Not being good at anything

I easily get upset at myself for making a mistake or not having anything I'm good at. When I try to explore my hobbies, I end up feeling disappointed in myself and think, "Why am I so bad in everything I do?". Everytime this happens I'm close to giving up.


Hi there, I understand that feeling very much as I do sometimes feel this way. If it's your first time trying something new, you'll suck at it, which is absolutely normal. Don't let it deter you. The thing is you have to let you some time to get better and it won't happen overnight. Don't be too harsh with yourself, be patient but consistent. Don't know if you're an ISFJ but what works for me is doing it with someone I'm comfortable with (a friend, a relative,...). This person can either be the one teaching or just share the experience with you. I'm more comfortable being teached than doing things all by myself because I need a methodology, guidance, positive feedbacks and advices to improve. All these things keep me motivated.


I think there's some important things to remember here... 1.) If you're doing something as a hobby, why exactly do you have to be great at it? In most cases you'll find that almost nobody cares if someone is better at a particular hobby than someone else, and you should just be focusing on it for enjoyment/relaxation instead of competition 2.) If it's something that it's important to you that you excel at, that has to be treated differently. First of all, disregard that everyone has different innate strengths and weaknesses - of course that's true, but people almost always use that as a crutch/excuse why they're not good at something, when in reality they aren't good because becoming an expert in something takes a huge commitment and hundreds to thousands of hours of practice. Nobody is great at something when they first start it, so try not to feel self conscious during that part. And if it really bothers you then you can spend even more time practicing whatever it is privately. I remember when I started boxing it was incredibly daunting and it bothered me how much better other guys were... So I spent countless hours at home on my own working on skills on my own so that when I came back to the gym every time I'd be a little more caught up to the best guys. And I did catch them - it just took years. But if you keep wanting to give up every time like you're saying now, then yeah you won't be good at anything. Because people aren't entitled/don't just deserve to be skilled at something, it's learned & earned. Edit: just checked your profile and even if you aren't where you wanna be, your drawing and cooking skills look fantastic 👍 I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit


How old are you? It’s perfectly natural to not click with MOST activities that would be considered hobbies. That’s the fun of it though, try things for fun and see if you like it, don’t try to force yourself to be a ‘computer guy’ or ‘guitar guy’ just because the people you like are.


I wonder if this is Ni demon or Se nemesis, or both, considering they exist on an axis. I suppose the equivalent for my type would be feeling like I will never find people I connect with (Fi demon) and always having ideas about things that turn out to be wrong or unsuccessful (Te nemesis). I used to be terrible at everything I’ve ever been good at, it just takes time. It is normal. Frustration is extremely normal. I’ve never had a hard time finding something that resonates, however.


I think you shouldn't give up because when you choose your hobby, it's a positive feeling. The issue is we, ISFJ, would like to be as perfect and good at everything as we expect us to be. I have the same problem at work, eventhough i'm making good job, I always have the feeling I'm doing all wrong and that everybody deeply knows it. Be strong and keep practicing what you like to.


Have you considered that you're interrupting yourself on the way to getting really good at something by discounting the time and effort you've invested because you aren't improving rapidly enough to feel as though you've accomplished something meaningful, and this in turn sets you on a continual spiral in which you lack the confidence in yourself each time you try to improve, and thus prevent yourself from spending the time and energy on actually getting better at it? I'm an artist. I've had a natural inclination for art my entire life, and have always been significantly better at it than my peers. Even that natural inclination and talent, though, means fuckall if I don't put the time into improving. Any artist out there knows that is a lifelong process. Kid me was still trash at it. I was a kid. I had the hand eye coordination of a child. Even in adolescence, after years of practice, I had a mountain to scale. Even now in my mid 30s I still see areas to improve, feel frustrated with my work quite often, and see other people do things and get irritated I can't do that yet. But I also know that we all have our own different talents, our different struggles, and we are our own worst critics. When you look at what you are doing and see criticism, see where you need to improve, *you are actively improving.* You're making the mistake of misconstruing the act of improving with failure, when the truth is, the only failure you're even making is failing to recognize that recognising your mistakes IS improving. I can write and paint on a professional level. I get paid for this shit. I can write things in a matter of minutes that have people sitting there thinking I'm some kind of fucking genius, all while I'm sitting there with no pants on looking like a fucking ghoul and feeling like an ape because I read through that shit and decided it's trash and I need to reorganise it or shorten it for the dumb fucks who can't handle reading more than 2 short sentences. You will ALWAYS be your own worst critic, and it is precisely that self criticism that signals you are learning. Your eye for what you are doing is improving, and your hands will follow suit, but your hands will never learn before your eyes do. Value your mistakes, because the fact that you can see them at all is precisely what enables you to improve, but if you only see your mistakes and don't consider the context of what you've already learned, and that caused you to give up, THAT is your failure. You fail when you stop trying to improve. Perfection is not something you can obtain. It cannot be sought after. It simply happens and we can only ever bear witness to it. Imperfection, ironically, often leads to a new idea of perfection. Happy little accidents, as Bob Ross would say. Don't chase the unobtainable goal of perfection or being truly great. Chase the journey, because it's what you experience along the way and the simple joy of doing something you have a passion for again and again and again and allowing yourself the grace of improving at the pace you are capable of. If you hold yourself to an unrealistic or impossible standard, you'll be so focused on what is out of reach that you will fail to grasp what is within reach if you stretch a little, or burn out from exhaustion. Be kind to yourself. It all starts and ends with you.