensitization is insane
Desensitization and the fact many people don’t care until it directly effects them. I watched [this timeline of the Parkland shooting](https://youtu.be/LMCc-lsvYDE) (MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING INCLUDES GUNSHOTS AND IMAGES OF BLOOD AND DEATH) and it fucked me up. But until a domestic terrorist directly effects most Americans and lawmakers, these monsters are going to run around senselessly killing groups of people
Desensitization doesn't cover it. It's literally the American way to exacerbate a problem and profit off of the snake oil solution to it.
Holy shit. What this guy said. That just blew my mind. No problem will ever be fixed if there is more money to be made not fixing said problem.
if anything these people will want the problem to worsen so they can make more money
This is why the pharmaceutical industry are good at treating symptoms but terrible at finding causes or cures
And if someone does find a cure, pharma companies will pay for exclusive access then silently sweep them under the rug
Give it time and soon they’ll be cutting corners to cut expenses during manufacturing. Increases profit margins, great for investors. Then it’s used in a shooting but the shooter is able to break into the safety pod and kill everyone. The school tries to sue the company but part of the purchase agreement includes mandatory forced arbitration where they settle for like $500
fucking hell. i'm literally speechless. but thank you for providing words but honestly what the fuck
I assume they are for the Police to shelter in, so they should be blue.
I imagine a group of TF 2 Soldiers stored inside
TF2 Soldier would kick their ass for being cowards.
IF FIGHTING IS SURE TO RESULT IN VICTORY, THEN YOU MUST FIGHT!
SUN TZU SAID THAT!
AND I BET HE KNOWS A LITTLE MORE ABOUT FIGHTING THAN YOU DO PAL!
BECAUSE HE INVENTED IT!
And then he perfected it so no living man can best him in the ring of honor!
Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth
And then he beat the **** out of every single one of them
Soldier would beat the shit out of the cops for being cowards.
Yes, but they have to take the children out first.
How about a cowardly yellow instead.
Big question here is a lot of schools have problem with classrooms having too many students do they think 20 students and a teacher are going to fit in that shit? This is an accident waiting to happen.
If everyone lays onto of each other than maybe you could fit 20 thin kids in there
You know that one idiot kid would open the door and everyone would be slaughtered like pigs in a slaughter shoot
I was that kid. I once unlocked and opened the front door to politely tell the police to go away during a gigantic house party. They did not go away.
Had kids stuffing hate mail about me in my family mailbox for like 2 years cuz everyone got underage drinking tickets (except me of course because i was sober).
The future of America is absolutely terrifying
TBF the present of America is absolutely terrifying, too
As was the past. Nothing if not consistent.
I felt like I had to talk to my kids about what they should do if a shooting happens. Hopefully they never have to experience it. I don't want them to react with their fears, but use their head and think, look for a way out, a place to hide, etc.
Dont always listen to the teacher either. The teacher might tell you to get under the desk, but that wont be good if the shooter walks in, get out the window as soon as you hear a shot.
Oh, so now it’s “how can we make make money through government contracts with taxpayer funds while our kids get shot at”
FUCK YOU. I don’t care whether you’re on the left or right, this is bullshit and politicians suck
TIMMY TO THE CHAMBER
Timeouts are now solitary confinement.
Didn't do your work ?? STEVE GET THE GAS
Stupid idea. Shooters would have knowledge of this and be able to gas them out in an enclosed space using the vents
That's what I was thinking too. Bring a lighter, burn few book near a vent and it's enough for the kids to die.
American schools don't have enough money for books.
I'm sure there are more school supplies shooters can use to smoke out kids. Maybe the government could ban school supplies.
If school supplies can be used as weapons, good luck trying to ban them in the US.
Whats this? Advanced Gaschamber? Greetings from Germany btw
Message to America: it doesn’t have to be this way.
So would they put these in every classroom or make a central hub for students to run to? Besides rehearsed protocol for an active shooter itd probably help to, say, have working doors that lock on school grounds as a first line of defense. 🙄
Seriously, the only schools that would install these are the much wealthier schools while the poor kids still have to use their lead lines book bags to hopefully deflect a bullet.
What a sick, cruel joke.
“Tired of cleaning up body parts, now have them pack themselves in these easy clean boxes, thats right no more looking for that other foot, no more scooping up entrails over your expensive desks and chairs, simply install one of these and everything is contained in this one simple easy clean box”
Children sold separately
Is this some American joke Im to European to understand ?
Apparently not. I just Googled it and they're real. They're ultra-durable safety pods that can withstand EF5 tornadoes (the strongest level) and are bulletproof against the most common weapons, specifically mentioning they can protect against AR-15s and AK-47s.
The fun caveat is that so many American schools can barely afford to provide students/teachers/classrooms with basic supplies like pencils and tissues, so I'd love to know who's gonna pay to have 30+ of these solid metal boxes installed into every school.
So it is mostly an American thing.
Yes. Mass murder of children is our specialty now. It’s horrifying,
Only thing that can stop a bad child with a gun is a good child with a gun. Arm all the kids.
I’d be concerned about logistics in active shooter incidents. How do you prevent this from being a gas chamber? If the people inside are immobilized how do you get in? If you can get in how do you prevent an active shooter from getting in? Can it withstand a home made bomb? Is it standing room only for a full classroom? Do you make it big enough for the typical class size? What happens when there are too many people to fit, how do you decide? Claustrophobics are f’d. How can you tell it’s safe to come out? that window’s viewing angle looks small. I hope there’s a light in there. Do they have to stop serving chili in the cafeteria? You know, in case the incident happens after lunch.
In a horrible way, I wonder if it just becomes a challenge or even a trap?
The problem with conflict is the other person will always work to adapt to your defences. They won't simply note your new defences and use an old strategy that clearly won't work.
For example, if they see you're wearing a bulletproof vest they'll aim for your head.
So if a school has these pods and the shooter knows it, I doubt the shooter will embark on a shooting spree they know won't work. They'll adapt and come up with an alternative plan.
Also as an aside, as a non-American I can say this is a uniquely twisted definition of "freedom", where people's freedom from being maimed and murdered is taken away, and the freedoms of murderers are prioritised and everyone else is forced to adapt.
And there's a lopsided argument where there are major objections to gun owners being "controlled" by the government, yet it's fine to control schoolkids and members of the public with all these Orwellian security measures.
Gun control = anti-freedom
Contolling people through armed checkpoints, metal detectors, shooter drills and locking them in tiny armoured prisons = freedom
What if they are just some creep you just don't want to be trapped in a metal box with?
“I’d rather be caught dead, than be stuck in a box with you” would hit very differently.
Imagine if that one kid that never takes anything serious decided to dutch oven the safety pod in the middle of a shooting
Oh, nice now the frustrated incel who wants shoot people and can't will just start a fire and all inside that trap will die. Perfect. 👏
Yeah, it's really quite a death trap in a fire.
Was thinking the same fucking thing..
Yep, or the first time a shooter manages to open one and just mows down everyone inside... Basically fish a barrel.
Well maybe the idea is that the kids stand a chance if the fire department has to be called instead of the police
I lived about 10 years in America, but it seems that I will never understand this country. But then again, tbf my home country has its own issues that I can never understand. So I guess we are all just fucked.
I was born in America, and I understand it less every day.
Brought to you by the freedom country!
Most schools can’t even afford updated text books, you think every classroom is gonna have one of these? Lol
It's for the rich kids and the kids of police officers
yeah how many kids are gonna fit in there… when there’s 35-40 students are they just gonna get some of them in…and the rest get shot? Or do they push the brown kids out
Most schools can’t even replace textbooks or buy pencils and paper.. I guess teacher is gonna have to lay off the avocado toast and budget until she can afford one of these babies with her skeletal salary
Kids? what are you on about? these shelters are for the brave US police.
Metal coffins > lunch assistance programs
I know there are thousands of high school kids reading this right now.
Guys. This is UP TO YOU. These next two election cycles are going to be absolutely critical for the future of this country. When you’re 18, vote. And not just for the presidential election. Your local elections are actually the most important.
Please and thanks,
a dad of young kids