T O P
265thRedditAccount

What was the monkey going to do with that kid? What’s your plan you fucking monkey?


TwentyTwoTwelve

Monkeys will gladly eat other monkey babies.


265thRedditAccount

I did 5 seconds of research on the internet. It says that some monkeys do eat other monkey babies, it’s more common that they kidnap them. Weird.


IYAOYAS-CVN74

They will also monkey nap a baby monkey from another mother that is lower in the pack and raise that baby as its own.


elcolerico

Does that mean the monkey thought "these humans are shit, I better snatch that kid out of this miserable life".


Stranger2Night

I don't think that's the case, it looks like the monkey rode in on something. Would be odd to find a monkey to find a monkey sized bike, ride it up to a child, and then kidnap. This seems like trained behavior.


patjeduhde

Imagine buying a monkey and then training it to kidnap children, on a fucking bike 😅 Couldnt be me.


wine-eye

I'm pretty sure some winged monkeys kidnapped a little girl and her dog, so anythings possible.


edooze

Yeah, but she was wearing those magic red shoes so it all worked out.


tadeuska

Training it to ride a bike to kidnap children!


WeissCold

This man officer... right here...


ArtoriasBeaIG

Holy shit I thought you were joking about it riding in on something, I completely missed that :L


Commander_Crypt

Gotta be. Like a network or something. Fucking weird. Edit: Ah the real answer is below. Monkey is being trained by a wire to the trainer, doesn't appreciate it (as one does being tugged and such on a wire), and likely grabs the child in misplaced aggression. Still pretty shitty of humans. But not as bad as human trafficking networks training monkeys to snatch kids (which in hindsight is pretty stupid).


Passionkisses

That was my thought! This monkey is trained to kidnap! Edit: I have actually found an article on what was actually happening. I posted it if anyone is interested!


smekaren

"I have the answer and I have placed it somewhere in this thread!" What are you, the easter bunny?


Mark_Freed

https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/4aygmb/the-truth-behind-those-videos-of-monkeys-riding-tiny-motorcycles


MrAdelphi03

Infuriating.. want to know how much it infuriates me, check my other posts ;)


theend2314

So basically the monkey was on a leash itself. Grabbed onto the kid for dear life and gets blamed for the kidnapping. Not so perfect crime.


OpOverlord01

yes


UniqueFailure

I mean people do that too.


bailuobo1

Postpartum is some shit.


[deleted]

EH?


Childish_DanMarino

Does it say anything about them rolling up on a Kawasaki?


Parzival_Prime

Somebody asking the real question.


CasuallyAggressiive

I’m actually fkin crying 🤣🤣


ThrowingKittens

> I did 5 seconds of research on the internet. Reddit in a nutshell


povlov

So this is what evolution is all about. Our decline, and then apes.


wes4ever

Monkey drive bys


jankhankrie

Yeah but this monkey had a motorcycle. I suspect human trafficking.


BIGJFRIEDLI

Exactly where my mind went. That's a trained act


the2-2homerun

So it's even worse than. Why was everyone so fricken so to react?


goodolarchie

They were lulled by the music


[deleted]

My mom lived somewhere in Africa once man man many moons ago. And she told me that when night time came up in the village they lived in, the villagers did a headcount of the children and ran into the forests to get the children out. They were told this was done every day to make sure the children don't get kidnapped and killed by monkeys.


LivePossible

Somewhere in Africa… You really don’t know where? It’s a big continent.


[deleted]

I would not recall. It's also been a few years since I've been told.


heartbreakhostel

When is “man man many moons ago” ?


[deleted]

50+ years I believe.


GaMa-Binkie

The monkey is being dragged by its handler via a wire and grabs onto the kid because believe it or not, wild animals don’t like riding bicycles for our entertainment


No-Seaworthiness7013

I like how it tries to ride it's bike to freedom though.


thestowell

I see this now! Thank you for pointing it out!


koboldtsar

Now that I'm looking for it, it makes perfect sense. Thank you detective.


UniqueFailure

Howd you figure that out. I see it now


jchoneandonly

It is possible to train them in a way that they will enjoy it. People usually don't do that but still


JonadGG

Yea, by letting them be out in the wild instead


jchoneandonly

...... You obviously missed what I'm getting at. You can work with the animals in a way that they'll enjoy working with you and like you. Technically you could do this in the wild but honestly that's not usually worth it. Falconers do it all the time and it's part of why birds of prey are doing better Essentially, companion animals can have a symbiotic relationship with the person they're working with


Luke_Lawrence82

Call me old fashioned but I think you should steal your own kids.


da_grownup_kid

You really wondering that? The monkey came on a fucking motorcycle


SpiritualObjective78

Was that monkey on a bike


bjrharding

A monkey on a bike on a mission


Big_Brick_

Its Monkey business


SpiritualObjective78

Than they should stop acting all bananas


cbtbone

Yes. A motorized bicycle.


peraspera_ad_astra

Mob monkey got some juice. Kidnapping with style


Im_The_Goddamn_Dumbo

WTF I didn't even see the bike.


SpiritualObjective78

Only in wherever this is monkeys get trained to ride bikes and take kids


seeareuh

[“You just saw three monkeys go by on a motorcycle, didn’t you?” “Yes” “Good girl”](https://youtu.be/3i2cbhWhLSY)


[deleted]

[удалено]


strumpetlover

I was wondering the same thing too, their reaction time is so delayed and nobody here is talking about it


sherlockisdumbass

“Yeah i guess the monkey can steal my baby. He rode in with the bike really cool tho.”


Adrian_Alucard

Yeah, they took my baby, but I got a tiny bike instead, who lose?


CabbagesStrikeBack

I thought that too but in sudden intense moments some people really do just freeze, they probably did as it happened so suddenly. A


EMPIREVSREBLES

Because they are more concerned on why there was a monkey on a tiny motorcycle coming out of nowhere trying to kidnap a child... One is more rare than the other.


Val_Hallen

They need to be on the lookout for a Dr. Doofenshmirtz type villain in the area.


sc00bydoobyd00

MonkeyOnDaBike-inator


SpiritualObjective78

Because it is a monkey on a fucking bike kids get napped all the time how often do you see a money on a bike


KingNanoA

Have you seen the rest of this comment section? A monkey sliding in on a motorcycle to steal a baby just overloads the brain for a few good seconds.


Salmon-nigiri

A monkey on a motorcycle shot my entire family years ago. I’m only just now processing this.


LingrahRath

I guess it's a common thing if they have a lot of monkeys around. The topless guy was not worry because he knew the small monkey couldn't drag the kid far. Just my guess.


Naetius

Da fuck?!!


EchoPhi

Seriously, my brain shut down with the key phrase of "yeah, no, you saw right, monkey on tiny motorcycle tried to steal kid. This is not reality anymore, you died years ago"


demonlicious

i thought it was a cat


auctus10

Wait it's not a cat but a monkey?


Giant-Genitals

On a motorcycle


Amster2

tried to steal a kid


Egad86

This is not reality


HabitaHillBilly

You died years ago


[deleted]

[удалено]


RevAlBrown

Caught in a laaaandslide…


RevAlBrown

No escape from reality.


albert_1_stoner

This brings a whole new meaning to mr steal your girl


LessWeakness

Why would a monkey be riding a cat?


Lallo-the-Long

Fuck I thought it was a dog my first time through.


SacredSpirit1337

I mean the caption of the video is “Monkey gonna get ya”…


knightgreider

I want to get off this ride now please.


skibumsmith

GTA Thailand is lit af 🔥


Eusocial_Snowman

Nah. This is [that thing](https://youtu.be/cAuE800cM5k) where they tie a rope around the monkey's neck and have it ride around on a bike. Monkey's just grabbing onto whatever it can and the handler is pulling the monkey back. Monkeys are wiry little bastards, but they're not strong enough to just straight up drag a kid down the street.


kill-wolfhead

Not gonna lie, when I clicked on “that thing” I was kinda hoping I was going to go to a Bill Hader Stefon skit, ‘cause I read this entire reply in his voice.


BlueEyesWhiteSliver

Monkey is on a leash and is running away. It's reeled back in at the end which is why it's sliding across the ground.


HeadOrFace

Ah! Leash! I was really trying to understand that monkeys kid stealing physics. Still a lot questions left to answer.


GhostBeezer

Probably trained. Trafficking ring.


ArgumentSpecific1145

Are you for fucking real with this shit?


GhostBeezer

I mean, yes? Although that does not appear to be the case here after closer inspection.


ArgumentSpecific1145

I scrolled down and saw that. But... Training monkey to steal kids. What the fuck? Maybe it's better if Putin does nuke us.


SueZbell

Y'all are Putin vile vibes out and made me think of this so now I share the disquiet: Putin is taking children into Russia. Putin took Syrian (potentially of the 'women and children are property' ilk) mercenaries into Russia. There are rumors of rape in Ukraine. Where are the Ukraine women and children taken into Russia?


skim25

there was a reddit post of a ukrainian women who voiced out she was raped by russian patrols. Not sure if it's an authentic post but if it is then it'll add to the list of war crimes.


Astroisawalrus

GhostBeezer, since you're obviously an expert on using monkeys for human trafficking, could you provide one credible source that backs this up? Weirdly I can't find anything about it anywhere, and it's almost like it's some made up BS that's being spread by "experts" who investigate things by watching videos on reddit.


cbtbone

You are correct. It’s bullshit. It seems according to another comment below that the monkey was in fact being pulled back by its handler, and it grabbed on to the child as a reflex, or to try to resist maybe. Quote: “This is incorrect. The monkeys handler is pulling on its chain to have the monkey return to them. The monkey grabs the kid as a last resort. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en/article/4aygmb/the-truth-behind-those-videos-of-monkeys-riding-tiny-motorcycles”


twomilliondicks

its just common sense. why wouldn't you train monkeys to kidnap small children?


8764446

Where did he get the motorcycle tho?


GhostBeezer

Probably stolen. Or hell, a throwaway… that’s a small expense to the potential return.


[deleted]

Stolen from another monkey?


GhostBeezer

Very likely. Probably from just outside one of the local monkey bars.


bobokeen

Not seeing the proper answer high enough up in this thread - this is a video of topeng monyet, a busking "tradition" here in Indonesia where monkeys are trained to do tricks like ride toy motorcycles or walk on stilts, often while wearing the cut-off face of a doll (thus the name - "topeng" means mask, "monyet' is monkey.) It is creepy shit and somewhat widespread - the monkeys are poorly treated and traumatized, which is why it probably lashes out at the kid.


Pinkeyefarts

This is definitely how folktales about children being stolen away was started. I'm monkey-stiltskin, I've come for your firstborn


myacc488

Performing monkey went rogue and attacked a child. Monkeys are generally very majestic https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxKzgA0fNvxViFa0GlfR-FEN8iPbolOXuO


Archie-is-here

Totally r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR


IvanBeetinov

Ok, I know I’m on acid. But I thought I just saw a monkey ride up on a tiny motorcycle and drag a little girl away. Jesus take the wheel!


WallStCRE

It’s the acid man, that was a grown man stealing an old lady’s purse


IvanBeetinov

Thanks man. I gotta get off this shit.


epicmousestory

*Several hours later* u/IvanBeetinov: wait a moment, I've been had!


Velociraptor451

I’m sober and thought it’s a monkey. Edit:That IS A monekdy


MiniBoglin

I'm sober and thought it was a monkey, now you're telling me it's a MONEKDY?! I need a shrink


steveosek

Return to monekdy


njn8

I've been bong ripping a bit tonight, but I think I saw the same thing...


mxler

You did. I'm stone cold sober, and as square as they come w.r.t. drugs and alcohol, and I saw the same thing. Unless someone slipped something into my diet soda, that was a monkey on a little bike trying to kidnap a toddler.


senorglory

Worse, I thought it was a possessed cat at first. Is monk e.


SOwED

Dude Jesus had no clue how to drive a car!


rennerbeast

Happy tripping


ninjabatmanface

The monkey took the baby, but the baby didn't get all th e way tooken. Also, that monkey rode a tiny motorcycle. Monkeys be weird yo.


Echung97

If you're still tripping, remember to take a drink of water. And remember that the universe and you are one, that life is infinite love given to us by the universe, that you and everyone that ever lived is connected through the 4th dimension, and that love is infinite.


SuperMarv

Oh no...monkey has baby again... I love the lack of response from everyone...


Objective-Coyote4776

Good God even the kid just casually walked away instead of crying wth


wapf

Ah. I have avoided being snatched for one more day. Success


TorteTastey

You know this actually makes me think of this one town in India that has a monkey problem. They accidentally killed a monkey baby and the entire monkey population took it personally and killed every dog they could and when they ran out started going after young kids. Edit: found an [article](https://www.newsweek.com/group-monkeys-kill-over-250-dogs-revenge-indian-town-1660683) on it


jroddie4

The dog killed the monkey, not the villagers.


CalbertCorpse

“…has a monkey problem” is the funniest casual comment I’ve read on Reddit in weeks.


bwbright

And one of the most terrifying situations.


epicmousestory

Technically correct, but boy does it undersell it lol


SalemWitchWiles

Strangely enough that news article was anti monkey hysteria created hoping to incite the public against monkeys to justifiy killing them. The true story is there are pictures of a few monkeys that took puppies and went up on a roof and then the puppies starved and the picture is a monkey with a dead puppy and story went nuts from there. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/monkeys-kill-250-dogs-revenge/ Newsweek links to the actual article too, and it's full of confusing statements. It's really bad journalism, people trust Newsweek. They shouldn't have done this. But funny headlines are how they survive now.


LogicCure

People trust Newsweek? That shits like barely one rung above the National Enquirer.


HawkEgg

The crazy shit is, some people believe the National Enquirer.


masteryohoho

this was in Indonesia, this is a street performer called Topeng Monyet, or Monkey Mask, where the monkey is doing some dance or act using some property like hat, guitar, etc


theSeanage

Imagine if that happened in a mid sized town in the US with an animal targeting Karen’s fur babies. Pretty sure that’s a recipe for going extinct in that area.


groovygrasshoppa

Or or or... a mass Karen extinction event


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dogekaliber

You’d have to get a 12 gauge to every citizen. Monkeys are smarter than you know. Hell- this one is riding a mini bike


FurryTailedTreeRat

Americans see no flaws in this plan.


SomeStupidPerson

Literally how you get Planet of the Apes kicked off


drquiza

That's what the monkeys think.


xquixotic_logicx

Ok. Is everyone seeing the same thing? I almost swore I saw a monkey riding a little motorcycle, crashing it and trying to kidnap a child. There's no way that's what it was right?


Local_Specific3930

Unfortunately, this is a common thing happening in my country. We call it "Topeng Monyet". These monkeys are used as street performer and be forced to ride a bicycle, wear a mask, play an instruments and etc. Unsurprisingly, they do get hostile with people due to the abuse they have endured as seen as this video.


tikaf

The monkey is pulled by a string, this is animal abuse and I hate this repost


Tairafan

You saw right


solarsuitedbastard

The question I always ask myself when I see an outrageous video… Why was someone filming this??


ErvanMcFeely

I understand where you are coming from, but if I see a monkey on a bike, regardless of any other circumstance, I am filming that shit!


watersj4

They are also on a roof so it's not like they can really do much to help either


smallangrynerd

Those people seem a little too casual about a monkey stealing a toddler.


IOFIFO

"Hmmm a monkey is dragging my kid away. Must be Tuesday. Hey honey, don't forget to put the trash out tonight. Did I forget anything else? Oh right, baby."


MCE85

Its like the monkey is getting dragged back while holding on to the kid.


Local_Specific3930

That's because they do have a leash on its neck. These monkeys are "Street Performer" in Indonesia. Prolly went hostile out of retaliation.


cnjoyal

Exactly.


Passionkisses

Oh this is so sad. The actual truth is the monkey is being forced to perform, veered off track and as he's yanked back with a chain around his neck, he grabs the closest thing he can, the child! :( https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/4aygmb/the-truth-behind-those-videos-of-monkeys-riding-tiny-motorcycles


badaik2887

This is very sad indeed, why be making a monkey slave. I can feel those shrieks now. Edit: no small monkey, snatches a child and slides back like this, they are pulled. Edit2: Also Thank you for posting this.


elijahdotyea

Thank you. Poor monkey being exploited. It's evil humans here that are evil.


purpleduckduckgoose

A monkey just rode in on a mini motorbike and tried to steal a baby. Sure. Yeah, ok. What.


ThanksForTheRain

I think i remember reading the story behind this, the monkey was likely trained to kidnap children or steal items from people. It still botheres me how little the adults involved actually did. The one guy we do see get up just casually saunters over like it's no big deal


doihave2dothis

This is incorrect. The monkeys handler is pulling on its chain to have the monkey return to them. The monkey grabs the kid as a last resort. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en/article/4aygmb/the-truth-behind-those-videos-of-monkeys-riding-tiny-motorcycles


royerr9954

that explains how all of a sudden it looks like the monkey slides/drags the little girl


GhostBeezer

Thanks! Kind of obviously on some kind of tether when viewing it in this light. But why would you have a monkey on a leash, but also on a motorcycle?…


srroberts07

So it can’t do a wheelie sicker than yours.


mbnmac

To busk for money in the street


Captain_Moseby

> the monkey was likely trained to kidnap children or steal items from people. He left the bike behind and grabbed the kid. Leaving the bike behind seems like a high price to pay every time you steal something.


skynetempire

Kid organs sell for a high price on the black market. Can buy many tiny bikes with the earnings. Saw some documentary about kidnappings in other nations. Dark as fuck


Captain_Moseby

Not in this case [Monkey on small bike explained](https://www.vice.com/en/article/4aygmb/the-truth-behind-those-videos-of-monkeys-riding-tiny-motorcycles) >In the viral video, the monkey's handler is standing at the top of the screen in the opening seconds, and the monkey has a cord or a thin chain visibly tied around its neck. When the animal veers too close to the people who are sitting on the bench, the handler yanks the chain, and the monkey grabs whatever's closest—which happens to be a small child.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BitcoinBanker

Bullshit


crow07-

Gang wars


Practical-Juice9549

Parenting win right here. Nice job watching your kid being dragged down a stone path.


Windtickler

He's on a wire, he took his chance to escape using the tools of his oppression and the kid was just unlucky enough to be the first thing he tried to grab on to.


BakeMiserable2520

What In gods name am I seeing? How can a monkey afford to buy a motorcycle?


clearhandsoap1

Looks like the monkey was being pulled back to the street


Saiomi

The monkey is being pulled. It's just trained to hang on.


[deleted]

he had a fucking bike


Chay4707

This is why I eat monkeys bro


watersj4

Tf


Redditor2475

Oh this vid again. Cool


Correct_Tap_8509

Holy shit, look at the strength of this little monkey


Thelaxstar

They got a free motorcycle tho...


tommytimer1

Fuckin idiots just watching


SubduedRoddyPiper

Just a monkey doing monkey business. Can’t knock the hustle.


odel555q

Fuck that monkey.


TipLittle1367

He driving a bike 💀😂🤨


[deleted]

I fucking hate monkies.


WorldFattestPeknz

Grand theft auto: MONKEY


suibomelbuod

The way the guy wasn't even rushing to save the kid makes me think that this wasn't the first time a monkey on a motorcycle tried to kidnap randoms and is something of a common occurence in their neighbor every week


Xiazn

Hey guys. This is 'topeng monyet' (masked monkey), an entertainment form common in Indonesia. The monkeys are 'trained' (read: abused), and are cast as roadside performances for audience donation. https://youtu.be/_kjHKw6tQU0 This video documenting the 'training' process is in Indonesian, but I'll translate some stuff I caught. First and foremost, it is an illegal practice. it is not a 'cultural practice' nor is it accepted by the authorities. These monkeys are caught from the wild. In the beginning of their 'training', the monkeys are chained to a tiny link that will force them to stand so as to straighten their back. When the monkey starts getting tired, fidgeting and lying down on the chain, cold water is poured on them so they will stand and stiffen up again. In a longer version of this video, the 'handler' (read: abuser) is seen casting out the monkey on a chain leash. When the monkey gets too close to the children, I suspect he pulls on the chain, to which the monkey responds by grabbing whatever nearest—in this case the toddler—in an act of desperation. The shouting in the video, "Mas! Mas!" means "Mister! Mister!" Probably the filmer is alerting the nearby adult to help the toddler. You can search up 'topeng monyet' and see hundreds of 'funny' videos where they're doing parlour tricks by the road side, and a few documenting their abuse. It's a bootleg one-man-show circus, and it's sick.


Deijya

“If you don’t become doctor I’ll call the monkeys to take you.” -tiger mom


Most-Highlight-3462

Wtf did I just watch? Did a monkey just come up riding a mini motorcycle then try to abduct a baby? India be wildin ...


buzzzzx

Where would one obtain one of these motorcycle riding kidnapping monkeys?


Outrageous_Bad9929

That looked like a monkey trained by traffickers, but who is fucking recording this, unless...


pperson2

What the fk did I just watch


Yakitori-Sama

WHAT DID I JUST WATCH OMG


Western-Membership-6

This is 100% in Bali - you can hear the Gamelan music and the guy is yelling ‘Mas’ which means brother


Most-Cryptographer30

that monkey came in on a fuckn monkeycycle or some shit - then tried to steal a kid - i’m going full blown conspiracy and saying that monkey was trained by the you know who for you know what -


FoucaultLeon

If you look closely the monkey is pulled back and is just holding to the child to not get pulled back.


Egoisttt

We’re they pulling that poor monkey?!? What the fuck!


wes8000

Ya realize the monkey is being pulled by a string and is trying to hold the baby as it’s being dragged.


Qocklame

Its not the full Clip, there is like a streetguy who collects money with a monkey doing Tricks. This monkey is actually on a rope. The monkey on the bike grabs the kid and the guy is pulling the rope on the exact moment to himself... The end


RevanAvarice

Had a terrible experience with a monkey when I was a kid. I strayed too close to its enclosure and it grabbed at me. Hated the damn things ever since. That's including being aware that it was being captive and is in a world of shit itself. Still hate the fucking things. Adults laughed, kid me felt like I was fighting for my life against something that was my size but had adult strength. For all the jokes here, the reality of the clip is worse: That monkey is a performing animal, the handler lost control, monkey panicked and grabbed onto the nearest thing: the kid, and the monkey's motion back up the field isn't self-propelled, but the monkey being physically dragged at the neck by a leash. And yes, they beat the monkey afterwards with a mallet, why a tool, because the monkey can fight back if they did it with bare hands. Humanity is shit.


ginnadn7

Have a questions wtf is that monkey doing riding a bike more importantly were did he get the bike