T O P

Maybe maybe maybe

Maybe maybe maybe

' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '
' + '

Becvort

shake to avoid pre cum


Amasutera

Please...d-don't call it that


Sad-HootHoot

How about… tomato lube?


SomethingWithLegs

TIHI


contactlite

Pre period?


norudin

Thanks


contactlite

You’re welcome 🤸‍♀️


[deleted]

[удалено]


Acceptable_Pitch7243

Whale cum?


[deleted]

[удалено]


LostReplacement

Tomato santorum?


zissoubisoubisou

This is the way


JK_NC

Nice. Went deep into the political archives for that one.


Kblizzle195

A little Pre-ketchup never got anyone pregnant


bananabreadvictory

Tomato discharge.


Ta2whitey

You can't prove that with science


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

There is enough ketchup in pre-ketchup to impregnate


ZeroCharistmas

Yeah, but the other stuff can definitely pick up hitchhikers if you're not careful.


vulture_87

Old crusty ketchup dried on bottle lid is probably called Ketchup Smegma.


C-Nor

I shall hereafter forevermore use your phrase!


The-Prophet-Muhammad

Yeah, we all know tomato ejaculation is the good stuff.


MungTao

Tomato plasma.


BladeLigerV

How about pre-chup


HeyKidsImmaComputa

Pre-cup


teruma

It's too late. It has already entered the common vernacular.


lootedcorpse

I shake, then squirt the first bit in the sink as sacrifice to prevent this with ketchup and mustards


abzrocka

I do the first part too.


Western_Spirit_398

Yea gotta squirt one out for your homies.


Goldsmifff

Uh, you mean ketchup drink?


mdlphx92

Now that you mention it, ketchup water does look like bloody precum.


darkword

Hahahaha thanks for the laugh


shootwhatsmyname

You are so welcome


SOwED

Not OP but ok


IsThereCheese

$6.95


beansinmysuitcase

Is there cheese on it tho


ReflexImprov

That's $2 extra.


ApfelTapir

just $2 more for u/IsThereCheese on my hotdog? I'll take that deal!


Racist_rabbit69

Fancy restaurants be like


SirRumpleForeskin

How to say you live in New York without saying you live in NY.


yoyoloho

That feeling you get when the watery bits come out. Instabarf.


groceriesN1trip

Yes. Also why you must mix it right back in before serving. Quite the paradox


funny_gus

It’s just ketchup broth


Croninlol

Oh god the pre-cum, shake well to get rid of it


DouglasOdo

Original


SirRedditThe3rd

Literally happened to my daughter for dinner tonight. She was like “ewwww daddy! Ketchup water came out!” I personally find it gross as well.


rraattbbooyy

Store the bottle nozzle end down. The water pools at the top.


andelicious57

Just shake


Elibrius

I don’t understand how that’s so hard for people lol


Shadow-Raptor

Only once time in my life have I ever had a fuck up from shaking the bottle. I was a young lad.


sneaky-the-brave

Sometimes you forget haha


Elibrius

I suppose :p


Safe-Preparation

LITERALLY


Mozeeon

Lpt: trader joe's ketchup tastes like heinz and doesn't do ketchup water. I don't know how they've achieved this miracle of science, but it's an absolute game changer


angeldust421

The food i give my siblings when they ask


NickGerz1234

Yea I am going to need 5000 of these to even feel like I ate something.


kkkimchii

“Hey you want to come over for dinner tonight? I’m grilling up 35,000 micro-dogs.” “No. You don’t need to bring anything, unless you want to pick up a few thousand micro beers.”


Look_at_my_8_Balls

Your micro dog to micro beer ratio seems way off.


kkkimchii

Everyone brings a few thousand of them to mix and match. It’s fun, unless you end up with 50,000 micro Smirnoff Ices. Classic summertime micro pranks.


stokokopops

Isn't that called a micro brew?


Revolvyerom

This explains why there are so many micro-breweries.


MoreOfAnOvalJerk

If I was a vegan, this would be the only appropriate use of the term micro-aggression


roc_10009

MICRO HOTDOGS ARE A GOOD CHOICE WHEN YOU WANT TO EAT 2000 OF SOMETHING


behaaki

Unexpected Mitch


omniron

I expected it but probably cuz I’m old


frisbm3

And you are hungry.


ordaf

rice is good if you want 2000 of something.


SuppleFoxFluff

He halved the dough 9 times so he would be able to make approx 512


Teacherfromnorway

This is a dinner for /r/1200isplenty


CauldronPath423

This remind me of that MAD sketch with Smurf’s pizza. God that show’s something else.


ShockAndShaw

I get the focus on the ketchup juice, but are we really not going to talk about green onions on a hot dog?


Vaynnie

He used them because they're small enough to fit his comically small hotdog, obviously.


rctsolid

Are they called green onions in the us? We call them "spring onions" in Aus.


Alagane

They're called both here, green onions in the grocery store but you can find wild spring onions.


_full_metal

I’ve never called them green onions in the US, just Scallions. Speaking of which now I want some scallion pancakes.


aSharkNamedHummus

I grew up thinking that scallions were something completely different, but it turns out that [green onions are just a type of scallion](https://www.allrecipes.com/article/scallions-vs-green-onions/), specifically ones that were harvested before the onion bulb grew. Neat!


throwaway_0122

Also where exactly do scallions fit?


Here_To_keep_It_Real

In my butt technically, they arent that wide


YepImanEmokid

Different name for the same thing. Chives are different though


Ra-mbo

Forest onions in NL.


luv2gethigh

green onions in canada!


ASacOFluffyPups

I’m curious about this as well. I absolutely love green onions and will put them on anything they can be put on, but is this a common thing?


HertzDonut1001

Lots of people put onions on hot dogs and that's just the right size.


SirRumpleForeskin

Yeah he could have been a chad and cut down a regular onion to a stupid size.


biznatch11

I put green onions on my hotdog is that not allowed?


ShockAndShaw

In the US, I'd say it's pretty uncommon. Never even heard of it before today.


HertzDonut1001

It's incredibly common to put white onions on hot dogs though. They're both onions so in a pinch a green onion would do just fine.


biznatch11

One day I was just looking in my fridge for hotdog topping ideas and saw the green onions and figured sure why not. It worked out and have been doing it since.


Keith_Creeper

Ketchup doesn’t belong on a hotdog either.


TheMissingLettr

That's just heresy, Keith


graphitesun

It's not hearsay. I know lots of people who say that.


dfinch

Hey if a bunch of people are saying it then it must be true.


Baelzebubba

[Dirty Harry spitting the truths!](https://youtu.be/ZpZ_fakwSwc)


SkellyboneZ

It's very strange when people gatekeep toppings.


coltinator5000

Oh are we gatekeeping gatekeepers now, buddy? ^^^^^(:


graphitesun

But who will keep the keepers?


CapybaraSteve

i disagree because i will do anything to mask the taste of a hotdog lmao


OneinEtherness

then why eat it


Ve111a

Little biiits


nanana789

Had to scroll too far to find this.


AIresponsible

"What's this? A hotdog for ants?"


LukeRenoe

It needs to be at least….three times bigger than this!


Kretios

'*ant angry noise*'


Baelzebubba

/r/thingsforants


phaelox

r/ThingsForAnts


Dowdrucker

Hilariously well done.


midwestblessed

The ending totally caught me off guard and cracked me up big time.


sergeantdeku

“You won’t last 5 minutes playing this game”


prana_mon

Sploosh


huntertoby587

I hate ketchup pee


Fotia_Kyrios

I thought they were gonna fuckin Kamehameha that thing into oblivion with ketchup.


KibbloMkII

I was expecting that too


loriffic

Starvation diet.


perckeydoo2

This is a cinematic masterpiece.


Blunder_Punch

Wait. There are actually people who don't put ketchup on a hotdog?


RandomDelirium

I don't like ketchup. I don't like mayonnaise. I don't like mustard. I exist


BigfootTouchedMe

What do you put on hot dogs?


RandomDelirium

My teeth


UnseenTardigrade

What about BBQ sauce?


RandomDelirium

Not enough experience with it to judge


upsidedownfunnel

It’s considered a cardinal sin in Chicago. It only seems to be acceptable on the West coast as most Eastern cities I’ve been to frown upon ketchup in hot dogs though none nearly as my hometown Chicago.


matthoback

> It’s considered a cardinal sin in Chicago. No city that puts an entire fucking tomato and relish the color of Ecto Cooler on a hot dog has any business turning their noses up on any condiment popular elsewhere.


SnooCapers9313

Don't go to Australia or New Zealand. Their Bunnings sausage sizzles usually have tomato sauce and/or mustard with onion


JoelCrafter43

I just don't put ketchup on anything because it's gross^((In my opinion).) except meat loaf it's great on meat loaf mainly because it's mixed with things like brown sugar. Also my grandpa laughed at me for putting mustard and relish on a burger once, like I don't care if it's "just for hot dogs" it's delicious.


FunnyGlove

Ketchup is tomato flavored syrup. Edit for you all downvoting facts Ketchup has more sugar in it than Mountain Dew. Ketchup 3.9 grams of sugar per ounce Mountain Dew is 3.8 grams of sugar per ounce.


Swarlos262

Guess I need to stop drinking cans of ketchup.


alpharius120

Lmao honestly. I'm drinking 12 ounces of mountain dew at a time. I doubt if I use that amount of ketchup over multiple months


graphitesun

There's less caffeine in ketchup than in a can of Mountain Dew, so it balances out.


alpharius120

Terrible argument. I'd love to watch you chug 12 ounces of ketchup


UnseenTardigrade

Mustard on burgers is very normal, relish less so, but it’s really not that weird. I mean, relish is pretty similar to pickles, and pickles are an extremely common hamburger ingredient. I personally like putting BBQ sauce + mustard + Mayo on my burgers. Yum. Good to dip fries in that mix too. About equal parts BBQ and Mayo, then just a little bit of mustard. Maybe a little more BBQ than Mayo, but close.


Snuggle_Fist

Holy shit, me too. Meatloaf is literally the only thing I can stand ketchup on. Ketchup is fucking trash on everything else. Bottom level condiment. Mustard is King!


Pretty_Eater

r/ketchuphate Join us.....join us.....join us......


NO_TOUCHING__lol

Cheap ass hotdog: ketchup, yellow mustard and dill relish, The American Way. Anything higher quality than Ball Park Franks: spicy brown mustard, grilled onions, and any other toppings du jour


kingrawer

Doesn't compliment the meat well like mustard does.


landragoran

Mustard is the only acceptable condiment for a hotdog.


itsashebitch

🙋 I only like mayo AMA


DeliriumSC

How many people have you murdered?


jabba_the_wut

All of them


Sunretea

More than the average.


PhantomAngel042

I put ketchup *and mayo* on my hot dogs, which freaks people right the hell out. Apparently the combo is perfectly acceptable on a burger, but not on a hot dog.


LaDonna80

I do this also but I add mustard and relish too 🤷🏻‍♀️


Blunder_Punch

I skip the relish but sometimes get a little freaky with some cheese on there


UnseenTardigrade

Have you seen Avengers: Endgame? It begins with some ketchup and Mayo hotdog shenanigans if I remember correctly. Actually no, I just checked and it’s mustard and Mayo, but similar concept, it’s the Mayo that weird people out.


PhantomAngel042

Yes, I've seen it, and I felt personally attacked. >:(


AncientInsults

Worked at a hot dog joint and asking for Mayo was cause for ironic punishment, ie you’re getting glopped with a LOT


shoeboxlid

I eat my hotdogs plain lol. Just a dog and a bun


ElegantElephant42

You monster


SkidmarkSteve

Do you ever smush the bun around the hotdog to make a pig-in-a-blanket sort of thing bc it's really only possible with the plain dog and it's really nice.


ug2011

[Ketchup on a hot dog? Nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog](https://youtu.be/UDi4hiiozeI)


Ok_Cook_6665

President Obama did that and people bitched for two years. Don't get them started on his choice of mustard.


DisastrousBoio

Dijon mustard is god tier. Being uptight about German peasant food like hot dogs are is just not worth anybody’s time.


JoelCrafter43

dijon mustard is some strong stuff but yeah it's pretty good.


yrntmysupervisor

Chicago was instantly offended


Sh4d0wM00N

Soon all airlines will serve this as lunch.


everyone_hates_lolo

pov he is a giant making a normal size hotdog and just has huge ingredients and utensils


WSBApe80

this was amazing! i laughed so hard at the end. we all know that feeling when you get the ketchup or mustard juice because you forgot to shake lol


Desert_Osprey

Everyone loves ketchup, but is repulsed by ketchup water.


TrickBoom414

Blech onions and mustard or death


typehyDro

Squeeze ketchup is the most poorly designed bottle. There is literally no way to avoid the initial giant splatter. Anyone else used the kewpie mayo bottle. That design is so solid


Unidentifiedasscheek

You literally shake it first.


typehyDro

Not talking about getting watery ketchup. When you squeeze it requires a certain pressure before it dispenses and when you finally get to that pressure youre exerting so much force that the initial squirt is always a gob Edit - talking about Heinz squeeze bottle https://images.app.goo.gl/GFrdoXDE7TWKtGa48


PippyLongSausage

ppppppppppppppppffffffffffffffffff!


analscreams

Better than beating the shit out of a glass bottle at the restaurant which spackles ketchup everywhere in sight and then you either get none or all of it out at once


Falconasse

Pretty sure that’s made on purpose so you pour more than necessary (especially with kids). I have nothing to back up this claim tho


[deleted]

Why is everyone hung up on him putting ketchup on a hotdog why can't people just laugh at the joke of the video?


SclifosNicolae

When your brother asks you to make him a hot dog


quietpro69

This gives my how to basic vibes


blueblossom17

This was perfect


No-Zucchini6370

Still bigger than my PP


Astronomian

That's what you get for trying to put ketchup on a hot dog


old_keyboard

r/thingsforants


Smatrickus

That’s what you get for putting ketchup on a hot dog


Unwoven_Sleeve

Everybody hates Ketchum pre-cum


xoiao656

I hate ketchup pre cum


Waldo_where_am_I

What is it about that tiny bit of water in ketchup or mustard that is so revolting? I mean it is revolting but why?


Addict3dtomot0

Boom tomato pre cum


Zenketski

Holy shit my dick twitched that was so beautiful


hedge1976

That finish though, lmao, take my insomnia upvote


LordFesquire

[“Nothing gets stuck in your teeth…”](https://youtu.be/Gj4-E5Hs3Kc)


AlisterSinclair2002

Omg the noise he just made lmao


TheRangaTan

SHAKE IT FIRST, YOU FUCKING TROGLODYTE!


PoorEdgarDerby

r/perfectlycutgags Edit: bless you Reddit, it’s real!


mick-nartin

Ketchup on a hot dog? Barf


Nerdyme1

Ketchup shouldn't go on hotdogs.


Purchase_Desperate

Istagram models diet be like:


removedx

Is this how to basic


DrMDMA-MD

NOT THE HEINZ PRECUM!!!


endospores

Syneresis, it's a problem until it's considered a feature.


that_white_splat

To avoid this you have to leave the bottle upside down in the fridge


Soft_Self_7266

That was 1000 times more funny than i expected 😂


eathefuckingsnow

Alright you fuck I watched the whole vid and even laughed


SaveTheKittiesforTit

Totally expected him to just drown it in ketchup


Fun-Communication467

Shake the ketchup before squeezing!


Fitboss803

![gif](giphy|sy6waaLitpIAg)


Vestaxowner

I was expecting a huge load of ketchup, but this was way way worse


sc0tty0

That's what ya get for trying to ruin it with ketchup.


FLORI_DUH

Ketchup instead of mustard on a hotdog? You get what you fucking deserve


LtPinkRebel

I'm sorry but who puts scallions on a hot dog??


HertzDonut1001

It's an onion, onions are like my favorite hot dog topping. Adds a nice crisp crunch, does very well if all you have is ketchup.


shawnhuntersbackpack

But are you going to epoxy it?