The "I'm too old" argument is such bullshit, and the "they sleep around" thing has been used in my town for a while to stereotype trans people as prostitute tr*ps. Ugh.
Exactly! My dad is 74 and he just told me that one of his friends child came out as none binary and he was talking to his friend about how it’s ok, the important thing is your child knows you love them and life will be ok. My dad has no idea my husband is trans but my husband was listening in on the conversation and was stunned as his own parents needed years to accept him. So yea she is not an excuse
The "I'm too old" argument RILES me up.
I go to a... Uh... How should I say this... Sometimes "overly progressive school", I often find myself explaining to very wealthy, white, privileged Canadians who grew up in progressive households the kind of perspectives that many people are coming from and why we need to educate them and not immediately vilify them.
That being said, it's a two way street and those people need to be willing to be educated and so many are just not. They use the REASONING for their ignorance (which is completely valid) as an EXCUSE not to learn (which is utter BS).
Like if you're 90 and forgetting everything yeah whatever, too old to learn, but you're 45 with 3 kids schedules and the nightly cable schedule packed into your brain Susan I KNOW you can remember a few damn pronouns.
My grandma is 70 and she approves of anything LGBT. Her motto is as long as they're happy.
Unless you're 100 and senile, there's no excuse. "Too old" is bullshit. Let people be happy with themselves as long as they're not hurting someone else.
Exactly. One of my friends grandma's forgot he came out cause dementia. Like yeah, it hurt being called his birth name, but what can you do? She couldn't even remember some of his younger cousins existed.
Yes, this is the exception I'm talking about. She just doesn't.. know. Literally doesn't remember. It's not her fault.
I'm really sorry though. My uncle also has dementia and its painful to see him like that.. horrible disease.
Well, I think senile can be independent from old age. So I'd say you can be too senile to accept people, maybe, but not too old.
Just agreeing that the "too old" bit is bullshit.
The funny thing is, I don’t even care how many people my (non existent) partner has slept with. As long as they are honest about it, and are honest about their STI status, why does it matter? I’m so sick of her stereotypes and calling people whores. And she always brings this stuff up, she brought this up, I didn’t.
Agreed. My 76 year old father got to “people is people” more or less. My mom, who is nearly the same age, went hard liberal after my coming out forced her to examine her unconscious prejudices.
Also, looking like clowns? Maybe early transition when we are having Second Puberty, but once we hit elevensies, we more or less re-adult emotionally, physically, and aesthetically. After that, we start to blend in. Happened to me and every trans person I know. The look on some folks’ faces when they find out I am trans never gets old.
Anyways, the evil part of me thinks OP should date a trans person who is later in their transition and only tell the mom when she’s grown to love them. Make her feel love before she is told her love conflicts with her hate by implication. Let the mind go fuck itself and hopefully a more developed human comes out the other side.
Same shit they used to say about gay people. Pretty much every anti-trans thing I hear I used to hear people say word for word about gay people as a kid.
It's a load of bollocks, too. My parents had me late, so of my friends I have the oldest parent, despite being my being on the younger end in our group. Dad's the eldest amongst his circle of friends, too.
He's the most pro-trans/least transphobic, both amongst his mates, and amongst parents within my friendship group. Though he's got good competition there, whereas it's not even close amongst his circle.
He's 74. Not ancient, but so many of the people saying they're too old are in their 50s and 60s.
I understand the "I'm too old" argument well. I dated a trans man about a year ago. My grandma was not accepting of it at all (she was 71 at the time) however, her sister in law (80) was completely fine with it. Just a case of being ready to accept and adapt, not age.
The "they sleep around" is so hilarious to me, because one of the most common traits I see is a desire for emotional connection and an actually accepting, loving, and stable home...
Not an ace trans, but demi.
I find the idea of sleeping around, pretty gross (you do you, but I'm not even going to touch a stranger), but also extremely concerning, since I am trans, and would like to not get assaulted, please.
Hell, it ignores the existence of trans gay people too, or trans men. Basically anyone who isn't a straight trans woman.
It stems from the idea that trans women are just "very gay men" and that gay men are extremely promiscuous.
Meanwhile, my desire for sex shifted and changed. I'm very much only attracted to women, but the way I think of sex has it being a distant desire. Hell, a lot of what was driving my aggressive attraction before was envy.
While im not saying i agree with ops mom, those who sleep around a lot are often peeps who are desperate for affection but dont believe they will get it long term. Though some just enjoy boning.
Me too. What’s even more ironic is that my brother is a gay man and used to sleep with a lot of people lmao but at least he’s not trans, right? They won’t let him wear a dress
My ex wife has a gay brother but still has told my daughters that I’m not a mom. They call me mom and I do all the typical mom stuff (cook, clean, Girl Scouts, dance class, PTA). She wonders why he never brings home boyfriends. I feel bad for him. But I’m happy I found something much better.
Exactly! If I’m dating someone, it doesn’t matter how many people they have slept with.
My mom calls everyone a whore. If you like to show off your body, if you strip, you like to have threesomes you’re a whore.
All of a sudden she was trying to be sex positive yesterday and I was trying to call her out on calling people a whore and then suddenly she said this about trans people randomly. Idk why but I was shocked lol
Im ace and virgin. Maybe one day ill be interested in trying sex just to try it, but until I make that choice for me, im dying a happy ass virgin lmao.
I'm trans and I've slept around with a lot of people.
But at the end of the day, SO WHAT.
My cis peers did the exact same thing, the amount of sexual partners your have has zero bearing on your sexuality or gender identity.
If somebody seriously said this to me I think I'd respond with: ".....Jealous?"
Me (demisexual trans woman and half the trans people I know are demi, ace or greyace): (confused noises) We sleep around a lot? Has she met cis people?
She’s just an unapologetic bigot who dared you to call her on it and didn’t appreciate honesty. Your reaction was very reasonable. Hopefully she can learn and grow to be a better person. I’m middle-aged myself and using age as an excuse for not continuing to improve oneself is a lazy cop out.
Unfortunately I live with her. It took her awhile to accept im bi. When I first came out, she tried to convince it me was a phase and she told me how disgusting it is to imagine going down on a women as a women. That was 7 years ago, and I was hoping things changed but obviously she still is closed minded about things.
Do you have a therapist? If not, see if you can get one. Someone like that can help you set healthy boundaries with her. When you're out of the house, you'll be able to more easily keep her at arms distance while you live your life in a healthy way.
Edit: also if you're still living with them, are you young? If you're young, I'm gonna guess they're not that old (like not much past 50). And if you're not young, then you should be prioritizing moving out for your own health.
Yes,I do have a therapist and she’s great. She’s actually bisexual too. I’m 21 but mom is 60. I am going to graduate college soon but I don’t know if I can afford to move out, rent here is like $1700 a month for a 1 bed apartment.
This conversation started with her talking about vibrators at the dinner table. I tried to call her out because a few days ago she called anyone who strips a whore, and now she was suddenly being “sex positive.” I actually don’t like to talk about sex, but I feel like I have to retaliate or else their judgements will get in my head. My family is very judgemental, like when I came out they didn’t really accept me, my gay brother outed me. Anyways. That’s my story.
Damn that's wrong sorry about this friend I feel your pain. I really wish I had more words to tell you on how to go about this but nothing comes to mind and I don't want to say something weird or dumb
> When I first came out, she tried to convince it me was a phase and she told me how disgusting it is to imagine going down on a women as a women.
Omg! My mom said the same thing to which I responded, oh really? now imagine most real-world hetero couples you know having sex 🤢🤮 PSA, other people's sex lives aren't for your personal enjoyment so better to not to imagine it or keep it to yourself.
If you can’t get out of your living situation, you don’t have to bring anyone you date home, or have a deep and vulnerable relationship with your mother. Put her on an information diet. Treat her like a coworker you need to get along with.
Create chosen family. Look forward to when you can get out.
You’re strong for even broaching this with her! I’m not anxious to talk to my mom about my sexuality because I don’t want to hear her disagreement. But I also don’t live with her. She’s going to find herself knowing less and less about your life if she keeps this up. I guess it’s her choice and she will be missing out. I’m sorry she’s so closed-minded.
Yes I agree with this statement being old is not an excuse for discrimination and hate. Not trying to be weird or mean but your mom seems cold I have my mother too that doesn't like trans people or specifically everybody in the rainbow lgbtq she doesn't know the acronym and she once told me that all gay people should be burned but she meant everybody and that to me is wrong right? I hope everything works out better for you let us know inquiring minds would like to know haha
I'm sorry, OP. Your mom sounds like ... a lot. It also sounds like she doesn't know the difference between trans people and drag queens in show makeup, and also like she's for some reason assuming promiscuity has anything to do with any of that. I hope it's just ignorance, but holy cow ... I'd be offended, too.
It was a very common trope that trans women were promiscuous back in the 70's-80's. Back then it was far more common to have to rely on prostitution to survive- to eat, maybe have somewhere to live, maybe maybe get HRT and/or surgery. She likely remembers the promiscuous part because that's what people who hated trans people universally understood about trans people. None of them ever implored why that might be the case or what caused them to have to rely on prostitution for survival anyways, because the bigots never cared.
I agree the clowns comment was likely hate directed at drag queens and she doesn't know the difference.
I hate that people project a stereotype onto us that's only true because we were forced too, just to survive, let alone for Gender affirming care, because the Cishets sure as fuck couldn't be bothered to give a hand
My mum did the same thing she told me I wasn't allowed to bring my trans bf home anymore after meeting them once so I packed my stuff that night and moved out and honestly I'm so proud of myself for doing it and not putting up with her hate
I'm offended at your mom too she doesn't sound very supportive
Your mother needs to know that it is not appropriate for her to tell you who you can and cannot date. Ever. Period. Full stop.
It’s also important for her to know that you are a member of the LGBTQ community. When she shows bigotry towards the trans members of our community, she might just as well direct that bigotry directly towards you.
She was trying to hurt you with that comment, and I think you need to talk about *why* she felt the need to say that.
Well if it makes you happier, in about 5 to 10 years, she will be thinking to herself "How come neither of my children talk to me?" unless of course she manages to become a less hateful person and stops actively pushing away her children
Don’t say that there are plenty of people who accept trans people, obviously mom just isn’t one of them. I don’t care what she says, I would still love a trans person openly. I also think that I may be somewhere on the non binary spectrum so lol
Being mad you’re offended is gaslighting.
Clearly it’s all bullshit. Sounds like you wouldn’t want your date - or friends or anyone - to have to endure meeting your mom. She’s done the work for you by telling you this.
Next time you’re dating he very clear you won’t be bringing them home (no need to mention gender).
You are either just like her, or "useless". That seems to be her opinion. She wants you as hateful as her or You're "wrong". I would consider making plans to distance yourself as soon as its a possible course. I know that s not an option right now and im sorry for that. But this will likely only continue until she gets what she wants.
Edit: nobody asks "are you offended" like that with any intention but a fight. Same vibe as "ya triggered, snowflake?"
Yeah don’t take any of this to heart. To put it lightly it sounds like your mom has some big issues to work through for herself personally, and she takes it out on you. Might be that she doesn’t understand or know how to control her own behaviour, but that doesn’t excuse it in any way. It’s abuse.
Just make sure you know that, and know you *can* put up boundaries. If you’re legally an adult these boundaries can be as big as you want, but if not it’s seriously worth considering talking to a close family friend or relative you trust about the situation if you’re able to, and trying to get out or at least have them on side.
I don’t know the full situation of course, but more than anything just know that you are not the problem here. You are valid and loved.
My dumb ass tried to talk my Catholic parents into letting me bring my wonderful sweet (now ex) trans girlfriend over for Christmas. They talked to me about their beliefs regarding trans people and my sexuality. I still remember how hard I was gripping my glass of water. I swore I would never attempt to introduce them to any female partner in the future after that because if they had said any of their transphobic bullshit to her face I would have had to punch them.
I don’t know I’m not even dating anyone right now.. My mom was talking about vibrators and was suddenly said she was trying to be sex positive.. I kind of called her out for being hypocritical because a few days ago she called anyone who is a stripper a whore.. and then all of a sudden she brought up trans people
My mom is 77. She is fully supportive of me being NB. She doesn’t see anything wrong with trans people, after learning a bit about what it means. There is no age cap on open mindedness. Only excuses used by bigots who don’t WANT to be open or learn new things. I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP.
“They sleep around with a lot of people.”
Here is a question for her: How exactly does she know this?
And I didn’t know or realize trans people had red sphere noses and whacky hair with huge shoes and a horn. Hmm sounds like she is tooting her own horn. We sure she isn’t talking about herself? 😂😂
I told her mom of the time she wouldn’t even know if somebody was trans, and she was like “well does she have a pussy?” Like really why does somebody’s genitals matter to you 💀
"they look like clowns"?
Sounds like she doesn't even know WHAT a trans person *is*, and she's confusing transgender with transvestite & drag shows.
She's gonna need to meet some real trans people who aren't drag performers. People who look like regular people expressing genders that they weren't assigned at birth, and not comedic performers playing with gender.
My father is 60 and my mother in her mid 50's and neither one of them are offended that I'm dating a black man and neither one of them are offended that my sister is dating a trans woman.
Your mom isn't too old to be open minded. She's a prick so it seems and feel free to tell her I said that.
'...mad that I'm offended' I'm sorry but her lack of emotional intelligence is as funny as it is baffling.
Shout-out to my mom for telling me I can bring home whoever when the time comes when she had - the talk -
with me when I was in elementary school.
I’m 42 years old, a trans woman, and have had sex with a grand total of two people - one of which being my wife. I bet your mom has had more sexual partners than that.
I am not diagnosing (and couldn’t possibly with this little to go on), but that sounds an awful lot like a narcissist intentionally trying to upset you/make you angry for supply
/r/raisedbynarcissists in case
Either way, sounds like you shouldn’t bring anyone “home” to your mom. She belongs in the no contact bin.
As a trans person (AMAB nonbinary) I personally would hate to meet someone who does not approve of their offspring being with someone like me. Age is not a valid excuse (nothing is) for her bigotry and I hope you are able to find someone who makes you happy, and don't worry about her. I don't view family as biological at all. If someone loves and cares about the authentic you unconditionally, they're family, at least, in my opinion. Stay strong, bud.
Also, she assumes all trans people are attractive enough to sleep around? That's so wrong that it's almost funny.
Alot of stereotypes about trans people suck, from most un educated people from her age just have been told its a pornographic sexual thing due to the amount of porn is produced and fetishized from them and false media trying to portray them as negative . Im sorry you have a situation around her. You sadly cant force her to be open minded but she cant excuse being disrespectful, even if you don't respect a person they are still human. I would say try and have a sit down but i dont know how stubborn she is, still with that, best of luck with you and your situation ❤️
She can die mad. "Too old" is bullshit - she's just a jerk. I'm sorry about that. :(
If it's any consolation, our parents are the ones who teach us that we have to love them - which makes them an unreliable source. It sucks when our parents turn out to be unkind. :(
This would be funny if it weren’t so dangerous and hateful. The “trans people are promiscuous” thing sounds like it was copied and pasted from Red Scare era anti-gay propaganda.
How's she gonna know if they're trans tho? She clearly doesn't know what a trans person looks like if she thinks they "look like Clowns" she doesn't know anything about being trans so hows she gonna know you brought one home unless someone specifically tells her.
The too old is such bs. One of my grandma's closest friends who would be about the same age as her if my grandma were sti around. But she is the sweetest person and is super supportive. Like she destroys that argument. It's not that they are too old it's they don't want to accept them.
This is also a fear of mine because my gf's mom is awful and super homophobic and transphobic. Like she knows my gf is gay but doesn't want her to date or even tell anyone. So she had asked her is i was a lesbian (i am much ruder way. She also doesn't know im trans) and my gf said yes. Her mom then asked if we were dating and she said no. To which her mom immediately said "good".
I'm mad that she's mad that you're offended. We do not "sleep around". And what's with this "I'm too old" bullshit? my dad had no problem with trans people or anyone in the LGBTQ+ community and he's probably older than her
"Too old to be open minded"
I'm sorry, and I don't mean to be offensive to your mom but that is such bull shit. The truth is she has hate in her heart and can't dare allow other humans to live a life that goes against what she believes. I hope you stay safe and are able to get away from such people at some point in your life!
This is just another great example of the failure of humanity. Your mom needs to get with the times just like I had to tell my father tonight that for the last 4 years I have evolved into his eldest daughter. In my fathers mind I am my former self yet I have had full conversion surgery and have had all documentation legally and properly done to have my country recognize me as female because I am. I have decent breasts and a vagina, and I nearly died and went through the worst nightmare of realizing the trauma I have been miserable for 44 years of my life till I realized my true self.
I have a boyfriend who flew 7000kms and treats me like a literal princess and queen and told me it would be such a waste if I didn't have the courage to become my authentic self, my mom accepts me as her daughter and my boyfriend who literally paid for a full week to take me to Niagra Falls first time ever and he spoiled me and loved spending time with his girl..... ME.
I am so fed up with peoples self-centered and selfish entitlement to voice their opinions where their thoughts and statements lack compassion and hurt the people they're supposed to be supporting us the most. People forget that it's not about them and to think otherwise is literally ridiculous.
When a person's opinion threatens another person's way of life it becomes a comment and instrument of selfishness and cruelty, and bullying. Sadly it happens to come sometimes from the people we love the most.
I would politely say to your mother how would you feel if you were to condemned to live your life in a body which made no sense to you?
Do you think she chose to be this way ?
No one goes through a change like this on a whim.
You can tell her that this comment comes from a woman who it took 49 years to blossom into the woman she was destined and was meant to be. It took nearly 4 and a half decades to figure out what the issue of my misery was, and an absolute miracle to blossom into the most loved and adored woman that my special man and many friends now can appreciate me to be.
My journey nearly ended June 2021, when following gender affirmation surgery (Vaginoplasty) I suffered 2 massive post op vaginal hemmorages where I nearly bled to death. I needed 4 units of blood transfused to replace what I lost.
Do you think I deserved to go through such a horrific experience just to have the bravery to defy what I felt, that I was a woman since day one, except society seems to have the authority to judge something they clearly don't understand nor have any business imposing their beliefs on someone they don't even know.
The irony is and truth that if anyone ever was spoken to the way your mom has spoken to you they I guarantee would tell your Mom where to go and wouldn't hesitate for a second to tell your mom where to go. She has no right to dictate your heart.
Ask her as it seems when you turn people's BS back in their direction say how would you feel if you brought a man home or someone that you didn't like or wish to have her associate with perhaps even a friend ask her how she would feel if you protested her bringing someone home?
I was a 911 dispatcher for 10 years saving peoples lives. I didn't care if they were gay straight bi, trans, cis whatever label society loves to put on people.
My job was to save peoples lives which Essentially means ALL LIVES MATTER, people called me during their worst days possible and I was professional, their gender identity, orientation, colour of their skin, ALL of them needed my help through their most difficult days, whoever they were was irrelevant they ALL NEEDED HELP.
It makes me sick that people haven't grown up in 2022 years of recorded history. Hope my thoughts, help and your trans friend either her/him should be welcomed by your mom because this person is IMPORTANT TO YOU, and she should respect that.
My transition is complete therefore I will not and refuse to accept anyone calling me trans anymore. It is a TEMPORARY state, I have transitioned and with vagina and breasts as crudely as this put, don't know about all of you but that classifies me as anatomically female, so therefore I am female just like I have ALWAYS BEEN.
Good luck
49 FEMALE Canada
"They sleep around and look like clowns", if she can make those assumptions about us, I'm gonna make em right back, and assume she looks like a clown and can't keep it in her pants, because generalizing like that is bullshit, and being old is not an excuse.
If she's not dead, she's old enough to figure out how not to be a dick.
You'd think after a few decades, people would get there at some point.
Trans people sleep arround with a lot of people as much as homosexual people and heterosexual, bisexual etc. It depends purely on the person itself, not their gender identity. Also if the person that is with you wants a serious relationship doesn't that mean they don't want to be sleeping arround?
My dad is 72. He went to university with trans people and didn't care. Anyway, how does she know trans people sleep around? How many trans people is she sleeping with to know this?
The only people too old to change are *the dead.*
Change is the only constant n life. If you can't keep up or at least get out of the way to live and let live, then go find a nice hole in the ground and get a headstart on fucking off to the wrong side of history.
We salute you, "one trans person who is getting all the action", for your services to earning us a reputation for joyful promiscuity that the rest of us aren't even vaguely living up to.
🫡🫡🫡
I have an idea , show her photos of trans womans/men amongst photos of born female/male without telling her and see if she can tell the difference ! tel her only at the end , that would prove her trans peoples don't look like clowns
Well just say you're too young to not be offended and you're mad that she's mad that you're offended... Sorry but in all seriousness with the way she's acting I'm not sure you'll be able to get through to her easily.
My (Cis-F 36) grandparents are extremely conservative Christian people. They swallow faux news, like they have for forty+ years. They're perfect examples of what happens when the news is limited in a geographical area.
That said, my ex girlfriend and one of my best friends is an open Trans woman. They go see her everytime they go to the city, and they take her to lunch. My grandfather sends her a Veterans card every November. They sent her a wedding gift when she married her current wife. For context, they're 80 years old.
I will never accept the argument that the Christian religion or age makes one intolerant. People are hateful because they choose to be. Your mother needs a reality check, and if she won't fix her sht, there's plenty of us that are more than willing to stand in. You are loved and you deserve to be accepted, period.
>She said if I dated a trans person I am not allowed to bring them home.
Do it anyway. You have too much life to live to worry about an old bigot's closed mind.
That sounds incredibly unsafe, both for OP but especially their potential partner. My abusive and bigoted parents had a meltdown and threw my ex partner out of their house when she was visiting (with their permission) from two states away one summer.
She’s such a weirdo.. I will say I do find it comical she called us Clowns but she for sure is lazy “TOO OLD TO BE OPEN MINDED” no you’re just a fucking Lazy pathetic sloth.
She's too old to be open minded? Fuck off, Betty White didn't have any trouble being open minded to anyone. We sleep around? Honey, it's taken me 19 years to lose my virginity.
Just don't tell her your partner is trans 🤷🏼♀️
Does your mom understand that transwomen do not look like the contestants on Drag Race? Not saying ladies can’t do their makeup like that but I don’t think that’s the norm to just run to the grocery store.
>they look like clowns
Sounds like she's confused that mirror for a window.
>She says she’s just too old to be open minded to them
She's trying to excuse herself for being a bigot. *"I'm from a different generation"*, sure Gladis, that would explain why you're unfamiliar with new slang terms, not why you think certain people don't deserve basic human respect and rights.
>She asked if I was offended, and I said yes, and now she’s mad I’m offended.
As if seeing other human beings as lesser than wasn't already a huge red flag.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you to stay safe and do what's best for yourself ❤️
As the loving mother of a trans son, please tell your mother, from me, that she’s a dumpster fire of a human being.
Only thing about her I like is that she spawned you, OP.
Agree with everyone about your mom but wanted to add this, her comment about trans people being promiscuous might stem from the old connection of trans women to prostitution (since she’s older that’s what I’m guessing). However people kind of throw that out and make that association without thinking about the reasons. Trans people and particularly trans people of color are more likely to be kicked out of homes and left homeless, also more likely to be discriminated against for jobs, even more pronounced in the 1970s-2000s era when people were even more discriminatory than they are now. Combine both of those things and the only option many people had was sex work. Nothing wrong with sex work, but this is not a choice so much as a failure of the system, and unfortunately much of the early representation of trans people in media portrayed them as sex workers. I am definitely thinking your moms biases may have to do with that subconsciously, so some education for her could definitely be useful in talking about this.
My mom told me some sh*t like this. Almost word for word. I decided then and there that it was time for me to come out as trans. Can you imagine her surprise. 😂😂😂
She did not react well and still isn’t handling it well to this day but she was so abusive to me as a kid growing up, it’s impossible for me to do anything but get excited when she’s upset.
LoL fyck her, find your true family. Check Meetup, there's several groups near me doing xmas day for those with shit families that can't accept them.
I have an aunt that gave me the "all trans people sleep around" line. She also gave me the "all trans people are unemployed and on Medicare" bullshit. Which is hella ironic considering i make great money, and have good insurance, and she's unemployed and living off SSI. Which is fine if you need it, but shes said multiple times she could work but chooses not to.
Haven't talked to her since.
The "I'm too old" argument is such bullshit, and the "they sleep around" thing has been used in my town for a while to stereotype trans people as prostitute tr*ps. Ugh.
Exactly! My dad is 74 and he just told me that one of his friends child came out as none binary and he was talking to his friend about how it’s ok, the important thing is your child knows you love them and life will be ok. My dad has no idea my husband is trans but my husband was listening in on the conversation and was stunned as his own parents needed years to accept him. So yea she is not an excuse
> one of his friends child came out as nine binary Damn, that's a lot of binary xD
1001
that or slightly over a byte of data
0x100 (0b100000000)
Damn, now there’s no binary, none.
The "I'm too old" argument RILES me up. I go to a... Uh... How should I say this... Sometimes "overly progressive school", I often find myself explaining to very wealthy, white, privileged Canadians who grew up in progressive households the kind of perspectives that many people are coming from and why we need to educate them and not immediately vilify them. That being said, it's a two way street and those people need to be willing to be educated and so many are just not. They use the REASONING for their ignorance (which is completely valid) as an EXCUSE not to learn (which is utter BS). Like if you're 90 and forgetting everything yeah whatever, too old to learn, but you're 45 with 3 kids schedules and the nightly cable schedule packed into your brain Susan I KNOW you can remember a few damn pronouns.
My grandma is 70 and she approves of anything LGBT. Her motto is as long as they're happy. Unless you're 100 and senile, there's no excuse. "Too old" is bullshit. Let people be happy with themselves as long as they're not hurting someone else.
Exactly. One of my friends grandma's forgot he came out cause dementia. Like yeah, it hurt being called his birth name, but what can you do? She couldn't even remember some of his younger cousins existed.
Yes, this is the exception I'm talking about. She just doesn't.. know. Literally doesn't remember. It's not her fault. I'm really sorry though. My uncle also has dementia and its painful to see him like that.. horrible disease.
Well, I think senile can be independent from old age. So I'd say you can be too senile to accept people, maybe, but not too old. Just agreeing that the "too old" bit is bullshit.
Exactly. My grandma is 75 and very supportive of the LGBTQ+ community.
The funny thing is, I don’t even care how many people my (non existent) partner has slept with. As long as they are honest about it, and are honest about their STI status, why does it matter? I’m so sick of her stereotypes and calling people whores. And she always brings this stuff up, she brought this up, I didn’t.
Agree so much I get that all the time from my 80 yr old mom and 81 year old father. My mom I can tell is making an effort, my father is not
This. My 88 year old grandfather has absolutely no problem accepting me. He even told me I looked lovely the other night.
Agreed. My 76 year old father got to “people is people” more or less. My mom, who is nearly the same age, went hard liberal after my coming out forced her to examine her unconscious prejudices. Also, looking like clowns? Maybe early transition when we are having Second Puberty, but once we hit elevensies, we more or less re-adult emotionally, physically, and aesthetically. After that, we start to blend in. Happened to me and every trans person I know. The look on some folks’ faces when they find out I am trans never gets old. Anyways, the evil part of me thinks OP should date a trans person who is later in their transition and only tell the mom when she’s grown to love them. Make her feel love before she is told her love conflicts with her hate by implication. Let the mind go fuck itself and hopefully a more developed human comes out the other side.
Same shit they used to say about gay people. Pretty much every anti-trans thing I hear I used to hear people say word for word about gay people as a kid.
It's a load of bollocks, too. My parents had me late, so of my friends I have the oldest parent, despite being my being on the younger end in our group. Dad's the eldest amongst his circle of friends, too. He's the most pro-trans/least transphobic, both amongst his mates, and amongst parents within my friendship group. Though he's got good competition there, whereas it's not even close amongst his circle. He's 74. Not ancient, but so many of the people saying they're too old are in their 50s and 60s.
I understand the "I'm too old" argument well. I dated a trans man about a year ago. My grandma was not accepting of it at all (she was 71 at the time) however, her sister in law (80) was completely fine with it. Just a case of being ready to accept and adapt, not age.
The "they sleep around" is so hilarious to me, because one of the most common traits I see is a desire for emotional connection and an actually accepting, loving, and stable home...
Not to mention, it just completely ignores the existence of asexual trans people, which don't seem all that uncommon, at least here on Reddit.
Hi, that's me, I'm the asexual trans person ☺️
Ay, same!
I'm here too
And my axe! Oh wait, erm... me too
Oh yea uhh I'm 90(?)% sure I'm on the spectrum of liking Garlic Bread and cake too? Idk, sexuality is wierd and complicated
Where did you guys get those flairs?
I'm around as well, if demigirl counts as trans! :P
I'm not trans, but I'm gay as shit and ace and I wanted to see if anyone wanted cuddles and garlic bread!
Yes plsssss!
I'm not trans, but I'm gay as shit and ace and I wanted to see if anyone wanted cuddles and garlic bread!
Ace Trans Gang pull up!
r/unexpectedLOTR
Ace trans gang represent! 💜🖤🤍
Yoo
Me too ☺️
Also me!
Not an ace trans, but demi. I find the idea of sleeping around, pretty gross (you do you, but I'm not even going to touch a stranger), but also extremely concerning, since I am trans, and would like to not get assaulted, please.
Hell, it ignores the existence of trans gay people too, or trans men. Basically anyone who isn't a straight trans woman. It stems from the idea that trans women are just "very gay men" and that gay men are extremely promiscuous. Meanwhile, my desire for sex shifted and changed. I'm very much only attracted to women, but the way I think of sex has it being a distant desire. Hell, a lot of what was driving my aggressive attraction before was envy.
Hello there
Yup there is a LOT of us
We could build an army with the amount of us there are
Also acts like cis individuals don't sleep around.
Truth!!!
Incredible how trans people are massive sluts but simultaneously completely unfuckable
I really just want someone who'll cuddle with me for hours and hours.
That is surely the dream. 🥰
While im not saying i agree with ops mom, those who sleep around a lot are often peeps who are desperate for affection but dont believe they will get it long term. Though some just enjoy boning.
And both exist in all sexually active groups, too, whether you are listing sexualities, genders, ethnicities, or anything else.
Im not disagreeing with that.
[удалено]
Me too. What’s even more ironic is that my brother is a gay man and used to sleep with a lot of people lmao but at least he’s not trans, right? They won’t let him wear a dress
My ex wife has a gay brother but still has told my daughters that I’m not a mom. They call me mom and I do all the typical mom stuff (cook, clean, Girl Scouts, dance class, PTA). She wonders why he never brings home boyfriends. I feel bad for him. But I’m happy I found something much better.
My ex also didn’t really stick up for me around their family. They always just worried what their family would think.
Trans and aceish here....
But while we're on the subject. What's wrong with sleeping around witg lots of people? It's not your fault your mom had a boring life.
Exactly! If I’m dating someone, it doesn’t matter how many people they have slept with. My mom calls everyone a whore. If you like to show off your body, if you strip, you like to have threesomes you’re a whore. All of a sudden she was trying to be sex positive yesterday and I was trying to call her out on calling people a whore and then suddenly she said this about trans people randomly. Idk why but I was shocked lol
Trans virgin gang : D
Transfem here - married for 10 years to my amazing wife and we were each others first and only.
Samesies!
My thoughts exactly. I'm a demisexual virgin, I'm not sleeping around with people.
Im ace and virgin. Maybe one day ill be interested in trying sex just to try it, but until I make that choice for me, im dying a happy ass virgin lmao.
Don't bother... overrated. But yeah, it did satisfy my curiosity.
Thank you it just occurred to me that ive never asked a non virgin ace that question.. its nice to hear this from an ace perspective.
Of course you are. Like, you can’t expect her reasonings to ACTUALLY make sense. That would be impossible.
I'm trans and I've slept around with a lot of people. But at the end of the day, SO WHAT. My cis peers did the exact same thing, the amount of sexual partners your have has zero bearing on your sexuality or gender identity. If somebody seriously said this to me I think I'd respond with: ".....Jealous?"
I've literally slept with one person ever, my wife of 13 years. Maybe OPs Mom is the actual 🤡
Your mother has slept around with more people than me, and I am 35. Let's see her try to beat 0.
I am almost sure that she has had sex at least once, successfully
Tf is UNsuccessful sex? Blue balls maybe?
Me (demisexual trans woman and half the trans people I know are demi, ace or greyace): (confused noises) We sleep around a lot? Has she met cis people? She’s just an unapologetic bigot who dared you to call her on it and didn’t appreciate honesty. Your reaction was very reasonable. Hopefully she can learn and grow to be a better person. I’m middle-aged myself and using age as an excuse for not continuing to improve oneself is a lazy cop out.
I heard you all like to take naps and get headpats 🤭🤭🤭
We do
 Gibs head pats
As an aceish trans person .....are we sure she isnt confusing trans people with narcoleptics? Cause that is true
what to people who tend to fall asleep have to do with it?
They fall asleep anywhere. They literally sleep around a LOT.
I am dense, thanks
In all fairness, its a bit of a thinker.
My brain processed that quicker than it should have
Sounds like you and your mom need some space from each other while she works on her bigotry. Being old isn't an excuse for discrimination and hate.
Unfortunately I live with her. It took her awhile to accept im bi. When I first came out, she tried to convince it me was a phase and she told me how disgusting it is to imagine going down on a women as a women. That was 7 years ago, and I was hoping things changed but obviously she still is closed minded about things.
Do you have a therapist? If not, see if you can get one. Someone like that can help you set healthy boundaries with her. When you're out of the house, you'll be able to more easily keep her at arms distance while you live your life in a healthy way. Edit: also if you're still living with them, are you young? If you're young, I'm gonna guess they're not that old (like not much past 50). And if you're not young, then you should be prioritizing moving out for your own health.
Yes,I do have a therapist and she’s great. She’s actually bisexual too. I’m 21 but mom is 60. I am going to graduate college soon but I don’t know if I can afford to move out, rent here is like $1700 a month for a 1 bed apartment. This conversation started with her talking about vibrators at the dinner table. I tried to call her out because a few days ago she called anyone who strips a whore, and now she was suddenly being “sex positive.” I actually don’t like to talk about sex, but I feel like I have to retaliate or else their judgements will get in my head. My family is very judgemental, like when I came out they didn’t really accept me, my gay brother outed me. Anyways. That’s my story.
Damn that's wrong sorry about this friend I feel your pain. I really wish I had more words to tell you on how to go about this but nothing comes to mind and I don't want to say something weird or dumb
> When I first came out, she tried to convince it me was a phase and she told me how disgusting it is to imagine going down on a women as a women. Omg! My mom said the same thing to which I responded, oh really? now imagine most real-world hetero couples you know having sex 🤢🤮 PSA, other people's sex lives aren't for your personal enjoyment so better to not to imagine it or keep it to yourself.
If you can’t get out of your living situation, you don’t have to bring anyone you date home, or have a deep and vulnerable relationship with your mother. Put her on an information diet. Treat her like a coworker you need to get along with. Create chosen family. Look forward to when you can get out.
You’re strong for even broaching this with her! I’m not anxious to talk to my mom about my sexuality because I don’t want to hear her disagreement. But I also don’t live with her. She’s going to find herself knowing less and less about your life if she keeps this up. I guess it’s her choice and she will be missing out. I’m sorry she’s so closed-minded.
Yes I agree with this statement being old is not an excuse for discrimination and hate. Not trying to be weird or mean but your mom seems cold I have my mother too that doesn't like trans people or specifically everybody in the rainbow lgbtq she doesn't know the acronym and she once told me that all gay people should be burned but she meant everybody and that to me is wrong right? I hope everything works out better for you let us know inquiring minds would like to know haha
I'm sorry, OP. Your mom sounds like ... a lot. It also sounds like she doesn't know the difference between trans people and drag queens in show makeup, and also like she's for some reason assuming promiscuity has anything to do with any of that. I hope it's just ignorance, but holy cow ... I'd be offended, too.
It was a very common trope that trans women were promiscuous back in the 70's-80's. Back then it was far more common to have to rely on prostitution to survive- to eat, maybe have somewhere to live, maybe maybe get HRT and/or surgery. She likely remembers the promiscuous part because that's what people who hated trans people universally understood about trans people. None of them ever implored why that might be the case or what caused them to have to rely on prostitution for survival anyways, because the bigots never cared. I agree the clowns comment was likely hate directed at drag queens and she doesn't know the difference.
I hate that people project a stereotype onto us that's only true because we were forced too, just to survive, let alone for Gender affirming care, because the Cishets sure as fuck couldn't be bothered to give a hand
My mum did the same thing she told me I wasn't allowed to bring my trans bf home anymore after meeting them once so I packed my stuff that night and moved out and honestly I'm so proud of myself for doing it and not putting up with her hate I'm offended at your mom too she doesn't sound very supportive
I’m going to be finishing college in 6 months but I don’t know if I can afford to move out, it’s so expensive :/
Maybe see if you can find a mates to crash at for a bit, that was my plan when I came out to my parents just incase shit went bad.
Your mother needs to know that it is not appropriate for her to tell you who you can and cannot date. Ever. Period. Full stop. It’s also important for her to know that you are a member of the LGBTQ community. When she shows bigotry towards the trans members of our community, she might just as well direct that bigotry directly towards you. She was trying to hurt you with that comment, and I think you need to talk about *why* she felt the need to say that.
:/ sad part is my mom knows my brother is gay and I’m bi and she still said this to us.
Well if it makes you happier, in about 5 to 10 years, she will be thinking to herself "How come neither of my children talk to me?" unless of course she manages to become a less hateful person and stops actively pushing away her children
*cries in romantic life has been crippled by coming out*
Don’t say that there are plenty of people who accept trans people, obviously mom just isn’t one of them. I don’t care what she says, I would still love a trans person openly. I also think that I may be somewhere on the non binary spectrum so lol
Relatable
Being mad you’re offended is gaslighting. Clearly it’s all bullshit. Sounds like you wouldn’t want your date - or friends or anyone - to have to endure meeting your mom. She’s done the work for you by telling you this. Next time you’re dating he very clear you won’t be bringing them home (no need to mention gender).
:/ last time I was upset about something she said, she said I ruined her entire day and then she had a mental breakdown :/
You are either just like her, or "useless". That seems to be her opinion. She wants you as hateful as her or You're "wrong". I would consider making plans to distance yourself as soon as its a possible course. I know that s not an option right now and im sorry for that. But this will likely only continue until she gets what she wants. Edit: nobody asks "are you offended" like that with any intention but a fight. Same vibe as "ya triggered, snowflake?"
Yeah don’t take any of this to heart. To put it lightly it sounds like your mom has some big issues to work through for herself personally, and she takes it out on you. Might be that she doesn’t understand or know how to control her own behaviour, but that doesn’t excuse it in any way. It’s abuse. Just make sure you know that, and know you *can* put up boundaries. If you’re legally an adult these boundaries can be as big as you want, but if not it’s seriously worth considering talking to a close family friend or relative you trust about the situation if you’re able to, and trying to get out or at least have them on side. I don’t know the full situation of course, but more than anything just know that you are not the problem here. You are valid and loved.
Age is no excuse, my 80yo Step-Grandmother has been mega supportive, despite her daughter, my step-mum, being quite the villain.
My dumb ass tried to talk my Catholic parents into letting me bring my wonderful sweet (now ex) trans girlfriend over for Christmas. They talked to me about their beliefs regarding trans people and my sexuality. I still remember how hard I was gripping my glass of water. I swore I would never attempt to introduce them to any female partner in the future after that because if they had said any of their transphobic bullshit to her face I would have had to punch them.
how and why would she need to know that the person is trans?
This is a great point, trans people should be seen as they’re preferred gender and only they’re preferred gender.
I don’t know I’m not even dating anyone right now.. My mom was talking about vibrators and was suddenly said she was trying to be sex positive.. I kind of called her out for being hypocritical because a few days ago she called anyone who is a stripper a whore.. and then all of a sudden she brought up trans people
My mom is 77. She is fully supportive of me being NB. She doesn’t see anything wrong with trans people, after learning a bit about what it means. There is no age cap on open mindedness. Only excuses used by bigots who don’t WANT to be open or learn new things. I’m sorry you’re going through this, OP.
Exactly. I'm too old isn't an excuse to be bigoted. My grandma is 75 and very supportive of the LGBTQ community
“They sleep around with a lot of people.” Here is a question for her: How exactly does she know this? And I didn’t know or realize trans people had red sphere noses and whacky hair with huge shoes and a horn. Hmm sounds like she is tooting her own horn. We sure she isn’t talking about herself? 😂😂
tell your mom she called me "her" in the ladies restroom.
I told her mom of the time she wouldn’t even know if somebody was trans, and she was like “well does she have a pussy?” Like really why does somebody’s genitals matter to you 💀
Is she planning on fucking your partners?
No, remember she told me to keep them outside 💀
You're only too old to learn when you're dead.
"they look like clowns"? Sounds like she doesn't even know WHAT a trans person *is*, and she's confusing transgender with transvestite & drag shows. She's gonna need to meet some real trans people who aren't drag performers. People who look like regular people expressing genders that they weren't assigned at birth, and not comedic performers playing with gender.
"Are you angry that I'm a bigot, and aware of it?" "Yes." "HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
"I'm too old" No, you're transphobic, damn.
"Im to old to let people live the way they want"
Your mom sounds like a real treat.
Your mom apparently doesn't know the difference between a transgender person and a drag queen.
My father is 60 and my mother in her mid 50's and neither one of them are offended that I'm dating a black man and neither one of them are offended that my sister is dating a trans woman. Your mom isn't too old to be open minded. She's a prick so it seems and feel free to tell her I said that.
'...mad that I'm offended' I'm sorry but her lack of emotional intelligence is as funny as it is baffling. Shout-out to my mom for telling me I can bring home whoever when the time comes when she had - the talk - with me when I was in elementary school.
I’m 42 years old, a trans woman, and have had sex with a grand total of two people - one of which being my wife. I bet your mom has had more sexual partners than that.
Sorry but your mum is an asshat. I've seen people in their 80's more open-minded than her.
Ask her to define what a trans person is. Just for fun.
I am not diagnosing (and couldn’t possibly with this little to go on), but that sounds an awful lot like a narcissist intentionally trying to upset you/make you angry for supply /r/raisedbynarcissists in case Either way, sounds like you shouldn’t bring anyone “home” to your mom. She belongs in the no contact bin.
As a trans person (AMAB nonbinary) I personally would hate to meet someone who does not approve of their offspring being with someone like me. Age is not a valid excuse (nothing is) for her bigotry and I hope you are able to find someone who makes you happy, and don't worry about her. I don't view family as biological at all. If someone loves and cares about the authentic you unconditionally, they're family, at least, in my opinion. Stay strong, bud. Also, she assumes all trans people are attractive enough to sleep around? That's so wrong that it's almost funny.
Alot of stereotypes about trans people suck, from most un educated people from her age just have been told its a pornographic sexual thing due to the amount of porn is produced and fetishized from them and false media trying to portray them as negative . Im sorry you have a situation around her. You sadly cant force her to be open minded but she cant excuse being disrespectful, even if you don't respect a person they are still human. I would say try and have a sit down but i dont know how stubborn she is, still with that, best of luck with you and your situation ❤️
I can’t say for sure but it seems like your mother is looking for something to be offended about.
>She said that they sleep around with a lot of people I wish.
My father said a similar thing, when I (a cis bi lady) started dating an enby. I just said, "well, looks like this isn't my home anymore".
She can die mad. "Too old" is bullshit - she's just a jerk. I'm sorry about that. :( If it's any consolation, our parents are the ones who teach us that we have to love them - which makes them an unreliable source. It sucks when our parents turn out to be unkind. :(
Your mom is a tool.
Dump ur mom. 💯
You're never "too old" to be open minded
"They sleep around with a lot of people" I'M STILL A VIRGIN😭
"I'm too old" My teachers 50 and she's okay with my pronouns, this argument is such bullshit
This would be funny if it weren’t so dangerous and hateful. The “trans people are promiscuous” thing sounds like it was copied and pasted from Red Scare era anti-gay propaganda.
Naur, I refuse to believe her (your mom). I know multiple old people who are accepting of trans people, there’s no reason not to!
How's she gonna know if they're trans tho? She clearly doesn't know what a trans person looks like if she thinks they "look like Clowns" she doesn't know anything about being trans so hows she gonna know you brought one home unless someone specifically tells her.
Atleast she’s kinda saying that she’s the problem not the trans ppl🤷🏼♀️ But yh that’s terrible I’m sorry
The too old is such bs. One of my grandma's closest friends who would be about the same age as her if my grandma were sti around. But she is the sweetest person and is super supportive. Like she destroys that argument. It's not that they are too old it's they don't want to accept them. This is also a fear of mine because my gf's mom is awful and super homophobic and transphobic. Like she knows my gf is gay but doesn't want her to date or even tell anyone. So she had asked her is i was a lesbian (i am much ruder way. She also doesn't know im trans) and my gf said yes. Her mom then asked if we were dating and she said no. To which her mom immediately said "good".
I'm mad that she's mad that you're offended. We do not "sleep around". And what's with this "I'm too old" bullshit? my dad had no problem with trans people or anyone in the LGBTQ+ community and he's probably older than her
"Too old to be open minded" I'm sorry, and I don't mean to be offensive to your mom but that is such bull shit. The truth is she has hate in her heart and can't dare allow other humans to live a life that goes against what she believes. I hope you stay safe and are able to get away from such people at some point in your life!
Ima get my own house mum
Your mom is stupid
Sounds like status quo bias
Then I suggest you find a new family.
This here is what I'm afraid for to be my parents responsive if I tell them about my Trans boyfriend and that I'm non-binary
This is just another great example of the failure of humanity. Your mom needs to get with the times just like I had to tell my father tonight that for the last 4 years I have evolved into his eldest daughter. In my fathers mind I am my former self yet I have had full conversion surgery and have had all documentation legally and properly done to have my country recognize me as female because I am. I have decent breasts and a vagina, and I nearly died and went through the worst nightmare of realizing the trauma I have been miserable for 44 years of my life till I realized my true self. I have a boyfriend who flew 7000kms and treats me like a literal princess and queen and told me it would be such a waste if I didn't have the courage to become my authentic self, my mom accepts me as her daughter and my boyfriend who literally paid for a full week to take me to Niagra Falls first time ever and he spoiled me and loved spending time with his girl..... ME. I am so fed up with peoples self-centered and selfish entitlement to voice their opinions where their thoughts and statements lack compassion and hurt the people they're supposed to be supporting us the most. People forget that it's not about them and to think otherwise is literally ridiculous. When a person's opinion threatens another person's way of life it becomes a comment and instrument of selfishness and cruelty, and bullying. Sadly it happens to come sometimes from the people we love the most. I would politely say to your mother how would you feel if you were to condemned to live your life in a body which made no sense to you? Do you think she chose to be this way ? No one goes through a change like this on a whim. You can tell her that this comment comes from a woman who it took 49 years to blossom into the woman she was destined and was meant to be. It took nearly 4 and a half decades to figure out what the issue of my misery was, and an absolute miracle to blossom into the most loved and adored woman that my special man and many friends now can appreciate me to be. My journey nearly ended June 2021, when following gender affirmation surgery (Vaginoplasty) I suffered 2 massive post op vaginal hemmorages where I nearly bled to death. I needed 4 units of blood transfused to replace what I lost. Do you think I deserved to go through such a horrific experience just to have the bravery to defy what I felt, that I was a woman since day one, except society seems to have the authority to judge something they clearly don't understand nor have any business imposing their beliefs on someone they don't even know. The irony is and truth that if anyone ever was spoken to the way your mom has spoken to you they I guarantee would tell your Mom where to go and wouldn't hesitate for a second to tell your mom where to go. She has no right to dictate your heart. Ask her as it seems when you turn people's BS back in their direction say how would you feel if you brought a man home or someone that you didn't like or wish to have her associate with perhaps even a friend ask her how she would feel if you protested her bringing someone home? I was a 911 dispatcher for 10 years saving peoples lives. I didn't care if they were gay straight bi, trans, cis whatever label society loves to put on people. My job was to save peoples lives which Essentially means ALL LIVES MATTER, people called me during their worst days possible and I was professional, their gender identity, orientation, colour of their skin, ALL of them needed my help through their most difficult days, whoever they were was irrelevant they ALL NEEDED HELP. It makes me sick that people haven't grown up in 2022 years of recorded history. Hope my thoughts, help and your trans friend either her/him should be welcomed by your mom because this person is IMPORTANT TO YOU, and she should respect that. My transition is complete therefore I will not and refuse to accept anyone calling me trans anymore. It is a TEMPORARY state, I have transitioned and with vagina and breasts as crudely as this put, don't know about all of you but that classifies me as anatomically female, so therefore I am female just like I have ALWAYS BEEN. Good luck 49 FEMALE Canada
I’m trans, and I’ve only ever been in one relationship in my life. I’m 32. Tell her about me.
"They sleep around and look like clowns", if she can make those assumptions about us, I'm gonna make em right back, and assume she looks like a clown and can't keep it in her pants, because generalizing like that is bullshit, and being old is not an excuse. If she's not dead, she's old enough to figure out how not to be a dick. You'd think after a few decades, people would get there at some point.
Trans people sleep arround with a lot of people as much as homosexual people and heterosexual, bisexual etc. It depends purely on the person itself, not their gender identity. Also if the person that is with you wants a serious relationship doesn't that mean they don't want to be sleeping arround?
You have every reason to be offended. Like, she's the one that has to educate herself about what being trans really means!
My dad is 72. He went to university with trans people and didn't care. Anyway, how does she know trans people sleep around? How many trans people is she sleeping with to know this?
I didn’t even know that I sleep around with a lot of people 😧
The only people too old to change are *the dead.* Change is the only constant n life. If you can't keep up or at least get out of the way to live and let live, then go find a nice hole in the ground and get a headstart on fucking off to the wrong side of history.
We salute you, "one trans person who is getting all the action", for your services to earning us a reputation for joyful promiscuity that the rest of us aren't even vaguely living up to. 🫡🫡🫡
She's mad that you're offended that she said something offensive? Yikes. Your mom is a pinecone.
Even my rusty ass grandpa gets that concept and hes 67.
I have an idea , show her photos of trans womans/men amongst photos of born female/male without telling her and see if she can tell the difference ! tel her only at the end , that would prove her trans peoples don't look like clowns
Well just say you're too young to not be offended and you're mad that she's mad that you're offended... Sorry but in all seriousness with the way she's acting I'm not sure you'll be able to get through to her easily.
Too old to be open minded huh? My 93 year old grandmother begs to differ.
"She says she’s just too old to be open minded" Thats just an excuse to be transphobic
Stop going to family functions is an idea. If they don't want someone who's a part of your life around, don't be a part of theirs.
My mom is 70 and has been educating herself, and my stepfather, ever since my son came out. “Too old” is a bullshit argument.
Got 2 grandma's over 70 that have accepted my sister as Trans and call her by her right name. This is a bullshit excuse for being hateful.
Parents with ultimatums like this end up alone in the end.
Sounds like your mom was absolutely looking for a fight
Your mom looks like a clown.
My (Cis-F 36) grandparents are extremely conservative Christian people. They swallow faux news, like they have for forty+ years. They're perfect examples of what happens when the news is limited in a geographical area. That said, my ex girlfriend and one of my best friends is an open Trans woman. They go see her everytime they go to the city, and they take her to lunch. My grandfather sends her a Veterans card every November. They sent her a wedding gift when she married her current wife. For context, they're 80 years old. I will never accept the argument that the Christian religion or age makes one intolerant. People are hateful because they choose to be. Your mother needs a reality check, and if she won't fix her sht, there's plenty of us that are more than willing to stand in. You are loved and you deserve to be accepted, period.
>She said if I dated a trans person I am not allowed to bring them home. Do it anyway. You have too much life to live to worry about an old bigot's closed mind.
That sounds incredibly unsafe, both for OP but especially their potential partner. My abusive and bigoted parents had a meltdown and threw my ex partner out of their house when she was visiting (with their permission) from two states away one summer.
She’s such a weirdo.. I will say I do find it comical she called us Clowns but she for sure is lazy “TOO OLD TO BE OPEN MINDED” no you’re just a fucking Lazy pathetic sloth.
Sounds like she should be mad you've cut her out of your life instead tbh.
Tell her she shouldn't say offensive things if she doesn't want to get mad at people for her being stupid.
So your Mom's a bigot. That sucks :(
Bruh sleep around with a lot of people? I fucken wish
I think i would say, isn't it possible that you got some bad information ?
Imo, people who are too old to grow with the world should just die. It's obviously not for you anymore.
just have a cis looking trans person go there without telling her lol, bring a knife just in case
She's too old to be open minded? Fuck off, Betty White didn't have any trouble being open minded to anyone. We sleep around? Honey, it's taken me 19 years to lose my virginity. Just don't tell her your partner is trans 🤷🏼♀️
If only I was good enough with people to sleep around. And the closest I look to a clown is my cool tartan pattern pants lol.m
Does your mom understand that transwomen do not look like the contestants on Drag Race? Not saying ladies can’t do their makeup like that but I don’t think that’s the norm to just run to the grocery store.
Wow. Your mother is a terrible person.
Your mom's a bigot and I'm sprry you don't have more support
"too old", my grandma is going on 100 and loves our trans cousin just as much as the rest of us
"They sleep around" 😂 my dude I am 22 and been out as trans since 16 and still a virgin 😵💫😵💫😵💫 that's hilarious
Don't bring them home like your mother said, you will do them and yourself a favour of not letting your mother screw your lives.
>they look like clowns Sounds like she's confused that mirror for a window. >She says she’s just too old to be open minded to them She's trying to excuse herself for being a bigot. *"I'm from a different generation"*, sure Gladis, that would explain why you're unfamiliar with new slang terms, not why you think certain people don't deserve basic human respect and rights. >She asked if I was offended, and I said yes, and now she’s mad I’m offended. As if seeing other human beings as lesser than wasn't already a huge red flag. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you to stay safe and do what's best for yourself ❤️
As the loving mother of a trans son, please tell your mother, from me, that she’s a dumpster fire of a human being. Only thing about her I like is that she spawned you, OP.
Agree with everyone about your mom but wanted to add this, her comment about trans people being promiscuous might stem from the old connection of trans women to prostitution (since she’s older that’s what I’m guessing). However people kind of throw that out and make that association without thinking about the reasons. Trans people and particularly trans people of color are more likely to be kicked out of homes and left homeless, also more likely to be discriminated against for jobs, even more pronounced in the 1970s-2000s era when people were even more discriminatory than they are now. Combine both of those things and the only option many people had was sex work. Nothing wrong with sex work, but this is not a choice so much as a failure of the system, and unfortunately much of the early representation of trans people in media portrayed them as sex workers. I am definitely thinking your moms biases may have to do with that subconsciously, so some education for her could definitely be useful in talking about this.
My mom told me some sh*t like this. Almost word for word. I decided then and there that it was time for me to come out as trans. Can you imagine her surprise. 😂😂😂 She did not react well and still isn’t handling it well to this day but she was so abusive to me as a kid growing up, it’s impossible for me to do anything but get excited when she’s upset.
LoL fyck her, find your true family. Check Meetup, there's several groups near me doing xmas day for those with shit families that can't accept them. I have an aunt that gave me the "all trans people sleep around" line. She also gave me the "all trans people are unemployed and on Medicare" bullshit. Which is hella ironic considering i make great money, and have good insurance, and she's unemployed and living off SSI. Which is fine if you need it, but shes said multiple times she could work but chooses not to. Haven't talked to her since.