T O P

vaccinated people gave him muscle twitches

vaccinated people gave him muscle twitches

DaddyCaustic

My eye fell out of its socket and then my leg fell off. That was just from seeing a report about vaccines on TV! I also had a mate that lost his car keys, told him not to get the jab!


Silvervirage

Tell them to check their arm for the keys, they just been attracting them like magnets!


Aceswift007

No! If he goes outside he'll attract cars with his magnetism to run him over! /s


Batherick

You /s, but there was a literal FB post on here blaming another parents daughters road death on the fact that the other car was attracted to her and it was their fault for vaccinating. People are fucking cruel…


LA-Matt

Cruel and stupid is a default setting for our species, unfortunately. It can be easily overcome nowadays, but some won’t put in the slightest amount of effort.


Emordrak

or the start of a meningitis, at any case he should seek a doctor


ILookAtHeartsAllDay

Or a stroke or heart attack maybe a small brain bleed fuck even super small chance of undiagnosed MS. But I am gonna go with neurological deterioration from vaccine proximity secondary to limited cognitive function.


BlastinHash

Broke my foot from just seeing my buddy in a cast tough times


make2020hindsight

My mate got the vaccine and two months later bam! herpes. I have no words.


steverobot

I'm definitely getting my kids vaccinated. That way I'll always know where they're at and they can boost the 5G signal in my house.


jamila169

we still don't have a 5G signal and nothing sticks to us at all, I think we got the placebo


average_asshole

I must've, I never felt sick. I also haven't gotten covid since my vaccination, so far all signs point to covid not existing and the vaccine being a scam. Things have been sticking to me, but I've always had magnetic powers so I don't think they injected me with ferrous metals, probably used lithium or something. /s just in case


Nabspro

Reduce game lag and increase download speed with this one trick!


OG_raven13

“Sweats hate this one simple trick!!!”


cheffartsonurfood

I got vaccinated. I later farted twice. Cuz of the vax I know it.


PersimmonTea

Oh come on. That second fart was just you showing off.


cheffartsonurfood

Get out of my head!


J3ttf

Did you fart on the food?


cheffartsonurfood

No why? /s


PersimmonTea

User name checks out. IAlso makes me glad I don't dine out regularly)


PersimmonTea

Maybe it was a spiritual fart? https://www.thinkinghumanity.com/2021/03/pastor-criticised-for-allegedly-farting-on-peoples-heads-to-deliver-holy-spirit.html


cheffartsonurfood

Dafuq? Something tells me if your pastor wears pants like that and wants to fart on your head, it's time for a new church. Unless you want Holy Pinkeye.


MerlinCa81

Holy pinkeye from the holy brown eye.


SsjDragonKakarotto

Better than farting on my food


cheffartsonurfood

Oh I see. You prefer the more direct approach.


theantichristspeaks

I wonder if he's tried farting onto the mic to heal everyone at once 🤔


pyrodice

This one knows too much. Get the van.


DudeWheresMyKitty

What the fuck. Dude literally just has a fart fetish and is taking advantage of the rubes.


SmugPiglet

You have the Fart Disease now. I'm sorry.


cheffartsonurfood

That ship has sailed.


JeremyJaLa

Thanks to farting disease, you have the wind to push those sails


orderofGreenZombies

Due to poor diet and clogged farteries, fart disease is a leading cause of death among human beings that are still alive.


SmugPiglet

FACT: 100% of people who fart die. Coincidence?


chrissz

So holding it in is the path to eternal life?


cheffartsonurfood

Maybe you can float to heaven that way?


chrissz

Time to build a new cult based solely on this premise.


Graterof2evils

The Flatulata.


lionelfan1978

Dead people have gas too! I guess the fart disease stays alive after you die!


voice_of_craisin

When I got home from my second dose, my garage door broke. I'm suing Moderna.


djlewt

I don't think you understand. This isn't even close to the crazy here. You got vaccinated. I did not. I was in the same house as you for a bit. I farted. It's the vax's fault. This is like turbo-idiocy.


geraltsthiccass

I got vaccinated and now any time I sit outside for too long my skin goes all red and sore


fadewiles

Fess up. You sharted.


cheffartsonurfood

I'll never tell.


valorsayles

I have the strangest Boner right now


cheffartsonurfood

Most underrated comment of all time right there.


juliuspepperwoodchi

I love how these people consider an *actually infectious virus* to be a hoax and of no concern; but they're all panicked about catching teh muskel twitchin em-awr-en-ay magnetism.


CardboardChampion

>em-awr-en-ay Took me far too long to figure out this wasn't a word they'd badly spelled.


bb_cowgirl

I still can’t figure it out. What does it mean?


actualbutterfingers

I’m assuming it’s mRNA ?


CardboardChampion

That's the one. I was all like "em-awe-any"? What's that? Morn? Mourning? Tourney? Just completely going through my vocabulary before settling on that.


Vault-Born

Next month's arc is going to be the anti-vaxxers taking up masks to protect themselves from the vaxxed. I hate being in one of god's little plays.


tkp14

And using keys that they stick to themselves to prove it. Keys don’t stick to magnets. This country is chock full of morons who fancy themselves to be scientific geniuses.


EnragedAmoeba

Um, someone should tell her about the symptoms of meningitis?


creepyswaps

I had meningitis as a baby. Damn vaccine travelled back in time and infected me!


jedi_trey

5G goes both ways


darkparks

Like a bisexual.


RunInRunOn

Why did nobody tell me we could time travel?


TheHolyImbaness

I'll tell you in 5 years!


lancer2238

Nah. Let it play out


000882622

Breaking News: Anti Vaxxer Says Covid Vaccine Caused Meningitis


DrAniB20

Also about psychosomatic manifestations


kpsdarlin

Or any kind of spine or neck injury to be honest. This sounds like what I did a few months ago when I got diagnosed with arthritis. Which ironically also happened shortly after I got the shot. But I'm smart enough to know I'm genetically predisposed, biological predisposed, and had a serious case of whiplash a few years back, and that the vaccine doesn't cause arthritis.


selfawarefeline

that’s what i thought, too...


LilG1984

The twitches are just the side effects of connecting to a 5G network. It'll pass


what_comes_after_q

Just try going somewhere with better coverage and that should resolve the connection issues.


floatzilla

Good idea fellow human. Usually I try to reset my ipv4 but it doesn't always work. I shall execute your command next time this happens.


Aceswift007

I have them when the signal gets spotty, I just switch to wifi to level it out


Ratso27

One time I drank a glass of water, and later that day I got into a car accident. Water kills.


jessehuber10

Can confirm my grandmas last day alive after being diagnosed with sepsis she drank water. Stop putting water in yourself and your children


spychipper

> Water kill.s [Welcome to the resistance friend!](https://www.dhmo.org/facts.html)


ParameciaAntic

100% of the people who drink it end up dying.


DetectiveNickStone

You're dead now? I think you have a social media addiction.


oooriole09

I will forever be perplexed on why they’re so afraid of the vaccine and not the thing that killed 3.8 million +


NotScoobidoobidoo

In minds of most of them, they see “a bigger problem” vaccinating, some think it kills more, or it killed their family, and vaccines are the reason the virus continually spreads (because when they were in kindergarten, they were told vaccines were injections with a weaker virus in the shot; because oversimplified examples suited for a 5 years old is valid scientific and applicable fact in reality). The other ones just think that vaccines are enforced and that is violating their freedom; although I would say worst part is some just think enforced vaccination is because they (government or someone authorative and “evil”) will put trackable chips in you. I know some countries are really extreme with violating privacy of their individuals but this is, to be honest, the least logical sounding conclusion. I’m guessing they combine the logic from chipped animals into nanotechnology or something, somehow.


gearstars

The other part to remember also is how many of these posts are coming from foreign sources that want to increase destabilization in the US by constantly preying on people's fears and anxieties. Getting half the population to distrust science, basic virus containment protocols, masks, vaccines, the CDC, etc during a pandemic and get them to be fearful of those that do seems like a pretty good strategy for weakening a country from within. >Russia should use its special services within the borders of the United States to fuel instability and separatism, for instance, provoke "Afro-American racists". Russia should "introduce geopolitical disorder into internal American activity, encouraging all kinds of separatism and ethnic, social and racial conflicts, actively supporting all dissident movements – extremist, racist, and sectarian groups, thus destabilizing internal political processes in the U.S. It would also make sense simultaneously to support isolationist tendencies in American politics".[9] There's literally a guide on how all this is playing out. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foundations_of_Geopolitics


oooriole09

Great points. It’s still way too much fear about the thing that “might be” versus the thing that actually is.


LucyWritesSmut

Because Moron “President” and Fascist TV told them BAD!!!! so they relinquished their critical thinking ability in exchange for a MAGA beer koozie.


tkp14

I’m 73 and lived through the polio epidemic. I remember how incredibly relieved everyone was after the vaccine was discovered. And how we all revered Jonas Salk as a kind of saint. It horrifies me to realize that if these anti-vaxxers had their way back then, millions more would have gotten polio. These idiots aren’t against vaccines; they are 100% pro-plague.


Pi_astrophysicist

Sounds less like a pseudo-reaction and more like this person needs to see my chiropractor/PT. They’re either having neck problems or conversion syndrome.


dIoIIoIb

could simply be low potassium from a bad diet or medications, it can cause headaches and muscle spasms/twitchings


Pi_astrophysicist

I forgot about that one, thank you! Could also be dehydration or heat stress considering it is summer in the northern hemisphere


Fala1

Vitamin D / calcium / B12 too


SensitivePassenger

I have low potassium naturally, no matter medication or diet so it might not be lifestyle (although them refusing vaccines says they don't make great choices around health). Some people are just more at risk to low potassium. To keep mine in a normal level I'd have to eat ≈3 bananas daily or just take my supplement. But yeah basic blood tests can reveal easily if it's a deficiency or not.


sloppifloppi

I feel like it's far more likely that this person is just flat out lying to try to scare people and "prove" to people that the vaccine is dangerous and they shouldn't get it.


Sp_ceCowboy

Most likely, but how I wish I had this affect on anti vaxxer’s just by being near them.


arbitrageME

suddenly The Crucible and people pointing to the rafters and claiming the demon was there doesn't seem so impossible any more


DownandDistanceFBL

They’re likely batshit crazy


Pi_astrophysicist

I’m feeling it


ThaneOfCawdorrr

It's because he's clenched with fear and hatred all the time, of course he has headaches


simyjoe

Chiropractor. If you want to keep going back.


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walkingkary

Our car got a nail in the tire and needed a patch after all 4 of us got vaccinated. Damn vaccines. Edited for spelling


sk8thow8

$100 says this guy who claims to have a reaction simply by being around a vaccinated individual also says he doesn't need the vaccine because "MuH iMmUnE sYsTeM iS sTrOnG." It's the anti-vax immunity paradox. They have an immune system strong enough that vaccines are unnecessary, but simultaneously so weak that even being around a healthy vaccinated person makes them ill.


jdayatwork

What sub is this? Looks pretty entertaining


SicklyHeartChild

r/unvaccinated


ohgodno666

That sub is an echo chamber in all the worst ways


jdayatwork

Thank you


Diz7

Anti-Vaxxers: I don't need vaccines, I have an immune system to protect me from disease exposures. Also Anti-Vaxxers: Oh god, I got exposed to someone who was exposed to a weakened version of a disease. Am I going to die? If only my body had some way to defend itself.


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[удалено]


walkingkary

They think we’re shedding spiked proteins even though most of the vaccines have no virus in them at all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GC40

Did you see their leaked schematic for the tracking chips in vaccines. It’s the exact same schematic for the Boss Metal zone guitar pedal.. one of the best selling guitar pedals. They couldn’t even find an obscure pedal to use. https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.guitarworld.com/amp/news/conspiracy-theorists-share-schematic-for-5g-chip-they-claim-is-implanted-in-covid-19-vaccines-only-its-actually-for-the-boss-metal-zone


wombat1800

I'm stuck to my fridge send help


Aceswift007

But all good things are put on the fridge : )


NotScoobidoobidoo

I relate, aunt was diagnosed with brain tumor after coming in contact with so many vaccinated people working in a hospital. Never vaccinate, you’re putting everyone in danger!


5pl1t1nf1n1t1v3

I had a mate who had a conversation about vaccinations and the next day he got food poisoning. Vaccines are properly dangerous.


greffedufois

My husband ended up sterile after his vaccines! (Also could've been the vasectomy 1 month after the second shot) Unfortunately I am still fertile. Dammit.


Aluindrel

My muscles twitch too, I just chalk it up to my body being it’s weird self


ansonr

You may need more iron. Especially if you specifically get eye twitches.


scJazz

Yeah it is called withdrawal. Did this fool forget to drink booze, inject, or otherwise fail to bow down to the addiction?


anitabelle

Actually, I’ve seen this many many times and it’s quite common. She’s suffering from a strong case of morbid stupidity.


Veggiedelite90

Sounds like someone that’s so anxious that they’re giving themselves stress headaches tensing up so bad. As someone that’s dealt with severe anxiety at points of my life I’m almost 100% sure this person is either making shit up or creating their own issues by being extremely anxious. Either way it’s 100% not because of being around vaccinated people


AnAntWithWifi

He actually could have real symptoms, it would be a Nocebo effect. It’s when you think something is happening to you or something does things on you and they start happening. Like, if I think that I have a cat allergie, I might start coughing around cats.


shawn_overlord

Its just sad to me these people live in echo chambers that will never tell them theyre full of shit


Asarath

I'll never understand this. I had genuine side effects from the vaccine: my arm swelled up, I lost balance and my brain went foggy, and my whole arm was in immense pain for a few days. And I still fully plan to get my second shot. I reported the side effects with my lot # on the NHS yellow card website, took painkillers, drank fluids and everything has been fine. It feels good to be doing my part for the greater good.


audiate

I feel for these people, I really do. To be THAT ignorant must make life very difficult.


thegardenhead

I don't. Willful ignorance with the sole intent of division is shameful.


Eth_McG

Those people must be really loud and annoying


Superdunez

I feel sorry for the Dad. I cant imagine the disappointment he feels when his son greets him at the door with more "Youtube facts".


blc0903

So what you’re saying is since I got the vaccine, I now have powers?


johngalt1971

Dad is a rational human being. You are an idiot. Idiots get headaches around rational people.


UmbralApocrypha

Imagine how disappointed his parents must be


Bryaxis

If only they had such a strong sense of contagion when it comes to viruses.


Kyanovp1

You know Chuck McGill from better call Saul? These people are like him. They genuinely believe they have symptoms from those, yet there’s no symptoms. It’s literally all in their head the same way Chuck thought he couldn’t handle electricity


smhrx11

I remember when I went to get my first dose. The nurse asked some screening questions and then she swabbed my arm with alcohol. She gave me the vaccine. Before I left, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t owe anything at that time, so I asked her about it. She said, “I need about tree fiddy.” It was at that time I noticed that the nurse was 8 stories tall and smelled so bad. It was that damn Loch Ness monsta!


Shoot_them_all

What subreddit it that?


leinad197742

No….because I’m not dumb.


Sojournancy

Think of the average person you know. And now understand that 50% of people are dumber than that.


gordibuenas

I get a headache every time I visit my vaccinated parents. I also drink more when I’m around them.


lionelfan1978

I think the shit from his brains is leaking into his blood stream!


iamreeterskeeter

Amazing, my eye twitches when I am around unvaccinated people.


MikeHatSable

I got the vaccine and it turned me into a Newt! ... ...I got better.


LeMans1217

I would encourage the unvaxxed to stay at least 6 feet away from vaccinated people and try to find some way to protect you from breathing the air that we exhale.


partycolek

I bet people get headache around this person a lot too


ilovepuscifer

I got the vaccine and my muscles twitch uncontrollably, but on the other hand I woke up speaking 5 languages so... que sera sera!


darwintologist

What a sad little life this person must lead to be so afraid of a vaccine they’re worried it’s affecting them without even receiving it. Buying every last scrap of garbage from the anti-vax crowd, who are now trying to claim transmissible effects just to get people angry about others making the responsible choice for themselves. It must be exhausting living in fear of everything.


madWoman90

Damn, it’s like that time I was talking to one of my coworkers who is anti-vax. After that experience I instantly walked into a door. Anyone else have similar stories where they became dumber after being around unvaccinated people?


rednazgo

I've heard this happen a lot. What I would do is keep distance from people, wash hands regularly and wear a mask in public spaces.


I_am_naes

How awesome would it be if the vaccine was contagious?


LossOfWords-

I got my second dose yesterday, and I'm sick as hell That's what you can expect from getting vaccinated, not giving headaches to other people, I mean how would that even work What?????


MsAnthrope74

It's hysteria. The only cure for that is a lobotomy. Someone get a saw, and an ice pick and some.... Oh wait, you need to have an actual brain to get a lobotomy.


Good-Brilliant1638

Yeah one time a girl told me she wasanti vax and i got a savage headace from the stupidity


brosophila

This people really have to make everything about them


sarcasticbaldguy

Interesting. This guy's dad reported headaches and facial tics after spending time with his kid.


worm_dad

i also get a headache from being around my dad but its not bcus he's vaccinated


Bojacketamine

Conversion disorder


_bifrost_

I had a headache when someone was explaining how vaccines are harmful , but hey i ain't complaining.


romulusnr

It's probably all the MSG


Anthropoligize

I wish it was painful to be this stupid


slugsliveinmymouth

My uncle got vaccinated when he was a baby. 50 years later he died from a motorcycle accident. I doubt it’s a coincidence. Also my dad was vaccinated when you was a kid as well. He now suffers from obesity and high cholesterol. Smh, when will bill gates be brought to justice?


whiskeyknitting

It is called anxiety.


s_i_m

Good. Now stay away from the vaccinated


Luciabruden

Yes stupidity does that to people.


hare-wolf

Those are clear symptoms of stupid.


Echolynne44

I got vaccinated on Jan. 6 right when the capital was being attacked. Coincidence?!


furn_ell

My friend’s mom did a marijuana in the 70s and died. Funeral is next Saturday


StickynotesRDR2

Key and Peele: CONSEQUENCES Part 2


procvar

I might regret asking. Which..... which muscle is that?


PersimmonTea

I think that person really is suffering from an oxygen allergy and should avoid consuming it. (I'm being sarcastic and very mean.)


irish_boyle

Obviously the vaccine isn’t contagious but if you get pfizer do expect side effects I got it and it knocked 10 rounds out of you although it is worth it and they warn you before


SuperOrganizer

I would say be prepared for side effects (i.e., schedule day after from work). I had only mild fatigue after each Pfizer shot. Not everyone will have noticeable side effects.


irish_boyle

Yeah I was unlucky had real headache exhaustion and my eyes hurt but I’m a pretty small guy so makes sense


Giffy85

No but this guys making my eye twitch… 🙄


airdriejambo

The replies gotta be good too.


FaintCommand

I miss the pre-vaxx days when people never had to experience health-related pain or discomfort.


BabserellaWT

I could try to explain the difference between correlation and causation to these idiots, but they’d be too stupid to get it.


Marlinspikesailor

Aww shucks. I wanted to read the similar stories!


Ct-1215

What sub is this?


Delikkah

So you can’t catch a virus but you can catch a fucking vaccine. Ok.


Gurkeprinsen

I once stepped on a sharp item barefoot and had to get it sutured. The doctor gave me a tetanus shot and I began feeling pain in said foot the following night. Those damn vaccines


let_em_live_tdog

Sounds like a pinched never in the neck…or….much more..likely Bullshit


mcgillibuddy

Damn I wish the subreddit wasn’t censored out, I wanna peruse whatever shit show this was posted on lmao


birdlawexpert11

I just walked near the sign advertising the moderna shot at my local grocery store and my penis got way smaller. I swear it was bigger yesterday, like huge. Damn you bill gates and your dick shrinking agenda


leaderofstars

i got the johnson and johnson shot and i got sick fer a few days. loved it


GALACTICA-Actual

Or... You know... Meningitis.


Throwawwway2021789

Just prolly has Covid


poggiebow

Homeboy has Rabies.


UnicornCackle

Pfft! That's nothing. I had a headache four days \*before\* the vaccine. That's how powerful Gates/Soros/5G/delete as appropriate is!


N_Who

Lots of people have similar stories. But, like this one, they are either finding causation where there is none, or they are completely made up.


morosco

How are people so fucking stupid. I don't understand how this person even understands that food goes in his mouth, or that running in front of a moving car is dangerous.


StunGod

Clearly, somebody cast a spell on this person. I wonder if there were any shady witches around?


arbitrageME

she can detect vaccinations just by touching them? she should work for the TSA


iamnotroberts

>After those experiences I have my muscles twitching all over my body. I'm pretty sure it's not the large amounts of meth I've been smoking so I must have gotten a contact vaccination.


flaskman

Dear God if you really are up there and exist…please provide me with a anti-Vaxxer experiencing psychosomatic symptoms around vaccinated people. It’s all I ask and it’s such a small request.


Spongebosch

I think they might just be misattributing the symptoms. These are fairly common of 5g. /s


hairenya

Yeah we’ve all had migraines before sis


iheartprobinson

Haha these posts are everywhere in r/COVIDvaccine


Rosebunse

I get muscle twitches, especially when stressed. These people are probably stressing themselves out so much that they are giving themselves headaches and twitches.


tripleamiaaa

I got vacinated and I taped a magnet to my arm, surprise, it stuck so clearly vax=microchip. Thanks Bill gates


Rosebunse

This person is probably giving themselves muscle twitches from stress.


KecemotRybecx

These people are fucking morons.


rhinosaur-

It’s amazing how they believe it’s a sign of strength to. Go without a mask for an entire pandemic, but then when we have a vaccine they panic. No logic at all.


kelrunner

Not only does he have a headache...he is one.


dosShedos

Anti Vax posts make my eye twitch.


jrs1980

Pfffft, my dad has given me a headache for like 15 years now. Must be a pre-vax side effect.


MonarchWhisperer

I heard that a bunch of women got pregnant just from being around their vaccinated boyfriends. I don't let my boyfriend come over to visit anymore. I'm 65. There's no way that I could deal with a pregnancy at this point


Redman2009

it's mindblowing to me that people this dumb have careers and families.