T O P

Tired ace ball teaches the difference between being demisexual and being "normal"

Note since it may seem that way: I am not saying allosexuality is the normal. That was just the best example I could think of to use.

Whereismypurpose2

Note since it may seem that way: I am not saying allosexuality is the normal. That was just the best example I could think of to use.


NieIstEineZeitangabe

The people, that make those criticisms see themself as normal. They don't say demis are allo, they say we are normal. You have phrased it in the best way possible.


Tomorrow_Is_Today1

I actually appreciate the way you phrased it in the comic (putting “normal” in quotes and going on to define allosexual as allosexual instead of claiming it to be normal); I think that helped get across this point as well (though the comment obvs doesn’t hurt!).


ZzGift

There's also the romantic counterpart. My mom thinks demiromantic/demisexual is just a preference. This is awesome for explaining things though :D


[deleted]

honestly, i didn't know this before. thanks for the new info!


MisfitMemories

Added bonus info: Demisexuals aren't all straight!


Carrotmaster67

Not all allo's are straight. If you're "just" gay, you are allosexual too.


MisfitMemories

True! You can be allosexual and gay. You can be demisexual and bisexual.


am-li

...dembisexual?


MisfitMemories

... and if you're pansexual then you can be a pandemic!


[deleted]

Do I get to choose the pandemic I am? Do I get to be The Black Plague, or am I just the \[my name\] Pandemic?


Cheshie_D

There’s many ways to say it


Cyan_UwU

Demisexual here, thanks for the clarification. It’s annoying how many people think that demisexual and allosexual are basically the same :|


MyHairIsNotBlue

Well, shit. I didn't realize this and thought me and maybe even my parents were demisexual. Nope, I am a fool. Thank you very much for the new knowledge.


beesflags

Poor ace ball just looks so tired in that first panel... bet they've had this discussion a lot


EnochianSmiting

You see it literally every single time demisexuality is brought up. "Youre looking for attention that's just being normal" I genuinely do understand the confusion but 😭


[deleted]

Enooooooooooooooooochannnnnnnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


[deleted]

ENCOCHANNNN . Are you up? Are you awake?! Are you emotional ✅


EnochianSmiting

Always


[deleted]

:3 accurate. As a Demisexual, I was actually quite shocked when I felt physical attraction to someone for the first time. It only happened within the last year in fact! (I’m 25) :P and yes, there’s a difference between just being horny vs wanting someone physically. Developing physical attraction for someone special gave me an appreciation for the difference. I’ve said before, physical attraction is like that song from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, “The Origin of Love” which I think was borrowed from Greek Philosophy. The basic gist is: long ago humans were all these conjoined people with 2 sets of everything, basically 2 people fused back to back. But then the gods punished us for our hubris by splitting us in two And the idea of “love making” comes from 2 humans attempting to unite their bodies physically. That’s kinda what it feels like to want someone physically. It’s like you’re incomplete, even a little empty inside, and you want that sort of union. And you’d think that’d be an unpleasant experience, but no! It feels amazingly intimate. I never knew I could want someone in that way until I felt it. Heck, my datemate described it similarly, calling it “horny of the soul” and yeh! Sounds about like what I felt. But to be abundantly clear, sexual attraction IS a fun experience, but it’s ok if you aren’t able to feel it. :3 I was perfectly happy and in a loving relationship even before that point. Me and my partner would be just as happy together wether or not I felt that way towards them. :P and the same goes for Aros. I’m saying this as one myself, you don’t need either to be happy. Just live your life the way that best suits you, and remember that you aren’t alone in how you feel.


clariguard

demi people may still want to have sex without an emotional bond. they can have casual sex just because they like it, they just don’t feel sexual attraction


Whereismypurpose2

This comic represent the general definition of demisexuality. Not personal experiences. If it were the comic would be much much longer.


DefinitelyNotErate

Ooh Nice! Next Explain The Difference Between Being "Normal" And Being Alloromantic!


Whereismypurpose2

Lol by alloromantic you mean demiromamtic?


DefinitelyNotErate

No, That's Normal, What's The Difference Between Normal And Alloromantic?


Whereismypurpose2

Im sorry do you mean the difference between demiromantic and alloromantic?


DefinitelyNotErate

Yes, That's What I Said, Isn't It? The Difference Between Normal And Alloromantic.


Whereismypurpose2

No that's not what you're saying at all. Are you calling demiromantic normal?


JadedElk

I think that's the joke they're making, yes.


DefinitelyNotErate

Can Confirm, It Is Indeed The Joke I'm Making.


Whereismypurpose2

Bruhh I'm stupid 💀


DefinitelyNotErate

Aren't We All, Sometimes?


That_Birdie_Inko

As a demi, this makes me very happy :) I hate it when I come out to people and they just tell me “isn’t this normal?” (I am a straight Demisexual so it’s hard to tell the difference)


[deleted]

AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH


-Potato_Duck-

Wait, what if I do want to have sex with people regardless of my emotional bond with them? I'm not allo?


PurpleAlbatross2931

No you can still be allo. The cartoon is addressing the fact that demisexuality is about attraction, not behaviour or preference. So the allosexual in this cartoon CHOOSES not to have sex with people they don't have an emotional connection to. They are still different from demisexuals, who CAN'T feel sexual attraction until they have developed an emotional connection. Other allosexuals (and maybe some demisexuals, idk) will choose to have sex without emotional connection. The difference is in the attraction you feel, not the behaviour you choose to engage in. Does that help?


JadedElk

>(and maybe some demisexuals, idk) Some ace-spec people (and apparently even some allo folks?) chose to have sex with people they might not be physically attracted to. Some for fun, or because libido is still a thing for some/most of us, or to have kids, or \[insert reasons here\]. A demisexual person can decide to have sex with someone they don't have a personal connection with, though I'd expect at that point they'd be having sex with someone they're not physically attracted to.


PurpleAlbatross2931

Yep that's what I thought. Thanks! 🙂


Whereismypurpose2

This comic represents the meaning of demisexual. Not personal experiences.


OneLastSmile

Allosexual is the word for people who experience sexual attraction 'normally' (aka are not on the acespec) It's the opposite of asexual, just like cis is the opposite of trans.


yes_but_no_lol

might be allo...here I go again.


Whereismypurpose2

Oh no I sent someone into questioning again


[deleted]

Wait since WHEN do allosexual people necessarily rely on an "emotional connection" to go at it? Didn't they invent entire sub-cultures and industries around sex with people that are basically if not entirely strangers to them?


Whereismypurpose2

There are actually allosexual people who do. My mom is one of them. She doesn't have sex with anyone unless both their auras connects. Her words not mine lol.


[deleted]

Well to me, as someone who has no greater authority or insight on the identity, that sounds kind of demisexual. And also iconic.


Robbbg

well i'd say there's also the fact that allosexuals are willing to have hookups while demisexuals don't because as you said, no sexual attraction


Yuriinfo_Sab

fuck.. guess im alloromantic


[deleted]

wait a minute, I really thought demisexual was completely different damn. thank you for explaining


invisiblecatmom

oh hurray, i'm in this comic and i appreciate it. \^\^