By - Duramboros
Outjerked to the max here
This whole set is now worth it just for this card.
I was planning to arrogantly stand my ground and not support this set at all because its terrible but man I need me that card.
Why is it terrible? Looks like fun to me
It's both the best card in the game and the worst card in the game. We can close Magic the Gathering now.
you did it, you gathered the magic
The gathering has been magical
Maybe the real magic was the friends we gathered along the way.
I disagree. I will play this card and then I will be the best and worst card in the game
That’s what I was thinking. This is some next level shit posting.
I swear to god
they just went to the jerk subreddits, took notes of the best and worst posts, then burnt and snorted them for maximum effect
What the fuck is this reality
>What the fuck is this reality
Fine, I'll do it myself
The only way it could be better is if it was a dreadmaw.
Dreadmaw is low hanging fruit. This card reverse engineered a tree that grows an entire Applebee's.
Why the fuck would you grow Applebee's.
Why would you turn yourself into Approach of the Second Sun? Same energy.
(I initially thought apple tree and then said "no, weirder.")
So they can print Approach of the Second Applebee’s of course.
it shouldnt even be a special card, should just be a collosal dreadmaw in the set, im kinda upset that it hasnt been in every set since tbh!
If they just print colossal dreadmaw with no changes as a common in this set I will be forced to buy an extra box.
Honestly they should print a top down cycle that's just colossal dreadmaw but scaled up in rarity with basic colossal dreadmaw being common.
Edit: the mythic could be colossal dreadmaw, uncaged 4gg.
Planeswalker- colossal dreadmaw.
+1 make a colossal dreadmaw token.
-3 target dreadmaw creature you control fights target non-colossal dreadmaw creature.
-7 search your library any number of dreadmaws put them into play. Creature you control get+1/+1 the each card put into play this way, trample, and haste until end of turn
No previews, no special set symbol, no planeswalker symbol, just some of the packs have a dreadmaw from some previous set in them. That would be my favorite version of this meme.
I keep forgetting i am not on the main sub
As a big fan of Approach of the Second Sun and a proud owner of a sculptable afro, I feel like I was made for this
I'm imagining you showing up to this launch event with a perfectly crafted cubbyhole in your hair that can fit 7 cards.
6 cards, you are the 7th card
"Aw dang, my cubbyhole is 0.012" too deep!"
That's what she said
I just want them to win one turn sooner
Gotta make a deck slot like a duel disk
My bald head screwing me up again
Nah, that's free friction!
What you do is you show up wearing a hat. Then when it's time to cast this, you take off the hat, revealing a chrome dome covered in two-sided sticky tape
This won't help as much as you think - You can stick the bottom card to your head, but the next six cards still need to stay balanced on. Reduces the difficulty by 1/7 at best.
EDIT: Might be really helpful if you're using extra-grody sleeves to begin with
> but the next six cards
Next 5, but yea youre right
Use your head sweat to stick the cards to your head
We gonna need to ban you in competitive unfinity drafts, too strong!
There are times when destiny calls forth a person and demands an action. *Now* is the time. *You* are the person. *This* is your action.
I hope it has a rectangle shaved Into it
Chad play: scry yourself to the bottom.
Go big or go home: Ante yourself.
Well you’re going home it just might not be your home
"haha, I'm your problem now!"
Enslave yourself for the memes!
Anteing makes the card leave the library, so you would stop being a card. Unfortunately.
407.4. To ante an object is to put that object into the ante zone from whichever zone it’s currently in.
You don't have to be a card to be in the ante zone. I'd cite the supreme court case *Air Bud v. Board of Education* for further proof.
Excellent point and citation. To counterpoint, I'd say players are not objects when they are not cards.
If I'm not an object, what am I? A figment of my opponent's imagination? A shared delusion of the rest of society? A mindless automaton? A source of revenue for Hasbro corporate? This card is giving me a lot to think about...
I think we’re still a card when we’re put into the ante zone, though.
It’s just that will cause this enchantment to sac itself and all that.
But we still moved to the ante zone as a card, so we have satisfied the definition of “to ante an object”, in the same way that tokens still touch the graveyard before they stop existing forever. There’s no rule saying we need to get out of the ante zone if we stop being an object.
I rest my case and suggest we make the ante zone a ballpit.
What if I want to be objectified? ...anyone want a free sub to my only fans?
You can use [[R&D's secret lair]] and [[Bronze Tablet]] to get around this
Sounds like some elaborate set-up to hit on someone
We yugioh now boys
Then deliberately knock all the cards off your head, effectively emptying your library, only to win with [[Laboratory Maniac]] or [[Thassa's Oracle]].
oh boy, now *this* is ~~pod racing~~ r/BadMtgCombos
3 card win-the-game, hm
you’re correct, [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/BadMtgCombos/comments/xoo40z/put_yourself_onto_the_battlefield_tear_yourself/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is more like it
[Laboratory Maniac](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/6/0/608567fd-9f94-4058-831a-77cb6019ef02.jpg?1547516361) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Laboratory%20Maniac) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/uma/61/laboratory-maniac?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/608567fd-9f94-4058-831a-77cb6019ef02?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text)
[Thassa's Oracle](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/7/2/726e8b29-13e9-4138-b6a9-d2a0d8188d1c.jpg?1628801828) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Thassa%27s%20Oracle) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/thb/73/thassas-oracle?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/726e8b29-13e9-4138-b6a9-d2a0d8188d1c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
*My mind whirled with grand plans, never thinking of what might happen if I were to whip my hair back and forth.*
Step 2: Sneeze
Step 3: win with Thassa's Oracle thats conveniently always is in your hand
I like the idea that you would win if you didn’t scry yourself but your going for the convoluted win lol
Gonna tear your shirt with that hard of a ***F L E X***
Time to ask my barber to cut a card sized indentation in my hair so the cards fit nicely.
Add it to the list
time to design a hat with a built in deck compartment
Just figured out why cowboy hats are shaped like they are.
Cowboys were the real futurists all along.
Wear a top hat.
Doesn't say anything about not using a special hat either. So you can wear a hat that you can secure everything into as it's on top of your head too. And since hats matter, I'm sure that's a very deliberate loophole.
Yeah but they can target and kill you for wearing a hat, so thats a dangerous game
What do you want to take the form of? A Dragon, A Dreadmaw, or the Approach of the Second Sun?
[[form of the squirrel]]
[form of the squirrel](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/2/2/2241203c-1219-4e75-9973-7e1a44885341.jpg?1562487906) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=form%20of%20the%20squirrel) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/unh/96/form-of-the-squirrel?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2241203c-1219-4e75-9973-7e1a44885341?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
FORM OF! a glass of water!
FORM OF!! A centipede!
FORM OF! a wash-cloth!
Form of the Mulldrifter.
FORM OF! AN ICE MENORAH!
This is like an r/MTGLardfetcher card
Quick someone call peepholeinaglassdoor. We need the advanced rules stat!
The whole time I was reading this card, I was thinking, wait... Did they print a peephole card?
for the unaware: i think [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/s8k8r4/klorkawa_gifter_of_planeswalking/) and [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/txkyyz/forced_spark_ignition/) is on topic
I still don't know what the fuck is going on, help
in his own [words](https://www.reddit.com/r/custommagic/comments/s8k8r4/klorkawa_gifter_of_planeswalking/htgptza/?context=3)
Reading the card explains the card
Edit: shit I just saw the reply to this person
Thank you for sending me down the /u/peepholeinaglassdoor rabbit hole. It's all so unhinged, but Fblthp, Utterly Lost is a masterpiece of a card.
Now that's a dedicated troll if I ever saw one.
Is a deck a hat?
Asking the important questions
I'd say no. I don't remember if it was [[Goblin Haberdasher]] on the Unstable FAQ or Blogatog, but Mark has said a hat has to be a hat. Like, clothes. A bird resting on your head isn't a hat, as it's not the intention or design.
What the hell
Play this with Yet another Aether Vortex then you can put stickers on yourself right?
This is everything I have ever wanted in Magic.
Needs [[Animate Library]] to REALLY pull this off, but still awesome, haha.
If you have this and animate library you are allowed to physically punch whatever you are in combat with.
No, but you do have to stand on the table maybe. If the table breaks, then game ends in a draw probably.
[Animate Library](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/a/d/add4f168-c69e-4045-9725-47208ef69935.jpg?1562931695) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Animate%20Library) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ust/26/animate-library?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/add4f168-c69e-4045-9725-47208ef69935?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Only if you count as a permanent. Unfortunately I can't seem to find the quote, but I believe that players *aren't* permanents and thus, by inference, are temporary. (My condolences.)
You can Manifest yourself with something like [[Write Into Being]]
Idk how you would fit on the battlefield facedown, but you could put stickers on yourself then maybe?
Unfortunately the rules text is "You become a card until you leave your library or that library is shuffled.", so you stop being a card the moment you move to the battlefield.
A buddy of mine thinks this may not be the case "yeah but you have another effect saying you're a face-down creature on the battlefield at the same time"
> 701.34a To manifest a card, turn it face down. It becomes a 2/2 face-down creature card with no text, no name, no subtypes, and no mana cost. Put that card onto the battlefield face down. That permanent is a manifested permanent as long as it remains face down. The effect defining its characteristics works while the card is face down and ends when it’s turned face up.
I think what happens is that you're turned face-down, put onto the battlefield, and then cease to be a card. As you are no longer a card on the battlefield, you are no longer a permanent -
> 110.1. A permanent is a card or token on the battlefield. A permanent remains on the battlefield indefinitely. A card or token becomes a permanent as it enters the battlefield and it stops being a permanent as it’s moved to another zone by an effect or rule.
You might still be on the battlefield, I guess, but the judge might want you to roll off the table.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm allowed to wear a hat over these cards right?
Im just gonna bring a Top Hat to any event
c. easy to put cards on flat top
Sombrero. Plenty of room in the brim.
well you will have to put the hat on and off so be careful.
Hypothetically, but since you need to be able to draw those cards, you'd have to take the hat back off and the jostling of putting on and taking off a hat 2-6 times seems likely to make some fall off.
You're probably better off putting them on top of a hat that has a flat top
But that would be on top of the hat, not on top of your head
I wouldn't imagine so. Would you allow your opponent to put a hat over their library on the table? Balancing on your head is different than "attaching" to your head by using a hat.
I really hope people try to play these cards in the goofy way they are designed instead of trying to take the fun out by exploiting it like this.
Exploitation is part of the fun!
I'm interpreting "balance" to mean the cards have to just be resting on top of your head and can't be secured there in any way.
This has to be the hardest alternate wincon to pull off
I dunno, [[Hedron Alignment]] is up there, I feel.
[Hedron Alignment](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/7/b/7b3ec511-1b78-46e9-8ec2-fc09abd1b434.jpg?1562919793) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Hedron%20Alignment) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ogw/57/hedron-alignment?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/7b3ec511-1b78-46e9-8ec2-fc09abd1b434?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Yeah hedrons are way worse lol
Hedron Alignment was the only one I couldn't make work in my All Alternate Win Cons commander deck. 😔
> All Alternate Win Cons commander deck.
I feel like Coalition Victory would win the game before you could get anything else to work.
Is there a 5-color Legendary creature that has an alternate win condition built in?
Coalition Victory is banned in commander.
This card discriminates against bald players.
Depending on sleeve friction, I think being bald could actually be an advantage here.
You generally want to wear a hat in this set anyway. It's more about hat choice than hairstyle.
hm. See my plan was to lie my head down on my deck and put the cards on my left ear, which in that position would be the topmost part of my head.
But it DOES say "top" of head, making it seem like I would instead need to rest my chin on the deck...
It actually just says to balance the cards on your head, not on TOP of your head.
pff why is this acorn? :P
Because otherwise it's an automatic game loss for a marked card in the library, right? All your normal cards plus one player-shaped card means you always know where the one is in your deck.
yeah that must be the reason. Could be solved with a really tight sleeve though
Usually a card would be acorn because some players might not be able to physically do the required actions. In this case, some players have no heads.
Why do they make us roll dice? Some players have no hands, right?
Yeah some players are hellbent! What about them!
Okay so it’s finally here, the time has come. I am the top card of my own library.
“At the beginning of your draw step….” Opponent goes to make me mill myself or make me exile myself from the top of my own library.
My question is: At what point do I have to sacrifice Platinum Angel to state based actions?
> Opponent goes to make me mill myself or make me exile myself from the top of my own library.
When you leave your library, the effect ends.
The real danger is being fatesealed by something like JTMS or [[Precognition]]
For any effect where the opponent has to look at the top card of your library, how many seconds of awkward eye contact are necessary to fulfill that condition when the top card is you?
Or you may look at the top card of your library at any time
\>hang on, hang on
\>\*looks down at my belly\*
\>...ok, go ahead
What do you do if a card makes you reveal yourself to other players? Does that mean REVEAL? Or just give folks a peek if they want? Consent and all. Wouldn't want to choose between legal charges and a game loss.
See that’s the problem though. The effect would end due to state based actions, and if I have Platinum Angel in play, I can choose to ignore state based actions such as “each opponent sacrifices a creature” resolving.
I can’t be issued a game loss due to ignoring the rules because I have a Platinum Angel in play and I can’t lose the game. I imagine some kind of government entity would have to take me out at that point, but I won’t ever lose that game. Ever.
On a real note: putting myself on the bottom of my own library sounds hilarious.
Have you been to Honolulu in the last few years?
So since a triggered ability makes you a card, if the cards fall off and the enchantment is exiled with those cards, then your very next draw is still going to be yourself, right?
So failing at this makes you lose a draw step I think
You are absolutely right and this is hilarious.
So with [[Animate Library]] you can get on the battlefield and punch your opponent yourself.
This would also allow to make a clone of yourself.
I never want to see anyone give u/peepholeinaglassdoor shit ever again.
He's a creator on r/custommagic who is known for making REALLY out-there card designs. Cards that do things like turn players into creatures or morph creatures onto players. In other words, cards like this one.
There is a key difference between this and his cards, which is that this card actually explains the meaning of the weird shit it's doing.
What's so hard to understand? It's right there in the advanced rules.
He is literally just predicting the future.
Now, to be fair, planeswalking as a keyword action *is* in the comprehensive rules - it means that you move to the next plane in the planar deck. e.g. [[Grove of the Dreampods]]
> 701.24b To planeswalk is to put each face-up plane card and phenomenon card on the bottom of its owner’s planar deck face down, then move the top card of your planar deck off that planar deck and turn it face up.
It still doesn't make sense for *non-*players to planeswalk, though, and I'm not convinced that they *knew* this keyword action was a real thing.
[Grove of the Dreampods](https://c1.scryfall.com/file/scryfall-cards/normal/front/7/e/7e1e76f3-4a95-4bb1-bc21-22614b070711.jpg?1547432484) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Grove%20of%20the%20Dreampods) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/opca/34/grove-of-the-dreampods?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/7e1e76f3-4a95-4bb1-bc21-22614b070711?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Players are planeswalked
Yep, I'd say their infamy isn't ultimately due to their wacky cards, but their conduct.
READING THE CARD EXPLAINS THE CARD
They make the most bizarre non-functional custom magic cards that often introduce five new mechanics at once
A while back they posted some really bizzare cards to r/custommagic. When asked to explain these, they first stated that reading the card explains the card, then claimed the mechanics used were defined in the "advanced rules" of MTG, in which it is possible to shuffle players in libraries. Which apparently causes them to lose the game.
This is the most ridiculous card I love it
"Hold on, I need to sleeve this card up"
Puts on custom printed poncho to match deck sleeves.
I can see how nobody would have guessed this
Ok, this is some funny shit right here.
Un-haters, this is why we want these sets.
It doesn't say what kind of card you are, so can't tutor yourself I guess.
Well you can with a generic tutor, but note that the trigger is “when you draw yourself” so I’d advise against it
If you have yourself in your hand, how much does it cost to play with yourself? A lifetime ban from the LGS?
You're only a card as long as in you're in your library unfortunately
What if you Manifest yourself? xD
>110.1. A permanent is a card or token on the battlefield. A permanent remains on the battlefield indefinitely. A card or token becomes a permanent as it enters the battlefield and it stops being a permanent as it’s moved to another zone by an effect or rule.
I'm not a card or a token, but I am a creature on the battlefield. Permanents which lose all of their permanent types remain on the battlefield, but do permanents who cease being cards and tokens remain on the battlefield? Either way I'm not leaving peacefully.
What if you have [[Future Sight]] or [[The Reality Chip]], can you cast yourself? You’d stop being a card once you went on the stack, but inquiring minds want to know.
You could demonic tutor yourself though
But that doesn't work, as you didn't *draw* yourself; but you do leave the library making you no longer a card.
Funny enough, if the enchantent goes away for any reason, you are still in your library and youre going to get a dead draw.
... So that means you could be milled into the graveyard and/or exiled
Does that just like, kill you? You just lose at that point?
I'm not so sure. The "if you leave your library or it's shuffled clause" isn't written as a separate triggered ability, it's appended to the first one. So you'd probably stop being a card at that point, and that's it
Or, I'd be the most lively draw in the history of magic!
Pretty sure that’s [[Vorthos]] in the foreground, which adds another layer of awesome lore references to this and that card!
This is the greatest Magic card I have ever seen.
What would happen if you phase out & in this card? You stop being a card. Then you become a card again, but... do you need to put yourself 7th from the top again?
YO! This is the best hypothetical. I believe that if the enchantment phases put, youre just a cheating idiot with 6 cards on your head. :)
Knock the cards off, phase enchantment in response to trigger. Success
What's the CMC of a human card for the purposes of Cascade?
Also, what if you get placed on the bottom of your own deck.
Cascade exiles the cards revealed, so you're not a card as soon as you're pulled from the top of the deck.
If you get placed on the bottom of your deck then logically that would mean you would be balancing your entire deck on your head.
Wait, so can I just draw a picture of myself and win the game on the spot? JUDGE!!
You are not taking the Form of Approach of the Second Sun at this point. Fail.
eagerly awaiting the combo that allows you to somehow use this to make your opponent a copy of Blacker Lotus and legally horrifically dismember them
This is something I can get behind…
Vorthie is having the absolute time of her life here.
And I thought the combo that turned your opponent's phone into Chaos Confetti was mean.
Someone is going to find a way to cast you, turn YOU into a Chaos Confetti, and make you activate yourself.
Holy shit. This is godlike
This is fucking excellent!
This would get bottom 5 on r/custommagic
I fucking love this card 10/10 best card in the set
This is the Unshit I’m enthusiastically here for. Thank you Maro.
Is this+[[Trigger Happy]] two card win??? Actually insane to think wotc does this again after shaheeli incident
Yes, it is. Good catch!
So what happens if you shuffle?
EDIT: Reading the card actually explains the card, it turns out!
The card says that you're not a card anymore
I know what the card says, but it'd still be hilarious to give your opponent a suggestive look and say "I can't seem to shuffle myself, so can you ... shuffle me?".
r/hellscube wishes it could come up with something as cursed as this
I feel confident that this is the current top post on at least two subs out of HellsCube, CustomMTG and MagicTheCirclejerking