By - fartguy6
Reading this hurts my soul because I'm also an INFP 9w1, however, I'm now in my twenties.
>Everybody I meet, I fall in love with, because I starve for the feeling of love.
Yeah, I got a pretty good grasp of how that felt when I was a teen, and to be honest, the only advice I can give you is : learn to love yourself.
I didn't believed at that in the beginning : "me? why should some sick fuck like me be deserving of any love?", but with the help of meditation and introspection, I've managed to grasp my true self. I thanked a lot the song *The Essence of Silence - Epica* for that, that song speaks exactly about what you're struggling with, the self sabotage.
You cannot truly expect anyone to love you the way you are, when even you don't love yourself. Rebuild yourself as a new person, one that's deserving of love because nothing lasts forever... I hope one day you find yourself in my position and guide other suffering people to the right path.
I'm doing this for you because that's what I needed back then...
As an INFP I understant these emotions and feel your pain.
I dont know your situation but I would advise just be your Authentic self ensure you meet others needs but whilst not starving your own needs.
There will allways be people who will appreciate who you are. For the INFP its usually its just a few but there often the best of people. Ones which except that INFP's are social outcasts.
Be confident in your strengths and your uniqeness. And dont try to be someone your not its unatural to the INFP. Channel these emotions into strengths maybe an emotional vulnerabilty can be turned into a resolve.
A mediators greatest strengths can also be weakness. depression, restlessness, and sensetivy are hard aspects to deal with, I remember when I was at school I had very few friends but I now see the problem was not me being different but there complete disregard for uniqeness and authenticity within me in whatever form it comes. I was bullied and ignored but with all honesty I look back and I see I was unwilling to compromise on who I was and that was a strength.
So realise your not the problem. Its often others who have a problem to solve of which they often do as you get older people mature and tend to be more accepting of uniuqeness.
Your not alone here many INFP males like me have had this problem. You will come out stronger. What makes you strong breaks you first. And ignore the idealism of a insensitive stereo typical man. Emotions are by no means female traits. Women appreciate empathy, your a kind and caring individual you will attract the best of friends in time. Ive learnt that.