T O P
RebaKitten

Let’s all agree she rode her bicycle to the Piggly Wiggly and bought apples.


Fourdogsaretoomany

And the roast beef for the third piggie.


Z3400

The third piggie already had roast beef, the fourth piggy had none.


Fadelox

Ya see YOURE WRONG OP!! 🥺


Stompytown1982

5th little piggy: "Screw you guys I'm going home."


WolverineAdept5073

I disagree she definitely rode a cockhorse to Banbury cross


Most_Past

Ok, now share the dark secret behind the one who had roast beef.


Shimerald

Hmmmm... Maybe it's that hungry pigs will eat anything if it/they get stuck in their pen for too long and it doesn't move?


nullfais

You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".


-PM_ME_UR_SECRETS-

You sure know a lot about pigs eating bodies…


[deleted]

It used to be pretty common knowledge that pigs in a group will eat anything in their pen. There's a scene in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy falls down in the pigs pen and everyone freaks out, well it wasn't because she was a fragile flower, it's because the pigs could and would maul and/or eat her.


Cpl2171

Grew up on a farm with pigs. They will bite just out of curiosity. Hurts like hell. Edit: we would put things in the pens for them to play with so they wouldn’t get too bored. Even though their ultimate destination was a dinner plate we treated them with kindness.


Flashy_Anything927

Me too. But sheep will suck your finger. Super soft. And no, I did not.


VikingOPPP

How can you tell where all reddit's mind goes and simultaneously shatter fragile expectations of the hallmark of a redditor?


shunkamunka

>And no, I did not. lol


NDRWGN42

You sure?


purplegreenredblue

Subscribe


HughMangusDickinson

Only sheep fans .com


buttfunfor_everyone

You did not… suck the pig’s finger right back? My, your self control is impeccable!


toenail_smegma

But you thought about it


Top_Tomatillo_7220

🤣


Remote-Acadia4721

I think you did.


CalamitousCakeDoll

Not having hands must be super inconvenient. Goats do the same thing, they grab and manipulate objects with their mouth, leading to the rumor they can eat all manner of trash.


ViciousLittleRedhead

I have a great-aunt who raises goats. She had an old nanny goat who liked to hold people's hands in her mouth because she would see my great aunt holding hands with her grandkids walking thru her yard. Endearing and also gross.


ContemplatingFolly

Perfect story-in-one paragraph. My cat loves to test exactly how chewy my hand is. She never really bites but loves to test.


shotsallover

Had a goat. They *will* eat nearly anything.


NDRWGN42

Well fed pigs don't eat anything and everything. In the Wizard of Oz they saved Dorothy from being trampled in the mud. Starved pigs are the scary ones. I'm a pig farmer. My pigs are as friendly as puppies because they are well fed. I keep a few as pets for my children to play with and run around.


shunkamunka

>I keep a few as pets for my children to play with and run around. How do you decide which become pets and which become food?


DinoMight_ArmSumo

Their cuteness


Soigus

When you think about it, that kind of abbreviates the entire history of mankind's relationship with animals


DinoMight_ArmSumo

Yeah. “Ooga booga animal cute!” “Animal friend!” “Animal not cute?” “Animal foooood!” Unga huunga animal scary.” “Animal enemy!”


Wonderful-Ad5417

Oh that explains the end of Hanibal. He was walking in a pig pen and i was like "what's the big deal?" 20 years mystery finally resolved


ReachingHigher85

Didn’t that movie go kind of far out of the way to explain that the pigs were bred for aggression and trained to eat people? The NBC series sure did.


ThatCrazyTheatreKid

Yeah, reminds me of that one Criminal Minds episode. Scared the shit out of me for a while


Top_Tomatillo_7220

Came here to say this.. Anytime I see pigs in a pen I think of that episode.


EAsucks4324

Movie recommendation: Snatch (2000)


mikey0hn0

You like dags?


libmrduckz

The man asked if you like dogs, Tommy…


not_gonna_lurk

Oh, dogs


PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES

Yea, dags.


Thatsidechara_ter

Sneaky fuckin Russian


IamMintLeaf

Must watch the prequel lock, stock and two smoking barrels first


1111112211111

Sure....”Snatch”.


MCS117

What’s wrong wit dis caravan


MechGearRex

He also like dags,


kaydeetee86

Always have a plan.


CrysG23

Lol! Why is this giving me life right now?


Castle-dev

Unexpected snatch


Aubergine_Man1987

Feed 'im to the pigs Errol


ianrc1996

Yeah this story always creeps me out. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert\_Pickton


Jiggly_dong

Did that report seriously say he grounded up their bodies with the pork and sold it to the public? So yep, it was on this day, I swore off pork forevers...


Intelligent_Baby_871

To fatten them up


unnecessaryaussie83

In this dystopian universe pigs and cows have been at wars for centuries. Pigs eat the flesh of their enemies to fortify their resolution to eradicate the filthy bovines. Or he was just hungry 🤷‍♂️


Frosty_Term9911

I’m 40. You’ve just ruined it for me


Stieb_O

The truth is dangerous


Frozen_Let_Ice

only if you choose to avoid the reality


ReallySuperUnique

I prefer to think as I did at 5. He’s gone shopping.


FlashKissesDeath

But the question is did he go shopping for other piggy’s at the market? O.o


Crafty_Editor_4155

Fuck you! I thought the piggy just went out to grab some snacks for the homies.


Affectionate-Map2583

He went to get some more roast beef for the one who had none.


procrastimom

Maybe “had roast beef” is an ominous figure of speech, too.


ejb2112

Same. And I’m 56.


Fantastic-Van-Man

I'm 62.....damn, my childhood, lies, lies, LIES......,(intensely sobbing)


Vast-Classroom1967

Same, I'm 60 and didn't know that.


KenoGaming2006

Damn I'm 69


No-Reaction-8312

I’m 46 and always thought that pig was just running errands.


XXXtrogdorXX

Nice


Pschobbert

Same. You’re not alone. Trying to untangle the rest of this mess now in my addled thingamibob.


DrSueuss

The little piggy went to market, and the little piggy was delicious.....,(sucking barbecue sauce from my fingers)


Fantastic-Van-Man

Well, that's just uncouth. I suck it from my butlers fingers .


skillzflux

Nobody better lay a finger on my butlerfinger


Randomename65

Woke my wife up laughing at this.


School_House_Rock

I think I just woke the neighbors up laughing at this


loralailoralai

Well I’m glad I’m not the only one in their 50s who didn’t get it…


Miserable-Balance-16

Also 56. Also ruined. Dang.


DrJennaa

Why is Reddit ruining this for me ? Then why is only one piggy eating roast beef which is more expensive than pork ? So many questions now


MoreMoats

Same. Like I had happy imagery with a cute piggie hopping down the road with their little shopping basket and everything. Thanks for nothing OP.


SapientRaccoon

Because that's the illustration that accompanies it in old Mother Goose books, iirc.


Sptsjunkie

Oh one still is. Only it has the bacon from the little piggie in its bag. It’s a dark day in pig land.


CoolGurl20

I'm 23. Thank goodness I found out now than later. But it's still equally as traumatizing.


idleat1100

It’s because those fiendish children’s book illustrators would show us pictures of piggies going to market with like a purse and shopping cart. All lies man.


Bavisto

Oh god…


UncreativeName77

Right? The moment of realization just kicked in for me to. I’m going to feel a brief moment of remorse tomorrow am when frying up some bacon for breakfast


LilMissStormCloud

My daughter still doesn't realize the pig animal she loves so much and the pig that bacon comes from are the same. Either that or in her little 4 year old brain she has successfully ignored it. She does make some adults upset at the grocery store though.


FemaleDadClone

My brother preferred hog bacon growing up because they didn’t have to hurt the hog to get the bacon…


Excellent-Product-90

When my daughter was 4, she started crying out of the blue. When we asked her what was wrong, she said that she just really loved pigs… but that she really loved bacon too… ❤️


gbliquid

Oh…


GuairdeanBeatha

Don’t worry about the feeling of remorse, it’ll pass quickly. Probably about the time breakfast is ready.


BigTrouble781547

But only for a moment


slmplychaos

Also 40. Fuck this reality.


UnhelpfulLocal

Also 40….. wtf


Kangabolic

Also turning 40… wow


Crafty_Editor_4155

Wow I’m 40 too


Sweetwetnoses

40 and mindblown..


DenGirl12

43. Beat you all. 😉😉 And TIL… yikes!


Funny-Information159

48 and traumatized by this revelation.


froggmehard

Wow, I am only 41, but the piggy was news to me, too


yurrm0mm

35 in 10 days and I wish I was able to get to 40 before learning this.


kaydeetee86

35 for three more months. I will never be the same.


DrShagwell

Ever hear the original for “einie meanie minie moe”?


notagainstgeorge

Yes and apparently part of your family is trash too. *edit: I know that part of mine is at least.


procrastimom

It was always a tiger in our family.


Icy-Conclusion-3500

Technically I believe the original is not the one you’re thinking of, but just an older version than the current one.


GrimReader710

I feel dirty...


hbgwine

65. First thank you for destroying my day. Second, the rest of you stay off my lawn


arrjaay

35 here. Oh no. Oh no.


I_JustWork_Here

Woah. My life has been turned upside down.


Minimum_Ad_7684

Wait what?!


razorglue

What? Wait…


Dudeus-Maximus

54, and yeah, thanks for that.


Just-Like-My-Opinion

Wait... HE DIDN'T GO SHOPPING!? 😭 (Also 40)


oskyyo

Well what the hell is he *doing* at the market then?


Bakuritsu

54. Same 😲


EroSennin78

Why are we here? Just to suffer?


Hevysett

Holy fuck....... same


Adventurous_Flan_292

Hello fellow geezers.


TomatoOnToothpics

41. Same


lmarieschu

Wait what?!


Donnie_77

I like the first 44 years of my life not in the know better


Homopottamus

The first 44 were ignorant bliss...


Xx_endgamer_xX

I only needed ONE more year!!! But nooooooo


Idcr1Z1s

I’m 45 .. the extra year just hurts more


necfu

Plug me back in! Plug me back in!!!


ElevenMagpies

I choose to believe the piggy went shopping. That's what I am sticking to.


ConservativeSexparty

I'm right there with you. That little pig skipped down the road with a little basket to buy some snacks and enjoy the nice weather outside AND THEN WENT HOME HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE. FUCKING. END.


VoldemortHugs

At least the last little piggy escaped…right?


ThtPhatCat

That little piggy went weeeeewewe. All the way home. Before it was processed.


Puzzled-Barnacle-200

I always heard it as "this little piggy went weeeeweeeweee, all the way to {name}'s tum" followed by tickling their belly.


CloseEnough2Me

Brutality


CrayziusMaximus

*FINISH HIM!*


TorreyCool

r/vore_irl


trolley661

Whoa, glad I have nsfw filter on lol. I’m literally at work right now


kimmi-ann607

My 2 y/o niece LOVES "piggy market" and always wants me to do it. Thank you for the new idea. Her 13 y/o sister used to call it piggy market as well, and for the first 5 years of her life, we were under the same roof and spent so much time together. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "do piggy market, aunt kimmi! Do piggy market!!!" from both of them.


Uwish4trish

Holy Shit! I live in the agricultural part of Southern USA and I’ve never heard that version! But it makes sense since nursery rhymes are seemingly supposed to make children feel better about hard truths.


SuCkMyLiTtLe

that makes SO much more sense with the story line but at least one piggy gotta make it home bruh idc😭


TheLordDuncan

You wouldn't happen to be on r/absoluteunits, would you?


AbsolutelyUnlikely

lmao, as soon as I read 'processed', I was like wow... that one single post actually changed the words that some people use. Truly amazing.


Bionic69

One of ‘em had roast beef.


theworldizyourclam

Which is super fucked if you think about it. Also, this is what I thought he went to the market for. . .


LilMissStormCloud

Pigs are omnivores. Some with eat other animals that find their way into their pens. We lost a duck that way.


PlaidButtercup

Why? Roast beef is well beef. It was to fatten it up so it too could go to market.


hatecopter

One of em had none


Superstaridley

yeah... about that..


Direct_Arm_3911

Yup, it was the runt.


CortezDeLaNoche

*I stare at you....Anakaningly*


CPetersky

It's howling in terror! "Wee wee wee!" as it is being chased around with a butcher's knife!


CranberryNo805

I don’t care.. that little piggy is still shopping and having a grand ol time


Blahblah9845

Exactly. If the piggy didn't go shopping where did the roast beef come from?


Xenodad

Yup, and one of them is enjoying a roast beef - they’re all happy and attached to a foot.


it-never-ends-ever

Because the following line this little piggy stayed home implied they had a choice. The other ate roast beef so we had no reason to think they weren’t livin it up with shopping trips and staycations.


jfreak93

I agree. The text could easily be interpreted either way. While it’s original intent was almost certainly the more graphic of the two options, time and culture have softened it. The little piggy is shopping if we want it to be shopping.


Iamlounger

The market is a joke for adults that the child won't get. Fun for all the family.


Blast_Rusur

What kinda 1876 psychopath is laughing at that joke? Lol


Pyewhacket

I like the cut of your jib!


Altruistic_Hat7251

Its the biggest piggy who goes to the market. :(


kobayashi_maru_fail

The farmers raised five piglets to proper weight. One straight to market, one for salt pork, one eating the rotting beef (not sure if at market or home), one caged properly, one was sold but escaped and was silly enough to run back to the farmer to make sure there was enough salt pork the family thrived. That’s enough to celebrate for a family in that era and class.


DatabaseThis9637

Wait. now I cannot remember how it really went... This little piggy went to market, This little piggy stayed home, this little piggy ate roast beef, and this little piggy had none. This little piggy cried were weee wee all the way home?


doblitos

The rest of the song / rhyme / whatever doesn't make any damn sense so I don't think it means anything.


Skybeflappin

Big piggy goes to the market to sell. The one that stayed home fed the family. The roast beef was rotten meat thrown to the pig. The one that had none was raised further but not fed rotten meat so meat is good. Wewewe all the way home was sold but escaped and ran right back to the farmer.


doblitos

While the first recording of the rhyme is clear (1760), I haven't found a single credible source about the meaning. Everything re: meaning was determined FAR ex post--literally within the past decade and are from Buzzfeed clones--and there are no contemporary descriptions or analogues. I'm pretty sure it's fun nonsense rhyme to get children to learn their toes.


Fun_Ad_3817

What do you mean “learn their toes”? What is that rhyme supposed to teach about toes?


dogexistentialism

Looks like this guy never learned his toes.


Notyouraveragebull71

Wait… noooooooooo


AdBrilliant4002

Eh..d...doesn't it?!?


hunkysenpai

:(


AdBrilliant4002

Oh :' (


AeroBlack33

Ummm… it does. And the other piggy went to Arbys.


DesertParty

Omg


totallypooping

Fuck


H-Mora

Nope totally still means shopping I refuse to believe this


Minute-Object

Shopping is involved.


-Sugarholic-

I don't think it meant it was going to get slaughtered. The rhyme continues by saying the other piggy had some roast beef.. I think it was humanizing pigs as going out for groceries, eating roast, etc.. Even if you were looking at it from a pork farming perspective, what kind of pork gets fed roast beef??? Maybe some farmer would give them bones or some raw cheap cuts.. I know pigs eat anything but I doubt they would get such a fancy roasted meal.


MisterMannetje

Back in the day in my country they used to feed the pigs with herring. At the time the North Sea was still bursting with fish, so it was a cheap way to feed pigs on a mass scale. Only problem was that they raised the pigs on so much herring, that when you prepared bacon at home, your kitchen started to smell like fish. That's pretty fucked up, right?


CZFan666

yep it’s just reddit kids trying to be dark and sentimental at the same time, and dramatic about their lost innocence, as usual


Illustrious-Bet-6743

Gotta fatten the pig up before the slaughter. The one that stayed home is not yet mature enough and the one that had none is simply too small


nothuman-exe

what the fuck else does it mean ? ? ? ? ? ? ?


BlueEyedBeast31

They went to market....for sale. They were the product 😬


WiryFoxMan

I still did


mrs_robin_hoodie

Huh?!!!!


Cheap_Ad_69

...oh


LITEBRINGER4

Shit just realized it now.


the__badness

U just made me realize what it meant. Oh god


jljboucher

After reading Brothers Grim Fairy Tales, I expect nothing less.


Kekris_The_Betrayer

What the hell is "This little piggy went to market"?


MonzieMe

Little song/nursery rhyme to make kiddies laugh as the "little piggies" are their toes and you just hold each toe with your fingers and wiggle it a little as you sing what each piggy did and kiddies laugh their heads off 🤷‍♀️😁


Journo_Jimbo

……..TIL……..🫥


dholmestar

apparently that nursery rhyme lives rent free in twitter's collective hivemind head since this is tweeted out and goes viral once a month


McNovaZero

Are you trying to break a piece of my childhood, sir!? It did go shopping, it did! If one little piggy went home and another little piggy ate roast beef then another piggy can absolutely go shopping.


Baiserdelamort

You mean to tell me in didn’t go shopping? Where’d it go then? Where’d the damn piggy goooo? *Sobs uncontrollably


Old-Ticket8783

Wow I just realized how fucked up yet another kids song really is lol


RedditAlt5835

Wait… what?


crankenfranken

Of course it went shopping. The other little piggies also do a bunch of logical Richard Scarry shit like staying home and eating roast beef and going weeeee wee wee wee wee wee all the way home.


kyle28882

Well I’m 25 and fuck me sideways


FunnyForWrongReason

Why couldn’t you just let me live in blissful ignorance.


Weirtoe

Why would you do this? A few of us were still innocent and sheltered. Now look at your toes. You know why he went to market don't you? Look how thicc he is in comparison. Fuck dem toes.


butts888

My entire worldview just changed. Well, i still want bacon, so not THAT much.


MisterMannetje

"Oh no, how horrible! Such cruelty." _Continues to eat a plate full of bacon and eggs_


CottonCandy_Eyeballs

So I'm 50 and wondering how I made this far not ever realizing this. Also why don't parent ever clarify this at some point for their children? Like it could be a type of cultural ritual kind of thing. When Timmy turns 13 you let him know and afterwards he is considered a man.


OmnipresentRose

im not sure if the parents even know


MisterMannetje

Finally a **real** test of manhood! Forget those tribes were young boys get their hands covered in bullet ants for hours, causing excruciating pain. Or where they get scarred with razors all over their body to imitate the pattern of a crocodile's skin. Hah, I laugh! Pussies, all of them. No, the real test of manhood is learning the truth about the little piggy. The emotional pain it causes, the mental strength it takes to overcome this knowledge. Incredible!